LJ Daily Answers: 3 September 2004

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

'Tis September, and time for our young people to return to school. Some of our old people too, if they're slow and clunky. And so we offer this special Back To School edition of the LJDQ, because it was either that or "Months that rhyme with 'member'." -CV


"In honor of the back to school theme, I will answer every question incorrectly. (I was looking at a 60% or so anyway.) This move is made even more ironic by the fact that I edit middle and high school textbooks." - b7cy

"I thought I'd take you on a little tour of nonsense entertainment, rather than answer questions, especially for you Ang as you have been looking at very boring screens for a while. I'll leave the real answers to those who know them." - spiffington


1a. (For the Americans) What is the oldest University in the US?
1b. (For the Brits) What is the oldest University in the UK?

“1a. Harvard, where all the fancy pants go. Then again I knew some chick who had a Harvard degree that was a total nut job. So, just because one is from some fancy pant school doesn't make them all proper and fancy.” - deinemuse

(You say this as if "fancy pants" & "total nut job" are mutually exclusive. -AL)

“1a. Hogwarts” - ghostwriterxx

(Not in the USA. Happens to be in the UK, though. And it is pretty old. -CV)

(Not old. HP#1 published 1998. Also, NOT REAL. -AL)

"1b. I'm not a brit, but i play one on tv." - ghostwriterxx

(I bet your accent is wrong. That's something the Brits like to complain about. -AL)

"1a. Yale...or at least it looks old.
1b. Cambridge." - thinksheknowsya

(Close & close. But ... wrong & wrong. -AL)

"1a. Salems school in witch burning" - matt_ledgerwood

"1a. At a guess 1a, is less than 100 years old, as you guys don't have *history*. I'm sure that's why all of our history majors over here are American!" - spiffington

(You're wrong about the age, spiffington. Our oldest university dates back to 1636. -AL)

“1a. The Art Instruction Institute. Can YOU draw Tippy the Turtle?” - krick

(Nope. Can you sing the Tippy Turtle song from SNL? -CV)

“1a. Quackenbush's Lodge. Been around since 1624 when dirt was old and the women had feathers in their ass.” - dancingsaracen

“1a. The Western Pennsylvania Learning Annex for Shootin' and Drinkin'.” - b7cy

(Oldest, AND with the highest student mortality rate to boot. -CV)

"1a. The university of my pants. Can't beat the nightlife, unless you ask nicely." - sskipstress

(May we ... please? - AL&CV)

"1a. The School of Hard Knocks." - fizrep

(Verily, an ancient seat of learning. KaPOW! - AL)

1a. "The School of Hard Knockers." - doomgirl

(Verily, an ancient seat of earning. Oh WOW! -CV)

"1b Or not 2b." - doomgirl

(Hamlet is old, & came from the UK. I say full credit. -AL)

“My advise to you is to start drinking heavily.” - xgreenjudasx

(+1, Animal House. -CV)

"1a. Hahhhhhvahhhhhhd." - stagemanager
"1a. Haaaavaaaahd" - chrysoberyl

(For those who are unaware, that's in Baaaaaaahhstahn. -CV)

"1a. William and Mary" - several of you

(Since this answer came up a couple of times, I had to go check it out. The College of William and Mary is the second-oldest college in the US, but the Sir Christopher Wren Building at W&M is the oldest academic building in continuous use. -AL the nitpicker)

Correct Answers:
1a) Harvard University (1636).
1b) Oxford University (exact founding date uncertain, some time in the 12th century).

“I'm not sure I like this whole Us and Them milarkey by the way... I mean segregating? Didn't you notice how much upset that caused the last time you guys tried it?!?” - spiffington



2. Which two adventure-prone morons attended San Dimas High School?

“San Dimas sounds like it is in California, so... Lewis and Clark?” - mshenzi

(There is nothing we could say to make this answer funnier. -AL&CV)

"Our trip to San Dimas was more of a bogus journey than an excellent adventure...especially the Applebee's on Arrow Highway." - impulsezip

(There's actually a real town called San Dimas? Who knew. -AL)

“fizrep and chaosvizier.” - deinemuse, ghostwriterxx, perkyczarlet

(That’s enough out of all of you. -CV)

(+1, referring to the other moderator as a moron. -AL)

(Heck, have another +1 for picking on fizrep. He never calls me. -AL)

"angledge and chaosvizier" - matt_ledgerwood

(Hey! -AL)

(Hey, I'm surprised we only got one. -CV)

“they held all their campus chapel services on the beach. San Dimas= Sandy Mass “ - spiffington

(They were worshipping the women's Olympic beach volleyball teams. -AL)

"We have to pick just two?" - verdandiweaves

(No, I suppose not. I'll be impressed if you know another alum of San Dimas. -AL)

“Bill and Ted say ‘Be excellent to each other’; I say ‘Have lots of monkey sex with each other’” - sskipstress

(And we say, "Have excellent monkey sex with each other." -AL&CV)

“Bert and Ernie. They changed their names to Bill and Ted when Oscar outed their "special" friendship.” - doomgirl

"Button Moon and Mr. Spoon or whoever those creatures are that the Brits keep waffling on about." - pisica

“Party on, dude! (tell me I didn't just reference Wayne's World by mistake?)” - marasca

(Fortunately, you did not. You cannot begin to fathom the amount of penalty points that might have earned you. -CV)

"The Most Excellent Bill S Preston and Ted Theodore Logan... together they are WYLD STALLIONS!!!!!!! *mucho air guitaro*" - seolta

(They were actually WYLD STALLYNS. But full credit anyway. -CV)

Correct Answer: Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Theodore Logan, aka Bill & Ted

“San Dimas High School Football RULES!” - krick, djdysfunction

(Full credit! Full credit as the answer to any question*! -AL)

(*- By "any" she means "any question we choose." -CV)


3. The National Collegiate Athletic Association Men's and Women's Basketball Tournaments are usually known by what (much shorter) nickname?

“En See Double Ay” - mshenzi

“Snoozefest” - b7cy
“WHOCARES” - ghostwriterxx

(These answers seem to sum up the opinion of many of you. -AL)

“Wifflepoob” - spiffington

(And maintaining her hold on the title of LJDQ Gibberish Champion... her wifflepoobiness, Lady spiffington! -CV)

“Basketball's the sport with the ball and the stick and the ass-grabbing, right?” - sskipstress

(I’m not entirely sure you have the right basket or ball here. Or stick, for that matter. -CV)

“Final Fantasy? Fantastic Four? 0xFF? Fan Fiction? Freedom Fries?” - impulsezip

(Game geek. Comic geek. Geek of the Week, -1. No comment. And just plain wrong. -CV)

“Ten tall doofuses running around in their underwear.” - pisica

(Hobgoblins. If they were short doofuses they’d just be goblins. -CV)

"NCAA (which incidentally is different from the NAACP. I used to get them confused until I remembered that Jesse Jackson is not a basketball player.)" - chryosoberyl

("Truly, you have a dizzying intellect." -The Dread Pirate AL)

“NCAAMWB, pronounced ‘Midgehump’” - fizrep

"Dudes and Bitches Hoops Hoedown." - doomgirl

(ESPN needs to hire you for writing sports commentary. -AL)

"Well, if March Madness is for the NBA, and these kids are in college, it must be ... April Angst!" - afterwards

(Oh. So close. -AL)

“No one in my family could ever get anything done in March, my dad and my brother have their eyes surgically attached to the tv, and if you want to have any sort of conversation with them all spring, you'd better be up to date on your pool.” - perkyczarlet

Correct Answer: March Madness



4. The Weasleys, the Potters, and the Malfoys have all been students at which fabled school?

“Harlem School of the Arts” - deinemuse

“The Huxtable school for ghetto children” - ghostwriterxx

(That is wrong on so many levels... but +1 for the Cosby Show reference anyway. -CV)

“This is LJDQ for Dummies. I think these movies are getting worse.” - perkyczarlet

(You people are impossible to satisfy. I was bombarded all week with complaints about the quiz: "This quiz is too HARD!" "This quiz is too EASY!" "This quiz is too AMERICAN!" Impossible. To. Satisfy. I am staring hate-filled darts into the eyes of each & every one of you, except afterwards, who made me the coolest LJDQ icon ever. -AL)

(Hey, I made a tough quiz that one week. Everyone got all 'WTF is this whole Sting thing?' on me. Now I huddle in a corner and eat those cute little Zoloft rocks for kicks. BOUNCE IN MY TUMMY, MOTHERFUCKER! -CV)

“The Springfield Elementary School for Wizards. ‘Lisa's casting spells at an eighth-grade level, and you've sinned against nature.’” - b7cy

(+1, The Simpsons. -CV)

“Am I the last person to ever read these books? I swear, all you lemmings, rushing towards the same literary cliff. Rage! RAGE I say! Rage against the dying of the standard of world literature! Damn those bitches at Doobleday to the eternal circles of perdition!” - xgreenjudasx

"Quirm College for Young Ladies" - sskipstress

(+1, Terry Pratchett reference. See, xgreenjudasx, there are still a few readers left in the world. -AL)

"A book? As if!" - marasca

(Not too many, though. -AL)

“Ridgemont High” - fizrep

“Hogwarts. Because nothing says "bestseller!" like farm animals with skin problems.” - afterwards

(I heard it was originally supposed to be “Warthogs”, but the African Swine Society complained saying it gave their clients a bad image, being associated with ritualistic magic and such. -CV)

Correct Answer: Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

"Hohhhhhgwahhhhhts." - stagemanager

(Making fun of Baaaaaahstonians never grows old. -CV)

"Where the fun doesn't stop until a Cave Troll comes in." - dancingsaracen

"Duh. Ask which houses they were part of, at least!" - pisica

(See what I mean? Always with the complaining, these contestants! -AL)



5. What group of 16th century artists, including Titian, were especially known for the rich glowing tones of their paintings?

“Renassiance painters - really can't remember, need tea.” - verdandiweaves

“Because they all started painting at a young age, they were known as the Teen Titians.” - afterwards

(That was a terrible comic book pun. I cringe. I blanch, even. -CV)

(Quite a few of you were putting your faith in fellow Quiz-taker marasca to get this one right...)
"The neoclassicist school of...I don't know ask marasca" - chrysoberyl
"This is LJDQ for marasca. I don't know about no art." - perkyczarlet
“I bet marasca will get this one. She has a degree in art, and two cats. That makes her a certifiable font of all useless knowledge.” - xgreenjudasx

(As an aside, I'd like to point out that on the original Daily Quiz, marasca once made fun of my dating life & once made fun of my bra size. This was at a time when nearly all of my friends & half of my office were on the Daily Quiz mailing list. The point of this anecdote is to let you all know that making fun of marasca on the LJDQ is a sure route to extra points. -AL)

(So, after all that buildup, what WAS marasca's answer for No. 5?????)

“You said Tit. Heh Heh.” - marasca

(Poor predictable marasca. Always chooses tit. -CV)

(And now, for your viewing pleasure, we’ll put all the rest of the tittie jokes together in one section. -CV)

“The Tremendous Titular Tit Society, also known by their nickname triple T, were famous for such paintings as Mona Lisa's Tits, Man Tits Holding up the World, and some strange orange acrylic on linen painting that noone seems to remember the name to. A bit of little known trivia about the society is that they were searching for that elusive triple T breasted diva that would carry them off to fame and fortune. They never found her.” - mshenzi
“Boobian, Breasta, and Titsglow” - deinemuse
“The Titties staring Tituba...very titalating!” - ghostwriterxx
“Thanks for throwing in the "including Titian" because that cleared it right the fuck up for me. Who the hell is Tittie-an?” - djdysfunction
“I'd like to see the glowing tones on her Titians if you know what I mean.” - fizrep

(In summary, -1 to angledge for utterly failing to anticipate this. -CV)

"Glowing tones? Rich Aromas? Do I detect a hint of decadence? Hey if you lick it, it tastes like, like.... coffee! This is just a Kenco coffee advert isn't it?!?" - spiffington

(Yes, they're our first corporate sponsors. -AL)

“I just went to Vegas...I know this one! The Venetians! They painted frescoes, which is the only style of painting I remember studying in high school.” - thinksheknowsya

(+1 for being the only correct answer to this question. -AL)

Correct Answer: The Venetian School.



6. If you could major in any subject, real or imaginary, what would it be?

“I would major in martial arts. I've been doing it for years anyway and if I could get a bachelor's in it too, that'd be great.” - thinksheknowsya

“Bestiality. No wait, I've already got a degree in that... “ - mshenzi

(She actually specializes in animal husbandry of sorts. She doesn’t usually have sex with the animals, unless it’s absolutely necessary. -CV)

“Victoria's secret shopping 101 - In this course we will examine finding the best bargains in both the online and catalog mediums. Students will use the fall/spring catalog to choose the look that best suits them and learn to navigate the website including advanced shopping cart filling out, speed shopping, and how to earn free shipping. Also covered: returns, gift certificates, ebay, and wish lists.” - ghostwriterxx

(I think you already have your PhD in this subject matter. -CV)

(Professor chaosvizier will be overseeing the Modelling Lingerie 101 couse (required). -AL)

“#6 is always the hardest question.” - perkyczarlet

(I know. The challenge of original thought makes monkeys out of mortal man. -CV, not a monkey)

"Hmmmmm. Clog dancing. I always wanted to try it and just imagine if you were majoring in it, you'd get to wear the clogs all the time making that cool kinda 'clopitty, clopitty' sound as you went to classes and no-one would bat an eyelid cos you'd be studying it as a proper subject! ... Imagine the ceremony! What a party! You'd have to have your own little acceptance dance to go and get your bit of paper from the university dean, shoes tapping down the aisle, hair bobbing as you dittied to the front... Marvellous..." - spiffington

"Necromancy. If I could have my own legion of zombies, I'd never have to worry about parking tickets ever again." - dougygyro

(spiffington & dougygyro need to combine their research so the world can reap the benefits of having an army of undead clog-dancing zombies. -AL)

"I would major in animal communication so that I could be a pet psychic on tv and come up with the amazing pronouncement that Fluffy the Bischon enjoys french fries, whereupon Fluffy's astonished owner will exclaim, 'How on earth do you know that? You really must be communing with dear Fluffy!'" - chyrsoberyl

"Mixed-media Storytelling" - impulsezip

(You are the all-singing, all-dancing Big Brother. -AL)

“I would major in Procrastination, with a minor in Panic.” - miwseshat

(So, angledge, how’s that procrastinated dissertation going? -CV)

(I'm graduating at the top of my class ... eventually. -AL)

“You can major in GameBoy if you know how to bullshit.” - xgreenjudasx

(+1, PCU. -CV)

“I'd major in linguistics. I've always wanted to be a cunning linguist.” - sskipstress

(I did that. It’s a wonderful thing. -CV)

“Blowing Shit Up. I already have a license for it...so why not?” - doomgirl

(I seriously need to hear more about this license of yours. -AL)

(doomgirl is a licensed pyrotechnician. She’s the woman to have around on the 4th of July. -CV)

“Pitying fools, with a minor in tossing.” - fizrep

(My prediction for this major? PAIN. -CV)

(So CV, do you think fizrep knows what "tossing" means in the UK? -AL)

"Fellatio." - stagemanager

(Giving, receiving, or double major? -AL)

“Lollygagging. I don't know what it means but it sure does sound funny.” - dancingsaracen

Correct Answer: "I’d major in life, and minor in love." - xgreenjudasx



Thank you all again for playing, and in the words of Walter Cronkite, "And that's the way it is."

Tune in next week when we find out if the American Labor Day holiday prevents our brave and daring moderators from bringing you quizzy goodness. Being that I plan on being liver-achingly plastered for the next three days, I'm forseeing a grim future for that whole Monday morning release date thingy.

...

Ok, I'm lying. There'll be a quiz up on Monday. Never fear!

AL&CV

Comments

[seolta.livejournal.com]

"1b. I'm not a brit, but i play one on tv." - ghostwriterxx

ooh oooh! a celebrity... which one?

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

She played the old bald guy on the Benny Hill show.

[seolta.livejournal.com]

You'd have to have your own little acceptance dance to go and get your bit of paper from the university dean, shoes tapping down the aisle, hair bobbing as you dittied to the front...

Well that sort of hi-jinks couldn't possibly go on at Harvard or Oxford of course - the aging buildings would tumble down with cohorts of rambunctions clogging majors cavorting around the halls :) BUt ya know if they were tap dancing zombies i feel sure Buffy and crew would show up sooner or later... no matter where it was ;)

[xgreenjudasx.livejournal.com]

I'd just like to state that I rule, because not only was I a correct answer, but had the forsight to know that my answer was correct when I wrote it.

Ow . . . my brain.

Baska need coffee. Baska SMASH!

[xgreenjudasx.livejournal.com]

And props to marasca for once again not letting all us sick-o's down!

[madkitty.livejournal.com]

“I bet marasca will get this one. She has a degree in art, and two cats. That makes her a certifiable font of all useless knowledge.” - xgreenjudasx

I have a BA in Anthropology, and three cats. Marasca and I need to have a Trivial Pursuit Cage Deathmatch.

And by the way, these were the funniest quiz answers I've read yet. I love you all to pieces!

[dancingsaracen.livejournal.com]

Great friggin Icon and Screenname. Props.

[madkitty.livejournal.com]

Why, thank yewww.

[angledge.livejournal.com]

And by the way, these were the funniest quiz answers I've read yet. I love you all to pieces!

Thank you! Always glad to entertain.

[doomgirl.livejournal.com]

Reading this thing and giggling my ass off almost made me late for work...

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Then we have done our job well. Tune in next week when we make milk spurt out your nose.

[doomgirl.livejournal.com]

eeeewwww!

[krick.livejournal.com]

Or out of your eye...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jwz/377476.html (http://www.livejournal.com/users/jwz/377476.html)

[stagemanager.livejournal.com]

"Fellatio." - stagemanager

(Giving, receiving, or double major? -AL)


Double major, of course. This special program is 68 weeks long; then there's the additional week of Finals.

[angledge.livejournal.com]

Bravo. Fantastic rejoinder. I like you Mr. stagemanager, you should join us more frequently.

Oh excuse me

[djdysfunction.livejournal.com]

Quirm College for Young Ladies

I thought that said "Quim College for Young Ladies." That would be more interesting though, no?

Re: Oh excuse me

[madkitty.livejournal.com]

Your icon makes my panties totally soggy. "It's pronounced EYE-gore, actually."

Re: Oh excuse me

[djdysfunction.livejournal.com]

Heh, thanks. My panties are a little soggy too. Oh... oops.

"Actually it's pronounced Frahnkensteen."
"Do you also say Froderick?"
"No, Frederick."
"Well, why isn't it Froderick Frahnkensteen?"
"It isn't. It's Frederick Frahnkensteen."

Ah, I love that movie.

Re: Oh excuse me

[madkitty.livejournal.com]

;)

Re: Oh excuse me

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

That's enough out of you, Frau Blucher.

Re: Oh excuse me

[madkitty.livejournal.com]

He vas... my luvvar!!!

[sskipstress.livejournal.com]

And we say, "Have excellent monkey sex with each other." -AL&CV

Hey if you lick it, it tastes like, like.... coffee!

In one of my social circles, if you lick something, it's yours. If you stick something between your breasts it's yours, too. Licking Titians...think of all the redheads I could call mine.

[xgreenjudasx.livejournal.com]

Regensfolke/Myrkfaelinn: We're a social circle? I thought we were a social disease.

Best line in a musical EVER, "Hey, I've got a social disease!"

Guess that American Musical Theatre classic!

[sskipstress.livejournal.com]

West Side Story

One of the things I've learned by working at NIH is that many bacteria have circular topography to their genome, so the sequence goes round and round in circles.

Which would make Regnesfolke/Myrkfaelinn is a bacterial disease. But I bet we're resistant to antibiotics.

[xgreenjudasx.livejournal.com]

God knows were resistant to the sanitizer in the Porta Castles.

[madkitty.livejournal.com]

It wasn't A Chorus Line, was it?

Priestly intoning, "Who have you been with, my son...?"

"Uh... nobody. Nobody!"

"Then how can you have gonorrhea (GONE-OH-RHEEEE-AAAAAA)?"

[impulsezip.livejournal.com]

I knew a hexadecimal reference would get me Geek of the Week. Woot!

"You are the all-singing, all-dancing Big Brother" Thanks! ;-)

"Hey, Tippy Turtle..." Now that's going to go though my head all day.

[impulsezip.livejournal.com]

I think my next step as Pimpmaster is to start pimping ljdq in metaquotes, if that's ok with y'all.

So how many entries this week?

Pimpmaster IZ,
The Official LJDQ Pimp

Pimp away!

[angledge.livejournal.com]

Only 25 entries this week. Last week was our high point, with 30.

[angledge.livejournal.com]

Are you still trying to resist the siren call of LJ?
attempting to
though I did read the LJDQ
Heh heh.
Revenge will be MINE!
if you didn't wear baggy clothes so much, I wouldn't have underestimated your cup size, you know. ;-)
*thrusts bosom out at Kirsten*
Ooooh. I see now. ;-)
If I didn't wear baggy clothes so much, I'd be naked quite often, because baggy clothes are about the only clothes I own.
nothing wrong with naked...
Sunburn? Hypothermia? Jail time? Chafing?
all minor inconveniences

[funkyplaid.livejournal.com]

Bwahahah!

[krick.livejournal.com]

Oh, to be the proverbial "lunchmeat" in a thrusting bosom sandwich. *sigh*

[perkyczarlet.livejournal.com]

“This is LJDQ for Dummies. I think these movies are getting worse.” - perkyczarlet

(You people are impossible to satisfy. I was bombarded all week with complaints about the quiz: "This quiz is too HARD!" "This quiz is too EASY!" "This quiz is too AMERICAN!" Impossible. To. Satisfy. I am staring hate-filled darts into the eyes of each & every one of you, except afterwards, who made me the coolest LJDQ icon ever. -AL)

No, no, you misunderstand, it was commentary on my fellow quiz takers. I thought I got extra points for that! Take no offense, the LJDQ is the greatest of inventions, and I am playing it instead of packing for Australia. Hold the plane!