LJ Daily Answers: 4 March 2005

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Much like the water in New York City, this week's quiz was metallic-flavored. I had to steel myself to handle the over 140 responses we received, and only the brazen aid of silent_r_infork kept me from zincing into despair. His vociferrous comments kept me abrasst of the situation, and after careful editin' and ironing out of some rough edges, we're lead to believe that the quiz is now complete. Enjoy!



1. Which movie featured the characters Oddjob and Pussy Galore as allies of the titular character?

"Tits and pussy in one question. I'm liking this quiz already!" - buzz

(We aim to please. -CV)

"YOU SAID TITULAR HAHAHA!" - kokopellinelli, hitferret, okuninushii, trouble166, diimmortales
"Is that like spectacular tits?" - gnomeprincess

"I wonder how many "Goldmember" jokes you're going to get. DAMN YOU, MIKE MYERS!!!" - drewbeartx

(That is the correct answer. +1. -CV)

"I'm sorry. I can't think of something both clever and vaguely porny enough." - tabbyclaw

(-1, lack of teenage boy humor. -SR)

"Does anyone else think that when one character is named 'Pussy Galore,' the other guy should really be 'Handjob' instead of 'Oddjob'?" - irisamergin

"Weird Porn: The Musical" - wowthatisminty

(...I will not make a joke about attempting to sing an opera while performing oral, I will not make a joke about attempting to sing an opera while performing oral... -SR)

"'Spongebob The Movie'" - lots42

"Tele-tubbies - Shoot the Sun" - doomgirl

"One Night In Chyna. A porn joke was inevitable, and I had to pick one of the worst ones I knew of. Please, for the love of anything, don't actually post this answer." - mirrorslie

(Before my stint as a guest mod, I would have taken pity on you and hoped the true mods would look upon you with kindness. However, Power corrupts, and I post your answer simply because I may. But I am a benevolent mod. +1 for giving me a chance to flaunt my power. -King SR)

(And if he didn't do it, I would have. -CV)

"Pussy Galore reminds me of Kill Bill's Pussy Wagon. It had bright colours." - damanique

"is it really sad that I didn't get the Pussy Galore title until my senior year of high school? I thought she just really loved cats." - prettypinkkitty
"Its wrong that I was 12 before I realized her name was Pussy and not "Pushy" I thought the joke was that she was just really bossy or something" - tarpo

(You two need to meet up. -CV)

"It has, however, just occurred to me why Miss Moneypenny never gets any; her name is comparatively boring. If she'd just change it to Fuckmehard Knightley, she might actually get some heaving Bonding action." - princesskraehe

"I would like to watch Sean Connery make out with Mike Myers. That would make my day." - daunzerly

(-1, because... eeeww. -CV)

"The Spy who loved me long time." - notpunk

"I'll take "The Rapists" for 20." - kayelechner

(That's "therapists", Mr. Connery. -CV)

"I can't remember which Bond movie that was, but that question made me feel funny on my bathing suit area." - bitchness

"If you cloned the titular (nyuk nyuk, you said tit) character four times, you'd have five goldfingers, which is enough for one oddhandjob." - chlaal

"Golfdinger, in which James Bond went undercover at an international luxury golf course to identify and apprehend the little gnome that was going around leaving little dents in the side of the golf buggies..." - sasscat

"Debbie does Bond aka Bond's Long Goldfingers" - baisleac

"I wish you guys could see the dance I'm doing as I'm singing "Mr. Goldfinger" to myself at this moment. Mr. GooooooooooooooooooooooooooldinGAH! dah dah daaaaaaaaaah dum dum dum DAH DAH dah daaaaaaaaah I'm so sultry." - fantom07

"James Bond and that one where that lady killed that guy with her thighs" - psychoticspy

(No, but since Goldeneye does exist within the theme of the quiz, I'll let you have jazz hands. -CV)

"Man With The Golden Gun is better, though, if you're going for total surrealism. The villain's identifying mark is his supernumerary nipple, and he has a midget sidekick who's plotting to kill him and appears to have his tacit approval to do so. Large portions of the movie take place in a creepy little funhouse setup in the villain's basement. At one point, James Bond requires Q to supply him with a prosthetic supernumerary nipple so he can impersonate the villain." - elsajeni

(Midget sidekick: Herve Villechaize, Tattoo from Fantasy Island. Also, you forget to mention that Scaramanga's gun is cleverly disguised as a pen, cigarette case, and something else, and that it only carries one bullet. But, all in all, extra nipple takes the cake. -CV)

(I'm sorry, but I have never seen a nipple take a cake. Ever. -SR)

"Is Sean Connery still alive? I forget." - rainbowjehan

(Oh rainbowjehan, you make me so sad. -CV)

Correct Answer: Goldfinger

"Speaking of horrible last names, mine's Cox. Yeah, yeah, but the guy I live with? His last name is Friend. Now, were I ever to have children out of this union (and I won't, so don't worry), can you imagine the poor kindergarten teacher calling roll? "Is Ima Cox-Friend here? Ima Cox-Friend?" So totally a Bart Simpson prank call." - gethsemane



2. Congratulations! You've just swum about 2.4 miles, biked 112 miles, and ran 26 miles. What have you done?

"Died." - almost all of you. Obviously LJDQ is not drawing from the healthiest of the pack. You guys need to start working out more.

"I've died and gone to hell, haven't I? Oh God, and the whole time, Richard Simmons is chasing me to make me go faster. In a Speedo. Hell hath no fury like Simmons in a Speedo." - meandstuff

"My heart is probably going burst any second now so I'd like to leave my iPod to my sister, my cats to my mother and my Australian-version-of-pudding to LJDQ." - limegreen_sloth

"Swam about 4 kilometers, biked about 180 km and ran about 42 km. You anti-metric bastards!" - damanique

"I'll tell you what I DIDN'T do. I DIDN'T find me a stiff drink and I DIDN'T hump me some hookers. Now explain to me, LJDQers, what is wrong with this picture?" - fizrep

"Immigrated to the United States." - princesskraehe

(Gah, not another Canadian! -CV)

"Escaped a pack of zombies?" - sanguinary
"Escaped a marriage proposal." - avron
"Escaped from Alcatraz." - baguette_fiend, warrame, duckalmighty, buzz, lexsboo

(Quite a few escapees in this crowd... -CV)

"Been a Proclaimer's song." - dexfarkin

"You have proved that you are completely and totally batshit insane." - irisamergin

"Hauled your 12 year old male ass away from Michael Jackson." - umbralcorax

"Wasted a lot of fucking time I could have spent checking my email." - moonlitmercury

"Triathlon. (my spellchecker has suggested "Trillian". It has been sacked.)" - lexsboo

(Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti... -SR)

(We apologize for the fault in the LJDQ commentary. One of the mods responsible for commenting has been sacked. -CV)

"I would never, because dude. It involves ACTUAL work. I'll be completing the Silly Putty Man Triathlon, which involves me changing the channels on a television at lightning speed." - prettypinkkitty

"The Twinkie Triatholon. You have the last box of Twinkies on the planet and Roseanne Barr Arnold, fresh off the South Beach Diet is hunting your ass down." - ga_sunshine

"I've done an Iron Man. And boy, did that chafe. Not enough lube in the world, people...not enough lube in the world." - sasscat

Correct Answer: Completed an Ironman Triathlon

"Is it possible for me, as a woman, to do an IronMan? And wow that question came out WAY dirtier than I intended." - empressvesica



3. A type of ammunition often used to kill werewolves, this is also a nickname for a Coors beer. What is it?

"Q: How is American beer like making love in a canoe?
A: Its fucking close to water" - djs_specs, danicia

"Spaceballs: The Ammunition." - superspazmizu

"Rat poison. Oh wait, a bullet... Rat poison-filled bullet!" - ririkit

"really, it's not very nice to kill werewolves, as they're people when the moon isn't full." - lotusbiosm
"I would like point out that it is merely fear of the unknown and lycanthropy-phobia that causes us to kill these poor defenseless creatures" - varda222

(Some public service announcements from our local "Werewolves Are People Too" lobbyists. -CV)

"Man, I was terrified of werewolves as a kid. I think I read some Hardy Boys mystery or something, in which the werewolf was glowing green? And wasn't limited to the full moon? And maybe didn't ever change back into a man? And I'm sure they beat it at the end, because it couldn't very well have involved one of the Hardy Boys getting his throat torn out by a radioactive not-really-a-werewolf. But whatever, it scared the hell out of me." - fyreflyblue

(I think I read every single Hardy Boys mystery ever written, and I don't recall a glowing green werewolf. Maybe that was a Scooby Doo episode you're thinking of. -CV)

"As recent quality films would indicate, silver bullets kill werewolves. They're made entirely of CGI pixels, they are the only species who can kill vampires, and generally any female who hunts them looks damn fine in a corset." - okuninushii
"Unless you watch Underworld, where they have super advanced bullets with liquid silver in them. Which I'm sure nobody remembers because they were too busy ogling Kate Beckinsale in shiny leather." - stormyskies

(You're goddam right I was. -CV)

"Van Helsing? No, wait. Hugh Jackman. No, wait. A stake through the heart? But..don't werewolves eats steaks? So that makes no sense. Garlic. Okay, I'm going with garlic." - uninhibitedmuse

(Sort of, Wolverines are different, no, yes, Schnitzengruben, and no. -CV)

"Silver bullets. Sorry, couldn't think of a witty answer. Please don't drop a tanuki statue on my head." - sethrak

(+1, Super Mario Bros. 3. I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be an SMB3 reference. +0.5, to be on the safe side. SR)

"Also the name of the most popular brand of dildo in the world." - dexfarkin
"Comes with one head or two." - jelymo
"All I can think of is vibrators being fired out of a cannon at a werewolf drinking a beer." - i_am_that_is

(You folks know a bit too much about this subject. -1. -CV)

"*blinks* Man, you would have to live under a non-popculture rock not to know this: silver bullet. I bet it also works on wussy vampires." - mlewys

"Silver bullet. Why silver? I've always wondered." - marasca

(Aluminum bullets? Not threatening. -SR)

"Wasn't that the name of the guy's bike in the movie IT? Does IT really have to be capitalized like that? I mean, it's not an acronym, right? It's not like the really fucked up sequel to E.T. or anything, is it? You know what, I bet I was wrong about the bike thing in the first place. Whatever." - portkey

(IT was followed by the slightly less-successful OT, UT and the straight-to-video YT: We Maintain That It's A Vowel. --SR)

"Silver Pullet: The Deadliest Chicken Under the Moon!" - drewbeartx

Correct Answer: Silver Bullet

"Not to be confused with The Human Bullet and his sidekick Fire Me Boy!" - mcclintock

(+1, The Tick. -CV)



4. According to one fanatical website, who is "The Official German Shepherd Dog of the Millennium"?

"Monica Lewinski" - dv8dragonfly

"Cerberus? I dunno, I can't think of any other dog that's been around that long." - amzrigh

"Frank Black was a german shepherd?" - tabbyclaw

(People actually watched "Millennium"? -CV)

"Please tell me they didn't shoot Old Yeller AGAIN for the celebrations?" - fizrep

(Dog + emotional attachment + rabies + teen boy shooting it = funny. Add overkill, and it's practically porn. ...What? Why's everyone looking at me like that? -SR)

"Do they really have to clarify 'German Shepard' with 'dog'? I mean, does someone out there think some sheep herder named Franz is just the bestest guy evar?!!11!one!" - lexsboo
"Franz Von Damnitfranzisaswedishnameorsomeshitisn'tit" - uncertaincolumn

"" - superspazmizu

(If Barbra Streisand were a dog... -CV)

"I don't know, but if you're going to name a dog that, that dog better be bringing you breakfast in bed and cleaning the house. I'm just sayin'." - buzz
"I'm certain Chewbacca would take offense at being called a dog. Who wants to piss off the Official Wookie of the Millennium Falcon?" - anna_sinistra
"I have no idea, but I'm going to say Chewbacca, because when you don't know the answer to something, reference Star Wars." - stormyskies

(That's how my cousin managed to graduate from med school. It worked out well until that kid died of a gunshot wound and all Aaron could say was, "Let the Wookiee win!" -SR)

"Judging from the metal vibe I'm getting from this weeks quiz, I'm going to say one of those Japanese robot dogs. I predict that this 'Dog of the Millenium' is the prototype for the giant robot dogs that will hunt down the remnants of humanity when the robots take over in 2051." - neon_mongoose

"Two words: Not Me." - nosesonapole

"Your mom?" - sexkittenb

(Someone always has to go there. -CV)

"Lassie's militant cousin, Nazzie." - goat003

"Aluminium the Dog? Copper? Lead? ... Mercury? Lassie? I don't know dogs." - tronella

"I have read the whole Internet, and I have no idea what you're talking about. You must be mistaken." - linguafranca

"Underdog" - ajmcoqui

"Being a rather clever lady, I have realized this must be some sort of metal reference. Sadly, I can not bring myself to belive that someone was cruel enough to name a dog Tungsten. - empressvesica

(I gotta wonder how many LJDQers are going to name their next dog Tungsten just to annoy you. -SR)

"I've got a cool picture of a wolf licking my teeth, though.

It was an interesting experience. I now know what second-hand rotting elk flesh tastes like." - gethsemane

Correct Answer: Rin Tin Tin

"Riki Tiki Tavi's more fun to say, but I'm pretty sure that was the mongoose." - roadparty



5. In the movie "Erin Brokovich" starring Julia Roberts, what was the contaminant that was making people in her town get sick?

"Improperly stored goat urine, from the Coors brewery just outside town." - duckalmighty

"Skank should keep her legs shut for once." - amzrigh
"I might actually have seen Erin Brokovich if I hadn't thought Sandra Bullock was the lead actress. Because honestly, if I want to watch a skank whore do stupid shit, I'll watch porn, thanks." - soleta
"Julia Roberts' (or is it Roberts's?) smile eats small nations." - varda222

(And more Julia hate just kept pouring right in. -CV)

"I missed the whole point of the movie because Julia Roberts' boobs looked fucking incredible. Seriously. For once, I didn't even notice her teeth." - nihilistbear

(Julia Roberts' only fan in this quiz. -CV)

"evidently the chemical's side effect include huge knockers." - lynbug
"probably radio-active something, it always is. Explains why she had the big boobs, probably radio-active something as well." - dracothelizard

(If chemicals and radiation bring larger boobs to the world's people, then bring it on. -CV)

"Celine Dion?" - diannelamerc

"All I remember from that movie is dead frogs. Therefore, the contaminant was poison arrow frogs that migrated north, did the freaknasty and made lots of little poison arrow frogs that filled the water with poison." - nekoama

"" - calankh

"Common sense. You know how rare that is in America. People run miles to avoid it." - danicia

(More to the point, they'll swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and run 26 miles to avoid it. -SR)

"Kryptonite" - jenny_1981

"The only thing that comes to mind is plutonium, but something tells me that's wrong." - jelymo

"I imagine it was some type of mercury. Mercury gets blamed for everything. What contaminated the fish? Mercury. What gave everyone cancer? Mercury. What deformed the children? Mercury. What killed the dinosaurs? Mercury. Why do tornadoes hit trailer parks? Mercury. It's a scapegoat, really." - whiski_sour

"I wish the EPA hadn't found lead in the water at Ithaca Falls so that I could continue to indulge in skinny dipping in the waterfalls." - sskipstress

(We do too. -CV)

"Hot dope chrome wheels, man. Fucking boy racers." - sasscat

"Soylent Green is people!!!" - queen_kiwi
"Actually it was Hexavalent Soylent Green - people are good at many things, but cooling transformers is not among those." - hitferret

Correct Answer: Hexavalent Chromium



6. You've decided to form a heavy metal band. What is going to be your band's name?

"I'd have to go with Kold Sore. It's like the 80s bands with tough, icky names (Ratt! Poison! Wasp!) and it's got the impeccable bad spelling of a current metal band." - theworryrock

"Tangy Mango. OF DEATH." - kokopellinelli

"Pontious Pilot and the Nail Drivers" - digitalpimp
"Laser Jesus and the Quantum Apostles" - sethrak

(I'd pay extra to see these two go at it in a Battle Of The Bands. -CV)

"Lüngfish. Maybe with a few more umlauts" - kenshardik

"Ethereal Nipple Clamps.... Well, it sounded good in my head." - princesskraehe

(Nipple clamps are always the right answer. Always. -SR)

"Double Chocolate Truffles... 'cause really, who doesn't love chocolate?" - baisleac

(-1, reminding me that I work at Godiva and my professional life is shit. -SR)

"All the instruments will be played by dudes, and I (not a dude) will be the lead singer. It will be called 'One Muff Riot.'" - daunzerly

"Quicksilver Kitten. We'd play against Josie and the Pussycats in a battle of the bands. And of course we'd win. We're hard core." - marasca

"You taste like your sister" - tarpo

"Eat. Fuck. Kill." - notpunk

(Speaking on behalf of male college students, for whom your band's name comprises 75% of our time, your band will be an incredible success, no matter what kind of music you play. -SR)

"If I formed one now, it'd most likely be something thought-provoking like 'Rhoid Rogers and the Whirling Butt Cherries,' or perhaps 'Elvis Hitler.' Maybe even 'Bad Username In LJ Tag.'" - dpaul007

"'Hevvy Meddle' It'll be comprised of 4 overweight, gossiping housewives. On the weekends they fix up their daughters with losers 'nice young men.'" - reddholly

"It would be called 'Ex Members of Metallica'. I'd round up all the people who had ever been in Metallica but are not currently and form a band that does covers of Metallica songs." - krick

"Molybdinum. We could make all kinds of stupid "Mo" puns as album titles. "You Wanted Mo", "Mo Than This", etc." - fyreflyblue

"Tungsten Boobies. Because tungsten is the most under-appreciated of all the heavy metals, and boobies make everything better." - neon_mongoose

"Yoko Onno and the Break-ups" - goat003

"Pastede On Yey, with our hit single 'OMG Racecar Bling Bling'" - shinga

"Viking Kitties" - badgerbabe

"Insane Ninja Slut Kitties. Or maybe The Gary Coleman Experience." - empressvesica

(Same thing, really. -SR)

"Invisible Bees. Our t-shirts are patterned just like Charlie Brown's ubiquitous shirt, and all our fans wear big plastic stingers on their asses to our concerts. We're like GWAR." - ldymusyc

"I went to a heavy metal concert once. I cried because it was too loud. In my defense, I was like 10 at the time. Anyway, my band would be called 'Shut The Fuck Up', and we'd play soft heavy metal music." - delorda

Correct Answer: "Newton's Method. Our songs will all be about finding the roots of polynomials. We'll make calculus students cry." - moocow1985

(Because quizlings hate math. -CV)



That's all, folks! March is full-on, we're quizzing, you're playing, and all that's missing is a gin and tonic in my hands.

...

Okay, that's fixed now too. Thanks again for playing, and special thanks to silent_r_infork, who contributed quite nicely to this week's offerings. We're halfway through Lent, and angledge will return once more and grace you with her wisdom and wit. Meanwhile, you've still got me and my legion of guest moderators. And pudding. Remember: tell your friends all about this magical, special place, because you don't want them feeling left out, right? No, of course you don't.

Enjoy your weekend!

Rock on,

CV&SR

Comments

[blunder-buss.livejournal.com]

Man, I haven't been quoted again! *woe*