LJ Daily Answers: 12 November 2004

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"Someone's been bitten by the travel bug." - mercury32

Yes indeed. angledge is about to embark on the final leg of her journey which carried her from Scotland and will promptly end in San Francisco. What wonderments and atrocities await her on her bon voyage across this great land? We can only guess... but whatever happens, we will know that her Social Security number will be safe.

A special mention should go out to trishalynn, who managed to answer all our questions in Haiku format. Everyone say hello to this week's LJDQ Poet Laureate, trishalynn!

And now, without further ado, the answers.



1. What movie starring Seann William Scott took him on a journey that involved selling sperm, stealing a school bus from a blind lady, and leaving Tom Green behind to care for a voracious snake?

"the simple solution here seems to be to feed Tom Green to the snake. That way, everyone's a winner." - siegeofangels

"You can sell sperm?! For how much?" - vanbrosia

(Depends on how high an LJDQ score you get. -AL)

"Passion of the Christ. No, PotC didn't have Seann William Scott, but it should have. It would have certainly made that movie much cheerier." - silent_r_infork

"Dude, Where's My Plot?" - sanguinary

"RoadTrip, which officially gets my vote for second worst movie ever. The first being Freddy Got Fingered, which Tom Green is also in. Coincidence? I think not." - greenabsinthe

"I have to say that "Seann" is a really stupid name. What exactly is the point of the extra consonant? What does it do? Nothing! Nothing at all! Unless, it actually is pronounced, thus making the name "Sean-n". Which is even worse." - ladysorka

"'Biography: nihilistbear's OTHER loser ex.' Because I know how to pick 'em. Oh yes, yes I do. ::cuddles tequila bottle::" - nihilistbear

"My career peaked with American Pie and I'm going to be type-cast as Stiffler for ever." - silver_u_glass

"You know, snake tastes pretty good. He should have eaten the snake. And the blind old lady." - ataralas

(+5 to the first person who posts a good snake recipe for us. -AL)

"I remember the commercials for that. It started out in Ithaca (where I live) and they had to use a fake college because Ithaca College wanted nothing to do with a Tom Green movie. Can ya blame them?" - kenshardik

(Nope. Can't blame them one bit. -CV)

"That could only be the classic film, 'Dude, Where's My American Pie Trip'." - miss_tress

"LJDQ: The Movie" - impulsezip

(So, AL, would you like to be played by Seann William Scott or by Tom Green? -CV)
(How about I just give impulsezip a -1 for the very thought? -AL)
(Done and done! -CV)

"I am unable to answer this question as I'm currently preoccupied with attempting to work out why a blind lady has a school bus. Was she driving it and he bus-jacked it? But then why on Earth would a school let a blind lady drive a bus load of kids? Did she just own it and it was parked in front of her house and he stole it from there? But that still doesn't explain why the blind lady had a school bus." - whiski_sour

(In the spirit of meanspiritedness, I will allow you to continue pondering this mystery without actually telling you what happened in the movie. -CV)

Correct Answer: Road Trip



2. You can’t travel this way anymore, but back in its day, some of the highlights of this trail included Soda Springs, Chimney Rock, and Fort Bridger, which was actually burned down by Mormons, of all people. What was this path called?

"This is a question about America,right? No idea. Never been there - not sure it exists." - verdandiweaves

(Yup. Over here in fantasyland, we have all sorts of crazy paths and trails to take. -AL)

"I wonder how many "DUDE I LOVED THAT GAME" responses you'll get, cos I was the little dork that got shut out by the popular kids at snacktime and was never got to play OREGON TRAIL." - ataralas

(25 out of 65 of you. Color us surprised. Even more surprised at your skill levels... -AL&CV)

"My people always got sick and died." - moocow1985
"I only know that because of the video game, which wasn't so much educational as it was a great way to name characters after your friends and tell them how they died. "Sorry Jenny, you drowned when we tried to ford the river." "Ha ha, David has diptheria!"" - ktnb
"I always picked the wrong plants and poisoned everyone." - sennical
"Good times, man. While, except the games were all the characters died. Which was most of them." - nightleo
"i was never very good at it; everyone was bitten by snakes repeatedly and then got cholera." - elpblonde

"I used to play that and name all the people after my friends and acquaintances and then kill them off. Sometimes, though, they just wouldn't die so I'd have to starve them. Then I got to write their epitaphs!" - turgidnothings

(You are an evil, evil person. +1. -CV)

"burned down by Mormons? How ironic... well, not really." - allieg

"Pilgrim's Progress? well, to be technical, it would have been called a foot trail yeah? i have nfi, but chimney rock rings a bell... oh hang on, i think i'm thinking of blair witch project. which i'm sure would have involved mormons burning lesbians somewhere..." - hunterfaqboi

(Another derailed train of thought comes to its final destination. -CV)

"Soda Springs sounds interesting. But the eternal question remains: Pepsi or Coke?" - portkey

(Here's the eternal answer. A fine example of how GIS is helping us answer the really important questions. -AL)

"All I can think of is "Route 66" - and by that I mean the Depeche Mode cover of it used in "Depeche Mode 101". Oh Oliver, what happened to your mohawk?" - kenshardik

"Route 66...the Mormons found the neon gaudy." - conjurdude

"probably that one mentioned in Bruce Campbell's biography, but I don't have it with." - dracothelizard

(I'd be somewhat impressed if Bruce Campbell was old enough to have travelled this path. He's aged well. -CV)

"The Ho Chi Minh Trail" - krick

Correct Answer: The Oregon Trail

"It's really annoying that I can't drive on this beautifully scenic route anymore now that Chyrsler has bought the whole length of it for its testing grounds and to film commercials; now it's known as the Jeep Cherokee Trail." - demongrrrl

"You can still travel via the Oregon Trail if you really want to, can't you? Once everybody's Expeditions and Canyoneros eat up all the gas, we'll be reverting back to horse travel, anyway." - b7cy



3. In which Jules Verne novel do two daring adventurers manage to accomplish their assigned task in just under 1920 hours?

"Romeo and Juliet. That's the first thing that came to mind, I swear." - jelymo

(If ever anyone advises you to just "go with your gut instinct", don't. -CV)

"Can't recall if it mentions the number of hours in the book, or did you have to work it out on your fingers and toes?" - verdandiweaves

(I just like using that most dreaded of school subjects, math, to challenge our dear quizlings. Take sskipstress, for instance. -CV)

"Oh shit, it's more math. Let's see...1920 hours, 24 hours per day, that makes it...oh fuck it, get me a drink." - sskipstress

"1920 hours? I really hope that wasn't Around the World in 80 Days. They would have been way over their deadline. Oh, wait.
80 x 24 = 1920. Aren't you sneaky." - meandstuff
"Around the World in 115200 Minutes." - crostfingrs
"Around the World in 6,912,000 seconds?" - seolta

(Finally, quizlings who understand the fine and delicate art of multiplication. -CV)

"i wanna say, journey to the center of the earth, but more than likly it'd be around the world in 80 days, cause that would actually make sense and stuff." - kira_snugz

"They should've borrowed that submarine from 20,000 leagues instead of messing around with a balloon." - dracothelizard

(They didn't have crossover novels back in Jules Verne's day. -CV)

"They made it into a movie, and God, that movie sucked too. Why do my friends make me watch bad movies?" - ccaretta

(Because your friends hate you. And because they have bad taste in movies. But probably more of the first one. -CV)

"around the world in eighty days, which inspired a truly abhorrent tv series called the adventures of jules verne. my mother used to watch it, but, then again, she enjoys andromeda with kevin sorbo." - elpblonde

(For a different opinion on said tv series... -CV)

"Sadly, the book did not include Rebecca Fogg of "The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne" non-fame. Very unfortunate, as she gave us the immortal line "I'm going to stick out like a whore in a convent.", and wore weird green leathery... stuff."
- ladysorka

(I have to go with ladysorka on this one. -CV)

"While I do know the answer to this one, I refuse to answer on the grounds that, apart from "The Time Machine", I think all of Verne's novels are crap." - beansidhe

(Which, by definition, means that all Verne's novels are crap, since "The Time Machine" was written by H.G.Wells. -CV)

"Journey to the Center of the World's Largest Bavarian Creme Eclair! .. oooh, now I'm hungry..." - eibii

(Dammit, now we're hungry too. -1 for inciting hunger. -AL&CV)

""Around the World in 80 Days," subtitled, "Would Somebody PLEASE Tell Us Where We Are?" (sub-subtitled, "Why Won't You Stop and Ask For Directions? Would It Kill You?")" - demongrrrl

"the answer is probably 'Around the World in 80 days' but I don't care cause Indiana Jones coulda done it in a week." - mercury32

Correct Answer: "Around the World in 80 Days"



4. The longest railroad in the world runs almost 6,000 miles from Moscow to Vladivostok. What is it called?

"No one knows anymore. Who would ever want to leave Moscow, garden paradise that it is?" - perkyczarlet

"What's with this geography? What, do you really think we paid attention in 7th grade geography?" - moocow1985

(No, we don't. That's what makes this so funny. -CV)

"Railroadski of Death." - thinksheknowsya

"Taggart Transcontinental, if Ayn Rand has anything to say about it. HA, YOU CAPITALIST PIG! THE COMMIES WON!" - kleenexwoman

"The "Vodka Express", known for its hospitality, good cheer and alcohol poisoning. You can drink A LOT of vodka in 6,000 miles. God bless Russia." - nihilistbear

"The Hercule-Poirot-Saves-The-Day-With-His-Scary-Scary-Moustache-While-Sean-Connery-Scottishes-In-The-Background Express." - eibii

(Nope, that was the other one. -CV)

"The Orient Express (which I know is wrong, but is the only railroad I can think of. Except the Monopoly ones, which are even more wrong.)" - silk_knickers

"It was either the Orient Express or the Little Engine That Could - I get them confused." - vagablonde

"The Trans-Siberian Railway. I did not look this up, I swear. I just read National Geographic when I am bored." - yueni

(You need more hobbies. -CV)

"True story: I know a woman who took a trip on the Trans-Siberian Railway because she wanted to lose weight and she thought it would be more interesting than just going to another spa. (Did I mention that she had more dollars than sense?) She wound up gaining weight." - demongrrrl

(That must explain the plethora of large Russian women we always see. -CV)

"I'm an East Asian Studies Major. I don't do Russia, sorry." - rhiannon3j

(This railroad ends on the Eastern shore of the Asian continent. Look it up! -AL)

"Vladivostok is fun to say. Vlaaadivostok. Vladivostokkk. Vladivostok. Vladi-vladi-vladivostok." - ladysorka

"The Trans-Siberian Railroad. Or is it the Trans-Siberian Orchestra?" - ccaretta

"VishIdgotttabookski" - spiffington

(Probably you vish you had several. Also a blanket or two. Siberia is chilly, I hear. -AL)

"Russian is a hard
Language to render in haiku--
Shit! I fucked that up." - trishalynn

"Trans Siberian 'stay under the duvet and shag all the way' Railway" - seolta

(Note to self: Ride more trains with seolta. -CV)

"In Soviet Russia, railroad runs YOU!!!!!" - kaptainsarcasm, fantom07

Correct Answer: The Trans-Siberian Railroad

"The Transylvania Express -- or, as Dracula likes to call it, Meals on Wheels." - jelymo

"Y'know, you could probably use the trip to sample every single type of vodka Russia has ever produced. Cause it'd take that long and you wouldn't feel the cold so much." - mercury32



5. What man-made object (or, for the politically correct, device of human manufacture) holds the distinction of having traveled the longest distance ever?

"Well, I'm man made, and I've been 'around the block' more than a few times." - xgreenjudasx

"After reading last week's LJDQ answers, I am convinced that the man-made object that has travelled the longest distance ever is J-Lo's buttplug." - sskipstress

"(Probe. Heh.)" - moocow1985

(This answer did not surprise us. We are surprised, in fact, that we only got one answer like this. -AL)

"Stifler's mom, tying in nicely with question #1" - conjurdude

"The Orient Express. Or since we're being politically correct here - The Asian Express." - notevenu

"The Death Star. Stormtroopers are people too, and a galaxy far, far away is really far, you know." - ktnb

"it would be more entertaining if the correct answer was actually some type of sex toy. Everything is better with a vibrator. Or zombies." - whiski_sour

"Duracell Bunny, it just keeps going and going and going and going..." - spiffington

(I do believe he was the Energizer Bunny. But let's give you another chance... -CV)

"No seriously it's gotta be a mileometer, otherwise how would they know how far it had travelled?" - spiffington

(Oh spiffington, how do you do it? -CV)

"One day in spring last year, i went shopping in the Charity shops down in Leith. There i happened upon a fabulous purple cardigan which i bought for two or three quid and wore regularly. A month or two later, one of the teachers at the yoga centre asked me where i got my cardi from. I told her and she said thought so. She had lived in Boulder, Colorado for a time where there was a kind of swap basket of unwanted clothes where she had originally picked out this cardi. After a wee while she tried to pass it on to a friend when she was done with it, but a few months later the friend returned it. Then Janice took it to India to use as a jacket for 6 months. When she was leaving she left some clothes behind for another friend to deal with one pile to pass to charity and one pile to send to the UK. The cardi was in the charity pile but when the friend saw that he thought she had made a mistake and sent it on to Manchester and janice then brought it to Edinburgh and thus to Leith and me, whereupon i turn up at her home wearing it." - seolta

(+1 to the purple cardigan. -CV)

"Apollo 13. Honestly. What were they thinking having an Apollo 13? They were asking for trouble. I mean, if buildings skip the 13th floor, why didn't NASA skip an Apollo 13? Imbeciles." - turgidnothings

(We did discuss the merits of Apollo 13's poor choice of nomenclature here. -CV)

"Ang's toothbrush" - impulsezip

(Only if she had a mouth like Julia Roberts. -CV)

"Some space probe or other. I think it was named the Anal Probe 14. Oh, wait, no, that was just a really bad dream." - plaidwater

"John Bobbit's Mini-John. Okay, it was all relative. To John. Frankly, if my Mini-John was just centimeters away from where it was supposed to be, it'd be pretty DAMN far away..." - lots42

(Full credit. -CV)

"The luggage that was supposed to shipped to Trinidad with me, and somehow got rerouted through Heathrow, Melbourne, Honk Kong, Bermuda and Venezuela. By the time it got to Port Of Spain, I was leaving. God, I hate American Airlines." - nihilistbear

"I'm betting it was a party balloon filled with helium. Man those fuckers can fly." - mercury32

"The pill I tried to get my cat to swallow this morning. It's quickly catching up to Pioneer 10." - demongrrrl

"V'ger. The star of Star Trek: The Motion picture, with the bad jump-suits, the no plot, and the horrible-ness. Though, you know, anything with Spock can't be all bad. Except Star Trek V. That was all bad. Especially the singing. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad." - ladysorka
"The Starship Enterprise. It must have travelled pretty far for Kirk to outdistance his reputation and get the babe on every new planet. Sure - I'll - be faithful - baby." - chrysoberyl
"Voyager 1 space probe, not to be confused with the Federation Starship Voyager, which also traveled a very long way but is exempt from this question due to being built by highly trained weasels. Not being real rules it out a little too, but mostly the weasels." - silver_u_glass

(All the essence of Star Trek boiled down into three easy paragraphs. -CV)

"That space probe, wasn't it? Voyager, or Pioneer, or something? The one with the naked people and the hydrogen atom on it. I'm a bad nerd for not knowing." - kleenexwoman

"Obviously it's the satellite we so foolishly launched out into the universe with the map of how to get here and the complete diagram of a human being so that the aliens would know exactly what they can sell on the Intergalactic Black Market when they get here." - vagablonde

(In retrospect, that may not have been such a great plan, huh? -AL)

Correct Answer: Voyager 1

"At first I read that as 'having the longest distance' and was going to say the Great Wall of China. Considering your actual question, I'm going to still say the Great Wall. The earth moves around the sun, which moves around the galaxy, which moves away from all the other galaxies. So on that scale, pretty much everything humans have created is less than microscopic (we're talking on the order of angstroms (10^-9, I believe)), and therefore can be said to have moved the same distance. Alternately, the Great Wall has been around significantly longer than any of the rockets that have been launched, and has traveled a greater distance through space, albeit while still attached to the earth." - calankh

(Your logic has certain merits. The Geek of the Week award has certain demerits, of which -1 is just one. -CV)



6. Tell us your favorite travel story.

"My first holiday to Queensland (Australia) with my family when I was 6. I went into the surf and got a fishing hook stuck in my foot. (It went through my entire foot. Like, it entered the sole under my pinkie toe and came out the top). Then, when my family were nursing me at the Lifeguards tent, a big wave came and collected all our stuff." - allieg

"It involved a cigar box full of peeps, half a dozen tigers, a large SUV, and the cousin from my first answer and my lawyer has advised me not to say more." - plaidwater

(The best way to write great LJDQ answers is to ignore any & all legal advice from fainthearted lawyers. -AL)

"Me on a Segway with an ice cream cone in each hand. And that's all I'm gonna say." - crostfingrs

"My personal favorite happened when I was on a road trip from my home town in CA to my college in WI. With me were my two friends from college. We had a huge road trip planned, and part of it was to go through Yellow Stone. Well, I had driven all day through the park, and by the afternoon I decided to go in the back of the van and take a nap. When I woke up, we were just outside of Yellow Stone. I look out my window and see these big black lumbering objects. One of my roommates, Sarah, really wanted to see bears. The whole time it was 'When are we going to see bears?!?!?!' So I see these objects and hey - they're big and black in the woods so I tell Alli, who's driving 'Hey, I think there were bears back there!' Alli stops the car in the middle of a country highway, does a three point turn in the middle of the road and goes back. Sarah is now leaning out of the car window, camera ready to take a picture. Soon we get to the 'bears' and Alli shouts back to me.

'Meg honey...those are cows...'" - fantom07

(Now WAIT A MINUTE. You were going to college in WISCONSIN & you're trying to tell us you couldn't recognize a COW?! I call shennanigans. -1. -AL)

"When I was in Eastern Europe this summer, some members of the group I was with (it was a class. happy liberal arts education) decided it would be fun to drink Absinthe and Cannibis Vodka on the overnight train from Prague to Warsaw. I didn't have the heart to tell them that whatever compound made Absinthe nasty (some type of wormwood extract?) was no longer included in the drink. Because otherwise they would have hallucinated a whole lot more green fairies." - calankh

(You know, I can't swear to it, but I do believe that real, honest-to-greenfairyness absinthe with wormwood is still sold in some parts of Europe. -AL)

"One time, when I was on a 'ghost tour' of Dublin, the tour guide/actor tried to feel me up. His character was supposed to be 'blind' and he needed someone to lead him around. Fortunately, he was extremely hot and had a gorgeous accent. Otherwise he might have ended up missing a few important bits." - greenabsinthe

(Public Service Announcement to all our Irish/British/Australian/New Zealander Quizlings: we Americans ADORE your accents. You should all come over & visit, because you will pull as you have never pulled before. -AL)

"I'm always fond of how I got off the plane in Hong Kong and had AK-47s pointed at my face. Of course, that happens to everyone that lands in Hong Kong. They're not very welcoming. No leis in Hong Kong. Just people with guns. Much more realistic." - ladysorka

(Thanks for that information ...

ANG'S LIST OF PLACES TO VISIT:

Hong Kong

-AL)

"My favorite travel story is hard to explain. So I'd like to answer this question in mime. http://pics.livejournal.com/impulsezip/pic/00004hty/" - impulsezip

(Cool pics! -AL)

"There was that time when Terence and I drove to DC in January, and since it was 45 degrees in Ithaca, we decided we didn't need real coats. Then we got down there, and there was a horrible cold snap happening, and the heat was off in the building where we were staying. Within 15 minutes of arrival, somebody smashed out a window in Terence's car and stole his camera (meaning somewhere, somebody has one picture of me and Terence standing at the entrance of Hershey Park). So we had to get up at 7 a.m. the next morning to go to the one place in town that was open and available to replace the window In the meantime, we got to drive it around with a -75 degree windchill blowing in our faces. Then we went to The Mall to walk around the monuments, but it was so cold that we returned to the car screaming, afraid our ears and noses were going to break off. Then we drove all the way back to Ithaca. In total, the trip down and back lasted roughly 36 hours. And it was the best...trip...ever." - b7cy

(I'm shivering just reading this. -AL)

"Go out and buy Weird Al Yankovic's "UHF". Not the movie, the album. CD. Cassette. LP. I don't know, I don't care. Buy it. Skip to 'The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota'. Listen to it repeatedly for about three days. Mind-altering chemicals help this process greatly. Then, drink a 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew and spin around until you fall over and have visions. My own ambulance trip to the hospital after similar events is not something to be *told*, but *experienced*. *solemn nod*" - eibii

"I have no great travel stories. Once we paid for the next 10 cars at a toll booth, but that's about it." - richcigs

(Well, you earned some good travel karma at least. -AL)

"Trust me, you don't want to know what happens to me with I travel. It's always bed. I mean bad." - notevenu

"On a school trip when I was 15, we passed the time by seeing who could get the most clothespins on their face at one time." - moocow1985

"I learned while checking
In that handcuffs were okay
For carry-on. Neat!" - trishalynn

"When I was four, my parents and I went to Australia, and at this time you could climb Ayres Rock (which now has been returned to the Aborigines and has some other name, Uruu or the like.) and while we were climbing, we stopped to have snack, and I lost my first tooth. And then I found five dollars. And my pants fell down." - atarlas

(Wow, the Australian Tooth Fairy pays five bucks a tooth? Wish I'd known that when I was a kid. I would've airmailed her all of my baby teeth. -AL)

(Too bad about the pants thing though. I sympathize. -CV)

"Now, considering that I haven't gotten a single question right so far, Why, why, WHY do you expect me to have an answer here?" - purple_roses

(My dear sweet purple_roses, the whole point of the last question is that everyone gets a chance to write something! ... Actually, that's the whole point of the LJDQ. Stop sweating the right answers stuff already! Free-associate! -AL)

"Well, there was that time I sold my sperm, stole a school bus from a blind lady, and left Tom Green to care for a voracious snake. " - ashfault76

(Next time, leave the voracious snake to "care for" Tom Green. -AL)

"Favorite or the worst? Favorite would be the time we found this goose on a pit stop that would swallow grapes whole. You could see them sliding down its throat. Most disgusting thing ever. Worst would be the gum incident. Of which we will not speak. Ever." - meandstuff

(Tease. -1. -AL)

(Lots of good stories from church youth group trips:)

"One time, on a mission trip, our trailer broke and everyone's luggage started to fall out on the road. We had to pull over and wander around the interstate, picking up everyone's clothing. I remember one of my friends standing in the median yelling "Whose are these?!" while waving a pair of granny panties over his head. No one claimed them, but I'm sure the truckers passing us got a good laugh." - ccaretta

"Once, while traveling to a church youth retreat with my parents, our car broke down in Montgomery. We went to the local mall while some mechanics fixed our car, and had lunch in the food court. As I finished my pizza, a guy landed on my table. We quickly realized he was involved in an honest-to-God fistfight with his wife, who'd slugged him and knocked him into my table. We watched them brawl for a minute until the security and actual cops arrested the guy for assault. The guy, not the woman. As the woman followed them to the cop car, she grabbed a broom from a janitor's cart and broke it over her husband's head.

It's hard to pray when the THWACK! sound effect is still fresh in your mind." - silent_r_infork

(Probably the only prayer that comes to mind is "Please God don't let her get angry with me ..." -AL)

"Just after I graduated from high school, I went to a Christian youth convention in Dallas, TX with members of my church's youth group. (y'all can stop laughing now) The event was advertised as being for 'older youth' so my church, never having participated in these things before, sent 2 recent HS graduates (me and my boyfriend), 2 high school seniors (two rather desperate guys), and 2 fairly mature Jr. High students (two very prissy girls), and 2 chaperones (the assistant minister and one of the youth group advisors). When we got there, we found out that in Jesus-freak convention speak, 'older youth' means about 12. My boyfriend and I were as old as the chaperones, and those 2 seniors looked old enough to be chaperones, too. Our female chaperone crashed out around 8, and our male chaperone trusted all of us implicitly. And he should, because none of us ever got caught at anything we did." - sskipstress

(And finally, this last story is definitely our winner. Or perhaps our loser. All I know is, I don't care where she's going, I'm never, ever traveling with beansidhe. Ever. -AL)

"I went to Amsterdam this summer. I had a great time. However, on the last day i was there, Helen (my room mate at the hostel I stayed at) and I wanted to go check out this fountain in The Jordaan where, supposedly, if you stood in it you got a wish. Before we left the hostel, though, we decided to get some errands done while we were out. So we took a third bag and threw some things in it. Then we went through our bags and ordered it so stuff we were going to be using a little (as opposed to not at all or a great deal) and the stuff we would need in a hurry into the third bag, which Helen was carrying. She set the bag down right next to her ankle for just a second, we heard someone yell, we looked around and some guy had run off with our stuff.

I went with Helen to her embassy to try and get her another passport, but I had to leave to get all my stuff out of the hostel, because I was due to leave that day and had no money to pay for another night. I borrowed train-fare from Max (a German we had met days earlier) but ended up missing the last train, anyway. So I napped in the train station until morning. I was about two days ahead of schedule, so when I got to Paris I fought with the airline until they got me on a flight to the US. It ended (eventually) in Pittsburgh instead of Cincinnati, so I had to give my sob-story to the lady at the Greyhound bus station in order to get home. She allowed me to trade my Cincinnati-to-Columbus express ticket for a Pittsburgh-to-Columbus local ticket. Which means every forty minits or so the bus would stop, the driver would flip on the lights and yell 'Podunk' or whatever the name of the tiny hamlet we had pulled up to was.

About an hour into the trip, a woman gets on the bus, stinking of booze. The seat next to me was the only one open, so she wedged herself in there, curled into the fetal position with her hindquarters pressed against my thigh, and passed out. About twenty minits after that, she peed on me. All over my right leg. And I had no other jeans to change into, because that's one of the things that was stolen.

So she was put off the bus. An hour after that, two guys hopped-up on something got on and were being really loud and rude and disrespectful and such. The bus driver told them to keep it civil or he would put them off the bus. When we were almost through West Virginia, they decided they wanted to exit. It was about a mile from their intended stop, but they didn't want to walk it. They started shouting up to the front: 'driver's a faggot' and other really rude stuff in an attempt to get off the bus where they wanted to be put off. Driver was wise to the plan, I guess, because he flipped on the lights but kept going until we got to the station. The guys got off the bus and spit on the driver on the way out. Driver followed them off the bus and told them to grab their bags and leave the property, or he would call the cops. So one of the kids pulls a knife on the driver. The driver takes the knife away from the kid, the kid lunges at the driver, and the driver stabs the kid. Chaos ensues.

The cops show up along with an ambulance. Also with the cops, was 'COPS'. I shit thee not. The t.v. show, 'COPS'. So I'm huddled down in my seat, tired and pissed off and pissed on and penniless, trying to avoid being on white-trash t.v., when a girl two seats in front of me makes this noise that sounded like a combination of a yawn and a scream, and goes into a massive seizure. They cart her off, and, three hours late, I hit Columbus. I had to drag myself into work to pick up my paycheck just so I could pay a cabbie to get home." - beansidhe

(This tale defies description. I give you a +2, out of pity for getting pissed on. -CV)


And there you have it, folks! Our travelicious quiz is at an end, and with it, angledge's long sojourn westward to the land of opportunity. Or California, whatever you want to call it. Wish her well in her endeavours, and most of all, wish her a happy return to the internet, so that we can continue to bring you this wonderment known as LJDQ. Besides which, it's much easier with her help. And I'm lazy.

Rock On!

Ang & Hans

Comments

[newbia.livejournal.com]

Wow.

Sucks to be beansidhe.

[kaptainsarcasm.livejournal.com]

I second that shit times a MILLION.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I agree. I thought I had it bad when I ended up at some Louisian backwoods truckstop, where Angry Woman made my Subway sub with no gloves. I didn't say anything because I feared her.

[nihilistbear.livejournal.com]

Yeah, really sucks to be her. And I thought my luggage getting rerouted through half the fucking planet was bad.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Star Trek: The Motionless Picture

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Very closely related to 2001: A Space Unodyssey.

[fantom07.livejournal.com]

The story about the "moo-bears" is 100% accurate. We had woken up at 6am that day and I had been doing ALL the driving. I don't know if you've ever driven through yellow stone, but it is WHITE KNUKLE driving. Why? Because everybody and their brother pulls over to the side of the road so they can take pictures of squirrels in front of gysers. It SUCKS. Along about the petrified tree, I went to take my nap, so when I saw the "bears" I had just woken up and was feeling almost dead.

Believe me, I have NEVER heard the end of the "moo bear" story, but it is my favorite to tell :)

[jacesan.livejournal.com]

Now a squirrel caught in a geyser, and shot up into the air would be worth taking a picture of. :)

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I second that. That would be the picture to end all pictures.

[ataralas.livejournal.com]

Recipe:

Buy snake at store. It either comes in long strips, or little rounds.
Buy assorted vegetables. (Peppers, onions, and carrots are good)
Salt and pepper snake. Heavily.
Kebab vegetables and snake.
Cook on low grill for ~7-10 minutes.
Voila, snake kebab.

Or

Make breading out of 5 parts bread crumbs, 1/2 part salt, 1 part pepper. Beat an egg with a splash of milk. Dip snake in egg mix. Bread. Fry in hot oil, turning every 45 seconds for 4-5 minutes. Voila, Snake Nuggets.

It should bother me that I've done this. Somehow, it doesn't.

[sskipstress.livejournal.com]

I prefer the breaded and fried snake. Served with baked beans.

[ataralas.livejournal.com]

I rather like snake and chips, myself. :)

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmm... snake nuggets. The hunger is upon me!

[ataralas.livejournal.com]

Go forth and eat! ;)

[toutetrien.livejournal.com]

"The Transylvania Express -- or, as Dracula likes to call it, Meals on Wheels."

hehe. Ah cheap laughs

"When I was four, my parents and I went to Australia, and at this time you could climb Ayres Rock (which now has been returned to the Aborigines and has some other name, Uruu or the like.) and while we were climbing, we stopped to have snack, and I lost my first tooth. And then I found five dollars. And my pants fell down."

Its called Uluru now... you were close.
I dont get it.. did your tooth hold your pants up?

[sskipstress.livejournal.com]

I'm impressed at how many of our travel stories involved youth groups.

[sskipstress.livejournal.com]

By the time I graduated from high school I spent more time at church events than I spent at home. I know the hilarity involved in youth group functions. The catechetics retreat with Jason and the Amazing Flying Fuck, the car wash where none of the adults could drive stick so I got to drive the mercedes and thunderbirds, the lock-in where we tied each other up with string - one yard for each sin for the last week.

It was unusual for kids in my jr/sr high school to be involved in church activites, and I was one of the very few among my college friends to have spent so much time doing church activities, so I was suprised at how many of this week's LJDQ answers invovled youth group.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I suppose I didn't mention my youth group story when I was in Portugal and almost A) kidnapped by gypsies, B) mauled by a dog, and C) trapped in a cave that was not really for exploration. I guess these things happen when you're 14 and insane.

Nor did I mention my work travel stories, like when our official delegation accidentally found Geneva's red light district. Now that was comedy.

[sskipstress.livejournal.com]

Just after I learned how to read, my mom, aunt, cousins, and I went to Boston. My aunt was navigating and got us lost. And I read every sign we drove past: "Live Nude Girls," "Peep Show," "XXX," "Real Live Girls," "Exotic Dancing"

[impulsezip.livejournal.com]

Did you know you can sell sperm on ebay?

Hello, this week's LJDQ Poet Laureate, trishalynn!

>“thus making the name "Sean-n". Which is even worse." – ladysorka
I used to have two coworkers Tom and Tomm and, yes, I called Tomm, Tom-m.

A good snake recipe:

1. Fill yer shotgun shells with rosemary, pepper, ginger, and Mrs. Dash.
2. Pick out a nest of rattlers from the back 40 and start blasting.
3. When the remaining snakes start sneezing from the pepper, light a bag of mesquite chips and throw it on the nest.
4. When the hissing and popping stops, dig in.

>(Cool pics! -AL)
Thanks! I’m starting to move my uk-trip-photo-journal-thing to LJ. I posted the first part a couple days back if you’re looking for more more more!

beansidhe, if you had two ice cream cones and a Segway in your bag, I think I know who swiped it..

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

Hiya! Writing those haiku was a bitch. I wish I'd saved them, though. I can't remember all the ones I wrote.

[impulsezip.livejournal.com]

Hi! I can't help you find your lost poems but I can give you poems that you'd like to lose...

Bad Poetry, by Funkmaster IZ
http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=impulsezip&keyword=bad+poetry&filter=own

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

They should still be there on the question page; we haven't deleted them.

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thanks for reminding me where they were, and this particular gem:

"Traveling" is the theme
Or maybe it's "adventure"
A Rhodes scholar, I'm not.

I love sneaking puns by people.

[blunder-buss.livejournal.com]

Best Snake Recipie -

Snow Snake Cocktail

Ingrediants:
1 oz Kahlua Coffee Liqueur
1 oz Yukon Jack
1 oz Tequila
4 oz Half-and-Half
Fill with Ice

Directions:
Larger glass can be used if more cream or milk is needed to soften the impact of the drink.
Serve in high ball glass.

What? It's a snake.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I'll mix one up this weekend and get back to you on how much credit you deserve. ;)

[blunder-buss.livejournal.com]

Whoo hoo! :D

[marasca.livejournal.com]

(You know, I can't swear to it, but I do believe that real, honest-to-greenfairyness absinthe with wormwood is still sold in some parts of Europe. -AL)

Indeed it is, I have a friend who smuggled some out of Barcelona and fed it to me. Surprisingly, it tasted better than the expensive fake stuff they sell in the U.S. now. No green fairies for me though. *sigh* Where's Kylie Minogue when you need her?

(occasionally crazy SCAdians make it the proper way too. Shhh!)

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

What is it about Kylie Minogue and absinthe fairies? A friend was telling me a tale about such things but I couldn't remember whether it was something he had seen / read or something he had experienced...

Come to think of it, he probably couldn't tell either!

[marasca.livejournal.com]

In Moulin Rouge, Kylie plays the green fairy that the characters hallucinate.

[yueni]

I'll have you know that I have tons of hobbies, including reading the encyclopaedia, the dictionary and the thesaurus. For fun.

[nihilistbear.livejournal.com]

Reading the dictionary and the encyclopedia is fun! You can never have too much information!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Bah. It's only cool if you can read them at the same time.

[nihilistbear.livejournal.com]

don't you kind of have to? I mean with all the big words in encyclopedias, you end up runnign for the dictionary,a nd then you get all caught up in the dictionary and the enxt thing you know it's six AM!

Okay, so I was a dork. So sue me.

[portkey.livejournal.com]

"I learned while checking
In that handcuffs were okay
For carry-on. Neat!" - trishalynn

That is the greatest haiku ever created.

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

The trip was pre-9/11 mind you. I don't know if they're okay for carry-on now. And I really don't feel like testing out the theory.

The best part was when the elderly security guy was trying to appeal to his equal-in-age partner on the legality of handcuffs in your carry-on.

[calankh.livejournal.com]

geek of the week! (as though i didn't write that paragraph with that intention...) :D

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Geeks are dreadfully predictable in their patterns, this is true. ;)