ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 11 August 2008

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"I opened my LJ friends page and scrolled to this entry over an hour ago. Due to the first question, my mind wandered, and then I got a visual of boiling bubble gum. So I tried it. I'm now attempting to use olive oil to get melted gum out of a pot before my mother gets home. LJDQ, why do you do these things to me?" -

emeraldbixby

We do it because we care.

"OMG MOST RACIST LJDQ EVER! YOU CAN'T JUST CALL A SPADE A SPADE! YOU HAVE TO CALL A SPADE AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN DIGGING IMPLEMENT!" -

stephe

...ok, apparantly we don't care all that much.

1. Which detective, considered to be the original "hard-boiled gumshoe", is tasked to solve the mystery of The Maltese Falcon?

"Maltese Falcon is the most boring movie ever when you're five years old and just want to watch Lady and the Tramp, but dad got to pick the movie, again." -

nadat

"I watch too much Gargoyles, all I can think of is Matt Bluestone. And I'm not even sure if that was correct according to the show either, I just remember something about the Maltese Falcon in there... fuck you Disney for not releasing the rest of season two! NOW I'LL NEVER FUCKING KNOW. YOU MOUSE BASTARDS." -

shinga

(Tangent! Segue! Whoah nellie! -CV)

"I have never seen this film straight through, since I have a great-uncle who always calls sometime during the middle. He passed away a few years ago, and we haven't tested out watching it since..." -

melayneseahawk

"What the heck is a maltese falcon? It sounds like a cross between some butter-substitute and a kind of candy. Or a sub=breed of poodle. Ick. Buttery-hairy-candy. I think that's one mystery better left unsolved." -

mandabcosplay

"I could know the answer to the worlds hardest question but at the sight of the word Gumshoe it all goes away to humming the Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers theme song. Damn Gadget was hot.. for a cartoon mouse." -

tarpo

"Mr. Spock. He solves the mystery when he threatens to join minds with the bad guys, which scares them into confessing without his having to lift a finger. Henceforth, he was known as the Meld-Tease Vulcan." -

i_calql8

"I believe that expression should be either 'hard-boiled eggshoe' or 'well-chewed gumshoe'. Stop mixing your metaphors, Mickey Spillane!!" -

mark_laura

(Hey, whaddya want? Everyone knows that 90% of this game is half mental. -CV)

"Han Solo. Er, wait, maybe that's the Millenium Falcon." -

undersea,

faery_wing

"Gummo Marx." -

dhole

"Eye Spy, Private Eye." -

ntlespino

"Philip Marlowe?" -

david_deacon

"Rigby Reardon" -

therealchon

"Maxwell Smart" -

treerad

"Inspector Gadget." -

jessicamariek,

la_trombonista

"Slim Shady" -

rachelkachel

(Close... but no cigar. -CV)

"Harry Dresden, Wizard" -

wiredwizard

"I was going to say the Pink Panther, but I remembered that was the bad guy's name. I forgot the 'Don't say si, say oui!' guy's name." -

wendynat

"Sorry, all I can think of is George Frankly and Kate Monday from Square One's Math-Net, solving the Mystery of the Maltese Pigeon." -

shogunsquirrel,

songquake

"Darkwing Duck! (Hey if you're going to be hard boiled you have to be an egg first!)" -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t,

first_seventhe

(Strangely logical. -CV)

"Hercule Poirot. Get it? Egghead, hard-boiled? Never mind--I'll show myself out." -

pfflyernc

"Any gumshoe that wasn't on Carmen Sandiego is dead to me." -

unwritten_dirge

"I'm trying to fit this with the theme, and without knowing the correct answer, all I can think is that David Spade did not play Ace Ventura, Pet Detective." -

rhiannonjk

"You know there's a restaurant in San Francisco that's designated as an historic landmark because Sam Spade at breakfast there in the book. I find that to be... weird." -

kestrel127

(I find many things in San Francisco to be weird. -CV)

"Sam Spade, and he's had so many knock-offs there isn't any of him left" -

lyneidas

"Bogart? No. THIS! IS! MALTAAAAAA!!!!!" -

etcet

"No matter that the name's Sam Spade, admit it- you think it's Humphrey Bogart." -

princessstarr,

islandofwords

Correct Answer: Sam Spade

2. What public service announcement did Bob Barker offer at the end of every episode of "The Price Is Right"?

"Don't take your dogs to China - they might wind up on the menu!" -

jmthane

"Don't try this at home, *EVER! We're what you might call, professionals!" -

wiredwizard

"Go. Buy gin and pudding. Play LJDQ!" -

germankitty

(Alas, the only game show host willing to pimp us out is Pat Sajak. -CV)

"Let the buyer beware" -

packbat

"...And knowing is half the battle" -

wrestlingdog

(It's a little-known fact that Bob Barker's codename was Shipwreck. -CV)

"Remember to tip your waitress. Try the veal!" -

etcet

"Get that dirty dawg neutered so you don't show up in a tube top on an episode of C.O.P.S. screaming to 'lock his ass up'." -

sestree

" Kids, don't fuck with God, or bears will eat you. -CV

" -

songquake,

kittycatness

"Don't touch the models unless you want a harassment suit!" -

drbear

"'Kids, don't buy drugs. Become a rockstar and they give you them for free!'" -

elvenpiratelady

(+1, Love, Acutally. -CV)

"I get paid more than you, SUCKERS. HA." -

shinga

"If a spade in the hand is worth two in the tool shed, a spayed animal is worth a litter in the laundry basket." -

majorsamfan

"Help control the pest population; have your date spayed or neutered." -

mathnerd

" Don't worry, puppy. The 'Red Rocket' trick will still work. -CV

" -

deza

" I <3 MY <3| PET. I 08+ BABY SEALS AND BANG 5 <> HOOKERS. -CV

" -

stephe

"To get loaded on amyl nitrate and bang every female presenter in the Price is Right cast. He may have been 206 years old, but that Barker was a freak." -

david_deacon

"For God's sake, stop watching game shows and do something with your life." -

dhole

"Neuter your little boys, for they might grow up to be creepy old men like Bob Barker." -

rhiannonjk,

lilpocketninja,

faery_wing

"One time a friend of mine was on that show and he won a bed. I think. Also a coworker of mine was a page on the show and said Bob Barker was mean and sexist off-screen." -

domtheknight

(That's ok; ever since "The Running Man", I could never watch Richard Dawson on The Family Feud again. -CV)

"Control the moron population, spay or neuter your idiot neighbors" -

flawed_karma,

jrho

"Have your bitches spayed." *flanked by all of his beauties* "I did!" -

houseofknaus

"Please remember to spay your catgirls." -

woap

"Forget the pet population; it's the human population that needs to be controlled. We can start by neutering Kevin Federline and the creators of Epic Movie." -

la_trombonista

" So long, West Virginia! -CV

" -

ladymalchav

"My favourite was when a fellow was on the show with a shirt that read 'My gator is neutered' I think I squicked myself imagining that procedure." -

raphsody606

(Hey, there's nothing worse than a gator in heat trying to hump your leg. -CV)

"That show is not the same without Pervy Bob and his ogling of the Barker's Beauties. Drew Carey just doesnt cut the mustard. Maybe it's the lack of the fake tan." -

wheatheart

(Drew Carey? Man, there goes another piece of my childhood memories. -CV)

Correct Answer: "Have your pets spayed and neutered."

"I wonder how many unfortunate parents had to awkwardly explain to their kids what spaying and neutering were after watching an episode of The Price is Right with the whole family." -

emptybackpack

3. In the game of Hearts, what is the only non-heart card with a point value?

"LJDQ- forever reminding me that there's more card games out there then Spider or Spider Solitaire. And playing with actual cards." -

princessstarr

"i only play poker. strip poker. while drunk and surrounded by fabulous drunken women." -

kira_snugz

"I'm going to campaign to have sporks added to the traditional suite of cards." -

elvenpiratelady

"The hilarious ex. Hilarious exes can always stick around." -

treerad

"It's gotta be one of the queens rather than a king or a jack, since we all know there's no point to the game of hearts if you're a guy." -

captainsblog

"The Old Maid. Or are deuces still wild?" -

mandabcosplay

"The King of Pain." -

ntlespino

(+1, Sting. -CV)

"Queen Latifah." -

germankitty

"Jennifer Hart in the Conservatory with a really big shovel." -

sestree

"The Joker. If you don't given him points he'll set you on fire. He probably will even if you do, actually." -

angrysunbird

"I was so disappointed when I first learned how to play that game, and found out it didn't involve Nancy Wilson." -

umbralcorax

"The Bitch." - 13 of you

"You know, all my life I thought I was a pretty good hearts player. I only ever played against my family. And then I was on Puzzle Pirates one day and tried to play there, and apparently I suck. It's very depressing." -

rachelkachel

(That's because pirates cheat. They are, after all, pirates. -CV)

"She makes that boinging noise, too, whenever she's played." -

nadat

"The evil evil Queen of Spades. Makes you wonder what she did, eat kittens for breakfast?" -

reliantfc3

"Ah, the dreaded "black lady". Isn't it funny how color words have gone from describing hair color to describing skin color? ...come to think of it, I've never seen a deck of cards with any non-Anglo portraits on the face cards. Dun dun dun!" -

packbat

Correct Answer: Queen of Spades

4. "Stargate" character Daniel Jackson has been played by which two actors?

"What do you mean, actors? The Stargate Program isn't real?" -

emptybackpack,

moreth

"According to Wikipedia it was Engelbert Humperdinck and Angelina Jolie. Or at least it will once I've corrected it." -

angrysunbird

"I'd say have him Ben Dover and get David Spade, but I know the first one isn't right. I'm not sure about the last one." - Davecom3

"Daniel Jackson was never meant to be a character, but James Spader wandered onto the movie set one day and they just didn't have the heart to tell him to leave. Then he was distracted by something shiny so they had to get Michael Shanks in for the series." -

poxy_report

"I have had it with these motherfucking stars in this motherfucking gate!" -

mark_laura

"Dick Sargent and Dick York" -

dhole,

faery_wing,

captainsblog

"Statler and Waldorf" -

etcet

"Betty White and Beatrice Arthur - the magic of makeup is really amazing, isn't it?" -

wendynat

"The Olsen twins." -

pfflyernc

"Daniel Radcliffe and Samuel L. Jackson." -

islandofwords

"William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy" -

treerad

(Stargate: Priceline, defending mankind against evil capitalistic alien overlords. -CV)

"It's sci-fi, so it could have been Mr. T and Richard Simmons with some sort of alternate universe explanation." -

drbear

(I pity the fool that don't drive his 1984 custom GMC van through space. That van is fast, foo! -CV)

"I love Stargate. The movie, not the TV show. It gave a whole generation of geeks hope that they too could get the girl, just like Daniel Jackson did." -

flawed_karma

"Michael Shanks, and That Guy Michael Shanks Copied Really Well (at least in the first season)" -

lyneidas

"James Spader and Michael Shanks, or as I like to call them, Surprisingly Funny and Surprisingly Hot." -

germankitty

"Thank god they picked a cuter guy for the series, I wouldn't have watched 10 seasons if there was an ugly fellow running around all the time." -

b_hulsmans

"Michael Spader and James Shanks. Wait, reverse that." -

rosefox8

(Close enough. -CV)

Correct Answer: James Spader and Michael Shanks

5. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the band:
Playing for the high one, dicing with the devil,
Going with the flow, it's all a game to me,
Seven or Eleven, snake eyes watching you,
Double up or quit, double stake or split...

"I find it amusing that I am currently watching 'Casino Royale' while doing this quiz. It's almost... destiny." -

poxy_report

"These questions feel like they came from a bad CSI plot. The detective determined that it was Bob Barker in the casino with the queen of spades!" -

rhiannonjk

(You mean there are good CSI plots? Besides the one with the furries, of course. -CV)

'Over/Under comments you'll get regarding the commercial with Ronnie's Phone- +/- 10. I'll take the over." -

umbralcorax

(Alas, under. But not by much. -CV)

"Guitar Hero, why have you betrayed me?" -

flipthefrog
"Playing Guitar Hero for the past few hours has made it impossible for me to think about any song that isn't 'Knights of Cydonia'." -

unwritten_dirge

"It's the national anthem of Monaco I think." -

angrysunbird

"Is the correct answer still Sting to all of the lyric questions?" -

islandofwords

(Sure is. -CV)

'Part of the sequel to the Futurama episode where they go to Robot Hell, except this is set in Vegas. And Robot Devil turns out to be Sting." -

elvenpiratelady

"Devil went down to Georgia's Casino." -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

"You know, I only saw 'seven eleven' and got a craving for manapua and pork hash." -

kittycatness

"'Dicing with the devil' makes me think of a cooking show. 'Brimstone Chef Lucifer seems to be having some trouble - he wasn't planning to cook reptiles today, and he neglected to pack a scaler...'" -

packbat

"I don't think I should even think about gambling the way my week has been going. My computer screen is broken and I'm apparently the most unemployable person on the planet. If my dog leaves me I can write the next great country song." -

killabee886

"Culture Club, the other black suit." -

gorghte

"The Oompa-Loopas, Willie Wonka Unplugged" -

ghostrider65

"Sounds like Grateful Dead to me. They did songs about gambling along with the songs about philandering, booze, and ladies." -

lyneidas

"'The Gambler' pretty much exhausts my knowledge of betting songs." -

pfflyernc

" With a name like Spade Cooley, he's totally not wearing the right hat. -CV

" -

astridsdream

"Daddy's Got A Gambling Problem by My Life Story (incidently followed up by the hit songs 'Learning Custody Battles the Hard Way', 'The Cops Took Daddy Away for Good', and 'Physchiatrists Cost too Much'" -

jwpandabear

"Pair o' Dice by the Dashboard Light, Meat Loaf" -

i_calql8

"I'm Too Sexy for Go Fish by Right Said Spades" -

jrho

"Given that it seems to be a song about craps, I'm going to guess the Butthole Surfers." -

dhole

"Ace of Spades, Motorhead. This song came out when I was seven, and my uncles were all redneck thrashers, so I heard it a lot. I can still remember sitting in our trailer (yes, trailer) listening to Youngest Uncle scream the title line, playing air guitar and pissing my mother off while she tried to cook us breakfast." -

soberloki

"They played this on the local metal Oldies station yesterday. I called to protest that it wasn't an oldie and they pointed out it was all of 7 years old and in dog years, it was 49. Yeah, I'm still confused." -

flawed_karma

"Motorhead, Ace of Spades. Also known as Most. Licensed. Song. EVER." -

mujubius

Correct Answer: Motörhead, "Ace of Spades"

6. What do you dig?

"Holes" - 26 of you
"Holes to China" - 9 of you
"Holes for myself." - 3 of you

"And now, of course, I've got a combination of William H. Macy and the Home & Garden aisle of Home Depot engaging in all sorts of painful-looking sexual contortions. Oh, Shoveler, don't put the rotary sprinkler -there-...." -

etcet

"I am not of the street inclination, nor am I 'pop, phat, hip, or fly'. I regret to inform you that due to my emphatic lack of 'gangsta', I do not 'dig' anything, and will be holding this question in contempt until further notice." -

mandabcosplay

"CHICKS, MAN." -

sexyscholar

(YA I NO RITE?!? -CV)

"I don't dig. I draw lines on a sheet of paper, and people go out with bulldozers and dig to make the land match my lines. Such power I posess." -

rhiannonjk

(The power of FEMA compels you! -CV)

"I'm working on my tunnel to China. Just a little bit farther and I can watch the opening ceremonies in person! If only the stupid Tyrannosaurs would stop chasing me..." -

nadat

"I try to dig as little as possible, as I was traumatized as a small child when I cut something that wiggled in half with my shovel." -

lyneidas

"Now, I know the pig is a filthy animal and all, but lately I've really been digging on swine. Mmm, swine." -

squeegibo

(Swine are fine. After all, they are the source of bacon. Tasty, magical bacon. -CV)

"Chocolate, sleep, AA batteries, you know, the usual." -

jrho

"Enormous balloon glasses filled with cabernet (um, at the moment) (ask me tomorrow and I'm liable (libel?) to say "Your mom")" -

mark_laura

"Q'Bert. He doesn't get enough love." -

akiyasan

(It's because of his potty mouth. -CV)

"Shaft." -

kestrel127,

shinga,

tears_of_nienna,

mujubius

(Alas, Isaac Hayes, rest in peace. You were one bad mother... -CV)

"I Grok Spock." -

thalassatx

"It's not what you dig, baby...it's what you pump.
Is it just me, or was this game hentai long before hentai was invented? I mean, a long snakelike object emerges from around Dig-Dug's waist, makes contact with a creature, and then fills it up with something until it explodes. Does anyone else see this? -CV

Is it just me, or was this game hentai long before hentai was invented? I mean, a long snakelike object emerges from around Dig-Dug's waist, makes contact with a creature, and then fills it up with something until it explodes. Does anyone else see this? -CV

" -

i_calql8,

deza

"I dig the chunky bits out of most ice cream. cookie dough, chocolate bits. It's a terribly mean habit." -

shogunsquirrel

"I dig a pony." -

distaff_exile,

rachelkachel,

lilpocketninja,

tess_wolfe

" Best cereal ever, except for that time when Cap'n Crunch released an all-Crunchberry cereal. -CV

" -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t,

tarpo

"I dig the ocean, I dig real dirty things, I dig going fast, I dig Egyptian kings..." -

reliantfc3

(BOOM DE YADA! -CV)

"NBC's online Olympic content. It's pretty slick. You can watch four live sports at once. You know, it's cheesy, but I love the Olympics. I do like me some sports, and there's something uplifting about the hope and togetherness of humanity. For at least a couple of weeks. It gives me hope that eventually we'll stop blowing each other up. I'll go back to being cynical in a few weeks." -

illogicalvulcan

(Why wait weeks? If you'd been chilling in Ossetia, you barely had to wait hours. -CV)

"Today, I had to keep digging my underwear out of my butt. I think I need new underwear. Or a new butt." -

wendynat

And there you have it. We do indeed call a spade a spade, except when we call it spayed. Or Spader. You get the picture. Ya dig?

Thanks to all who played this week, especially the handful of new players who emerged from lurkerdom to give it a shot. New is good! Go out there and seek that LJDQ Gold Medal! Attain the unattainable! Be all that you can be! Reach for the stars! And all that.

Tune in tomorrow, same quiz-time, same quiz-channel.

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL

Current Music: Shaft!

Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

germankitty

Wow.

First I confuse "The Maltese Falcon" and Sam Spade with "The Big Sleep" and Philip Marlowe (I totally blame Bogart and my college seminar on "Novels into Film" for that), then I think I'm being particularly unfunny on account of being in major pain in my lower extremities, yet I still manage to score a hat-trick.

AND first comment of the week, too!

Go me!

(And yeah, I'll ~~try to~~ stop with the run-on sentences from now on ...)

Edited Date: 2008-08-11 01:52 pm (UTC)

From:

chaosvizier.livejournal.com

Errors are good! Errors are funny! Yay errors!

Though named daily, it is weekly. Behold the first mystery.

LJ Daily Answers: 11 August 2008

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