ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 10 March 2008

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

1. What company, headquartered in Raleigh, NC, is a leading distributor of the Linux operating system?

"I'm sorry, I don't speak Cool Person." -

puredeadthingy

'Raleigh... that name only reminds me of bicycles. And now I'm thinking of a computer with a bike attached, that you have to ride to get the pc working. If you want to download music, you have to pedal harder, otherwise it'll take all day. If you want to download porn, you have to take the saddle off." -

lady_deirdre

"A company in NC makes Linux?! I thought the the only thing coming out of the south was Nascar and tobacco!" -

fox_gloves

"I didn't know slackware even HAD a headquarters!" -

lbmango

"Peanutx" -

jmthane

"Self-Important Superior Pricks 'R Us" -

littlelion2k

(No, that's Macintosh. -CV)

"We Got Penguins, Y'all!" -

fizrep

"They invested heavily in the 'Happy Feet' marketing campaign, didn't they?" -

akiyasan

"You mean that penguin doesn't just fly around the world giving good little programmers Linux-in-a-can on every day of the year but Christmas? Now I am sad." -

nakedblueninja

"I dated a Linux geek once. NO ONE out geeks a Linux geek. No, not even 30 year old parents'-basement-dwelling LARPers." -

marasca

"Linux-Lewis, the undisputed software champion of the world" -

i_calql8

(That's a sports joke, which as you know is wasted on this crowd. -CV)

"As a time traveler from the year 2015, I can honestly say that the correct answer here is Microsoft." -

kandelschwartz

" TRON makes everyone cooler.

" -

chershey

"Red Hat, Blue Hat, One Hat, Two Hat." - 5 of you

"The Red Hat Society. Microsoft better watch out for those ladies in purple!" -

csi_tokyo3 and a few others

"Red Hat. Rumor has it that they got their name from a tendency to dip their hats in the blood of Micro$oft users." -

deza

"Is Red Hat software a front for Carmen Sandiego? Do they employ redcap fairies? Is Santa Claus involved? Inquiring minds want to know." -

rikchik

(Many others want to know about Carmen Sandiego. We don't know where she is, though. -CV)

"Red Hat. Now, the question is, if the white hats are good guys, and the black hats are bad guys, what are red hats? Communists? THEY ARE. OMG. Fucking pinko bastards with their attempts to standardize computing platforms by distributing free software! Everyone is equal, comrade, on a Linux system." -

fax_celestis

"If your computer is specc'd fast enuf is it Blue Sombrero?" -

jennielf

Correct Answer: Red Hat

2. In hockey, what has a player accomplished if he scores three goals during the same game?

"Third base!" -

nakedblueninja

"Turkey!! ...um, no wait...that's in Bowling...." -

jennielf,

bebopag812,

killabee886,

niroby,

gabriels_mommy

"What is this 'hockey' of which you speak? Sincerely, North America south of the 45th parallel." -

captainsblog

"a top hat? triple deke? everything i ever learned about hockey came from watching the mighty ducks' trilogy. which, come to think of it, doesn't mean much." -

wellowned

"He gets to be traded away from Los Angeles." -

kandelschwartz

"A critical hit causing the goalie to need to make a saving throw against ineptitude." -

wiredwizard

"I never understood this, hockey players don't even WEAR hats." -

lbmango

"I’m more familiar with the term in connection with horse racing. C’mon, Dover! Move your bloomin’ arse!" -

laughingacademy

(+1, My Fair Lady. -CV)

"A Canadian orgasm. Better known as a hat trick." -

lirimaer

"I may be one of the worst Canadians around because not only do I only know this answer because of some sucky free book they gave us in Grade Six, but I also can't stand hockey." -

kaerran

"I don't know about hockey, but a similar thing in bowling and darts (REAL SPORTS, SINCE THEY INVOLVE ALCOHOL!) is a hat trick." -

nighthellcat

"Nothing special? For the millions those guys get paid, there should be a lot more hat tricks. Any tricks. Maybe they could take a lesson from the Harlem Globetrotters... that'd be fun!" -

zastrazzt

"Not to be confused with a desperate prostitute working for hats." -

treerad,

palapaloozaa

"Not to be confused with the Gordie Howe hat trick, which is scoring a goal, earning an assist, and getting into a fight in the same game." -

buzz,

etcet,

gorghte,

neilx

Correct Answer: Hat Trick

"...or a Beret Trique if he's French Canadian" -

marasca

3. What Lewis Carroll character is found "investigating things that begin with the letter M"?

"Lewis who?" -

b_hulsmans

"Fargo North, Decoder." -

drbear

(+1, The Electric Company. -CV)

"the magical mister mistoffeles. he has a song dedicated to him and everything." -

wellowned

"Ken Starr." -

spiralgirl1

"Mycroft Holmes" -

csi_tokyo3

"Moneydamages, head of Internal Affairs for MI6." -

captainsblog

"Count von ... Letter?" -

katzies

"I investigate mammaries too, and I didn't get to be in some fucking book." -

fizrep

(Yeah, but everyone does that. They're mammariffic! -CV)

"Um, my name begins with M. *goes to check behind the bushes in the front yard*" -

deza

"Things don't begin with the letter M, that's your problem right there. " -

elvenpiratelady

"The detectives of the Special Letters Unit." -

niroby

"mushrooms starts with the letter 'M', so does marijuana... probably the Caterpillar." -

thepikey

"Jervis Tetch." -

i_calql8

(+1, Batman. -CV)

"Uncle Andrew? That guy who was Digory's uncle and who later got planted upside down or right side up in The Magician's Nephew..." -

bluetourmaline
(...and then, a minute later...)
"Oh dear gods, I was confusing Lewis Carroll and C.S. Lewis, how could that possibly happen?" -

bluetourmaline

"Morpheus. Did you want to take the Mauve pill, the Magenta pill, or the Milori pill? Sorry, Alice, we're fresh out of RU-486, so you're just going to have to keep that Muffin in the oven; Maybe Mr. Hatter should have had another, smaller, hat on Mad Junior." -

etcet

"M is for mercury!" -

zastrazzi and others

"The Mad Haberdasher" -

race_carrigan

"I know the answer is probably the Mad Hatter. But, Im going with Titmouse. Because TIT.MOUSE. Yep, Im 12." -

aliaspiral
"I know full well it's the Mad Hatter, but I'm going with the Frumious Bandersnatch, because hehe, I said 'snatch.'" -

electric_worry
"Oh, Hatter," said Alice, "I have a 'muff' and 'merkin' for you to investigate." -

woap

Correct Answer: The Mad Hatter

4. Which book by Dr. Seuss uses only 223 different words?

"Ethel the Aardvark goes quantity Surveying" -

tarpo

(+1, Monty Python. -CV)

"Famous Jewish Sports Legends." -

kandelschwartz

(+1, Airplane. -CV)

"i tried to hop on pop. my dad didn't take it too well. he now has a gimpy right leg. i'm blaming my sister for that one." -

wellowned

"Dr. Seuss's Big Book of Words That Can't Be Used As Some Sort of Insult or Racial Slur." -

littlelion2k

"I can think of maybe three of his books off the top of my head and the only one that COULD be only 223 different words (and it's a wild guess as I haven't read it in years) is the Red Fish, Blue Fish, Green Fish, WTFEver Fish, Gay Pride Rainbow Fish-- wait, I may be thinking of another version." -

shinga

"And who knew that such a book would be read the world over by populations that don't even *have* 223 different words? Or at least so it seems with some people..." -

jmthane

"As someone who routinely grades the work of Dartmouth students, I can tell you that Dr. Seuss, an alum, was not alone in his ability to write with an extremely limited vocabulary." -

spatialrift47

"Isn't there a comic strip titled 223? Or was that a TV show? All the numbers blur together..." -

akiyasan

"I have nothing witty to add to this and instead will interpret the question with dance.. Which you can't see but let me tell you... it's fantastic" -

tarpo

"Green Eggs and Ham. He wrote it on a bet/dare, which is just fucking cool. " -

etcet

"Green Eggs and Crack had Son of Sam I Am shouting the constant refrain "Pill me up, bitch!" Good times, good times." -

thepikey

"Cat in the hat, how bad was that? I wanted to beat him up with a bat, that annoying cat in that fucking hat." -

b_hulsmans

"Jesus, that cat was such a huge jerk" -

jade_sage

"The Cat in the Hat who Sat on the Mat and was Fat and then ate a Rat, et cetera. " -

girl_who_is1337

(Oh yeah! – LL)

(And that's that. – CV)

(Scat! – AL)

"I have Dr Seuss underwear, they tell me 'Take it slowly, this is dangerous' Ah Dr Seuss, you've never led me wrong. " -

niroby

"I wonder how long he spent trying to omit one and make it 222. 'Must remove an item balanced on the cat's foot...but damn, they're all so good!'" -

neblinaclara

"The Cat in the Hat. He rewrote and renamed it after this (slightly NSFW) version was rejected by his publisher because the title was deemed derivative of the fairy tale and the content as 'unsuitable for children'." -

germankitty

"The 4000 different word version is titled, 'The Pesky Feline Wearing the Gentleman's Cap'." -

slave_to_anime

"% cat 'The Cat in the Hat' | tr -s ' ' '\012' | sort -f | uniq | wc -w
223" -

mark_laura

(By the power of Greyskull, that's so geeky even I cannot comprehend your madness. You get the

spiffington Award for Total Gibberish because I have no clue what's going down here. -CV)

Correct Answer: The Cat In The Hat

5. What Ani Difranco song begins with the line "In walked a man in the shape of a man"?

"I get all this way and still don't see a question about the Man in the Yellow Hat. I'm disappointed." -

lemurstew

(Yeah, well, five questions, you know the drill. At least you're using something more classic than Harry Potter's Sorting Hat. -CV)

"Shouldn't there be a Men Without Hats question somewhere?" -

watergal

(No, because I always get them confused with Men At Work and end up with the band Men In Hats. Just move along. -CV)

"when is a man not in the shape of a man, I ask you!?!? (Okay, CSI probably has an answer to that one that would be totally and magnificently gross!)" -

majorsamfan

"What, is he a shapeshifter? Or a werewolf? Tell the truth, this song is really about Oz and the adventures of Dingos Ate My Baby, isn't it?" -

aliaspiral

(+1 for dingos eating babies. -CV)

"The Only Woman Zeus Ever Seduced As A Human" -

littlelion2k

"I guess when you put out something like 8 albums a year for close to 20 years you run out of decent lyrics after a while." -

thepikey

"I suppose she was expecting a man to walk in, in the shape of a woman. Huh." -

ifeedformula
"I once saw a man walk in with the shape of a woman. Man boobs - natures horrible mistake." -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

"The one that ends with 'Out ran a coyote through a wall, leaving the shape of a coyote.'" -

csi_tokyo3

"The only thing I know about Ani Difranco is if you go to a concert, you see tons of teen-aged girls bopping around to Beat Poetry. Come on, you don't DANCE to Beat Poetry. You snap. And drink black coffee while wearing a beret." -

lbmango

"Plasticine Dreams. I believe the next line is "but then someone left him out of the box and he DRIIIIIIIIIIED OUUUUUT till he crumbled like the FALLACY OF MODERNIST WORLLLLLLD." -

aesriella

"I feel like a bad militant feminist lesbian for not knowing this one..." -

melayneseahawk

"All Men Are Evil and Should Have Everything South of the Hat Torn Off" -

motown_deserter

"In lieu of actually knowing the answer, I will instead offer my Ani Difranco street cred; her former manager is a friend of my parents'. Also, she used to cut up ping-pong balls and superglue them to her fingernails to get that distinctively aggressive guitar sound on her first couple of albums." -

etcet

"Hat Shaped Hat. Lyrics by the Department of Redundancy Department." -

germankitty,

wrestlingdog,

elvenpiratelady

Correct Answer: Hat Shaped Hat

6. What's your favorite piece of headgear?

"this question just BOWLED me over! I feel on TOP of the world! Hey, you, BAKER BOY!...uhm...Is that a BASEBALL or are you just happy to see me?" -

4492

"The few dark hairs I have remaining on my head." -

drbear

"Is it wrong that my mind went to a dirty place?" -

bebopag812

(Well, let's ask the next few contestants... -CV)

"Trojans. Oh... you... you weren't referring to that head, were you." -

buzz
"Thighs. Male, preferably. " -

stagemanager
"Your mom! Ok, that didn't work the way I'd hoped... " -

melayneseahawk
"Tuna." -

aesriella
"Boobs" -

freezer818,

lots42

" Tin Foil- it's not just for cooking anymore! -CV

" -

fox_gloves

(The movie was awful, but that scene was great.

finn2 and

watergal, the tinfoil is everywhere. -CV)

"Well, lemme tell ya, after a few months of fashion experimenting, it's certainly NOT a halo." -

mark_laura

" When you just gotta buttfuck an elephant, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES! -CV

" -

electric_worry

"I gotta go with softball catcher's face mask. I would have had a really ugly face several times over if not for that thing." -

fullmetalkatu

"Too many options! Pirate hat, fez, boonie-hat, fedora, panama, driving cap... Tell you what though, it won't be a beret!" -

blindgeoff

"My A&W touque with the big orange pom-pom on the top." -

a_l_p_h_a_b_e_t

(The word "toque" was used by six different persons during this quiz. -CV)

"I rarely sport a noggin topper, but I do love me some Pope hats. " -

fizrep

(Here's a file photo of our very own

chaosvizier for you:
Yes, the Pope Hats are made of newspaper. Yes, I'm in the middle. Yes, I was a lot younger then. -CV

)

"my favourite has got to be my plastic 'viking hat'." -

lirimaer

(...and here's a file photo of our very own

angledge for you:
Do not use the word 'horny' to describe this picture. -CV

)

"a magic top hat that i can pull gin, pudding, strippers and dollar bills out of." -

kira_snugz

(Let me know when you find one, because I could use one too. Hell, I could use three or four. -CV)

"I'm not much of a headgear person myself but I've grown fond of those pancakes you see on various people's/creatures' head in those funny pictures on the internet. I believe you kids call them macros? " -

katzies

(I have no idea what you're talking about.

- LL)

"You know what they call people who have a fetish about headgear? Orthodontiphiliacs. Weirdos." -

zastrazzi

"Sunglasses - my future is so bright" -

gabriels_mommy

"Goggles. Why bother wearing them over your eyes if they Do Nothing, right?" -

boredom_doodles

(+1, The Simpsons. -CV)

"A crown. It's good to be the king." -

jrho

'Hat's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it, uh huh uh huh...
Ok, enough of that. Hats off to everyone who played this week; you all helped cap off a good weekend.

Rest in peace, Gary Gygax, who gave many folks the chance to wear many different hats. Hey, that was thematically appropriate, even. Wheee!

And, for those of you in the NY/NJ/CT area of the country, I (CV) will be heading off to the 27th ICON Sci-Fi convention the weekend of April 4-6. It's a fun con, hiding up in SUNY Stonybrook, and I'll be drinking. And gaming. Probably simultaneously. Anyone who finds me gets +10 and a free drink.

Happy Smarch to all, and see you again tomorrow!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL