ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 25 February 2008

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"The first tool I remember learning to use was a "misery whip" with my forester father on the other end." -

themommage

You know, that's far more out of hand than ANY answer below. Just... wow.

"As a side note, I'm reading the book World War Z, about a world-wide infection that causes a zombie uprising. It's very good, by the way. Anyways in the book, they refer to humans who sort of lose their mind and start acting exactly like zombies as "quislings". It made me think of LJDQ, awww." -

ihateusernames

For more information on the word "quisling", check here and here. It's all about the learnin'.

1. What are the common terms for the malleus, the incus, and the stapes?

"Larry, Curly, and Moe" -

jrho

"That would be iconic indie rock band R.E.M." -

yak_boy

"Things you'd think are in my sex-toy box, but aren't" -

wiredwizard

"Rejected Johnny Quest villains. " -

lots42

"I'll take 'Rejected Names for Columbus' Boats' for 100 Alex." -

sestree,

pyllgrum,

katiebgood,

dotcomslash,

illogicalvulcan

"They kind of sound like three Dwarves that didn't make it, or maybe the three Fates that failed." -

first_seventhe

(They were defated. -CV)

"The hammer, the anvil, and ... uh, Sneezy! I always forget him." -

spatialrift47

"Sith about to be introduced into the Star Wars EU? I bet Darth Stapes is really hardcore." -

quasar360

"I dunno, but I bet I have them all pierced." -

amorsalado

"I think my doctor just tested me for those..." -

marasca

"Dem bones, dem bones, dem *dry* bones...." -

cmseward,

b_hulsmans

"an incubus? Thats a part of the ear right? A demon that sucks out your life with its cold penis? Is that just me?" -

geenei

(If you're asking about demons sucking the life out of you with a cold penis through your ear, then yes, I'm pretty sure it's just you. -CV)

"those are the bones that I never ever hope I break, because that will likely mean that my head has been pulverized." -

ellistrae

"My physiology classes were two years ago, I can't rememeber what the ear bits are called, but I can tell you that your voice box looks a lot like a vagina... What? It's true!" -

niroby

(It is true. -CV)

"The hammer, the ruler, and the stapler. Like Rock/Paper/Scissors at a teamster's meeting." - ANONYMOUS

"Well, malleus means hammer, and incus means anvil, so I'll go with 'things that fall on Looney Toons' heads a lot.'" -

electric_worry

"The anvil, the hammer, and the sickle. All glory to the proletariat cochlea!" -

the_antisecks

"Hammer! Anvil! Stirrup! Eardrum! Oval Window! By your powers combined, I am MIDDLE EAR! (GO EAR!)" -

active_apathy

"Excuse me, I think you have my stapler... And if I don't get it back I will set fire to your EAR." -

sashayaki

"The Hammer tunes your ear to high-frequency sounds, the Anvil to the low-frequency ones, and the Stapler shoots little bolts of electric pain into your inner ear whenever you listen to your music too loud, shaking a cane and screaming, 'TURN IT DOWN RAPSCALLION OR I'LL FETCH ME BELT.'" -

fax_celestis

"I wish my stirrups had little ear horsies for them =(" -

fizrep

Correct Answer: The hammer, the anvil, and the stirrup (the three smallest bones in the human body, located inside the ear)

2. A mixture of orange juice and vodka is usually called what?

"How many answers of 'breakfast'? Seeing as it is part of this complete breakfast." -

speckled_llama

(More than you can possibly imagine. -AL&CV&LL)

"An hourly snack at Lindsay Lohan's house." -

drbear

"Don't ask me liquor questions, I had never been in a bar until I was 26 and

drbear took me. He completely corrupted me, you know." -

tweeti

(Getting the girls drunk and bringing them home?

drbear for the win! -CV)

"Nasty. I'll have a carbomb instead." -

the_antisecks

(Make mine Irish. – LL)

"My first thought was 'bloody mary,'" but then I realized that neither orange juice nor vodka are red. I fail at alcohol. And colors." -

quasaar360

"There is an inherent danger in drinking alcohol that tastes like juice.. Not like 'JESUS CHRIST ITS A LION GET IN THE CAR' danger.. but more like 'How did I end up in Mexico and where are my pants' danger." -

tarpo

"A screwdriver - though whether it's a Phillips or a flathead I know not. " -

spotts1701
"Personally, I prefer it with orange soda. I call it a Sonic Screwdriver. " -

electric_worry
"Adding milk of magnesia makes it a Phillips screwdriver." -

etumukutenyak,

scifantasy

(I can't believe I actually laughed out loud at that… - LL)

"I like reverse screwdrivers, which are more vodka thant orange juice and,w hen mixed right, will knock you flat on your ass. Vodka: The Panty Remover!" -

kittikattie

"I actually hate screwdrivers, because I hate vodka. (Gin, FTW!) However, when I was in high school, I was in the wilds of Spain waiting for a massively delayed train. At this point, it was 1 in the morning, and had dropped into the 50s, in the middle of July. We were freezing our asses off. One of my friends had a bottle of bottle of vodka, so we mixed it with a bottle of Orange Fanta to make ghetto screwdrivers. Most foul substance I have consumed in my life, but we were warm.
And in conclusion, 16 year olds are *dumb*." -

illogicalvulcan

"You can substitute the vodka with sake or soju and still have a great screwdriver. And yes, I do have personal experience with this. Extensive personal experience." -

buzz

(Not many people can find good soju. Now I'm curious... I'll have to try that next time. -CV)

"Before I got to College I only new Screwdrivers and White Russians. If I've learned nothing else from this wonderful State University at least I've learned how to drink like a goddamn sailor." -

prettylily

"On the way down, it's a screwdriver. Back up again it's Presenting the Orange Rainbow to the Great White Telephone." -

annemjw

"Happiness." -

wint3rhart

Correct Answer: A Screwdriver

(Number of underaged persons who got this right: SIGNIFICANTLY MORE THAN ONE. -CV)

3. In the movie "Full Metal Jacket", what position did actor R. Lee Ermey's character hold?

(Number of people who instinctively thought of "Full Metal Alchemist" instead: 9. -CV)

"hey,

lovellama, want me to drill you 'til you call me Sarge? " -

infinitysquared

(

i_calql8 will kill you if you--- wait, I already used that joke. – LL)

"On top, and he had the common decency to give a reach-around." -

electric_worry,

fizrep

"Very, very quiet- he's hunting wabbits!" -

katiebgood

"Arabesque, for 15 minutes. He fell over at 15:21." -

ihateusernames

"He played one of the loudspeakers, right?" -

spatialrift47

"Lance Corporal. I know that's wrong, but 'Lance Corporal' is the awesomest sounding military position ever. Well, right behind Rear Admiral." -

fax_celestis

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to restrain my slash lobe, but it's not worki-HE HELD THE FAT KID'S P33N. THAT'S WHAT HE HELD. *flees into the night!*" -

raisedbymoogles

"Drill Master. Sadly, at no point does he ever fight with giant drills. That would have been badass." -

hylarn

"Chief Human Relations and Physical Improvement Officer with a double-degree in Chewing Bubblegum and Kicking Ass. And he's running out of ass." -

3771

"My parents never let me watch movies with positions and holding." -

faery_wing
"Heh. What 'position' does he 'hold.' Heh." - everyone else

"Isn't that the guy on the ~~Hitler~~ History Channel that calls everyone maggots?" -

queeniexb

(You mean Ryan Seacrest? -CV)

"Facedown on the latrine floor." -

brownkitty

"Drill Instructor. This is the highest position in the USMC. Even God obeys a DI." -

hugh_mannity

Correct Answer: Drill Instructor

4. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the band:
All this time to make amends
What do you do when all your enemies are friends
Now and then I'll try to bend
Under pressure wind up snapping in the end

"

chaosvizier and the LJDQers, 'We were teenagers before you were born,' from the Ageism is NOT an acceptable answer album." -

infinitysquared

"I refuse to do lyrics questions based on my inability to read lyrics without trying to sing them as if they were the Facts of Life theme" -

tarpo

"If I don't google but only cheat by asking

rivetkitten who is my authority on all things lyric, is it still a penalty?" -

themommage
"Why do you say fun with lyrics? It is never fun with lyrics. Especially when I have to let my mom down because I don't know the answer!" -

rivetkitten

"Heaven forfend that as we wend to the answers we send we intend a rhyme to lend and mend a meter that is pend-ing." -

drbear

"I don't know but I'm betting it's by Tool. Hmm, snapping, pressure - let's call it 'Plank', by Tool." -

labellementeuse,

greenspyders

(Tool was the second choice for this question. -CV)

"'Don't Be Such A Pussy' as sung by the Oompa Loompas. One of their more controversial lessons for the children of the world." -

littlelion2k

"All around the carpenter's bench, the monkey chased the weasel..." -

sskipstress

"Something by the Little Baby Foo Fighters, who last I knew were hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and... bopping them on the head." -

captainsblog

"everytime I go to write 'Foo Fighters' I have to fight back the urge to write 'foo foo fighters', which definitely has a different ring to it." -

ruchi

(Better than froo froo fighters, I suppose... -CV)

"Monkey Brain by Egg Foo Youngers" -

fictionalsolace

"You know, I get stopped by people telling me I look like Dave Grohl. And this is alright and everything, don't get me wrong, and I love the Foo Fighters, but one day I just wish someone would stop me and tell me I look like Charles Bronson. I think I need to spend about 40 years beating people up with my eyelashes for that to happen, though." -

3771

"Chimpanzee Twist in mid-air, by Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee." -

germankitty

"About The Point In Guitar Hero 2 Where I Pretty Much Give Up" -

electric_worry

Correct Answer: "Monkey Wrench" by the Foo Fighters

"Just what the hell is a Foo Fighter anyway?" -

buzz
"10% of all proceeds from their albums go towards the fighting of foo." -

umbralcorax

5. What is the capital of Poland?

"Wait, who invaded it this week?" -

faery_wing

"How many people said 'P'?" -

revieloutionne

(

tarpo,

brownkitty,

raisedbymoogles,

greenspyders,

ladyiapetus,

dotcomslash,

sometimespez,

billfl,

ellistrae,

jokergirl,

formshaper,

starryeyes203)

"Silly LJDQ, everyone knows the capital of Poll-land is Iowa." -

raepixy3

"

" - a whopping 35% of you

"I wish it was Krakow just because I love the name. I have visions of udderly full cows smuggling crack cocaine across the city limits." -

iamza

"It used to be Pollywog, but it turns out the place was just a tad Polish." -

i_calql8

"I dunno, but I have some really GREAT jokes if you're interested..." -

race_carrigan and several others

"In communist Poland, the saw wars you!" -

marasca,

etcet

"capitals? we don't need to stinkin' captials!" -

speckled_llama

"Is Poland the country with twin roly-poly rulers? They look very round and squishy in pictures." -

jrho

(I think that would be San Marino and its Captains-Regent. -CV)

"Berlin, more often than not." -

captainsblog and several other Deutschland lovers

"Carmen Sandiego is the only reason I know this." -

wint3rhart

"What is the capital of Poland? Do you think Warsaw is 'sister city' to Lillehammer?" -

majorsamfan

"Warsaw. Right next door to Famineheard, Pestilencesmelled and Deathfelt." -

germankitty

"Warsaw, not to be confused with War Hammer, which is what Thor used." -

oboe_dude

"Ninevah! No wait, WarsAUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!" -

poisonedwriter,

katiebgood

"I... honestly didn't know Poland had cities, to be honest with you. WARSAW! That's it. It's Warsaw. That's in Poland, right?" -

houseofknaus

"Warsaw, past tense of Warsee, which was the capital of Poland a long time ago." -

etumukutenyak

"This is just to taunt me isn't it. Damn geography, always sneaking up on you unexpected, and then bam! You're lost, again, in a town you've lived in for over twenty years. At least if I don't like history I can rewrite it, apparently it's an arrestable offense if I do that to geography, or street signs." -

niroby

"Warszawa, which was bastardized into English as 'Warsaw' specifically so that LJDQ can use it in a tool-themed quiz." -

woap

(Goddam right. They respect our authoritah. -AL&CV&LL)

Correct Answer: Warsaw

6. Do you have what it takes to get the job done?

"No, I have internet which it what it takes to keep from getting anything done." -

jrho

"Yes, thanks to natural male enhancement!" -

drbear

"Depends on who you're asking. My boss? Usually. My wife? Very yes. My parents? Never." -

fax_celestis

"All you need is money or other forms of bribery, and you can get anything done." -

woap

"Yes, but what do I stil need? MORE POWER!! arh arh arh!" -

billfl

(+1, Tim Allen. -CV)

"I have lawyers, guns and money. I can get any job done. For a price." -

hugh_mannity

"If I did have what it took to get the job done, I wouldn't have left #5 blank." -

rhiannonjk

"I'm a film student with skillz in producing crap-tacular films of student quality. So the answer is no." -

fox_gloves

"I've tried to convince one of my friends that I do, but she stubbornly insists on staying straight. :(" -

twbubbles

"Are you kidding? I own more tools than any six past boyfriends combined." -

ladykalessia

"I have a liquor store within a mile of my house so I can easily." -

brownkitty

"Only if it's saving the president from ninjas." -

hylarn

"Your mom certainly seemed to think so." -

littlelion2k,

gorghte

(Somehow, I never see it coming. -CV)

"In fact, I have the touch. And the power." -

raisedbymoogles

(+1, Transformers: The Movie. -CV)

"You know, I think that hearing 'get 'er done' is grounds for justifiable homicide in several liberal states now." -

pfflyernc

"Hell no. I count it a good day when I can remember my AGE. And I haven't hit forty." -

lots42

(Count your blessings. T-minus 83 days and counting… - LL)

"No, but I do have what it takes to make it look like I'm getting the job done, whilst embezzling funds, and then leaving the country whilst the infrastructure collapses. Should been nicer to me suckers." -

niroby

(Why hello there, Mr. Bush. I didn't recognize your username. -CV)

"i have boots, boots made for walking. so i can indeed get it done." -

kira_snugz

"I think I'll just keep on trying till I run out of cake." -

active_apathy

(+1, Portal – LL)

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, I got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and I'm wearing sunglasses" -

thepikey

"What sort of sick soliciting is this, anyway?" -

faery_wing

"Well, since I started taking Viagra..." -

cold_clarity

"I have duct tape" - 8 of you, which is pretty close to the correct answer

And there you have it. We've nailed down another quiz, shoveling answers back at you with the funny wrenched forth. Comedy truly is our vise.

Welcome to all new players; we see a lot of you this round. Keep on playing, and go out there and tell others about how much fun the quiz is! Spread the word! Be our tools!

See you all tomorrow, same tool-time, same tool-channel.

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

sestree.livejournal.com

""I'll take 'Rejected Names for Columbus' Boats' for 100 Alex." - sestree, pyllgrum, katiebgood, dotcomslash, illogicalvulcan"

Believe it or not I'm actually married to one of the fellow answerers.

From:

chaosvizier.livejournal.com

Looks like you two are on the same boat, then.

From:

illogicalvulcan.livejournal.com

The fact that I woke up diagonally across the bed indicates it's not me.

Though named daily, it is weekly. Behold the first mystery.

LJ Daily Answers: 25 February 2008

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