ljdq | LJ Daily Answers: 22 October 2007

chaosvizier.livejournal.com posting in

While the quiz theme this week was travelling, our wonderful moderator

angledge travelled one step closer to Middle Age this past Saturday. She celebrated in style, surrounded by good friends, good drink, and an abundance of meat. Happy Birthday!

Ok, on with the answers.

1. What movie starring Seann William Scott had him selling sperm, stealing a school bus from a blind lady, and leaving Tom Green behind to care for a voracious snake?

"tonite on a Very Special Blossom ..." -

sestree

"You know, I could have lived with the selling sperm, beating old ladies, and leaving snakes in a friend's house, but it was the three names and the stupid extra 'n' of 'Seann' that pisses me off." -

elvenpiratelady

"I don't know. I got stuck on the second N in Seann. What on earth is its purpose? I tried to pronounce it separately from the first N, so the whole thing came out 'Sha-Na-Na' and that sent me into a bad '70s-nostalgia headspace, so I had to go lie down for a bit. Anyway, Tom Green sucks." -

chlaal

"-1 to mods for referencing Tom Green. I mean, do you truly have no standards? Will Ang start rooting for the Cowboys? Will CV start eating tofu? I mean, wtf???" -

thepikey

(-10 to you for trying to give us a -1. -AL)

"Did the snake get an Oscar nod? Anything that can digest Tom Green deserves a vote of thanks from the Academy." -

csi_tokyo3

"Tom Green Must Die. Yes. I know that's not the movie's name. But tell me I'm wrong." -

uncut_diamond

(Full credit. -AL&CV&LL)

"This movie sounded pretty cracked out and good, but then you mentioned Tom Green and it lost all attraction. It's not Road Trip, is it?" -

selenityshiroi

"Haven't we all driven cross country with some friends to retrieve the homemade porn video we made while cheating on our girlfriend after accidentally mailing it to her? Who is with me?" -

gorghte

(*crickets chirping*)

(*more crickets*)

"I despise Tom Green. With the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. He is the un-funniest comic in existence. And the only thing he can say for himself is that he boned Drew Barrymore. But, who in Hollywood can't say they boned Drew Barrymore?" -

karmaschild

"That was a movie? Oh man, I thought that happened to me my sophomore year in college! I suppose you're telling me that I also never met that talking dog with the munchies? I guess that's what I get for majoring in whiskey at MSU." -

malhablada

"'AMY SMART'S BOOBIES OMG.' Ahem. I meant 'CHICK WITH GREAT ASS NAKED IN THE LOCKER ROOM OMG'--no, wait, that's not it, either. 'Nude Scene with Otherwise Forgettable Hotties Who For Some Reason Want to Bang Tom Green'? 'Road Trip', that's it! I haven't seen that one yet." -

silent_r_infork

"Road Trip would be much more interesting if he suddenly becomes immortal and Nazis are chasing them. And maybe the Nazis kill Tom Green." -

aliaspiral

"Road Trip. Which was NOT filmed at Ithaca College, we swear." -

pride4u2

"...look, can we please just stop it with the gross-out comedy?" -

dracothelizard

(A-MEN. -AL)

Correct Answer: Road Trip

2. You can’t travel this way anymore, but back in its day, some of the highlights of this path included Soda Springs, Chimney Rock, and Fort Bridger, which was actually burned down by Mormons, of all people. What was this path called?

(Number of quizlings who have died of dysentery: 32. -CV)
"I was always a doctor. Which means I always had trouble fording the river. But I never got dysentery!" -

paradoxotaur

"I call B.S. on this one. Mormons haven't discovered fire yet." -

silent_r_infork
"Further proof that Mormons destroy more than just families. Bitter? Me? Never. *scoff*" -

tempusfrangit
"Cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics!" -

elvenpiratelady

"Just trying to imagine a present-day advertising slogan for the Oregon Trail: 'Get baked in the desert, fall off a mountain, be attacked by Indians, find gold and religion!' Now, if they could include cannibals as well, it'd really be the trip of a lifetime ..." -

germankitty

"The Oregon Trail. As a side note, I can easily believe that the Mormons burned down a a fort. When you're prohibited from drinking alcohol, you don't have much else to do in the evenings. Then again, isn't that what the wives are for?" -

wllw

"And speaking of Jim Bridger, that there was a MAN, spelled M-A-N. Exploring vast tracts of land in the Olde West, he not only fought Injuns, he married a couple and had numerous kids with 'em, discovered Yellowstone, and founded I-80. That's pretty well-rounded, if you ask us." -

mark_laura

"The Kessel Run" -

chaal

"Stairway to Heaven." -

palapaloozaa

"I remember 'Chimney Rock' from when I was a kid. There was 'I'm Just a Flue', 'I Got Soot', 'Convection Junction', and 'Rufus Xavier Sarsparilla, Chimney Sweep.'" -

i_calql8

(+1, Schoolhouse Rock. -CV)

