ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 18 February 2005

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"I think i gotta heart on!" -

vlvtjones

Happy Valentine's Week to all of you, our dear beloved quizlings. That's right, we're totally full of love for you. It's amazing.

Okay, I'm lying. We're spiteful bastards to the core. But we still care enough to give you a weekly quiz. In

angledge's continued absence, we've recruited

sasscat to take on moderating duties. But she got shy, and turned the spotlight over to her pet rock Ex Nihilo. I'm not too hip on teaming up with rocks, but far be it from me to be a mineralistic bigot, so here goes!

1. What breakthrough made Robert K. Jarvik and Barney Clarke famous?

"Purple Dinosaur-Related Answer" - not even going to try to count you all

"The discovery of pandas. IN SPACE!" -

profsparky

"Getting laid despite the last name Jarvik?" -

uncertaincolumn

"Breaking through the sound barrier at faster than 1245 kilometres per hours." -

dracothelizard

(I also travel at 1245 kilometres per hours. It's just a matter of many, many hours. -EN)

"Discovering that it takes exactly 247 licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop." -

neon_mongoose

"I hear that new Starbucks Chantico thing is like a chocolate orgasm in a cup, so I'll go with that." -

mcclintock

(Are chocolate orgasms more sugary than regular orgasms? Do they contain iron and are good for you? We really want to know. -EN&CV)

"Napalm" -

ccaretta

(You're several questions too early. -CV)

"The process that makes it possible to combine chocolate and peanut butter into that miracle of modern science, the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup." -

miss_tress

"They were the first men to find the G-Spot. Without directions." -

jelymo

(And ever since then they've been MAD PIMPIN'. -CV)

"They were the first people to perform an artichoke-heart transplant." -

silk_knickers

"Ripping a guy's still-beating heart out of his chest as he watches?" -

linguafranca

(If I had meant Mola Ram, I would have said Mola Ram. -CV)

"Putting pig hearts into people. They weren't doing it to save people's lives, though. They just wanted to build a race of pig people." -

whiski_sour

"Broken hearted? Talk to Bob - he has the technology, he can rebuild you." -

silversmoke
"We can make him better than he was before Better. Stronger. Faster." -

sskipstress

(+1, The Six Million Dollar Man. -CV)

"Globbely moddgeb geppengoo. Voombar quawrefteekoop. Ombus. Then I bit him." -

kokopellinelli

(And the

spiffington Award For Complete Gibberish goes to...

kokopellinelli! -EN)

"They invented the heart attack, and then developed bypass surgery to fix the damage. Goddamn dirty capitalists." -

marasca

"They found out that the heart is actually round and not flat like once thought." -

theworryrock

"They found the Tin Woodsman's missing heart, and implanted it in Clarke's chest. Now, when the moon is full, he sharpens his axe and heads for the nearest tree, where he cuts it down. Then he breaks into an auto-supply store and gets drunk on the oil until he passes out. He has a morbid fear of rain, sprinkler systems, and swimming pools. He has been known to hang out around the Reynolds Wrap factory, hoping to meet those two ladies from the tin-foil commercials" -

demongrrrl

"The one guy put his organ into the other." -

blujay_

(Actually it was artificial. Battery-powered, even. Make of that what you will. -CV)

"The creator and recipiant of the first artifical heart, respectively. But, jeez, could you imagine trying to get around carrying your heart around like that? That sucker was huge." -

badgerbabe

Correct Answer: Jarvik created the Jarvik 7, the first artificial human heart, and Clarke was its first recipient

2. Name the band and the song:
"Move yourself
You always live your life
Never thinking of the future
Prove yourself
You are the move you make
Take your chances win or loser"

"OMG!!!! I KNOW THIS!!!! I KNOW THIS!!!!!! WAY TO FUCKING GO ME!!!!!" -

the_headhunter

(Congratulations. But you forgot to answer. -EN)

"I have no idea. But I do suddenly have the Hubble Telescope in my head. How's that for random associations?" -

delordra

(The whole telescope? In your head? Does that hurt much? -CV)

(

delordra broke the Hubble!

delordra broke the Hubble! -EN)

"What ever it is, by tomorrow I'll be singing 1.5 lines of it, repeatedly, with no tune to speak of. By tomorrow evening my flat mate will have killed me." -

enigma_o

"'Bork Bork Bork' by the Swedish Chef." -

profsparky

"I have no idea who the hell sings 90% of songs, so I'll just go with Lionel Richie. He sings a lot of those miserable breakup songs." -

mcclintock

"I really can't get it past my head that those sound like Jimmy Eat World lyrics. They have just enough emo sadness mixed with unresolved hope. By which definition, they could also be lyrics from Les Mis." -

aki

"It's ... like Eminem, but not. Too bad." -

3jane
"I'm going to guess that it's not Eminem. I think that's a safe guess." -

roadparty

"Knowing this quiz it must have been The Police." -

marasca
"It's by Sting and its title is "Something To Do With Hearts." Or, it's by the famous band Something To Do With Hearts, which logically implies that its title is "Sting." Or something." -

elsajeni

"shouldn't the last line read "winner or loser" or possibly "win or lose"? Win or loser? What the hell is that?" -

judith_s

(I agree with you completely. I guess when you're a musician you can make up your own grammatical constructs. -CV)

"The band with those two women with REALLY BIG HAIR. One blonde, one brunette. I guess so's you could tell them apart. Later on, of course, it was to hide the grey. And lots of makeup to hide the wrinkles. The tight leather pants did nothing to hide the flab, alas." -

demongrrrl

"lonely heart... or something like that.... um... *jedi mind trick* i know the answers. ALL the answers." -

melster

(*looks down at 'Sith Lords Kick Ass' t-shirt* Nope. Not gonna happen. -Darth CV)

"the tuneful comparative piece on renting versus owning, 'Owner of a Lonely Heart'." -

miss_tress

" They dressed differently back then...

Jon Anderson of Yes went on to become a hippie commune leader who made a living fleecing naive young free lovers out of their assets and preaching the power of lonely hearts. He never quite realised his ambition to build an army of them and take over the world, though." -

eridanusus

Correct Answer: Yes, "Owner of a Lonely Heart"

"By Yes."
"By who?"
"No not by the who, by yes."
"By Yes who?"
"No not the guess who, it's by Yes."
"I don't like your tone." -

theworryrock

3. The legendary exploits of Robin Hood supposedly took place during the reign of which English monarch?

"Fill in your own smart-ass comment about the Disney cartoon version." -

badgerbabe

(Oh, they did. They did. Especially

djs_specs, who took the trouble to offer up the complete lyrics to the Prince John song from the movie. -EN&CV)

"Robin Hood is the only anthropomorphic animal I've ever thought was sexy. Just felt I should share that. Because the LJDQ is all about oversharing." -

elsajeni

(Is that what it's about? And here I thought it was the sinister ducks. -EN)

"Mufasa? Simba? Timon? Pumba? Work with me here." -

uninhibitedmuse

(Congratulations on being the one person who used a different Disney movie. I'll give you +1 just for being contrary. -CV)

"Henry the eighth I am, I am." -

miss_tress,

ccaretta

(Answer the third it's not, it's not. -CV)

"Uther Pendragon" -

lizzyrose89

"Dominar Rygel the 16th." -

chlaal

(I'm just mentioning Farscape in the hopes of getting in a particular girl's pants. -EN)

(Good luck on that... -CV)

"Patrick Stewart: The Lionhearted, according to popular legend. Other sources argue it was really Sean Connery - but as it's all mythology anyway, there's no real way of knowing." -

silversmoke

"I always though he should be more aptly called King Richard the Easily Persuaded because if I was king the last thing anyone could talk me into doing is leading an army down to the Middle East. It's like a 2 year camping trip to sandy-land and at the end you get the priviledge of trying not to get gutted by some guy with one of those crescent blades." -

mcclintock

"Men In Tights also has a better Robin Hood in Cary Elwes, 'because unlike some other Robin Hoods, [he] can speak with an English accent.' So yeah, Kevin sucks, Prince of Thieves sucks, Cary forever." -

dracothelizard

"from this day forth, all toilets in this kingdom shall be known as 'johns':
Flush if you love Men In Tights.

" -

spam_with_wings

"Danaus Plexippus. Because nobody ever suspects the butterfly." -

modestlobster

(Apparently

eridanusus did. -EN)

"Richard the Butterfly, son of the more famous Lionheart. Unfortunately he died three days after taking the throne, having failed to eat or find a mate." -

eridanusus

"you're looking for Richard the Lion-Hearted. And good look finding him, because he's only in Kenya!" -

kenshardik

(I will resist linking to it. I will. I'll be good this time. -CV)

"Richard the Lionheart. He had the heart of a lion as well as his own. He ripped it out of the lion, and the lion was left with a bicycle pump and not much to do." -

tronella

"The way I hear it from the ladies, he was more like 'Richard the Irritable-Housecat-Hearted.'" -

silent_r_infork

(

sskipstress has located archive footage of Richard's time spent with the ladies...
That's Richard on top. Sometimes he's just called Dick, though.

And that's how little lions are made, kiddies! -CV)

Correct Answer: Richard Lionheart

"The moral of this story is, if you're going to raise taxes, blame someone else. (Eleanor did. She was the one who actually raised the taxes. John just got the public shame for it. If John had been more like his mother ... we wouldn't have the Magna Carta. God I love British history.)" -

3jane

4. Which book provided the inspiration for the film "Apocalypse Now"?

"Apocalypse Then" -

m31andy,

shannon_sue,

spam_with_wings,

aki,

jiggawattica,

littleststeph,

jenny_1981
"Apocalypse Soon?" -

lexsboo,

astria_nova
"Apocalypse Some Other Time, Dear, I Have a Headache." -

profsparky
"Apocalypse Is Slightly Delayed Due To... Rain." -

dracothelizard
"Apocalypse Eventually" -

kokopellinelli
"'What do we want?' 'The Apocolypse!' 'When do we want it?' 'Eventually!'" -

theworryrock

(So much apocalypse in one place can only be a ~~good~~ bad thing. -EN)

"Revelations." -

lezopez,

diimmortales
"The Bible" -

shinga,

reddholly

(Mel Gibson originally wanted to make this with Marlon Brando taking the role of God and Martin Sheen as a young Moses, but he figured The Passion would be an easier sell. -CV)

"Ethyl the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying" -

krick

(That would be the sequel to Olsen's Standard Book of British Birds, I think. -CV)

"Rumble Fish, by S.E. Hinton.
Go on. Tell me I'm wrong." -

3jane

(That's just asking for it, really. -EN)

"Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. The guy who wrote the movie's screenplay was REALLY upset about what happened to Beth." -

chlaal

"'Even More Freakin' Chicken Soup For The Soul: We Won't Stop Until You Kill Us'." -

djs_specs

"I don't understand how this relates to love. I love a good disaster flick, but still..." -

calankh

(You don't understand how disaster relates to love? Boy, some people have all the luck. -EN)

"Having done neither so far, should I read the book or watch the movie?" -

v827

(I say nuke a Hot Pocket and rent some porn. -CV)

"'Hearts Aflame', a touching and sensual story of a royal privateer and the woman he loved. Now available in paperback from Harlequin." -

snowfox090

(I'll bet good money that

chrysoberyl has read this tale. -CV)

"I was asked this question once during Battle of the Sexes and I knew the answer then, too, much to the astonishment of the guys I was playing against. I had to inform them that these were breasts, not brain tumors." -

whiski_sour

"'The Gonads of Darkness.' At the very end, the hero kicks Kurtz in the balls, whereupon Kurtz curls up into a fetal position and whispers, 'The horror... the horror...'" -

demongrrrrl

"Heart of Darkness, which is an example of going native. Why leave when the locals view you as King, worship you naked, and throw little pickles at you?" -

mcclintock

(Why do I suddenly feel as though I should be throwing little pickles at CV and AL? -EN)

(Depends on your current state of nakedness. -CV)

"it would've been far better if it had instead been based on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Sending Martin Sheen up a river of chocolate to go hunting Mad Wonka and his tribe of loyal Oompa Loompas would've worked SO much better..." -

cpip

Correct Answer: Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness"

"The real question is what provided the inspiration for the book. And the answer is APOCALYPSE COW! She's 50 feet tall and shoots fire from her teats!" -

eridanusus

(+1, The Tick. -CV)

5. Which television series featured Robert Wagner and Stephanie Powers as a husband-and-wife detective team?

"Don't know, but the Scooby Gang could so kick their asses." -

enigma_o

"Stargate SG-1. 'I've called all you together to prove who the murderer was. It was...' ::spaceship destroys planet::" -

lots42

"X-Files? Wait, Mulder and Scully never married. Or did they?" -

shannon_sue

"I'm going to say 'Magnum, PI', not because it is right, but because it is awesome." -

aki

"The only detective show I watched in the 80s was Mathnet. They used math to solve crimes! It was my favorite show when I was little." -

moocow1985

(And I do believe that is worth a Junior Geek Of The Week Merit Badge. Negative one for you. -CV)

"St-heart-ski and Hutch." -

cloakedstoat

(Nice try. -CV)

"At first I looked at this question and for some reason I was thinking of Judge Wapner, and then I was all 'dude, the guy from People's Court was on a detective show?' But then I realized that it was Wagner, not Wapner, and then I also realized it was Robert, not Joseph, and now I forget what the question is, so I'll just pull something out of my ass and say DRAGNET." -

irisamergin

"Inspector Gadget gets laid." -

permogod

(Go go gadget gadget! -CV)

"'You Found My Harrtgh!'" -

modestlobster

(For some reason, I visualise a large, buxom Klingon woman saying this as she clutches a newly returned purse to her breast. -EN)

"Fish & CHiPs" -

krick

"Stephanie Powers: International Number-Two Dater of Mystery" -

loopychew
"Who does Number Two work for? WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR?!" -

ccaretta

"I'm guessing it was the 80's though. I imagine Stephanie Powers wearing gargantuan shoulder pads and Mr. Wagner with horrific paisley ties." -

okuninushii

"OMG! I'm dating myself!! Heart to Heart or is it Hart to Hart...." -

trouble166

"CSI: Hartland to Hartland" -

anna_sinistra

"Hart to Hart. Most notable for its even more popular and long-running spinoff, Divorce Court." -

chlaal

"You mean TV existed before Lost? Fuck, all this time and I didn't know! O what a brave new world, that has such things in't!" -

snowfox090

(You need to cut down on the smackfarthing. -CV)

"I wanna be rich and have dead people fall out of trees on me." -

whiski_sour

"I get a mental image of two deer with magnifying glasses wandering around looking for clues in Hart to Hart." -

siobhan1214

"I always like to belive that Max became Charlie later on. After years of doing other people's errands, he decided to retire and get girls to run his errands and just sit back and give orders by speaker box." -

mcclintock

"who names their dog 'Freeway?'" -

dpaul007

"'Part to Part.' It only ran on Adult Television." -

demongrrrrl

Correct Answer: Hart to Hart

6. What kind of heart do you have?

"as much as I love the Quiz, I am so not ding open heart surgery at home just to take a picture for you." -

uninhibitedmuse

"would this be a good time to mention the weird-ass heart-related dream I had this morning? It was about a rock star who was addicted to heart transplants. I don't know how one gets addicted to heart transplants, but he was, and it was weird." -

elsajeni

"I could have a bicuspid aortic valve that's calcifying as I type, dooming me to heart failure in my 40's and an early death. Being a medical student really sucks sometimes." -

delordra

"I had to get an echocardiogram once, because I had a heart murmer as a child. They tell me it's healed, or didn't really exist. So I hope I've got a good heart, but if I die tomorrow, you'll know why." -

calankh

"The kind that pumps blood and makes 'thump thump' sounds. It's more like 'THUMP THUMP' when I'm watching por-- uhhh, high quality entertainment. Like... uh... wholesome... family... viewing... stuff... *twiddles thumbs*" -

shinga

"The kind that works, for the most part. Sometimes it kinda stutters ominously, but then it goes back to pumping. I almost typoed that as “pimping.” Maybe it does that, too." -

kokopellinelli

"The kind that's confusedly relieved that you guys missed a chance to include an in-theme mention of the strange and scary Raggedy Anne movie. You know, with the weird sludge-looking monster that wanted to rip out Raggedy Anne's sweet little candy heart so he could eat it? And the weird camel that apparantly (so it seemed to me) wanted to die so he could be with his camel ancestors. That movie traumatized me as a kid. Thanks so much for indirectly reminding me of it. And making me wonder if I could find a copy of it anywhere." -

cloakedstoat

"A black heart filled with creamy goodness." -

marasca

(Mmmmmm... Hostess cupcake heart. -CV)

"I have a little pink heart taped to my forehead. I spent Valentine's Day among small children; it was inevitable." -

3jane

"I have to keep it backwards so that no one will see that it says, 'EAT MY APPLE'." -

eridanusus

"Medium rare, with some fava beans and a nice chianti." -

buzz

(+1, The Silence of the Lambs. -CV)

"I laughed at the end of Titanic. I'm sure there's something special reserved for me in hell for that last one." -

prettypinkkitty

(You and the rest of us. -EN&CV)

"With my love for cheese, probably a super-clogged one." -

badgerbabe

"It's made out of clockwork. And probably also tortilla chips, because you are what you eat. But mostly clockwork." -

irisamergin

"The heart in 'I ♥ NY'. They stole my heart and sliced it very thinly and put it on many a shirt. They told me it was for the common good. And I believed them, and now I have no heart with which to judge them. So I guess they thought that one through pretty well.
But hey, I got a free shirt out of the deal." -

modestlobster

"One that is two sizes too small." -

silk_knickers

"I don't have one. I'm like.....whichever character in the Wizard of Oz needed a heart.
...
Shut up, it's early." -

ciara_belle

"The achy-breaky cheatin' country kind. In my beer." -

dexfarkin

"Oh great, you bastards, now I've got 'Dyslexic Heart' stuck in my head. Damn you and your leading questions!" -

kenshardik

"as Shakespeare would promote LJDQ, I have adapted one of his sonnets in honor.
Sonnet 47 Betwixt mine eye and heart a league is took

Betwixt mine eye and heart a quiz is took,
And each doth good answers unto the other:
When that mine eye is famish'd for a look,
Or heart in love with puns himself doth smother,
With my love's questions then my eye doth feast
And to the painted comment bids my heart;
Another time mine eye is my heart's guest
And in his thoughts of love doth share a part:
So, Mods by thy insult or my love,
Thyself away art present still with me;
For thou not farther than my thoughts canst move,
And I am still with them and they with thee;
Or, if they sleep, thy picture in my sight
Awakes my heart to heart's and eye's delight." -

permogod

(AL would have given you a +1 for your poetic reconstruction. Tune in next week when all our questions are presented in iambic pentameter. -CV)

Correct Answer: "" - mlewys

And thus our week of love and heartfelt goodness comes to a close, and we can replace all that happy stuff with the loving taste of liquor. Unless you're underage. In which case, have some hot cocoa.

Thanks again to

sasscat for volunteering her pet rock to assist with modding detail. Although I was wary of the offer, I'll know not to take her offer for granite next time.

angledge is wondering what's happening with her baby here; I'm glad you're all doing your part in keeping it alive. As always, come back again next week, bring some friends, and tell everyone out there about how much fun this really is. That's right, lie if you have to. We're not above raw deception.

Rock on,

CV&SC&EN

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Current Music: drip, drip, drip... the faucet leaketh