ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 24 December 2007

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

"Me Tarzan. You Jewel. Book says so. Stroke my Dick, we have Son. I never die.
There, I just answered all of them for you." -

beyond_the_six

Your efficiency is astounding.

First black, then white, now gray? Our predictability is astounding!

1. What Oscar Wilde novel describes a man whose portrait ages in his stead?

"Wilde Stalliones!" -

fizrep

"I'm pretty sure that Casey Kasem has one of those portraits somewhere." -

tweeti

(12 other folks assumed that was Dick Clark.

germankitty thought it was Paul Newman.

mamajoan believes it's Bob Saget. -CV)

"So a portrait of someone looks a lot older than the portrait's subject, and that's considered unusual? You obviously have not seen my driver's license photo." -

i_calql8

"I have a pastel of myself as a child in my bedroom closet right now (until my wife figures out where to hang it), which reminds me of the novel every time I open the closet. Thank you LJDQ for creeping me out!" -

squeegibo

"Does that mean the portrait got birthday presents? What do you give a painting for its birthday, anyway? Frames every year? Maybe some nice new glass?" -

woap

"I wonder how many quizlings will know the answer to this from 'The League of Extraordinary Gentleman'?" -

nighthellcat

(Far too many. Oh LXG, the comic-to-film transition was most unkind to thee. -CV)

"Oh Dear Gods Stuart Townsend Is Hot In LXG [which the BEST crappy movie ever made]" -

elaran

(Negative. Flash Gordon is the best crappy movie ever made. -CV)

"I thought it aged in his attic." -

theninth

"The Portrait of Gandalf the Grey" -

elfie_samurai

"The Portrait of Zane Grey. In the painting, westerns keep happening, forever and ever." -

etcet

"Dorian #A4A4A4" -

teh_antisecks

(That right there is Geek Of The Week material. Merry Christmas; here's a -1 under your tree. -AL&CV&LL)

"Oscar Wilde just wrote that silly book in a pathetic attempt to cram in as many witty quips as possible into every page. It's like 200 pages of a man's quest to make it into Literary!LJDQ." -

reticent_lass

"Do you know how sad it is to use the phrase "he must have a great portrait in his attic" and have people stare at you blankly? Do you know how much sadder it is when I have to admit those people are my co-workers at a bookstore?" -

lady_lilith

"I would have loved to have seen THAT receipt. 'Pay: Mr D Grey, ONE picture that looks a bit gross if you're nasty, in exchange of ONE irreplaceble human soul.'" -

puredeadthingy

"The Picture of Dorian Gray. When I had to read it for school, I was hoping the picture came to life and ate people. No such luck." -

ccaretta

"Fun fact: Oscar Wilde's full name was Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde." -

silensy

Correct Answer: "'The Picture of Dorian Grey', not 'portrait', 'drawing', 'stencil', 'sketch' or 'Finger Painting'." - killabee886

2. Who was Bruce Wayne's first ward?

"I have no idea, so I'm going to say 'ward up.'" -

ajmcoqui

"I first read that as 'Who was Bruce Willis' first ward,' in response to which I was going to draw witty Batman parallels, and/or mention the Sixth Sense. Alas, I fail at reading." -

quasar360

"Why did I read that as 'Bruce Wayne's first wand'? I kept wondering if he'd had a new one fitted after Robin failed to exclaim 'Holy corndogs Batman!' when they first met." -

lady_deirdre

"The Chuck Norris Ward For Improbable Injuries." -

puredeadthingy

"Ward? I didn't know Batman could cast spells?!" -

wiredwizard

"He only voted in the first ward for presidential elections" -

drbear

"Ward 9 in New Orleans. Why do you think Batman's masked? He had to run from the law after that clusterfuck." -

illogicalvulcan

"We don't talk about that one.. Poncho was a nice kid.. but wasn't really the "robin" material. He was far more inclined to dress up as Sailor Moon than a caped crusader." -

tarpo

"Batman, you dirty, dirty pedophile. Let's face it: why else would he have dressed that gymnast orphan boy up in spandex? And then, when Dick Grayson got too old, he kicked his ass to the curb and got a new Robin." -

photosinensis

"thanks to Joel Schumacher, all I think of now when I think of Bruce and Dick are bat-suits with nipples. Thank you SO much, Joel, you rubber-fetishist bastard." -

kenshardik

"Dick Grayson. He's the gay one, right?" -

melayneseahawk

"If by 'ward' you mean 'plaything', then it's Dick Grey." -

dracothelizard

"Hugh Beaumont. He's everybody's first Ward." -

i_calql8

"First? That man goes through wards like a freshman goes through 'girlfriends'." -

pirho_maniac

"Dick Grayson. Because, yeah, sending a traumatized kid who just lost his parents to live with a man who dresses himself up as a giant bat and runs around the city with a utility belt stuffed with goodies like this:
You know, Beowulf would have done a lot better if he'd had some of this shit handy... -CV

You know, Beowulf would have done a lot better if he'd had some of this shit handy... -CV

makes SO much sense..." -

iamza

"Did they really need to give him that first name to make it all the more homoerotic?" -

lady_lilith

"remember when you could name a fictional character 'Dick' — or 'the Beaver' — and no one so much as would blink?" -

laughingacademy

"I'm just wondering which you're going to get more of, Dick jokes or inappropriate Batman art?" -

beyond_the_six

(It was close, but the Dick jokes won out. -CV)

"When I was little I always pretended to be Dick Grayson and marry Batgirl. In retrospect, my parents probably should've caught on to the bisexual thing a bit sooner. Or the nerd thing." -

lilpocketninja

"Burt! But there were too many shenanigans happening on-set, so he replaced him with a Dick." -

trishalynn

"Dick Grayson, the circus acrobat cum catburglar. Can I say cum n LJDQ? It's Latin, so it must be okay. If you've seen Rome on HBO, you know they were pretty classy people, after all." -

deza

(Yes, I've seen Rome. What I learned from Rome can be summed up succinctly by Atia: "Large Penis makes good housegift." -CV)

" At least he's not the Juggernaut, bitch. -CV

At least he's not the Juggernaut, bitch. -CV

" -

scifantasy

Correct Answer: Dick Grayson

3. Had John Clayton not become Tarzan, what would his formal title have been?

(Earl Grey, Hot references: 16. -CV)

"Sir George of the Jungle" -

quasar360 and a dozen others

"Priscilla, Queen of the Desert." -

kiffle

"Sir Not appearing in this film" -

speckled_llama

(+1, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. -CV)

"Mowgli." -

cold_clarity

(That was that other jungle. -CV)

"Minister of Enlargement for the European Union" -

teh_antisecks

(+1, five weeks ago. -CV)

"He'd have the power. He'd be Prince Adam of Castle Grey Skull." -

houseofknaus,

theburningdoll,

deza,

jrho

"And now I have the image of a Lord a Leaping from chaneliers and other European dangly bits." -

ntlespino

(Huh huh, "dangly bits". -CV)

"Little Lord Fontleroy" -

wolffepsyche

"Lord Grey*mumble*. (I got the theme, at least, *and* I know I spelled the 'grey' part right, because he was British.) " -

cmseward

"All I can think of is John Clayton of ESPN who is a dead ringer for the egghead chick in the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons, and imagining him as Tarzan is making my head esplode.
There's not much to be said here; drbear is spot-on in his assessment. -CV

There's not much to be said here; drbear is spot-on in his assessment. -CV

" -

drbear

"I like bananas and coconuts and grapes! I like bananas and coconuts and grapes! I like bananas and coconuts and grapes! That's why they call me TARZAN OF THE APES!" -

ataralas

"John Wëïssmüllër! Me five-time olympic gold medalist. You Jane." -

fictionalsolace

(+1, excessive umlautage. -CV)

"Wait--is this the Weismuller barely-able-to-speak-in-sentences Tarzan, the Disney surfing-on-tree-limbs Tarzan, the Christopher Lambert worst-Tarzan-ever Tarzan, or the Miles O'Keefe I-got-to-second-base-with-Bo-Derek Tarzan?" -

i_calql8

(Technically it's the Edgar Rice Burroughs' words-printed-on-paper-and-bound-into-a-book Tarzan. Surprisingly, Christopher Lambert was more accurate than most in this regard. -CV)

"Hey, wasn't Clayton the bad guy in the movie? He didn't become Tarzan! Disney wouldn't lie to me!" -

lilpocketninja

(Well, it didn't lie about Rosie O'Donnell being a monkey. That much is truth. -CV)

"The Earl of Greystoke, whose home is a really depressing castle in England. There were no bananas, so John returned to the jungle, where he married Jane and she later gave birth to George... " -

iamza

"My mother, from whom I learned everything about being a nerd, informs me it's Lord Greystoke. My father, less of a nerd and more of a dork, says it's Lord Greystone. Then they started arguing about this until my mother rolled her eyes, muttered something about stubborn Irish fools, and stopped talking to my dad. Thanks you very much for ruining my vacation, LJDQ." -

illogicalvulcan

(I'm sure you'll thank us for this one day. -AL&CV&LL)

"I know *I'm* GLAD he eschewed the ascot in favor of the loin cloth, hubba hubba.. Tarzan can butter MY bread any day.. ohhhh yeaaaaaah." -

joscelin

(One helping of Jungle Love, coming right up. -CV)

"Lord AHHHHAHHHHAHHH of Greystoke." -

tweeti

"Lord Greystoke, although his son sounds a lot cooler with that title. Lord Korak 'The Killer' Greystoke. Seriously, who would pick on this kid? Nobody, that's who." -

rumershard

Correct Answer: Lord Greystoke/The Earl of Greystoke

4. What book, first published in 1858, is the basis of a current popular television series?

(Ok, "basis" is a bit of a misnomer; the title of the book is what's stolen, and the subject matter is somewhat related. But whatever; enough of you figured it out. -CV)

"Wait wait wait. THERE WERE BOOKS IN 1856?" -

kittikattie

"They have to use material written a really long time ago because of the current writer's strike. They lift dialogue verbatim, right from the original text, so everyone's going about saying things like, 'Streuth!' and 'What the deuce?!'" -

elfie_samurai

"Books? Into televison? That's a bald-faced lie, sirrah! Everyone knows books are far too complicated to be made into anything resembling good, clean television!" -

ccaretta

(Verily, you speak truth. I do remember the "War of the Worlds" television series, after all. -CV)

"How to Serve Man. You know there's a sinister bent to all those cooking shows." -

woap

(Well, you never DO find out where the losers of "Iron Chef" end up... -CV)

"'Survivor: Galápagos Islands' by Charles Darwin" -

mcrunner03

"The Book of Mormon... key inspiration for the show Big Love on HBO." -

joscelin

"You mean people in Hollywood can read?" -

ginalin

(Nah; they just liked the book for its pretty pictures. -CV)

"Battlestar Galactica was written in 1858?" -

nakedblueninja

(Yup. "Ironclad Frigate Oceania" dealt with a jointly operated British/Indian naval vessel fleeing an invasion force from Ceylon. -CV)

(That was terrible. -1 for you. -AL)

"I'm one of four people on this planet who's never seen a single episode of the TV series" -

germankitty

(You might find #2 and #3 here among your moderators. -AL&CV)

"Gray's Anatomy. As with many adaptations, very little was carried over from the source work." -

rikchik

"The series is nothing like the book! After watching several episodes, I found myself disapprovingly muttering, 'It's like Jurassic Park all over again, except without the dinosaurs!' A velociraptor in the ER would be pretty freakin' hilarious, though." -

rumershard

(Ok, I'll give you that: a raptor in the ER WOULD be pretty funny. "Paging Dr. Rex. Dr. Rex to the ER. Paging Dr. Rex." -CV)

"The book is Gray's Anatomy. And the show is called Grey's Anatomy. Which causes no end to the headaches-- oh, the constant internal battles of e versus a! Such confusion as a child in the Canadian schools. No consistency. It burns." -

vega_ofthe_lyre

"Gray's Anatomy.
The book was more exciting.
It had nude people." -

syrazemyla

Correct Answer: Gray's Anatomy

"I'm still waiting for Darwyne's Origin of Species, the series about the dramatic personal lives of several young zookeepers." -

teh_antisecks

5. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the artist:
I hate you, I love you
Leave, please don't go away
Can't decide if I like your face
Or if I wish it would stray

"I fail to understand how this is fun with lyrics if I am not having any fun. " -

tarpo

"I'm crap at these things. I think the tradition is to guess Sting?" -

melayneseahawk

(That would be correct. Not the correct answer. Just the correct tradition. Rock on. -AL&CV&LL)

"Gray by Stingray." -

kokopellinelli

(I'd have given you a +1 if you'd made a Steve Irwin joke here. -CV)

"Bi-Polar World by Me. No, You." -

kiffle

"How does a face stray?" - 10 of you wondered thusly
"is that what they call it when you've turned 70 and your cheeks hang onto your shoulders?" -

lady_deirdre

"'Fugue for a Two-Faced, Passive-Aggressive Wuss,' one of J.S. Bach's ill-conceived collaborative efforts, penned while he was boning Schubert's mistress." -

etcet

"'Me in a Nutshell', by the Ambiguously Gray Duo." -

tweeti

"Blink 182, Every Song They Ever Wrote?" -

maggiebloome

"How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?" -

jmthane

"This sounds like a bizarre marriage between Evanescence and The Clash. The song is probably called "Your Face"" -

quasar360

"The original lyrics to Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time. " -

cold_clarity

(Now we can look forward to "Hit My Sister's Baby One More Time", which is sure to be a best seller... -CV)

"I'm guessing it's Macy Gray. I don't know what this song is, but apparently she has a song called 'Give Me All Your Loving Or I Will Kill You' which seems pretty awesome to me. Maybe I'll get lucky and this is that song." -

rikchik

"I do not like those lyrics, Sam I Am! And so I'll provide my own, better lyrics from Australian band Weddings Parties Anything's song called 'Rosey and Grey'--which fits your theme:

Well I've kissed you in France, and I've kissed you in Spain
And I've kissed you in places I'd better not name.
And I've seen the sun go down on Sacre Lecoeur
But I like it much better goin' down on you,
Yeah, you know that's true." -

trishalynn

"'Grey Matter' by Jewel. I'm so happy I actually know the answer to a lyrics question that I'm going to buy something for myself when I go out Yule shopping later today!" -

maisontv

(Just don't buy a pony. -CV)

"Doesn't sound like she's using her grey matter in those lyrics, though. She needs Hercule Poirot's help, I think." -

aderyn333

"Grey Matter, by Jewel. Hmm, if I postulate that a zombie and a golem are more or less the same thing, and Jewel is close to Jewish, would that mean the chorus of that song is "BRAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNZZZZZ!"?" -

germankitty

(You are definitely the big winner of this week's

gruyere Award for Logic Renunciation. Congratulations! -AL&CV&LL)

Correct Answer: Jewel, "Grey Matter"

(+1 to

mark_laura, who pointed out that A) Sting has a song called "Dream of the ~~Gray~~ Blue Turtles" (which, oddly enough, no one else mentioned) and B) Oingo Boingo also has a song called "Grey Matter". Go figure. -CV)

6. What are your plans for the end of the year?

"The same thing we do every night, Chaosvizier! Try to take over Livejournal! What do you mean, the Russians got there first? DAMN COMMIES." -

maggiebloome

"You probably expect me to say 'Booze!' Just for that, I will instead say 'Bees!'" -

quasar360

"Meeting up with friends from nerd camp! Drunk nerds blabbering about obscure programming concepts! " -

speckled_llama

"Take the last week off, go to a Solstice party, watch some anime, play some games. Goodbye, 3173! " -

rikchik

"I am one of those sad people who sits at home with her parents. So my plans consist mostly of champagne and pictionary." -

feywood

(Nothing wrong with that; we both love champagne and are damn good at Pictionary. Rock on. -AL&CV)

"I'm supposed to go to 'The Cabin.' 'The Cabin' is a mystical place everyone in this city seems to talk about. Apparently it's a wonderful place and peace and magic where even the Leafs may have a chance at the cup. Obviously fictional. " -

lemurstew

"Like most other quizlings, I'm sure alcohol will be involved. Hopefully lips too, but that one I can't guarantee. " -

sometimespez

"I plan to still be under the influence of a constant flow of food and booze (procured for me by my awesome dad) that will be starting on Friday in order to get through the season of relatives that barely know me, yet still feel qualified to give me "advice" on every aspect of my life. " -

maisontv

"Putting on eBay all those stupid Secret Santa gifts and unwanted Christmas gifts we received this year. Who needs regifting when there's money to be made? Scented candles that give me a headache? Buh-bye. Golf balls? Sold. DVDs of movies I already have? Gone. Books someone wrongly assumed I'd like? History. Online auctions so rock. " -

i_calql8

"I'm getting together with a bunch of inspirational friends, random craft supplies, and power tools. We're holding a CRAFTING PARTY! I call dibs on the Dremel!" -

infinitysquared

(...words fail me. -CV)

"I plan on having alot more fun than I had last year, which saw me working front desk at the hotel and listening to drunken idiots scream at me. This year I plan on being out somewhere.. and listening to drunken idiots scream in general." -

tarpo

"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou, if thou art drunk enough" -

drbear

(Dear

tweeti: Drink up. -CV)

"I'm going to take my red door and paint it black." -

photosinensis

"I'm going to paint myself purple, and dance atop a piano singing 'cunning plans are here again.'" -

faeriedragon

"Become queen of the world. Or at least the mistress of my domain." -

trishalynn

"See if I can slip some champagne into the zoo, then get sloshed with the animals. Nothing says fun like drunken otters." -

ccaretta

(You know, I bet otters WOULD be funny drunks. Please provide pictures. -CV)

"Me, some LJDQ mods, some assorted monkeys and a barrel of gin." -

fizrep

(We're gonna have us a PARTY! -CV)

(Also, that's mean, calling

marasca a "monkey". -AL)

"Kick back with some friends and praise Godzilla in the only way we know how: Staying up all night watching bad movies" -

fictionalsolace

"Weeping over the Giftmas bills, interspersed with periods of binge drinking." -

deza

"Moving! Yay! I get my own room, in the basement, which means I finally get to fulfill the stereotype of unemployed nerd still living at home in the basement." -

pirho_maniac

"Well, I just lost my job because my entire company folded, so I think my plans will involve vast quantities of gin and moping. 'Tis the season!" -

ajmcoqui

(...ouch. Well, we'll drink to your well-being and hope for a good start to the New Year! -AL&CV&LL)

"I'm getting a new bed. A really cushy one with 5 inches of memory foam on top. I plan on spending a lot of time in it and being really lazy ass." -

ginalin

(AL used to have a bed like that. It's a wonder she ever got up in the mornings, ever. -CV)

"I'll have my own party at home on my couch with my good friends Ben and Jerry." -

mamajoan

"It’s probably best if you can honestly say that you had no prior knowledge." -

laughingacademy

Correct Answer: "After we say grayce, we'll eat turkey and grayvy, whole-grayn rolls, a side of mashed potatoes topped with grayted cheese, maybe some Grayde A eggs, and unless I'm grayvely mistaken, for dessert we'll have fruit, including graypes." - mark_laura

(Sounds grayt! -CV)

And there you have it. Our Black/White/Gray trilogy has come to an epic conclusion on this fine Christmas Eve. But worry not, comrades and colleagues! Tomorrow's joyous holiday does not mean we will sit idly by and fail to tax your brains and your funny bones. Nay, we say! There will be quizzing tomorrow, so be prepared!

Meanwhile, from all of us (well, all three of us) to all of you (of which there are significantly more than ~~five~~ three), Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year, and may you enjoy the end of this year and the beginning of 2008. On our parts, we're probably goig to be drinking like fish. Well, maybe not LL; she's a responsible parent. But CV and AL are irresponsible and proud of it!

See you all real soon!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Mannheim Steamroller

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

naraht.livejournal.com

no quotes, and I think I entered. What a fucking crappy chrisdtmas present....this is cause I'm Jewish, right?

From:

chaosvizier.livejournal.com

Yeah, you caught us right in our anti-Semitic keisters. (;-) (that first parenthese is a yarmulke on his head, see?)

Hmm, maybe next year we could have a Chanukah-themed quiz. It could be... oil. And there would be eight questions. Right? Eight days of oil? Or is it Oyl?

please be someone with a sense of humor...

Though named daily, it is weekly. Behold the first mystery.

LJ Daily Answers: 24 December 2007

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