ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 12 May 2008

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"Huh huh, wood." - 234892497 of you

1. What is the traditional material given on one's fifth wedding anniversary?

"FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!" -

treerad

"Indifference.. Or is that the 7th?" -

tarpo

(Sometimes, it's the 2nd. -CV)

"Rock... Scissors....Paper?" -

palapaloozaa

(3rd, 11th, and 1st, I do believe. It takes 11 years for everything to stop running, see. -CV)

"The whole concept of those traditional gifts just proves that historical gift-giving is just as retarded as it is now. You have to give gifts made out of something like paper, or tin. I tell you right now, if I ever got something made of PAPER for my anniversary, he wouldn't need to worry what to get me for future anniversaries." -

blunder_buss

"You're asking me after 27 years of marriage?!? I can hardly remember what I got last year!" -

germankitty

(Well, that's not so bad. 18 quizlings believe "divorce papers" are the correct answer. -CV)

"Well, with my ex, just remembering that it was our anniversary would have sufficed." -

cold_clarity

"That special white milky cream used to combat the 7 Year Itch . . . Essence du Mistress" -

uncut_diamond

"A pitying, sympathetic look. Or some powder for that upcoming seven-year itch. I know, I'm such a romatic, LJDQ. Stop it, you're making me blush!" -

jade_sage

"The severed heads of the happy couple's enemies, although that's probably more traditional than you intended." -

teh_antisecks

"The same thing we always get on our anniversary, Pinky: wood. Crap, did I just invoke Rule 34 on Pinky and the Brain?" -

tears_of_nienna

"Tungsten. It makes more sense than you think." -

neblinaclara

"Aspirin. 'Dammit, honey, you need to see a doctor about this, it's unnatural to have a headache for 5 years.'" -

cmseward

"I'll give you a hint. It's in my pants, and it's not a toaster. " -

jrho

"Who the fuck stays married that long these days? Christ, I'll have been with my girlfriend for more than twice that long before we do that ring thing and get the government's permission to fuck. " -

etcet

(Me. 15 years in October. Wood^3! w00t!! – LL)

"Traditional? Wood. I'm more intrigued by the traditional third anniversary gift, which is leather. I suppose after three years of marriage, the sex is getting stale and leatherware is as good to spice it up as anything. " -

m31andy

"... Ah hahahahaha!!! I'm a twelve year old boy. *ashamed*" -

emilyap

"Living with a near-bridezilla right now, I can tell you that getting the wedding present is bad enough. *shudder*" -

princessstarr

"Wood, if you know what I mean, heh heh, heh heh. The substance of which the roots, trunk, and branches of trees and shrubs are composed, if you catch my drift, heh heh." -

dhole

(Drift! Haha!! – LL)

"well, once you're on the your fifth wedding, making it to the first anniversary is a big deal. so, I'd say a very large stuffed animal. Interestingly, after the 3rd wedding, family members only have to come to odd numbered weddings." -

lbmango

"Woodchuck! Well, that's what someone brought to our fifth anniversary, anyway. The hard cider, that is, not the critter." -

cjtremlett

(And that's how we know you come from the North. -CV)

"the seventy-fifth anniversary is definitely the pine-box one. so i'm going to go with the morning wood anniversary." -

songquake

"I'm thinking it's Wood. I know there's a modern set of materials as well - perhaps the modern equivalent is Paneling." -

rikchik

"Wood. (See? No penis joke. No lame comment about how traditionally the husband gives it to his wife, no cynical theory about how the fifth anniversary is probably the last time he'll get it up for her. Because I'm mature like that.)" -

purple_chalk

(That puts you ahead of about 90% of this week's players. -CV)

Correct Answer: Wood

2. What monetary management system provided for the establishment of the International Monetary Fund and the International Bank for Reconstruction and Development?

"TOOO MANNY BIG WURDZ" -

stagemanager

"How many people thought it was the International Monastery Fund? Show of hands?" -

sestree

(I spy with my little eye... your hand. Alone. -CV)

"I think that is the most polysyllabic sentence I've ever looked at. I say looked at because I try to read it and my mind just goes 'blah blah blah blah blah'." -

selenityshiroi

"shoes are pretty" -

jopickles

"Speaking of resource management, I've got wood for some sheep here." -

darthparadox

(+1, Catan. -AL&CV)

"The 'Shove It in the Mattress Until It Reproduces' system" -

woap

"The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation: buying back their souls from the devil one malaria cure at a time." -

silensy

"Wooden coins would be kind of awesome. And easy to fake. *shifty look*" -

melayneseahawk

"Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich. But we have also run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship’s peanut." -

therealchon

(+1, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe. -CV)

"I'm putting myself and my parents thousands of dollars into debt so I can go to college. I'm hardly an authority on anything involving money." -

wrestlingdog

"Given the draconian conditions of the IMF, the Rove-Cheney Federal Bank." -

treerad

"Doesn't the IRS just control everything?" -

cold_clarity

(Only if you're Wesley Snipes. -CV)

"UNICEF" - ANONYMOUS,

blunder_buss

"Would they pay for me to lock down Boardwalk and Park Place, do you think?" -

portkey

"1) Start bank
2) Make bank all 'International' and stuff
3) ??????????
4) PROFIT!!!!" -

arckyosuke

(+1, South Park. -CV)

"The one where you keep your spare change in a giant plastic Coca-Cola bank in the corner of your room until you can barely move it, and you finally take it to the grocery store where Coinstar charges you an arm and a leg." -

shadowsburn

(Coinstar is truly a coin hooker. You pay it money and it gives you nothing in return. Not even the courtesy of a reacharound. -CV)

(Take it to Chevy Chase Bank. Their machine is free and you don't even have to be a member. – LL)

"Tea, as controlled and sold by the East India Company. After all, the East India Company was the first version of the WTO." -

spiralgirl1

"From the way the IMF barges in and drastically ruins the life expectancy of any third-world country unfortunate enough to catch its attention, I’m sure it’s the Spanish Inquisition. And they never bring any meringues." -

lady_deirdre

"OMG FREEMASONS BLING BLING." -

lots42

"Monetary management system handling international banking? It's gotta be either the Illuminati or the Jews. Take your pick." -

oceanica

(They should combine forces. Jewluminati. It sounds like a tasty dessert. -CV)

"I'll gladly pay you tomorrow for a nuclear weapon today." -

jrho

(+1, Popeye. -CV)

"The Bretton Woods system. This is the first time my employment by the UN has helped me answer the LJDQ." -

laughingacademy

(That's how I came up with the question in the first place. -CV)

Correct Answer: The Bretton Woods Foundation

3. Which U.S. President advocated the creation of a League of Nations after World War I?

"goodness knows, you guys go through presidents as if they're condoms." -

gwenhyffar

"J'onn J'onzz" -

woap and 15 other Justice League fans

"President Batman (it's actually 'Justice League of Nations', but the 'Justice' is silent....much like Batman)." -

the_funmonkey

"Lex Luthor?" -

rosefox8

(No, that was the Legion of Doom. We've since learned not to elect bald-headed men to the Presidency. -CV)

"President McCheese" -

dhole

(That was the League of McNations, united to overthrow the Kingdom of Burgers and its creepy monarch. -CV)

"The League of Nations would have been SO much cooler if it had been run by the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Just sayin'." -

oceanica. 12 others agreed.

"If I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away." -

thereachon

"Madonna was pretty good in that but Rosie O'Donnell was just phoning it in. I guess that Tom Hanks must have been the President." - LLEFSER

(+1, A League Of Their Own ~~Nations~~. -CV)

"Wait, what? That was an American? But… why are the US so vehemently anti-UN then? It was your own bloody idea!" -

lady_deirdre

(Well, as Bob Dylan once noted, "The times, they are a-changin'." -CV)

"I always guess FDR on U.S. President questions because four terms gives good odds." -

watergal

(Logical. Incorrect, but logical. -CV)

"You do realise that no one cares about US History other than Americans. Besides, it not even real history because it's too well documented-there's no differing interpretations to argue about. Seriously. Half of my History GCSE coursework was how to properly argue about historical evidence. " -

selenityshiroi

"wow, I just realized how many penis jokes you can get out of the name 'Woody Woodpecker'. Nice." -

jessicamariek

"I'm still waiting for the League to finish up the first round of wars so I can check the standings and see how my favorite nations are doing. All that's been decided so far is that Italy's going to finish at the bottom." -

mark_laura

(Italy at the bottom? Below even France? I beg to differ. -CV)

"Lincoln's Log of Nations was a flop, but that all changed with its name." -

soberloki

"Lazarus Long (né Woodrow Wilson Smith)" -

germankitty

"I used to live on Woodrow Wilson Drive. My, the things we old people remember." -

ebiannah

"I've always wondered what kind of parent would name their kid Woodrow. Did he have siblings named Cornrow, Shedwall, Logpile and Flowerbed Wilson?" -

bluetourmaline

"Woodrow Wilson. He had 14 points. Point 1: Join the League of Nations. Points 2-14: Don't get into any more wars. Oh Woody, how we've failed you." -

raepixy3

"Oh, MISTER WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSOOOOOON!!! (I wonder which power in WWI was his Dennis the Menace. And clearly the cartoonist took a strong dramatic license with Mrs. Wilson. I mean, the real Mrs. Wilson was less Mrs. Doubtfire and more... can I think of an example?... 'Hello, Clarice.'" -

wrestlingdog

"Poor Woodrow Wilson. He only worked himself to death to get people to support the League of Nations, and then after it was proved that he was right after all, no one even bothered to apologize for letting him die early for nothing." -

spiralgirl1

"when he wasn't hanging out with Tom Hanks on a deserted island, he was promoting the UN." -

ginalin

"Advocated and then did fuck-all about, surely?" -

puredeadthingy

(Surprisingly, no, he really tried. Congress just dissed him really badly. -CV)

Correct Answer: Woodrow Wilson

4. What Sondheim musical was inspired by a book, written by Bruno Bettelheim, entitled "The Uses of Enchantment"?

"The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down." -

dhole

"I'm sorry. Is that a question? I thought it was just a series of items I don't give a damn about all strung together into a sentence." -

tarpo

"Musicals make my ears bleed." -

fizrep

"God, don't ask me about musical theater. My complete lack of knowledge makes me feel less gay." -

portkey

"The proper uses of enchantment do not include turning your brother into a pig. Not even when you’ve got a jar of mustard handy." -

lady_deirdre

(Are you speaking from experience, perchance? -CV)

"I read that as 'Saddam' and thought they were making a musical out of the book he wrote in prison...am I wrong to admit I was a little curious about that?" -

killabee886

"Les Fiddler, Dancing King of Avenue Spamalot! (Come on, one of those has got to be right.)" -

tears_of_nienna

(That'll be a -6 right there. -CV)

"The Magic Skinflute." -

pirho_maniac

(+1, subtle wood reference. -CV)

"West Side Story II : Electric Boogaloo!" -

arckyosuke
"Sweeney Todd 2: Eccentric Boogaloo" -

teh_antisecks

"Cats or: How I learned to stop worrying and love my dog." -

boley

"L. Ron Hubbard and the Amazing Space Ghost Delusion." -

reticent_lass

"Since Bruno reminds me of Benhazir Bhutto, I'll go with the most murder-y musical I know: Sweeny Todd." -

speckled_llama

(That's wrong on many levels. +1. -CV)

"Wasn't it that one with the internet phenomenon 'Hypnotism spells are for porn'?" -

ilgreven

"Witchy Woman??? No, that was the Eagles. Sondheim is too highbrow for me." -

tweeti

"The one with all the gay people? Because gays are obviously mythical creatures of enchantment. SEXY ENCHANTMENT. " -

first_seventhe

"Sondheim realized that he wouldn't succeed on Broadway without a Jew, so he went searching for someone with the most Jewish sounding name possible." -

fictionalsolace

(+1, Spamalot. -CV)

"I should have known to dump the last guy I dated when he quoted Sondheim lyrics to me. I'm just saying." -

pfflyernc

"Into the Woods. The good point is it inspired fairy-tale satires such as 'Shrek' and 'Wicked' The bad point is it also inspired the travesty known as 'Happily Never After', and 'Shrek the Third.'" -

kristinmachina

"Best. Musical. Ever. Except for 'Sweeney Todd', which is ALSO a Sondheim musical." -

ifeedformula

"I think I really need to write an updated, urban version, 'Into the h00dz'. That would be Broadway GOLD!" -

gramercy

(I would absolutely go see that. -CV)

Correct Answer: "Into The Woods"

"Which reminds me, I'm playing golf this weekend." -

ginalin

5. A bartender on "Cheers", and the actor who played him. Who are we thinking of?

"Knowing you two the way I do, one of you is probably thinking of speeding up and running over little animals, and the other is thinking of expedient ways to get Hillary out of the damn race." -

captainsblog

"CV and AL are thinking of busty redheads, and LL is thinking of...whoever the male equivalent of a busty redhead is." -

illogicalvulcan

(

chaosvizier. -CV)

(ASS. -AL&LL)

"Its a Dog eat Dog day, and I'm wearing milk-bone underwear" -

writersblock_va

"The Larch.............The Larch. " -

herm42

(+1, Monty Python – CV&AL&LL)

"Mmmm, booze. The cause of, and solution to, all of ... mmmm, booze." -

lots42

"That old guy who died half of the way through? didn't they just call him Coach? or was that an unrelated sitcom in the 80's?" -

lbmango

(Right show, wrong guy. -CV)

"The only famous potential bartender I know is Marlon Brando, because in On The Waterfront he says, 'I could have been a bartender!'" -

bluetourmaline

(::facepalm:: - LL&CV)

"Well, that looks like a giant--Woody? Woody Harrelson? Ohmigod, is it really you?" -

jargon

"I can't remember who played Woody so I'm going to pretend you're thinking of Sam, played by Ted Danson. And I can't remember Sam's last name either. And I live in Boston! Oh well" -

rikchik

"In Cheers everyone knows your name. I'm from California, where we only know your name if we're going to sue you." -

silensy

"Woody. Played by Woody. Thank Christ I finally knew something, even if he's not the actor you're thinking of. But of course, you are thinking of him, because you've been drinking and saying 'woody played by woody' is giggleworthy when drinking" -

jopickles

"Woody Allen" -

buzz,

ntlespino
"I keep wanting to call him Woody Allen because Kirsty Allen was in the show. And now I can't think of the real actor because I can't picture him without thick framed glasses..." -

selenityshiroi

"Was Woody Harrelson on Cheers? Is that even how you spell his name? And why do I always confuse him with Matthew McConaughy? I have so many questions." -

ciara_belle

"Woody! Harrelson! Damn that man was ugly. Is ugly? I don't know is he dead yet?" -

b_hulsmans

(...are we thinking of the same Woody? In fact, strike that question. Completely. -CV)

"I'd never realized what a dirty-sounding name 'Woody Woodpecker' was until I tried to make a joke about Woody the bartender and 'The People v. Larry Flynt' right now." -

songquake

(That took two questions longer than

jessicamariek... -CV)

"Shelly Long totally played Sam, but look what it got her? 'The Money Pit' ?! Oh, and that bad movie where she runs off to Tijuana with Tom Cruise." - LLEFSER

"Er, was there a bartender called Woody? Or was that Toy Story?" -

m31andy

(Toy Story also had a Woody. But this question had twice as much Woody. -CV)

"Do you know how boring the real Cheers is in Boston?" -

atomicpagan

(Probably about as boring as the real Seinfeld diner in NYC. -CV)

Correct Answer: Woodrow "Woody" Boyd, played by Woody Harrelson

"I just took a wee-break from the quiz and spent two minutes trying to turn the bathrrom light on until I realised IT WAS ALREADY ON" -

fence_post

(No more beer for you tonight. -CV)

6. What would [insert your LJ handle here] do?

"How much wood would a

ljdqer chuck if a

ljdqer could chuck wood?" -

noelleleithe

"Lumberjack" -

asrimal

(You would do a lumberjack, or you would jack lumber? -CV)

"Well, I'm not gonna insert my LJ handle there. Who knows where it's been? Dirty LJ handle." -

ilgreven

"For a Klondike bar? Kill you and take it." -

tarpo

"How much money we talking? " -

pfflyernc

"

tweetiwould get

drbear and name him George, and I will hug him, and pet him, and squeeze him And pat him, and pet him, and...And rub him, and caress him and.....Keep him forever." -

tweeti

"Your mom" -

woap,

first_seventhe

(Seriously, I never see it coming. -CV)

"I'd steal forty pies. That's four tens!" -

dhole

(And that's terrible. -CV)

"I'd call up Cthulu, Jesus, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster and have 'em duke it out." -

speckled_llama

"Flirt like the lusty strumpet she really is." -

sometimespez

(We approve of lusty strumpets. -AL&CV&LL)

"The name says it all.

i_calql8. God help me, I love math." -

i_calql8

"kiss you and kill you and move on." -

mathnerd

"Two chicks at the same time." -

gramercy

"I can haz cheezeburgers" -

gorghte

"You don't wanna know. Go ask Dick Cheney if the llama bites healed up yet." -

sienna_blaze

"I help you work, rest, and play. *saucy wink*" -

puredeadthingy

"I'd burn it to the ground and collect the insurance money. Then move to Aruba." -

writersblock_va

"WWFCD? FWIW, FWROFL@LJDQ." -

fax_celestis

"WWCD is a grunge rock station in Columbus, Ohio. That sound you just heard was my head exploding from a sudden onset of oxymoronism." -

captainsblog

"Shoot a load of hot lead into someone's face, which is what a blunderbuss DOES after all. Tragically, despite being called the 'thunder gun', it does not shoot thunder. Maybe I should have chosen 'death-ray gun' as a LJ handle, but I bet it's taken." -

blunder_buss

"Probably something dumb, like write a bank robbery note on the back of my paycheck." -

drbear

(I hate when I do that. -CV)

"Jack Burton always says, 'What the hell.'" -

n5iln

(+1, Big Trouble in Little China. -CV)

"Smoke cigarettes on a pallette in a warehouse and call it my career. " -

boley

"Paint the streets red with the blood of the unbelievers. " -

freezer818

"

wint3rhart would leap tall buildings in a single bound, invent a calorie-free French dressing which does not taste like tossed ass salad, and go through my freezer changing labels from 'peppers' to 'soylent green.'" -

wint3rhart

"Mine would be a mild mannered Gin-and-Pudding salesman, but then would fight crime and take out little old ladies that pay with checks at the grocery store. It would be beautiful." -

killabee886

"GRADUATE! I'm taking a break from packing up my dorm room for the LAST TIME EVER in order to do the quiz!" -

oceanica
"Drink! I graduate Saturday, so vodka and cake all around! " -

princessstarr

(Con-grad-ulations! But don't let this be the last time you ever do the quiz! Unlike college, we are eternal! -AL&CV&LL)

"The Pikey Magic 8-Ball says Drink, Sleep, Fuck, Burn Something, Websurf, Complain, BBQ, & Regulate." -

thepikey

"

fizrep would mend the rift between rich and poor, black and white, East and West, Coke and Pepsi... and have it all done by the weekend." -

fizrep

(That's a lie. You would find the nearest buxom redhead and then get drunk. -AL&CV)

Thematically Correct Answer: "You ash such great questions. I'd take my pine-looking date to a Spruce Springsteen concert to cedar excellent show. Oaky, I admit to lichen his most poplar songs; alder rest of them aren't as good. He's not resting on his laurels though... Son of a beech, I forgot the question. Leaf me alone fir heaven's sake, I'm tired. Are yew sycamore puns? Cherry-o!" - emilyap

(If AL had not gone apoplectic over your punnery, she'd have given you a -10. Good show. -CV&LL)

What, did you think we woodn't go there? We wood. And we did. 'nuff said.

Special congratulations to anyone else who is gradumacating from college around this time. Now that you've learned everything you need to know about life, the universe, and everything, you should be that much more adept at playing the quiz. Plus, you're probably unemployed, so you've got all the time in the world. No slacking!

Everyone else, keep on learning. It's good for you. See you tomorrow!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL

Current Mood: wooden
Current Music: I Wood Do Anything For Love...