LJ Daily Answers: 16 March 2009

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"As a new Texas resident, I approve of this weeks theme as it allows me to use the Longhorns slogan! Hook 'em Horns!" - angelprojekt

We have nothing to add except "Go BEVO". Because, y'know, of the horns.



1. According to Sir James Matthew Barrie, what fictional character had been Blackbeard's boatswain, and "was the only man Long John Silver ever feared"?

(Automatic -1 for all PotC-related answers. Too easy! -CV)

"I have no idea what a boatswain is... is that something like the sailor's bitch?" - b_hulsmans

(That could be anybody. Hell, the parrot can be the bitch if things get really rough. -CV)

"I'd imagine, from those yummy crunchy fried things he created, the only man Long John Silver feared was a cardiologist." - rhiannonjk

"Long John Gold. Long John Silver was scared of him because he was always first place at the pirate Olympics in the forcing-people-off-a-plank event." - demon_666

"Longer John Silver. A couple of inches can make a hell of a difference - he had Roger the Cabin Boy terrified." - jhirat_dai, many_from_one

"Chris Elliot as...
" - zihuatanejo

(Wanna buy a monkey?!? – LL)

"Captain Shakespeare. Who had a disconcerting habit of asking Silver out for waltzing." - katiebgood

(+1, Stardust. +1 to Robert de Niro, just because. -CV)

"Jar Jar Brinks. Mesa thinks he scares everybody!" - uncutdiamond

"The Goddamned Batman" - thepikey

"Cap'n Crunch" - majorsamfan, kristinmachina, rosefox8, packbat

"Chuck Norris" - drbear, iambickilometer, la_trombonista, and_be_blue

"Cpt James Tiberious Hook" - lbmango

"The Dread Pirate Roberts" - nitasee

(I don't think Hook could have gotten away with the line "I'm not really left-handed"... -CV)

"I hear the word 'swain' and it goes straight to lover, so the fact that this dude is feared by Mr LJS makes me thing he doesn't just love boats, he loves boats." - vayshti

"Captain Hook, but correct me if I'm wrong, wasn't he afraid of a little boy?" - rancidwolves

(Nope, he was angry at (and got his ass kicked by) a little boy. He was afraid of a Crocodile Of Unusual Size with a taste for human flesh. Which, to be fair, is totally justified. -CV)

"Captain Hook. You'd think the name was a description of his prosthetic appendage, but really it was his street name for all those long nights in the forest, picking up Lost Boys. It wasn't really his fault he was perverse; he would've gone for the mermaids instead, but they all had crabs." - angelprojekt

"Dustin Hoffman" - mrbankies, jenny_1981, confusedpuppy

(Who was good in Hook, although I'd have paid extra to see him in "Rain Pirate". 'Definitely gotta walk the plank, yeah. Walk the plank. Definitely the plank, yeah.' -CV)

"I wonder what his name was before he got his hand lopped off and replaced with a hook, Captain James Hand? Ooooh, look at his opposable thumb! Scary!" - uadlika
"Captain Hook, who apparently was born with that name. Oh the irony." - ginalin
"And everyday he thanked God Almighty he hadn't been born the son of Thomas Nutless." - blindgeoff

Correct Answer: Captain Hook



2. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the band:
It doesn't matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel that I'll convey
Some inner truth of vast reflection

"This is not the Sting reference you're looking for" - mrbankies

(Your Jedi mind tricks will not work on us, boy. -CV)

"I dunno. I stopped listening after the singer admitted it doesn't matter what he says. I figured he oughtta know." - ophelialaughs

(It really didn't matter what he said, since 12 quizlings thought he was singing with infection. -CV)

"What is... CV is drunk on Gin & Tonic again? Thank you. I'll take LJDQ Drinking Games for 200, Alex." - cholma

(Oh, that could be any day. -CV)

"Doesn't the next line of that song go 'and fish in the sky, and a big monkey pie'?" - umbralcorax

"I misread inflection as infection, which also makes sense in context. I have a lot of sympathy for infection. One, in particular. Sinusitis, the inner truth which makes you sound like Christian Bale in The Dark Knight." - anticarnation1 and a few other Infected

"Wow... it's a song about inflection points, reflection, and inner truth? I didn't know there were that many songs about geometry." - seekingferret

"Dunno, but their rhyming skill and obsession with syllable-counting tells me the lyricist was an engineer in a past life." - katiebgood

"Oprah cut an album?" - faery_wing

"that's that paris hilton song, right?" - blackfrances

"I'm thinking Beatles. Why am I thinking Beatles?" - secret_plasures

(Probably because there's one crawling up your leg right now. -CV)

"'My Fake British Accent' by Madonna. She did have some British in her until she divorced Guy." - kristinmachina

"I got arrested in a college bathroom in the late 70s for possession of a John Popper." - captainsblog

"The hook will bring you back, but the pudding and gin will make you stay." - a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

Correct Answer: "Hook" by Blues Traveler



3. What law of physics (originally described in Latin as Ut tensio, sic vis) describes the extension of a spring with respect to the force applied to it?

"Physics was all invisible bikes to me. Chemistry was like lego. I liked lego." - vayshti

(And the spiffington Award for Total Gibberish this week goes to... vayshti! -CV)

"You cannae change th' laws of physics!" - lbmango, cholma, wrestlingdog

(+1, Star Trekkin'. -CV)

"Sexy Physics! squeak-a squeak-a squeak-a" - blackfrances

"I bet Mr. Fantastic knows." - its_what_we_are

(I'll bet his wife also knows. -CV)

"The Energy Policy Act of 2005, in which the US Congress extended Spring by two weeks" - howeird

"The Booooing Principle, most aptly demonstrated by Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius, when he would launch himself in a giant slingshot at the Roadrunner." - ginalin

"May the force be with you. to which, clearly, the only appropriate reply is: And also with you." - faery_wing

"The only Latin I know is Vini, Vidi, Vici which I think roughly translates to 'I came, I saw, I played LJDQ.'" - ifeedformula

"Something something something tension. There's a reason I'm flunking physics for the third time." - deesarrachi

"I was never really hooked on physics, so I don't know this one." - smellmyfeet

"Thanks to my Latin homework, I can actually translate that. Right now we're reading about this corrupt senator running around the provinces stealing things from temples and abducting young women. Seriously, all the crazy Roman emperors and they give us a Benny Hill skit?" - elvenpiratelady

(Even 2000 years ago, Yakkety Sax was FTW. -CV)

"thanks to the years of studying latin I can translate your phrase as 'as the extension, so the force' let's throw that into my built in technobabble generator and it comes out something like: the extension of a spring is directly proportional to the force exercised upon it." - b_hulsmans

(That is, amazingly enough, correct. You may have the Latinus Geekus Maximus Award of the week. It would come with a -1, but the Romans hadn't invented negative numbers at the time. -CV)

"Id Slinky est, id Slinky est, forum funicula est toyus wonderfulcrum" - captainsblog

(You would have been Latinus Geekus Maximus, up until "wonderfulcrum" cost me a mouthful of precious Mountain Dew. -CV)

"It's log, it's log, it's better then bad, it's good!" - lots42

(+1, Ren and Stimpy. -CV)

"Slinky v. Stairs, decided by the Supreme Court in 1964." - drbear

"The only time I ever got detention, it was for putting a dent in the ceiling while experimenting with Hooke's Law from the second story of our high school. My science teacher was amused, but the assistant principal wasn't." - seekingferret

"Hooke's Law. Hooke was a bastard and he and Newton were enemies. When Newton was elected to a certain position after Hooke's death, the first thing he did was to pull his portrait from the wall and burn it." - puredeadthingy

Correct Answer: Hooke's Law



4. What is the capital of Namibia?

"Everybody who answered 'N' raise your hand... and smack yourselves with it." - alkion04

(The following people have been smacked courtesy of alkion04: seekingferret, gigglingpixie, cygna_hime, yayworthy, seferin, ophelialaughs, meloglas, angelprojekt, wrestlingdog, jechocochan, demon_666, lins_arosa, jhirat_dai, glamsith, umbralcorax, dk2022, nadat, jennielf, rikchik, confusedpuppy, rancidwolves, criminalkitten)

"Definetly not Nambia. That would be way too easy, and you guys are bastards." - severedscythe

(Thank you. -AL&CV&LL&TL)

