ljdq | LJ Daily Answers, 20 March 2006.

Good morning, dear Quizlings! Hopefully you have all recovered from whatever shennanigans you got up to on Friday night to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. And that holiday was indeed the obvious source of our theme.

1. Which ancient goddess did Cúchulainn see washing his armor in a ford, thus predicting his death in battle?

"Is 'washing his armor' a euphemism for something dirty? If not, it should be!" -

azure_dragon

"What the hell kind of lameass goddess does other people's washing for them? No wonder she's only worshipped by Magic-card-loving hippie freaks these days." -

marasca

"How come female goddesses have to wash things? What kind of messed up discrimination is THAT? Uranus gets to spooge over the sky, and this chick has to wash armor." -

wendynat

(Trust me, if the goddess in question is upset about washing armor, she is more than able to do something about it. She's no wussy housewife goddess, is what I'm sayin'. -AL)

"I want a goddess to to my laundry. What did Cuchulainn have that I don't? Oh...right...the Gae Bulga. That sounds like an overly optimistic homosexual man. Moving on..." -

hippiedancer

"I washed my socks today. Does that mean anything?" -

stormyskies

"Didn't he lose strength because somebody served him dog meat? Forget signs and portents; you won't really do well in battle if your last meal was Rover paté." -

thecuckoo

(Yes, he ate dog meat, which broke one of his personal taboos. +1 for extra mytholoknowledge. -AL)

"You know who really killed Cúchulainn? Probably the IRA. If there's a terrorist organization that would kill its own country's hero, it's the IRA. I mean, al Qaeda blows up stuff in other people's countries; the IRA blows up Irish buses, Irish establishments, Irish pubs...heck, they spent Easter Week 1916 blowing up Dublin, just to keep the British out. We suck at terrorism." -

silent_r_infork

"Fords come equipped with laundry machines nowadays? No wonder GM is losing market share." -

zihuatanejo

"Hmmm... Ford... death... why it must be Pinto." -

pheltzer

"Pop the clutch, Morrigan!" -

raspberryfixx

Correct Answer: The Mórrígan.

"closely - but yet not - related to the Morri-go-round." -

nirejseki

2. What body of water is connected to the Atlantic Ocean by St. George's Channel to the south and by the North Channel to the north-east?

(Dear Everybody, Contrary to all your hopes and desires, the body of water in question is not composed of Guinness, Baileys, or any other alcoholic beverage. Sorry. -CV&AL)

"Why is water, something fluid and motive, referred to as a body, something solid and not at all likely to fit neatly into a flask. Unless you have a large blender handy..." -

azure_dragon

"I don't know nothing about geography, but one and one is two." -

beccak1961

"What body of water? Um...the hipbone which is connected to the....femur maybe? I forget these days...I suck at bones" -

piney61

"I was thinking the English Channel, but can a channel really be connected to the ocean by two other channels? I always figured that channels were like the stick bits in Tinker Toys that connect the round hubs together. You can't connect a stick directly to a stick, can you?" -

marasca

(Don't impose your preconceived notions of sexuality onto the Tinker Toys, missy. If the stick wants another stick, let it be. -CV)

"It was thought that Nessie had a twin in Lake Erie, but it turned out to be Queen Latifah." -

dhud98

"Lake Titicaca. Which I know isn't the right answer, not even the right continent, but 'titicaca' is so much fun to say when you have the maturity level of a 13 year old boy." -

lyme

(True. Full credit. -CV)

"The Weather Channel. Last night, I was dancing around in my underwear to the funky music they play. It was surprisingly fun." -

lucymalfoy

"When going from England to N Ireland, I had to ride in the big 'Carnival Cruise' ferry. Normally, I am quite fine on boats or ships. And i thought that even though the waves were 15+ feet, i would still be fine... Nope. My shephard's pie decorated the inside of my berth and sadly enough, smelled the same as it did before." -

raspberryfixx

"Actually, it's not water. Originally, this area was just a big crevasse, and then a bunch of Irish guys got drunk and peed in it." -

silent_r_infork

"Irish Channel? Thought this would be more like the Lifestyle Channel with 'How to Drink', 'How to Recover from Drinking', 'It's Easy Being Green', and 'Leprechaun Hunter' as the shows it would have." -

ntlespino

"The St. George is connected to the - Irish Sea and the - North Channel's connected to the - Irish Sea, and the whole mess is connected to the - Atlantic Ocean, now hear the words of the Lord." -

csflick

(Sing along, everybody! -AL)

"The Irish Sea. Not advised for crossing by boat if you are easily made seasick. If you like laughing at your mother turning steadily more and more green, then go for it. Eventually she'll start cursing in gaelic and you'll laugh even more." -

liseuse

Correct Answer: The Irish Sea.

3. According to legend, who is responsible for driving all of the snakes out of Ireland?

"Snakes... why did it have to be snakes?" -

hybridutensil,

ladyiapetus

(+1, Indiana Jones. -AL)

"Samuel Jackson. He herded them onto a plane, and now they made a movie out of it." -

germankitty, speaking for many

(A while back,

jmspencer's LJ featured a fantastic post regarding this movie. -AL)

"Donald Trump. He invited them all to be on his TV show where only one snake gets to be the Apprentice. The rest just crawl back under their rocks." -

beccak1961

"Cobra Commander. Sure, he wanted to use them for evil, but when you've got 100% less snakes falling from the trees onto your head, are you really going to question it? I don't think so." -

seraphic_slayer

"I'd say my mother's side of the family, because most of them hate snakes, but they also like their booze, so I'm guessing my family didn't get a lot done. They ran out of cranberry juice to mix with their vodka, so they ended up soaking cranberry bread in vodka and eating it." -

stormyskies

"Medusa, but I heard they Christianized her after the ancient Gods fell from favor." -

calankh

"How did that achievement warrant getting blotters on Guiness?" -

zihuatanejo

(Well, the snake was the villain of the book of Genesis, so driving away all the snakes was a metaphor for the redemption of Genesis, making it no longer planet forbidden, and Guinness was the beer created to celebrate that, since the Irish can't possibly spell anything exactly the way it sounds, and... -CV)

*THWAP*

(shut up Shut Up SHUT UP! -AL)

"The Pied Bagpiper, who was then himself driven out. Because, well, bagpipes, y'all." -

elbiesee

"That would be Jebediah Springfield, whose mighty triumph over the snakes is now celebrated on Whacking Day. Originally believed to have started in May of 1775, it has eventually come to light that Whacking Day was, in fact, started in the 1920's as an excuse to beat up the Irish. In a related note, apparently Barry White likes to hump snakes." -

malhablada, efficiently summing up a classic episode of The Simpsons

"There are still trouser snakes in Ireland." -

photosinensis

(That's good to know, I guess. -AL)

"All the Snakes were killed in drunk driving accidents. There are few things as sad as a snake with a spinal injury." -

tarpo

(LJDQ Wildlife Management Tip:)
"St. Patrick. In one version of the story, he tells them all to go into a big hole and that they can come out tomorrow, and every so often a snake sticks its head out of the hole and asks if it's tomorrow yet, so it's vitally important to tell any talking snake you see in Ireland, 'No, it's still today.'" -

maeritrae

"He said, 'Jump in the back, let's go to Amsterdam!' The snakes said, 'hell yeah' so now, no snakes in Ireland." -

rikchik

Correct Answer: Saint Patrick

"I'm still bitterly disappointed and rooting for the snakes." -

cjtremlett

4. What was the name of the lottery, which ran from 1930 through 1987, whose winner was determined by the outcome of several horse races?

"I misread that as 'sexual horse races'." -

azure_dragon

"I just realized that one of my nostrils is bigger than the other. Why am I such a freak?" -

wendynat

(And this week's

ljdq Freaky Nose Award goes to...

wendynat! -CV)

"There's a Sarah Jessica Parker joke in here somewhere." -

bigredcandle

(Yes. Yes there is. +1 for you. -CV)

"I am now humming 'Fugue for Tinhorns' and CANNOT STOP. Evil 'Guys and Dolls.' Cruel mods for making me remember." -

thecuckoo

"The Elmers Glue 'Who wants to go in the bottle' Sweepstakes" -

tarpo

(BWAHAHAH. If I had my way, ALL horses would end up in the bottle! Four-legged fiends. -AL)

"Lottery as in 'Whoohoo! I'm a millionaire!' or lottery as in 'Oh noes, I get to be stoned to death. Woe'?" -

whiski_sour
"Shirley Jackson's 'The Lottery' where the lucky winner gets stoned, and not in the good, too much Gin and other Herbal Supplement ways." -

pheltzer,

beccak1961,

renee12321,

marilyth
"I always think of that creepyass short story 'The Lottery,' and I never want to play a lottery." -

kokopellinelli

(True story: We did this play centuries ago when I was in high school. The "winner" was a girl with what Monty Python once referred to as "huge tracts of land". At the end, we pelted her with papier-mache rocks. On performance night I landed what might be called a "direct hit." My later argument of "What? How could I not hit them?" did not go over too well. And thus ended my career in theatre. -CV)

"I got an email from them the other day saying I'd won six million dollars. Did you know they're based in Nigeria nowadays?" -

maggiebloome

"The Lucky Charms Lottery. Depending on which horse won, you either won a heart, moon, star, clover, diamond, or horseshoe shaped pendant." -

naimhdearg

"The Belmont Steaks. It was well done, with a three peppercorn sauce, some roasemary and garlic baby red roasted potatoes, and a good glass of Chateau De Chasselas" -

vyseryn

"In Robert A. Heinlein's 'Glory Road', the main character buys a lottery ticket in the Irish Sweepstakes. Doesn't have much to do with the plot, but that's the only reason that I know what you're referring to." -

greenmansgrove

"The Irish Hospitals Swwepstakes. Because the best way to get Irish men into hospital is to let them win the sweepstake, get drunk and start a fight, or lose the sweepstake, get drunk and start a fight." -

liseuse

Correct Answer: The Irish (Hospital) Sweepstakes.

5. Phytophthora infestans helped to indirectly kill over half a million people in the 1840's. How?

"Turning lovely potential ~~French~~ freedom fries into putrid bags of black slime. And the Americans wept for the lack of delicious fattening junk with which to clog their arteries and increase the national average waist size. The emo was so bad that over half a million people spontaneously imploded with angst." -

cougarfang

"They tried to pronounce the disease and died while still trying to sound out the damn words... phytophthoraahdohad indeed, is this what The Artist Formerly Known as Prince is changing his name to next?" -

beccak1961

"'He died from his own tongue being tied in a knot. That's sixteen people this week.'
'Oh, curse this Phy-phyt-phytog-euuurgh..'
*THUD*
'Seventeen.'" -

puredeadthingy

"What's taters, precious?" -

thecuckoo

(PO-TAY-TOES. -CV)

"It sat us up the bomb." -

uncut_diamond

"By turning Guiness into plain water, thereby causing Irishmen's livers to go into a severe sulk, causing death to the poor sod who just wanted a wee pint." -

fiberaddict

(Atrocious! -AL)

"The Irish Potato Famine, which led many Irish to the highways of California, looking for 'CHiPs.'" -

drbear

(PUN HATE! -AL)

"AAH! Split infinitive!" -

ecarrotsushi

(MORE HATE! You know something, I think I now hate all the $#%&@! grammar Nazis more than I hate puns. Quite a %*#@$!& accomplishment! So here's a ~~-5,000~~(chiiiill, -10 -CV) & a %&#*@$! one-fingered salute to all y'all. And that goes for !%$#&@! everyone who complained about the wording of Question One, too! SHUT THE #%$&@! UP! -AL)

*stunned silence*

(Perhaps a bit less whisky for my co-mod, yes? -CV)

"Freaky bugs -> Potato Famine -> immigration of about a million Irish families to the States -> Americans look up and go 'HEY! New holiday! Let's drink!' -> green beer." -

timba

"Dan Quayle tells me that it was the cause of the Potatoe Famine." -

photosinensis

(+1, old school political joke. I wonder what percentage of the Quizlings are too young to remember Dan Quayle. -AL)

"By killing the potato crop in Ireland, and thereby forcing the population of Ireland to rely on corned beef and cabbage for sustenance. A diet of that stuff will kill anyone." -

hardly_angelic

"It caused the potato blight, sending millions of potatoes fleeing for the suburbs." -

drjayphd

Correct Answer: by causing the Irish Potato Famine.

"Maybe if they had some pudding they could have avoided all that." -

buzz

6. Tell us about your ancestry. If you're a clone, fake it.

"My now deceased aunt says that I'm a descendant by adultery of some English king. But, lets face it, anybody with even an ounce of ancestry from the Isles is probably related to some king there or another. Luckily, I'm mostly German and Austrian and I get to be related to Vienna sausages!" -

fizrep

"Irish to the core. Can trace back on paper as few as are actually possible in this country, what with our records being burnt in the Customs House fire by those stalwart ~~idiots~~ patriots, the IRA." -

wyvernfriend

"English/French Hugenot/Irish on Mom's side, Pomeranian through Germany on Dad's side. I'm pretty sure I'm lucky not to be a little yappy dog." -

lusciousmango

"English, Irish, Scots, Welsh... And Norwegian. Clearly, each of those societies could get along with another. At least occasionally. Well, at least long enough to get drunk at one point or another and have angry sex." -

greenmansgrove

(You're living proof of that. Literally. -AL)

"I'm more or less a mutt, which is a very American thing to be." -

rikchik

(Very true! -AL)

"I will NOT fake it! I'm proud to be a clone, I'm proud to have been grown in a petri dish, and this antisynthetism WILL *NOT* BE TOLERATED! Damn bigots." -

seraphic_slayer

"My dad's family is German, my mom's is Polish. I could make a joke about invasions, but then I'd have to think about my parents having sex." -

lyme

"I'm part Viking, part Angle, part Welsh and a smidgen 'Ancient Reindeer hunter who moved into Britain about the time of the last ice age'. Pretty much like everyone else from my area of England." -

m31andy

"50% austrian, 50% lithuanian, 100% guilt-ridden jew." -

skfromstamford

"Well, as you may know. We're all descended from aliens, and there is an alien living inside of each of us. In order to assuage the problem, we must join the Church of Scientology...uhh. I mean...time to eat now." -

droptheleash622

(We can't eat! Chef quit! -AL)

"I have the most boring family history.. we weren't persecuted or overly poor or escaping communism or anything.. as far as I can tell my family were hanging around Ireland or Scotland or something and decided they wanted the atlantic ocean on the right side instead of the left.. It was easier to move than to dig out Europe.. so off to Newfoundland they went." -

tarpo

"I'm Frapanirish. All the bad traits of Japanese, French and Irish rolled into one smelly, snobby, short, nerdy, soon-to-be-drunk human being." -

thomas_small

"My mommy says I'm not a clone. I'm not sure I believe her. You see, I keep running into people who are sure they know me from somewhere, and we've never been in the same place before we run into each other. Obviously my mommy is part of a conspiracy to hide a clone army of not-quite-blond women with bad knees." -

sskipstress

"Don't believe anything

sskipstress says. She was not a clone, I, her nearest ancestor, know that for sure. Her ancestry is of the Heinz 57 variety, almost."

"I'm one-quarter Whippet, one-quarter German Shepherd, one-quarter beagle and one-quarter Sheltie." -

david_deacon

(What did we say? NO FURRY STORIES. -AL)

As for

angledge, she's of Scottish descent for the most part. Some Scotch-Irish for a slight variation.

chaosvizier's bloodlines are a bit more complicated. Happily, we both inherited the capacity to drink vast quantities of hard liquor - & in the final analysis, that's all that we care about. See you tomorrow!

Rock on,

CV&AL.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: In Gowan Ring

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

thepikey.livejournal.com

Aha! He wasn't fed dog meat, he was fed otter. Known as river dog to the back in the day Celts!

From:

chaosvizier.livejournal.com

Arrrr, ya scurvy sea dogs! I'll keelhaul the lot o'ye! Especially the irish ones. Arrrr.

OH NOES

From:

angledge.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-03-20 07:30 pm (UTC) - Expand

Re: OH NOES

From:

chaosvizier.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-03-21 09:12 am (UTC) - Expand

Re: OH NOES

From:

thepikey.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-03-21 10:59 am (UTC) - Expand

From:

sphynxlike.livejournal.com

*weeps* HOW did I miss the quiz? I bring the funny about Irish stuff all the time :P And I wish I could say it was because I was celebrating...d'you know I'll graduate (college) before turning 21?

From:

songquake.livejournal.com

see, i submitted and all, thinking i had teh funneh, but clearly i was mistaken. the rest of the gang is much funnier than i am.

sigh. guess there's always next week.

Though named daily, it is weekly. Behold the first mystery.

LJ Daily Answers, 20 March 2006.

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