LJ Daily Answers: 15 May 2006

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"And, just so you know, I should be studying for AP Psychology right now. Dammit." - cougarfang

"This is just a desperate bid to replace Soviet Russia jokes with 'your mom' jokes in the forefront of our quizling minds, isn't it?" - babybokal
"Yo mama so stupid, she failed the LJDQ." - skfromstamford

I suppose that, if ever there was a right time for this kind of joke, it would be here. But also, yesterday was Mother's Day here in the United States. So, word to your mothers, y'all.



1. Queen Marie Antoinette of France, Queen Marie Caroline of Naples and Sicily, and Holy Roman Emperor Leopold II had what in common?

"These are the most recent names that O.J. Simpson crossed off his list of suspects in his diligent, never-ending search for the real killers." - i_calql8

"None of them had a penis? A guy who needs a title like 'Holy Roman Emperor' is probably trying to compensate for something." - _beatlette_

(You were supported by the three people who said they all had a vagina. Interesting... -CV)

"They were all beheaded, which is is like a headdesk of death?" - vanbrosia

(I believe the term you're looking for is *headbasket*. -CV)

"Allowing their subjects to have pudding cake." - princessstar
"Mmmm... cake... " - azure_dragon

"The most scandalous ménage à trois ever, one that certainly makes you rethink the term 'let them eat cake.'" - captainsblog

"A faaaaaabulous wardrobe!" - calico321, seraphic_slayer
"Nothing says 'classy' like tons of brocade!" - kenshardik

"Huge tits. Not many people know this, but Ferdinand XIII, was to be the last Holy Roman Emporer. However, his corpulent man-titties were so massive that they inhibited his walking. He stumbled over his own pseudomammaries just inches from the throne. Clearly unable to get up by himself, the assembled duke and princes of the assorted Germanic states, led by the Duke of Hapsburg, annuled the coronation. And now you know!" - fizrep

(There's a reason they don't let you teach history, you know. -CV)

"They all got Mother's Day gifts for the same lady" - naraht

"There was an old woman who lived in a castle shoe, she had so many children her hoo-hah fell off." - wowthatisminty

(+1, Andrew Dice Clay. -CV)

"The mother of all soccer moms, methinks." - humbleacolyte

"someone should slap whoever named two sisters 'Marie Antoinette' and 'Marie Caroline.' I mean, you almost have to yell their full names whenever you call them, which just makes it more difficult." - scifantasy

Correct Answer: Their mother, Maria Theresa, Archduchess of Austria



2. Name that movie!
X: You have to make the clitoris your best friend.
Y: What kind of friend is always hiding?

"You had me at 'clitoris'..." - mmmpie3001

"Friend? My clitoris is my leader and commander, not just a mere friend!" - wendynat

"Everyone loves Mother. Most of us love clitorises. There is no measure of the wrongosity of 'Mother' and 'clitoris' in the same themed quiz." - motown_deserter

"This sounds Woody Allen or Mel Brooks to me, but I am probably a few generations off." - csflick

(Three others of your generation agreed with Woody Allen. Would you like to know what the next generation thinks? -CV)

"The Adventures of Elmo in Crotchland" - sskipstress

"I am the Clit Commander!" - thanks4thefish

(+1, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. -CV)

"Disney's the Loin King?" - humbleacolyte

"Herbie, the Love Button" - wowthatisminty

"Der Little Man in Das Boot" - i_calql8

"Clitoris: Nature's Rubik's Cube" - renee12321

"What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy." - swampdweller

(+1, Monty Python's Meaning of Life. -CV)

"Tu mama's so tambien she'd cinco in a bathtub full of mayo!" - captainsblog

(The entire Spanish-speaking population of the Earth cringes in pain. -CV)

"do we need to evolve a neon light onto it so men can fucking FIND it!?" - vanbrosia
"reminds me of this party I was at when I was 20, when this 16 year old went into a back room with his girl to 'become a man'. Ten minutes later we hear the girl shout 'Not there! That's my belly button'." - master_flea

Correct Answer: Y Tu Mamá También

"I remember the first time I had sex with a girl. I had that problem. I owe that girl for all the great sex I've had since." - nadyenka

(This might be one of the most sincere and honest things we've ever seen here. We salute you. -AL&CV)



3. Contrary to Bogart film legend, there is no treasure in which Californian mountain range?

"There's a mountain range in California? *shakes fist* DAMN YOU, GEOGRAPHY, AND MY INABILITY TO GET HIGHER THAN A 'D' IN YOUR CLASS!!" - as_silver_seeps and several others

"Badges? Badges? We don't need no steenking badges!" - scifantasy, buzz, ccaretta, fmh
"Badgers?!? We don't need no badgers." - jacesan
"Legends? We don't need no stinkin' legends!" - kimpire
"Quizlins'? We don't need no steenkin' quizlins'!" - princessstarr
"Treasure? We don't need no stinkin' treasure!" - deltashade
"Right answers? We don't need no right answers." - peaseblossom03
"Obligatory movie reference? I don't give you no stinking obligatory movie reference!" - mcrunner03

"Pam Anderson's" - marasca, seraphic_slayer
"Anna Nicole Smith." - pheltzer
"The Dolly Partons." - jessicamariek, drbear

"There's no treasure in the Sierra Madre? Rats. I guess I better call my brother and tell him--I always used to distract him by assuring him that there really was treasure up there and he should go look for it while I read my book in peace." - miladygrey

"I'm just gonna say the Tetons which, even if inaccurate, still means 'tits'." - ghymoreid, wellowned, sphynx_thinks, sskipstress

"Disneyland. Because while very fun, Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, Space Mountain, and the Matterhorn are all pretty devoid of treasure." - filmbuff

"Mt. St. Helens!..er..no, that's a volcano which has a special burny treasure inside." - naraht

(+1 for the phrase "special burny treasure". -CV)

"There's no treasure in California at all anymore, except in the navels of starlets and around the necks of rappers." - ginalin

"There's no Maltese Falcon either. Should just call him Humphrey Bogus." - thepikey

"Mount Diablo is the only mountain in California I can name. Unfortunately, it doens't look anything like a devil. I was greatly disappointed." - wolffepsyche

(I used to live at the base of Mount Diablo. Draw whatever conclusions you like. -AL)

(What were you doing there anyway? Looking for Baal? -CV)

"The Da Vinci Mountains, and the 'treasure' is actually the offspring of Mt. Everest and K-2, which survives to this day in butte form!" - thanks4thefish

"But...but...there IS treasure in California mountains! The Oregon Trail game says so!" - nirejseki

"Sierra Madre means your mother's mountain. Am I the only one disturbed the statement that 'there is a treasure in your mother's mountains'? " - judith_s

"The Sierra Madre, which is right between the Sierra Padre and the Sierra Bebe. Sierra Goldilocos is over yonder, near the River Porridge." - etumukutenyak

Correct Answer: Sierra Madre



4. John Frusciante's debut with the Red Hot Chili Peppers occured on which album?

"*weeps* I used to know this until i tried to study for my greek final. Now all I can think about is the fact that I have no clue how to conjugate the first aorist middle voice." - monroe_nell

(Uhhh... well, we hope that works out for you. -AL&CV)

"Does Frusciante sound like a technical term for some perverse sexual act to you?" - sskipstess
"Sounds wonderful. Sort of like a cross between a nice red wine and a good sex session." - m31andy
"His name sounds like a fancy new fruity coffee." - crystalcazzie

"I don't know, but my debut came at the age of three, when I was apparently sitting calmly eating green chili peppers off a bush. Then I ate a bee. I don't like chili now." - whitetower

"I don't remember, but frankly, I doubt he does either." - duckgirlie

(Now why would you say that? -AL)

"I can name 2 RHCP albums - "Blood Sugar Sex Magic" and "Californication." Frusciante was doped up for the first which rocked and came back sober for the latter which was barely mediocre. Why? because Frusciante didn't obey the Heroin Law of Rockstardom - if you're going to do it, you have to die when you're 27 so your surviving bandmates can make a few million off the tribute album." - morganashkevron

(One problem with that, if they ALL obeyed the Heroin Law... -AL)

"Speaking of RHCP, I just read Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis. A better title would be Heroin and My Penis because they were unquestionably the stars of the show." - bloominglotus

(... no-one would've survived to make a tribute album. -AL)

"Mother's Milk, which I hear doesn't taste that good. I'll keep my sources anonymous to protect the not-so-innocent. I mean, they didn't try their *own* mother's milk, they tried that of their wife who had recently had a baby. They're not *that* depraved..." - marasca

(-1, sheltering the guilty from ridicule. -AL)

"mothers milk, pretty much the reason my mate niki failed his a-levels - practicing bass until 4 in the morning before your chemistry exam? you'll fail and you still won't be anywhere near as good as flea." - rosecrea

"'Mother's Milk' with that awesome album cover that I could stare at for hours and hours. I had it for three weeks before I realized that there was music in it, too." - kenshardik

"A quick jaunt down the hall to consult a coworker resulted in an hour long diatribe on how they've sold out and their older stuff was so much better, but I picked up that the correct answer is Mother's Milk just before my eyes glazed over and I began to drool." -wolffepsyche

"Matriarchal colostrum." - thesecondevil

"RHCP...I prefer Tabasco, made in Avery Island, Louisiana, and the condiment of choice for Cajuns and other fine human beings everywhere. They also make a wussy version (Tabasco Green) for the non-louisianans and the children. However, if one is a lactating mother, one should not consume any RHCP, as the capsaicin will cross into the mother's milk, thereby causing the baby to colic." - etumukutenyak

Correct Answer: Mother's Milk



5. Which Sophoclean tragedy features the murder of King Laius of Thebes as, possibly, the lesser crime committed?

"Jocasta: the original MILF." - slanciante

"Is there a special name for murdering a king? Y'know like 'matricide' for when you kill yor mom? Is it like...rexicide or monarchicide? Personally, I like 'rexicide'. It's fun to say. Say it out loud a couple times. Rexicide, rexicide, rexicide..." - seraphic_slayer

(While fun to say, rexicide is a word without a job. Because English uses "regicide" to denote the killing of a king. -AL)

(We can reserve "rexicide" to mean "the killing of a Tyrannosaurus Rex". Because sometimes, even they try to hit up their moms:

For more of the wisdom of T-Rex, visit qwantz's website at http://www.qwantz.com and marvel at dinosaurian comedy. -CV)

"'Sophoclean tragedy'--isn't that a redundancy? Dude was not exactly a laugh riot. People would get so depressed watching his stuff that they'd skip across the Dramatis Mvltiplex to see that latest Aristophanes play." - i_calql8

"I'm thinking, 'what crime could be worse than killing somebody', and the only answer I can come up with is 'sleeping with your mom'. OH HEY WAIT, I think I just got this week's theme." - lyme

(I love watching knowledge sneak up on people. -AL)

"Oedepus! Who is referenced in the song 'King of Pain'! Which is sung by Sting! You like Sting, right?!" - calico321

(We do! +1, Sting! -CV&AL)

"'What uses four legs in the morning, two in the day, and three at night?' Whilst the answer is man, my teacher omniously added 'Girls, when you get married you will really understand what Sophocles is getting at there...'" - torsparkles

"Oedipus, the story which many soaps are based on." - conglacio

"Hamlet." - jenny_1981

(Only the movie version with Mel Gibson & Glenn Close. And really, I blame Glenn Close for that. -AL)

"'Give to Oedipus! Give to Oedipus! Hey Josephus!'
'Hey motherfucker!'" - renee12321

(+1, History of the World, Part 1. -CV)

"Sophoclean! Guaranteed to remove blood stains faster than the leading brand! Just see how it tackles this Shakespearean tragedy!" - azure_dragon

"What are the odds that Oedipus would actually have an Oedipus complex. Even Teiresias could have seen that one coming." - mcrunner03

"Ah Oedipus. Proof that when it comes to taste in women, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Or sometimes the tree tries to get rid of the apple, and the apple comes back, kills the tree and marries the tree's widow. OK, maybe the analogy doesn't quite work." - filmbuff

"Eodeipus Rex. Did I spell it right? Probably not. Those silly Greeks and their excessive use of vowels" - morganashkevron

(Not to mention other things... -CV)

"Όεδιποσ Βασιλέυσ" - germankitty

"Yob tvoyu mat! (That's Russian for 'fuck your mother', a wonderfully versatile imprecation, but not to be uttered unless you're absolutely sure that there are no other speakers of the language in the room, especially 80-year-old grannies who are then going to try to wash your mouth out. Learned *that* lesson my first month working in a nursing home.) If the answer isn't Oedipus then you've just learned a new swearword anyway." - ghymoreid

Correct Answer: Oedipus Rex

"Did you hear about the architect with a severe psychological problem? He had an edifice complex." - elucreh



6. Have a seat on this couch here and tell us about your mother.

"My Mom kicks ass and takes names. No, really, she taught public school. But seriously, my Mom rocks. She remains the one person of whom I never tire. She gave me my tenacity, my wit and my dedication to honour and fair play. To quote Mr. T: 'I'm a Mama's Boy, and I pity the fool who ain't!'" - motown_deserter

"Rabid Christian Fundie. I love my mother dearly, but we *do not* discuss politics or religion, least we start an impromptu reinactment of the Crusades." - calico321

"My mother really enjoyed paper towel tubes, sunflower seeds, a running wheel and eating her own young. She was attracted to the smell of elderberries." - renee12321

(+1, Monty Python. -CV)
(+1, clever quoting. -AL)

"My mom is pretty darn cool. My dad voted for GWB in 2004 and my mom made him sleep on the couch for a month (my dad, not the President, though that would have been funny, too)." - morganashkevron

"My mother walked a marathon at the age of 56. She got her passport and traveled internationally for the first time at the age of 63. And she's still only partially grey at the age of 66. Plus she's turning into a hippy as she gets older. How cool is that?" - cjtremlett

"My mama could kick your mama's ass. She really could. She almost 60 and she plays soccer three days a week. In a word, she's awesome." - marasca

"Obviously, ljdq is guilting me into admitting, that no, I haven't gotten my mother anything for Mother's Day. I'm broke and I have finals!" - princessstarr

(Oh, that's all right, dear. I mean, she only carried you in her womb for nine months, & has supported you every day since for nearly the last 20 years .... don't worry, I'm sure she'll understand ... -AL)

(This guilt trip has been brought to you by today's LJDQ sponsor, princessstarr's mom. -CV)

"My mom steals my CDs.. but then I guess it's okay, because she never complains about my music." - nadyenka

(...since you don't have any left once she's done with the stealin'. -AL)

"Nice. Friendly. Blonde. Doesn't trust my driving skills." - dracothelizard

"I am a sarcastic bitch. After meeting my mother, no one questions how I came by this tendency." - jrho

"My mother is addicted to the Sims. My mother equates God with the Sims. He creates us, we have our own free will, but there are some things He makes us do. I often wonder if God, when He made two men kiss for the first time, started yelling, 'C'mere! Look! I made guy lesbians!' like my mother did." - whiski_sour

"My mum once stopped three lanes of traffic to let a duck and her ducklings get to the other side. I suppose the question is why they wanted to cross in the first place." - sorachang

(So, tell us about YOUR mother, CV. -AL)

(Born in Africa, father was Chinese, worked in England, married a German, moved to America. That pretty much spans all the important continents, right? -CV)

(And what about YOUR mother, AL? -CV)

(My mother, aka the Lil' Lucy Woman, is all kinds of awesome. She's been a teacher for over thirty years! *respectful bow* -AL)



And there you have it. Happy Mother's Day to all our LJDQ moms out there, or mom-to-be's, or mommish type figures; keep up the good work! Thanks for playing this, the mother of all internet quizzes, and we'll see you mofos again tomorrow!

Rock On,

AL&CV

Comments

[tempusfrangit.livejournal.com]

ROCK! Honesty pays off yet again! *grins* *takes a bow*

[tabbyclaw.livejournal.com]

Great, now I've got the "regicide" line from "The Madness of King Scar" running thorugh my head. Just that line, mind.

*knitted a mokair and silk lace scarf for Mother's Day*

[tabbyclaw.livejournal.com]

That should be "mohair." I suspect "mokair" is a character in a fantasy world I'm just ungeeky enough not to know about.

[entropical87.livejournal.com]

Nothing at all to say, really. Just me being appalled that I'm still awake to see this posted. o_O

The summer nocturnal schedule comes in handy after all.

[avron]

Re: (Born in Africa, father was Chinese, worked in England, married a German, moved to America. That pretty much spans all the important continents, right? -CV)
What about South America and Oce... oh yeah, that's right. You guys hardly acknowledge Canada and Mexico and separate countries let alone everywhere south and west of Chiapas. And as for us over in the South Pacific, even I know we aren't important on a global scale.

PS. It was Mother's Day here in NZ too. And while I didn't get my mother a gift of any sort I had informed my parents of some things happening in my life on the Thursday by email and I bought her a birthday present three months earlier. I'm a bad son, I admit it, but at least I don't take handouts and get her to wash my clothes every weekend.

[wolfpurplemoon]

Did no-one mention that here in the UK, Mother's Day was on 26th March? I got my mum a present and we were having a nice lazy Sunday morning until HER mum phoned at 8.50 and informed us it was actaully 9.50 as the clocks just went forward!! :D

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Nope, all the Brits forgot. Or they did it way back then. Or something. Rah bah, cheeky England, always bucking the trend.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Heh... actually I like the Down Under region and people. I was just being controversial. But South America? They're dead to me!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

The short-lived line of "Mokair Bears" tried to promote extra caring through coffee to children, but after a tragic incident with Espresso Bear and an AK-47, the product line was discontinued.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

It is the best policy, after all. And we're just glad you've become one with your inner clitoris.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Sleep is for the weak. Arise! Behold the quiz as it rises from slumber! Sleep when you're dead!

[tempusfrangit.livejournal.com]

And there's a lot to be said for finally learning the skills of lesbian sex. Oh yes. *grin*

[ghymoreid.livejournal.com]

This is striking me as a rather apposite time to mention that I am commonly known as "Rex" by everyone save my parents, who, I sometimes think, wouldn't be averse to at least one act of "rexicide" should the opportunity arise.

Tits and Swearies From Languages Other Than English. From now on I shall stick to these themes in the hopes of getting quoted more often.

[letsbook.livejournal.com]

I can't believe i got a line in on my first attempt (with honesty!).

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

We wanted everyone to share in the mystery of the ducks. Also, as a tangent, duck is tasty. Mmmmmm. Especially baby duck.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Tits and Swearies go far. As does Rexicide.

[elaran.livejournal.com]

"Tu mama's so tambien she'd cinco in a bathtub full of mayo!"
I don't speak Spanish but I think my eardrums just burst. >.< ohGods.

[drbear.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised nobody managed to remember the guy who loved his mother in that way and had an auto junkyard - Oedipus Wrecks.

[ghymoreid.livejournal.com]

The first point I am extremely well aware of.

As to the second ... *gets all paranoid now*

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Or the greatest marketing failure ever in the history of breakfast cereal: Oedipus Chex.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

It made my inner Hispanic cry.

[germankitty]

OMG, quoted for dusting off my extremely rusty Greek skillz! Whee!

(Btw, thanks for the well-wishes! *is mommy*)

[i-calql8.livejournal.com]

*jaw dropped in incredulous surprise

Holy eff-double-star-kay, the hitting streak is alive, and with a triple quote at that! Guess you guys took that Teacher Appreciation Week stuff to heart, huh?

Man, anything I do next week will be a letdown. I should retire right now. Nah, I'll stay anyways--staying in the game just a little bit longer has worked for so many sports legends...

[shinga.livejournal.com]

"My mother is addicted to the Sims. My mother equates God with the Sims. He creates us, we have our own free will, but there are some things He makes us do. I often wonder if God, when He made two men kiss for the first time, started yelling, 'C'mere! Look! I made guy lesbians!' like my mother did."

I don't know why that had me laughing so freakin' hard.

I need to actually, like... take the quiz next time. *hates being busy* *l* :>

[ntlespino.livejournal.com]

Or do we go with what Oedipus and Jocasta had, which was Oedipus (cut for language that is inappropriate for minors and since I can't LJ cut in a comment, use your rhyming brains...)