ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 4 May 2009

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"I made a swine flu joke, and then I read the rest of the questions, and then I was like, 'Really, LJDQ? Making fun of those affected? For shame.' Hypocrisy is fun." -

actuallyspatula

You must've missed the Hurricane-themed quiz we ran after Hurricane Katrina smashed New Orleans. Forget hypocrisy; Schadenfreude's where the fun is at.

1. In "Lord of the Flies", which of the children has asthma?

"Wheezy" - 19 of you
"...who later married George Jefferson." -

drbear

"Beelzebub!" -

digitalraven

"I've alway thought that the title was 'Lord of the Files'. Kept thinking that it was about people beating up each other with files. Flies don't help much though." - ANONYMOUS

(File cabinets hurt like a bitch, though. -CV)

"Milhouse" -

gigglingpixie,

blindgeoff,

edoraslass

"I think the dust and insect swarm obviously point to Pigpen as the child with asthma" -

its_what_we_are

"Scotty McFirstKidtoDieerson." -

wrestlingdog,

tarpo

(Bzzzzt! Simon died first. Well, ok, some other nameless folks died first too, but really, it all started with Simon. -CV)

"So how is conch pronounced?" -

sskipstress

(I say it rhymes with "bonk". But who cares? Conch is tasty! -CV)

"SUCKS TO YOUR ASSMAR!" -

abouthipsanck3s,

etcet,

ginalin

"In high school my class read the book ahead of the other section and I delighted in telling my more sensitive friends that the book ended with a 'Piggy roast.'" -

uadlika

"I read that once. I wasn't shocked at all by their behaviour. Most kids are turds when there aren't any adults around." -

demon_666

"iggy -- he huffed and he puffed till ~~the plane was shot down~~ ~~House, M.D. diagnosed lupus~~ the house fell in!" -

germankitty

"Piggy. He was also chubby and four-eyed, and the only one on that island who wasn't insane. Alas, his demise was inevitable from the start." -

callirhoe

"Little Piggy, little piggy, let me in! Or I'll huff and I'll wheeze and fall down and piss off the crazy kids who have spears and oh god is that a boulder" -

have_at_you

"Being killed by being dashed on the rocks when he fell cured his asthma, but I'm not sure that it helped anything else." -

kagomeshuko

Correct Answer: Piggy

2. Fun with lyrics! Name the band and the song:
You're trying to keep our feelings off the street
You're nearly a real treat
All tight lips and cold feet

"LJDQ has ruined the phrase 'Fun with...!' for me forever. I just see the ironic little exclamation mark at the end and start weeping." -

4492

(Eeeeeeexcellent, Smithers. -CV)

"Something just popped into my head when you said "tight lips". Now I'm going to have pervy dreams. Thanks(!)" -

loopyuk

"Considering the theme, those lyrics are highly disturbing." -

natt_barn
"Hooray for necrophilia!" -

adria_rhiannon,

edoraslass
"Tight lips and cold feet are on the street? It's the zombie apocalpyse!!! RUUUUUN!!!" -

kagomeshuko

"Who wrote a song about scrapple?" -

sskipstress

"A real treat? Lips? Feet? Add the nose and it's 'Ode to a Hot Dog', by Oscar Meyer" -

i_calql8

"That's a great song to play at weddings." -

b_hulsmans

"Unless I can play it on rock band 2, I have no idea what song lyrics are anymore." -

monroe_nell

(You and me both. -CV)

"'I'd rather die than marry you' by The Corpse Bride" -

demon_666

" Except that one time when it was. -CV

" -

pirho_maniac

"I should know this, but I think it's one of those songs I only ever heard while tripping and now even seeing the lyrics is making the world melt in technicolour swirls and my keyboard is singing alien insect love songs in the moments between every press and my mouse wants to love me long time and I tell it I don't swing that way and it says to me 'I don't give a damn, your ass is mine now.' and I'm left wondering why the fuck I bought a mouse with an LA accent." -

digitalraven

"I heard this album for HOURS for YEARS. So, that disproves the 'you'll get used to my music after 22 years of marriage, honey.' theory." -

ginalin

"Pigs by Pink Floyd. I lost my virginity to this song. *facepalm*" -

deza

"My dad's a cop. That song is an excellent way to piss him right the fuck off. Naturally I enjoyed playing it at loud volumes when I lived at home." -

lilpocketninja

"Three clone pigs I could handle, Mr. Floyd, but three different ones? Now you're just talkin' crazy." -

actuallyspatula

Correct Answer: Pink Floyd, "Pigs (Three Different Ones)"

"known in lesser circles as 'Who Let the Hogs Out -wolf, wolf, wolf wolf-'" -

n2_the_void

3. In the "Discworld" novels, Mr. Jonathan Teatime is hired to kill which character?

"Batman" -

wiredwizard

"Voldemort" -

yayworthy

"Miss Crumpet, the strumpet" -

etcet

(She does like to pump it. -CV)

"Mr. Coffee. Who's a friend of Mr. Radar." -

uncut_diamond

(+1, Spaceballs. -CV)

"Ms. Janet Coffeebreak" -

tony101
"William Afternoon-Brunch" -

kristinmachina

(James Second Breakfast was a much tougher mark, though. -CV)

"I suppose that leads to the Long Dark Teatime of the Soul." -

ifeedformula,

caffeineod,

i_calql8

"The dead one...with the Earl Grey in the Conservatory" -

majorsamfan

"I originally read that as 'Discoworld' and John Travolta was the first person that sprung to mind" -

its_what_we_are

"Mr. Tee-ah-TEE-may" - 9 of you

"Reminds me of how stoked I was the first time I heard of Tea Leoni. I love tea. Then I found out her name was pronounced Te-yah and I immediately lost my tea-boner." -

anticarnation1

"Before I read the book, I figured the Hogfather was a fat pig version of Marlon Brando. Or as it's more commonly known, Marlon Brando." -

falconpain,

ginalin

"The Hogfather, but he made him an offer he couldn't refuse. This consisted largely of spaghetti and meatballs." -

n2_the_void

"I would trade Christmas for Hogswatchnight in a heartbeat! Drooly baby with farm animals or DELICIOUS MEAT? There's no question here." -

lilpocketninja

Correct Answer: The Hogfather

4. In the final battle of "Star Wars: A New Hope", who was Red Six?

".*puts on cranky fanboy pants* Who calls it "A New Hope"? It's just STAR WARS, man." -

edoraslass

(I know, but man, all those stupid Ep1-3 movies screwed everyone up, and then there are folks too young to remember the very first one, and AUGH! Gotta specify for the masses, alas. -CV)

"IT'S A TRAAAAAAAAAAAP *Frog Face*" -

4492,

rivetkitten

"Silent Bob" -

wiredwizard

"Numa numa" -

akiyasan

"Luckily, his wingmates Yellow Five and Red 40 Lake fared better in the battle. (They dyed later, though.)" -

darthparadox

"I don't know. I was raised by Trekkies! It's not my fault!" -

starryeyes203

"A guy very scared of Red Seven, due to the rumoured consumption of Red Nine." -

yayworthy

"The guy who was passed over for Jabba the Hut." -

seferin

(+1, good show. -CV)

"Why is it 'RED' is the color of The Dispensibles? Good Ghod, even Porkins bought it, and he had a name!" -

blindgeoff

(To be fair, Red Five and Red Two both survived. -CV)

"I think I was concieved during that movie, which is why it always will have a special meaning for me." -

ifeedformula

(I hope Red Six wasn't involved... -CV)

"Red Six was a fat man named Porkins. Get it? Get it? A fat man named Porkins! *falls* I bet he had asthma, too." -

adria_rhiannon

"Porkins died becuase he smuggled sammiches into his Xwing instead of an R2 unit." -

tarpo

(That's a mighty fine BLT, R2. Why don't you fix me up another? -CV)

"In high school I had a friend we called Biggs and after realizing one of the pilots was also named Biggs we didn't really care who the others were. We just cheered for Biggs until he exploded. And then we cheered again." -

lirimaer

Correct Answer: Jek Porkins

5. What mythological creature was first wounded by Atalanta and finally slain by Meleager?

"The man who really would respect you in the morning, no really." -

seferin

"Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist." -

babybokal

(+1, The Princess Bride. -CV)

"Miss Piggy. The original carrier of swine flu. It comes from breeding pigs and frogs. If only someone could go back in time and warn Jim Henson. And those creepy people who make cartoon porn. The Jetsons is totally ruined for me now, btw, thanks to them." -

its_what_we_are

"The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal." -

darthparadox

(+1, HHGTTG. -CV)

"The Eurymanthean Boar. I am 98% certain that's how it's spelled. The other 2% wants the 'u' to go away. That story had entertaining degrees of drama, as indeed do so many." -

cygna_hime

(Close. The Erymanthean Boar was Hercules' problem. -CV)

"The Canterbury Bore... no, that was Chaucer." -

seekingferret

"That creepy Sphinx from 'The Neverending Story' film." -

akiyasan

"I found out recently that 'golden apples' are what the ancient Greeks called oranges. C'mon -- you're telling me the beauty pagent trophy over which the Trojan war started was citrus fruit?" -

glamsith

"Did Meleager use an atlatl?" -

sskipstress

"The Atlanta Braves?" - 4 of you
"It was a rare win for Atalanta without Greg Maddux." -

drbear

"*psst!* Atlanta has only two 'a's!" -

packbat

(Proving once again that math is hard. -CV)

"Twrch Trwyth" -

vorquellyn,

dk2022

(That was obscure. +0.5 for each of you. -CV)

Correct Answer: The Calydonian Boar

"I think I dated him in college--tubby guy, tiny eyes, snorted a lot?" -

deza

6. Tell us about the time you were the most ill.

"Was on a prop flight. Those things give you religion, whether you believe in god or not." -

seferin

"It was terrible. I had to stay home from work and relax all day." -

falconpain

"Never... mix... drinks..." -

loopyuk

" I can't drink sake anymore because of that party." -

cjtremett

"My first alcohol-induced illness was right next to some guy's shoes. To quote him, 'You don't chew your food very well, do you?' Well, jerkface, I do now!" -

adria_rhiannon

"That damn Rumplemintz disaster." -

fizrep

(True story:

fizrep and I were challenged to a game of spades, in which every time you lost a hand, you took a shot of Rumpelminz. We lost, but not by as much as we could have. He and

vulgarbarbarian paid the ultimate price for the game, though. -CV)

"There was the time I finally declared how much I hated living in a flat with three party girls to one of them, and then collapsed in front of her due to a horrific virus. They stepped over me on the way to the club." -

puredeadthingy

"I got salmonella for lunch at Hooters on the day I was blah blah blah" -

etcet

(+1 for going to Hooters. Just because. The rest of the answer is irrelevant. I mean, Hooters! -CV)

"he day after this huge party. It was totally wild; someone even died. ....Okay, it was the house reception after a funeral, and one of the dishes brought over by a helpful neighbor gave us all food poisoning. But it did an excellent job of distracting us from the grief; so if someone close to you is having a tough time dealing with a loss, you might consider ~~poisoning them~~ cooking them a nice meal." -

angelprojekt

"I had bad sushi. It was four in the morning and the bathroom was just too far away. It got everywhere, and took forever to get out of the rugs and the color off the walls. Needless to say, my family is never going to let me live down the year I ruined Christmas." -

have_at_you

"I was in traction after a car crash when the traction pin in my tibia broke. They drilled a new one in - with local anesthetic - using a hand drill. Try that sometime." -

drbear

"Well, earlier this year I had this thing where I'd cough until it triggered my gag reflex, which in turn made my nose bleed. Imagine leaning over the sink, coughing until you puke, with blood flying everywhere." -

primavera

"As a little kid, I got chicken pox Thanksgiving week, when my mom's family would all go rent cabins in state park, and I had to stay inside, but for some reason they thought it would be funny to alter a box of cereal to say "Chicken Pops" and I was pissed." -

caffeineod

" BACON LOLLIPOP UR DOIN IT WRONG. -CV

" -

nighthellcat,

fizrep

"Pregnancy with my daughter, hands down. Morning sickness lasted All. Fucking. Day. for six months. I developed a rating system for food based on how it tasted coming back up (for best upchuck aftertaste, you want Blueberry Toaster Struedels). I redecorated a staff washroom with the returns of a Faculty Appreciation Lunch. Canned peaches do not make a good nasal lube!" -

deza

And there you have it. Swine flu is topical, and we have no shame, so there it is. As an aside, CV was most ill when he had tuberculosis. Yes, a disease that in ye olden days made entire continents cringe in fear. I'm old school that way.

Thanks all for playing; hopefully none of you contracted any illnesses during this week's event. And if you did, just go home and drink it off. Alcohol cures all ills. Except alcohol poisoning.

Tune in tomorrow for more fun and goodness,

ljdq-style! It's a hoot!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL&TL

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

ntlespino.livejournal.com

Bah, zilch.

Bring on tomorrow's questions! RAWR. (fighting mood)

From:

ginalin.livejournal.com

Alcohol cures all ills. Except alcohol poisoning.

Someone needs to get this news to David Hasselhoff right away.

Yay, quoted again.

And I have fire ant bites all over my feet, which are quite painful. Texas bugs suck.

From:

i-calql8.livejournal.com

The Year of Quotage enters the second trimester! w00t! One of the worst performances of my career, and they never doubted it for a second.

"Wheezy" - 19 of you

Just curious--what was the ratio of Jeffersons Wheezies to the Toy Story 2 Wheezies?

"I redecorated a staff washroom with the returns of a Faculty Appreciation Lunch." deza

Kiddo, I've come close to doing that without the fun of pregnancy. The lunches were just that bad. The Appreciation Breakfasts too. Memo to Powers That Be: Wanna appreciate us? CASH. It works.

From:

tinamachina.livejournal.com

"Just curious--what was the ratio of Jeffersons Wheezies to the Toy Story 2 Wheezies?"

I tried to make a Harry Potter joke: Ron Wheezy--Accio inhaler!

Though named daily, it is weekly. Behold the first mystery.

LJ Daily Answers: 4 May 2009

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