LJ Daily Answers, 8 August 2005
Aug. 8th, 2005 08:31 amHappy Monday, darling Quizlings! I hope you all had wonderful weekends, doing whatever it is you all do on Saturdays & Sundays. This week's Quiz theme was fairly unsubtle - questions based on the word "star". Let's see what delightful horrors you were inspired to create by six simple questions.
1. Before her role on "Sex and the City", Kim Cattrall wore pointy ears in which film?
"Star Trek XXIV: Ponn-Farr in the City" -
"Sex and the Enterprise. 'Captain Picard was a good boyfriend. But he cried after every holodeck session, no matter what it was. Even Dixon Hill. So I dumped him.'" -
"Star Trek. I'm thinking she played a Romulan in ST5, but I could be mistaken." -
(You know, for a guy whose username is
"The only person from 'Sex and the City' whose previous career I know about is Sarah Jessica Parker, and all I know about hers is that I hate her like burning." -
"Star Trek IV: A New Hope. Or something like that." -
(Good job, upsetting two gigantic fandoms at once. -AL)
"From memory she was cast to replace Kirstie Alley's character from an earlier film after Alley didn't want to play a bad Vulcan. And now I've just had the mental image of Kirstie Alley from a year or so ago as a fat Vulcan, that was disturbing." -
(Drink! -AL)
Correct Answer: Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
"Of course, Catrell left little undiscovered in her other movies, including 'Live Nude Girls,' 'Police Acadamy,' and the original 'Porkys.'" -
"I think she was a mannequinn at some point too. They should combine characters. She'd be a stiff, plastic, pointy-eared, whore. A blow-up Vulcan? Fun times." -
2. What famous gemstone was stolen by "Murph The Surf" and ransomed for $25,000?
"Nicks a world class rock, lets it go for pawn shop prices." -
"Ah, a trick question. The 'gemstone' in question was a baseball diamond; everyone knows that Murph the Surf liked astroturf." -
"'Murph the Surf'? Did he get laughed at down at the Gangster Bar, or what? Did Mack the Knife give him noogies and Indian burns for having such a LAME HANDLE?" -
"I hope Mr. Surf used some of that money to buy himself a better alias." -
(Yes, his present alias led many (most) of you (us) to mistake him for a small blue cartoon character. -AL)
"Why isn't he Murph the Smurf? The rhyme is better, and tiny blue creatures would be better at stealing gemstones than waves, I think. More hands." -
"Smurf jewel thieves. They sneak between the laser wires, and they weigh very little--so they won't set off pressure plates. Genius!" -
"The amazingly blue Smurf Diamond -- mined by Gargamel, polished by thousands of tiny, bleeding Smurf-hands, leant to Smurfette for her one and only appearance at the Oscars." -
"Smurfette was such a ho." -
(Irrelevant, but OK. -AL)
"You know, the other day I saw the Crown Jewels in the Tower of London. We were going to steal them, they might fetch a fair few bob on eBay." -
"The Hope Star? The Star of India? oh, I know. The Pink Panther. But how does this fit in with the theme?" -
(Nope, yes, nope, BACK UP YOU HAD IT RIGHT. -AL)
Correct Answer: The Star of India.
"Another, lesser-known gem called the 'Rhombus of Uzbekistan' was also stolen at the same time." -
3. What internationally known store, named after a character from Herman Melville's "Moby Dick", opened its very first location in Seattle, Washington?
"And when you say 'Internationally Known', you mean 'Every American, a bunch of foreign businessmen, and a Smurf or two know it's name, vaguely'. I know the truth! *coughworldseriescough* Bloody arrogant Americans." -
(Ohhh, I think you'll find that just about EVERYONE on the LJDQ will have heard of this store. -CV&AL)
"Like hell I've read that monster. I hate Melville." -
(Who goes on to theorize ...)
"But the character was probably a sailor, which means he spent long months at sea, which made him frequent dockside floozies when the boat was in harbor, which means he had lots of sex, which means he smoked many post-coital cigarettes. And what goes better with cigarettes than coffee? I'll say Starbucks, the sailor. He was probably tempted off the boat, in the end, by the siren call of the mermaids, which is why Starbucks has that little chick with the flowing hair as their symbol, showing that coffee will someday be our downfall. Or something." -
"I always thought Starbuck's was named after Battlestar Galactica. Although, that's why I'm a sci-fi geek and not a literary geek." -
"Ishmael’s House of Pancakes! Love me the IHOP!" -
(Word. -CV&AL)
"Starbucks, much more successful than 'Queequeg's', the unsuccessful Colorado eatery, featuring that famous Polynesian delicacy 'long pig'." -
"Queequeg's Qofee." -
"The ill-fated family restarant 'Captain Ahab's'. Their specialty was fried chicken, but the franchise was ultimately doomed because they would only serve you one leg at a time." -
"As a gift, I got a Starbucks card from the original store when my sister went to Seattle. It's only available there and has the original logo, which is too risque for most folks cause OMG!Boobies are on it." -
"'...from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.' Appropriate, no?" -
(Some people love 'em, some people hate 'em. -AL)
"Starbucks! I work there, that's how I know. It's like, insane how many stores they have. And the people who work there, there are like, over ninety thousand. And I'm one of them!" -
"Did you know they never opened any Starbucks in Argentina because there is already literally a café on every block here? In your face, imperialism!!" -
Correct Answer: Starbucks.
4. More fun with lyrics! What's the name of the song and the artist?
"They took the credit for your second symphony.
Rewritten by machine and new technology..."
"First of all, thank you for not asking another Britney Spears question!" -
"Unfortunately, while we have reason to suspect that video was behind the radio star killings, the motive and method have yet to be discovered." -
"I'll be one of the 45690 mentions that this was the first song played on MTV on August 1, 1981. Yes, I watched it. Yes, I am a nerd. :)" -
"The ironic thing here is that it was a one hit wonder because the song was really good, but the Buggles were too ugly for TV. Really Ugly." -
"Ironically, one of the first music videos ever. ....Is that irony or Alanis-irony? I'm never sure anymore." -
(You & me both, Sparky. -AL)
"So, this new machine/technology. Is it the type that's stronger, faster, and handles like a dream?" -
"Radio just won't die though, despite shoutcast and MP3s and MTV, radio is still going, a zombie locomotive that WILL NOT DIE, searching for the tasty brains of its listeners!" -
"A lot of bad things other than the radio star's death have been video's fault, ya know. E-Mail My Heart didn't make it because of the lyrics, folks. Of course, reality TV killed the video star." -
"'Bittorrent Killed the Video Star' by the RIAA" -
Correct Answer: "Video Killed The Radio Star", by the Buggles.
5. What was the name of the NHL hockey franchise that played in the Twin Cities before moving to Texas in 1993?
"I don't like hockey. It's rough, coarse, and gets everywhere." -
"Which Twin Cities? (I highly doubt it was the closest ones, Centralia and Chehalis, of Lewis County, WA.)" -
(Huh, I hadn't realized there were any twin cities other than The Twin Cities, Minneapolis & St. Paul, Minnesota. -AL)
"...oh look, an American sports question. Erm. *points wildly behind moderators* Achtung, ein Zeppelin!" -
(First of all, hockey is at least as much a Canadian sport as an American sport. Second, American questions are sort of inevitable since both CV & I are Americans, living in America. Third, I don't see any zeppelin! -AL)
"A HOCKEY QUESTION! Honey I Love you!" -
"The Ten (Below Zero) Gallon Rootin' Tootin' Toothless Wonders." -
"This is one of those trick questions, isn't it. I'm from West Texas, and we don't play hockey there. The closest thing to hockey we have is hitting mailboxes with baseball bats while on rollerblades." -
"I live in Austin, home of the Ice Bats." -
(Not only is that one helluva funny franchise name, but this fact has alerted me that there are actually at least TWO ice hockey teams in Texas. Who knew?! -AL)
"Is Twin Cities the same as Twin Peaks? Because I remember the red room, a midget talking backwards and David Duchovny in drag. Good times. I don't know how it relates to hockey, though. By the way, my spell checker just suggested I'd replace Duchovny with Douching. I just thought I'd let you know." -
"Minnesota North Stars. As a dedicated homosexual, I have no reasonable explanation for knowing that. Unless the 'Canadian' brain waves overwrote the 'gay' ones this time." -
Correct Answer: The Minnesota North Stars.
