LJ Daily Answers: 3 October 2005

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"You guys should get an award this week for the most tenuous linking to a theme yet." - asw909

It's not easy, doing this thing we do, dee doo doo doo, dee da da da...

That's right, in honor of Sting's birthday yesterday (2 October), we had a quiz dedicated entirely to Sting. Why? Because we can. For those of you who were aching for a ninja theme, hang tough. A ninja has infinite patience, and so should you. For everyone else... well, here we go again!



1. The Raytheon FIM-92 is more commonly known as what?

"New Classics and Yesterday's Favorites! From Light Rock to Mild Country! We Play Them All! FIM-92: The Raytheon!" - sabine791110

"The Big Hollow Metal Stick-Thingy That Fires The Thingy That Goes BANG" - active_apathy

"I got your patriot missile right here, biotch!" - ANONYMOUS
"*shoom!* What the hell was *that*?" - lizbetann

"Doesn't Raytheon make batteries? And aren't batteries usually used in small, handheld devices? And aren't the most useful small, handheld devices ones that buzz in some fashion? So, I'd say it's a vibrator." - wendynat

(+1 for absolutely impeccable logic. -C)

"'Raytheon' makes me think 'death ray'. But, these technical names are so misleading. It's probably a vibrator decorated with daisies." - whiski_sour

(-1 for extremely questionable logic. -C)

"A stinger, not to be confused with a the Stingers I am used to (1 part Everclear, one part Aftershock and one part Creme De Menthe). I am not sure which is more deadly, as I have not tested the missle on my body, but it may be a close second." - southbucki

"The Death Star." - mcclintock, pheline

"The Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator." - jacesan, wiredwizard, auraus, tofusquirrel, deltashade, feste, richcsigs, rivetkitten

(+1, Marvin the Martian)

"The Stinger Missile AKA We pwn yur skiezzz." - shrieking_ell

"oh, hey, is it a stinger missle? because I just thought of that. I knew someday there'd be something good about a husband that watches nothing but the military channel." - wolffepsyche

"I believe that it's still made right here in Louisville. Of course since I said that, it naturally won't be made here anymore. That would be okay though since we still make those kick-ass gatling guns for warships. Those things are mean." - halo4

Correct Answer: Stinger Missile

"I don't know. Give me a good blaster any day, kid." - anonymisty

(+1, Star Wars. No, I'm not going to call it "Episode IV". It's just fucking Star Wars. -CV)



2. Complete the quote and tell us who said it:
"Float like a butterfly, _________."

"I pity the fool who gets this wrong." - ceemonster

(I pity the fool who uses a Mr. T quote for Mohammed Ali. -CV)

"...stings when I pee." - oh so very many of you, citing oh so many different sources.

"...get flattened on a windshield" - gekko

"...sting like somebody who's just been bitchslapped with an Ikea catalogue." - jonem

"...and I'll capture you and pin your appendages down." - jacesan

"Sink like a Stone - Ophelia" - thurdl01

(+1, Shakespeare. -C)

"...Sting like a bee! I remember that from Mike Tysons Punch out, so I have no idea who said it. Probably Tyson." - auraus

(Ooooh, that's bad. -1. -CV)

"'Float like a butterfly,
Sting like a bee,
(and watch it Tyson
you don't bite me!)
Cos I'm the greatest' - Mahommed Ali!" - dreamplace

"Float like a butterfly in Asia, cause a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico." - silk_knickers

(Moral of the story: Kill every butterfly in Asia so we don't get any more hurricanes. -CV)

"if we must categorize him as an insect, I must say he always struck me as more like a fly than a bee...

See what I'm saying? It's the hair." - ajmcoqui

"how come boxers don't win darwin awards? is it because they live long enough to have kids? I mean, shouldn't a person who repeadetly allows another person to whack them about the head and face deserve a darwin award?" - wolffepsyche

"This one never really made sense to me. I mean, floating? in boxing? Wouldn't that just be setting yourself up to get hit right out of the ring? 'Gee, Bob, the kid's been doing pretty well tonight. What's this? He's...floating? This is not going to end well, Bo....HOLY FREAKING SHIT! Did you SEE THAT?!? Oh, the humanity...'" - sabine791110

"As to who said it: I have no idea, but it's gotta be a ninja" - nextian

(While Cassius was quite a talented pugilist, he most definitely was NOT a ninja. -CV)

"Though...were ol' Ali to say it today, it would sound more like 'muh muh muh hurrumph, muh huh *gurgle* humph' See, LJDQ, that's what I don't get about boxing. Sure, let's go in the ring and beat the snot out of each other for 12 rounds and whoever has the least brain damage wins. How about no?" - halo4

Correct Answer: "Sting Like A Bee", Cassius Clay (Muhammed Ali)



3. Harold the Second and Duke William faced off for the last time on 14 October 1066 during which conflict?

"It wasn't a cage match, I'm sure, so I'm not interested." - thevioletangel

"I'll take 'Stuff I Ignored in History Class Because I was Staring at the Cheerleaders' Tight Sweaters for $600.'" - southbucki

"The Second Punic War. I know it isn't right, I just like to say 'Punic.'" - silk_knickers

"That was either the Thrilla in Manilla or the Rumble in the Jungle. I think Harold the Second was still Cassius Clay back then." - david_deacon

"BEOWULF!!!" - droptheleash622

(You failed history too, didn't you? -CV)

"The very first game of Connect Four. 'Pretty sneaky, Will.'" - elbiesee

"Is this a trick question? I can't see how the Battle of Hastings relates to Sting. I bet I'm about to look really stupid, aren't I?" - jonem

(Yes, I'm afraid you are. -CV)

"I'm losing the commonality here. I thought this was a sting thing. Oh, okay. HaSTINGS. Ha, ha, I get it. *rolls eyes* You're almost reaching here, you know that?" - ginalin

(No, cpip is reaching... -CV)

"It was a grand and epic wrestling match in the barn amidst the scattered dried grass, until Harold threw William into the wall, dislodging the wasp's nest hanging over it. The two were greviously injured by the vicious insects. Thus ended the battle of Hay Stings." - cpip

"I wanna know how you get shot in the eye by an arrow when facing the French, fer crissakes." - barbarienne

Correct Answer: The Battle Of Hastings



4. Paul Newman, Robert Redford, and My Favorite Martian all star in which early 70's con-game film?

"The Horse Seducers" - katcole97

"The Gordon Sumner." - renee12321

"Con Tiki." - dhud98

"what the hell is My Favorite Martian? I mean, I'm old but you finally have a reference that even I'm too young for. *hugs you*" - shrieking_ell

"J'onn J'onzz was in a 70's movie? Oh that crazy shape-shifter." - vanbrosia

"Ray Walston was a wonderful character actor. Who can forget him as Mr. Hand in Fast Times at Ridgemont High? Or the blind/deaf/amnesiac newspaper guy in Johnny Dangerously? Or even the tough as nails, play by his own rulebook judge in Picket Fences? Must we forever immortalize him as the guy wearing the antenna on his head? Show some respect for the dead, man!" - dorei

"The Sting! I should have quoted it to chaosvizier when I joined up: 'marag said I could learn some things from you. I already know how to drink.'" - lovellama

"one of the finest movies of the 70s, and far better than Butch Cassidy. Beat that ending, Shyamalan!" - setting_sun
"The Sting sucked. I don't mean sucked just a little, but more like a boatload of suck. So, I'm going to change my answer to 'Shaft' because not only is he a bad motha, but he was RICHARD FUCKING ROUNDTREE. Seriously." - halo4

(Looks like we have a cage match here, ladies and gentlemen! -CV)

"I once stumbled across a Sailormoon/The Sting crossover story where Shaw was diddling Sailor Mercury on a pool table." - princesskraehe

(And that is why the internet is a bad bad thing. -CV)

Correct Answer: The Sting



5. Lyrics time! Name the song, the artist, and how this question relates to today's theme!
"You can try on our suede underwear if you choose
Do what you want but don't step on my blue suede shoes"

"THERE IS NO THEME YOU DIRTY ROTTEN CHEATERS! Screw the quiz, I'm going back to watching Excel Saga, orwhateverthehell it's called." - the_wanlorn

(I'm pretty sure Microsoft Excel is not interesting enough to generate an entire saga. Maybe an Afterschool Special, at best. -CV)

"I can't get past the suede underwear. I'm completely stuck now. Whhhaaaaa. Suede underwear. Wouldn't that be, like, awfully difficult to clean? Well, yeah it's soft, and stroky, but I'm envisaging problems with cleaning and trapped hair and alllllll sorts of weird things. I mean, nice soft, stroky, material rubbing... your... nether.... regions..... I'll be back with the rest of the answers later...." - m31andy

"I once had suede sheets on my bed.. and wore a pair of silk shorts.. While jumping onto the bed I learned an important lesson in friction and gravity." - tarpo

"Elvis was kidnapped by rock-and-roll-loving aliens. Sting is a rock-and-roll-loving alien." - maertitrae

"I'm imagining Sting in suede underwear! Ew, ew! THERE CAN NEVER BE ENOUGH BRAIN BLEACH." - jonem
"I have a picture of fat, old Elvis in blue suede underwear stuck in my head doing that hip gyration. *claws her eyes out* MAKE IT STOP!!!" - ANONYMOUS

(Responses like those are what makes this all worthwhile. -CV)

"Sweet Jesus/Buddha slash, I do not want to imagine Elvis' blue suede panties." - woap

"Blue Suede Shoes, Elvis Presley, and... you've been drinking again, haven't you?" - sadasi

"Wait, elvis sang about suede underwear? Why did I never notice that line in the song before?" - lyme

(Probably because it's not really there. -CV)

"My god you people are reaching here. It's 'King of Suede' by Weird Al which is a parody of 'King of Pain' by The Police, who were fronted by... Sting." - buzz
"...Who was in The Grotesque with Theresa Russell, who was in Wild Things with Kevin Bacon! Sorry, I got carried away." - rikchik

Correct Answer: "King Of Suede", by Weird Al Yankovic, parodying "King Of Pain" by The Police

(Number of people who got this half-right: 19. Number who got it all right: 10.



6. Come on, out with it: tell us how much you love/hate Sting. Or who you like instead.

"Wait, is Sting a wrestleman? No...he's a Rock man...uhm...I think. Curse my lack of knowledge in the things you whipersnappers like!" - iankeith

(I think you'll find none of us qualify as "whippersnappers", unless you're sixty. -AL&CV&C)

"Sting is all right, but that whole blue-glowing thing would really give away your location if you were cowering in the corner hoping not to be found. I'd much prefer Anduril." - wendynat

"I dunno, I thought he was pretty good in WCW until they started giving him that The Crow gimmick." - setting_sun

"he was the only good part in that abomination of a movie, Dune." - pheline

"Sting's ok, but he's no Weird Al Yankovic" - wiredwizard

"Sting rocks only slightly less than Seal." - uncut_diamond

(Is this good or bad? I can't tell... -CV)

"Everyone should bow down to the almighty goodness of that which is Bon Jovi. They're at least still making albums. What's Sting done lately?" - ANONYMOUS

"I probably shouldn't admit to being a Billy Joel fan on a public forum. But that's okay. You guys can taunt me about it... for the longest time. I'm above any jokes thrown my way, 'cause I'm an uptown girl. And I'll stop now before I get a minus infinite points." - profsparky

"Sting would have to be one of my heroes. I don't listen to his music, but the fact that he's out there making that, I really respect that." - nextian

(+1, Zoolander. -CV)

"I kind of like Sting on his own, but when he was with The Police, they overplayed 'Synchronicity' so much I started calling it 'Stinkchronicity'. 'Every Move You Make' is the creepiest song ever, too. It's about stalking someone and obsession! This is not love, people. Quit playing this at wedding receptions!" - ginalin

"I have a Sting CD. I got it for the sole reason that it had the song 'Fields of Gold' on it. I listened to that song many times when I first got it, and I haven't listened to it since." - kokopellinelli

"I quite liked 'Don't Stand So Close To Me', but only becuase I was sleeping with a teacher when I first head it." - flickgc

"I don't hate sting.. I hate that he has sex for 14 hours at a time.. The man.. HAS SEX.. for longer than a cat sleeps.. Thats just wrong.. I tried having sex for 14 hours once.. Worst wrist cramp I ever had.." - tarpo

"My son is doing a book report on Sting's biography. I considered sending him to the ljdq archives as an additional source, but then I realized that would be considered "contributing to the delinquency of a minor." He'll have to stick to more conventional sources." - dorei

"I have loved Sting for my entire adult life, which began the night I had lawn seats during a concert on his "Dream of the Blue Turtles" tour when I was 16. I swiped someone's binoculars and saw Sting had taken his shirt off. It was all downhill from there. A couple years ago I went to see him in concert and had the indoor equivalent of lawn seats (i.e. crappy). Remarked to my husband that the show was awesome, I just wished I could have actually seen Sting. Fifteen minutes later, we're sitting in the traffic jam to get on the interstate, when we notice a white stretch limo beside us. "There he is," my husband said. "Shyeah, right," I said, glancing over just as the window in the limo goes down and Sting is waving at me. Someone from inside the limo said hi, my husband said "hey!" I managed an incoherent squeak. This did not impress Sting, and his limo drove off. For weeks afterward, I worked into conversations how Sting and I said hey at a stoplight." - jennnlee

Correct Answer: "I love Sting so much, that even though he's older than my dad, I'd Jump his British Bones. I'd even rob a british bank so that Sting and i could have sex in the Pound Notes, making it 50% better." - moodybear



And there you have it. Sting is another year older. We're another week older. No one is any the wiser, unless you happened to learn something from this week's questions, in which case, bravo!

Be back tomorrow with more fun, excitement, and possibly less tenuously-linked questions to satisfy your need for logic. Not that some of you have need of that...

Rock on!

AL&CV&C

Comments

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I agree 100%. Before he dies, he needs to sit down and record himself reading the complet unabridged Oxford English Dictionary, so that we have his voice on hand for the rest of eternity to use for whatever evil purpose we see fit.

"Contemplate this on the tree of woe."