ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 23 October 2006

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"PICKED THE THEME! I'm no longer a theme-virgin! OMGWTFBBQEARTH!" -

saramund

We are alternating between amused & bemused at the term "theme-virgin". But yes,

saramund, you are right - this week's theme was Earth. In case you're wondering how we come up with these themes, a story: CV & AL are out to dinner with some friends. "Have we written a quiz for this week?" says one of us. "No," says the other. "Got a theme in mind?" "Not yet." We look around the restaurant & notice the candle on the table. "How about ... Fire?"

And now you know! Earth follows Fire because we were too lazy to go out to dinner again to play I-Spy until we came up with something more original.

1. In military engineering, moats, sod walls, motte-and-bailey castles, hill forts, trenches and berms are examples of what kind of construction?

"I’ve long wondered why MS Word does not recognize 'berm' as a word. It annoys me that it puts a little red squiggly line under it (as I do use it fairly often, being, y’know, an engineer and all). Sure, I could just 'add' it to my dictionary, but why should I have to go through all that work when they’re the ones in the wrong in the first place?!" -

smeddley

"'Berm' is a real world? God, does this mean I have to go back to high school to apologise to Mr. Bermman? Because that would suck. I hated that guy." -

nirejseki

"Shoddy. I work for the Navy and can assure you the military does not know how build anything well." -

antinomic

"Child's play. You forgot snow forts." -

schizospider

(Yes, we look to Buffalo to see how it's done. -AL)

"'Tank go boom and they're gone' architecture" -

skfromstamford

"I joined the army to be a hero, no one told me I'd spend most of my time digging holes." -

sskipstress

"I haven't got a clue what kind of construction that is, I just know that for some reason the concept of 'sod walls' makes me giggle. Mostly because my mother informed me that 'sod' is short for 'sodomy' after I started telling people to 'sod off'." -

djs_specs

"Dirt Cheap, honestly the materials are just lying around. You get a two-for-one deal on mix-and-match, buy one trench or moat and get a sod wall free!" -

shadowed_guise

(Aha, we see what you've done there. +1 for cut & fill. -AL&CV)

"The kind your daddy builds in the backyard for three weeks before finally giving in and driving to Menards to purchase the Rainbow playset you've wanted for weeks. Which he then proceeds to attempt to assemble in the backyard for the next three weeks. And when he finally finishes, he starts the long, long journey down the road to alcoholism." -

fireworkfiasco

"The kind of construction that falls over & sinks into swamps." -

csi_tokyo3

(+1, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. -CV)

"The bad way to construct New Orleans." -

akiyasan

(Yeah, they should have watched more Monty Python. -CV)

"Okay, the theme is earth, but the most military thing that comes to mind with that is scorched earth, which I'm pretty sure is wrong, so, uh, earth fortifications? Earth defenses? No, that sounds like Missile Command. Man. They should just call them earth works. Vague, but at least it doesn't sound space-age." -

potassiumman

(Vague and non-space-agey it is! -CV)

Correct Answer: Earthworks.

"A total misnomer, since earth doesn't actually work." -

germankitty

2. Scandium, yttrium, and fourteen of the fifteen lanthanides are sometimes known by what group name?

"What foul tongues dost thou speak in?" -

shadowkeeper

"I'm embarrassed to admit that I took first year chemistry twice and still don't know the answer to this one." -

basking_lizard

(Third time's the charm, they always say. -CV)

"I thought it only took 5 powers combined to make Captain Planet." -

lyme

(This is the Director's Cut. -CV)

"The Iums." -

wiredwizard

"I have no idea, but I had to do a project on scandium in the eighth grade. The assignment was to make a brochure for how awesome our element was. My theme was 'Scandium: The Purposeless Element'. (Scandium probably has a purpose, but I couldn't find it on the internets. DAMN YOU, INTERNETS.)" -

elsajeni

"Dammit, I no longer have the periodic table as my desktop! I now have Loch Lomond, which is pretty but not as educational. DAMN YOU LOCH LOMOND." -

dracothelizard

"Don't those elements fall in that bottom row of chemicals - you know the one I'm talking about - the row that gets pulled out and filed away at the bottom of most periodic tables? Yeah, those are more commonly known as the Pussy-Whipped chemicals. All but Uranium, who happens to own some bling." -

fireworkfiasco

"I have to wonder if something like Sc₂O₃ would be called Scandalous Oxide." -

deltashade

(Alas, no. Chemists aren't really that funny. -CV)

"Pity that poor 15th lanthanide, kicked out of the group for being a garden-variety earth." -

mark_laura

"The Rare Earths. It was originally the fifteen lanthanides making up the backing orchestra, but in a case of mistaken identity Promethium got framed for this arson deal." -

shadowed_guise

(+1 for learning something from last week's quiz. -AL&CV)

Correct Answer: Rare earth elements.

"I’m more partial to the 'medium-well' earth group…" -

smeddley

3. Which singer/actress/catwoman was described by Orson Welles as "the most exciting woman in the world"?

"You know, that's a hard thing to catch up to. Singer! Actress! Catwoman! Exciting! What can I hope for? 'Marginally interesting! Has a parrot! Sleeps a lot!'" -

runrunmarch

"Wait a minute...Orson Welles got with Halle Berry? I really think I want to be a science fiction writer now." -

skfromstamford

(You're either thinking of Orson Scott Card or H.G. Wells. Either way, WRONG. -CV)

"The only acceptable Catwoman is Lee Meriwether." -

elsajeni

"Michelle Pfeiffer's exciting, and played Catwoman...but is she a singer?" -

conglacio

(I believe that was The Fabulous Baker Boys, and no, that was NOT exciting. -CV)

"I'm afraid I just don't trust the judgement of a guy whose last role was 'The Transformers Movie'..." -

nirejseki

(You have to admit, it was his largest role ever. Even for Orson. -CV)

"Margaret Thatcher. Orson was easily excited." -

dhud98
"Ew. I don’t think I need to know what 'excites' Orson Welles." -

rorylareina
"Never realized Orson Wells was a furry." -

wendynat

"My wife Mary. You may not think me correct, but I just got major husbanding points. I get pudding tonight!" -

antinomic

(I'm going to pretend I never saw this. -CV)

"Wow, singer, actress, and catwoman? She really brought the whole Kitt and caboodle." -

deltashade

"Y do we even have that lever?" -

basking_lizard

(+1, The Emperor's New Groove. -CV)

"I don't care if she is pushing 80--GMILF, anyone?" -

i_calql8

(You're only excused because you're about 50. Anyone else who said that, ew. -CV)

Correct Answer: Eartha Kitt.

4. What comes next in this series: Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart, Melbourne, _____?

"Crikey!" - Oh come on now.

"I still have trouble remembering how to spell 'atlas.'" -

dragonierzapp

"There is NO City Number Six!" -

thanks4thefish

"I keep trying to make that fit the tune of 'La Vie Boheme' but it's not cooperating. Damn." -

jessicamariek

"Knowing

ljdq's penchant for going with pronunciation over spelling half the time (and forget meaning!), I'm gonna say ... Middle Urth." -

germankitty

"Scrod" -

kokopellinelli

"Cranberria" -

skfromstamford

"Earthopia" -

alatariel_helya

"P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. I bet I could remember it again. P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney." -

xphilega

(+1, Finding Nemo. -CV)

"United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru!" -

sskipstress

(+1, Animaniacs. -CV)

"The party in High Jackman's pants." -

flawed_karma

"Areas in Australia that don't get taught in American high schools." -

akiyasan

(Oh, that could be anything. -CV)

"Who the fuck names a city 'Hobart'?" -

eris779,

potassiumman

"You should have made a left at Albuquerque." -

utforsker

(Bugs Bunny is always the right answer. -CV)

"Hmm. S, B, A, H, M. I'll go with... Riverfieldvilledale. Because it
begins with an R. And with an R, you get BRAHMS. And Brahms is sexy." -

docrefa

(And this week's

gruyere Award For Logic Renunciation goes to...

docrefa! -CV)

"PERTH! I've been there! And I saw Quokka's. OKay, so they're not in Perth per se, but still, they're so cute and cuddly and bouncy and rat-like all in the one package! Quokka's rule!" -

saramund

Correct Answer: Perth.

