13 August 2004 LJ Answers

(Check your calendars, dear Quiz participants - today is Friday the 13th! Please take appropriate cautions to avoid the fates listed in Question No. 6. -AL)

"What? No Sting question this week?" -

xgreenjudasx

(Eh. Sting is so two quizzes ago. We're into blind guys now. -CV)

1. If you find yourself staying at Camp Crystal Lake, you are either at karate camp with your moderator chaosvizier or starring in what classic 80's horror movie?

"While staying in a camp with Jason would be damn scary, karate with

chaosvizier is far worse. Here's why:

Our hapless LJDQ admin found himself going for his second degree black belt one evening, while his good friend (me) and some freaky hellspawn woman that claims to know him looked on. CV was doing well, showing off his fancy moves for everyone, posing with weapons, etc. Then came time for him to battle the black belts. He could take them on singly pretty easily so a couple of them mobbed him, making for some great pictures on my part and, unbeknownst to the crowd, a budding malfunction in CV's karate trousers. CV-san fought off several of his dojomates, never stopping for a moment to rest - pure determination fueled his performance. Karate punches flew, kicks were launched and children wailed. Finally, it came time for our hero to face down his Sensei in a display of raw karate power. They bowed and each tossed a few kicks and jabs, testing the other and separating for a moment to commence the real attack.

That's when his pants fell down. Alas, a camera error foiled my attempt to photograph the shining moment of CV's martial career... though perhaps for the good of us all we are spared the image of his newly degi-ed sweaty ass." -

fizrep

(EXACTLY the story I had in mind when I wrote this question. +1, reading my mind. So, CV, how do you say, "Excuse me, may I pull up my pants?" in Japanese? -AL)

("Onegai shimasu, zubon o agete yoroshii desuka?" – CV)

(+1 to

ladybugbutt for the translation. -CV)

"Caddyshack??? Yes it IS a horror flick!!!" -

seolta

(Bill Murray is NOT horror. Your blasphemy will not be forgotten. -CV)

"Ishtar" -

impulsezip

(Not even close, but oh-so-horrific. Half credit. -CV)

"The one with absolutely no naked Hooters, whatsoever. You see kiddies, back in my day, we relied on plot and acting to convey true horror, rather than CGI, smut, and pure gore. Example, "The Exorcist." Scariest fucking movie, ever! Period. No aliens, no big ass monsters, no naked hooters. Just Satan and 200 gallons of split pea soup . . . and some stellar acting and crucifix fucking. That's why the film was so damned scary! Simplicity." -

xgreenjudasx

(An excellent assessment of classic horror filmography. -CV)

(You know, for all this description, I'm not sure if

xgreenjudasx knew the answer or not. -1 for vagueness. -AL)

"Friday the 13th where a once thought dead UN guy who died in an unfortunate karate sporting accident goes around murdering hapless teens." -

matt_ledgerwood

(Ah yes, now I recall that seminal classic and the scene that made it great...
Teen #4: Please, you can’t kill me, you’re a peacekeeper!
Dead UN guy: And now I’ll keep pieces of you!
*hack* *blood spurt* *scream of horror* *cue cheesy music*
I love classic cinema. -CV)

"'Camp Get Laid and Die'. It was originally a sex education video produced by Catholic Nuns on the evils of premarital sex." -

doomgirl

(Alas, not effective enough; 8 sequels and innumerable copycat series later, and those wacky teens still haven't learned. -CV)

Correct Answer: Friday the 13th.

"Ch-ch-ch-cha.... "Friday the 13th"? Kill her, mommy!" -

madkitty

2. What was the name of this 1972 single by Stevie Wonder, off the album "Talking Book?"

"I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that Stevie Wonder can't read the Daily Quiz, and you have failed to provide a talking book version, so I am showing solidarity." -

perkyczarlet

(The politically correct way to cover for not knowing the answer. -AL)

"Bag balm. [Blame

angledge for putting this concept in all our heads.]" -

pisica

(Stevie Wonder most certainly did NOT need Bag Balm. -1. -CV)

(And I'll point out that no-one else has used Bag Balm in their answers since being introduced to the concept. Maybe it's just you! -AL)

"In 1972, my parents got married and started scrumping like wild weasels. Since it wasn't until 1973 that this scrumping resulted in progeny, and I'm not blessed with pre-conception memories, I have no clue what single you're talking about." -

sskipstress

(And the LJDQ Vocabulary Word of the Week is "scrump", as listed here in

sskipstress's Dictionary Of The English Language:

scrump /skrump/ v.tr. engage in conjugal relations with another.
Your LJDQ Homework Assignment: Use "scrump" in next week's quiz. -AL&CV)

"I have no clue, but I'm guessing he was playing the piano" -

cheese_girl

(A good guess. Correct, even. But not quite the answer we were looking for. -CV)

(You weren't the only person with no idea what the answer to this question was. -AL)

"Friday Night's Alright for Stumbling" -

fizrep
"How a Blind Man Reads" -

notevenu
"Shouting Chapter" -

spacenut3737
"Hmm-hmm-Him" -

djdysfunction
"I Just Called to Say Dialing The Phone is Harder if You're Blind" -

madkitty

"'Very Superstious. Writings on the Wall.' Only line of the entire song I now, but MAN what a kick ass funk organ solo. I like to do solos on my funk organ." -

xgreenjudasx

(You can solo on my funk organ any day. -CV)

"Superstition. Wasn't he some blind dude?" -

deinemuse

(Finally, one right answer! And yes, our man Stevie is blind. -AL)

Correct Answer: Superstition.

3. In Latin American countries, Friday the 13th isn't considered a bad-luck day, but _______ the 13th is.

"It is bad luck to eat a 13th taco because you are liable to explode (or implode depending on filling)" -

spiffington

(Exactly what kind of taco filling would cause you to IMPLODE? -AL)

"Joséday, which North America got rid of a long time ago, for obvious reasons." -

funkyplaid

(Very obvious. -CV)

(No idea. –CV)

"Ricky Martin's 13th album, also 1-12th." -

impulsezip

"I don't speak Latin." -

doomgirl

(Thank you, Vice-President Quayle. -CV)

"Vierdes?" -

d4b

(Your español needs some work. Menos uno. -CV)

"You'd think it would be Monday, but no, those wily Latin Americans don't seem to have problems with Mondays. Maybe it's because they still observe the Siesta there. How bad can the first day back at work be each week if you get to take a nap after your lunch break? Because of this habit of taking a siesta, it isn't until Tuesday (Lunes in the local lingo) that Latin American workers have put in enough of a work week to dread the day, making Lunes el Trece the most feared day in Latin America." -

sskipstress

(Except that lunes means Monday in Spanish. Tuesday is martes. And the names of the weekdays are not capitalized. -AL)

(Un otro menos uno. -CV)

Correct Answer: Tuesday

"In Latin American countries, Friday the 13th isn't considered a bad-luck day, but when you're counting the days that you've been on a small raft with 343 other people and you haven't yet spotted land, the 13th day is bad luck." -

lizature

4. Name all of the marshmallows that are found in that delicious, nutrition-packed breakfast cereal, Lucky Charms.

"Snap, Crackle, and Poop" -

ghostwriterxx
"Special K, XTC, PCP, PVP, DVD, IUD, and 3" -

xgreenjudasx
"Pink syringes, yellow condoms, orange bandages, green toilets, blue pyrite, and purple willies." -

funkyplaid
"Some kind of fuckin' horseshoes, clovers, hearts, stars, diamonds, crack pipes, crowbars, MAC-10's, used tampons, and discarded babies." -

djdysfunction

(These answers are lists of things I don't want to find in my breakfast cereal. -AL)

"Dunno what the little green leprechaun who advertised them tasted like, he never stuck around long enough on the box to try. But if smugness had a flavour, he'd be the main ingredient." -

spiffington

"I know...up, down, charm, strange, top, and bottom." -

impulsezip

(Thanks, we were wondering who would be our Geek of the Week! Here's your –1. -CV)

"sporty marshmallow, scary marshmallow, ginger marshmallow, posh marshmallow, baby marshmallow," -

matt_ledgerwood

(Tell me what you want. I mean, what you really, really want. -CV)

"Clover, diamond, heart, club, and some special ones like horseshoes, I think. I dunno really what do I look like a fucking leprechaun?" -

deinemuse

(You know, usually it's the moderators who ask the questions around here, but

deinemuse has raised an important issue: does she look like a fucking leprechaun? Let's find out!

Here's

deinemuse's LJ icon:

But here's how she appears through when viewed through our magically suspicious LJDQ camera:

So, the answer is: yes, you DO look like a fucking leprechaun.

-AL)

"I don't know anything about Lucky Charms either. My mother never gave us any commercial cereal. We had organic cereal. No sugar, no preservatives, no good stuff of any kind. It was called Unlucky Charms. We had twigs and pebbles and nuts and grass and burrs and acorns and soynuts - they're magically nutritious, see. Wacky hippies." -

perkyczarlet

"When they first introduced the rainbow marshmallows, some gay activists snuck into the factory and rigged the diamond maker to make triangles and hooked up the pink goo tube to it." -

sskipstress

(Did she just say 'pink goo tube'? -CV)

"Purple horseshoes, blue diamonds, green clovers, red balloons, yellow moons, orange Protestants." -

afterwards

"I'd like to take a moment and ask exactly how someone decided to call the things in Lucky Charms 'marshmallows'. They are hard and squeak against your teeth when you bite them. They are more like packing peanuts than marshmallows. Real marshmallows are soft." -

krick

"Marshmallows are full of cow-bits, ugh!" -

verdandiweaves

(Yeah, but mmmm boy, cow bits. -CV)

(Which kind have cow bits, real marshmallows or tooth-squeaking fake ones? -AL)

"I can't name any of em, but I'm sure they are all magically delicious" -

cheese_girl

(Mainly because of all the pureed leprechaun they mix into the marshmallow vats. -CV)

"Um, Purple Hearts, Bronze Stars...oh, wait. I'm getting the Lucky Charm marshmallows confused with my time in 'Nam." -

b7cy

(John Kerry’s Lucky Charms only had three Purple Hearts in them. What a ripoff. -CV)

"John, Mary, Seth, Betty, Jen, Bart, Melissa, Sam, Danny, Don...is it mean to eat them after I've named them?" -

lizature

(Not at all! Named marshmallows become cannibalistically delicious! - AL)

"They have names?" -

d4b

Correct Answer: I have to admit, when I wrote this question, I did not realize there were so many different kinds of marshmallows in Lucky Charms. The answer I had in mind was: pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds, & purple horseshoes. If you listed any of these, full credit.

(We'll go with the old school "pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds" (and purple horseshoes), because that's what we all grew up with, and fuck this new shit. However, the current official marshmallow roster is "pink hearts, blue moons, orange or shooting stars, green clovers, red balloons, purple horseshoes, pots of gold, and rainbows."

WTFever. Lucky, you're a sellout! - CV)

"Speaking of Red Balloons, was anyone else subjected to the movie The Red Balloon over and over again when they were a kid? Or was that just an artsy New York City thing?" -

marasca

(Nope. I did see Red Balloon 2: Revenge of the Balloon, which was quite entertaining. -CV)

5. On 14 April 1970, an oxygen tank exploded onboard a lunar spacecraft, but the three-man crew safely returned to Earth three days later. What was the spacecraft's name?

"The Good Ship Lollipop." -

marasca

(And how many licks did it take you to get to the center of that answer? -CV)

"Erm... really havent a clue but there is a spaceship in Button Moon... look see, it's made out of a Heinz beans tin so no oxygen tanks to explode and jeopardize the life of Mr Spoon!!" -

seolta

(Not you too ... -CV)

(Apparently, CV, there was some children's TV show in Britain featuring Mr. Spoon the space traveler:

Button Moon

It wasn't just

spiffington spouting gibberish after all. -AL)

"That would be Apollo 13. But in 1985, many things exploded aboard Apollo Creed. He wasn't as lucky as Tom Hanks was. He didn't make it." -

djdysfunction
(+1, Rocky IV. -CV)

"Apollo 13. You kind of wonder why they didn't just go straight from 12 to 14 in the numbering scheme, like those hotels that don't have a floor 13. Are those real, by the way? I swear I read it somewhere." -

afterwards

(Let's ask

spacenut3737 what he thinks! -CV)

"Apollo (Oh crap why didn't we do what hoteliers do?) 13" -

spacenut3737

"I don't know why NASA didn't name it Phoebus ΔIII or Apollo XIII or (insert Arabic translation of Apollo here) 13. Mixing numbers and languages like that is so tacky." -

sskipstress

(I agree uno hundred prozent. -CV)

Correct Answer: Apollo 13.

"I wasn't even born yet. It was not my fault. Oh wait, the name of the craft? Um ... Millenium Falcon? Where's the remote?" -

doomgirl

(I don't think a paltry oxygen leak would have stopped Han Solo from making it home ok. Although Kevin Bacon would make a fine Chewbacca. -CV)

"... and kevin bacon made it back to earth in time for some more footloose." -

deinemuse

"it was totally Kevin Bacon's fault. What an ass." -

b7cy

6. What would happen to you if you broke a mirror while stepping on a crack under a ladder as a black cat crossed your path?

"You'd have a bleeding hand and a limp with a bucket of paint rammed on your head and howling in your ears. It would sound something like this: 'Ow, knackers...thunk, splooge, whoooooraorawwwoarrrrr, ffffftttt!'" -

spiffington

(And the LJDQ Onomatopaeic Award this week goes to ...

spiffington! -CV)

"I wonder. Get over here, Hans, let's find out!" -

perkyczarlet

(+1, abusing the other moderator. -AL)

"Be cursed into answering your cousin's internets bizarre trivia knowledge quiz every week for the REST of your life." -

matt_ledgerwood

(+1, abusing the other moderator. -CV)

(I warned you not to mess with that mirror, dear cousin. No use crying about your fate now. -AL)

"If this happened to

chaosvizier, I would take a picture and giggle." -

doomgirl

(Twice in one quiz? That's just not right. -CV)

"You trip on the crack, falling on the mirror shards, knocking over the ladder, which falls on the cat. In America, we call this Slapstick Comedy or The Opening Scene of Another Horrible Adam Sandler Movie." -

marasca

(Another Adam Sandler movie? That's bad luck, all right. The horror! -CV)

"You'd be struck by lightning. And have bad luck for the rest of your life. Which wouldn't be too long, cause you know, the lightning and all." -

madkitty

"This involves 2 sets of double negatives so if 2 negatives make a positive and 2 postitives make a positive, then surely this situation would have no effect on you whatsoever - unless you belive in that sort of thing and then it's mind over matter and your screwed." -

lolafae

"Dood, remember that scene from Indiana Jones? That was pretty in comparison. Better put the tarps up." -

funkyplaid

(One can only hope that you're referring to the scene where the Ark of the Covenant is opened by the Nazis. Or maybe the scene where The Big Nazi gets hit with an airplane propellor. Or where the guy drinks out of the wrong Holy Grail. Or where Mola Ram rips out some poor git's heart. -1 for vagueness. -CV)

(Put the tarps up like they did in that movie ... you know, in the office when they kill that guy ... ? -AL)

(You mean Lethal Weapon 2? -CV)

Correct Answer: We'll let the movie Apollo 13 speak for us:

"So you're not at all worried about the number 13? Even though your launch is scheduled for 13:13, and you'll be entering the moon's atmosphere on April 13th?" - "Well, I had a black cat walk over a broken mirror under the lunar module ladder, and nothing bad's happened yet."

And that's it for this week, kiddies! A big thank-you & +5 to

marasca for providing technical support for the LJDQ camera. Be careful out there today - & if you see someone putting up tarps, RUN!

Rock on,

Ang & Hans.