ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 13 February 2006

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria." -

pheltzer

"This morning, LJDQ went to the cats. This evening, the fortune in my cookie at dinner said, 'To lower your stress level, get a cat.' Conclusion: LJDQ has now infiltrated the country's fortune-cookie factories. I'm scared." -

babybokal

"I was describing LJDQ to my sister earlier and she almost had me convinced that you mods were using us as part of a top secret experiment based on the Behavioural approach and Operant conditioning." -

ketaki

Hmm, someone's on to us. Release the hounds!

1. Which British pop singer/songwriter converted to Islam in 1978 and changed his name to Yusuf Islam?

"I have a pencil. My pencil is yellow." -

vyseryn

(Excellent answer. Next time write it in Arabic. -CV)

"IN SOVIET RUSSIA, ISLAM SUF YOU!" -

mistyraven

(I never saw it coming. -CV)

"Sting the Muslim cat!" -

soimpossible414

"Madonna? No, wait, she's Jewish this week." -

popehippo

"I misread that as 'Smurf Islam' and started pondering a Muslim Smurf. Then I wondered if 'Smurf' could be replacing a dirty word and if you were suddenly spouting anti-Islam hate. Then I remembered that LJDQ is LOVE and stopped caring about the question." -

woap

"Isn't Yusuf a Jewish name? He's gonna get beat up on the madrasas playground, that's for damn sure…" -

lovellama

"Didn't he sing a song about leaving on a jet plane?" -

uncut_diamond

(No, I think you're thinking of John Denver, who wanted to go into space. I believe neither gentleman was successful. -CV)

"The guy who wrote the soundtrack to Harold and Maude was considered dangerous to planes. There's just something amusing in that." -

whiski_sour

(Yeah. If anything they should ground James Taylor. "Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground"? Fucking terrorist. -CV)

"if you make fun of him, Denmark will suffer." -

lots42

"Cat Stevens, more famously known for being the announcer on Hollywood Squares." -

chaoticasylum

(You might be thinking of someone else... -CV)

"Cat 'I couldn't think of a cool Muslim surname' Stevens" - scads of you
"WHat was his name beforehand, Joseph Christian?" -

arib

"Cat in the Turban" -

renee12321
"Cat Stevens. He is not a real cat, contrary to what my cousin told me when I was seven." -

larinzia

"nothing says 'terrorist threat' like Cat Stevens. Except pretty much everything else." -

ishtar79

"Cat Stevens who is still friggin awesome even though 'Father and Son' makes me cry like the little bitch I am" -

piney61

"I saw a music video of his for 'Father and Son' a couple years ago. I was watching with my dad and said 'huh, I didn't know Neil Gaiman could sing.' I will never live that one down." -

morganashkevron

"the Grand Master of Shitty Easy Listening Music, Cat Stevens." -

jessicamariek

"Cat Stevens! Who dated Carly Simon, who sang the theme tune to Working Girl, which starred Melanie Griffith, who's married to Antonio Banderas, who starred in Shrek 2, which co-starred John Cleese, who was in The Big Picture with KEVIN BACON!" -

jonem

Correct Answer: Stephen Demetre Georgiou, aka Cat Stevens

2. Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt, and Lee Meriweather have all played which DC comics character?

(The amount of Halle Berry non-love this answer generated was staggering. Most notably...)

"Catwoman, and all a darned sight better than Halle Berry did. Mind you, a block of Wensleydale cheese could have done a better job. Except it would have looked far less sexy in a catsuit. Bollocks." -

setting_sun

(Mmmmmm, Wensleydale... -CV)

"I'd pay good money to see Julie Newmar bitchslap her." -

ishtar79

(I'd pay good money to see Julie Newmar do a lot of things. -CV)

"The Magical Mr. Mestopholes." -

colelynne
"Pussy Galore" -

saramund

(No, but good tries. -CV)

"Batman. No wait, that list would have listed pussies like Val Kilmer, Micheal Keaton, George Clooney..." -

southbucki

"I used to have a secret fantasy of one day fitting into one of those sexy leather numbers and scaring the socks off my neighbours one day. Although, the sight of me in a leather cat suit would scare the socks off of anyone really!" -

ketaki

"Cartwoman" -

merepoonts

(I don't know if this is a typo or deliberate, but +1 either way. -CV)

"Why do we even have that lever??" -

flakygoddess
"You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. Then I'm going to put the flea into a box, and then put that box into another box and mail it to myself! And when it arrives I'll HAHAHAHAHA! SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!" -

buzz,

morganashkevron

(+1, The Emperor's New Groove. In which, as

kokopellinelli points out, Eartha Kitt's character changes into a kitten. -CV)

"You include Eartha Kitt but not Michelle Pfeiffer? You have a chance to provide pleasant memories but instead terrorize us. Shame. Shame." -

stevenmallory04
"I'm still scarred by the scene from Boomerang with the former catwoman's striptease. Oh, GOD you made me envision it again! *scratches out own eyes*" -

wendynat
"Swamp Thing. Eartha Kitt needed no makeup for the part, only a 4 AM wakeup call." -

dazeydevyne
"Attention LJDQ: I still want to have sex with Eartha Kitt's voice, just not her." -

halo4

"The scene in Batman Returns where the cats eat michelle pfeiffer scarred me for life. And then when the penguin bites off that guy's nose. I cant watch that film ever again." -

allieg

"Meriweather... sounds like a name out of a Bond movie. 'Why hello there Ms. Meriweather, isn't it a nice day for a quickie?'" -

faustian

"They were members of the League of Stacked Altos." -

drbear

"They've got more legs than a bucket of chicken..." -

vyseryn,

duia,

jenny_1981,

fruitoftheloon,

hthottie

(+1, To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar. -CV)

"Further proof men will only go to the cinema for explosions and and tight clothing." -

puredeadthingy

(Well DUH. -CV)

"I never did understand the appeal of Catwoman. Is it, like, she reaches out to one's inner furry or something?" -

sufi87

"I want to try to microwave a cat to make it radioactive, and then let it bite me, because then it would give me super-powers like a cat's! I've only gotten the biting part down so far, mainly because we only have a toaster oven..." -

mistyraven

Correct Answer: Catwoman

"nothing like those anime catgirls though." -

caits_cheverst

3. What was the first book that Theodore Geisel published?

'I don't know, I don't read books. If it's not bacon or sport then I'm not interested." -

setting_sun

"This is the Curious George got they found dead in the trash is it? If not, can I make my 'Curious George Goes to the Dumpster' joke now?" -

fizrep

(You're thinking H.A. Rey, but have a +1 for tastelessness anyway. -CV)

"Famous Waterspouts of the World in Fifteen Minutes"? -

maggiebloome

("Absolutely gushing!" Theodore Geiser was reported to have remarked afterwards... -CV)

"Geis and Dolls? Oh wait, that was a musical. The Fall Gei? No, that was a movie. Aha! It was an autobiography of Gei Fawkes! How silly of me." -

jonem

(I hate all of you. -AL)

"Theodore Geisel?...ya' mean Theodore Geisel Seuss?" -

fmh

(No, I mean Theodore Seuss Geisel. -C)

"anapestic tetrameter is hot." -

thechinesecurse

"Is he the guy who writes those annoying 'the cat who' books? Or was that author a woman?" -

lyme

(Well, Robert A. Heinlein wrote "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls". I can't comment on how annoying the book was, but I'm pretty sure he was not a woman. -CV)

"it's against the law to frown in the Rat in Spats' town." -

deltashade

"Oh, the Kittens You'll Gut" -

flakygoddess

"Dogs are from the Toilet, Cats are from the Water Bowl." -

drbear

"Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats." -

rhapsody_iv

"A Detailed Examination of the Theological Impact of Post-Modern Feminism on the Ecclesiastical History of Eastern Europe. Now with Cats!" -

crystalcazzie

"Cat in the Hat! What a thinly veiled story about not letting strangers in your house..." -

renee12321

"The Cat in the Hat was written after a dare that Giesel couldn't recreate War and Peace in a childrens book. They were right. He couldn't." -

the_zaniak

"The Cat in the Hat. I love the Tweedle Beetles. When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles, they call THIS a muddle puddle tweedle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle." -

schizospider

(Alas, wrong twice. Not the Cat In The Hat, and even if it were, Tweedle Beetles were in Fox In Socks. -CV)

"The cat in the hat. Incidentally, the hat in question, given its red-and-white color, funny shape, and frequent separatism, is an allegory for America's own silly hat, Canada." -

birdboy2000

"A little-known fact is that Dr. Seuss actually published his first book when he was just a teenager, going through an angsty emo poetry phase.

'I do not like black eggs and ham!
They claw at my soul
Shedding crimson tears of agony
As crows gnaw at my withered toes.
I do not like them, Sam I Am!'" -

newbia

Correct Answer: "And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street"

(That's right, it's not "The Cat In The Hat". Oh trickery, you are so sweet and tasty to me. Oh, and to the eight of you who got it right, I'm calling webcheating on at least six of you anyway. For the next seventy-two hours, everything you say must be in rhyme. Everything. -CV)

4. What substance is used to make both violin strings and surgical sutures?

(Many of you pointed out that catgut is not actually made from the intestines of felines. Many others of you were unaware of this but will probably be relieved to hear it...)

"I'm really, really trying not to think of how it got its name. REALLY. *squinches eyes* Happy thoughts... happy thoughts... puppies, ice cream, fat people falling over..." -

grey_wolf4
"I think I'd rather have the maggots, actually." -

rosewilliams

"Probably something high-tech and utterly artificial. But if you must use catgut, suture self." -

shmuel
"Polymer wanna cracker?" -

thechinesecurse

(+1 for punnery. -C)
(-1 for punnery. -AL)
(I SAID, +1 for punnery! -C)
(*I* SAID, -1 for punnery! -AL)
(Oh well, I tried. -C)

"Horse hair. And I only know this because of a classmate I had in grammar school who could play the violin very well and told us." -

dracothelizard

(It's lucky your classmate had playing the violin to fall back on, because s/he clearly had no future in veterinary science. -C)

"Piano wire. (Though the name is misleading--it's actually made from organs.)" -

alfvaen

"Those little curly shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!" -

wuwt

"Although everyone uses synthetic substances now. You don't want those PETA people coming and throwing blood on your violin." -

ginalin

"*sniffles* So that's what happened to Fluffy! She was gone right after the surgery, and Mother said she'd run off..." -

miladygrey

"Rubbing two cats together, of course...you get all this kind of awesome electricity which can help power the surgical sutures and violin string making....at least taht's what my cat tells me" -

piney61

(Listen, your cat's sex life is really none of our business. And we'd prefer to keep it that way. -C)

"Which explains the caterwauling that can be heard when a beginner is ~~torturing~~ learning to play a violin." -

germankitty

"When people say my sister's violin playing sounds like a strangled cat, I remind them that it's a strangled *eviscerated* cat." -

jonem
"My sister plays violins, and she's...not great. So when I say about cats "I hate their guts", I'm being honest." -

the_zaniak

(Tonight on Radio Free Hell: a violin duet starring

jonem's and

the_zaniak's sisters!)

(Non-Sequitur Alert:)
"My cubicle neighbor just realized he can touch the tip of his nose with his tongue. We're all envious." -

wendynat

(Inexplicably, this question made some of you sickos think of sex:)
"If you hit me with a cat of 9 tails, I'm gonna have to throw you down and... Oh wait, I forgot, I'm not into BDSM..." -

marilyth
"I played the bassoon instead. I just had to worry about greasing the cork to make the joint slide into each other. My entire high school orchestra career was just one big innuendo." -

stephe
"Hm, sounds tough, can I use it to tie up Orlando Bloom?" -

nighthellcat

"Vodka. After enough of it, it is entirely plausible that you cannot distinguish between the staples and the strings."

hardly_angelic

"I wonder if the Scots use cat gut for mini bag pipes? then they could use all the inside squishy bits as cat haggis." -

sometimespez
"I had to dissect a cat in high school. At the end, when we were allowed to tear apart the cats since they would be incenerated anyways, I had the canines ripped out of mine and saved one. Then it got lost. I was so very, very upset." -

kittikattie

(You people need help. -C)

"I often tell my cat he'd make really good soup but I suppose I should start telling him he'd make really beautiful music." -

wolffepsyche

(Umm...yeah, you do that. *backs away slowly* -C)

"If you think that's neat, you should see what they can do with whale vomit." -

whiski_sour

"If you cut open a cat for cat-gut, what do you sew it shut with?" -

vyseryn,

thomas_small

(Why would you want to sew him back up again at all? -CV)

Correct Answer: Catgut

"And, incidentally, ew." -

setauuta

5. What North Carolina town was made famous on 17 December 1903, and how?

"All I know about the American South, I've learned from Hollywood stereotypes. I'm guessing catfish is not the answer." -

ishtar79

(Other variations of NC/Southern bashing: 18. -CV)

"North Carolina.. Thats the communist one right?" -

tarpo

"I've no clue. But there was once a town that was flooded by maple syrup and several people died. They met a very sticky end, you could say." -

whiski_sour

(I believe you're thinking of the Great Molasses Flood which took place in Boston in 1919. Some say the area still smells of molasses, as nature's way of commemorating the fates of the 21 who died in the disaster. Others simply say "Yum, gingerbread!" -C)

"Coochville, NC." -

duia

(Just to be sure, I looked it up. There is, alas, no Coochville, NC. -CV)

"Bat Cave, NC!" -

mistyraven

(This one is real, though. Bruce Wayne does not live there, though. -CV)

"CatFlap, NC. It invented the wine called Cat Pee on A Gooseberry Bush. We did not make this wine brand up." -

csi_tokyo3

(The town is fake; the wine is real. That's probably more disturbing than anything. -CV)

(And in unrelated news, I'm surprised it took until question #5 to get to this picture:
Clearly a falsified part of our belief system, as the cat population would have been wiped out centuries ago. Along with every other feline species.

Clearly a falsified part of our belief system, as the cat population would have been wiped out centuries ago. Along with every other feline species.

Thank you,

spatialrift47. -CV)

"Dateline: Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. More notable for what didn't happen: an airplane (made by Orville and Wilbur Wright) doesn't crash." -

photosinensis

"That's Kitty Hawk, where the Wright Brothers single (double?) handedly inspired a division to our armed forces, resulting in millions of deaths. Way to go Wright brothers. Way to go." -

renee12321
"Without those meddling Wright Brothers 9/11 would never have happened." -

stevenmallory04

(Revisionist History 101 is now in session. -CV)

"Kitty Hawk - for the Wright brothers' first flight. Thus leading to the unending fight between North Carolina (where the flight happened) and Ohio (where the Wrights did most of their work) over who can claim the title 'first in flight'. Silly states." -

cjtremlett

"At the centenary two years ago, they completely failed to replicate the flight. So much for modern ingenuity." -

zihuatanejo

"Sure, the Wright borthers had the first flight at Kitty Hawk that day. But that night, one of them showed it to their girlfriend and started the '30 Foot High Club.' Sadly, it only lasted 9 seconds." -

mcrunner03

Correct Answer: Kitty Hawk, near which the Wright Brothers made the first powered flight

(And if you said Kill Devil Hills, you're only a little bit correct. While the plane did take off there, the hills were, at the time, not a real town. The town of note was Kitty Hawk, a few miles away. -CV)

6. If you had nine lives, what would you do in your six-hundred-odd year lifespan?

(Sex: 19. Drugs: 4. Rock and Roll: 3. World Domination: 17. -CV)

"Start a guerrilla campaign to destroy the works of William Wordsworth. Um. And listen to way too much David Bowie." -

flakygoddess

"I'd probably lose 8 of them doing stupid stuff like bungee jumping and riding motorcycles into sharks that are on fire." -

tofusquirrel

"Run around chopping people's heads off and screaming about how there can be only one." -

kestrel127

(+1, Highlander. -CV)

"Probably the same thing I do everyday, Pinky....try to take over the world!" -

piney61,

soimpossible414,

neev

(+1, Animaniacs. -CV)

"fulfill my lifelong dream of eating all the Dove chocolate in the world." -

kokopellinelli

"I'd probably be the lucky one who would live 666 years. Watch out." -

ecarrotsushi

"If I got to live 9 different lives as 9 different people, that would be completely awesome. But only if I actually got to live each life. I can’t imagine being dropped into a body, required to fix a problem, fix it, and then be snatched away again. That would be so exhausting." -

mselfie

(-1, Quantum Leap. Voyagers was so much better. -CV)

"Bitch about how back in MY day, all we had was 14.4 modems! And it took me 3 hours to download my first porn clip, and it was burry as SHIT and only 5 minutes long, but I enjoyed it because it took 3 HOURS. These little mofos with their brain implant networks and instaporn eyeglasses can all kiss my ass!" -

kittikattie

"Wait until I was 600, then tell Yoda who is ready to be trained to become a Jedi." -

zihuatanejo

"Nine Lives... perhaps I'd have nine wives... live in St Ives... and bemoan that fact that the nursery rhyme actually says 'seven wives' and I've wasted near immortality on an incorrect pop culture reference." -

mujubius

"Bathe in the blood of virgins so I could avoid those nasty wrinkles. It worked for Elizabeth Bathory, didn't it?" -

dorei

And that's it. Nothing else to say; cat's got our tongue.

Keep on playing! Get more players! Spread the word! Feel the love!

Rock on,

AL&CV&C

Current Mood: felinicidal
Current Music: Cat's In The Cradle