"or as they were known during down years, the No Stars" -
6. Who's your favorite TV or film star, and why?
"I don't care. I just want them to romance me. I don't have high standards. I'm fickle. They take me out, tell me I'm decent-looking, and it doesn't turn out that it was a bet involving several friends and prom, and I'm theirs forever. This also applies to everyone who isn't famous." -
(Standards? We don't need no stinkin' standards! -CV)
"Whew! Here I was thinking you'd ask for my favorite star, and I was really having trouble deciding between Lyra and Betelgeuse." -
(And here we thought screen stars couldn't bring out a Geek of the Week. You may choose any star with a -1 magnitude. -CV)
"Johnny Carson, who once, when asked how he became a star, replied 'I started out in a gaseous state, and then I cooled.'" -
"Sean Connery. He can play anyone from anywhere in the world with a Scottish accent (even a Russian Admiral) and still be hot at 300 years old." -
"John Malkovich. He's about as awesome as they come. Who else could play himself going into his self? The only thing that movie needed was Lo Pan. 'You were not put on this Earth to 'get it', Mr Malkovich.'" -
"Steve Buscemi right now. I recently found out that he was a volunteer fireman in NY. And after the attacks on the WTC, he worked with the departments looking for survivors for a few weeks. All the while avoiding any media." -
"Kevin Bacon, because...how can you not love an actor who's been in both Friday the 13th and Tremors and whose last name is a pork product?" -
(You make a convincing argument. -CV)
"My favorite TV star is the Muppet Ernie because he sings a song about loving his rubber ducky." -
"Ewan McGregor. Jedi Knight, eyelined glam rock star, penniless writer, Southern gentleman extrodinare! And a Scot to boot!" -
"I'm gonna go old-school and say Al Pacino. Those eyes, that hair, those eyebrows. He was the only reason I was willing to put up with Keanu for two hours and go see 'The Devil's Advocate'. Well, OK, Charlize Theron helped a lot, as did the chick who played Keanu's sister. Woof! But um... boy, that Pacino can act, huh?" -
"Johnny Depp. Does that need a why?" -
(After seeing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I'm going to say yes, it does.
"Somehow, I will control the age-old natural instinct to vote for boobies and explosions, and instead vote for Anthony Hopkins, because I'm sick and twisted and idolise Hannibal Lecter. And I can have Anthony Hopkins and explosions, and...I'd rather not think about Anthony Hopkins with boobies. Just say no, kids." -
"Peter Billngsley, who played Ralphie Parker in A Christmas Story. He captured the true essence of The Queen Mother of All Cursewords... and it hasn't been uttered so skillfully since." -
"Alex Trebek! Yeah, you heard me. Jeopardy all the way, baby!" -
(Well, ok, he was good in that one X-Files episode... -CV)
"William Shatner, because he finally realized he was an utter ass, and went with camp and satire of his own self, making him far more likeable than he was during Star Trek. He now makes a living making fun of himself and speaking songs really badly. You have to admire his chutzpah, even if you can't admire his acting." -
"Alan Rickman. He gets to be snarky and British, and who doesn't love listening to that Voice?" -
"Ioan Gryffud and Cillian Murphy take the tie, because they both have really funky names and killer cheekbones." -
Correct Answer: No correct answer. Everybody's entitled to their own opinion.
So this week we tried to keep the Answers a bit shorter, since AL has gotten some feedback that they were getting too long-winded. Let us know what you think.
Rock on,
AL&CV.
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Date: 2005-08-08 08:46 am (UTC)Here is a suggestion.. when taking feedback.. ignore the ones from dumb people
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-08-08 08:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 09:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-08-08 08:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 08:52 am (UTC)I'm so sad now. =(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
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Date: 2005-08-08 08:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-08-08 08:59 am (UTC)Probably from the same illiterate jerks that complain when I post a more-than-one-page story. Fie on them, we say!
P.S. I bet this post was too long for them.
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:36 am (UTC)Re: That's enough Hive snark from you two.
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:00 am (UTC)It was North Stars, two words.
And in Wisconsin alone (well, on the border with Michigan in one case), we have the twin cities of Neenah-Menasha and Marinette-Menominee.
Hey, Peter Jennings is gone, somebody has to be picky!
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:23 am (UTC)As for the "Twin Cities" thing, as far as I'm concerned there's only one set of twins. All the others are wannabees.
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:05 am (UTC)Damn, I totally messed up on this. I knew the song, but for some reason thought that the singers were the Presidents of the United States of America. You know why? Because of some cereal that I ate when I was younger and it had one of those "send two proof of purchases and get a free CD!" on it and I did and the first song on the CD (and the only actual good song) was "Video Killed the Radio Star." Unfortunately, it was a cover by the PotUSA, which I didn't know until now.
But did you know that there was a Canadian superhero called Northstar? He was in Alpha Flight and the X-Men and was homosexual. And I bet he liked hockey.
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:09 am (UTC)Yes, I remember Alpha Flight. Didn't he have a sister who was schizophrenic? Man, talk about a messed up family. No wonder Wolverine left and joined the Americans... and their Russian, African, Cajun, and German team members. Go multiculturalism!
The Presidents of the USA did sing VKTRS, but they were not the original singers. They did the version that I believe was first broadcast on MTV as the first video shown on the channel.
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:05 am (UTC)But... no. As everybody else just said: the more, the funnier. I've recently found this community and I'm having a blast going back and reading the old answers. The thought that there's not going to be truckloads of funny in the future makes me sad.
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:07 am (UTC)I'd say this approach was too short... my monitor was untouched by coffee this morning.
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:20 am (UTC)We have run low on funds for alcohol. That's why we put a PayPal tip jar on the community info page.
I'd say this approach was too short... my monitor was untouched by coffee this morning.
Duly noted. Wouldn't want you to actually drink a full cuppa or anything ...
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:07 am (UTC)no subject
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From:Procrastination, thy name is LJDQ
Date: 2005-08-08 09:09 am (UTC)Re: Procrastination, thy name is LJDQ
Date: 2005-08-08 09:24 am (UTC)Re: Procrastination, thy name is LJDQ
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:13 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 09:18 am (UTC)Oh, see, this just makes me think of Northstar: The Marvel Universe's gay, french-Canadian superhero who used to be an Olympic athlete.
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 02:07 pm (UTC)That accent is to DIE for. Mmm.
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:25 am (UTC)I was quoted once, but I miss the long, long list of answers. And since I just pimped it last week on my journal, I think we need the long posts with lotsa good stuff in it.
And, in response to someone who thinks it was too long before, I shall quote every fanfic writer evah accused of Mary-Suedom: "If they don't like it, they don't have to read it!!1!1!1 OMG!1!"
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:46 am (UTC)But, you see, we want them to read it. Like CV said above, we'll try to find a happy medium.
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From::D
Date: 2005-08-08 09:28 am (UTC)"What's wrong with your face?"
Re: :D
Date: 2005-08-08 10:18 am (UTC)"Black blood of the earth."
"You mean oil?"
"No, I mean Black blood of the earth!"
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:34 am (UTC)Too short, dammit! >:(
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:34 am (UTC)Too short?...
Date: 2005-08-08 09:37 am (UTC)"You can take back all the things you give, but you can't take back the days you live...Life is,too short."
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Date: 2005-08-08 09:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 09:54 am (UTC)So maybe he wasn't his usual schmexy self in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I still worship him for pulling it off.
now if only he'd pull more offAnd I'm gonna go with the chorus and say Too Short, More Answers.
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Date: 2005-08-08 10:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 10:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-08 10:33 am (UTC)The Crackmonkeys on length
Date: 2005-08-08 10:38 am (UTC)My dear Angledge. Adorable Chaosvizier. Ye companions of the Pudding-Suckers.
This quiz is an assortment of trivia, that generally will reward those who *gasp* like to read with the completely superfluous warm fuzzy of being right. Because most information in the world is disseminated through words, and articles, and information, those who read the most know the most, and we scorn those who are simply crack-smoking chiba monkeys getting news in soundbites and radio-skits, jumping up and down like spastic thirteen-year old Britney Spears fans spouting garbage and sometimes-funny-smart-ass answers in insincere hopes of being made public on the infamous LJDQ, so they can point their friends here in a feeble attempt of proving their intellectual worth and feeling that tingle of "smrt"ness than they don't deserve and rarely experience. If they don't enjoy reading, then they are here under false pretences and their opinions are worthless gutterdregs.
Hence, it is my humble opinion, that those who don't like to read, don't have to, and should go somewhere else where the big words won't hurt them.
I enjoy reading the contributions of my fellow pudding-sucking quizlings, and the more the merrier. Especially when I don't get quoted so I can scorn you for passing over my obviously superior answer. I'm still mad you didn't post about July being like sex with a gymnast. That was brilliant dammit.
~Fine.
*non-reader cliff-notes*
IF YOU DON'T LIKE READING YOU SUXXORS!!!! BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS!! YOUR MOTHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES! PASTE EATERS! GO READ A BOOK!! LIKE GO DOG GO! PWNED!
"companions of the Pudding-Suckers"?
Date: 2005-08-08 10:53 am (UTC)After reading the gripes chorus presented in the comments so far today, CV & I have definitely decided that today's format was too short. Rest assured, we will provide MORE funny next week.
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