ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 23 February 2009

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ANIMALITY!

1. What was Harry Chapin's only number one song?

"'Walk like a penguin.' Oh wait, that was Chaplin. And his first name wasn't Harry either. 'Walk like an Egyptian?'" -

vayshti

(As sung by Chapinkhamen and The Bangles? -CV)

"The only country western song to be remixed by the Bee Gees and played at Studio 69 in the late 70's of course! 'This Saddle Is Chapin My Harry Ass'" -

its_what_we_are

"Vialan cancerta #3" -

yayworthy

"The question, musical
Therefore the answer must be Sting
yet it is not so" -

naraht

(I bet Sting wouldn't have messed up his haiku syllable count, though. -CV)

"She Didn't Like His Apartment So He Knocked Her Flat" -

csi_tokyo3

"I'll just say, mis-reading that as 'Charlie Chaplin's number-two schlong' really makes for a double take." -

etcet

"Knights of the Round Table" -

wiredwizard

"Whole Lotta Chapin Goin' On" -

i_calql8

"The only Harry Chapin song I know is about a banana truck crash in Pennsylvania on what is now I-81." -

sskipstress and six others

"Rats in the Ladle - a heart-rending folk tune he wrote to make people aware of the terrible conditions of starvation around the world." -

jhirat_dai

"I can't think of why a cat would want to be in a cradle, unless it was to eat the baby..." -

marasca

"With all the nursery-rhyme references in that song, he really missed the window for a good Puss in Boots joke." -

youngcurmudgeon

"We only heard him blow off his son three times and we're supposed to believe he never paid attention to him?" -

falconpain

" Why yes, pictures involving boobs are always awesome. -CV

" -

germankitty

"Cats in the Cradle. Arguments over whether that song was good or not often caused bad fights between me and my father. Ironic." -

using_chemicals

"How do you get a cat to stay in a cradle in the first place?" -

jenny_1981

(Krazy Glue usually works for me. -CV)

"EMTs later reported that his only #2 song was 'Truck on the Long Island Expressway.'" -

captainsblog

(+1, harsh. -CV)

Correct Answer: Cat's in the Cradle

"I hear Snoop remixxle schizzled it as 'Dawgs in the Crib'" -

mujubius

2. Brave Sir Robin nearly stood up to which vicious creature?

"I wasn't the only one that forgot Valentine's Day, then, I see." -

jhirat_dai

"I read this on Monday, and its now Thursday and I couldn't remember why I was whistling the Brave Sir Robin song all week.. Now I know why.. Its because you are bastards." -

tarpo

(That is correct. -CV)

"My ex MIL" -

sestree

(-1 to me for appending the letter F to that. -CV)

"The Goddamned Batman" -

grayjedi,

i_calql8

"A vicious trouser snake, my lord." -

kittycatness

"The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man." -

csi_tokyo3

"The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Trall" -

thepikey

"Dick Butkus, still the best football name in history." -

drbear

"the frumious bandersnatch" -

marasca,

ntlespino

(+1, snatch. -CV)

"Sir Lancelot - vicious when he's drinking and trying to steal your wife." -

joee_girl

"I dread the day when a devoted Monty Python fan discovers I am actually named Robin..." -

packbat

(Everybody, meet Sir Robin

packbat! Singing may commence. -CV)

"A muddy barnyard
The red-breast trembles, afraid
The chicken awaits" -

lookingforwater

"This the same episode where Eyore did angeldust and wigged out on Piglet. Sir Robin pulled out his Desert Eagle .50cal and laid waste to the vicious beast. Took four shots, but he did it." -

bassnote

"I bet it was whatever creature raped his nostrils." -

using_chemicals

Correct Answer: The Chicken of Bristol

(Yes, this is correct. Go rent the movie again and listen. -CV)

3. What is the superstitious explanation for why the Chicago Cubs have not won a World Series championship since 1908?

Quizlings who said "because they SUCK": 15 19 28 31 39
Quizlings who had apoplectic fits:

ladyiapetus,

i_calql8

"I don't care as long as they keep losing. Chicagoans are insufferable enough when they lose." -

drbear

"Because it's the only baseball team I own a jacket for. My voodoo juju is enough to to make any team suck, even backwards through time." -

vayshti

"They're godless killing machines. Everyone knows sports championships are determined by whose side God's on." -

rissaofthesaiya

"Because Chicago is not the natural habitat of the cub? I can't remember what species of cub they are supposed to be." -

saphireseas

"Mrs. O'Leary's cow? Or am I thinking of that other Chicago thing?" -

peaseblossom03

"Not enough voodoo practitioners on the team." -

vorquellyn

(I think Jobu needs a refill! -CV)

