ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 24 July 2006

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"Because some had to say it...'Et tu, DQ'?" -

shadowed_guise

The theme is two. Two is the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be two. One shalt thou not count to, unless thou proceedest directly to two. Three is right out, unless you are Lo Pan.

1. Who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984 for his work against apartheid?

"If the first question is who I think it is, the theme appears to be Nelsons, and if that's right, I'm surprised there aren't any questions about wrestling." -

moreteadk
"Nelson Mandela." - lots of you. Only one name comes to mind when you think of apartheid, eh?

"Sorry, I'm sitting here desperately trying to pronounce 'apartheid' with my mouth full of pop tart. Hehehehehe. Afarfffhithe." -

shinga

"Apartheid. Apartheiiiiiiiid. Apartheidddd. It sounds kind of like a part-tide. Like that icky time between low tide and high tide, where you can SEE the sandbar that goes to the lighthouse, but if you try to walk on it, your feet will get swamped." -

the_wanlorn

"The producer of “Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo” That movie signaled the end of apartheid in the US." -

stevenmallory04

"Apartheid makes me think of South Africa which is where the next world cup is going to held. I need to get out of world cup mode." -

shadowkeeper

(I want to go. We will have to hold an LJDQ Pub Crawl. -AL)

"I know it was a terrible time in history with much death and unpleasant racism, but the word 'apartheid' always makes me think of spiders." -

uberhero

(...how? -CV)

"A cleric called Tutu - why anyone would call their cleric Tutu is beyond me, but as long as he gives me some Cure Serious Wounds when I need it, I guess I won't laugh at his name.. *Snicker*" -

lukeii

"Desmond Tutu. Also known as 'Toot-toot-tootie' after his infamous 'party piece'. Oh, that Desi! You couldn't stop him from pulling out a ukulele and banging out a few tunes. Especially after he'd been drinking! Woah! Anyhow, that was actually his whole plan for peace. Just one big, non-stop party. Like Mardi Gras all the time." -

theninth

(This sounds a lot like my boss, who coincidentally is named Des. -AL)

(LJDQ Fun Fact:)
"...did you know the student union nightclub at Kings College London is named after him? There's a bust of his head above the door, and he even came for the grand opening!" -

prettypinkkitty

Correct Answer: Archbishop Desmond Tutu

"A strong message, a noble vision and a fun name." -

shadowed_guise

2. In what book did the last child of Ungoliant battle against a pair of Shire folk?

"As if the damn spider-horse references last week weren't bad enough..." -

deza

"Am I the only one who read that as unguent and thought 'I didn't know Preparation H had children'?" -

judith_s

"Ungoofus" -

kysen

(+1, Highlights. -CV)

"Are you there, God, it's me Margaret" -

naimhdearg

"Oh, that she-demon who could spin webs of darness and poison wells, the dreaded Ann Coulter." -

mcrunner03

(+1, picking on Ann Coulter. God I can't stand her. -AL)

"Trying to trip up people who only saw the movie?" -

spyderqueen,

kittycatness

(Yup. And you know something? It worked, too. -AL&CV)

"I have it on good authority that Clerks II claims 'there's only Return, and that's of the Jedi!'" -

thecuckoo

(Clerks II also affirmed that a donkey does, indeed, have a gigantic penis. -CV)

"I refuse to answer this question due to the fact that I may in fact know too much and then may be proclaimed 'geek of the week.'" -

chokatobuttrfly

(-1, failing to be geeky. -AL)

"It would really suck to be the last child of the Ungoliant. No others of your kind so no chance of any nookie, a bunch of miniature goofballs sticking their little swords in you... makes for a bad day." -

wendynat

"Unfinished Tales Part XXIV - after he (un)finished that one, there were about three more." -

elaran

"Has anyone noticed that in the LOTR movies, Orthnac, Saruman's half of the Two Towers, looks exactly like a middle finger? I mean, if the guy's house is flipping you off, how exactly did you miss the fact that he'll turn evil?" -

nirejseki

(Hey, I flip people off all the time & I'm not evil. -AL)

(*cough* *snigger* *snort* -CV)

Correct Answer: The Two Towers

3. Jane Grey, the Nine Day Queen, was a member of which British dynasty?

(The number of X-Men related answers was truly off the scale. No more comics for you all- you're cut off. -CV)

"The Izzard dynasty. It has produced some of England's greatest Queens." -

beccak1961

"Jane Grey was mother to Freddie Mercury, frontman for the legendary rock band Queen." -

thepikey

"There was a British Dynasty? Was it as bad as the American Whose Line is it Anyway?" -

lustforlike

"Is this like William Henry Harrison? The few week president?" -

shadowkeeper,

diefbaby

"Married to Earl Grey, I assume?" -

mcrunner03

"This sounds like a reality show. 'Queen for Nine Days!' On Bravo this Fall!" -

thecuckoo

"She was only queen for 9 days? I though that she was the Henry 8th wife that died. (Of natural causes...after bearing a son...) I guess that my Tudor history just didn't stick. Really what I remember about Tudors is the daub and waddle architecture... That's not really what it's called is it?" -

chrysoberyl

(As always, I have NO IDEA what you're talking about. -CV)

"She was crowned in a pub in the town where I live! There's a plaque and everything. The pub's still there - some very good ales, although the toilets have the most appalling muzak." -

jonem

"The Tudors, best known for having a family tree that proves that European royalty tolerate marital alliances that most mink breeders would eschew." -

tall_man

"Tudor. I know because one of my favorite "kid's books" was about her, and totally ended with her getting beheaded. Man, was that a bloody book. So many people had died by the end..." -

alexmegami

"Tudor. The Protestants were glad for nine more days of rest before Bloody Mary took control." -

rorylareina

"Musta been Tudor. If she was a Fordor, she'd be a sedan." -

motown_deserter

Correct Answer: The Tudors

4. What rapper released an album (written and produced in seven days) using the pseudonym "Makaveli"?

"What? Rap? What? What is that? Is that the new-fangled music where you just talk really fast? HEY YOU DARNED KIDS, GET OFF MAH LAWN!" -

the_wanlorn

"Is 'written and produced in seven days' meant to impress me? It just makes me fear what horrible travesties have been committed against music and the English language. I can already see the crime against Italian Renaissance Philosophy." -

yak_boy

"Seven days? I can't even finish a Super Mario game in seven days. What the fuck kind of candy-ass rap is being put out these days?" -

lots42

"I'm talking about motherfucking Falco and shit. Rock me, Amadeus!" -

jrho

"The Artist Formerly Known as 'The Prince.'" -

silk_knickers,

umbralcorax
"The Fresh Prince of Bel Air." -

newbia

"I don't know about the rapper, but I'm offended on behalf of all history geeks. I'd be offended on behalf of scheming, cynical Italian job applicants, but I'm not Italian." -

nirejseki

"Tupac, who released that album at the end of his 'pre-posthumous' -- also known as 'not dead yet' -- stage. I mean, seriously, the guy's released more records dead than alive!" -

tall_man
"It's like.. a rich, rap zombie thing." -

chokatobuttrfly

"Alex I'll take 'Murdered Rap Star Cases in Las Vegas that CSI cannot solve for $400'" -

southbucki

"Tu pac or not tu pac: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The dots and cherries of outrageous ghost men,
Or to take quarters against a sea of arcades,
And by opposing lose them. To stop: to quit;
No more; and by a quit to say we end
The fighting, and the thousand natural scores
That game is heir to, 'tis an abdication
Devoutly to be wish'd. To stop, to quit;
To quit: perchance to lose: aye, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of OFF what losses may come,
When we have shuffled off this arcade game,
Must give us pause ... " -

spatialrift47

Correct Answer: Tupac Amaru Shakur

"What do you get when you spell Tupac backwards? 'Caput'" -

kysen

5. What musical instrument became the successor to the ophicleide?

"I'm envisioning a psychedelic combination of a xylophone and a kaleidoscope. Very groovy." -

mezzolibra

"dammit i was trying to think of something clever about tubas and i got that damn '76 trombones' song stuck in my head. curse you ljdq!!" -

slanciante

"My toes are sparkly." -

wolffepsyche

(And this week's

ljdq Non Sequitur Award goes to...

wolffepsyche! -CV)

"This one time, at band camp..." -

mcrunner03,

vyseryn,

xphilega

(I am concerned about the size of your orifices. -CV)

"When I was bad, my father would tell my long-distance Grandma that I wanted to listen to her play her clarinet. She'd keep me on the phone for an hour, squeaking and squawking. It was the most agonizing form of torture I can imagine that didn't involve actual pain." -

wendynat

"I misread that as Ophelicide. I feel this should lead to a good Hamlet joke but it is late and I am tired and -- ooh, beer!" -

heyorion

"The Oedipeide. It makes music by gently engaging in primal intercourse with its mother." -

woap

"The millipeide. The ultimate in one-man-band instruments." -

fizrep

"biphicleide, similar to the bicycle, but said with a lisp and able to make music." -

chrysoberyl

"The prefix 'ophi-' means serpent. 'Cleide' sounds like 'clad', which means 'dressed'. This makes it a trouser snake. Therefore, I say the instrument in question is the skinflute." -

thepikey

"I figured out the answer to this based on the theme, but Wikicheated anyway because I had to see what an ophicleide looked like. Wikipedia tells me that the name means 'keyed serpent.' It's snakes on a motherfucking tuba!" -

soimpossible414

"Ophicleide seems to have the same root as ophidophobia (fear of snakes) and Ophiuchus (the Serpent-Bearer), so I'm going to go with this thing:
I foresee an LJDQ Snakes on a Plane outing. It should happen.

I foresee an LJDQ Snakes on a Plane outing. It should happen.

" -

photosinensis
"Did you know that the ophicleide itself replaced the serpent horn in many bands?" -

glowsheep

(Number of people who used more than 5 u's in tuba: 8. -CV)
"It's even better if you say it like a foghorn." -

eris779

"It's not a tuba." -

silk_knickers,

motown_deserter

(+1, Kindergarden Cop. -CV)

Correct Answer: Tuba

6. What do you wish you had two of?

"Shouldn't it be 'Of what do you wish you had two?'" -

droptheleash622

(That it should... but I file the "don't end sentences with prepositions" rule under my list of Stupid Rules No One Should Pay Attention To. Right after "Thou shalt not kill." What kind of dumb rule is that anyway? -CV)

"[insert monetary amount here]" - 30 scrooges
"[insert naughty bits here]" - 9 perverts
"[insert self-replication and subsequent clonecest here]" - eeeeeewwwww

"I have two eyes, two ears, two hands, two feet, two boobies, two parents, two cats, and two wonderful LJDQ mods. I think I'm covered." -

marasca

(Awwwww... -AL&CV)

"Bottles of gin. Or vodka." -

prettypinkkitty
"Two lifetime supplies of pudding. Yes, I need TWO." -

chokatobuttrfly
"I could do with two bottles of gin, but I'll settle for two boxes of pudding." -

etumukutenyak

"Ninja cactus pork!" -

mistyraven

(...quoi? -CV)

"Two LJDQ's every week instead of one." -

spatialrift47,

drbear,

cmseward,

lukeii

(You're killing us here... -AL&CV)

"I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man." -

mcrunner03
"Actually, I'd settle for one." -

yak_boy

"Front Teeth. Hey wait, I do. Yay me. In your face singing, gap-mouthed christmas girl! Santa loves me more than you!" -

shadowed_guise

"Helicopters. That way I wouldn't always be stealing one and I'd always have an extra, just in case." -

whiski_sour

" Zounds, what mounds!

" -

david_deacon

(The arrow points to the CN Tower. You want two of those? Is there some giant space vampire that you need to impale? -CV)

"I'll need two of these:
The Force is strong with you. In my pants.

The Force is strong with you. In my pants.

I only need two because I think that one guy in the background would fight me for the first one, and he could probably kick my ass." -

wendynat

"Right now, Cold Stone Creamery ice cream coupons. It's been like 100+ plus degrees every day this week. I WANT ICE CREAM, DAMMIT!" -

deza

"Lives, like a cheaper version of a cat. Or Jesus. Or a few lucky bastards that Jesus decided to resurrect." -

mcclintock

"I wish I had a pair of penguins. Then I could totally throw them at people. And be like 'Yo, I hit you in the face with a penquin, bitch. OOH... WHAT NOW?'." -

kittycatness

7. BONUS! Other than ljdq, what are your two favorite communities?

(First off, the tallies:)

metaquotes: 25

mock_the_stupid: 10

customers_suck: 8

bad_sex: 4

grammarpolice: 3

userpics: 3

ohnotheydidnt: 3

fanficrants: 2

livequotes: 2

library_mofo: 2

statements: 2

wtf_inc: 2

(There were many other single shots that were interesting, and folks can post their own choices below. Let this be community pimping week here. -CV)

"There is no other community. There is only

ljdq." -

saramund

(Thank you, Zuul. -CV)

"I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that I can't do the cool little link to the community tag, and am too lazy to look it up." -

zaure

"I like communities that allow me to have ponies!" -

piney61

"Well I'm thinking of starting one up called ljdqfanclub. how about angledgeishot?" -

elaran

"

random_facts is entertainingly informative. Did you know that coconuts kill more people in the world than sharks do. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts..." -

jonem

"

metaquotes and

puns (just for Ang)." -

cmseward

"

mathematics and

polyamory. What? Numbers and graphs and relations, oh my!" -

potassiumman

"the community of Hot Sorority Babes Who Love MIddle Aged Guys With No Money" -

motown_deserter

(Let me know when you find that one. -CV)

"The gay community and the straight community. Hey, I'm bisexual. It's like open season either way, man." -

whiski_sour

Correct Answer: Well, there is no real correct answer, but it's no secret that most of you came here via metaquotes, so there you have it.

And with that we close our grandiose two-year anniversary. I did indeed drink gin and have some bastard mockery of a pudding. Tomorrow a third year dawns on us, brighter than before, and hopefully full of fun and sinning. Or pun and ginning. Whatever.

Thanks again for playing, share the wealth with your friends, and see you all tomorrow!

Rock on,

AL&CV