ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 11 April 2011

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"I just realised, that in the time it takes me to write the answers to this quiz, Nicolas Cage will have thought up another crappy movie to make." -

demon_666

1. Who was the cover model on Sports Illustrated's 25th Anniversary Swimsuit Edition?

"All I know about the SI swimsuit issue is that every time I see one, the cover model appears to be getting a seriously uncomfortable amount of sand in seriously uncomfortable places." -

florahart

(Hence the not-so-well-known song by R.E.M., "Sand in the place where you pee" -CV)

"Optimus Prime" -

dslartoo

(No, that was the swimsuit edition of "Car and Driver" magazine. -CV)

"I call unfair!! Y'all are completely dienfranchising a full half of your quizlings....those of us who read the swimsuit issue for the articles." -

tweeti

(Those of you who read the magazine for the articles should be doing better on our sports questions, if that were truly the case... ;-) -CV)

"Me! Looking back, I probably should have shaved my legs, or gotten a tan or something. Maybe sucked in the beer vault a little." -

mattwolf

"The problem with this question is you're assuming that anyone ever bothered to learn any model's name." -

domestik_fucker

"I'm betting it was some stupid skinny supermodel with poofy lips and boobs the size of basketballs. I hate those kinds of women." -

ifeedformula

(Personally, I'm not into the poofy lips. -CV)

"Airbrushed Titties" -

lots42

"That's NOT where her eyes are!" -

n5iln

(...she has eyes? -CV)

"I don't know, but I'll be she was younger than the magazine." -

jmthane

"I don't know, the one hand that was holding the magazine covered her name." -

drbear

"I vote for this in the most creative swimsuit category [BARELY SAFE FOR WORK]" -

sskipstress

" Carrie Fisher's milkshake brings all the Ewoks to the yard. -CV

" -

kenshardik

"Alien From LA pretty much ruined Kathy Ireland for me. I mean, I'd still hit it (even now), but the moment she spoke: Moment - DEAD." -

freezer818,

i_calql8

"Kathy Ireland? she was incredibly hawt when I was a teenager!" -

lbmango

(Odds are she was incredibly hawt when she was a teenager too. -CV)

Correct Answer: Kathy Ireland

2. What is the stage name of Joan Marie Laurer?

"Gigantor" -

wiredwizard

"Bella Swan" -

seferin

(I might have paid good money to see her hit Edward with a suplex and then a piledriver. -CV)

"STING! Just kidding...we all know that Sting is clearly a man's name, while Joan is usually a woman's name (outside of Brazil, and inside Brazil, it's all about the Beach Volleyball Team...where was I? Oh, yes...) It must be Joan 'Love Is Just A Four-Letter Word' Baez." -

etumukutenyak

"Joan of Arc" -

jmthane,

battleraven
"Joan Collins" -

alfvaen
"Joan Crawford" -

lbmango
"Joan Jett" -

primavera

"JLau" -

florahart

"Lady Jaja" -

la_trombonista

"Carmen Sandiego" -

akiyasan

"I'm torn between thinking of Little House on the Prarie and Louisa May Alcott. Either way it's not Marie Osmond." -

conjure_lass

"Yndya? Yymyn? Something like that. It's usually some Far/Middle Eastern country with y's where there oughtn't be." -

timba

(My stage name just became Yzbykystyn. -CV)

"The hero of Canton, the man they call...Joan" -

i_calql8

"Chynna Doll, which pretty much the worst-mangled trade name for cheap bodyguard." -

amphelice

"Chyna Girl. Iggy and Bowie ran their own underground wrestling league in Berlin the '70's, to fund the albums, and for blow." -

kristinmachina

"Chyna. Yes, I watch professional wrestling. I like the athleticism and the drama, the physicality, and the humor. And it is not at all gay... by which I mean that it's a little gay." -

kenshardik

(If you're a man attracted to Chyna, then it's a lot gay. -CV)

"Was 'China' copyrighted so she couldn't get that as a stage name?" -

holmes221b

"[Image safe for work, but you may still regret clicking on this link anyway.]" -

germankitty

"Did you realise her initials stand for "Jugs Men Love"? I don't know who she is but I hope she has nice boobs just because of that." -

demon_666

(Click the above link to judge for yourself. Don't say I didn't warn you. -CV)

Correct Answer: Chyna

"Like Myna, but the birds are less annoying" -

zihuatanejo

3. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the original singer:
Smokestack, fatback,
many miles of railroad track
All night radio, keep on runnin'
through your rock 'n' roll soul
All night diners keep you awake,
hey, on black coffee and a hard roll

"What has been seen can never be unseen" -

n5iln

"I immediately started dancing to this one, which leads me to think this is Billy Joel, but I don't recognize it, which is really not meaningful..and where am I going with this?" -

etumukutenyak

"Whatever happened to nice patriotic songs involving macaroni?" -

sskipstress

"Coming to America, by Eddie Murphy with backup by Sexual Chocolate" -

athousandsmiles

(Mmmmm...chocolate. -CV)

"Something by Europe? but, Europe isn't a country! Bad LJDQ!" -

lbmango

(True. That might have been some other quiz. -CV)

"Born in the USA" -

florahart

(Similar... -CV)

"'Detroit Flop City' by Charlie Sheen and the Warlocks from Mars." -

kristinmachina

"I continue to be saddened by the lack of an easily accessible waffle house in the area. I adore it, and it's not there! Where is the justice? WHERE?!?!" -

frequencyshift

"The mention of train brings the movie 'Unstoppable' to mind for some odd reason...what was that movie even about, anyways?" -

sticky9fingers

(It was about a train that was going a certain speed and it kept on going at that speed and the engineers tried to change its speed because its speed was too high. I think it was called "The Train that Wouldn't Slow Down." -CV)

"Doesn't sound like a fun night out to me. Unless maybe you're stoned. Then it would be hilarious. Like Harold and Kumar Go On Amtrak." -

ifeedformula

"That Song Right Before Apollo Gets Killed (Oops, Spoilers!)" -

freezer818

(+1, Rocky IV. -CV)

Correct Answer: James Brown, "Living in America"

4. In the musical "My Fair Lady", Eliza Doolittle finally demonstrates 'proper' pronunciation in which song?

"Do-Re-Mi" -

dslartoo

"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" -

freezer818

"Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious" -

sjl

"She likes big butts and she cannot lie, you other brothers cannot deny..." -

mattwolf

"In America, they haven't spoken it for years!" -

n5iln

"Proper pronounciation? Gotta be a Black Eyed Peas song." -

kristinmachina

"Talk to the Animals" -

sticky9fingers

"The Chaosvizier Fears Beer Spilled on His Rear (Llovellama-Angledge Dance Mix)" -

etcet

(If I spilled beer on my rear, I'm drunker than I thought... -CV)

"The Life of the Wife Is Ended By the Knife" - STEWIE GRIFFIN and 8 other quizlings

"The Rang in Spang Stays Mangly on the Plang" -

zihuatanejo

(Dang right. -CV)

"'Lorraine in Spain Feels Mainly the Pain' -- which always reminds me that I can see Clearly now, because Lorraine is gone." -

etumukutenyak

"Terrain in Maine is stained with acid rain" -

i_calql8

"The snakes in Spain stay mainly on the plane." -

lbmango,

darthparadox

"I prefer it in German: 'Ës grünt sö grün, wënn Spänïens Blütën blühën'. Does that make it more Metal?" -

germankitty

Correct Answer: "The Rain in Spain (Falls Mainly on the Plain)"

"what rain?" -

holmes221b

5. What professional athlete played the lead human character in the film "Space Jam"?

"I was just skimming the quiz, was going to come back and maybe actually play this week...but now I have Space Jam on repeat in my head.
Everybody get up, it's time to slam now.
We got a real jam goin' down.
Welcome to the Space Jam
Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam, alright.
I don't know if I hate you for getting it stuck in my head or myself for knowing the lyrics without having to look them up." -

la_chica_08

(+1 to us. -AL&CV&LL)

"I loved that movie." -

holmes221b, and ONLY

holmes221b

"Bill Murray. He's the fucking lead of any movie he's in." -

paradoxotaur and 7 others

"Larry Bird" -

jmthane

"Eddie the Eagle" -

alfvaen

"Shaquille O'Neal portrayed Michael Jordon in than film" -

seferin

"For some reason, I'm picturing Earthworm Jim" -

akiyasan

"I didn't know Marvin the Martian was a professional athlete..." -

battleraven

(He was, until he got banned for taking too much performance-enhancing Illudium Q-38. -CV)

"Hare Jordan" -

drbear

"I think the only thing I liked about that movie was Lola Bunny. It was one of my first clues that I might need to question my sexuality and grip on reality." -

conjure_lass

"Michael Jordan. We have you to thank for inspiring Shaq to star in a movie where he had to wear that gold gene outfit. Oh the embarrassment..." -

demon_666

"A Hane's commercial came on yesterday, and I told my husband there is just NO WAY they tell Michael what the people coming up to him are going to say. Thanks to Space Jam, we have empirical PROOF the man can't act ~~that well~~ at all. The commercials have to be his genuine reaction to these nutjobs coming up to him and showing him their underthings." -

timba

"Michael 'I'm Not A Traitor To The City That Loved Me (Unlike LeBron James)' Jordan. not that I'm bitter or anything." -

cold_clarity

"took me way too long to figure out that yes, Jordan is a country, for a minute I couldn't figure out how he fit the theme..." -

ionicaq

"Now that I work at a company with a foreign affairs department, I can find Jordan on a map. My mommy is very proud of me." -

sskipstress

Correct Answer: Michael Jordan

6. Change your origin! Aside from your current place of birth, what country would you most like to hail from? Reasons, as always, do not have to make sense.

"Wait, the LJDQ makes sense? All these years I've been doing this wrong." -

akiyasan

"The Shire" -

dslartoo, who is the only person who wants to get shorter

"Having fallen to Earth in a freak meteor shower, my origins remain uncertain at best." -

wiredwizard

(Thank you, Clark Kent. -CV)

"If it's nae Scottish, it's crap!" -

kristinmachina

"Canada, eh. They've got Timbits and polite people, and gay marriage for the win." -

etumukutenyak

(One of my best friends is named Tim. I cannot think of Timbits without cringing a lot. -CV)

"England, where I could have gotten an invite to attend Hogwarts" -

jmthane

" Brazil has so much to offer. So very very much. -CV

" -

drbear

"Wherever those schoolgirls in the miniskirts walk around a lot. Whichever one that country is." -

mattwolf

"I'm torn between Turning Japanese while Walking Like an Egyptian and listening to Mexican Radio in the Wild Wild West." -

etcet

(Hey, Don't Cry for me, Argentina. I was Born in the USA, which means I can Blame Canada for when I make bad puns like "Greeced Lightning". -CV)

"Germany! The place is gorgeous, the food is yummy, the men are hotties, I love the language, and the beer is second only to Belgium." -

battleraven

(I'm half-German. Does that make me half-hottie? Schweeeeet. -CV)

"Germany! Beer and brats! Though, Germany NOW, not Germany THEN. Wouldn't want to deal with Hitler, the mass-murdering fuckhead." -

paradoxotaur

"I think I'd like to be from Narnia because over there the animals can talk and they probably have a lot more interesting things to say than most humans I know." -

tweeti

"Ivory Coast. They have cocoa beans and revolution, which I hear is all the rage these days. Nothing goes with a chocolate bar quite like an AK-47." -

frequencyshift

"Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land and we will call it... This Land." -

athousandsmiles

(+1, Firefly. -CV)

"The land where common sense ist just that, COMMON" -

germankitty

And there you have it. A quiz full of countries, making us a truly global phenomenon. At least, that sounds pretty cool. We do have a wide range of quizlings from many countries, which at least makes us international. Why countries? Why not? I like countries. Countries are my job. Cheeky countries.

Hope all is well with you this fine April, and we are always glad you're all here playing the quiz and bringing the funnies. Just because some cheeky Russians wanted to shut us down doesn't mean the comedy can't go onward. Comedy uber alles! Bring on the funnies! Keep on truckin'!

See you all tomorrow for more quizly goodness!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL