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[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

The theme of the day is shapes. Why shapes? Because we can.

1. Which Chuck Norris film features the line "Can I do it? Can I kill my brother?"

"In the old days, if you had to pee, you peed on a tree - with no 'may' or 'can'. That's progress." - lusciousmango

"I'm imagining that line being delivered by a little child, jumping up and down with excitement at the thought of being allowed to commit fratricide." - crystalcazzie
"'Can I do it? Can I kill my brother? Mom, can I?'
'Clean your room first and we'll talk.'" - rhitsqueaky

(No one should be surprised at the fact that over 75% of you responded with Chuck Norris facts. Even we're not surprised. To save on time and space, here's a link to Chuck's Top 100. In the interests of fairness and equality, here's Vin Diesel as well. Share and enjoy. -AL&CV)

"Dude! I met Chuck Norris at Target! It was cool. He was buying Star Wars." - jedimartini

(If this is true, then you get a +1 for a Chuck Norris fact that is actually a fact. -CV)

"Damn you, LJDQ! Damn you! I'm imagining Chuck Norris singing 'Dance Ten, Looks Three.' My brain is bleeding and I have an earworm. Send gin and Bangles ASAP." - sskipstress

(This is absolutely not our fault. No way. -AL&CV)

"Citizen Kane and Abel." - drbear
"Cain Meets Abel 3: This Time It's Really Personal" - trishalynn

"Walker, Hex-as Ranger" - lazy_alex
"Christopher Walken, Texas Ranger" - vyseryn

"Oedipus Norris?" - kimpire

(I said brother, not father. -CV)

"I've never willingly watched a Chuck Norris film. The only way you could get me to watch one of those is if you re-enacted a particular scene from A Clockwork Orange. ...Which I have seen." - cheezdanish

(...you mean the scene where Alex [played by Chuck Norris] kills the Cat Lady [also played by Chuck Norris] with a giant penis sculpture [1:1 replica of Chuck Norris's penis]? -CV)

"Any Chuck Norris movie not called Lone Wolf McQuade doesn't exist in my world.. Every movie ever needs a scene of a supercharged ford bronco exploding from the earth.. Can you imagine how much cooler Terms of Endearment would have been with that scene in it?" - tarpo

"Was that one of the morals in Karate Kommando? 'Remember kids, even YOU can kill your brother!'" - woap

"Octagon, the box with many-tentacled arms." - etumukutenyak

"[whisper][echo]The Octagon.[/echo][/whisper]" - utforsker

(+1 for remembering the commercial. -CV)

Correct Answer: The Octagon



2. What object is used metonymically to refer to the U.S. Department of Defense?

"Metonymically... that's not even a word!" - dracothelizard

(Sure it is. Would we lie to you? -AL&CV)

"Does it have something to do with metronomes?" - lyme
"I read metronome and pictured all these little army types marching to a different beat." - csflick

(No urban gnomes were harmed during the writing of this question. -CV)

"A metonym is two kinds of meat that look alike but are spelled differently." - ophelialaughs

(Like Ham and Spam. -CV)

(Spam is NOT meat. -AL)

"I don't even know if my country HAS a department of defence, let alone its nickname?" - lizzyrose89

(Please tell me what country you're from. I plan on invading it shortly, if it lacks a DoD. -CV)

"If it was a bottle of Southern Comfort, EVERYTHING would be different. And I'm not just saying that because I'm suckling one at this very minute." - ihateusernames

"Those little plastic army men you step on at three in the morning at the top of the stairs and wake the whole house with your cursing. Is that one object or like, twenty?" - kysen

"A great, big screw. Oh, no, wait...that represents the IRS." - mezzolibra

"Ahh, the US Department of Defense, the inventor of the Donut defense. You know, the one with the big hole in the middle." - umbralcorax

(Actually, the hole's in the side. -CV)

"it's the Department of Defense. Whatever object is used to refer to it is almost certainly phallic." - punk_rock_nerd

(I'm going to have to say it's more yonical than phallic. -CV)

"$" - wuwt

(Full credit. -CV)

"is it just me or does the USDOD's seal look like an eagle wearing a cunningly fashioned boob tube made out of the American flag?" - heyorion

"Pentacle" - kittikattie
(Days later...)
"Holy...I said pentacle. I mean Pentagram." - kittikattie

(Want to go for double jeopardy where the scores can really change? -CV)

"See that triangle-shaped octagon over there? That's the Pentagon." - syrazemyla

"I learned about pentagons by reading a book where this kid got trapped in a computer and his sister did guided meditation to go in and save him and she blew a circut by running a pentacle instead of a pentagon, and her brother got out." - chrysoberyl

(And this is why Oprah has a Book-of-the-Month club and you don't. -CV)

"Pentagon, an ancient indian word for 'world's largest parking lot', which is not to be confused with the LIE, as that only acts like a parking lot." - etumukutenyak

"Not to be confused with the Pantagon, the US Department of Exotic Dancers." - silk_knickers

Correct Answer: The Pentagon

"The Pentagon. Weird looking building. Four walls and a spare." - M*A*S*H, as cited by 17 of you



3. The Gate of Heavenly Peace separates the Forbidden city from which plaza?

"So there's a 'Gate of Heavenly Peace' that's involved in 'entering the Forbidden City'? With this much sexual innuendo, you'd think you were in Bangcock." - caffeineod

"I misread plaza as pizza. I would hate to be separated from pizza." - lyme
"I'm going to guess anchovy." - nekoama

"The Plaza of Wonderfulness. Full of fluffy white clouds ready for you to just roll up in them for a nap, pink fuzzy bunnies that dont bite, cotton candy, and cream cheese." - ooyoumasha
"The plaza of 7-11 of course!!! There's a reason we thank heaven... yes, 7-11 is THAT COOL!!!" - ryoske_kt

(Kids? You need to cut back on the drugs a little. -AL)

"I've figured out the theme! Now, if only I knew anything about anything." - das_kabinett

"The Parallelogram Plaza, best known for keeping the Forbidden City exactly parallel to the Easy Access Counsel." - aliaspiral

"

For readers of the LJDQ in China, I'm sorry, this image has been replaced with the following:



Thank you." - photosinensis

"When I was little I was convinced it was Cinamin Square and I thought it was the coolest place ever!" - cortie

"Tiannenmen square. May Mao run me over with a tank if I'm wrong." - utforsker
"My fiancee's been there. She said there weren't nearly as many tanks as in the pictures I'd seen." - filmbuff

Correct Answer: Tian'anmen Square



4. Who strongly dislikes, engaged in conflict with, and ultimately defeats Particle Man?

"Participle Man. His enemy should have left him to die when he was just dangling there." - captainsblog

"Sub-particle man. He had an inferiority complex." - vanbrosia

"Wave Man, his twin brother. They end up killing each other and then collapse, thanks to how they function." - scifantasy, speaking for many
"It was a sordid battle over which of them was more closely related to, and thus deserved custody of, Lightgirl. Results still uncertain." - cygna_hime

"Antiparticle Man. A bit of a pyrrhic victory, that." - silk_knickers, b_hulsmans, kimpire

"John Wayne, because he has True Grit instead of mere particles." - ophelialaughs

"I think it must have been Home Depot Man! He just drew his saber saw and slashed old Particle Man to bits or was he already in bits and he just had to sweep him into the dumpster?" - csflick

"The Ionic Breeze, teamed with his trusty sidekick, Hepa Filter Lad!" - barbarienne

"If Triangle Man liked to climbed mountains, would that make him a Scalar?" - mcrunner03

"Triangle Man always struck me as a bully. He keeps picking on the weaklings: Particle Man's the size of a speck, and Person Man lives in the garbage for crying out loud. If Triangle really wanted to prove himself, he'd take on Universe Man, who is both bigger than him and has a really awesome watch." - cmzero
"And come ON Universe Man, if you're usually so kind to the smaller man, get out there and kick Triangle Man's ASS!" - spyderqueen

(Lots of Quizlings covet Universe Man's watch. -AL)

"Curse you, now I have that song stuck in my head! TEAR UP THE FLOORBOARDS!!! Tis the beating of his hideous triangular heart!!!" - woap

(+1, Edgar Allan Poe. -AL)

"I translated that song into Spanish for an extra-credit Spanish II project, and my teacher said it didn't make any more sense in English than it did Spanish." - bigredcandle

"Particle Man = Man of Particles = Particles = Science. Hater and Foe of Science = George W. Bush." - uncut_diamond

(Excellent logic. -AL)

(So of course you arrived at the wrong answer. -CV)

"Triangle Man has to be the lamest superhero (or, I suppose, supervillain) name ever. 'I shall defeat you with the power of... the number 3! For I have three sides! And my internal angles shall add up to 180 degrees! And... and that's really it for triangles...'" - lazy_alex

"Square.. no... circle? Bah... not an X-Man... oh! Triangle man, yes? Thank you, Playstation controller!" - lightmagician

Correct Answer: Triangle Man

"This question raises an important issue: In a battle between Triangle Man and Chuck Norris, who would win?" - marasca

(This will have to be settled in the comments. -AL)



5. What can be found at 66˚33'39" North latitude?

"The Bermuda Triangle" - lots of you. Not even close. You are all advised to download Google Earth & play with it for a while.

"Your mom" - quite a few of you! Mean.

"God?" - vanbrosia

"Please God, let it be my marbles." - ophelialaughs

"Alternate universe Scully on a 1941 warboat!" - prettypinkkitty

(+1, X-Files. +5, Scully. Mmmmm, Scully.... -AL)

"My secret pudding stash." - profsparky

(Now the not-so-secret pudding stash. -AL)

(+100 to the first Quizling to raid the stash & send its contents to me. -CV)

"I sure hope it is a pony." - conaninaorange

(
My sources say no. -CV)

"The secret global dotted line, where the Old Ones will cut the top off the Earth and suck out its insides before consuming the rest, like a kid licking the middle of an Oreo before eating the cookies." - barbarienne

(That's it. No more Cthulhu for you before quizzing. You're cut off. -CV)

"Carmen Sandiego, I hope. I've been hunting that bitch down since I was seven." - thevioletangel

"" - syrazemyla

"Evidence of global warming. Glaciers melting, and polar bears starving. (Be aware that the government might have edited this answer)." - peaseblossom03

"all the unused peace, love and understanding that belonged to the American people and their government for the past 6 years. That's right. Frozen. Only global warming can save us now." - daturasblood

"The Arctic Circle... of LIFE!!!!!!!" - cortie

(-1. Dirty Disney tools. -CV)

"A circle that seperates the areas between 'Damn I cannot feel my fingers' to the area 'F*&k, I cannot feel s&*t'" - southbucki

"That would be the Arctic Circle, home of the famous Northern Lights, or Au- OMG SHINY SKY THING!!!" - fizrep

(Technically speaking. -AL)

Correct Answer: The Arctic Circle



6. What shape are you in currently?

"Intoxication. I bet I'm not the only one." - uncut_diamond
"So. so. so very hungover. Why is alcohol so wrong and yet so very, very right?" - prettypinkkitty

(Full credit, both of you. -CV)

"Round." - 43
"Pear." - 12
"Oblong." - 11
"Amorphous." - 16
"Oval." - 10

"Is pain a shape?" - lightmagician

(Only if Mr. T says it is. -CV)

"Is 'lumpy' a shape?" - ihateusernames

(Four other players say yes it is. -CV)

"I am shaped lumpy and I have humps. I feel like a camel....." - lilychrome

"Wonder Twin Powers, Activate! Form of Human Doormat! Shape of Pathetic TV Geek!" - punk_rock_nerd

"The shape of things to come...." - stagemanager

"Pretty bad, but you shoulda seen the other guy." - kimpire

"horrible shape. 11 minutes of DDR causes my legs to through a violent protest and then secede from the rest of my body." - the_wanlorn

"Much like Jabba the Hutt, only with a double-wide Hutt." - captainsblog

"A bit like a currant bun: Round and plump with sugar on the top." - m31andy

"Ship-shape. Which is a phrase that never made much sense to me, since those who claim it rarely are covered with barnacles." - das_kabinett

"'Let's get this vessel ship-shape!'
'I kind of like it the way it is - submarine-shape.'" - rikchik

(+1, not The Hunt For Red October. -CV)

"Rhomboid" - squeegibo, etumukutenyak, jadasc, ghostrider65
"The rhombus always makes me think of rhino's. Which is funny, because they arent the same shape." - aliaspiral
"I'm going to say 'trapezoid.' Not because it's true, but because it's fun to say 'trapezoid.' Trapezoid trapezoid trapezoid." - filmbuff

"Mostly humanoid, despite my best efforts at turning into a werewolf." - cygna_hime

"I'm currently in a building shaped kinda like a plus sign...so I'm in a positive shape!" - crystalcazzie

"I am topologically equivalent to some sort of multiple-holed torus." - rhitsqueaky

(Wow. Just... wow. -CV)

(I've thought about the topology, & I've thought about the anatomy. Unless you're all kinds of pierced, you're not- wait. I forgot about nostrils. Never mind, carry on. -AL)

Actually, AL is in pretty good shape, and is working on getting in even better shape to participate in a triathlon, because she's INSANE (EDIT: Not really insane; actually quite honourable of intent). CV, on the other hand, is shaped like someone who's robbed the First National Bank Of Hot Pockets.



And so the quiz is done. Aside from proving that most of you need a bit more exercise in your daily routine, you've been a great crowd again this week. Welcome aboard to all first-time players; remember to tell your friends, because secretly, they want to play too, and just don't know it yet. They do. Really.

Tune in tomorrow where things will hopefully shape up.

Rock on,

AL&CV