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[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

A booming crashing round of applause to everyone who played this week. Yes, the theme this week was thunder, which did cause some of you to blunder, and while writing this I wonder whether my rhymes cause you to chunder.

Enough! The answers lie hereunder.



1. What cartoon superhero group routinely faced off with such villains as Slythe, the Luna-taks, and Mumm-Ra?

"Speech-impediment boy. The villains were extra cruel and made their names hard to pronouce with his lisp." - gnomeprincess

(Thlythe, the Luna-thakth, & Mumm-Wa live in fear of Thuperman. -AL)

"NO! Superpowers of a comic book nerd not working! Argh, you win this time, LJDQ, but watch out for me again! I! Will! Not! Be! Defeated! (Oops, started to Shatner. Ouch.)" - twilight_angel

"Luna-tacs? Tacks that are made of the moon? Or is this something more sinister? Is this the return of The Loonatics? cause that shit ain't funny, yo." - lexsboo

"There was a cartoon superhero group called the Thunderbirds, right? Am I going mad?" - technoinfidel

(Yes, there was. But this is not them. -CV)

"The Legion of Super-Pets. See, the monkey was superagile, and the dog was superfast. And the cat superignored everybody. And the horse took a supershit wherever he went. They were UNSTOPPABLE!" - afterwards

"I'm gonna say the X-Men, because they have Storm." - soimpossible414

(Excellent use of logic. But as we all know, logic never works with the Quiz. -AL)

"Mumm-ra? Isn't that like, She-ra's mother?" - palmer_kun

"WTF is Mumm-Ra? I have this mental picture of a mother ripping off her clothes and yelling "For the honour of Greyskull!" Man, now the mental picture is of my mother. Damn you guys!" - whitetower

(Drink. -CV)

"I would like to point out that I'm pretty sure that Cheetara can be blamed for the mass existence of furries." - spyderqueen

(Believe it or not, I think it goes back even further, as dizzle09 suggests... -CV)

"Josie and the Pussycats" - dizzle09

"I spent most of my childhood trying to be Cheetara. Now I'm just a tubby chick with a headache." - linguafranca

"I blame Cheetara for making me queer. I mean, really, how could she not be a dyke superhero??
" - permogod

"Thunder, thunder, thundercats, Ho!
Thundercats are on the move,
Thundercats are loose,
Feel the magic, hear the Roar,
Thundercats are loose
Thunder, thunder, thunder, Thundercats!
...I hope you're happy - I'm going to have that in my head for the rest of the evening." - shino_hoshi

(Class, can anyone tell shino_hoshi the LJDQ Proven Cure for Mental Song Looping? -AL)

"The creators of Thundercats obviously never *watched* any actual cats when there was thunder. 'Slythe? Really? Can you tell him to call back? I'm... fighting dustbunnies. Under the bed. Yes.'" - feste

"The Thundercats! Man, they were awesome. Also, Mumm-ra totally wanted to jump Lion-o's bones. I was only 5 when the show was on and I could tell even then. (Which may say more about me than about the show.)" - herotodusjr

(You're not alone. Not at the LJDQ, you're not... -AL)

"I still have nightmares about Mumm-Ra and Skeletor. Making out. In the back of my schoolbus." - ajina

"I SO wanted to do Tygra when I was a kid....." - vagablonde

"am I the only one who's ever questioned Lion-O's sexuality?" - halo4

(Sorry. Everyone knows Tygra was the cat with the alternative lifestyle. Bullwhip? Hello? -CV)

"I call one of my cats a thundercat - for entirely different reasons. Yes, well, ok her nickname is Thunderbum." - verdandiweaves

"Thunder, thunder, THUNDER, THUNDERCA-- I'm going too high!" - cmzero

(+1 for providing us with the perfect opportunity to link to the Thundercats Outtakes Page. -AL&CV)

Correct Answer: The Thundercats

"...or RumblePussies, as my friend used to call them, whilst giggling madly." - ajmcoqui



2. The evolution of a cumulus cloud to a cumulonimbus via downdrafts of cooling humid air generally leads to what kind of weather pattern?

"Elementary school, 4th grade, March 14th, 1:03pm: 'But teacher, when are we EVER going to need to know this stuff?' 'Because one day, LJ Daily Quiz will have it as a question.' But like a fool, I didn't believe her..." - cmzero

"All's I know is that Mother Nature's a bitch." - gaaak

"It sounds like this would produce lots of rain and swirling wind. Yes, swirling wind, the only thing is going to take that slice out of my golf game." - foxbodysleeper

"I took one look at the big words in this question and went 'Nope, I'm skipping this one.' Honestly, why make clouds complicated?" - vanbrosia

(Lots of guesses based solely on the LAST word of the question; i.e., pattern ...)

"Tweed." - ewacat
"Crop circles." - psychoticspy
"Probably checkerboard." - alliterator
"Polka-dotted" - shino_hoshi
"Plaid" - invalidcaracter, sskipstress, trueflight
"tartan or polkadot or something" - obviousfakename
"A lovely cross-stitch pattern from the local Ben Franklin's." - mlewys

"A cumulus cloud is a cloud that looks like a sheep. A cumulonimbus cloud is a cloud that looks like an anvil with a sheep on top. Therefore, the weather pattern in question would be... a sheepsmith? I don't think smithing generally uses a lot of cool, humid air, but of course, I'm only familiar with blacksmiths. I'm sure the techniques for sheepsmithing are different." - elsajeni

"in grade 4 we were learning weather patterns, and during gym class I pointed out a cumulonimbus cloud to a classmate, and the teacher sent me to the principal, thinking that I was calling him a bad name" - lynbug

"I don't know, but it sounds damned saucy! I've never had someone evolve my cumulus with a downdraft!" - princesskraehe

"I don't know, but once the cumulonibus transforms into a nimbus 2000, expect a 90% chance of Harry Potter fans." - ajina

"A duck. Ooo! I AM WISE IN THE WAYS OF SCIENCE!" - shinga

(Not really, but you are wise in the ways of quoting Monty Python. Here's your +1. -AL)

"It's when the evolution of cumulus clouds goes too far that you have to worry! Cumulosapiens!" - feste
"Evolution? Don't you know God creates the weather? Gee, next you'll be trying to convince me we're descended from monkeys..." - anonymisty
"I don't believe in evolution. You are going to burn in hell for this question!" - livehisjoy

"Puppy frightening weather." - csflick

"The 'get inside and hide in the cellar with the kids' kind" - basking_lizard

(*checking User Info* Is Ontario part of Tornado Alley? -AL)

"Did you know they have Cyclone Tours? "Storm Chasing Vacations". OMG, people, have you never seen Twister? The cows, man, THE COWS! THAT COULD BE YOU!" - rhiannon3j

(Ahhh, not all Quizlings get so worried about it ... -AL)

"Down in Alabama and our fellow Tornado Alley states, tornadoes are just not a big deal any more. F-5 coming our way? We might die? Dude! We get out of school for two days!" - sennical

(And people give ME a hard time for living on an earthquake fault. -AL)

"I haven't known that since the fourth grade. Wow, that was a great unit. I wish we still learned about clouds..." - shannonsue

"Okay, so my climatologist boyfriend is gnashing his teeth and wailing because you misspelled 'cumulonimbus'. Thank you for making my day brighter. I love you guys. Have some pudding." - ccaretta

(OK, quite a few of you caught us on that spelling error. Which has been corrected. +1 for laughing at your boyfriend's pain. -AL)

(+5 for the pudding. -CV)

"A vigourously convecting cellular system, commonly with heavy rainfall and high probability of electrical activity" - bobjanova

(By chance you aren't ccaretta's boyfriend, are you? -AL)

"I wiped all of this from my mind when I passed high school geography. Fuck you, isobars! I am freeeee! I now have a horrible mental image of fucking an isobar. Would it be some strange new refrigerated dildo? I...don't wanna know. Hmm. So these three climatologists walk into an isobar..." - sasscat

"I could go for a big, booming, banging, crashing thunderstorm... it's been too long. Or sex. That hasn't happened in a while either." - sarcastro

(I don't think whining about it on the LJDQ is going to improve your chances, friend. But if you can combine the two, they seem to go pretty well, right buzz? -AL)

"Am I the only guy here who feels like Thor when we gets it on with girl during a thunderstorm? Can I have a show of hands?" - buzz

Correct Answer: Thunderstorms



3. What is the name of the popular Australian all-male revue playing at the Las Vegas Excalibur hotel/casino?

"Ever since they got rid of the “LanceO’Lotta Pasta” buffet, I’ve boycotted that place." - slickrickt

"The only popular Australian All-Male performance I'm aware of are those guys who do genital origami on stage. My mother kept talking about how much she wanted to go see them. I think she lives to make me squirm uncomfortably." - spyderqueen

"Puppetry Of The Penis" - Far too many of you were familiar with the members of this group. By the way, that link is NSFW. Be forewarned.

"Lord of the Thunderdance." - cmzero

"Up against the Wallaby." - drbear

"Chip’n’Dale. Freaky little pornmunks." - kokopellinelli

"Don't Touch the Didgeridoo" - krick

"Them Aussies is some fine man ass, yes sir." - genesisdesire

"Well, I would've said 'Siegfried and Roy: Bustin' Out' but a.) they're German, and b.) Siegfried and Roy jokes are still in rather poor taste..." - conjurdude

(If there's anything that you should have learned from the ljdq by now, it's that nothing is in poor taste. -AL&CV)

"The Bruce Review. The cast list is very easy to memorize. Of course then some pooftah named Michael Baldwin joins, but they rename him Bruce just to keep it clear." - buzz

(+1, Monty Python. -CV)

"I hope it's something like "Thunderbuns": men with nice, little tight buttocks. *sigh* I have to go find my vibrator now." - ladyisabella

"Is this that rumoured naked production of Spamalot?" - princesskraehe

(With their hit single:
"Our nuts are under tables,
Our clothes are invis-able,
We don't wear sweats
Or shirts or vests
Or scarves of mink or sable,
It's a chilly life in Spamalot
Which is why we sleep with lambs a lot!" -CV)

"Thunderballs." - four of you will be sued by United Artists for infringement of their James Bond copyright.
"Thundernuts." - two of you, who might be interested in their female counterparts, Coconuts.
"Thundercocks." - three of you. Subtlety is not your strong point, eh?

"I'm Australian. We're all very embarrassed by them. Next question, please." - whitetower

"My mom's friend saw that. She took her sixteen-year-old daughter to it and then wonders where she went wrong." - stormyskies

"It would be really great if it were called 'the thunder from down under'." - vlvtjones

(Wouldn't it, though? -CV)

"I bet it's Thunder from Down Under. God, that phrase makes me think of fat people farting. Now I need to wash my brain of disgusting, competing mental images. Gah!" - ccaretta

"If it's 'Thunder from Down Under,' I'm going to have to puke. I have a severe allergy to stupid-ass rhyming names." - soimpossible414

(It is Thunder from Down Under, therefore you must chunder. -CV)

"They can totally come thunder my down under anytime." - starryeyes203

"Thunder from Downunder. Coincidently Jaimie Dury from Backyard Blitz used to be in Manpower. I had the calander as a teenager. Phwoooar...." - caseypuffy

(Your excessive knowledge of male revue stars is unsettling. -CV)

Correct Answer: Thunder From Down Under

"Most men seem to think they have the thunder down under, if you know what I mean. Most men are wrong." - marasca

(And she's been with most men. She knows. -CV)



4. What was the first film that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman starred in together?

"Tom Cruise does not 'star' in a film. He blandly smiles his way through the scenes, oozing gayness." - jonem

"Tom Cruise is getting old. I think we need new icons of hotness for this generation. But the problem is we have nobody to choose from. So because I can't think of anyone better, I choose chaosvizier. That's right, chaosvizier is the new icon of hotness. Spread the world. Soon he'll be in the tabloids and we'll see headlines like 'Is that really pudding chaosvizier is eating, or is it a secret way to feed his heroin addiction?'" - gnomeprincess

(Mmmmmmmm... smackpuddin'. -CV)

"I thought that movie was very poignant. Especially the part where Tom Cruise is going around Las Vegas with a bucket full of his brother." - afterwards

(+1, The Critic. Bet you didn't think I knew that, eh? -CV)

"This may be the only movie that Nicole Kidman appears in which her face does not appear to have been shrink-wrapped to her skull." - ccaretta

"I try to stay away from movies with Nicole Kidman in them. She seems the kind of person who steals small children and eats them." - crinkledpaper

"Is She Really Taller Than Me?" - the_headhunter

"All I can tell you is that, if you pay close attention during the sex scene in Cold Mountain, you get a good view of Nicole Kidman's right nipple." - elsajeni

"Oddly, the first thing that comes to mind is Donald Duck in Math Magic Land. That's probably incorrect." - trueflight

"Thighs Wide Shut. God I hope I'm not the only one to answer that." - calankh

(You weren't, trust us. -CV)

"Blue Thunder" - rikchik

(Nice guess, but alas, no, Tom never flew a helicopter. -CV)

"'Thor and Away,', perhaps? The Epic Tragedy of a poor Irish immigrant and the Norse Thunder God who loves her." - herodotusjr

"Ah, the one with the 'Irish' immigrants where Tom Cruise was 'Irish' and we knew that because of his 'Irish accent' and Nicole Kidman was 'Irish' because she had red hair. No wait, the race car one. Where 12-year-old Nicole Kidman was a 'brain surgeon.'" - whitetower

"The movie where Tom Cruise molested a bowl and Nicole Kidman traveled the world looking for better hair care products." - livehisjoy

"If I knew a guy named 'Cole Trickle', I'd never jump in bed with him. Ick." - atomichatred82

"Days of Thunder. I originally watched it in science class. Don't even try to make me explain. My sci teacher was a crazy old lady who was starting to give up on teaching." - genesisdesire

"With My Eyes Wide Shut
I Live These Days of Thunder
Both Far and Away" - conjurdude

(+1 for an impresseive Cruise-Kidman Haiku generation. -CV)

"Top Gun II: The NASCAR Years." - whiski_sour

Correct Answer: Days Of Thunder



5. Of Santa's nine reindeer, two of them have German names. What do Donner and Blitzen mean in German?

"Where did Santa pick up German reindeer anyway?" - lyzz13

"I always wished he was called 'Blitzkrieg'. Imagine them all hurtling downwards toward these freshly-scrubbed, shining-faced children. 'NO PRESENTS FOR YOU! DEATH FROM ABOVE!'" - whitetower

"You're trying to tell me that Santa employs German rein... oh my God, 'Klaus'! I see it all now! This is all Hitler's plan to conquer the world from beyond the grave! He'll distribute toys to everyone through his red-suited avatar, then when we least suspect it, they'll... do something... really bad! My God, it's worse than I thought! Block your chimneys, everyone!" - cmzero

"Since Donner was the name of the party that got lost in the mountains, and 'blitzkrieg' is a German war tactic, I'll go with 'Cannibalism' and 'Mustard Gas.'" - linguafranca

"I don't know but in the comic book Shadow Cabinet and Heroes Donner and Blitzen are two female superheros who are bonking on the side. Considering Donner can heft tanks and Blitzen can move faster then sound, the pornographic possibillities are endless." - lots42

"My sister does this thing where, much like adding an -o to a word will make it Spanish (el car-o, la library-o), she adds a -hagen to make words German. I don't even know if -hagen is a valid suffix in German, but she also asked me if the Pope had a wife last week, so I guess that pretty much explains it all." - duia

"'Donner' doesn't mean anything in German. 'Donder' however, means thunder. And Blitzen is lightening. Donder is the name in the C Clement Moore poem, 'A Visit From St. Nicholas', Donner is what they call him in the intro to 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'. Yes, I am a geek, and yes, I will correct you. And you will like it." - lotusbiosm

(Let's try this again. The German word for thunder is, in fact, Donner. Donder/Dunder was his original name in the classic poem, but he was renamed in the "Rudolph" song to Donner for unspecified purposes. Donder is Dutch for thunder, not German. Also, "lightning" doesn't have an "e". Yes, we will correct you too. Oh, and have a -50 for good measure. And no pudding for you for two weeks. -CV)

"Unfortunately, the information on Donner is no longer availabe to the general public, as the files are now sealed by the FBI and Donner himself is under the Witness Protection Program and still nervous about the events of that Christmas Eve. Blitzen, on the other hand, must've meant either 'flash' or 'fast' or 'heat' because Santa ended his life swiftly with a flamethrower and proclaimed that he 'tastes just like chicken'." - atomichatred82

"'Back up I had beans for lunch' and 'Let's blame that one on Rudolph'." - sestree

"Rudolf is also pretty dang german sounding, but I guess cause of the nose he's just a stinking commie pinko reindeer." - mcclintock

"Blitzen is similar to bitchin' except that it involves more alcohol. As in, 'Dude, were you at the frat party last night? It was totally blitzen!' Donner, on the other hand, is what the rabbi called my cousin Donna throughout her wedding, because she (the rabbi) had a serious case of New York accent. It was pretty funny." - chlaal

"Blitzen must mean lightning, considering Blitzkreig. It's important not to confuse Blitz with Blintz, being struck by cheese filled pancakes is much preferable to being hit with a million volts of electricity." - spyderqueen

"Garth Brooks sang about one, and John Travolta about the other. (Greased Blitzen!!)" - pride4u2

"I assumed donner meant flash so Blitzen had to be thunder. Flashing Thunder?" - rebbyrebs

(No, that was question #3. And you got them backwards. -CV)

"Thunderbolts and Lightning, very very frightening me, Galileo." - conjurdude

"That would be Thunder and Lightning, the most hardcore of the nine. Rumour has it that the reason Santa needed extra recruitment the year Rudolf joined was due to the extra weight of their piercings and billowing black Goth cloaks slowing down the sleigh." - meandstuff

Correct Answer: Thunder and Lightning



6. Have you ever done anything that drew a thunderous round of applause? Tell us about it. If not, tell us what you're going to do in the future to bring down the house.

(First, the No answers:)

"No. But I will use a bobcat to bring down the house when its time comes." - compwizrd

"I'm going to shut that Ben Affleck guy up once and for all." - vlvtjones

"I don't recall doing anything to draw 'thunderous' applause, but rest assured when I take over the world, thunderous applause will in fact be mandatory at all my public speeches and/or appearances." - spyderqueen

(We had several Quizlings propose variations on this basic plan. -AL)

(There's only one way to settle this dispute. TWO QUIZLINGS ENTER! ONE QUIZLING LEAVES! CHAOSVIZIER RULES BARTERTOWN! -CV)

"No applause for me, thank you. Me + Applause = horribly self-concious." - lyssrose

(THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE!!!!!!!!!)

"I have yet to bring down a house, but I plan to bring down a circus tent with a mix of ANFO, Semtex and large quantities of dynamite. Clowns are evil. Think about the result - wigs flying everywhere, custard pies forlornly raining from the sky... You'll laugh so hard your lashes will curl all by themselves." - jonem

"Why do I suddenly feel like I ought to have a classic tween-angst story here? One that ends with me standing pantsless in front of my entire class, and thus acquiring an embarrassing nickname (e.g., 'Tightie Whitie') that haunts me to this very day? Alas, I have no such story. And by alas, I mean 'thank god.'" - chlaal

"Again with the misreads. I saw that as 'a thunderous round of applesauce.' Don't mind if I do." - gnomeprincess

(Now, the Yes answers:)

"I have! For my theater final in college I performed the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally, and nailed the, um... climax of the scene, the crowd went wild!" - bitchness

"Does dropping my tray in the cafeteria count?" - dizzle09

(Sure. Sarcastic applause can be thunderous. -AL)

"I rescued a litter of kittens from a burning building while I was still firefighting. That was the greatest thing I can think of..." - permogod

(Did the kittens applaud? Because if not, it just doesn't count. -CV)

"My sister and I were dragged on stage during 'The Complete Works of God - Abridged' and asked to make farmyard animal noises. Who knew a trout was a farmyard animal? Who knew what kind of noise a trout makes? We certainly didn't. 'Blub blub,' however, amused the audience. So it was more thunderous rounds of pity than applause, but hey." - goodtwin

"I performed a solo of a song called 'The Castle Song' that first brought complete silence from the audience (a rare event with dinner theater) and then an overwhelming round of applause. It was my moment of fame and something I'll never forget." - ladyisabella

"The only applause I got recently was for yelling 'Bigot!' at this guy by the city square preaching about how homosexuals are TEH EVIL. About four adults applauded and I felt so special for about 2.5 seconds (because then I tripped over.)" - puredeadthingy

"I fall down a lot." - calankh

"I called my boss a fucking moron once. Good for the cult status, bad for the employment status." - nihilistbear

"Well it wasn't thunderous, but pulling off a roundoff backflip on the footpath outside a pub at 3 am last Friday night got a pretty big cheer from the group that had goaded me into it. Ah, ouzo, where would my nights out be without you." - limegreen_sloth

"I suspect the hunting down and killing of a few public figures who really get my goat might gain thunderous applause from some, it might also to result in me hearing the thunderous sound of the gavel as I am sentenced." - asw909

"I'd love a literal thunderous round of applause. Every time the audience clapped, a lightning bolt could hit a random person and thunder could rumble in the background. There'd be loads of random and pointless and stupid jokes that people seem to find funny making people clap, and then, the joke would be on them" - timydamonkey

"I married crostfingrs 3 years and 9 joyful months ago today, and afterwards, the dear hearts and gentle people gathered together stood up and cheered! Not sure if they were applauding my bravery or his..." - unamundamour

(Ok, let's have a collective "awwwwww" from the group. That was sweet. -AL&CV)

Correct Answer: "True story. I was a waitress in a cocktail bar (No really) in Dallas on Greenville Avenue. We wore little outfits which consisted of a long tunic, a little cloth belt around the waist, tights, tennis shoes and tennis visor hat thingies. I was walking up to the 2nd level to head to my section, when a guy thought he'd be funny. I heard the words 'Hey y'all, watch this!' and hoped I'd be far away from whatever he was going to do. Sadly, I was not. As I'm walking up the next stair, I feel a cold breeze on my butt. The guy thought it would be funny to lift my tunic to see what I wearing underneath and show all his friends. It wasn't just a flipping up of the skirt. It was a full pull up to expose my arse, enough that the belt rose up to under my arms. 'Oh no you DIDN'T' I thought to myself.

I quickly swung around with my fist and connected right to his pretty little nose. I decked him HARD, blood splaying everywhere. I then launched on him, grabbed him by the collar and proceeded to give him a verbal ass reaming like nothing he every received or probably ever will again. My 7ft tall manager came flying across the room, picked the guy up over his head and headed to the door with me running down the stairs to catch up. The manager dumped the guy on his head, right in front of the police officer outside. The cop was quite startled and he heard the story from my manager and other witnesses.

As I stood on the stairs, massive applause broke out I stood there with blood on my fist and looking like crazy woman.

Everywhere I went for the next two weeks, I had free food and drinks, as other waiters and bartenders had heard the story.

The End." - danicia

And that brings us to the moral of this week's Quiz: don't mess with Texas! Or Texan waitresses! Because, like the Thundercats or a thunderstorm, they will fuX0r you up! Meditate upon this truth overnight, & prepare for a fresh new Quiz tomorrow.

Rock on,

CV&AL.

Comments

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

OK, to be fair, somehow I missed that one. I think I would have used "Ayer's Cock" if I'd noticed. But I was drunk a lot, and at 3 am sometimes a few things slip by the old stream of consciousness. But good pun. Carry on.