ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 9 June 2008

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

ljdq

1. Who was the sweet-as-pie mother of Wally and The Beav?

"I misread that as 'sweet-ass-pie'…" -

woap,

thiswaste,

stormyskies,

mistressjennfer,

palapaloozaa,

motown_deserter

"Pie really isn’t all that sweet, really. And what pie, anyway? 'Oh, yeah, she’s ‘sweet as pie’ alright, rhubarb pie. Bitter, wilted old thing…'" -

bending_sickle

"Not all pie is sweet. My mother's lemon pie would sucker your mouth like a virgin anus." -

seldear

(And the

ljdq Worst Metaphor Of The Week Award goes to...

seldear! -CV)

"I totally read that as 'Sweet Ass Mother' which for whatever reason caused me to go to google and I was very disappointed at what I didn't find.. You need to set me off on better porn tangents in the future." -

tarpo

"For a second, my mind went to Angry Beavers. I was trying to remember their mom's name. Then I remembered I was thinking of the wrong show." -

coolteamblt

"She had a name? I thought she was just 'Mrs. Stepford.'" -

fax_celestis

"I know of two mothers, Goose and Theresa. Somehow, the former seems more plausible so I'm going with that one." - ANONYMOUS

"'Mrs. Ward Cleaver' c'mon, this was the 50's! Wives didn't get their own names!" -

blindgeoff

"Isn't using a Cleaver to cut pie just a tad overkill?" -

thesecondevil

(Not if it's a meat pie. *rimshot* -CV)

"I feel obligated to make a 'cleavage' pun here, but they were just so damn wholesome that it's hard to bring myself to actually do it." -

hopefulnebula

(Somehow,

ifeedformula brought herself to do it. You can too. I believe in you. -CV)

"June Cleaver, who famously said 'Ward, aren't you being a little hard on the Beaver?'" -

drbear,

kristinmachina
"sounds like something your mom would say just as I'm getting warmed up." -

squeegibo

"June Cleaver; Wearer of Pearls, Maker Of Pies, Speaker of Jive." -

freezer818
"June Cleaver, who in later years served as Head of Jive Studies at the University of Motown." -

jd3000
"Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!" -

captainsblog

(+1, Airplane. -CV)

"I have never been able to fathom how June Cleaver got one damn bit of housework done wearing pearls and heels. Maybe that was the seamy underbelly of the show - June had an illegal maid locked in the upstairs closet." -

madkestrel

"Is it just me, or does that last name seem a little ominous? I always figured she'd get sick of being a housewife, kill everyone, then run off and join a a lesbian commune." -

allie_the_neko

"June 'You have no idea how much valium I'm taking' Cleaver." -

sskipstress

Correct Answer: June Cleaver

2. What movie starred Johnny Depp as an odd youth who gets won in a poker game?

"The Collateral Value of Anne Frank" -

adalger

"Crybaby? Edward Scissorhands? Chocolat? With Johnny Depp and 'odd youth', there's so many options." -

fax_celestis

"…really, adding the adjective 'odd' to describe anything concerning Johnny Depp is a bit superfluous, don't you think? " -

lady_deirdre

"Just once I would like to see Johnny Depp play 'a charter accountant with a completely normal life and not odd in any way' You know.. to see if he could do it." -

tarpo

"This sounds like the plot of a porno movie." -

woap,

writersblock_va,

reticent_lass,

lookatmesparkle,

melayneseahawk

(I wish… - LL)

"I think it was Casino Royale, but I was really drunk the night I watched it." -

jd3000

"If you're playing such high stakes poker that you're putting people up as bets, you may have a gambling problem." -

rikchik

"Pirates of the Caribbean: Show Us On The Doll Where Barbossa Touched You" -

thesecondevil

"Oh please. Like I paid any attention to PLOT when I went to see a Johnny Depp movie." -

flawed_karma

"Johnny Depp was the worst person they ever could have cast for the Millennium Falcon." -

fizrep

"The movie that launched a thousand fangirls into being interested in Boys Night Out." -

shadowsburn

"Every Young Fangirl's Wet Dream in June" -

fox_gloves

"Benny and Joon...and oh God, don't get me started on Mary Stuart Masterson...oh God, so hot...want to...no...that's enough." -

n9uxu

"Benny and Joon. Proof that true love does conquer all, including mental illness, social anxiety disorder, clingy over-protective elder brothers, and skeptical mental-health professionals." -

mathnerd

"Best part of that movie is the using the iron to make grill cheese sandwiches. I wanted to try it, but was told in no uncertain terms by my mother that I would have my ass tanned, probably *with* the iron." -

cmseward

Correct Answer: Benny And Joon

3. Who was the patron goddess of the Roman Empire?

"I thought you said Romulan" -

cjtremlett,

bluetourmaline,

illogicalvulcan

"Ellen Page (and related pregnant teenager data)" - 22 of you

" This is what I get for saying 'patron' instead of the more gender-accurate 'matron'. But mmmm boy, tequila. -CV

This is what I get for saying 'patron' instead of the more gender-accurate 'matron'. But mmmm boy, tequila. -CV

" -

lookatmesparkle
"The Romans had a goddess of tequila?! Well, it would explain Nero's actions a bit..." -

tenku_no_shiro

"Well, they didn't really have patron goddesses per se, as the term patron was invented by Christian scholars in the middle a- oh shit, I'm Latin-studenting again, aren't I?" -

littlelion2k

(… Yes. ::sigh:: - CV&AL&LL)

"OH HOLY CRAP! My cat just blew in my ear! And licked it! Eeew." -

ifeedformula

"The Brazillian women's beach volleyball team are the patron goddesses of the LJDQ empire. Rar." -

thepikey

"Green Goddess, who was later relegated to the lesser salad dressings after the rise of Caesar." -

jd3000

"Sophia Loren, who will be sexier at 150 than most of today's twinkie starlets." -

drbear

"Incontinentia Buttocks" -

fizrep

(+1, Monty Python's Life of Brian. -CV)

"I'm guessing Athena? She was the one who began life as a headache, right? 'Cause that's pretty much the same affect the Romans had on me in Early Western Civ..." -

alaniaflamestar

"

angledge" -

woap

(Angus Lejicus Maximus had the Romans liquidated for their insolence. -CV)

"Hera? Why I hardly...." -

captainsblog

"Juno, Ceres-ly? I have no idea?" -

jopickles

"Sailor Juno" -

mistressjennfer

"Jew-know, who is currently serving as patron saint of wise Israelis." -

squeegibo

(Also the host of the French game show, Jew Don't Know Jacques. -CV)

"Considering the roman empire is no more, she's a lousy patron goddess." -

b_hulsmans

"Juno. Zeus stuffed his marshmellows into her and out came some god-omelets. He also drank her milkshake." -

kristinmachina

(I...whuh? -CV)

"Plagiarisma. Everything the Romans didn't steal from the Greeks, they stole from the Egyptians, who stole it from the Goa'uld anyway." -

elvenpiratelady

Correct Answer: Juno

"The Greeks called her Hera but they were Hera-tics." -

l33tminion

4. From what plant do we extract the essence of gin?

"I usually extract the essence of gin from a thing called 'a gin bottle'" -

b_hulsmans

"The gin factory on 174th St." -

drbear
"My gin comes from a plant in London." -

woap

"NONE! Gin is a Gift from the Gods Themselves!" -

blindgeoff

"Who cares?! We get gin out of it! Call it the Miraculous Gin Bearing plant and I'll start growing them by the bushloads." -

fox_gloves

"I thought this would amuse you guys." -

melayneseahawk

(Ah gin, is there nothing you cannot do? -AL&CV)

"Hemp, because according to my stoner friends, there's nothing that plant can't do." -

tenku_no_shiro

"Can Juneberries grow in Mayberry?" -

majorsamfan

"Ginnamon!" -

wiredwizard

" I think Robert Plant is more likely to emit vodka and cheap whiskey if you distill him. -CV

" -

lookatmesparkle

"Rumor has it that liquified gingerbread men is actually gin. But I heard this from someone who was smoking banana peels at the time, so I doubt it to be true." -

speckled_llama

(Banana peels- not just for masturbation anymore! – LL)

(I...whuh? -CV)

"Gin Blossoms" -

jo_chan

"

sskipstress and I were shopping in the spice store when we found the Juniper Berries. I believe that her brother, would cook them with some gamey animal and sauce it with Juniper. She, however would drink the Juniper and become sauced and turn into a gamey animal." -

csflick

(Some things never change... -CV)

"This makes me think of the old Brothers Grimm story, The Juniper Tree, which gave me nightmares as a child. And now, gives me nightmares whenever I drink gin before bed." -

rosefox8

"

chaosvizier. Seems to me he probably drinks enough gin to have its essence sucked out of him to make more. And that came out quite a bit dirtier than I'd intended." -

mistressjennfer, speaking for

lots42,

antinomic, and

pirho_maniac

"There's this massive juniper in my backyard. My sister threw my Foxtail into it once when she was angry at me and I spent the entire summer on and off trying to find it. That fucker hates me, I swear it. Probably why I get so sick around gin, too." -

hopefulnebula

"I've tried making gin out of juniper myself at home. Kids, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME." -

bluetourmaline

"Juniper. I know this because...wow. I don't know why I know this." -

flawed_karma

Correct Answer: Juniper

5. Fun with lyrics! Name the band and the song:
She's the wildest hon in the wild kingdom
She's the wildest thang to float down
Well there's alligators and razorbacks,
But I don't care, I like to go down tubin' with you...

"Is that the theme for the Arkansas Razorbacks?" - 5 of you

"Why are they singing about tubing when there are alligators? Don't they know that those things have teeth and will EAT YOUR FACE. Or hand, if you're in Happy Gilmore." -

kittycatness

"Rippy the Gator went chomp chomp chomp
Rippy the Gator went chomp chomp chomp
Passing the time by ending children's lives
Down in the bottom of the swamp swamp swamp." -

bluetourmaline

"I didn't know Steve Irwin made an album." -

kristinmachina,

lafourchette

"I wasn't aware fellatio was performable while on a river raft." -

fax_celestis

(Where there's a will, there's a way. -CV)

"Bestiality's illegal where I come from." -

puredeadthingy

"The Rescuers Down Under: The Musical." -

confusedpuppy

(As Disney finishes scraping the bottom of the barrel and starts the hard-core scouring... -CV)

"Marlin Perkins and the Mutual of Omaha Experience" -

n9uxu

"Nala's The Kitty for Me, The Lion King" -

jopickles

"'The Ann Coulter Song' by Pat Buchanan" -

drbear

(Now that's just creepy. -CV)

"Sting! Except. June is the theme, so.... Stung..." -

monroe_nell

"Toobin 2: Electric Boogaloo" -

tarpo

"Jennifer Juniper, by Donovan" -

germankitty

"The Lollipop Guild. You gotta be a pretty badass mofo to pull off looking tough in lederhosen and pointy shoes." -

reticent_lass

"I don't know, but I think I want to try the drugs whoever wrote that is on." -

cjtremlett

"Ha-June-a Matata, by Sting, who lives in June for a month every year." -

siobhan1214

"OMG way to make me feel old, y'all. I had that album on cassette tape when I was a kid, so OF COURSE I know it's 'June Bug' by the B52s." -

ifeedformula

Correct Answer: The B-52's, "Junebug"

6. What are your plans now that the academic year is (mostly) over?

"I get another year and a half to mooch off my parents." -

hopefulnebula

(I did that for five years. Rock on! -CV)

"Celebrate my birthday exactly a week from today. Anyone who can make it to my house is invited to homemade strawberry cake!" -

germankitty

"Seeing as I graduated college this semester, I'd only like to embark these words of wisdom. Sometimes, during the ceremony, when somebody is passing around a bottle of Smart Water, it's not always 'water' but is vodka in a clever disguise." -

fox_gloves

"Ripping out the horrific orange shag carpeting from my 1976 RV! And then possibly taking it to the beach." -

purple_chalk

"Academic year? My 10 year college reunion is this year. You don't have to rub it in my face!" -

marasca

(I'm sorry, my high school graduation was more than half my life ago. I remain unsympathetic. ;-) -CV)

"To confuse the summertime help at McD's by giving them $5.02 for a $4.72 bill and watching them try to make change." -

drbear

"I don't know any of the answers to this there quiz and I'm not having a funny week. I normally wouldn't move myself to comment. But oh, LJDQ, don't you think it's cruel to post about the 'end' of the academic year, to those of us who live in, say.... New Zealand, and have, say... three essays due on Friday, and then have, say... three weeks of exams still to go? Before the end of the FIRST SEMESTER? *sob*
Yours in Misery," -

labellementeuse

"Dumpster dive the local colleges for trashed electronics and furniture." -

tarpo

"Monstrous disillusionment that my degree had no practical use whatsoever in the real world." -

bluetourmaline

"See, ideally I'd have sex twelve times a day and drinks champagne and eat strawberries, but I think I'll play Xbox and babysit and clean out my closets in preparation for moving to the City of Angels at the end of August for *da da da dunh!* GRAD SCHOOL." -

mathnerd

"I have a car and live in Jersey. LBI, Seaside, 24 hour diners, rita's, wawa, and burning down the pine barrens frequent in plans. (Oh, and atlantic city and concerts...)" -

monroe_nell

(I have a car and live in Jersey too. The farthest south I'm going is Great Adventure. Booyah! -CV)

"Same as they ever was. Flirt with married women, take psychotropic pills as prescribed by my doctor and buy G.I.Joe figures. Also, Youtube vidoes of pedestrians being run down in Grand Theft Auto. I feel cheated when they escape. Come back here, swift bald guy! Taste tire death!" -

lots42

"I'm going to become fabulously rich and live on a private island with two man servants called Consuelo and Marcos and they will speak to me in Spanish and I will not understand them, but they will bring me COFFEE and all shall be well." -

kittycatness

"Work in a magnetics lab all summer. AND on a BOAT for 3 weeks!! Geology for the WIN!! Also, I can't wait until I accidentally demagnetize ALL the cards in my wallet. Mmmm magnets. OMG. Best. Job. Ever. EEEEeeeeee. Them other geology nerds will understand. Minerals hold magnetic fields in different ways, and you can tell which mineral is which when they're like .01 microns big. So that's what I'm doing. Do you know how excited I am? VERY!! Omg." -

palapaloozaa

(And the

ljdq Geek of the Week Award goes to...

palapaloozaa! -1 for you! -CV)

"Ah, the good old days, when I got summers off. Now that I'm an adult, I have to work year round! Damn kids and their summers, get off my lawn!" -

jo_chan

"Fuck. School’s almost out. That means my step-son is going to be at home. Instead of at school. Where he should be. Thanks ljdq for ruining the rest of my day." -

amorsalado

(Schadenfreude for the win! - AL&CV&LL)

"Over? Did you say over? NOTHING is over until WE decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no! " -

i_calql8

(Germans? – AL)

(Forget it, he's rolling. – CV&LL)

"I did this quiz just so I can gloat over all of you by saying that my academic year finished on April 23rd. Woo-Hoo! Seems Québec is good for something other than poutine. Which I hate. My plans for the summer fell through so I dunno what to do now. Help?" - ANONYMOUS

"Read trashy romance novels - check. Hang out with friends - check! Drink to excess - check! Find a job - ...oops." -

lafourchette

"'Hey, what comes before Part B?' - 'PART-AY!'" -

wrestlingdog

"I think I speak for all southern hemisphere-dwellers when I say I loathe and despise you all." -

elvenpiratelady

And there you have it. Summer's good and summery and stuff, and June is Junish, and life is good. Warm, but good. Unless it's cold.

Thanks for playing, and welcome aboard to any and all new players and/or watchers! Come on, do the thing! Do the quiz thing! It's good for you. Builds character.

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

scyllacat.livejournal.com

I have come to the conclusion that knowing the answers is not as funy as not knowing the answers.

I love the Robert Plant picture, thank you for including it.

And,
"OMG way to make me feel old, y'all. I had that album on cassette tape when I was a kid, so OF COURSE I know it's 'June Bug' by the B52s." - ifeedformula

OMG, YOU feel old. I have that on CD, which I bought as an adult, so bite me.

From:

etcet.livejournal.com

Knowing the answers is the surest way to break the funny.

Though named daily, it is weekly. Behold the first mystery.

LJ Daily Answers: 9 June 2008

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