(If I could, I would totally give CV a -100 every time he writes one of these pun questions. -AL)

5. What book, authored by Al Gore in 1992, forms the basis of his film An Inconvenient Truth?

"I went to see An Inconvenient Truth today. I know I should have been worrying about the planet but that slide show was like apple macintosh porn." -

allieg

"is it 'An Inconvenient Truth?' Probably not, but that would have been convenient wouldn't it?" -

sitandwait

(It would have been quite convenient; I'll give you that. -CV)

"I am an Internet Inventing Robot" -

kestrel127
(...and its sequel:)
"Okay, Okay, So I Didn't REALLY Invent the Internet." -

kokopellinelli

"Is It Hot In Here, Or Is It Just Me?" -

cmzero
"The Sensuous Nerd." -

drbear

(I'm pretty sure the words "hot" and "sensuous" have never been used to describe Mr. Gore. -CV)

"The Treehugger's Manifesto" -

flawed_karma

("Chapter One: Really, Don't Hug The Pine Trees. Ow, Pointy." -CV)

"The Day the Earth Stood Still" -

csflick

(Hmm, the robot's name WAS Gort. A strange coincidence, indeed! -CV)

"That would be his classic SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS, PAY ATTENTION TO ME." -

elsajeni

"Things the Former President's Son Does Not Like To Think About" -

jessicamariek

"How to Succeed in Politics Without Really Trying" -

i_calql8

"How To Win Friends And Lose Elections." -

scifantasy

"Zen and the Art of Planetary Destruction" -

wiredwizard

"An Incontinent Truth. He had this whole thing about how we were pissing on nature accidentally. It got cut out of the movie, of course. Large dicks hanging around just beg to be cut." -

falar

(The metaphor here is truly impressive. -CV)

Correct Answer: Earth in the Balance.

6. You've got one month of free travel. Where on Earth would you go?

"Why are we limited to Earth, man? The LJDQ is repressing us!" -

nirejseki, piping up for seven of you anti-earthers.

"Antarctica. All those penguins and seals and ice and whales and rock and ancient lakes sealed underneath the ice and crazy dwarf plants and the driest place on earth. Doesn't get any better than that." -

basking_lizard

"I would visit the South Pole and fuck up some penguins." -

fireworkfiasco

"I would like to thoroughly explore Lucy Liu's pants." -

thepikey

"I'm ready for a month-long nap." -

runrunmarch

"No one wants to say Thailand for the 12 year old hookers, but everybody's thinking it." -

droptheleash622

(Actually,

utforsker did. -CV)

"To the moon, Alice!" -

marasca

"Your mom's bed!" -

skfromstamford

(Yes, someone always has to take it to that level. -CV)

"Wherever Carmen Isabela San Diego is, I'll be there!" -

b_hulsmans

"Where all the white women at?" -

etcet

(+1, Blazing Saddles. -CV)

"JAPANLAND. And I'd demand a giant robot. Like Gigantor. Yeah, fuck Voltron, Gigantor has a more awesome theme song. GIGAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTOR! BIGGER N BIG, STRONGER N STRONG. Then I'd travel on his shoulder around the rest of the world, and we'd go to Luxembourg to stamp around and wreak havoc because nobody ever stomps Luxembourg to the ground, they always want to destroy like, London or Tokyo or New York or LA. I want to show up and be like, 'SURPRISE, MUTHAFUCKAS'." -

lyme

Correct Answer: Kenya, of course. Maybe a stopover in Lapland. Which isn't too far from Norway.

You hit the ground running with this week's set of answers, unearthing new levels of comedic gold. I'd continue, but it was AL's birthday this weekend, so I'll be nice and offer her a mostly pun-free comment paragraph. She celebrated with opera and Chinese food by the pound. And it was excellent. Happy Birthday!

Thanks for playing, everyone, tell your friends, and come by again!

Rock on,

AL&CV