LJ Daily Answers: 10 December 2004

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"Is there always a theme? I look at my answers and I don't see a theme. This does not bode well." - kassandra05

(Of course there's a theme. Just ask my dear co-moderator... -CV)

(OK, evilfb and I are discussing marking your doorway to avoid the Angel of Death, & I say, "You have to mark the lintel with blood" & he says, "The lentils?" and I say, "No! Lintels!" and he says, "Lentils?" and I say "What a conundrum for the vegetarians - I mean, lentils, that's good, but animal sacrifice? AHHHH!"
I realize this is apropos of absolutely nothing, butI've been DRINKING HEAVILY this evening. I kicked a bottle of cheap white BY MYSELF. While making RISOTTO for me & evilfb. -AL)

(Ummmm, nevermind... We're rapidly approaching the end of the year; here we are, looking at the final month in the calendar and wondering what the new year will bring. So, a retrospective of months is in order. No, there are not twelve questions for all twelve months. Five was more than enough to keep you busy. And here we go!)



1. On 10 April 1942, soldiers stationed in the Philippines were transported from Mariveles to Camp O'Donnell as prisoners of war. What did they later call this grueling 100-mile hike?

"P’shaw – that hike is NOTHING compared to the 200 mile hike my grandfather had to make every day to school in snow up to his armpits going uphill BOTH WAYS!" - fantom07

(One of the best days of my life was the day my family used the odometer to measure the distance from my father's childhood home to his elementary school, thus putting his ridiculous claims of a two-mile hike to school to rest. It was MAYBE 1/2 mile. Clearly downhill on the way to school, too. -AL)

"Damn, looks like they picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue." - the_headhunter

(+1, Airplane. -CV)

(I've given up sniffing glue, preferring intravenous injections. The doctor has described my pulse as "sluggish & syrupy", but I'm not worried. -AL)

"it's reminiscent of my trek to my car this weekend from the mall. It's not so bad when you get to the mall, it's the trip back after you've shopped for hours and are loaded down with purchases." - bummerfly

"Back in 1942, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Then he discovered America which he thought was India, thus giving rise to the name Indians rather than Native Americans. The Philippine army contested Columbus's ownership of the newly discovered Americas, but they were no match for the viscous forces of Columbus. The few surviving prisoners were forced to march to their permanent holding facility 100 miles away in what as referred to as 'Big C's Nature Walk'" - thereject

(This story is worth it especially for the typo "viscous forces of Columbus". Thick and oily? So... very... funny... -CV)

"The Oregon Trail. Jebediah has dystemper! Will you float or forge your way across the river?" - _lucy_

(You are so two months ago, young lady. -CV)

"The April 10, 1942 March from Hell. Oooh! Ooo! I used two months! Do I get extra credit?" - chrysoberyl

(You do. -2 for being twice as wrong. -CV)

"isn't it something really basic, like the death march?" - elpblonde

(Sort of ... -AL)

"I bet it would have been more like 15 if they'd just asked for directions. Men." - shinga

"as they walked, the following could be heard being uttered by the soldiers: 'Are we there yet?' 'I have to potty' 'He keeps touching me'" - sskipstress

"I believe it's the Rattan Death March because they weren't allowed to sit down on any nice wicker furniture... ON PAIN OF DEATH!" - kenshardik

"The Bataan Death March of Dimes. It was to benefit Filipino kids and teach them anything but that stupid Tagalog language. Sadly, the Japanese tried teaching the Muslim ones Pig Latin and the parents rebelled, leading to a massacre of Koranical proportions." - fizrep

"The Bataan Death March. Out of respect, no witty response here." - mcclintock

(You are so right. And your fellow Quizling sasscat eloquently echoes your sentiments. -AL)

"I can't help but feel it would be sorta inappropriate to make a joke about this one.
I mean...the Baton Death March. Dude. Gymnasts gone mad is no joking matter. The cheerleader massacre...god, the illegal dismounts...it's all coming back to me..." - sasscat

Correct Answer: The Bataan Death March

"Oh! March. Theme. Got it." - silk_knickers

"Named because of the much dying involved." - vanbrosia

"You made us walk 100 miles just to see Robin?!" - orchidee

(No, sorry, that was the Batman Death March. -CV)



2. Which actress used the line "Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I never tried"?

"Sounds like whats-her-face? the one with the many husbands? Dammit. Something like a cat. Kitty, Chi-Chi, Zsa Zsa Gabor?" - vampirespider

(The whole idea of husbands, which implies marriage, which implies the slavery of patriarchy, is evil! Overthrow the paradigm! Embrace promiscuous singleness as a permanent lifestyle! And then .... call me. -AL)

(That's it. No more Thursday Night Drinking for you, young lady. -CV)

"The actress who when caught between bad roles, picks the one she never tried before, would be Pia Zadora." - temima

"Not sure, but she's never been caught between the evils of chaosvizier and I or she'd pick C) All of the above." - fizrep

(Word up. -CV)

(Maybe, or maybe not. In that very situation, I think I remember choosing fizrep. Once again though, I had been drinking at the time the decision was made. -AL)

"Jayne "February" Mansfield" - sasscat

"I was caught between two evils once, man that was some weird sex." - thisisbullcrap

"That's the stupidest line. I mean, why the fuck would you try the black death over being punched in the face? They're both evil, but damn, I'd rather be punched in the face than get the black death, wouldn't you?" - plaidwater

(Can't agree here. I mean, the Black Death isn't really evil. It's just a disease. Rather neutral in its picking and choosing of victims. Now, if you're choosing between "punched in the face" and "kicked in the groin", I don't care how many times I've taken the face shot, I'll keep on taking it. -CV)

"That's always assuming that you'll be caught between one familiar evil and one unfamiliar evil. What if you're caught between two totally unfamiliar evils? Like jabbing a baby repeatedly in the big toe with a toothbrush or breeding mutant goats with a taste for human flesh? What am I supposed to do then, Mae West, huh? HUH?" - fyreflyblue

"Angelina Jolie. 'Cause she rocks. And she's hot." - dracothelizard

(Never a bad answer around these parts. -AL&CV)

"I should know that. But I don't know that. Oh, why don't I know that? Ah well, at least I've avoided a "lesser of two weevils" pun." - meandstuff

(Pun used to full effect in Master And Commander: The Far Side Of The World. -CV)

"i'd like it to be Eartha Kitt... rraaarrrr " - seolta

"Miss Piggy" - moocow1985

"Y’know, this is going to look really dumb when I’ve got the theme wrong. May something? June Obscure-Actress-Lady" - calankh

(Hmm, I suppose this would have been a good spot for a June Cleaver question... but the LJDQ would never stoop to a question that might have had the word "Beaver" in it. No siree. -CV)

(I used to live near a college called "Beaver College". But don't bother trying to Google to find it - it changed its name to "Arcadia University" a few years ago. Why? Because they were getting blocked by so many Internet content filters, it was actually affecting their enrollment. True! -AL)

"Mae 'Come up and see me sometime' West." - siegeofangels

"I still prefer her quote: 'When I'm good, I'm very very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.'" - jelymo, v827

"Mae West, bless her heart. She also gave me the only math I ever needed to know: 'A man has a hundred dollars, and you leave him with two. That's subtraction.'" - nihilistbear

(Note to self: Avoid marriage to nihilistbear. 98% depreciation value bad. -CV)

(You never know, marriage to nihilistbear might be worth $98. After all, it's in Canadian dollars. -AL)

Correct Answer: Mae West

"I can't make up anything funnier than some of her quotes." bummerfly



3. Tom Clancy's character of Jack Ryan has been played by Harrison Ford in two films and Ben Affleck in one. But who was the very first person to play the part, and in which film?

"I've got nothing funny to say about Tom Clancy, Harrison Ford or Ben Affleck. What's wrong with me?" - orchidee

(Well, you can take lessons from any of the following people... -CV)

"Alec Baldwin in “The Hunt for Red October”…IN MY PANTS!" - fantom07

(Okay, not from her. -CV)

"Oh god, Ben Assfleck, now I'm having bad Reindeer Games flashbacks. GAH!!" - thisisbullcrap

"I have no idea, and think that Tom Clancy novels look completely unappealing." - v827

(They look much better with a side of cabbage and a creamy hollandaise sauce. -CV)

(Yes, but where else will you learn valuable tidbits, like the code word for the strike against Pearl Harbor. That's where I first heard the phrase "Climb Mount Niitaka", anyway. -AL)

"Reminds me of the old Navy adage about submarines: twenty guys go down, ten couples come up." - evilfb

"Andy Griffith. It had to have been Andy Griffith. Because if you can handle all the dangerous scum lurking in Mayberry, you can handle terrorists. *nods*" - silent_r_infork

(That was my first guess too. -AL)

(Not really. -AL)

"That would be Alec 'The Least Evil' Baldwin in 'The Hunt for Sean 'Fucking' Connery's Russian Accent'" - kenshardik

"he use to be hot. Then he got old and political. Not like Sean Connery, who got old and hotter." - the_headhunter

"Ooo! I know this one! The Hunt for Red October. Baldwin. Ummm, DanielStevenBillyAdam... Wait, no Adam is the not-Baldwin Baldwin... Alec! Alec Baldwin in The Hunt for Red October." - kassandra05

"I hate Ben Affleck. I was cheering for the Japanese in Pearl Harbor." - shinga

"Harrison Ford=good. Ben Affleck=bad. Yet another movie ruined by bad act...wait. Indiana Jones? Are we talking Indiana Jones? My cousin has the full set, unfortunatly I've never watched it. But I got the Indiana Jones part, right? Riiiiight?" - rhiannon3j

(You might want to take advantage of your cousin's full set right about now. -CV)

"I want to answer John Malkovich for some reason." - siegeofangels

"Sam Neill is the only man who can make Montana sound like a nice place to visit." - mcclintock

"This is where Alec Baldwin gets to act like Jim Kirk, under water, with James Bond speaking Russian with a scottish accent. It's all so very confusing." - siobhan1214

Correct Answer: Alec Baldwin, The Hunt For Red October

(Where Soviet sailors can sing their national anthem in three-part harmony. Ah, comradeship! So musical! -AL)



4. This musical sensation from Canada, who has put out the very-well-received albums Let Go and Under My Skin, has most recently contributed to the soundtrack for the Spongebob Squarepants movie, which I know you're all dying to see. Who is she?

"*resists urge to say Sting*" - moocow1985

(Give in to your hatred, young Jedi. -Darth CV)

"this is why I will never enter any gameshow quizzes. I always SUCK at the pop-culture questions. Probably because I socially live under a rock." - vanbrosia

"Spongebob sucks. Stupid annoying little spongy thing." - dracothelizard

"Jessica Simpson!! (Oh, wait...she really is OUR country's fault, isn't she?)" - magnetgirl

(Yeah, that's definitely our country's bad. -CV)

"I try to ignore Spongebob. And Canada. One is easier to ignore than the other, but thanks for writing a question that reminds me of both." - orchidee

(It's hard work, being this annoying. We drink a lot to dull the pain. -AL)

"The only sensation I've ever gotten from Canada was a rather unpleasant burning one that seemed to appear whenever I urinated. Antibiotics took care of it though." - thereject

(To be fair, we did warn you about that moose. -CV)

"He was a sponge,
She was a pearl.
Can I make it any more obvious?
He wore brown pants,
She played croquet.
What more can I say?
He wanted her,
she'd never tell,
secretly she wanted him as well.
But all of her friends their minds were shut,
They had a problem with rectangular butts.

He's a sponge wearing pants,
She's a bivalve irritant,
He wasn't good enough for her,
She lived in an oyster shell,
She didn't really know him well,
She needed to stop being a jerk." - sskipstress

(+1, poetry. I'm a sucker for poetry. Especially re-worked lyrics. Aaaaaaaaaand I'm out of wine. -AL)

"Isn't this Melissa Etheridge? No wonder she's playing for SpongeBob, she appreciates the irony of getting squeezed." - siobhan1214

"Celine Dion. I know that she "retired" and all, but this is a HUGE career move." - _lucy_

"jason, look! canadian hip-hop!" "you're touching it with your bare hands? eeew!"" - elpblonde

"My fifteen year old son's object of lust." - the_headhunter

(*shudder* - AL)

"Avril Lavigne covered a Metallica song at some awards show. Metallica rocked out to it - because they're losers. Bunch of wanks." - evilfb

"She's Canadian? Man. I'm so disappointed in the Big C. It's like finding out that cool older kid who's into zen and does magic tricks and defends you from bullies...actually kinda likes Backstreet Boys." - sasscat

"Our very own Avril "I'm punk because they told me I am" Lavigne" - lynbug

"Her snarly voice definitely gets under MY skin." - froggie_girlkel

"Avril Lavigne is singing for Spongebob Squarepants? There is obviously something wrong with my world." - yueni

"A former-except-only-sort-of-friend gave me the first CD for a birthday because she couldn't figure anything else out. I think that explains why she's got the word "former" in there." - plaidwater

"April Laverne. Okay so that's not her real last name. But I just can't stop humming the theme song to Laverne and Shirley. Don't ask." - chrysoberyl

"If this turns out to be Avril Lavigne, I'm going to break something." - bubosquared

(Please feel free to send a picture of you and whatever it is you broke. We're very interested. -AL&CV)

Correct Answer: Avril Lavigne

"She gives me hives and makes me want to sew different flags onto my backpack." - nihilistbear

(Crap, what are Americans abroad supposed to do if they can't imitate Canadians? Fuck, do we have to pretend to be from Alaska or something? -AL)

"Oh and i think you will find that the country was renamed a couple of years ago and is now known as Canadia.... a much grander moniker don't you think?!" - seolta

(Please update your atlases. -AL)



5. What name did Octavian take upon becoming the first Roman Emperor?

"Biggus Dickus." - silent_r_infork

(+1, Monty Python's Life of Brian. -CV)

(vulgarbarian does the best imitation of that scene ... EVAR. "Do you find it ... rithible ... when I say the name "Biggus Dickus?" OMG so funny. -AL)

"'alo. My name is Inigo Montoya." - sskipstress

(+1, The Princess Bride. -AL)

"Darth Revan" - thereject

(-1, KOTOR Geek. You have paid the price for your lack of vision. -Darth CV)

"El jefe Grande" - froggie_girlkel

"Yeesh talk about red tape, back in the old days rules for name changes were much harsher, I mean you had to practically become the emperor to get one of those things done." - mcclintock

"Caesar. Please tell me everone gets this right...." - thinkhesknowsya

(Come on. You've been playing the Quiz for weeks now. Did you really think it was possible for us to write a question easy enought for EVERYONE to get it right? -AL)

"I have no idea" - nihilistbear

"I am not going to promise that I am correct. I may even promise that I am incorrect." - chrysoberyl

"Well, Caesar is way too obvious. If this were Quite Interesting, there'd be alarms going off and I'd get -10 points. Er, we'll stick Ptolemaios I Soter. 'Cause I've got a list of Hellenistic kings here, and he's the first of the Ptolemaians, or whatever. Ruled from 305 till 283 BC." - dracothelizard

"Caesar Octavian Ovarian" - _lucy_

(Ruler of Tubus Fallopius before his promotion. -CV)

"Nonatavian, one better than Octavian." - fizrep

"Whichever name he wanted, that was ancient Rome, man... They'd fuck you up if you tried to say otherwise. Hello! Gladiator, anyone?" - thisisbullcrap

"Maximus Decimus Meridius. But he prefered to be called 'Pookie'." - meandstuff

(+1, Gladiator. -CV)

"Augustus 'Suck on it, classical age of Greece' Caesar. I also have to wonder how many 'Doc Oc' jokes you're going to get." - fyreflyblue

(Five. Including the following:)

"Doctor Octopus. Then he fought Spiderius, who had the porpotinate sense of a spider and was going out with a hot red-headed teenaged boy." - lots42

"if I was him, I'd have been Caligula. Because Caligula? Rocked. Well, at least in Penthouse's version of his biography." - nihilistbear

"That would be good ole' 'Put me in the calendar, dammit, and I don't care if it fucks up seven-ember, eight-ober, nine-ember and ten-ember' Augustus." - sasscat

"Finally, one I know. Augustus Caesar, Imperator, Princeps, Pontifex Maximus, Pater Patriae, and all-around great guy." - siegeofangels

"Caesar Augustus to honor his uncle who raped him up the ass on multiple occasions. I mean, I would totally want to honor that, wouldn’t you?" - fantom07

(Only if I were from Alabama. -CV)

"I was just in Rome a couple of weeks ago. On my map, there's a big marking for where Augustus' tomb is. It looks large and round, so I figure it must be cool, right? Actually, it's kind of in a bad area, surrounded by falling down fences. There's trash everywhere, a homeless gypsy guy, and surveillence cameras. I was afraid to even go in." - marasca

Correct Answer: Augustus Caesar

"... which is Latin for "THE WORLD IS MINE, BITCH!" Loosely translated, that is." - jelymo

"not to be confused with Augustus Gloop. Augustus Caesar, for instance, did not get stuck in a chocolate pipe." - temima



6. What's your favorite time of year, and why?

"Christmas! Or was I supposed to answer August?" - vampirespider

(This is the LJDQ. You can answer however you like. Especially on the free-form final question. -AL)

"July is the month of nerd camp, so it's obviously the favorite. I'm seriously contemplating studying number or game theory. Because number theory is just. That. Damn. Cool." - plaidwater

(All my numerical theories currently point to you losing one point for being the Geek Of The Week. -CV)

"Autumn - Beautiful leaves, warm sweaters and snuggling under blankets with cute guys. Who wouldn't love the fall?" - froggie_girlkel

(By your logic, lesbians shouldn't like autumn, I guess. Are the guys optional? -AL)

(evilfb asks: Maybe they are girls posing as guys? You know, butch? -AL)

"Summer Vacation - Two and a quarter months of relaxation before the school year starts again. Unfortunately my office does not take kindly to giving employees two an a half months off each year, so I don't get a summer vacation any more. Maybe I should move to the Paris office. They get six weeks of paid leave a year." - chrysoberyl

(Ahh, Europeans. I wish I had six weeks of vacation a year. -AL)

(I do. And it completely rocks. Yes, six weeks of paid vacation, that's pretty sweet and tasty, it is. How much do you get at that new job of yours, oh dear co-moderator mine? -CV)

(HATE. YOU. SO. MUCH. -AL)

"Any time spent sleeping. No. Seriously. I've done so little sleeping this past.. long time, that I forget what it's like to wake up refreshed. Do people do that anymore?" - sideviewhotel

"Any school break, because college is preparing me for my future as a drop-out and I consider school breaks as 'working vacations'." - silent_r_infork

(That is quite a clever justification. +1. -AL)

"i like late summer, early fall, because it's warm enough that i can wear tank tops, and because it's cool enough that i'm not dying because of my refusal to wear shorts out of fear of blinding the world...stupid irish blood..." - elpblonde

"Late spring. I love the late spring with the trees and flowers and chirping bir- Ummmm, because it's not cold anymore. Yes, that is my answer: I love the late spring because it isn't cold anymore." - kassandra05

"Fall, because it is part of the cycle of life, when life ends, and hibernates in preparation for when they can be reborn." - yueni
"Autumn, when the leaves become a symphony of red and oranges." - mcclintock

(Since when did this place become The Internet Poetry Corner? -CV)

"Whatever time provides lots of ridiculous socially-acceptable amounts of drinking." - shinga

(That's every day in my household! -AL)

"Lunchtime. Or brunch, actually. A nice Sunday brunch with friends. And then lots of wine. And then the oral sex!" - kenshardik

(Brunch clearly means something much different to you than it does to me. I need to try your version sometime. -CV)

"Hmmm... tough call. I'll go with October, because I like the fall leaves, and Halloween, and my birthday is in October. You can't beat presents, costumes and candy all in one month!" - marasca

(Lots of October birthday here. -AL)

"The autumn – mainly ‘cause my birthday is in October, but also because of Halloween and the changing of colors. I’m sure when I get older I’ll love it even more because it’ll be the end of summer vacation and I can send my kids off to school." - fantom07

(Way to think ahead. +1 if you're a Libra. +2 if you have the same birthday as me. Not that I believe in that astrology crap or anything. -AL)

"I like May because it's the season when tons of wicked little thoughts merrily appear, and when the coeds start sunbathing on the quad, causing even more wicked thoughts. And there are maypoles, which are symbolic of sex." - sskipstress

"Tax refund time, so I can pretend I have a lot of money for about five minutes." - thisisbullcrap
"Tax season. The only time of year I'm GLAD I'm still unemployed and living in my parents house..." - magnetgirl
"Income Tax return time! When the government gives me back all the moeny it stole from me this year!" - nihilistbear

(And this is why I took a job that doesn't require me to pay taxes. -CV)

"Halloween. Good atmosphere, the disguises, the smells of the leaves, apple cider - wait. Cloyingly glurgey apple cider? That's not a skeleton! That *IS* ANNE MURRAY! GET BACK HERE! GET BACK HERE AND LET ME SPLATTER YOUR SWEATER-WEARING BEHIND, BITCH, YOU INFECTED MY HOLIDAY!" - eibii

(Fascinating and disturbing all at the same time. I applaud your skills. -CV)

"I like December. Curl up in bed, no uni, no school, just me, my warm bed and a good book. Plus, we get presents, Christmas AND New Year's. What's not to like?" - dracothelizard

(Vacation, drinking, & gifts. Pretty much the triumvirate of good times. -AL)

"Late Summer/Early Fall. Because I hate being cold (I don't even like being chilly) and I hate being too hot." - the_headhunter

(You might consider moving to San Francisco. Apparently, we don't have seasons here. Mild temperatures all the time, with occasional fog. -AL)

"I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I KEEP HITTING THE FUCKING POST BUTTON WHEN I DON'T MEAN TO" - thereject

(Quoted from thereject's third post to the Answers. Woe. -AL)

"Whenever LJDQ updates" - lots42

(Just put the apple on our desk already & get the fuck outta here. -AL&CV)



And another quiz comes and goes, like the sands in the hourglass. Apologies all around for starting late and skipping a reminder and posting late and wow angledge is really loaded right now and I'm popping pills after having a Cinnabon with extra frosting (that's gonna cost me at least two of the seven pounds I've lost recently) and hey, we'll do better next week. Happy Chanukah for any Jewish LJDQ players out there, and see you all real soon!

Rock on,

AL&CV

Comments

[kassandra05.livejournal.com]

And that will be my one thing learned today. Thank you.

Woo hoo! Now I have all day to learn nothing.