"There's a place called Soda Springs? This isn't a Coke or Pepsi theme park, is it?" -

ghostly_watcher
"Christ, I've BEEN to Soda Springs before. It's like visiting a post-apocalyptic alternate-universe Canada." -

reticent_lass

"Is Oregon Trail the game that included 'you will probably be eaten by a grue'? Because if it did, that would be AWESOME." -

thepikey

(That was Zork. -CV)

"When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axles, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you." -

kestrel127

Correct Answer: The Oregon Trail

"not to be confused with the Oregano Trail, a critical element in the spice trade" -

cygna_hime

3. Which book chronicled the adventures of John Steinbeck and his pet poodle as they drove across America?

"I'd say this book sounds awesome, except that it's John Steinbeck." -

elenlita

"This was somebody's NaNo, wasn't it?" -

reticent_lass

"On the Road, by Jack Kerouac. I know you said Steinbeck, but I can't help but giggle imagining Kerouac roadtripping with a poodle hopped up on speed." -

infinitysquared

"Love America Style" -

sestree

"Please tell me they drove in a van and solved mysteries." -

schizospider

"Travels with Harley. ... ten points if y'all get the Stephen King reference. -10 if I'm just too much of a geek." -

girl_who_is1337

"Is this the poodle CV ate?" -

syrazemyla

(Never proven. -CV)

"The sad version of Homeward Bound" -

ghostly_watcher

"In Which I Stopped at Every Rest Stop in the Country Because Snookums Has A Small Bladder." -

cmzero

"A road movie... with a poodle? A road movie? At least pick a more fun animal to road trip with." -

damanique

(Like a Tyrannosaurus rex. -AL)

"The guy wrote The Grapes of Wrath, East of Eden, and Of Mice and Men, and he had a poodle!?" -

caffeineod
"You know, I never thought Steinbeck would be a poodle kind of guy. He seems like more of a golden retriever man, or a Burmese mountain dog, maybe a black lab." -

ooyoumasha

"Of Poodles and Men?" -

crystalcazzie
"The Red Poodle? Of Poodles and Men? The Poodle of Wrath? (Actually, I like that last one. Steinbeck can't have it.)" -

elvenpiratelady

"... You mean to tell me that that ho Paris was following in the footsteps of literary merit?" -

ntlespino

(We said NO SUCH THING. -AL)

"I certainly hope the poodle took his turn to drive and let John get some shut-eye." -

csi_tokyo3

Correct Answer: Travels With Charley

4. In 1962, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey established a rail system linking Manhattan and New Jersey. What is this rail system called?

"Everyone knows that Manhattan is a walled-off maximum security prison with mined bridges. Heck, you'd need a glider of some sort to get in there." -

therealchon

(+1, Escape from New York. -CV)

"Line Trapezoid. Look, it was the sixties, they were all on drugs!" -

dracothelizard

"New Jersey is a myth. Right up there with Narnia and Middle Earth. Only, you go through the Holland Tunnel instead of a wardrobe, and it sadly has no elves." -

germankitty

"Mafia Railway! All those bodies would be great as cheap bunkers." -

elvenpiratelady

"I think LIRR sounds like some sort of mythical cat creature. Like it can talk to you and help you on quests and stuff. Sadly the reality falls far short of this." -

jrho

"I've never been East of the Missouri. We don't have 'transit' systems out here. It's wagons or nothing." -

shadow_shimmer

"The... Chunnel?" -

cmzero

(You're a few thousand miles off there... -CV)

"I take the PATH every day to get from my apartment in Brooklyn to my job in Jersey City. I am clearly doing something wrong. On the upside, I always get a seat." -

illogicalvulcan

(Perhaps... living in Jersey City might be the answer you're looking for. But, hey, seating is good too. I've stood on the PATH before, and it's a sad sad thing. -CV)

"that was about the time that New Jersey got assimilated. 'We are New York. You will be assimilated. We will add your biological, technological, and cultural distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is futile.'" -

pride4u2

"The perplexing thing is the widespread NJ habit of calling it the 'Port of Authority'. Does Authority really come in boats and need a place to dock?" -

ataralas

"Purportedly Access Trains Here" -

etcet

Correct Answer: PATH (Port Authority Trans-Hudson)

5. What man-made object (or, for the politically correct, device of human manufacture) holds the distinction of having traveled the longest distance ever?

(This question has triggered more "your mother" responses than any question before it. -CV)

"Arthur Dent and his towel." -

thepikey

"Alice Kramden, who was sent to the moon on several occasions by her husband, Ralph." -

drbear

"Tang?" -

paradoxotaur

(For the record, that's Tang the orange-ish astronaut drink. Not poontang. -CV)

"Area 51" -

sestree

"That freakin' roaming gnome." -

kokopellinelli

"Are we being politically correct here? I refuse to answer this question on the basis that I'm too fucking blunt, and I'll offend somebody." -

amorsalado

"Abraham Lincoln's hat, every time the Smithsonian goes on tour that hat has to come along. The Ruby slippers are in the running for a close second." -

killabee886

"A pinball. It doesn't go very far in each trip, but it makes lots and lots and lots of trips, especially if the game has those rail thingies." -

sskipstress

"Some horribly kitsch present that every tries to bum off to someone else. I bet that's circled the globe a few times." -

elvenpiratelady

"Man, I'm coming up blank for a good joke about a REALLY Ugly woman and a Dildo. 'It wasn't the longest distance ever, but the dildo sure thought it was'" -

writersblock_va

(Number of people who used Paris Hilton in that joke: 7. -CV)

"You're going for one of the space probes, out near Pluto. Pluto is 3660 million miles from the sun. So, the correct answer is the pyramids. They are 3000 years old and travel 940 million miles a year as the earth circles the sun. So they have traveled at least 282,000,000,000,000 miles since they were built. I hope I got the zeros right." -

antinomic

"V'ger!" -

cjtremlett and many other Trekkies
"I named my laptop Veejur. Get it? A traveling computer in search of knowledge. Hah! My wit knows no bounds!" -

lightning_rose

Correct Answer: Voyager 1

6. Tell us your favorite travel story.

"Well, I had this really cool time travel story. Then I realized that these weren't exactly the same questions." -

experiment_6462

(+1 to you for actually going back and reading our archives. Most unexpected! -AL&CV)

"I'll go with the classics and say the Odyssey, mostly because I like Odysseus. There's something to be said about a guy who thinks up a giant wooden horse as a stealth device, and makes it work." -

wllw

"Several years ago, ESPN's SportsCenter carried a highlight of a player getting called for traveling. It is believed to be the last sighting of such an event." -

etcet

"…park rangers in wildlife parks in Tanzania and Kenya are armed and licensed to kill poachers. They kick serious ass!" -

cjtremlett

"This happened to my friend when she was on a bus. She had flip-flops on, and was using an empty seat as a footrest. The guy sitting in front of her said that he'd give her fifteen dollars if he could lick her toe. She didn't go for it." -

ghostlywatcher

"When I was in Orem, Utah, I was talking to my sister about how much I loved living in sin with my (now fiance) then boyfriend in the ladies' room at Olive Garden. I actually heard three different gasps when I said, 'At least I finally found a doctor that will prescribe me birth control, because hand jobs aren't as fun as the real thing.' Oops." -

coolteamblt

"I once went on this ship to America, and it was really big. Like huge. The biggest one they had. Said it couldn't sink, too. I met this guy there who was pretty hot, but then iceberg hit and everyone died. Except some, including me. I also ended up with a really fancy necklace. Oh shit, I dropped it into the ocean! Blargh, I am ded." -

damanique

(Thank you for your rendition of "Titanic In 30 Seconds". -CV)

"Fievel is my favorite travel story. The first Feivel, not Fievel goes west." -

smokedglass7429

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel lightheaded; maybe you should drive..." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming 'Holy Jesus! What are the goddamn animals?' A savage journey to the heart of the American Dream indeed..." -

thepikey

(Thank you for another episode of "Fear and Loathing with

thepikey". -CV)

"Back when I was engaged, by fiance and I took a detour from our trip to visit Monclova, OH because he and the town had the same name. When we got there, we found very little town, but we did find a sign that said "Monclova Unincorporated" And we stood in front of it and got a stranger to take a picture of us. We were going to look for an incorporated town named Monclova after the wedding, but then we didn't get married." -

sskipstress

"We drove to Canada for booze and hookers for spring break once. It snowed on us. We never found any reasonably-priced hookers." -

woap

"We were on the French coast on our third day of visiting various sites in Brittany and Normandy, when my nephew, who was two, decided he was tired of the whole deal and uttered a quote that sums up what many think of France, no matter how good the crepes are.... 'I don't wike Fwance! Fwance is Bwoken!'" -

chaoticasylum

"Okay, this one time? My brother and I went to Vegas and stayed at the Circus Circus in the 'bargain' rooms ($36 a night!) I spent the first night there first in a horrible little bar off the Strip drinking the house drink (Ass Juice) and then at a gay bar (girl's night out!) eating rum soaked fruit. At some point, Chinese food was involved. I don't remember anything else until the drive home when my air conditioning broke. It was 115 degrees. Somewhere around the Utah border, my brother dumped an entire gallon of water on my head. He still claims it was for my own good, and also to get me to quit talking to the aliens in the backseat." -

shadowshimmer

"When I was in Prague, I, uh, almost got arrested for soliciting prostitution in a set-up between a shady cop and an opportunistic hooker." -

ataralas

"I once nearly froze to death in Chicago. That's all I remember about the city. NEARLY DYING. Thanks a lot, culturally important city." -

lots42

And so our fateful trip is done. Come back tomorrow for another episode of "As The Quiz Travels". Welcome to our many new watchers and players; remember, everyone is welcome, so go forth and tell everyone about us and stuff. Advertise!

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL