ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 31 August 2009

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

Why squares? Why not? After all, August is the 8th month, and 8 is a perfect cube, and a cube is six squares put together, and the quiz has six questions, and I'll just give myself the

gruyere Award for Logic Renunciation and stop talking now.

1. R.E.M.'s live concert in Germany on 23 July 2003 was recorded and distributed as a video with what title?

"It was distributed as a video!? How old fashioned and quaint!" -

vayshti

(Uh, that should have been DVD. I'm all old fashioned and I still say "video" in this day and age. Get off my lawn! -CV)

"Ich bin ein Berliner" -

florahart,

kristinmachina,

judith_s

"Music You Can't Dance To" -

ginalin

"For You, Tommy, It's The End Of The War As You Know It" -

many_from_one

"Shiny Happy Nazis" -

ifeedformula

"Losing Mein Religion" -

freezer818

"Birthday party cheesecake jellybean BOOM!" -

rhiannonjk

"David Hasslehoff Live! - Opening Act: R.E.M." -

wiredwizard

"R.E.M. does F.R.O.G.s" -

star_bunnies

(That's "Federal Republic Of Germany", in case you missed the acronym. -CV)

"Germans Gone Wild." -

drbear

"Springtime for Hitler" -

lins_arosa

"I can't believe you chose R.E. Fucking M. over Huey Lewis with this week's theme." -

etcet

(It's too easy to be hip and square. -CV)

"The real question is: did they go to eleven?" -

wrestlingdog

(Nah, this is R.E.M. The best they probably reached was sieben komma drei. -CV)

"I haven't cared about anything to do with R.E.M. since I figured out the lyrics to that one song were not 'That's me in the corner, losing my virginity.'" -

actuallyspatula

"Michael Stipe Fainting Bingo - did you know he likes doing that? Who likes fainting?" -

drunken_hedghog

Correct Answer: "R.E.M.: Perfect Square"

2. In the game of cricket, one umpire stands behind the wicket at the bowler's end; what is the position of the second umpire?

"Missionary" - 11 of you
"On the bottom" -

felixdiecat
"Reverse cowgirl" -

syrazemyla,

tears_of_nienna,

laura_croft
"it's Cricket. Not likely to attract the 'reverse cowgirl' type." -

neumeindil
"Doggy style" -

stagemanager,

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

"CV, sometimes I think you word these deliberately to get answers like, 'That would be in the butt, Gene'..." -

traveller_blues

"Orbiting Uranus" -

spiralgirl1

"Strikes Back" -

its_what_we_are,

cholma

"Lion on a Cheesegrater" -

sskipstress

(That's one of those... advanced yoga positions, right? -CV)

"The pub" -

johnwwells

"The west, hence the term "The Wicket Watch of the West"" -

i_calql8

"Near the squeaky wicket, between the spotted dick and the sticky bandit." -

pirho_maniac

"Wobbly oblong out, or squiggly foil on, or some weird place with a name that sounds much like that." -

active_apathy

(I'd watch a sport that involved wobbly oblongs. I'm not proud. -CV)

"It is only appropriate that you call cricket a 'game' instead of a 'sport', because in REAL sports you don't wear a fucking sweater." -

thepikey

"I have never understood how a game with '136/5 vs 123 (not out)' as a reported score can actually be taught." -

ntlespino

"I am American, therefore I only know 'Cricket' as an obnoxious creature that warns that winter is on the way." -

rhiannonjk

"Square leg. I know this because I have had a fully rounded British education. Which included Cricket, awful food, beating the Germans at War and beating the schoolboys for fun." -

angrusunbird

"They've got to stand near the phone poised to tell Australia that inexplicably, they've lost. I'd react with a more excited tone, it's just that I'm not used to us winning anything in sport." -

yayworthy

"Chasing the Chesterfield sofa around the pitch. Eddies in the time stream, you know." -

squeegibo

(+1, HHG – CV&LL)

"I love cricket - it's the only sport you can do the ironing while watching, because your brain melts trying to work out which is more boring." -

drunken_hedghog

(You clearly need to watch more golf. -CV)

"If you translate your question into japanese by means of the google-translating thing, then back into english, you get:
'Cricket is a game, behind the gate at the edge of the hat stands for one single trial; What is the position of the two or the second referee?'
I still have no friggin clue what this all means but it suddenly sounds ten times more mysterious." -

lemiru

(Wow. Even I'm confused now. -CV)

Correct Answer: Square-leg

3. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

(You know, it's been a long time since we've gotten as much hate for a particular question as we did with this one. Drink up! -AL&CV&LL)

(Also, quite a surprising number of you watch the show on a regular basis. Just sayin'. -CV)

"I tried watching a few minutes to see what the fuss was about but I had to stop when the stupid was making my brain leak from my ears." -

selenityshiroi

(...but not all of you. -CV)

"I'm saddened by the amount of grown men I see sporting SpongeBob shirts." -

wheatheart

"Jiffy Hoffa, once they finished with him." -

many_from_one

"Ringo Starr." - 8 of you

"Jimmy Buffet. " -

floraheart

"Del Monte" -

drbear

"Shawn Spencer" -

thefannishwaldo

(+1, Psych – LL)

"Splash? The one with Darryl Hannah? She was really hot in that movie, even if her tail did look really fake." -

conjure_lass

(She probably lived in a palace made of seashells. -CV)

"Someone should have taken the left turn at Albuquerque." -

akiyasan

"Is it Nemo? I bet that's why he couldn't be found. No one would expect to find a fish inside a pineapple!" -

cholma

"The rotting corpses of dead sailors" -

mattwolf

(Only those that weren't tied together to make a raft... -CV)

"Some homeless guy. They're always on the dole. " -

i_calql8

"Jerks from Pod Six?" -

thepikey

(Pod Six is actually coconut shells. Pod Eight has the pineapple. -CV)

"I do. I needed the extra vitamins." -

felixdiecat

(Which vitamins do you get down there? Vitamin Sea? -CV)

"He was a sponge in pants, she was a bivalve irritant, he wasn't good enough for her." -

sskipstress

"SPONGES ARE AWKWARDLY SHAPED AND LUMPY GOD DAMN IT. NOT. -SQUARE-" -

severedscythe

(Go bitch about sparkly vampires instead, will ya? – LL)

"Spongebob Tarau Porowha, as he was renamed for a week on television in New Zealand this year. It actually makes less sense that way though, as porowha means blocky pants. Blocks =/= squares. Though maybe I'm just a geometrist... D: DON'T WORRY SPONGEBOB I DON'T DISCRIMINATE! " -

lucky_lyon

"Spongebob Square Pants and his porn star brother Spongeworthy No Pants" -

ginalin

"I went to Wonderland in Toronto and hugged the hell out of Spongebob. I was 17. It was awesome." -

palapaloozaa

(I hope you were stoned. -CV)

" Once they caught him, cloned his, and raised his bodies to be dried out and hung, he made a surprisingly nice throw pillow. -CV

Once they caught him, cloned his, and raised his bodies to be dried out and hung, he made a surprisingly nice throw pillow. -CV

" -

yayworthy

Correct Answer: Spongebob Squarepants

"I really wish someone'd invent earworm removal cream." -

tweeti, speaking for many of you

4. A statue of Horatio Nelson is surrounded by four statues of lions in what famous location?

"Fellatio Nelson would be an awesome name for a gay porn star." -

laura_croft

"Siegfried and Roy's house. Everything there is surrounded by four statues of lions." -

drbear,

piney61

(Lions, not tigers. Not in Kenya. -CV)

"I thought that said position instead of location and was horrified by all the risque images that popped into my head." -

akiyasan

"Mane Street" -

i_calql8

"Detroit, everyone knows the Detroit Lions have hands of stone." -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t,

darthparadox,

sifrid

"Horatio is one of my favourite words ever. I mean how often can you take a maths word like ratio, add the word ho, and make something awesome? Hosquareroot? Hodifferential? I think not!" -

yayworthy

"Four lions? He must be have... *puts on sunglasses* A lot of pride." -

pirho_maniac

"Further proof that England did indeed run the world...way back in the day when lions were an acceptable form of defense" -

its_what_we_are

(I think it's still fairly acceptable; I wouldn't mess with a dude guarded by four lions. Or one lion, for that matter. -CV)

"I'd sure love to play with Nelson's Column, if you know what I mean." -

stagemanager

"Does 'Trafalgar' actually mean anything, or is it just the British being weird again?" -

hylarn

(That's a fair question, but Trafalgar is actually the site of the battle where Nelson kicked ass. -CV)

"Nelson-Gives-Napoleon-the-Finger Square" -

johnwwells
"The four lions are named 'Kiss' 'My' 'Butt' and 'France'" -

zihuatanejo

"my boyfriend and I were walking in london 2 weeks ago, and we walked passed nelson's column on trafalgar and he suddenly says: 'so this is the statue of Napoleon?'" -

b_hulsmans

(BWAHAHAHAHA EPIC FAIL. -CV)

"JESUS CHRIST IT'S TRAFALGAR, GET IN THE STEAM-ACTUATED VELOCIPEDE." -

etcet

"If you stacked all the pigeons in Trafalgar Square together, they would totally be bigger then that statue." -

raphsody606

"The rumour is that, in the event that Britain is under threat again, the Lions will rise up and roar a warning. Similarly, King Arthur is supposed to return in Britain's hour of need. And there's a drum in Scotland that beats out a warning whenever our fair isle is endangered. I like to think all of this happened during World War 2 but no-one noticed." -

drunken_hedghog

"When England in in peril, Nelson forms with the lions to make...VOLTRON!" -

kristinmachina,

freezer818,

naraht

"There's one certain angle where you can look at Nelson and it looks like he's jerking off" -

germankitty

(Poor Napoleon was on the wrong end of that money shot... -CV)

Correct Answer: Trafalgar Square

"Incidentally, naval medals from Trafalgar go for about $13,000 these days." -

csi_tokyo3

5. Where did John Lennon perform his last full-length concert?

"In a pineapple under the sea" -

broken_moons

(All those drugs they did during "Yellow Submarine" led to that point. -CV)

"Heaven. About 7 days ago. Elvis sang backup." -

tony101,

ceindreadh

(I hope Buddy Holly was there too... -CV)

"Full-length concert on the skin flute?" -

sskipstress and a few others

(I should have known better than to say "full length"... -CV)

"I'm going with Red Square. The Kremlin. In Soviet Russia, Beatle plays square!" -

csi_tokyo3

"Red Square. 'Lennon, meet Lenin.'" -

syrazemyla,

traveller_blues

"Lennon-grad, Russia" -

thefannishwaldo,

darthparadox

"This is the man who said he woke up in concerts and wondered how he got there. So, chances are, he didn't know, so why should I?" -

natt_barn

(Are you sure you're not thinking of Keith Richards? -CV)

"On Ceti Alpha Six. That's where Yoko got the brainworms." -

squeegibo

("She put... creatures... in our bodies, eh, wot wot..." -CV)

"New York, New York, it's a hell of a town. It's also the place where Lennon got shot down" -

la_trombonista

"In his head, as his life passed before his eyes. Bet he cringed through bits of it." -

drunken_hedghog

"Madison Square Gardens. Because it's the only venue I've heard of with Square in the name. And I only remember it because of Madison CUBE Gardens appearing in Futurama so much." -

selenityshiroi,

aaronbsam

"That reminds me of a joke. What do you need for a Beatles reunion? Two more bullets!" -

flawed_karma

"What is yellow, has glasses and plays the guitar? John Lemon." -

lemiru

Correct Answer: Madison Square Garden

6. What is your most boring attribute, characteristic, habit, or activity?

"Drilling through solid rock." -

many_from_one,

seekingferret,

thepikey,

traveller_blues

"I could, if I choose, study hydrogeology next year. MY WORKING LIFE WILL REVOLVE AROUND BORES!" -

elvenpiratelady

(I would venture so far as to say that if you chose to study any field of science or engineering, your working life would revolve around bores. -CV)

"technically as far as shapes go, I much more closely resemble Round." -

neumeindil

"Anything that is NOT the LJDQ?" -

majorsamfan

"Facebooking" -

felixdiecat

"I collect spores, molds, and fungus." -

i_calql8

(+1, Ghostbusters. -CV&LL)

"I used to work in the Senate of Canada as a cameraman for committee meetings. You haven't experienced boredom until you've sat through an eight-hour Committee on Foreign Affairs (and not even the interesting sort of Foreign Affairs)." -

csi_tokyo3

(CV knows aaaaaall about interesting Foreign Affairs… - AL&LL)

(I repeat: I did NOT have sex with that prawn, Christopher Johnson! -CV)

"I have to write a 15 pages long report on how the evolution of the japanese kimono reflects the economic, politic and social evolution of the country. Right now, I am stuck on the agriculture of cotton during the Tokugawa Period. If that is not boring enough, I still have to write a report about the evolution of the worker's movement between the 60es and today. GET SOME EDUCATION, THEY SAID! IT IS FUN, THEY SAID!" -

lemiru

"I would say sleep, but apparently I'm quite the entertainer at night." -

broken_moons

(Now that has interesting connotations... -CV)

"Sudoku, fun to play, deadly boring to watch." -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

"Throughout middle school, high school, and into college, I participated in local, state, and national math competitions. My fellow mathletes and found it quite exciting, but it's not exactly a spectator sport" -

darthparadox

"pulling out leg hairs with tweezers." -

sillyflowers

"I wear cotton panties." -

sskipstress

"I have brown hair and eyes. Go me. " -

hylarn

"According to 2008 census statistics, I am two inches and ten pounds below average, which means I can disappear in pretty much any crowd. If I wasn't typing in black on a white background, you wouldn't even notice me " -

etcet

"I brush my teeth twice a day and visit my dentist twice a year" -

its_what_we_are

"Updating the TV Tropes Wiki.. And yes, I put that link there so you'll be sucked in for hours. " -

syrazemla

"That I ramble on and on and on about sex. Constantly. " -

stagemanager

"I am extremely pedantic when it comes to getting answers right (I've had to block google and wikipedia for the duration of answering these questions)" -

ceindreadh

"I spend most of my free time with my cat. I'm not a crazy cat lady because I only have one and I dont feed the strays. I'm just an old maid." -

wheatheart

"I lean my chin on my hand when I read things. It makes me look like an utter twat, but I can't STOP. It's like a friggin compulsion." -

severedscythe

"I don't think boring is a bad thing. It's hip to be square." -

kristinmachina

And square you have it. I've got nothing else to say, except that I'm going to share with you the worst pun I've ever seen, because I'm like that, and because it, strangely, relates to the theme.

The circus came to Camelot, and three squires, George, Henry, and Fatguts, took the afternoon off to go. They soon came upon the Animal Rides, and each of the squires took a turn. George saddled up on a giraffe, and Henry rode a camel, but Squire Fatguts, who was as heavy as George and Henry combined, could only be supported by a hippopotamus. This goes to prove that the squire on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squires on the other two rides.

I did warn you, fair and square.

Thanks for playing, everyone, and see you all tomorrow for more fun and quizzing!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

drbear.livejournal.com

I always heard that joke about the squaw on the buffalo hide having one baby and the one on the deer hide having one baby but the squaw on the hippopotamus having two babies, so the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.

I know, not PC, but dammit, I'm old.

From:

lovellama.livejournal.com

I know an Easter joke that I learned that has three Japanese business men in it. no matter how I try to make it just three non Christians, their voices always end up with a Japanese accent.

Though named daily, it is weekly. Behold the first mystery.

LJ Daily Answers: 31 August 2009

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