"namibia city. shit, i mean albany." - blackfrances, gruyere, zihuatanejo

"Nabisco. Where their slave population of gnome-sized elves make Hookies, which are delinquent (and delicious) cookies." - traveller_blues

"I read this question as 'what is the capital of NAMBLA' and am sending you guys the therapy bill." - deesarrachi

(And, citing the old tradition where the mods drank every time we traumatized a quizling... bottoms up! -CV)

"African or European? Oh, sorry, I thought you said 'Assyria'..." - iambickilometer

"Is that in Africa? I don't know Africa. Except for that Toto song. Ugh, the earworm...it burns..." - nitasee

"Namibia...that's in Africa. I feel that, as an American, I'm doing well just knowing that much." - secret_plasures

"I looked so quickly and thought I saw the word 'Manila,' and in my mind went, 'That's the capital of Peru'" - kagomeshuko
"Shit, man. I don't even know the capital of Conneticut, how the hell am I supposed to know about some place in Europe?" - thepikey

(It's tough to be so wrong in so short a space. Bravo to both of you. -CV)

"Namibia sounds sort of like Ambien backwards if you can't spell. Sleep meds are awesome. 'Ambien: For when you need to sleep so badly you don't care about the toaster-headed gorillas that tell you to punch nuns.'" - lots42

"In 25 years, it will be Starbucksville." - la_trombonista

(No, I think that's Seattle. -CV)

"Isn't that where the new Resident Evil game takes place? Raccoon City?" - tarpo

"Forget Namibia..." - kristinmachina, babybokal

"Hakuna Matata" - david_deacon

"Namipotamia" - ntlespino

"Namiblantis" - wiredwizard

"Otjomuise. But you probably mean its slave name, Windhoek. Not content with keeping tha brothas down, now you gotta oppress their cities as well! " - igneous_smurf

Correct Answer: Windhoek


(We interrupt our regularly scheduled quiz with a paid message from our Namibian sponsors.)

"DEAR MOST HONORABLE MODERATOR:

ENGR.MARK J.ROBBIN, OF JERRY WAXMAN.,I WANT TO NOTIFY YOU OF A PAYMENT THAT WAS MADE TO YOUR ACCOUNT BY ONE OF OUR CLIENT AND YOU SHOULD CONFIRM THE FUNDS IN YOUR ACCOUNT AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

THE CLIENTS HAS MADE THE PAYMENT TO YOUR ACCOUNT AND YOU SHOULD GET BACK TO ME CONFIRMING YOU HAD RECEIVED THE FUNDS IN YOUR ACCOUNT SOON.

PLEASE KINDLY RE-CONFIRM YOUR INFORMATION AS BELOW :

FULL NAMES :
ADDRESS :
PHONE NUMBER :
ACCCOUNT NUMBER:
SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER:
MOTHERS MAIDEN NAME:
IS MOTHER HOT (ATTACH PICTURE IF CHECK):

NOTE : YOU ARE TO DEDUCT 10% FROM THE FUNDS BEFORE SENDING THE REST BALANCE TO THE ATTORNEY GENERAL LOCATED IN THE INDEPENDENT REPUBLIC OF NAMIBIA VIA WESTERN UNION.

REGARDS,
ENGR.WIILIAMS E. MATHINS.

P.S. WE CAN ALSO USE YOUR FONDUE SETS" - captainsblog

(And now back to our regularly scheduled program.)



5. William Shatner played the titular role in which television police drama?

"Heehee, you said titular." - yes, marasca, someone ALWAYS falls for it.

"You're going for 'titular' and Hooker in the same question? Brave, BRAVE mods!" - drbear

(We dare many brave new things. -AL&CV&LL&TL)

"It must've been in the past five/ten years, because he was less tit-ular before that..." - and_be_blue
"Now I'm going to spend all afternoon thinking about fat pudgy Shatner's man-boobs. I hate you, ljdq mods. I hate you all." - thepikey

(We drink again! -AL&CV&LL&TL)

"Oh, now you made me think of Kirk as a hooker. Thanks." - rosefox8, uadlika

(...and again! -AL&CV&LL&TL)

"I'd argue that Heather Locklear had the titular role in that one. hubba hubba!" - glamsith

"My mind wanted to answer Shaft. I'm now fighting to unsee Shatner in that role." - vayshti

(Tonight on Sci-Fi: Shaft Trek.
Scotty: "Ach, cap'n, ye're th'sex machine, the Starfleet dick who gets all the chicks."
Crew: "SHAFT!"
Capt. J.T. Shaft: "Damn right."
Spock: "It is my understanding that Captain Shaft is a powerful fornicator of mothe-"
Crew: "Watch your mouth!"
McCoy: "Dammit, Spock, we're talking about Shaft here!"
Rand: "And I can dig it."
Thank you, and good night. -CV)

"I call my guns Hoff and Shat, cos they were big once but now just want to sleep with common people...like you <3 CV" - anticarnation1

(-1 for telling me the truth about myself. -CV)

"It would be cool to be arrested by William Shatner. 'You have the... RIGHT... to remain... silent.'" - a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

"I've never figured out how William Shatner keeps getting cast in things. Did the people making Boston Legal really say, 'We'd better get the guy Who. Played. Captain. Kirk. And. T. J. Hooker.'" - seekingferret

(No, they said "We'd better get the guy who can speak Esperanto." -CV)

"I often wished for a TJ Hooker/Quincy crossover so we could have an hour of pauses and angry growls." - tarpo

(Throw in Magnum, P.I. and his eyebrows and we've got a hit! -CV)

"A Hairpiece of the Action" - i_calql8

"BJ Hooker" - sciamachy, jhirat_dai

Correct Answer: T.J. Hooker

"Tiberius James Hooker, I always suspected." - nitasee, blindgeoff

(I actually never thought of that. +1 for you. -CV)



6. Name something that always manages to grab your attention.

"Number of quizlings who respond 'boobies!': ∞" - marasca, where ∞ is a number approximately equal to 16

"induringBrazilianvolleyballteam But boobs in general. Ass too, if done right, and thighs. Also bacon." - pirho_maniac

"my mother in law, wearing a tiara, at MY wedding." - jenny_1981

(Oh. My. GOD!! – LL)

"Puns. Even if they're the lowest form of humor." - germankitty

(Unless you think of them first… - LL)

"Teenaged boys. I'm in training for cougardom years in advance." - duia

"My fiance's arse Shoes." - meloglas

"Free wine samples at the grocery store" - ginalin

"Octomom. the name makes me envision some bizarre sea perpetually spawning sea creature." - faery_wing

(Delete the words "sea" and "sea" and you are essentially correct. -CV)

"Tea. Tea is second only to oxygen in my list of needs, and it only just beats cake. For the first few hours of the day, that's all that's going to get my attention." - lins_arosa

(You're British, aren't you? -CV)

"Ordinarily, I'd submit a photo here of a woman with large breasts, but I'm trying to be a decent person and forego the smutty references. So . . . just imagine a photo of a woman with large breasts." - david_deacon

(Strange, this isn't the david_deacon we've come to know and love. Fortunately, wiredwizard stepped up to the plate with this NSFW image. -CV)

"TVs in public spaces. It doesn't matter if they have volume or not, my eyes are like 'oooh! bright shinies! let's completely ignore the person I'm talking to in order to watch 15 seconds of something I don't care about!'" - vayshti

"Them short curlies getting caught between elastic of der panties and der skin! OWWW! I'm AWAKE!" - joscelin

"ADORABLE KITTENS. They get me in to look at the quiz every time I see them." - and_be_blue, igneous_smurf

(You mean like this...)

"" - captainsblog, drbear

"After having just seen Watchmen, I'd say Dr. Manhattan's undulating blue naughty-bits." - nitasee

"" - alkion04, la_trombonista, jennielf



And there you have it. Another week, another batch of potential funny available for those of you hooked on the quiz. Feel free to go and get other people hooked; it's good for them, and cheaper than crack. How can they refuse?

Thanks to all who played this week; hope you enjoyed, and of course we hope to see you again soon. Like, tomorrow. Be there, or else... something bad will happen. Real bad. Dogs and cats living together mass hysteria kind of bad. And we wouldn't want that. No sir/ma'am.

So, in summary, cheerio, and see you tomorrow.

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL&TL

Comments

[rikchik.livejournal.com]

*smack* ow!

Ditto!

[jechocochan.livejournal.com]

*smack*