ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 16/19 June 2008

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

Today's theme is mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethah today. I am thoroughly surprised that not a single person used this joke. Carry on.

1. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the artist:
Hey little sister what have you done?
Hey little sister who's the only one?
Hey little sister who's your superman?
Hey little sister who's the one you want?
Hey little sister shot gun!

"Apparently it's some sort of tradition around here to say Sting to these things, but that's far too strange-in-that-certain-way to be Sting, so... who's the Japanese Sting?" -

revieloutionne

(I think they call him Stingu. -CV)

"Wow. And I thought Lolita by Sting creeped me out." -

ntlespino

"What kind of a rhyme scheme is AABCA? That's not even an acceptable way to fill out a multiple-choice exam, let alone rhyming a song." -

schizospider

"I just imagined myself with a little sister. That means it would be ME that would do all the teasing. ME that would use my superior size for my own evil wretched purposes. ME that would be allowed to sit at the grown-ups table first! AHAHAHAHA I AM DRUNK ON MY OWN IMAGINARY POWER." -

blunder_buss

(Go to Walmart and purchase a sibling. The novelty wears off pretty quickly. -CV)

"I have issues with men singing love songs about their little sister. I assume it's a love song, the line about the shot gun confuses me. But hey, with those rednecks, who knows." -

b_hulsmans

"if I ever have any wedding, it'll be in jeans and involve trampolines. Seriously, wouldn't a trampoline wedding be awesome?" -

soberloki

(Surely nothing could go wrong with that... -CV)

"Would it be cheating if I picked one of these answers, or merely plagiarism?" -

germankitty,

woap,

iamza,

illogicalvulcan

(Curse our excessive predictability. -AL&CV)

"The Bride's theme from Kill Bill." -

jo_chan

"Nobody talks to Billy Idol that way!" - 11 of you, quoting The Wedding Singer

"Billy Idol, "White Wedding." Look, this is the second time in three weeks that I've known the answer to an

ljdq 'name that tune' question and has thus absolutely cemented my belief that I am, indeed, old. As such, I've decided to stop referring to myself as 'unemployed' and start referring to myself as being in a state of 'unexpected retirement.'" -

agirlwithavoice

"Billy Idol, you really shouldn't try to keep your same style nearly 20 years later. Look at Axl Rose! Ack!" -

akiyasan

"I always confuse Billy Joel with Billy Idol. The way I keept hings straight in my head is to always keep in mind that one is extremely talented, and the other did 'White Wedding.'" -

rhiannonjk,

seldear

Correct Answer: Billy Idol, "White Wedding"

2. Who was the author of the book "Forrest Gump"?

"Me guessing about books I've never read isn't good. I used to think The Great Gatsby was about a train." -

puredeadthingy

"They did a book about the Movie?" -

writersblock_va,

droptheleash622,

etcet,

cmseward,

dreamsphoto,

gorghte,

elvenpiratelady,

freezer818
"I officially lose literacy points for thinking it was an original movie. Damn, I'm down to, like, 3 literacy points." -

schizospider
"It was Forrest Gump, but they cut the scene where he wrote the book out of the movie" -

drbear

"Someone who is either very rich now, or very dead. And maybe rolling over in their grave." -

shadowsburn

"Isn't saying something witty about the stupid discriminatory?" -

ntlespino

(Not if they don't realize it. -CV)

"Troy Mcclure." -

lookatmesparkle

(You might also recognize him from such films as Forrest Gump 2: Forrest Gumpaloo and Forrest Gump 3: Gump Harder. -CV)

"Wilson the Volleyball" -

starryeyes203

"Thicket Gulch." -

nadat

"Tom Hanks built a time machine, wrote the book under a pseudonym simply so he could later star in the film and win an Oscar." -

whomajigi

(Is there nothing he cannot do? -CV)

"Forrest Gump. Luckiest. Moron. Ever. Aside from perhaps Jessica Simpson. and Paris Hilton." -

i_calql8

"Salman Rushdie, who received death threats from the National Persons with Disabilities Militia and had a bounty placed on his head by Andrea Dworkin." -

adalger

"Gump is a fun word to say. Gump gump gump. Plus, when repeated enough, it sounds vaguely dirty, which is always a plus." -

speckled_llama

"Winston 'Life is laik a bocks of chocklits' Groom. I know this because I own a paperback copy of this book. I read it and I had never laughed so hard in my life. I laughed until tears were rolling down my face and I was convulsing like an epileptic dolphin." -

ifeedformula

"His name is Winston Groom, but you can call him Winston Groom." -

woap

"Bubba Gump, of course. The book was printed on veeeeery thin sheets of shrimp." -

fax_celestis

Correct Answer: Winston Groom

3. What opera, composed by Mozart, was based on the play "La folle journée" by Pierre Beaumarchais?

"Testosterone Error; unrecoverable failure parsing 'Opera' with French subroutine." -

etcet

"I can tell you who sang 'White Wedding' but I can't tell you a thing about Mozart. As you can see, that music appreciation course I took in college helped me greatly." -

agirlwithavoice

"I don't know much about opera. Or about Opera either, though it used to be my favorite browser." -

rikchik

"I'm sorry, I left my culture in my other jacket." -

opium_lips

"Yo no hable El Frencho. Tu Hablas American?" -

naraht

"Large Woman In Bad Dress Shatters Eardrums With Foreign Screeching." -

reticent_lass

(That must have been the other one. -CV)

"French Words Are Pronounced Weird in F Minor" -

woap

"Opera scares me. So I'm going to go with Grease." -

allie_the_neko

"An Inconvenient Truth, the Opera" -

illogicalvulcan

"Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong." -

ceemonster

"Pierre means rock, and Beaumarchais means good walking. So, Mozart wrote the less well-known rock cover of These Boots were made for Walking." -

speckled_llama

"'The Fool & Jolie' about that guy who dated Angelina Jolie and dumped her in High School for the Cheerleader chick?" -

writersblock_va

"From my recollection of the movie 'Amadeus', I'm going to guess 'The Marriage of Figaro.' This would make it an opera in German by an Austrian composer based on a French play about an Italian tailor. Gee, it's World War II: The Musical." -

adalger

"NO FUNNY POSSIBLE. NEXT QUESTION." -

lots42

"That one where Bugs Bunny sings the aria, but not before he has a go at Elmer." -

soberloki

"The Marriage of Figaro. Was that part of 'What's Opera, Doc?' or was that all Wagner?" -

theninth

(That was all Wagner. -CV)

Correct Answer: The Marriage of Figaro (Le nozze di Figaro)

4. What popular country singer has sometimes been called "the Celine Dion of Country Music"?

"That's like being called the 'Brittany Spears of Folk Music' or the 'Vanilla Ice of Continental Jazz'." -

blunder_buss
"Thats kind of like being the Ron Jeremy of Porn.. Great, you are known.. but Damn! you are French Canadian.. or Ron Jeremy." -

tarpo

"This question cannot be answered, because it uses 'country singer' and 'popular' in the same sentence, which is clearly impossible." -

adalger,

lbmango

"There are Canadian country singers? Well, my moose done gone and lef' me, so I'm a-gonna sit on my porch and drink my maple syrup?" -

speckled_llama

"Oh God, theres more than One of them? Its like the Aural Version of the Andromeda Strain! (the old one, not the new time-travel one. I mean, seriously.)" -

writersblock_va

"Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel." -

elvenpiratelady

"I thought Celine Dion was country music. That specific song was played during the Titanic and country music does involve dogs and dying and ice burgs. Well, maybe not so the ice burgs." -

akiyasan

"Has this singer sued the media for slander? I don't think even Celine Dion likes being compared with Celine Dion." -

theninth,

ntlespino
"I don't know who should be more insulted..." -

wrestlingdog

"Celine Dion? Isn't Celine Dion the Celine Dion of all music?" -

droptheleash622

"(Checks obituaries for self-inflicted gunshot wounds among country singers)" -

etcet

"It's not Carrie Underwood is it? Because she sucks like a damned Hoover. She can't sing her way out of a barrel. Now Dolly Parton, THAT'S a country singer man." -

ifeedformula

"Wow, that's harsh-- which means it's totally Shania Twain." -

twbubbles

"Saloon Dion." -

i_calql8

"Reba McIntyre. Yes, I totally lost the thread." -

thalassatx

"Johnny Cash, who then went on to prove everybody wrong when his heart did, in fact, stop going on." -

3771

"Martina Navratilova -- I'll bet you didn't know 'Navratilova' translated into 'Bride'." -

etumukutenyak

(I did not. Guess I'd better bone up on my McRussian. -CV)

"Martina McBride. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I fucking know this! Ewwww!!!! Now if you'll excuse, I need to go turn up the Ella Fitzgerald, drink whiskey, and shower until I forget this EVER HAPPENED!!!!" -

illogicalvulcan

"If you have a cold, Martina McBride sounds like Bartina Bic Bride" -

fictionalsolace

"Did Martina have to get married under golden arches to become a McBride?" -

majorsamfan

Correct Answer: Martina McBride

"Martina McBride is NOT the Celine Dion of country music, because she doesn't have the same terrifying gooseneck thing going on. Though the noises... yeah, I take it back." -

soberloki

5. Name that movie!
"I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow."

"I have learned something even more effective for breaking the funny than knowing the answer - having the answer be right on the tip of your tongue. All the attention that normally would be going into crafting brilliant wit? Instead is going behind the couch, turning over cushions, and saying, 'I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THE ANSWER IS, JUST GIVE ME A SECOND TO FIND IT, OKAY?' Ghaaaaaaa..." -

etcet

(Your frustration tastes like sweet sweet candy. -CV)

"If the rest of the script is like that, I suppose you might want to name that movie Insults Totally Never Age." -

revieloutionne

"I should know this. It sounds like something Eddie Izzard would say, but I don't think it's him. Hm. Mrs. Doubtfire?" -

fax_celestis

(No, that was the drive-by fruiting. -CV)

"Since I don't know the answer, I'm just going to mention that I'm going to be a bridesmaid twice this summer, and I am so desperately single. Fortunately, I'm not butter. And I don't hate you for reminding me." -

illogicalvulcan

(I Can't Believe You're Not Butter! -CV)

"I don't watch movies that refer to commies, that's because I love America too much!" -

killabee886

"The Coneheads?" -

lookatmesparkle,

treerad

(Nah, that's more like Saturn V. -CV)

"Le Nozze del Charlie Brown" -

blindgeoff

"Every time I hear the word Sputnik, I'm reminded of the old recipe for what used to be called a 'Satellite Cocktail': Fill a glass half with gin, half with tonic water. Drink half of it, refill with gin only. Repeat until you can clearly hear the 'Beep, beep, beep!' signal from Outer Space." -

germankitty

(Well, I've got my evening planned out now... -CV)

"Yeah, Darth Maul is really going to cry himself to sleep. Or gut that guy with his neato dual-lightsaber and his powers of the darkside. Dissing horned people = bad idea." -

blunder_buss

"'How to Extend Your Similes and Still Manage to Increase the Humour', Blackadder Productions, MCMLXXXVI" -

3771

"SpaceGhost goes to Football Camp" -

writersblock_va

"Head like sputnik? reminds me of Stewie Griffin. Side note: I just spent the entire work day reading up on Family Guy episodes recaps at work. God I love working for the government." -

b_hulsmans

"So I Married an Axe Murderer. AKA: The peak of Mike Meyers' career. Shoulda stopped there, Sparky. Shoulda stopped there." -

theninth

(Oh, hells yeah. :( - LL)

"One of the Rare Movies in which Mike Meyers Does NOT Overact or Chew the Scenery and Consequently is Funny" -

etumukutenyak

(MMDNV – LL)

"One day I innocently wandered into Austin Powers thinking it would be like So I Married an Ax Murderer, all innocent and fluffy... I mourned Mike Myers that evening." -

rhiannonjk

(And here I thought I was the only person who didn't like the Austin Powers movies... -CV)

"So I Married An Axe Murderer actually convinced my brother that trying haggis was a good idea." -

shadowsburn

Correct Answer: "So I Married An Axe Murderer"

6. Do bloggers and other purveyors of the internet deserve to get married? I SAY NAY!_{in a totally joking manner} What do you think?

"Ahahahaha! CV is acting like people on the internet actually exist. They're just words on the screen, silly!" -

blunder_buss

"... WHU? Are the mods getting married? OMG." -

ntlespino

(BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA no. -AL&CV&LL)

"I SAY THEE NAY!" -

asrimal
"You say nay, I say Ni!" -

ceemonster,

fictionalsolace

"Wait. Are you asking if people who use livejournal don't count as real people with real rights?" -

whomajigi

(Considering SUP's recent business policies, I think it's a fair question. -CV)

"I was on the Ricki Lake show in early 1997 because my then-girlfriend and I had done the unthinkable - we'd met on the internet." -

etcet

"marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries." -

i_calql8

(+1, Wayne's World. -CV)

"I think we should abolish marriage altogether. Damn happy couples destroying the world." -

rhiannonjk

"Been engaged 3x, cheated on & dumped 3x. To be honest, I don't give a damn either way, just leave me the Cthulhu out of it." -

wiredwizard

(But if you reach four, you win the washer/dryer combo! -CV)

"They need to get a special permit for game hunting first." -

shadowsburn

"Bloggers, yes, people who partake in pre-packaged theme weddings in Vegas, no." -

ririkit

(Come on. Who doesn't want a skydiving Elvis wedding? -CV)

"It's not really a matter of whether they deserve to, now is it? I mean, even if they don't deserve it, they'll want it, so we might as well let them lead themselves into destruction if it means they won't go whine on their livejournals about it." -

revieloutionne

"If someone wants to blog a purveyor of the internet they should be free to marry if they want. Its no business of mine where you stick your blog.. even itf its in someones series of tubes." -

tarpo

"No! marriage is sacred, it is a union between man and woman, letting these...these... internet people getting married will take away the sanctity of the marriage. Next thing you know people will marry their pets!" -

b_hulsmans

"OK. But none of this I've-never-met-you-F2F silliness. Seriously, this is how my brother conducts his relationships, and not one of them has worked out past the initial exchange of real photos. I TOLD him using the bodybuilder's torso shot for his chat avatar wasn't going to help in the long run." -

soberloki

"LJDQuizlings who marry are happy (and get more answers per family!) And when they breed, they pass the quiz genes to their children!" -

drbear

"I can't think of anything

sexyscholar might've done to deserve me, she's good people. " -

fmh

"I say yes, but I am from Massachusetts. " -

schizospider

"Marriage is fine; breeding is where the problems lie. Except Neil Gaiman blogs and his younger daughter's occasional guest posts are pretty awesome, so maybe that's not quite right, either. " -

twbubbles

"Only virtual marriages. Then again, I forgot to feed my virtual pet (Jack the Rabbit) after about a week, so I'd probably forget I was married - like some men conveniently seem to do. " -

majorsamfan

"MARRIAGE IS FOR PUSSIES. And men who like them." -

fax_celestis

"Dude, I'm getting married tomorrow, in between bouts of blogging about zombie attacks. I might even phone some blog entries in, depending on the line at the courthouse." -

deza

(Congratulations! Hope the zombies didn't ruin the ceremony... -CV)

"I'd be happy for GF at this point. SWM LJDQer seeks likeminded SF LJDQer for fun and adventure." -

naraht

(Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? – CV&AL&LL)

"Only to each other.

purplebard and I met on LJ. We had a two year long LJ love affair, and 75 of our 150 guest were Ljers. They flew in from all over the states and many of them we’d never even seen IRL before. The name plates on our tables actually said
Real Name:
< lj user=" " >
My mother was confused, but only other bloggers truly understand." -

amorsalado

(What a beautiful story. I think. -CV)

"Most of us don't *want* to get married; we prefer living in sin. Now pass the gin jello shots and let's get back to pudding wrestling, shall we?" -

adalger

"I don't want to get married. If I got married, I'd have to have a priority other than the internet. Can you imagine how pissed any poor guy would be with me? 'Honey, I want sex.' 'Sure, babe, let me finish this LJDQ first, and it has to be funny so it'll take a while.' I'd be served anullment papers in under 24 hours." -

mathnerd

(Introduce him to Eve, worked for me. – LL)

"We deserve lots of sex, cuddles and video nights without the internet-time-leeching legal hassles of marriage and divorce!" -

opium_lips

"Absolutely. The bride will look splendid in #FFFFFF!" -

iamza

And that's the way it is. Many apologies for the delay; we'll just... get back on schedule next week. Somehow.

AL and CV dedicate this quiz to married folks in general, but most especially to our good friend

fizrep, who got married this past Saturday in a wonderful ceremony that served as a reunion of a lot of old friends. We were in the thick of things and a bit indisposed (and incapacitated), and some things got set aside in favor of... other things. Yeah.

Also, Happy Fathers' Day (a few days ago) to any and all fathers out there in our mass of quizlings.

And, for those of you who need the reminder, Today Is Thursday.

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL