ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 4 August 2008

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

1. According to the Beatles, who "hope you will enjoy the show" as you "sit back and let the evening go"?

(I mistyped "hope" as "hopes"; carry on there. -CV)

"I hope you know I just spent 15 minutes wondering why the hell 'pepper' wasn't working as a theme for the other questions in this quiz. Thanks a lot, LJDQ." -

cold_clarity

(Always glad to oblige! -AL&CV&LL)

"I can honestly say I have never ever listened to a beatles song." -

b_hulsmans

(Now that's impressive. -CV)

"it was certainly NOT triangle man. He's an A-hole." -

lbmango

"The Joker." -

treerad

"Frank-n-Furter" -

wowthatisminty

"Ceiling Cat." -

wowwhony

"every stage performer EVER" -

jenny_1981

"I can't even think about the Beatles, because I have the Emerson, Lake and Palmer thing stuck in my head. 'Welcome to the Show' could be th LJDQ's theme song, except for the lack of pudding and gin. But there's grass, virgins, and vaseline, and what else do you need? Wait, what was the question again?" -

starryeyes203

"Now I have to burn the image of the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton in skin-tight polyester bell bottoms out of my eyes. Thanks for that frightening visual, LJDQ!" -

therealchon

"Not the one who keeps asking Abe Lincoln's wife about the show, is it?" -

divabat

"Lucy. Clearly everything the beatles did was about Lucy. Everybody loves Lucy!" -

moreth

(Incorrect. Charlie Brown did not love Lucy. -CV)

"Those guys did have an ear for rhythm---Lieutenant Oregano's Fulfilled People Club Band just doesn't have the same zing." -

silmaril

"I've been told that if you play that album backwards you hear a pop-culture reference." -

3771

"Dr. Pepper and the eHarmony Rejects Club." -

majorsamfan

"I'm a Pepper, You're a Pepper, Wouldn't ya like to be a Pepper too?" -

marilyth

"Sgt. Pepper. Not to be confused with Col. Mustard." - ANONYMOUS

"Eddie Izzard made the best Mr. Kite ever." -

fax_celestis and a dozen others who watched "Across The Universe"

"When I was younger, I thought Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was The Beatles' other band name. Like Parliament/Funkadelic." -

freezer818

"Sgt Peppers Lonely hearts club band. The one Beatles record my mother would have murdered me for had I scratched it." -

reliantfc3

"Sgt. Pepper (and his Lonely Heart's Club Band (which incidentally enuf, I no longer belong to since I got proposed to this weekend...))" -

jennielf

(Congratulations! Go you! – CV&AL&LL)

"I was taking a class once on the Beatles. The professor had a weird grading system, low, or high. I was taking a test for him one day, and I was breezing through part of it, but another part of it was giving me trouble, until my buddies Drew and Rob let me grab a quick glance at their paper. And this pushed me over to the better grade. So, you could say, I got High with a little help from my friends." -

umbralcorax

"And later, Steve Martin introduces us to Maxwell's Silver Hammer." -

billfl and 6 others

Correct Answer: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

"He got busted down to Private Pepper after that whole incident at the Condiment Club." -

fizrep

2. What class of object includes wedges, putters, and drivers?

"Wii Sports." - 8 of you

"Sounds like a 1950's sitcom father. He's the only one in the house who drives. He putters in the basement, and he drives a wedge between his teenaged Daughter and and any boy she brings home." -

lbmango

"Country Club members. The Wedges enjoy discussing made up statistics about the stock market, the Putters hang around on the edges of the conversation waiting for an opportunity to out-boring one of the Wedges and thereby gain promotion muttering about shortfalls while the lowly Drivers drive them all places. There's a documentary on Discovery about it next week, I swear." -

aesriella

"I have inconveniently become stuck on the mental image of themed feminine personal massagers. The wedge and driver are more or less self-explanatory, if a bit adventurous for the modern dildactic aficionada. The putter, on the other hand, conjures images of a small two-stroke engine with a low cycle rate and modest torque, the sort of bronze age or steam-punk stimulator Ada Byron might find herself designing in her head while waiting for Charles Babbage to cease his frenetic humping." -

etcet

"Are they a particularly lethal sort of shoe?" -

puredeadthingy

"Los Angeles motorists." -

conjurdude

"Mothers-in-law" -

fizrep

"Novelty underwear." - ANONYMOUS

"Aren't those the new marshmallows in Lucky Charms?" -

jo_chan

"Items I have intentionally thrown into lakes" -

southbucki

"Murder weapons classified legally as 'blunt instruments'." -

mandabcosplay,

marasca

"My favourite kind is Volkswagon." -

confusedpuppy

"Hmm, drivers, 'puters, and wedgies...sounds like Computer Science Club to me. At least, after the JV Basketball team gets to 'em." -

schizospider

"People behind the wheel of a car. Wedges try to squeeze into your lane when the highway's already backed up, just bogging down both lanes even further. Putters are the knobs who drive precisely the limit, in the passing lane, on an uncrowded highway. Drivers are the people who seek to keep up with traffic, get where they're going and generally act like courteous human beings. I'm not sure what the woods and the irons would be, though." -

jargon,

tweeti

"I'm going to guess golfclub though it could also be something kinky. In fact I'm sort of hoping it's something kinky. *pause* I need to get laid." -

shinga

"Dear God, I feel like a yuppie just for knowing the answer to this question." -

melayneseahawk

"It sucks living on a golf course I tell ya, just sucks. Seriously. I have had at least one shattered window (ON my CAR!), however the nice big lawn that I do not have to take care of, rocks." -

jennielf

"Whack F*ck Sticks. Because first you wack the ball, then you yell "F*ck". Tis true. Whack F*ck is what my friends and I call it. I'm trying to make this reply family friendly." -

uncut_diamond

"a) Cut the chatter, Red Two. -CV

, b)

A putter is in no way related to a tit or a boobie. -CV

, and c)

Stuart Little, how far you have fallen, selling yourself on icanhascheezburger... -CV

." -

germankitty

"being that all I know about golf I learned watching Caddyshack AND Caddyshack 2, I'm gonna say that golf clubs are pretty classless." -

houseofknaus

"Those things are divoted to trapping things in as an ace flies a birdie like an eagle over in a parfectly fairway, be it rough or protected by one bogey man or another, but one can say they're fore flagging down balls into a hole, and they're golf clubs." - ANONYMOUS

"you have to love the Scots. Only they would name golf clubs things like mashies, brassies, cleefs, and niblicks. All of which sound vaguely pervy, now that I think about it." -

pfflyernc and 3 others

"Mmmmm...open-faced club sand wedge." -

i_calql8,

buzz

"I've always been able to throw the club farther than I could hit the ball. It made the Lifetime Sports unit in P.E. fun." -

hopefulnebula

"class golfClub {
private double length;
private double weight;
private String type;

public golfClub(double thisLength, double thisWeight, String thisType) {
length = thisLength;
weight = thisWeight;
type = thisType;
}

}

Well, you asked for an object class." -

damanique

(And you're asking for a Geek Of The Week Award. Class: -1. -CV)

Correct Answer: Golf clubs

3. Name the character and the film:
"My prediction for this fight? Pain."

(This was not supposed to be a trick question; nonetheless, more people answered "Fight Club" for this one than for the next question, where "Fight Club" actually was the answer. Go figure. -CV)

"To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.... The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right...Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, 'Dear God! What is that thing?' will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means." -

shel99 and 4 others

"Flight of the Navigator; BIlly" -

yep_i_am_dennis
"Pokey the pony in: Gumby Learns to Fly" -

poxy_report
"The Kiwi bird" -

mandabcosplay

(Fight, not flight. -CV)

"ROCKY! BULLWINKLE! DR. SCOTT!" -

deza

(No, no, and hell no. -CV)

"Rainbow Care Bear, The Care Bears Take Vegas." -

finn2
"The Care Bears vs. the Care Bear Cousins: Ultimate Smackdown" -

jrho

"I thought that was on TV. The fight in the pool between Krystal and Alexis." -

tweeti

(+1, Dynasty. -CV)

"Captain cave-man? I'm thinking the theme is 'club' and he naturally comes to mind." -

lbmango

"Any bad guy pro wrestler during promos for any WWF/WCW/WWE PPV." -

germankitty

"For some reason I can totally see that being a painkiller commercial. Like, it starts out with some buff wrestler guy yelling "My prediction for this fight? Pain!" and then cuts to some guy telling you about how (brand X) is better than all its competitors. And one entire minute is just them listing the side effects." -

wowwhony

"Sounds like something Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer would say" -

pfflyernc
"That sounds like something Arnold 'The Governator' Schwarzenegger would say." -

spiralgirl1

"The Terminator, to Rocky Balboa in Rocky 2029 – The Senior Celebrity Deathmatch Club" -

majorsamfan
"Pinhead, in 'Hellraiser XXV: Cenobites in the Senior Shopper Club'" -

jo_chan

"That would be a deleted scene from Star Wars episode IV. It was Han Solo commenting on a Jawa's chances at beating Chewbacca in a fight." -

umbralcorax

"It was Raul Julia's character in Street Fighter. M. Bison, right? The drug guy?" -

houseofknaus

"David from 'David and Goliath'" -

moreth

"Professor Trelawney, Harry Potter XXVIII: The Sequel Of Doom" -

wiredwizard

"Clubbette Lang, Joy-Luck Fight Club" -

ghostrider65

"I pity the fool that doesn't know this answer!" -

buzz,

prettylily

(There are a great many fools here to be pitied. -CV)

" Sucka, you gonna fly helluva far! -CV

" -

atari_808

" I don't hate Balboa. I bury the fool. -CV

" -

i_calql8

Correct Answer: Clubber Lang, "Rocky III"

4. What was Chuck Palahniuk's first published novel?

Number of people who can't talk about this question: 10
Number of people who thought they couldn't talk about the previous question: 18
Number of people who just plain shouldn't talk: You know who you are.

(Unlike the

ljdq where the first rule is: You Talk About LJDQ. – CV&AL&LL)

"oh the wedgies that poor fellow must have had with a name like that." -

b_hulsmans

"I'm surprised he sold anything; how can you go into your local B&N and ask for a book by a guy with a last name that Phonix abandons you on?" -

mathnerd

"I wanna read a Chuck Norris novel about predicting fights with pain." -

rhiannonjk

"people who really should have taken a pseudonym" -

nochi_san

"How to Spell My Last Name" -

fax_celestis

"Why I never play the Name Game." -

drbear

"How to Up: Chuck Palahniuk." -

umbralcorax

"How much wood can Chuck Palahniuk chuck if Chuck Palahniuk can chuck wood?" -

kristinmachina

"Out of the Pink; or, 101 Ways to Blackmail Your Way Out of the Rejection Pile" -

katiebgood

"Why Johnny doesn't know how to read." -

akiyasan

"Babysitter's Club. What? It fits the theme. Plus, you KNOW you'd read a Chuck Palahniuk Babysitter's Club. Admit it. It'd be nothing short of awesome." -

shinga

"'Fluff the Bunny Goes to the Bronx Zoo'. Not many people know he started out as a children's author. Things got a little messy when Fluff wandered into the predator exhibit though." - ANONYMOUS

"Fight Club needs to come with a warning. Not for the violence, but for the fact that both Brad Pitt and Ed Norton are in it. 'May not be safe for ovaries. Extra underwear is advised.'" -

kristinmachina

"Soap Long, and Thanks For All the Fat." -

schizospider
"Soap is made of people!!!" -

fizrep

"Dude, Where's My Teeth?" -

etcet

"My First Fight Club: A Child's Tale ('You are not your Underoos!')" -

jo_chan

"Not many people know that when his first book, Happy Folk, didn't sell, he channelled all of his frustration into 'Fight Club'." -

puredeadthingy

Correct Answer: Fight Club

(And yes, he did WRITE other books before Fight Club, but Fight Club was PUBLISHED first, as the question asks. -CV)

5. In Marvel Comics, Sebastian Shaw was the head of which establishment?

"Clandestine Lovers of Underaged Boys?" -

blindgeoff

(I see what you did there. Besides, you meant NAMBLA. -CV)

"I want to say Josie and the Pussycats, but that Sebastian is a cat and that's Harvey Comics anyway." -

jmthane

"Dr. Horrible's Club For Startlingly Evil Yet Strangely Charming Real Names." -

puredeadthingy

"Club Dead." -

jennielf

"SMERSH" -

speckled_llama

(+1, James Bond. -CV)

"Was there a Club Dredd?" -

shogunsquirrel

"The Super Best Friends" -

jo_chan

(+1, South Park. -CV)

"The Hare Club for Men." -

spiralgirl1,

ghostrider65

(To be fair, Shaw did have some funky-ass hair. -CV)

"I'm not sure, but I can tell he's evil. No GOOD characters would ever associate themselves with an 'establishment'." -

jwpandabear

"Wasn't this the Dorian Gray-esque character who killed anything that moved and then fucked it after? Or was that the other way around?" -

ntlespino

(...I must have missed those comics. -CV)

"Sorry, I see Sebastian and all I can think of is crabs. So, either Red Lobster or Planned Parenthood. " -

wowwhony

"I'm not a comic-reader, but based on the theme this week...'The Seal Club'?" -

the_zaniak

"Costume-o-Rama: recently acquired superpowers, but lack the fitting fabulous fantastic fashion to go with your smashing super self? Come to Costume-o-Rama for the most colorful, gayest spandex you'll ever see! Guaranteed to protect your anonimity whilst impressing everyone with the size of your package!
For those less endowed superheroes Costume-o-Rama provides extra padding and cups up to 20 inches!" -

damanique

"Not knowing which is DC and which is Marvel I can't even guess. It's obviously not the X-Men unless Xavier had a pseudonym. And I don't know if the JLA had a head or if it was a committee. " -

avron

(The JLA were an anarco-sydicalist commune. They took it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week but all the decisions of that officer had to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting… - LL)

"Wait, there were men in the Hellfire Club? I only noticed Jean Grey and Emma Frost in corsets. The rest is a bit of a blur." -

i_calql8

"The women running (and even staffing) the Hellfire Club did all sorts of powerful things to my libido as an adolescent. X-men, I blame all my perviness on YOU." -

thepikey

"My first reaction to Emma Frost being in the Hellfire Club was 'Wouldn't she melt?'" -

nochi_san

"The Hellfire Breakfast Club, where mutant delinquents passed Saturday detention by lobbing plasma and psychic blasts at each other." -

therealchon

"The Hellfire Club; which Chris Claremont just should have named 'Sex Freaks With Superpowers'. Ah, the X-Men. Built on the great storylines of an S&M afficianado. I can't count how many stories of his involved tight leather, ropes, violence and telepathic domination. Hell, every other issue they were all buck-ass naked. And still, ten times better then pretty much anything else ever Marvel ever put out. " -

lots42

"The Hellfire Club. I kind of wish I had Shaw's powers, but then I'd only be super-strong after banging my elbow or stubbing my toe. Which would be often, so I guess it would work out..." -

hopefulnebula

"Shaw's hairstyle was so weird. I wonder if he was banging Emma Frost off-panel?" -

rosefox8

"The Hellfire Club. Best. Dressed. Supervillains. Ever. For the record, I do include Emma Frost in this. Come on, Victorian support garments and spectacles? If I could rock that look, I totally would. All the time." -

schizospider

"Hellfire Club. Which, sadly, is also an S&M club formerly of Manhattan, now in Brooklyn. And on Wednesdays it's the Manhole, for gay guys. I miss living in NYC." -

flawed_karma

"Due to increasing concern about global warming, the 'Hellfire Club' was rebooted in X-Men #576 to the new name of 'Slightly Tepid But Still Ardent Supporters of the Kyoto Protocol.'" -

captainsblog

Correct Answer: The Hellfire Club

6. If you could hit any one person/thing without repercussion, who/what would it be?

"Number of references to politicians in submitted answers: at least 40
To George W and/or Cheney specifically: 25
Number of "hit that" jokes: at least 20
I would actually like to smack around: the entire new X-Files movie." -

shogunsquirrel

(Pretty close, overall. -CV)

(Although originally this was intended to mean "strike with intent to harm", we'll accept "engage in sexual intercourse" as a legitimate definition. -AL&CV&LL)

"Violence is not the answer, LJDQ." -

labellementeuse

(True. According to about 50% of our quizlings, sex is the answer. -CV)

"2 of clubs...hit me. 6 of clubs...hit me. 7 of clubs...hit me. Queen of Clubs...aw, shit!" -

kristinmachina

"The lottery or the jackpot without tax repercussions!" -

majorsamfan,

wowwhony

"

" -

fax_celestis

"Your dad. I hit *that* last night!
(I'd say your mom, but I'm a girl and straight... there aren't enough Your Dad jokes anyway!)" -

dreamsphoto

(That's fair enough. +1 for going into bold new directions. -CV)

"Gillian Anderson!!" -

blindgeoff

"George Clooney." -

aesriella

"Jessica Alba" -

the_zaniak

"Joe Flanigan." -

emptybackpack

"Angelina Jolie." -

drbear

"Neil Patrick Harris." -

jo_chan

"Johnny Depp." -

laughingacademy

"Robert Downey Jr. Mmm...Tony Stark hard like iron." -

mandabcosplay

"Nathan Fillion." -

distaff_exile

"Mary Louise Parker." -

thepikey

"There are these two cute twins at the end of the street that I would like to hit, but since that would be two instead of one, maybe I'll hit one and tap the other if you know what I mean." -

gorghte

"Scarlett Johansson. I'd hit her like the fist of an angry god." -

buzz

"Dude, there would have to be repercussions, or how would the bastard know I hit them?" -

puredeadthingy

"Wow, this sounds so wonderful, I can lose myself in the fantasy.... I guess I'd have to go with any abuser of animals. Although I'd really like to pop Michael Moore one. And Paris Hilton. oooh ooh! And that crazy mom in Florida who didn't report her 2 year old missing for five weeks!! How many people do I get to hit again?" -

thalassatx

"Anvil!! Just like the old Chuck Jones cartoons" -

marilyth

"the Pope. Yeah, bitch-slap the Pope." -

schizospider

"Chuck Norris, so I could say I did it and lived." -

cold_clarity,

jenny_1981

"A jellyfish. Without the sting it would be like hitting a squishy water balloon!" -

jechocochan

"Myself in the future, because then I'd be all like 'Oh man, I totally knew that was going to happen!' And my second choice would be myself in the past, so that the younger me would be thinking 'Oh man, I can't wait to get that fucker back!'" -

poxy_report

"Stephanie Meyer. Maybe just break her fingers so she can never write again." -

shinga

"Geert Wilders, the Dutch IRL troll politician. Every time I see him I get the urge to bitchslap the man. If it's possible, I'd also like to shave off that idiotic hair of his." -

damanique

"That stupid Wii Fit my fiance got. It is just SO smug and self righteous and it calls me obese!! grrr." -

jennielf

"It would have to be either the person who invented bras or the person who invented shoes. Both of which I consider to be torture devices that should be banned by the Geneva Convention." -

tweeti

"Helen Keller...she knows she has it coming." -

killabee886

(That's just plain mean. +1. -CV)

"You guys. I'd so hit it." -

uncut_diamond,

prettylily,

germankitty

(We're sincerely hoping you meant the physical violence category. Somehow, that makes it better. -AL&CV)

(Not me! Awwww! ::blushes:: -LL)

"A panda. Why? Because." -

mathnerd

(Again, we hope you meant physical violence here. Then again, to each their own... -CV)

"I'm going to avoid the obvious political response here, and just say, as an Eagles fan, I'd hit Terrell Owens." -

umbralcorax

"The kid on the bus next to me who keeps singing the wheels on the bus song. Granted he's 3, but still. STFU, kid! IT'S NOT CUTE for the 93 minutes it takes to get crosstown during rush hour!" -

flawed_karma

"The girl I work with who has an astounding inability to learn how to do...everything." -

treerad

"One of my 'managers' at work. She wears hoochie shorts and has six facial piercings, and bitches non-stop about my leg tattoo that she has seen once. She's just jealous because I'm a redhead, I'm sure." -

starryeyes203

"Ann Coulter for thinking that teaching kids a lot about recycling is one step towards Nazism. No, really, Ann said that." -

lots42

"alicia keys, so she'd stop releasing god-awful-whiney crap she calls music." -

sometimespez

"The Burger King. Cause the commercials score a 10 on the creepy scale." -

therealchon

"My lawyer has advised me not to answer this question." -

packbat

And there you have it-

ljdq fun on a sealclubblingly good scale! In honor of this week's theme, you have permission to club one (1) seal. Offer only good for the next 60 minutes. Children, get your parents' permission before clubbing. We strongly recommend not clubbing Navy SEALS.

Thanks for playing, everyone; hope you enjoyed the show, and we're looking forward to seeing you all tomorrow for more quizly goodness! Feel the love! Taste the rainbow!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL