LJ Daily Anssswerss: 28 Augussst 2006

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"I thought I was going to get to be funny this week and make a Snakes on a Plane joke or two, but it turned out to be the freakin' theme." - _beatlette_

Ok, you got us. We have succumbed to the cult phenomenon. This quiz was all about Snakes on a Plane. Not even remotely subtle. Not even remotely ashamed of the fact. No regrets. And really, did you expect us to ignore this? I think not. But, that being said, we're getting all of our Snakes on a Plane comedy out of our systems with this quiz. And you guys are too.

"There was a snake in my driveway this morning.

Rather weird that you post a snake theme and there's a snake in my driveway. Did you put it there? I think you did." - queeniexb

"'Oh I come from a land down under...' This is week three of this song stuck in my head. If I didn't love LJDQ so much I'd totally be coming for you." - whomajigi

It's moments like this that make it all worthwhile.

And, to start off, some minor statistics: the word "motherfucking" was seen more times in this week's answers than in all previous weeks combined. This should surprise absolutely no one.



1. What is this thing?


"This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl..." - marilyth

(+1, Airplane. -CV)

"Snakes on a Cane!" - xgreenjudasx, tarpo, pirate_eggie, lovellama

"That is two snakes kissing. They love each other so much, their love has grown wings. On a flagpole." - moreteadk

(That's so sweet. Wrong, but sweet. -CV)

"It's the Elite version of a Grand Scepter in Diablo II." - deltashade

(I've been researching this strange film, and I believe it to be the work of Claw Vipers. -CV)

"Snakes on a Spectre!" - jenny_1981

(This misspelling was excellent. -CV)

"The symbol of the snake marriage rights movement. Marriage is not a mammalian privilege." - last_radio

"That is the international symbol for albino lesbian snakes. The stick in the middle is the suffocation of the male oppressor." - whomajigi

"I read that the snakes symbolised the dual nature of women and the rod symbolises men's... manliness." - herdivineshadow

"its the instrument that doctors use to surgically remove any and all monies you might have hidden up your butt." - miwseshat

"I have no idea why Hermes' winged and snaked stick is a symbol for the medical profession. I mean, when I'm sick, the last think I want to associate with the doctors is a stick covered in snakes which can fly." - paradoxhorizon

"It's like, dude! There's this frikkin' thin plane with angel wings and snakes go on board and start doing it! Like, whoa! And then I thought, dude! isn't that like, Asclepius's 'thingie'? Oh man, wouldn't it hurt like hell to have two snakes wrapped around your 'thingie'?" - docrefa

"Hey! Remember your Hippopotamus Oath!" - thepikey

"Seriously, is that actually where they got this design from:

I guess a winged stick is the ancient version of a plane." - l33tminion

"I never remember what that thing is called and always go through various words like meniscus, ichthys, couscous, and a billion more before I decide that it's not meant for me to remember what it's called." - halo4

"Cadeuceus Clay, Heavyweight Champion. Later changed name to Hippocrates Ali." - etcet

(Number of grotesque misspellings of "caduceus": 29
Number of distorted versions of "Asclepius": 7
Number of people who thought Asclepius was a caduceus: vanbrosia -CV)

"A cada caduk cadduceaus cadukeus fuck it." - hylarn, peaseblossom03, aynisha

Correct Answer: Caduceus



2. And what is this thing?


"Visual representation of corporate behaviour. It's covering your ass with your mouth." - a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

"The new symbol used to represent the Democrats in the 2008 elections." - pheltzer

"It can't be a snake; it's got legs. It appears to be a fox with a self-injury problem, probably a borderline personality disorder. I suggest a mood stabilizing drug followed by cognitive-behavioral therapy." - david_deacon

"That would be a motherfucking snake eating its motherfucking tail--and a symbol of motherfucking regeneration and motherfucking immortality. The proper term for it would be a motherfucking ouroboros." - photosinensis

(That answer is good enough to win the djdysfunction Award for Profanity. Give photosinensis a big fucking hand! -AL&CV)

"I don't know, but until a few months ago, it was illegal in Texas." - ginalin

(....what? -AL&CV)

"Some creepy thing eating his own ass, much like I'd like my newly ex-boss to do." - angelchicken

"I wonder how evolution managed to evolve the feet off of snakes between the middle ages and now. Must be a sign of intelligent design. Er... re-design." - marasca

"Something that if guys could do, they wouldn't chase women." - drbear

"The first draft of the Dark Mark but they realized it was Gryffindor's colors so they scrapped it." - sire2541

"The One Ring of Power, Darwin-ized!" - elfie_samurai

"After I read the Wheel of Time series, I seriously coveted one of those rings. Then the series just didn't end. Kind of like the snake-ring." - flor_enojada

"if I recall xfiles, tis a symbol of immortality or something about infinity or endlessness, though Scully would not recommend visiting that tattoo artist, as bad things happened in that episode, as often does in xfiles. i'm told the truth is out there." - firebrand618

"Hoopsnake! Otherwise known as 'ouroboros' or 'the logo from Millennium'." - chaobell

"Since airlines have been cutting costs and eliminating in-flight meals, passengers such as Ourobouros have been known to resort to extreme measures like self-cannibalism to fend off hunger pangs at 30,000 feet." - pirate_eggie

"The happiest creature alive, it can eat it's own tail. I haven't seen anything like that since the last Ron Jeremy movie I watched." - beccak1961

"Snake on a snake on a snake on a snake on a snake on a snake on a..." - ilgreven

"It's that groovy Jormungand Mood Ring I got from some shady godling at the Ragnarok Fire Sale last week!" - arckyosuke

"Ourobouros, which is Greek for 'This tastes like ass again.'" - etcet

Correct Answer: Ouroboros



3. And who is this guy?


"Hey, let's make a character where we don't have to do that bothersome lip-synching to the dialog. I'm tired of drawing facial features!" - ginalin

"I find his lack of face disturbing." - fiberaddict

"A guy who wants to make you think his face is on his neck. Look at that evil little face on his neck!" - clare_dragonfly

"Worst. Fencer. Ever." - schizospider

"Dark Helmet in his formal wear" - wiredwizard

"Kneel before Zod" - david192

"No clue, but from where I'm sitting, his badge looks like a big blue penis." - aynisha, wendynat, dorei, angelchicken

"The man saves a fortune on face moisturizer, nose hair trimmers, and eyelash preeners." - hellpaladin2183

"I'm going to plead serious ignorance and then kick myself when I find out that it's a character from an 80's Kids show." - distractogirl

(Yes. Yes you are. -CV)

"Snake Eyes, not good for GI Joes or for craps players" - marasca

"Ussselesss...all useless. Wassss once a maaan..." - sawjockey, buzz, swampdweller

(It's tough choosing between +1 and -1 for citing this movie. -CV)

"I still remember the episode where they revealed that Cobra Commander had eight eyes. Dude! He is a COBRA stupid. Cobras have TWO eyes. SPIDERS have eight eyes. I was so upset." - chrysoberyl

"Cobra, and I swear this is from TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES even though I don't know how I know that and I'm not even sure anyway so never mind." - queencallipygos

(And I swear I don't know how you could be so VERY VERY WRONG. -CV)

"Some robot I can't remember from Transformers." - amphelice

(You too. -CV)

"Cobra Commander, the leader of the only military force with worse marksmanship than The A-Team. But then, The A-Team only did it for the jazz, man." - i_calql8

"I think he was Abba Commander, back when he was seventeen, and still the dancing queen, or something. And then the Seventies ended, causing the psychological damage to him that led him to found an international terrorist organization." - arckyosuke

"My husband assures me this is probably some G.I. Joe character named The Snake Commander. It scares me that he knows this." - ghymoreid
(Three hours and four minutes later:)
"my husband amends his number to #3 to 'It's Cobra Commander!! I just remembered that!' I am now even more scared." - ghymoreid

Correct Answer: Cobra Commander, from G.I.Joe

"now you know, and knowing is half the battle." - kittikattie, spatialrift47



. Great theme, huh?

Correct Answer: TOTALLY.



4. What 80s hair band, founded by David Coverdale, is best remembered for their single "Here I Go Again"?

"Ah, the obligatory 'Let's get this crappy song stuck in their heads!' question. Curse you and the snake you rode in on." - queeniexb

"That was my class song. Whitesnake was my class song. Our class flower was the white rose. Why yes, my high school did suck!" - bnh

"I believe the correct term for an 80s hair band is a scrunchie." - yak_boy, kandelschwartz, angrboda

"Something about snakes... and hair, apparently... Medusa?" - cougarfang, enchanteresse, scifantasy

(Oh man, we totally should have asked a question about Medusa! - AL&CV)

"The Parcelmouths" - csflick

"Like a drifter, they were born to be confused with Poison, RATT, and Quiet Riot alone." - deltashade

"I hate that song. One of my dorm neighbors would play that whenever he was getting some action. You listen to that song on loop with a background of bed-thumping and groans and see how you like it." - ccaretta

"I'm sick of these motherfucking Tawny Kitaens writhing around on this motherfucking car!!" - miss_katelynne
"Thank you very much. After reading this I've been beseiged by thoughts of Tawney Kitaen at work, which has led to a snake problem of a whole different sort." - umbralcorax
"I hear she's working in a Midwestern radio station now as a late-night DJ, under the name of Mona Loveland." - i_calql8

(This was the obligatory "Snakes in a Kitaen" section. Carry on. -CV)

"I had a way bigger crush on Coverdale than I ever did on that red-headed chick in the video. Although, I think I saw a nipple once and that was all right." - peaseblossom03

(+1, getting your gay on. -AL)

"White Snake. Other popular bands of that time period were White Lion and Great White. Not so popular bands: White Poodle, Mediocre White, and Wally Blanco and the Albino Armadillos." - whiski_sour

"Whitesnake RULES !!" - ANONYMOUS

(Yeah, I'd probably post that anonymously too. -AL)

"I saw them live in 1994. It was brilliant! Right up to the point of us all passing out from hair-spray fumes, that is." - m31andy

"I'm ashamed to admit that I saw them in concert. Twice. One time was when they opened for Stryper." - hellziggy

"In the 80s, before political correctness because quite so pervasive, they were known as Whitesnake. On the current reunion tour, they're frequently referred to as Caucasiansnake." - kolys

"Does it still count as web cheating if you know it's Whitesnake and are geeky enough to look them up anyway 'cause you love Wikipedia? I just want to know because learning the band was named after Coverdale's penis and being able to share that with my fellow Quizlings is so worth the -50 points." - lovellama

(Normally, we totally frown on webcheating but that was a most worthy fact. Therefore we will only penalize you with a -49. -CV&AL)

"" - chokatobuttrfly

"I have that album. White Snake. 'Here I Go Again' a fun song to crank up while driving down the highway. Kind of has that glam mock-gospel aspect to it, with the organ music and the 'Oh, Lord I pray!' going on. A hymn to palm tree hair and getting a BJ by a supermodel in your convertible." - ginalin

Correct Answer: Whitesnake



5. In geometry, what is a surface containing all the straight lines that connect any two points on it?

"Motherfucka say what?" - shinga

"I didn't pay too much attention in geometry...presuming this is a geometry thing." - paradoxhorizon

(Based on the use of the word "geometry" in the question, I'm willing to entertain the notion that yes, this was indeed a geometry thing. -CV)

"I'm 99% convinced that I passed geometry because my teacher didn't want to put up with me ever again" - piney61

"" - elaran

"If it's just black and white, it's a plain plane. If you throw it up to the sky, it's an air plane. If it's a girl, it's a plane Jane." - elbiesee

"The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain." - judith_s

(+1, My Fair Lady. -CV)

"A lot of really, really straight snakes really, really close together make a plane!" - ilgreven

(And what happens if you have a lot of really really gay snakes close together? -CV)

"That's are really crappy definition of a plane." - hylarn

(It is. That's why I used it. -CV)

"'Da plane, boss! Da plane!' Which is how my math teacher always referred to it last year, thus greatly confusing everyone in my class. Eventually he gave up and explained where it came from, finishing with, 'It doesn't matter anyways, he's dead now.'" - aynisha

"That'd be a plane. You know what this means, right? The sequel is going to be ...

SNAKES! IN! SPAAAAACE!" - spatialrift47

"I first learned about planes as parts of cubes. So then I was thinking about snakes on a cube. A flying cube. And then I was thinking about snakes on a Borg cube. And then I was thinking 'We are the motherf***ing Borg. We have had it with this futile motherf***ing resistance!' Yeah, I think I'll stop thinking now." - flor_enojada

(For managing to integrate Star Trek with Snakes on a Plane, you have earned the Geek of the Week Award. We'll beam a -1 to you shortly. -CV)

"HOLY CRAP I JUST GOT THE THEME AND I USED IT IN MY FIRST ANSWER. *cries*" - fax_celestis

(I don't know how that is even remotely possible. -CV)

Correct Answer: Plane

"Rumour has it that it's also a tool which can be used to shave snakes into thin little slices." - wingedelf



6. OMG, OMG, OMG, have you seen Snakes on a Plane yet? If yes, what did you think? If no, what are you waiting for?

(WARNING: Difficult as it is to imagine, the following answers might contain spoilers for the three of you who have not yet experienced the cinematic wonder known as Snakes On A Plane. Therefore, if you are mindful of maintaining your unspoiled innocence, read no further until you have gotten your bad self hence to a theater and paid your dues. For the rest of you, answers follow forthwith. -AL&CV)

And
Lo,
It
Came
To
Pass
That
There
Was
A
Spoiler
Warning,
And
It
Was
Good
In
The
Eyes
Of
Yahweh,
To
Whom
The
Spoilage
Of
Movies,
Even
Snakes
On
A
Plane,
Is
An
Abomination.

Tittybong.

"cultish freaks. all of you." - thecolourclear

"Not yet... waiting for the torrent to finish!" - zastrazzi

"It only got released today, as I am still living in this backwater on the other side of the world. I could have caught a plane over to the US to watch it sooner, but I figured it wasn't worth the risk of snakes." - yak_boy

"Mostly, I'm waiting to con all my friends into seeing it with me. It's no fun to MST solo." - cmzero

"No Snakes on a Plane for me. I am waiting for actual snakes on an actual plane that I am actually flying in. I am sure that that will provide plenty of thrills, chills and cheezy one liners. Although it will probably not provide nearly enough Samuel L. Jackson." - chrysoberyl

"Need a motherfucking babysitter for the motherfucking kid." - wendynat

(I volunteer CV. -AL)

"OMG OMG OMG not yet. First I need to get those little bottles of booze and gummie snakes to bring with me so I can experience SoaP, not just watch it." - lovellama

(I do recommend being drunk when you see it. I was & it greatly enhanced the experience. -AL)

"Yes! Yes! Yes! It fuckin' rocked! Except the part with the cat, because it looked like my cat and so that was sad. But I didn't cry because I knew that Samuel L Jackson would get revenge on those fucking snakes for killing a cat that looked just like my Gabriel cat." - hellziggy

(I must have been pretty drunk, because I honestly don't remember a cat. -AL)

(In the cargo hold, there's a cat carrier, with a cat in it. The cat gets hit first. ROCK. -CV)

"It was the greatest cinematic experience ever. Everyone shouted The Line in unison with Sam, rubber snakes all over the place, it was like Rocky Horror, if Rocky Horror was made of awesome." - swampdweller

"I tell you what. They should do a musical version. If they have a musical version of Evil Dead, they should have one of Snakes on a Plane." - lyme

"No, I haven't seen Snakes on a Plane, and I have no intention of ever seeing Snakes on a plane. To quote Indiana Jones, 'I hate snakes.'" - miwseshat

"Nope. I'm waiting for 10 dollars to magicly appear in my wallet, and a good reason to sit in a chair for two and a half hours straight and do nothing. I'm a gamer, dammit, I don't want to watch Snakes on a plane, I want to be on that plane, fighting the snakes with a combat knife while trying to secure as many passengers as the AI would let me!" - dragonierzapp

"No.... See, aren't you in the least bit curious as to what the snakes are saying? Something like, 'WAHOO, I gets to slither all over Samuel L. Jackson's body, or something?' So, I don't think any viewing of SoAP will truly be complete until I've completed my study of Parseltongue, so I'm gonna wait until then." - arckyosuke

"When the elderly stewardess announces that 'this is my last flight,' she might as well be wearing a sign on her back that reads 'THIS OLD BITCH IS AS GOOD AS DEAD.'" - david_deacon

"I would sooner shave my head with a cheese grater. The producers must have incriminating photographs of him." - ANONYMOUS

"I saw a snake on a plane, once. It was in a lady's carry-on bag, its name was Sylvester and it did not bite anyone's willy. And that's all the snake on a plane I will ever need, thank you." - last_radio

"OH MY GODS IT WAS SO GOOD I NEARLY PEED MYSELF." - the_wanlorn

(If there's one thing the movie taught me, it's that a pissed-on snake becomes a pissed-off snake very quickly. -CV)

"Nope. I was at Pennsic. There are no movie theaters in the Current Middle Ages. There probably weren't any in the real Middle Ages either, one just had to mozy on down to the town square for the witch burnings and public executions." - darkeros

(You know, for everyone who said "I'm waiting for it to come out on DVD", we have to tell you - the film itself really sucks. It was the experience of seeing it at the theater with tons of other internet geeks that made it enjoyable. So we recommend you follow rikchik's example....)

"I'll see it in a friend's living room and everyone will be carrying on like monkeys, I'm sure. It'll be great." - rikchik

"I should. I just haven't gotten around to it what with packing up for school and all. You know what? Fuck school! Snakes on a Plane and LJDQ are far more important." - droptheleast622

(We should not, however, be encouraging this sort of behavior. -CV&AL)

"Not yet. But we're getting the entire herpetology lab together to go tomorrow. It's going to be a religious experience for us, especially if the rumors of an albino cobra are correct. My lab partner has also threatened to, and I quote, 'totally die if there's a reticulated python.'" - ccaretta

"No, I'm waiting for my time machine to arrive so I can go see it with CV last weekend like I should have instead of pissing the night away on videogames." - trishalynn

Correct Answer: "That movie delivers everything it promises!" - l33tminion


And there you have it: SNAKES ON A PLANE.

Right. Get it all out of your system here. Comment with all the Snakes On A Plane buggery you can think of. Unleash your inner Samuel L. Jackson on some metaphorical snakes. Hotlink every last SoaP site you can think of. Spam every pic ever made. Say everything you gotta say. Unleash your inner serpentine fury. After this, we're moving on to some other topical joke. No more Snakey-Planey. No more Planey-Snakey. It's like the O.J.Simpson trial- at some point you gotta move along. Let this be a purgative moment. Go look up purgative if you have to. It'll be healthy.

Thanks again for playing, special thanks to the many new players who tuned in (admittedly, solely for the purpose of hitting the Snake/Plane theme), and tune in tomorrow for more non-SoaP-related quizzy goodness.

Rock on,

AL&CV

Comments

[sawjockey.livejournal.com]

Serpentine fury is no match for Serpentine Fire.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Which in turn is dwarfed by a Turpentine Fire.

[sawjockey.livejournal.com]

But, Serpentine Fire has Earth,Wind and (non-serpentine) Fire in its corner.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I'm thinking Earth doesn't burn so well, and Wind can carry fire but sometimes puts it out. Whereas Turpentine... that shit burns. And it smells nasty to boot. Hell, you don't even need the fire part. STINKY!

[angledge.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I'm thinking Earth doesn't burn so well...

Coal?

Uranium?