"Yogi Beara broke a mirror on the 13th floor of a hotel room by opening an umbrella indoors." -

marasca

"I think it's because they don't score as many home runs as the other teams." -

spatialrift47

(+1, technically correct. -CV)

"They touch themselves at night." -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

"Cubs are basically immature pussies. Can I say pussy in the LJDQ?" -

anticarnation1

(If our readers haven't figured out how offensive we are by now, then they're pussies. -CV)

"Because without depressed Cubs fans, depressed Red Sox fans would have no one to talk to....what? The Red Sox have won a Series recently? Well, damn. I guess the Cubbies have no one to talk to at all." -

dslartoo

"frankly, I have trouble blaming an animal when your own fans are as dumb as Steve Bartman." -

seekingferret,

falconpain,

kristinmachina

"They will not succeed in this quest until they reburied the Buddha's sacred mummified toe under Wrigley Field." -

fizrep

" When you get in trouble, you're in the doghouse. When you're totally fucked, you're in the goathouse. -CV

" -

lemoncreamsicle

"You'd think the Winchester brothers would have taken care of that billy goat thing by now." -

tears_of_nienna

"I think it has something to do with a goat but I always thought goats were good luck. Or maybe their heads were filled with blood and that was good luck? That can’t be right. Anyway, if the Cubs played for my city, I’m pretty sure people would be chucking bloodied goat’s heads on the field because we don’t know how to express our pride correctly. It would make baseball interesting finally." -

thirdgrace

"Why would the Cubs blame LJ's Frank the Goat?" -

cholma,

psychopompos,

deza

(In Soviet baseball, goat sexes you! -CV)

" If you were ever looking for the origin of the word 'goatfuck', look no further. -CV

" -

abouthipsanck3s

Correct Answer: The Curse of the Billy Goat

"Talk about a literal scapegoat." -

rachelstorm

4. Col. Gregory "Pappy" Boyington commanded which squadron during World War II?

"The Fighting Hellfish" - four Simpsons veterans

"The Flying Tigers" - 16 of you

"The Mighty Ducks" -

marasca

(+1 'cause I am old and lame and like that movie – LL)

"The Papayas." -

iambickilometer

"Star Fox." -

falconpain

"The Soggy Bottom Boys squadron. They were men of constant sorrows." -

its_what_we_are

"Teen Girl Squadron! Brutally vicious and matched cycles." -

tarpo

(+1, Strong Bad. -CV)

"The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad." -

i_calql8

(+1, Kill Bill. -CV)

"The A-Team." -

sskipstress,

joscelin

"'Pappy'... Boyington... 'Boy'... Is this a bad MBLA joke?" -

frequencyshift

"The Knock This Battery Off My Shoulder Squadron, also known as the Everreadys." -

drbear and 9 others

"With a name like 'Pappy'... the Beverly Hillbillies? 'Yeeee-haw! Git them Zeroes, Cletus!'" -

thepikey

"I'm sorry. It's hard to get past the 'Pappy' part. All I can picture in my head is Pappy from the Popeye comic strips. Urgh guh guh guh guh! Whooooa!" -

ifeedformula

"The Black Sheep Squadron. Mmm, I loved that show. Saturday afternoon syndication. I had such a thing for Pappy. ...shut it. I was twelve!" -

flawed_karma

"Sadly, the entire squadron was shot down by the 45th Luftwaffe Squadron 'Die Papschmearen' in one bloody afternoon over Hanover." -

fizrep

Correct Answer: Black Sheep Squadron

5. Barnard 33 (located in bright nebula IC 434) is more commonly known as what?

HHGTTG references: 15

"That scene in the Restaurant at the End of the Universe where the sentient dogs from Sirius are throwing breadrolls at each other cracks me up every time." -

fizrep

"The Basingstoke roundabout." -

rissaofthesaiya

(Cheeky roundabouts. Might as well be alien objects. -CV)

"Surely it's not Sirius! It is Sirius, and don't call me Shirley." -

kristinmachina

(+1, Airplane. –CV&LL)

"Invisible if you live in a city with heaps of light pollution." -

puredeadthingy

(Which would be... pretty much every city ever? Except Ember, maybe. -CV)

"I watched the Super Bowl at Barnard a few years ago. That was terrifying. They deconstructed the commercials in a post-feminist context." -

seekingferret

"Barnard Star is known for winning more than $600,000 racing, but around the barn, he's known as 'Peg Leg', if you know what I mean." -

etumukutenyak

"I see the trick. It couldn't possibly be Barnard's Star, for only a phenomenally dull-witted quizster would give away the answer in the question, and you are not a dull-witted quizster. However, you know that I know you are not a dull-witted quizster, and therefore you would have taken that into account in forming the question - thus it could not be anything but Barnard's Star. But I have not even begun! For I know that you know this, and therefore you must necessarily have realized that I would draw this conclusion..." -

packbat

(Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. -CV)

"'The smelly one'. Hercules forgot to clean that one out when he was doing his nine tasks for that posh nob who can't be bothered to clean his own barns." -

bababanaba

"In the outer dark
The celestial horse rides
I blame Carl Sagan" -

lookingforwater

" This is the best pillow ever made. -CV

" -

mistressjennfer speaking for 13 other mafiosas

"God's Own 'My Little Pony'" -

thepikey

"as pretty much everyone who saw my desktop image of it describes it: man that is one gay looking nebula." -

b_hulsmans

Correct Answer: The Horsehead Nebula

"much prettier than Horseheads, NY." -

sskipstress

6. What arouses your animal instincts?

"I find it funny that this theme comes a day after I saw a movie called animal where a guy gets animal organs and suddenly behaves like all the animals..." -

b_hulsmans

(-1, Rob Schneider. -CV)

"Arouses? That's really the word you're going with? How many bestiality jokes do you want to sift through?" -

seekingferret

(Says the Quizling with "ferret" in his LJ name… - LL)

"You use words like 'arouse' on purpose to bring out the perverts. Well, I shall not take the bait." -

blueskypenguin

(Curses, they're on to our painfully obvious shenanigans. -CV)

"I predict 'Your Mom' and pictures of the Brazilian women's volleyball team to make appearences in this one." -

kristinmachina

(Brazilian references: 5. Your Mom references: 11. Your Dad references: 1.)

"I'm showing up Monday for the beaver jokes, and I don't want to be disappointed." -

drbear

"My psychiatrist said I shouldn't answer questions like these, so I'm off to take a cold shower and re-read my restraining orders. " -

jhirat_dai

"Come between me and my Krispy Kreme and you'll find out!" -

bassnote

"I can't answer that question because my mommy reads LJDQ." -

sskipstress

"Why! Why does all the crap we consume have to be tested on animals first? A rabbit doesn't need lipstick! A Rabbit doesn't use hair spray! A monkey doesn't need pills to get revved up for hot monkey sex! It's people man, we're miserable!" -

thepikey

(+1 for something, but I forgot what that's from. -CV)

"Depends on which animal instinct you want. Snappish Shrew happens for about a week once a month. Threaten my kids and I go Mama Bear on your ass. Unfortunately the Sex Kitten is locked away until the other half gets back from this $&#%&#@ deployment." -

deza

"When I've had a little too much caffiene, or, you know, alcohol, I do like to pretend I'm a velociraptor..." -

kaitimae

(Clever girl... -CV)

" Hunting animals for their fur might be objectionable to some, but hunting people for dressing like animals should be objectionable to none. -CV

Hunting animals for their fur might be objectionable to some, but hunting people for dressing like animals should be objectionable to none. -CV

" -

using_chemicals

"Chocolate or Richard Dean Anderson - or a chocolate covered Richard Dean Anderson." -

majorsamfan

"Denim miniskirts and velvet chokers. When I am rich and can afford maids, their outfits are going to be singularly spectacular!" -

mattwolf

"Sunbeams! Alas, my animal instincts most resemble those of a sleepy cat." -

marasca

"the same f*&$ing b*^#@ who cuts me off on my way to work every day. I get straight Law of the Jungle on her a$$." -

frequencyshift

And the animals have it. While this quiz might have gone to the dogs, we're not horsing around with our answers. We know you can't bear to have a Monday without answers, and I'm too lazy to fish for more puns, and a bird in the hand is not worth a snake on a plane, and, uh, rutabega.

Thanks to all who played, and welcome aboard first-timers! Hope you all had fun; remember to go out and tell everyone about us. The more, the merrier!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL