ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 26 January 2009

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

I was going to give a global -1 because no one said "YOOOOOOOO JOE!", but then all your Jonas Brothers hate warmed my heart.

1. What is the largest city in South Africa?

"'Can I have a consonant?'
'Have a "J".'
'Can I have a vowel?'
'How about an "O"?'
'Big lot of help you guys are, thanks.'
'You're very welcome!'" -

jechocochan

(That is EXACTLY the kind of help we would offer. -AL)
(And look, all we did was steal those two letters from your username. -CV)

"I'm an American, dammit! I don't know anything about geography!!! A third of me can't even locate the United States on a map of the world!" -

spiralgirl1
"As an American, I can freely say that I don't care." -

zxwx

(My fellow citizens, as of last Tuesday those days of lazy Americanism are over. We have a new President now, & we're also supposed to care, & hope, & answer the call to service. Now grab a map & start studyin'. -AL)

"Brazil? No wait, that South America... Hmmm, Cape Cod? I dont know, I failed my Geography GCSE" -

meloglas

(It's ok, AL, see, they're doing it across the pond as well. -CV)

"Mosambique? That sounds African, doesn't it? ...is that even a city?" -

tarnera

(Yes it's African, no it's not a city, and... just no in general. -CV)

"That big space in the middle of the country. It's Lesotho, isn't it?" -

houseofknaus,

yayworthy,

i_calql8

"Diplomatica Immunita" -

fizrep

(+1, Lethal Weapon 2. -CV)

"The Lost City of Opar." -

laughinacademy,

lookingforwater

(+1, Tarzan. -CV)

"Like land area or population? Cause it's all really going to depend on what house the white people are hiding in." -

nhudris_embrace

"Cape Town, the town where everyone wears capes. 'Cause it's the Town of Capes. Superman would love to live there." -

amphelice,

13742

"CAIRO is embedded in 'South Africa.' I think that's larger than anything else I can find, but I haven't used a computerized anagram checker yet. It's definitely larger than Johannesburg. " -

seekingferret

"Johannesberg, which was renamed today (20 Jan 2009) "Obamandela" in honor of the inauguration of the 44th POTUS and Nelson Mandela. " -

majorsamfan

(Wait, really? – LL)

"JohannSebastianBachBurg. " -

la_trombonista,

palapalooza,

starryeyes203,

dither_spaz

"Today I learned the best word ever: Spatchcocking. It means something, I'm sure, but that's irrelevant. Just say it: Spatchcocking. Spatchcock. Spatch. Cock. Just rolls off the tongue. " -

angelchicken

(It means you remove the backbone of a chicken and flatten it out to cook it quicker/better. It's never quite worked for me, but I'm willing to try again. ::eyes

angelchicken. – LL)

"Jo'burg, where my ex-sister-in-law had a gardener called Fortunate Lucky Experience who decided to plant a lovely herbaceous border with what was (much) later discovered to be cannabis plants. " -

igneous_smurf

"Johannjacobjingleheimerschmidtenburg. " -

eyeharvester

"Johanesburg, which is Dutch for 'City of Joes'. Everyone who lives there was named Joe, by law. Even females, just without the 'e', like 'Little Women.' Everyone eats at Joe's. Until some upstart named Nelson came along, and ended discrimination against non-Joes." -

kristinmachina

Correct Answer: Johannesburg

2. The Disney Channel movie "Camp Rock" featured which musical group?

"The jonas brothers, for some reason all the gay guys I know like them. I just see a 3 prepubescent boys who are playing with their dad's guitars. " -

b_hulsmans

(0.o. The innuendo on that is disturbing… - LL)

"* tries to estimate the number of 'this one time, at band camp' jokes there will be, and calculator explodes *" -

grayjedi

"Is it The Jonas Brothers? I only know this because I have a twelve year old daughter who thinks the sun rises and sets in their tight, tiny little pants. Between The Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus, her preteen years have filled my house with earloads of gooey adolescent pop noise. I occasionally make her listen to 80s hair bands in my car (where I control the music, bwahahaha!) for revenge. " -

ginalin

"Prince, singing his new hit 'I Made Hannah Montana My Bitch'. He made the Jonas Brothers sing back up and at the end of the song he did a triple spin, dropped into the splits, bounced up, smacked the oldest brother in the head with his guitar, and was carried off by a flock of doves. " -

tony101

"The overrated curly haired pretty looking brothers. I can never remember their band's name. All I know is that it's a rip off of highschool musical, which is already admittedly crap. " -

severedscythe

"Camp Rock, must be Culture Club. Is that too obvious? " -

many_from_one

"The Village People" -

lookingforwater

"HANSON 2.0! But with perms!" -

freezerjerky

"I think they were called the We're Sopranos Until They Finally Drops. " -

mattwolf

"Billy & The Boingers" -

wiredwizard

"If Queen didn't figure, they had no right to call it camp at all. " -

johnwwells,

broken_moons

"THERE ARE NO SIBLING GROUPS WORTH MENTIONING OTHER THAN THE BEE GEES! " -

germankitty

"Their name is Jonas and they're carrying the wheel." -

forgedpixels,

oxbabiblondeyxo

Correct Answer: The Jonas Brothers

3. Who was the loquacious simian supervillain who frequently battled the Powerpuff Girls?

"Mojo Jojo. Jojo arigautau, mojo roboto, domo.... domo.... " -

1angelette

"Grape Ape! " -

grayjedi,

dslartoo

"Jane Goodall! No, wait. Huh. " -

severedscythe

"Muhahaha..evil monkeys are the best. What would've made it better was if he'd been a FLYING monkey. " -

ifeedformula

"I have no idea what 'loquacious' means, but it sounds steamy." -

spot_loves_me,

forgedpixels, and

b_hulsmans,

oxbabiblondeyxo
"I'm not exactly sure what loquacious means, but Jesus Christ did I love me some Mojo-jojo when I watched that show." -

_datenshi_

(Today's LJDQ Word of the Day is loquacious: talkative. -AL)
(As usual, we're all about the learnin'. -LL)

"Mojojojo. Just one slip of the finger and it's almost an evil laugh, 'MUJUJUJU!'" -

jechocochan

"How much of a supervillian can a drunk monkey be? " -

majorsamfan

(That's loquacious, not libatious. – LL)

"Hahahahaha Mojo Jojo. I always wanted to touch his brain. Squishy squishy. I am channeling Sylar. Mmmm... Hottest villain this side of the moon. Mojo Jojo, that is, not Sylar. Psyche! " -

demon_666

"Shock, the Monkey. " -

wumbawoman

(+1, Peter Gabriel)

"Mr. Mojo Jojo rising... " -

kristinmachina

"Speaking of weirdo adults who hang with teenagers, one of Mojo Jojo's plan was to dress up as a little girl and infiltrated a Powerpuff spleepover party. I don't know what is more dirsturbing, crossdepress-pedophellia (pedo-dressing) or the fact the three most powerful crimefighters in the world didn't notice their new best friend had more body hair then Hurley from LOST. " -

lots42

"Why it is MoJo JoJo, for no one else could be the villian to whom you are referring except for MoJo JoJo for no other villian is sufficiently simian and also hates the Powerpuff Girls as much as MoJo JoJo and also no other villian keeps his frickin BRAIN in a frickin DOME. " -

corax_onyx

"'Loquacious simian supervillain'? I think you just described my dream job. " -

eyeharvester

"You're just trying to get me to admit I watch the Powerpuff Girls. Well, it's not gonna work." -

nhudris_embrace

"I've never watched the cartoon, but I've seen stills. Those girls are freakishly malformed and, truth be told, a little scary. Is this what we want our young girls to aspire to?" -

stagemanager

"I always thought it was Powderpuff Girls. Thanks for setting me straight LJDQ! :)" -

palapaloozaa

"HoJo JoJo. He later started a hotel chain." -

darthparadox

"Mojito-mo-mo? No, that's what I want on Fridays after work. Never mind." -

twystedfate

"Mojo Jojo, which is great fun to say and would probably would work well as a chant at a sports event." -

wrestlingdog

"Mojo Jojo. The cartoon frightens me far less than my cousin with the same (nick) name." -

caffeineod

"Y'know, superpowers or not, I always thought the villains on that show were pretty wimpy to be able to be beaten by three five-year-olds. Especially Mojojojo - how pathetic do you have to be to get your ass kicked by three five-year-olds REPEATEDLY?" -

undonebeauty

"Mojo Jojo. Which is the same in every translation except for Spanish, because all those j's make it sound like some weird Santa laugh (i.e., 'Mohohoho'). So they just call him Bob." -

angelprojekt

(I was actually believing you until you said "Bob". -AL)

Correct Answer: Mojo Jojo

4. In Norse mythology, what was the home of the frost and rock giants?

"So is this where the frost and rock giants got together to give birth to Stone Cold Steve Austin? " -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

"The Norse Pole! " -

undersea,

secret_plasures

"... can I check the D&D Monster Manual on this one? " -

johnwwells

(Better off with AD&D Deities and Demigods, mate. -CV)

"Aaaaaaargh, I wrote an essay on this subject just two years ago, and now I can't remember a goddamn detail and it's killing me aaaargh I hate not remembering this dammit

ljdq for asking this aaaaaargh! " -

amphelice

"Dottsendashes. It was part of the Norse code to live there. " -

i_calql8

"I used to be sort of obsessed with Norse mythology: now all I can remember is that supposedly we're all living on a giant tree. Which wouldn't be that disconcerting if there weren't a GIANT FLIPPING SQUIRREL living in said tree. Not even kidding." -

oldstarnewshine

(Bonus trivia: The squirrel's name was Ratatoskr. He was a messenger squirrel, because the Norse didn't have pigeons and shit. -CV)

"My mother's house. It's an ice palace built solely on guilt trips and backhanded compliments." -

star_bunnies

"The mountain at the end of career mode in Guitar Hero III. I believe that it is called 'Jamminheim.' " - Llefster

"You said rock giants, so I'll go with Aerosmithville." -

using_chemicals

(No deal. Between Homer Simpson crushing them, their lame soundtrack for Armageddon, and Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, they, and you, get a -1. -CV)

"There's never a wrong time for this video." -

fizrep

"All that comes to mind when I think of Rock Giants are AC/DC, Black Sabbath and Def Leppard." -

lins_arosa

(Let's see that's... plus 1, 2... yeah, +3. -AL)

"My pants. There's a pretty big orogeny occuring there these days." -

palapaloozaa

"Wow, you guys are OBSESSED with frost and snow and cold and whatever at this time of year, aren't you? It's not winter all the way around the world, you know. In fact, as soon as I finish this quiz I'm going for a nice, cool swim to prevent heatstroke or something similar." -

chaotic_cupcake

(-5!!! -AL&LL&TL)
(Not from me, though; I might not like the cold, but I hate swimming even more. Carry on. -CV)

"Everything I know about Norse mythology I learned from Stargate... But it seems to have let me down just when I need it most. Nooooo, Stargate, why do you forsake me?!" -

_datenshi_

"Wasilla (aka 'You can see Valhalla from my back yard!')" -

howeird

"Jotunheim, one that i actually know for once and i dont have to guess! The ruler is Thrym, and its home to the well of wisdom, which is guarded by Mimir... Ok now i just sound like a geek dont i? " -

meloglas

(You sure do. But you didn't mention the squirrel's name. -CV)

"Jottenheim (Probably misspeeled). You get there via the Bifrost Bridge, the third 'Heim' on the left, just past Fenris the enormous wolf..." -

blindgeoff

"Jotunheim. Thank you, Neil Gaiman, for educating me on anything from Chtulhu to the London Tube map to Norse mythology to bees." -

lady_deirdre

"Jotunheim, which was located behind a fence made from the giant Ymir's eyebrows. Which makes me think Ymir must have looked something like Frida Kalho." -

corax_onyx

"Jotunnheim...You can spell it with those funny marks, but I don't know how to make them on my keyboard. It only speaks English." -

ginalin

"Jötunheimr. Y'know, with the accent on the o, that sounds like a really tasty beer. " -

lucky_lyon

Correct Answer: Jötunheimr (usu. anglicized to Jotunheim)

5. Who was Superman's biological father?

"I imagine having Superman as a child would get pretty annoying pretty fast. I mean, who wants to play catch with a kid who shoots things out of his eyes? Or can always jump high enough to catch the ball? Oh boy, imagine having Superman as a SIBLING. That would be hell. " -

____absolution

"Sadly, the first answer in my mind was 'a radioactive spider'. My college education is absolutely slaughtering my ability to think." -

twystedfate

"Well it was either Jesus or Batman and I'm going to vote that they were the same person anyway." -

yayworthy

" At this rate, The Goddam Batman is going to be our new Sting. -CV

sifrid,

kokopellinelli

(That's never getting' old. – LL)

"Seeing as how every other answer has had Jo in it, I'm going to say Joe Man. And what do you mean there's no superhero called Joe Man? Damned DC... MARVEL ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!! " -

lucky_lyon
"El Padre? Padre El? Something like that. Sorry, more of a Marvel fan where my superheroes have, you know, personalities. " -

star_bunnies

"God damn it. Any mention of Supes gets that stupid 'Kryptonite' song stuck in my head. Argh, MAKE IT STOP." -

jessicamariek

(Could be worse; I've got "Superman's Song" by the Crash Test Dummies stuck in mine. - TL)

"Oh,

ljdq, I am a nerd, but not that much of a nerd." -

kagomeshuko

"What are you implying? That Superman's mother would lie about who her baby's daddy was? That's pretty messed up. I mean, I went to high school with Superman's mother, and she was kinda a bitch, but she wasn't no lyin' skank." -

angelprojekt
"We'll find out when Maury comes back and opens the envelope!" -

grayjedi

"I want to say Jobriath. Even though I know he was a glam rock singer. But come on! The love of spandex and space imagery! They gotta be related." -

vayshti

"Some say that he can unscramble an egg just by looking at it, and that he is fucking both Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. All we know is: he's called the Stig." -

lady_deirdre

(+1, Top Gear, - TL)

"'It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman.' Thus since Superman is Superman and a Bird is a woman, then his biological father must be a bio engineered plane. Doncha think." -

t_sica

"Marlon Brando, who was paid the largest stud fee in history for for about eight minute's work." - LLEFSER

"Jor-El, but Superman isn't anywhere near as cool as Batman, whose father is Thomas Wayne. But Thomas Wayne was just a philanthropic doctor, whereas Jor-El is an alien, so I guess that makes him cooler." -

frequencyshift

"Jor'El, which stands for "Jor blimey guv'nur, the gravity on this planet is mighty strong an' no mistake, by 'el." They were all Cockneys on Krypton, it was a bloody nightmare trying to get a straight word out of them." -

many_from_one

"He was actually adopted twice. His REAL father was Cid-el." -

fizrep

"Patern-El" -

i_calql8

"The First Jo-El, the angels did sing, on a cold Krypton night..." -

kristinmachina

"Jor-el. Santa Claus' biological father on the other hand was No-el. " -

ntlespino

"Jor-El. Damn immigrants stealing our jobs and our wimmin" -

tarpo

"Zod." -

buzz,

howeird

"Jor-El. Which sounds like some sort of toilet cleaner. 'Limescale? Not a problem with Jor-El! Kills 99% of all known germs! Leaves your toilet sparkling clean!'" -

lins_arosa

"Klor-el... No, that's Stargate again. Uhm, Is it something like Klor'el, or L'oreal or something like that? L'oreal sounds cool. He's called that. " -

dk2022

Correct Answer: Jor-El

"Jor-El, who begat Kal-El, who begat...actually, no, Kal-El hasn't had any kids yet. That whole 'Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex' thing, you know." -

dslartoo

6. Tell us a joke!

"I'm waiting for some 'Yo momma' jokes from that guy who always replies with 'Your mom'." -

demon_666

"Your mom last night." -

1angelette

(How did we only get one? -CV)

"Why? Am I a comedian? Am I here for your amusement? Am I funny? Funny how? " -

grayjedi

(+1, Goodfellas. -CV)

"What did the farmer say when he saw his brown chicken and brown cow taking part in sexual relations? brownchickenbrowncow (said to the tune of bowchickawowwow. you know.) " -

jadedsapphire

(::facepalm:: - LL)

"Two muffins in an oven, one looks at the other and says 'is it hot in here to you?' the other one yells 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!'" -

nhudris_embrace,

undersea,

springfrost

"What did the square root of five say to -2i? 'Who are you calling irrational?' ...what? it made my calculus professor laugh. " -

blacksunrising

(But does it make

i_calql8 laugh? – CV&AL&LL&TL)

"A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'what is this, a joke?'" -

squeegibo

"There are 10 types of people who understand binary: those who do, and those who don't. " -

lins_arosa

"I was going to tell you The Aristocrats. I had it mostly typed out; I was almost to the end, and I decided that even I couldn't do that to you guys. Be thankful I have some shame. " -

stagemanager

"What's Boo Radley's favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird! " -

dither_spaz

"A man is laying in bed with Anne Coulter. After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his penis, something she seems to love to do. Enjoying it, he turns and asks her, "Why do you love doing that?" She replies: "Because I really miss mine." " -

ginalin

"What's the worst thing about being an atheist? Nobody to talk to when you orgasm. " -

tony101

"So there's two fish in a tank, one says to the other you man the guns, I'll drive. Or alternativley i know a long one involving an irishman, an englishman and Claudia Schiffer but its long... " -

meloglas,

dslartoo (kinda),

"A naked lady walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other..HOSHIT! *falls through the ceiling*" -

ifeedformula

(+1, The Breakfast Club – LL&AL&TL)
(Would have been +2 if you had described the ruckus. -CV)

"A C, a G and an E-flat walk into a bar. The bartender says 'sorry, we don't serve minors here.' Dejected, the E-flat leaves and the C and the G have a fifth between them. Some time later, the E-flat returns wearing a hot new pinstripe suit. 'You're looking sharp!' says the bartender, and he pours him a drink. " -

songbird06,

la_trombonista

(Ow, my spleen... -CV)

"The ones with casual violence and punnery are the most timeless: What do you call a Fly with it's wings pulled off? A Walk. " -

vayshti

"This is my mom's favorite joke. So a blond woman is speeding along, and she gets stopped by a cop. The cop is also a blond female. 'Can I see your license, please?' asks the cop. The woman starts digging in her purse, muttering, 'I'm sure I have it, it has to be in here...I know I have it!' The cop tell her, 'It'll be about this big and have your picture on it.' The woman in the car pulls a compact mirror out of her purse and looks at it, then says, 'Ah, this is it!' and hands it to the cop. The cop gazes into the mirror and then hands it back, saying apologetically, 'Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know you were a cop!'" -

kokopellinelli

"What's the differnce between roast beef and pea soup? Well, anyone can roast beef…" -

primavera,

raphsody606

"Why do you never see any dead crows on the side of the road? Cause their friends are always saying 'Car Car'" -

zxwx

"I went to Starbucks the other day and picked up a mug. On it were written things like 'You look great today!', and 'You're obviously really intelligent.' When I asked the clerk how mug the mug cost, they said it was complementary! " -

mattwolf

"What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? JUAN ON JUAN!" -

blackfrances

"What did the 0 say to the 8? 'Nice belt.'" -

frequencyshift

"A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, 'Hey, where did you get that?' and the parrot says, 'France, they've got millions of them there.'" -

corax_onyx

"A guy goes into the doctor. The doctor says 'I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but you have cancer and Alzheimer's'. The man nods slowly and says 'Well, at least I don't have cancer!'" -

13742

"Some years ago, paleontologists found fossils of a dinosaur with its legs facing the wrong direction. To date, this is the first-ever recorded instance of a reptile dysfunction. " -

i_calql8

lovellama's Favorite Answer: "The favorite of my kids at the daycare I work at:
'Why did the chicken cross the road?'
'Refrigerator!'
'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'" - twystedfate

And there you have it. One might think that we followed Jane with Jo, which is logical, but really today is dedicated to

lovellama, who's been a "guest mod" for two years as of today, and her name is Jo, and this quiz is dedicated to her. She's cooler than Johannesburg, hotter than the Jonas Brothers, smarter than Mojo Jojo, crazier than Jotunheim, and more talented than Marlon Brando! Also, she loves a good joke. And a bad one.

Cheers to everyone who played, and everyone who laughed, and everyone who's just here watching and smiling. Keep on playing, and bring your friends too! They're sure to enjoy. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine.

See you all tomorrow, same goddam bat-time, same goddam bat-channel!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL&TL