ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 25 August 2008

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"Yay, Neil Diamond not mentioned!" -

shogunsquirrel

Even we have some taste, after all.

1. In the movie Diamonds Are Forever, what were the names of the two homosexual assassins?

"As a fan of the James Bond books, I call foul on this question." -

packbat

(I thought it was somewhat referenced in the book as well. Although, to be fair, I haven't read that book in maybe 20 years, so my memory is suspect. -CV)

"Ace and Gary, The Ambiguously Gay Duo" -

treerad,

cortie,

caffeineod,

fmh

"Neil and Bob." -

flawed_karma,

dextradawn

"Hans and Franz" -

shogunsquirrel,

marasca

"Hung Lo and Ben Dover" -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

"Jeeves and Wooster" -

jmthane

"Dewey, Killem, Gaylee and Howe? " -

kestrel127

"Rosenkrantz & Gildenstern" -

wiredwizard,

rivetkitten

"Patrick Fitzwilliam and William Fitzpatrick" – Llefser
"Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick" -

ntlespino

"Terrence and Phillip" -

gorghte

"Bill and Ted. " -

lots42

"Siegfried and Roy" -

spiralgirl1,

islandofwords,

drbear,

david_deacon,

etumukutenyak

"Matt Damon and Ben Affleck" -

woap

"Bert and Ernie" -

pfflyernc,

master_flea,

arabwel,

illogicalvulcan,

elvenpiratelady

"I know it's not the right answer, but, damn, I wish it was Bambi and Thumper." -

i_calql8,

blindgeoff

"Mr Croup and Mr Vandemar, of course. After they fell through the door to nowhere, they landed in a James Bond movie." -

nirejseki

(+1, Neverwhere. -CV)

"I really need to go back and watch this movie again. The last time I watched it I was probably in middle school and didn't realize there were homosexual assassins." -

ifeedformula
"There were gay assassins in that movie? I must have seen that movie before I lost my childish innocence and saw double entendres in everything." -

b_hulsmans
"NO WAI. There are so not gay assassins. How did I miss this?" -

domtheknight

'Were they categorised like that, the same way some guy was credited in Jurassic Park as 'Unlucky Bastard'?" -

puredeadthingy

"They were homosexual?? I thought they were just, y'know, odd. Like most Bond villains. Crap, how many Gay Points do I lose for not knowing this?" -

jo_chan

"The only movie I know about diamonds is Blood Diamonds and I know you guys wouldn't confuse Leonardo DeCaprio as being homosexual after seeing that gorgeous hot body as being homosexual... but of course after Titanic EVERYONE had their doubts about that one because really.... What am I doing again? Whoa, that's a run-on sentence and a half. I really shouldn't type out everything I'm thinking anymore." -

jwpandabear

"Can't think of the names, but 'Garrot-Back Mountain' has a nice ring to it." -

canuckdesz

"Pussy Galore and Plenty O'Toole, who coincidentally were married during the filming of On Her Lesbians' Secret Service." -

captainsblog

(Alas for them, Dr. Goodhead never stopped loving the cock. -CV)

"you know, when i saw that, i thought i was the only person who thought Wint and Kidd were gay, so i didn't say anything. but god. why couldn't they be hot gay assassins? bond would've had to stop and think about the logistics of shagging them to turn them to his side. and while he was thinking about it, they could've slipped a scorpion down the back of his shorts or something." -

wellowned

Correct Answer: Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd

2. Who sings the most famous rendition of this song?
He's your guy
When stocks are high,
But beware when they start to descend.
It's then that those louses
Go back to their spouses.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

"Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge" - oodles of you

"The entire cast of Moulin Rouge, and usually anyone watching the movie as well. At the top of their lungs and off tune, in most cases. Except the cast. " -

canuckdesz

"Gordon Sumner" -

mrbankies

(+1, subtle. -CV)

"They wrote a song about Enron?" -

b_hulsmans

"Liberace" -

drbear

(No, the homosexuals were in the previous question. -CV)

"William Hung, or William Shatner. One of those guys." -

thepikey

"remember.. When you give her a diamond.. She will pretty much have to say yes." -

tarpo

"Princess Diana; after all, Elton John made a song about her." -

germankitty

"Got me, but GWAR would be aweesome singing that." -

fizrep

"These days, you'd be well-served to invest in gold and silver, since their prices recently dropped on news that should have made it do exactly the opposite. US investors are fucking morons, but that won't stop me from buying shares of GLD when I can." -

etcet

"Bette Midler and Miss Piggy, the Muppet Show had quite a wonderful selection to offer. Miss Piggy finally decided that Bette was after Kermit though so she decided to have her locked in a box of chocolate covered sardines guarded by vicious pirahna poodles and Klingon birds of Prey. Had it not been for James Kirk making his appearance on the show as well, she'd probably still be in there." - ANONYMOUS

"It was that trollop that fucked JFK. What was her name? oh yeah! Jackie Kennedy." -

angrysunbird

"Carroll O'Channing, who went on to play Archie Bunker for most of the 1970s." -

captainsblog

"I vaguely remember getting banished from the living room when my mom and her friend were watching this film. It's been ten years... I think I've read enough robot porn to go rent it by this point." -

reticent_lass

"That's a completely mercenary song - no wonder Madonna swiped the look for her Material Girl video." -

rikchik

"I can only guess at the huge Marilyn Monroe/Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge debate that's going to spring up, so I'll just say 'T-Bone Burnett'." -

the_zaniak

"Marilyn Monroe, but wouldn't I just kill for a Marilyn Manson cover" -

shogunsquirrel,

spiralgirl1,

majorsamfan,

marasca,

jargon,

arabwel

"Marilyn Monroe, who apparently in Some Like it Hot took over 30 takes to walk into a room, open a bunch of dresser drawers and say, 'Where's the bourbon?' Eventually they put the line inside one of the drawers and she kept opening the wrong one. Then they put it in every drawer, and still couldn't do it. They eventually had to dub the line. Maybe if it was gin she would've remembered." -

killabee886

"Marilyn Monroe was full of lies. I have it under good authority that Mr Wiggly is a girl's best friend." -

woap

"Marilyn Monroe- the Anna Nicole Smith of the 50's and 60's, only slightly more talented." -

la_trombonista

(And equally dead. -CV)

"Marilyn 'The Way My Boobs Bounce Is Worth The Horrible No-Bra Back Pain' Monroe" -

elucreh

"Marilyn Monroe - now with more accidental overdoses!" -

kestrel127

(See? Heath doesn't have the patent on that schtick. -CV)

"Marilyn Monroe in one of her less gin soaked days. She couldn't sing, couldn't dance, but damn she was hot. I'd hit that. Well, when she was alive. I don't have many limits but necro is one of them." -

flawed_karma

Correct Answer: Marilyn Monroe

3. What is the only state in the USA with an operating diamond mine?

"It's mine! Mine! All mine! I'm rich! I'm wealthy! I'm socially secure!" -

thepikey

(+1, Daffy Duck. -CV)

"Ooh, I saw this on the Travel Channel! But, alas, I have mentalpause and can’t remember." -

majorsamfan

"I couldn't think of a good answer to this, so instead I went back to the fantasy in my head where my friends kidnap Kurt Nilsen so he marries me and we have baby hobbit children." -

searchingstars

"They mine a lot of coal in West Virginia, and diamonds are just really old, compact coal, right? So it must be West Virginia." -

marasca

"North Alarkansoradoippi?" -

jwpandabear

"Florida, because weird stuff is always in Florida." -

rikchik

"California! Assuming the slang "mining diamonds" still means sifting though Hollywood's greatest garbage cans to sell bits of sandwiches and tampons of the stars to tourists." -

canuckdesz
"they found digging in Elizabeth Taylor's backyard gave the best yield" -

wiredwizard

"California. They have everything in that state- wine, cows, natural gas, five baseball teams- so it's only natural that they have the only operating diamond mine too." -

la_trombonista

"I'm from California, we don't know all those weird states in the middle! Iowa! Iowa's a state, right? Or Philadelphia? Or Tbilisi?" -

nextian

(Tbilisi's in that OTHER Georgia. You know, the one the Russians just pwned. -CV)

"Alaska has about a third of the US by area, therefore 1/3 of the things in the US are in Alaska. So Alaska is my guess." -

caffeineod

(And once more, logic takes a back seat to accuracy. -CV)

"My brain is going "Colorado", though that may just be because it's vaguely diamond-shaped. (Look at it sideways. It makes sense, dammit.)" -

nochi_san

"It can't be Oklahoma, because if it had all those diamonds, it wouldn't have to panhandle! Am I right? ... I'll show myself out." -

bad_latin

"I was going to say 'New York!!' to make a JAP joke in poor taste, but thought I should rise above my base impulses for once." -

fizrep

(Good taste has been, is still, and will always be missing from this quiz. -CV)

"Is South Africa a state now?" -

spiralgirl1

"Rhode Island - they're so up-tight, they import coal from Pennsylvania for rectal processing at the Cameron Frye Compression Plant." -

etcet

(+1, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. -CV)

"A Kay's Jewelry just opened next door. Once I finish tunneling through the basement wall, there will be a second." - LLEFSER

"Actually, there are two: the states of WUV and MAWWIAGE." -

reticent_lass

(+1, The Princess Bride. -CV)

"As they have diamond mines in Africa... and it's hot in Africa... I'm basing my answer on which state I think might be hottest. So... New Mexico?" -

destiny2909

(As always, logic does not work so well during the quiz. -CV)

"you know what this question is like? this question is like those questions they used to ask in 3rd grade: 'what was the capitol of Indiana?' 'What's Virginia's state bird?'. and now I feel like the kid at the front of the class who doesn't know any of those answers and just pees in their pants because they got too nervous. thanks, LJDQ, for bringing the magic to my life. " -

cold_clarity

"I can imagine how that mine was discovered. 'Hey, Ma! Lookit this durn pretty thang I found!'" -

blunder_buss

"Arkansas. The name is funny all by itself. It's like a pirate named it.'/Where do you live?' 'Arrr, Kansas.' 'Arkansas?' 'No, arrrr Kansas.' KInd of like who's on first, but with a pirate. Pirates rule, ninjas drool!" -

flawed_karma

"I was at the tallest point in Arkansas once, a whole 2,500 ft. Again, Oregon may have just as many hicks, but we have a respectable mountain height." -

killabee886

"I think it must be Arkansas, because I know there are 'dig yer own diamond' places there. The state with the smallest collective IQ has the US's only diamond mine. That doesn't exactly sound encouraging." -

ifeedformula

"Arkansas. The silent 's' is for 'diamonds'." -

i_calql8

"It's in Arkansas, digging up diamonds to power Robohillary's titanium body." -

woap

Correct Answer: Arkansas

4. The dimensions of a baseball diamond were first described by which set of rules?

"Robert's Rules of Order." -

jmthane,

treerad,

david_deacon,

majorsamfan,

marasca

"Probably something idiotic and non-metric like "the length the shadow of that there pole makes when it's tween o'clock"" -

b_hulsmans

"The Golden Ratio" -

spiralgal1

"I misread that as 'operating diamond MIME,' which of course opened up an entirely different train of thought. Can bling be considered truly silent, for example? " -

pfflyernc

"Boring rules, for the boring game of boringball. " -

profsparky

"Emily Post's Guide to Crotch Scratching and Spitting, First Edition." -

flawed_karma

"The Marquis of Quisenberry. Sadly, bare-knuckle fisticuffs have since been decried as churlish, so baseball brawls are basically dogpiles and man-hugs, unless Nolan Ryan is whaling the fuck out of some dude half his age." -

etcet and several others

"The Marquis of Flushing, Queensborough rules. Why this doesn't give the Mets any advantage, I'll never know." -

captainsblog

(Even when they try to break the rules, the Mets can't win. Suckers. -CV)

"Any rule above that is carried out during the course of the game may never be used again in the event that it causes the same result as a previous game. Calvinball games may never be played the same way twice." -

jwpandabear,

jo_chan,

wiredwizard

"That one where you're supposed find x." -

akiyasan

"Isiah Thomas' little black book." -

mrbankies

(What happens at the Garden stays at the Garden. -CV)

"The Magna Carta, right? No? Then what the hell was it good for?" -

bad_latin,

dreamsphoto

(I think that was basketball. -CV)

"Rule no. 1: You don't talk about baseball." -

jessicamariek

(Otherwise, everyone gets bored and falls asleep. -CV)

"'Advanced Bases and Balls' - the original version, 'Bases and Balls' never really achieved commercial success." -

blindgeoff

(Bases and Balls: Third Edition should be a smash, though. -CV)

"CRICKET! Because everything is six degrees of cricket. Tallyho!" -

ifeedformula

"'First thou shalt count to three. Three is the number of thy counting, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four counst thou not, nor counst thou two, excepting that thou then precedest on to three. Five is right out.'" -

elvenpiratelady

"BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS" -

jrho

"Rule 1 - No pooftas! Rule 2 - don't mistreat the abos, at least while anyone's watching. Rule 3 - no pooftas!" -

the_zaniak

(+1, Monty Python. -CV)

"It's the twenty-second commandment: 'Thou shalt create baseball diamonds with such and such dimensions.' The twenty-third is 'if you build it, they will come.'" -

ooyoumasha

"Genesis 6:14, mixed in with God's instructions for constructing the ark. In a nutshell, Noah asked God 'and just how am I supposed to attract two of every kind of animal?' to which God replied 'If you build it, they will come.'" - LLEFSER

"Probably Euclidean. Greek fuckers and their geometry..." -

reticent_lass

"No crying?" -

cortie

(+1, A League Of Their Own. -CV),

rivetkitten,

cmzero

"Hoyle's" -

reliantfc3

"Hammurabi's Code. When one doesn't know sports, take refuge in history." -

nirejseki

"The Mudville rules which stated that if Casey strikes the ball, the home team wins the game. If Casey misses, then he'll be crying for years to come until he finally gets a second chance and actually wins the game yet again." - ANONYMOUS

"Look, I've already been bitched at enough today for being a Phils fan (I sat next to a Mets fan on the bus). I really don't need it rubbed in my face anymore." -

wrestlingdog

"Some guy said, 'HEY. It will be THIS BIG. BECAUSE I SAID SO.'" -

islandofwords

"Common rules say that a baseball diamond shall be from the hubcap to that wierd flat rock. Then from the flat rock to the corner of Jimmys yard. and then 3rd should be that coke bottle we flattened out and threw over there. But mom doesn't want us playing close to the flower bed so we need to bring it back in.. Of course it doesn't matter because you lost the damn ball when you hit it over the roof and it fell into the neighbours yard and she will call your dad if she catches us in there again." -

tarpo

"The Knickerbocker Rules. Which is just funny in itself, if you're twelve." -

nochi_san

"The Knickerbocker rules. Personally, I'm more disturbed by the fact that the mythos of baseball has the first game played on the Elysian Fields in Hoboken. Have they *been* to Hoboken? Elysian Fields, my ass. Drunken engineering frat boys." -

illogicalvulcan

Correct Answer: The Knickerbocker Rules

5. Diamond Jim Brady was the first man in New York City to own what?

"Brady? Is he from that there Brady bunch show on the television thingymajigger? Yeah, all the kids seem to be raving about it. I never paid no attention to that rubbish." -

greenspyders

"How can a person be a diamond? Or is this a sports team? I am confused and cannot answer." -

islandofwords

"I think it's damn scary that I saw 'own' and instantly saw 'pwned'. Curse you, video games, corrupting my spelling." -

blunder_buss

"The first thing that popped into my mind was the Baseball Diamond, but then I realized that the Baseball Diamond is from The Great Muppet Caper and does not actually exist." -

treerad

"Your mom." - 6 of you.

"A Pimpmobile." -

wrestlingdog

(To an extent, yes. -CV)

"The Hope Diamond. As was typical for those that owned the gem, his life was cursed afterwards, and he soon chocked to death eating ten of the first drive-through meals." -

angrysunbird

"A stomach the size of a watermelon, and the ability to consume New Jersey if he chose." -

canuckdesz

(Nobody would eat that. You'd have gas for a month. -CV)

"Mr. Creosote's appetite." -

mrbankies

(Better bring the bucket. -CV)

"Size 50 pants." -

cmzero

"One of those machines that re-starts your heart after a heart attack. He really should have laid of all of that food." -

jwpandabear

"His own slice of the pie!" -

akiyasan

(I think he had more than one slice. -CV)

"A BMI over 100?" -

germankitty

"Those hideous colorful sparkled suits they sing and dance in. Ugh." -

ooyoumasha

"Was Jim one of the Brady cousins? Probably one with braces and an amusing inability to catch a football." -

sskipstress

"The complete Brady Bunch doll set?" -

puredeadthingy

(Even Alice! -CV)

"His own TV show!" -

packbat

"A hotel on all properties in Monopoly!" - ANONYMOUS

"I'll pistol whip the next one of you that says the word Shenanigans" -

tarpo

(+1, Super Troopers. -CV)

"New York City, in much the same way that Ted Rogers owns Toronto and Ted Turner owns Atlanta." -

jargon

"The Brooklyn Bridge, which he thought he owned, and then he tried to have it pawned--that was when he realized he was pwned." -

i_calql8

"Spiderman Underoos" -

wiredwizard

"A fancy car!" -

jechocochan

Correct Answer: An automobile

6. What is your best friend?

"Whiskey. And you, you are my beshtust friend evar *hick* and you! and you too! you, I don't like. mmmmm whiskey." -

b_hulsmans

(Even if you're not channeling the Captain from The Adventures of Tintin, +1 anyway. -CV)

"I'll give you a hint...I'm always very careful to keep packs of AA batteries in the house..." -

elucreh

"Jesus loves me best in Heaven when I die. Diamonds love me now." -

rainofthedead

"If I had a dog.. it would be a dog.. But I don't have a dog so I would have to say that the warm tender love of a woman would be my best friend.. But i've been fighting with my girlfriend lately.. so I don't have that.. So basically its alcohol and the internet.. if I drank.. Oh god i'm so alone." -

tarpo

"Man's Best Friend...
And here we see why Hillary really does have the balls in this family. -CV

" -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

"My wife, of course! (I'd say 'my cat' but the wife might be reading this.)" -

squeegibo

(And what if the cat reads this? O.o – CV&AL&LL)

"For the next two weeks, it's going to be a camelbak full of life-giving H2O with a bottle of SPF 50 in the outer pocket. Burning Man, here I come!" -

thepikey

"Chocolate. Very dark chocolate. And Advil. Sigh." -

shogunsquirrel

"Chocolate or pudding. Chocolate pudding! No, wait! Chocolate pudding pops!" -

marasca

"Cherry Coke Zero in a beer stein. Mmm-hmm. It means me feel lke such a real college student." -

wrestlingdog

(Poser. -CV)

"I call her Vera." -

dreamsphoto

(+1, Firefly. -CV)

"Otters. The world needs more of them. Like dolphins, but less evil." -

angrysunbird

"My mom (

themommage) and a few bottles of wine. Separately or in combination." -

rivetkitten

"The thing that feeds my lifeblood, the glorious, glorious internet. It could die, blank out or even spit up me and I would still love it to pieces." -

raphsody606 and a dozen other intart00bz addicts

"So the other week I was on vacation with my best friend and we ended up going to a club. She ended up stealing the guy I was dancing with, making out with him, and then leaving with him. Thus, leaving me alone in a city that I had only been in for a day. Without enough money for a taxi. Alone and lost and drunk. So to answer your question, it's you. LJDQ, you are my new best friend. " -

jwpandabear

"LJDQ is mah best fwend. I want to hug and squeeze and kiss it and cuddle it and call it George." -

ifeedformula

(I suppose, with the proper amount of loving, we could answer to George. -AL&CV&LL)

"My prediction is that at least 20 people will say LJDQ in an attempt to get quoted. At least four will predict similarly." -

islandofwords

(Only 10 people said

ljdq. Everyone else is a godless heathen. -CV)

"FOOL! I serve only

chaosvizier!" -

david_deacon

(Damn straight:

-CV)

(Who serves me then?!? – LL)

(You can have Milton Berle. -CV)

"Olympics coverage that has age listed as a statistic so that I know I'm not creepy after all for staring at that gymnast/volleyballer. " -

caffeineod

"The poorly-designed office application software that keeps me employed." - LLEFSER

"Juan Valdez. Well, given the coffee I drink, the Indonesian equivalent of Juan Valdez. Some dude on Sumatra named Muhammad, I'd guess." -

illogicalvulcan

"It changes depending on my needs. Right now it's food. By 4am it will be sleep. By tomorrow it will be a Laundy Fairy." -

puredeadthingy

"Perl - I don't always understand it but I love it and we have good times together. (It's not much of a drinker though.) " -

rikchik

"My dog. At least until he passes the diamond ring he ate last night. Then he can go back to being Man's Best Friend. " -

canuckdesz

"Outside a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read." -

fmh, ANONYMOUS,

nirejseki

"Body glide." -

sskipstress

(Mmmmm... smooth. -CV)

"Sarcasm. It's there when I call for it, it never fails me, and even though it sometimes is used against me, I know it will be at my side again soon, ready to support and assist." -

i_calql8

And this concludes our card-themed adventure. As always, good job everyone, thanks for playing, thanks for being there, thanks for all the fish, and of course, keep on trucking. Be here tomorrow for the exciting continuation of the quiz, wherein we tackle such heavy issues like The Olympics, International Conflict, Economic Collapse, Alien Invasions, and Jay Leno's Chin. Or maybe we'll just ask some more wacky questions. Whatever.

Rock on!

AL&CV&LL