LJ Daily Quiz: 28 March 2005

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

PSYCH!



NO QUIZ FOR YOU!

That's right, today the new quiz rules go into effect. Feel free to enjoy the answers from last week, take a break, enjoy the magic of Easter Monday, and warm your brains up for a brand new quiz that will show up sometime tomorrow. And you'll have the whole rest of the week to come up with your wondrous witticisms and creative commentaries. As well as getting drunk, because that's what weekdays are for.

Hope everyone had a pleasant Easter weekend, if you celebrated such a thing. If not, hope you went and ate lots of chocolate anyway. Especially bunnies.

Comments

[thereject.livejournal.com]

what

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I never thought anything could make the Mario Brothers disturbing. Not even that live-action movie from the 90's. But this is all bad.

[tabbyclaw.livejournal.com]

It had Aunt Petunia in it! How can you not be horrified?

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I'll grant, it was probably the worst Video Game To Movie Conversion in all of history. Worse than Mortal Kombat 2. Worse than Street Fighter. I haven't seen Alone In The Dark or House Of The Dead yet, but I'm betting Super Mario Brothers is still worse.

[goodtwin.livejournal.com]

...but what kind of soup was it? If it was pea soup, I can't say I'm all that fussed.

As well as getting drunk, because that's what weekdays are for. I'd heard this community was a good influence. Glad I wasn't misinformed.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

No one orders pea soup anymore. Unless it has ham in it. mmmm, ham.

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Today on Jerry Springer's Easter Monday program: Unsexy Crossdressing Easter Bunny Wannabes and the Men, Women, and Lagomorphs That Love Them. With special guest star Buzz Bunny.

[kayepants.livejournal.com]

I think the best Springer ever featured two men who insisted on wearing cloth diapers and the woman who couldn't choose between them.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I'm preferential to the Icon Of Evil known as Maury Povich and his DNA/Lie Detector episodes. Maury Povich is nothing less than Satan's representative on Earth, and this show features him at his most demonic. I love it.

[kokopellinelli]

I love Maury. His show will be on in an hour. The ones with the skanky 14-year-old hos who have sex 500 times a day and want to have babies (which they will support by stripping and selling drugs) are my favorites. They make me not want to have kids, ever. What cracks me up is they have ALL already picked out their babynames.

"If ah have a boy, his name will be Jerome or Jamaal or Gorfleegle. If ah have a girl, I will name her Shalonda, Laquonda, or Babomba."

One girl actually said, "I only sleep with older guys, cuz they can get jobs, and I'ma need my babydaddy to pay child support cuz my ass don't wanna work."

*sporkity*

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Exaaaaactly. Maury's show brings out all the highlights of humanity. It's the sinister gleam in his eyes when he looks at the gangsta some hobag dragged in and says, "Wakim, you ARE the father!"

This, of course, is beaten only by the gloating glower of demonic glee when some girl has come back FOR THE NINTH TIME to find out who the father of her baby is, because she's just not sure which guy she was banging at the time, and Maury crushes her soul with another round of "Jamal, you are NOT the father," and she runs off screaming and crying offstage, but Maury is merciless, and follows her off and continues his grueling investigation.

[kokopellinelli]

This always cracks me up:

"Maury, I am one hundred percent sure Jason is the father."

"Jason, you are not the father."

Next time, same girl, same kid:

"Maury, I am one thousand percent sure that Jamaal is the father."

"Jamaal, you are not the father."

Next time, same girl, same kid:

"Maury, I am one million percent sure that Bob is the father!"

"Bob, you are not the father."

And the girls who always insist before the test that William is the only POSSIBLE father, because she never ever slept with anyone else. Then he's NOT the father, and they're like, "Well, okay. There's one other person it could be." And THAT guy's not the dad, so they say, "Well, okay. I slept with twenty other people."

Being witness to other people's sex faux pas are such a trashy and satisfying way to feel normal.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I want to be Maury Povich when I grow up. That show is pure genius.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Dammit, dammit, dammit, and... goddammit.

[linguafranca.livejournal.com]

And the nine-times-ers always say, "I'm A THOUSAND percent sure Wakim's the father!" and then he's not. Heh.

My favorites are the guys who say, "Her baby's not mine because she's a slut!" Um, did you sleep with her? Yes? You could be the father!

[kayepants.livejournal.com]

But Maury sends all the little brats to boot camp! It's genius!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Sending the deadbeats to prison for a sample of the big house life is fun too... Go Maury!

[kayepants.livejournal.com]

But do you cry when they come back all reformed? You do with the kids.

Admit it.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Maury only makes me weep with laughter.

Maury: Nick, we asked you if you had sex with other women while dating Moesha. You said no; the lie detector said THAT was a lie.
Nick: That's a lie!
Moesha: THE LIE DETECTOR DOES NOT LIE!
Me: BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! *weep*

Maury: And now we're going to bring back those cute quintuplets that we had on the show a few years ago because they're so damn cute and everyone in the audience loved them and their cuteness and welcome back the Cutetuplets!
Me: WAAAAAAH! Maury sux today! *power off*

[iamspecial.livejournal.com]

Maury makes boot camp a verb. As in: "Boot-camp my Wild and Sexy Teen!"

[fragglechick.livejournal.com]

Am I the only one who thinks todays icon looks like young Master Ledge?...

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Well, he DOES seem like someone who would routinely flip off a box of harmless kittens...

[afterwards.livejournal.com]

Where is that icon from? I love it!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Penny Arcade, speaking on why they ran a charity fundraiser:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2003-12-03

[afterwards.livejournal.com]

Eeeeee! Kittens! *loves*