WTF Mate?

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Where's that damn quiz?

...oh yeah, that would be me.

Sorry folks, minor technical delay here. It's been a helluva week. We'll get back to you shortly. Meanwhile, have a practice quiz:

1. What is your name?
2. What is your quest?
3. What is your favorite color?
4. What is the capital of Assyria?
5. What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
6. What's your favorite funny quote? (Monty Python optional)

Stop. Wait. Quiz Pending.

Comments

[seferin.livejournal.com]

1. Seferin, Hebrew for Man of books. An injoke
2. To enjoy life, find love, and improve my flexibility
3. Brown
4. Adamascus
5. African or Europeon?
6. "Werewolf?" 'There wolf. There castle.'

[lovellama.livejournal.com]

1. The Goddamn Batman

2. To survive until my kids are out of the house, at which time I will party like it's 2000 (I'm a geek, I do things right).

3. Blue

4. A

5. Just above stalling speed

6. Bloody peasant!!

This one was too fun not to do...

[love2loveher.livejournal.com]

PENGUIN!

[etcet.livejournal.com]

1. Sir Loin of Beef
2. To crush my enemies, to see them driven before me, to hear the lamentations of their women.
3. Pewter
4. With an ass like that, who cares?
5. That depends... do I get a running start, or do I have to throw it standing still?
6. "Yes, have some."

[david-deacon.livejournal.com]

1. Sir Loin of Beef

More like Sir Osis of the Liver.

[seekingferret.livejournal.com]

6. I like deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. ~Douglas Adams

[fictionalsolace.livejournal.com]

1. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die
2. I want to be the very best, like no one ever was
3. My favorite color is red, like the bloodshed
4. An awesome history teacher gave an assignment on this where everyone had to give a brief summary of an empire of their choosing. I chose Assyria. and...I forgot the capital.
5. I ran some tests with a whole flock of swallows and a wind tunnel, and found that the average airspeed is about 11 meters per second. That's "hella fast" in young-people speak
6. I can has be quoted?

[sskipstress.livejournal.com]

1. Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Third

2. To explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.

3. Red orange.

4. Ass Ear-y Uh? You've got to be kidding.

5. In about 2 weeks I go to the hospital to have them measure the strength of an unladen swallow. I'll let you know the results.

6.

[cjtremlett.livejournal.com]

1. Cthulhu
2. Yummy human snack
3. Purple. Don't ask why.
4. The next to die
5. Not fast enough.
6. Mongo only pawn in game of life.

[etumukutenyak.livejournal.com]

1. The Man With No Name
2. To find the lost Ancient Library of Alexandria. You don't really believe that story about the destruction, do you?
3. Infrared.
4. Butte..no, I'm not asserious.
5. Well, which is it? Spitz or Swallows?
6. "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." (Mae West)

[hugh-mannity.livejournal.com]

1. We are all Kosh
2. To live for the one. To die for the one.
3. The inky midnight of deep space.
4. Asdamascus
5. Faster than that of a laden one.
6. "Ivanova is always right."

[naraht.livejournal.com]

I less than 3 you now.

[naraht.livejournal.com]

1. Names give power to those that know them...
2. Teh Funny. I must findz it.
3. FM.
4. A
5. Metric or Imperial?
6. [Test Pattern]

[blindgeoff.livejournal.com]

1 - Blind Geoff

2 - PLUNDERRRRRRRRRRRR!

3 - I've always been partial to a shade of blue... more like a teal in many respects, but without quite so much green...

4 - Trick question! There is no Assyria!

5 - Between 47 and 59 PDVUs

6 - "Fits perfectly up your bum, too!"

[cholma.livejournal.com]

1. Ted Stryker

2. To make Elaine love me again.

3. The White Zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers only; there is no parking in the Red Zone

4. Surely you can't be serious!

5. Slower than a jumbo 747

6. "A hospital?! What is it?" "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."

[abouthipsanck3s.livejournal.com]

Stryker, eh? Like, the guy who wants to save me money by switching to AIS?

[i-calql8.livejournal.com]

6. "I didn't hear you say that. Because it isn't possible. It's inhuman to serve the same food day after day. The Geneva Convention prohibits the killing of our taste buds. I simply cannot eat the same food day after day--fish, liver--day after day! I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish! I've eaten so much fish, I'm ready to grow gills! I've eaten so much liver, I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions! Are we gonna stand for this? Are we gonna let them do this to us? No, I say, no! We're not gonna eat this dreck any more! WE WANT SOMETHING ELSE! WE WANT SOMETHING ELSE! Draftees of the world, arise! You have nothing to lose but your cookies!!!"

"Adam's Ribs". Best. M*A*S*H episode. Evar.

[lovellama.livejournal.com]

Was that a fit or a berserk?

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

1) Wiredwizard to most, Buster some, Oi! You over there to the rest.

2) I have no quest - the doctor made me give them up for health reasons.

3) blood red

4) Dubya

5) European or African?

6) "Oh, smeg! What the smegging smeg's he smegging done? He's smegging killed me!" - Dave Lister (Red Dwarf)

[abouthipsanck3s.livejournal.com]

1. Leah, thanks for asking.
2. I'm too embarrassed to give you the full details, but it's in a town called Altador.
3. ff0099
4. Crackenstein
5. Haha, swallow...
6. "Palin 2012!"

[frequencyshift.livejournal.com]

1. I have many names. It's kind of like having many skills, only without Lucy Lawless level of hotness.
2. To find the perfect woman - cooks, cleans, and gives me lots of sweet lovin'. Or, y'know, just troll the gay bars until I find one willing enough to just talk to me.
3. Technically, black is the absence of all color, so you've got me stumped there.
4. If this was relevant, or if I used google, I would know this. Alas, neither is true...
5. So many factors! Kind of swallow, air speed, barometric pressure, depression levels - suicidal swallow attack!
6. "I give you a lubricated hello!"

[photosinensis.livejournal.com]

1. photosinensis
2. To seek the Holy Grail
3. Green
4. Assyria has 4 capitals: Ashur (or Qalat Sherqat), Calah (or Nimrud), the short-lived Dur Sharrukin (or Khorsabad), and Nineveh.
5. I looked this up years ago. It's 11 m/s for a European barn swallow. African swallows haven't been so carefully studied. I also cannot say anything about the coconut.
6. That's what she said.

[abouthipsanck3s.livejournal.com]

I sang your icon for a good 10 minutes.

[bellapalmera.livejournal.com]

1. I'm Rick James, bitch!
2. To seek the Groly Hail.
3. Black LIKE MY SOUL.
4. A
5. Faster than a speeding bullet!
6. I see your schwartz is as big as mine.

[drunken-hedghog.livejournal.com]

1.Some say that my first name really is 'The', and that I have a surprising number of shoulders. All you know is, I'm called The Stig.
2.To follow that star. No matter how hopeless; no matter how far.
3.The dark mulled wine colour of dried blood on my sword after slaying my enemies, enslaving their women and laughing at their children.
4.Nineveh on Tigris
5.x = {q + [q2 + (r-p2)3]1/2}1/3 + {q - [q2 + (r-p2)3]1/2}1/3 + p where p is the swallow, q is gravity and x is the air speed.
6."A handbag?!"

[callirhoe.livejournal.com]

To be born or, at any rate bred, in a hand-bag, whether it had handles or not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life that reminds one of the worst excesses of the French Revolution. :[

[drbear.livejournal.com]

1. Legion
2. To follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far
3. Plaid.
4. Analusia.
5. 30 cc.
6. "There are two kinds of people in this world - those who say there are two kinds of people in this world, and those who don't." - Andy Rooney.

[lecoto.livejournal.com]

1. Y'know, I've played so many MMO's I'm not even sure anymore. Right now I answer to Lisa.
2. An education worth something.
3. Blue!
4. Not Constantinople.
5. http://www.style.org/unladenswallow/ (It's not googlecheating if I didn't have to look it up)
6. "Live hard, love strong, and when all else fails, get a job in the government." - Ruby Pyrenees

[blueskypenguin.livejournal.com]

"Mattress."

[billfl.livejournal.com]

*gets in Aquarium*

o/~ And did these fields, in ancient times, walk upon England's mountain green... o/~

[david-deacon.livejournal.com]

1. David Alan Deacon

2. "To be the eyes and ears and conscience of the Creator of the Universe, you fool."

3. clear

4.

    "An ass like that is hard to find."

5. It depends on how many of them I can fit in the cannon.

6. "Two nuns walk into a bar. Why didn't the second one duck?"

[angelprojekt.livejournal.com]

In high school, I had an expertly nerdy friend who, about every three days or so, would tell this joke:
"A penguin walks into a bar. He looks up at the bartender and says, 'Ow.'"
It was particularly popular because of the appearance of the penguin, which appealed to a dumber audience (e.g., "Yay, penguin!") and also could represent a certain operating system for the geeks.
Because the joke was repeated on a regular basis, it eventually sounded something like this:
"A penguin walks into--ow."

[felixdiecat.livejournal.com]

1. Felix
2. To um, not kill these people.
3. Green
4. The crack...?
5. However fast it was shot out.
6. I DON'T LIKE SPAM!