LJ Daily Answers: 27 February 2006

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"I had to wait til my son wasn't around before completing this one. He's five, and thanks to Thomas the Tank Engine is obsessed with trains. Have you ever heard a five-year-old belt out the Thomas theme song? 27 times in a row, with the same missed words every time? No? Count yourselves lucky." - deza

Eeeeeexcellent. Let's take a magical train ride together and see what answers you have wrought!



1. Lyrics time! Name the song and the band:
"Say you stand by your man
Tell me something I don't understand
You said you love me and that's a fact
Then you left me, said you felt trapped"

"So... A priest, a rabbi, and a koala walk into a bar..." - vyseryn

"Taking random words from each line, you can make the following sentence: 'You don't love felt' Who doesn't love felt? It's fuzzy!" - azure_dragon

"there's an Israeli band called Mashina and one of their songs (one of my favorites of theirs and an old one) is called 'Night Train' and it starts, 'Ani kol-kach atzuv li veshemesh al ha'ir, ve-Dizengoff nira li cmo rakevet laila le-Kahir. Bein kol hatzlilim, mehapes siman. Yoshev betzad ha-derech, yoshev leyad hazman.' At one point in the song they sing, 'Betoch tochi kodeach, ani yotze la-ir, oleh al harakevet, rakevet laila leKahir.' And then they go, 'Ayaaa, wan-waaaa, ayaaaaaaaaaa', which is gibberish. Nearly at the end of the song they go 'Gilah-gilah Putcha Puti' and after repeating the refrain again they go 'Gilah-gilah tchika-kale' and it's also just gibberish." - ANONYMOUS

(Alas, you have no name, because you'd be a surefire winner of this week's spiffington Award For Total Gibberish. -CV)

"Tammy Wynnette, 'Stand By Your Man'" - Oh so very many of you

"the theme to nicole kidman's lovelife." - il_pleut

"If it's not on the Foreigner Belt, I ain't interested" - altoidsaddict

"The Train in Main Drives Mostly in the Plain" - judith_s

(+1, My Fair Lady. -CV)

"'Leaving on a jet train', by Jefferson Airtrain" - This joke got a surprising amount of mileage...

"The Monorail Song - Songs in the Key of Springfield" - wiredwizard

(+1, The Simpsons. -CV)

"The Clash makes me happy. Punk makes me happy. It kinda makes me want to go smack around all those damned little emo kids wearing the Hot Topic Ramones shirt. Like they even know who the Ramones are. In my day... *trails off*" - renee12321

"Wait...Sting was in The Clash?" - animagiblender

Correct Answer: "Train In Vain" by The Clash

"I never understood why the called the song after a train when there's no freaking train in it! Talk about your false advertising." - deza



2. The French TGV and the Japanese Shinkansen are examples of what?

"How to run a railway system. Are you listening, Amtrak?!?" - lovellama

(There were similar admonishments made to British Rail. -AL)

"Steam trains? Someone I used to work with was very much into trains and went all the way from England to China to spot them. I declined to look at his holiday photos." - peachiepie

"Overseas diseases you need to be vaccinated for." - elbiesee

"Giant Fighting Mecha! Shinkansen would rule TGV then... see Glorious French Military Victories." - ntlespino

"They slice! They dice! They're only $19.95 if you act now!" - wolffepsyche

"Sounds like what the catalogues tastefully refer to as 'personal massage' devices." - fmh

"I used to have a French TGV! Drove teh wife crazy with it. I recommend it highly." - drbear

"Super-fast trains. I'm pretty sure that Shinkansen means - 'Blazing Vortex Infinity Train!' *cheesy anime music*" - vanbrosia

"proof that trains can run on time and the british government are simply forcing me to stand in the howling wind and rain at stations i've never even heard of simply for their own sick amusement." - roscrea

"Particular Iron Chef cooking techniques. In addition, there's also the Italian Trenitalia style, but it's usually a lot slower and the Iron Chef doesn't finish within the alloted hour." - mermaidkween

"Marital aids. I particularly love the slogan, 'A Shinkansen in the back door and your love-man will go blinky!' (Not a direct translation, but pretty close to the original intent.)" - kenshardik

(What the HELL are you talking about?? -AL)

"Bullet trains. These confuse the hell out of Superman." - deza

"I was always scared of bullet trains when I was little. I thought they existed to kill other trains." - chash

Correct Answer: Bullet Trains



3. What are the four railroad squares on a standard Monopoly board?

"They aren't squares, they're rectangles." - david_deacon

(-1, pedantry. -AL)

"Really, really hard to collect! There's always someone who doesn't want to let go of their railway station. You can NEVER get the complete set, it's like those two streets right before GO, the really expensive ones. NO ONE will let you have those two together either." - dracothelizard

"Gravy Train, Bridal Train, Wagon Train, and the Train of Thought." - alfvaen

"Clues to the rightful heir of New Jersey, as demonstrated in the Da Vinci code." - pyllgrum

(Everyone knows that the rightful heir of New Jersey is chaosvizier. -AL)

"SO disappointed to find out that Reading Railroad was not, in fact, the rails' equivalent of a bookmobile." - altoidsaddict

"Liverpool Street, Marylebone, King's Cross, and Fenchurch Street. At least that's the standard English one. You damned Colonials probably have different stations. Uncultured lot." - darkeros, speaking for many

(We may be uncultured, but we invented the game, so our stations are the Correct Answer. If you don't like it, Go To Jail. -AL)

"Mine! ‘cause I got da mad kapitalist skillz! I be gettin' my greed on like Ayn Rand, yo!" - zihuatanejo

"All I can remember are the ones from San Franciscopoly - SamTrans, CalTrain, Bart and the rampaging gay train" - kestrel127

(LJDQ Fun Fact:)
"It costs $90,000 to have a customized version of Monopoly made. I know because we were looking into having one made for the GA State Parks as a promotion. But, you know, government entity and $90K for a game just don't go well together." - wolffepsyche

(That's a bit pricey. So much for our plans for an LJDQ version. -AL)

"I've always sucked at Monopoly. My Ukranian stepsiblings beat me all the time. You know, for former communists, they caught on to Monopoly pretty damn quick." - __traicionera

"Am I the only person who used to giggle whenever B&O railroad was mentioned? It sounds like BO. hee!" - arib

(Now, I'm quoting this next answer only because I REALLY want to hear the backstory. -AL)

"Fuck you, grandma! Where'd you get all those twenties, huh? Don't touch me grandpa, grandma's a cheating whore!" - unithien_rerith

"I hate Monotony. Even the much faster-paced computer version, with the fun animations. And you know what’s really stupid about the computer game? Say it’s just you playing against three computer opponents. If you 'lose' before you quit to start a new game, the three computer opponents continue to play and there is NO WAY to stop them until they play themselves out. Seriously, what computer programmer thought, 'Oh, yeah, they’ll so want to sit there and just watch and see which one of the AI’s will win it...'?!" - smeddley

"The Party Train, the Soul Train, The Chattanooga Choo-Choo, and the Loco-motion." - vyseryn

"B&O, S&M, Reading, and Pennsylvania." - mamasboy

(I almost passed that over as yet another boring, correct answer. -AL)

Correct Answer: B&O, Pennsylvania, Reading, Short Line



4. "A repulsive murderer has been murdered repulsively", and Hercule Poirot is called upon to solve the murder of Mr. Ratchett in which Agatha Christie tale?

"C: I wish to complain. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswitch.
A: No, this is Bolton.
C: The pet shop man's brother was lying!!
A: Can't blame British Rail for that." - deza

(+1, Monty Python. -CV)

"I never did like 'Murder She Wrote' it was just too weird that this old woman would get involved with dead people all the time." - mammasboy

"'Snakes on a Train'" - oh yeah, couldn't have seen that coming

"The little engine that could... commit murder." - wingsister

"A friend of mine had a parrot which he named "Hercules" after Agatha Christie's famous detective." - darkeros

"Hercules solved mysteries? Did Xena help?" - arib

"Ah, Poirot. The most famous Belgian in the world. In fact the only famous Belgian in the world. Ever." - crystalcazzie

(Now now, that's not true. What about the inventor of the Belgian Waffle? -CV)

"I'm sexually attracted to Hercule Poirot. There, I got it off my system. It's just, damnit, he's got a funny little moustache and he's so short, I mean while he's down there..." - animagiblender

(You get a -1. Believe me, you earned it. -CV)

"I have a Hercule Poirot book. It's called 'The Adventure of the Christmas Pudding', but sadly does not feature a murderous christmas pudding. Shame." - timydamonkey

(...I'm going to have to call shenanigans on this one. -CV)

"Sherlock Holmes pwns the British Underground" - unithien_rerith

"One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest With an Extra 't' to Kill Her Husband!!! (part 2, of course)" - droptheleash622

"Was he murdered due to his smell? Did he just need deordant? Poor Hulk, nobody understands him because he's big and green." - akiyasan

"This is by far my favorite Agatha Christie novel. Except for maybe Ten Little Indians/Hey, We Should Really Make This Title More PC/And Then There Were None." - baseballchica03

"the movie version has the killer from Psycho, that English guy from Austin Powers and a very pointed mustache. The mustache, alas, does not kill anyone." - kestrel127

Correct Answer: Murder On The Orient Express

'Have you read 'Murder on the Orient Local'? Takes forever." - zihuatanejo



5. What project was completed in 1869 with the driving of The Golden Spike?

"The 'Whoops, There Goes Another Chinaman!' Railroad" - csi_tokyo3

"Heh. Driving the golden spike. Heh heh. All the guys think theirs is golden. (Ladies, amiright?)" - elbiesee

"No idea...it's something to do with golf isn't it? The most expensive golf shoes ever made perhahps? The largest tee in the history of golfing? Well that's kinda a spike innit? Am I close? Even vaguely?" - spiffington

(How we have missed you, girl. -CV)

"This project connected all major American cities by railroad, which have a movement cost of zero, thus allowing my massive Roman army, waiting just off the coast of Denver, to capture every American city in a single turn. And that's why they limited movement on railroad tracks in Civilization IV." - ndef

"Conspiracy: Strasburg, in my home state of Colorado, was the ACTUAL meeting of the transcontinental railroad 15 months after the Promontory Point business. Its location is marked by a set of monkey bars. MONKEY BARS. What, were the hookers just better in Utah?" - altoidsaddict

(Let's ask a Utahan. -AL)

"Gaaah. I live in Utah. This is . . . well, one of the only things we're famous for, besides having one of the highest birthrates and stuff." - kickthehobbit

But in all seriousness, I think this quiz is train themed (really, maggiebloome? Whatever gave you that idea?) so I'd guess the golden spike is some kind of railroad through Previously Uncharted Territory, probably in South America..." - maggiebloome

(And right there is where logic ceases to be helpful. -AL)

"The completion of the Golden Arches." - bizzatch

"The transcontinental railroad. (And, as a price for having remembered that, my eighth grade history teacher has taken up permanent residence in my brain, staring at me with her creepy bug-eyes and saying 'Quite literally' and 'Pay attention now, gang.')" - jessalae

(You got quoted, though. Was it worth it? -AL)

"Have you seen the commercials when they finish the transcontinental railroad and then everyone is covered in soot, but Orbit gum makes their teeth nice and shiny? I love those commercials." - shannon_sue

Correct Answer: The Transcontinental Railroad

"Do not confuse this with the completion of the Transcontinental Bike Path, which occured later that year and involved the Golden Spoke." - caffeineod



6. Tell us something crazy that happened to you on a trip. Bonus points if it was a rail trip.

"This one time, at band camp..." - Yeah, we saw this coming too.

"what does a railroad zombie go in search of? 'TRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNSSS!!'" - etumukutenyak

"None of my tips have been anything like those in american road movies. this has lead me to ponder the possibility that hollywood does not allways tell the truth." - conglacio

"Well, I was hitchhiking and nearly got ran over by a train, does that count?" - popehippo

(I have to admit, trains don't usually stop to pick up hitchhikers. -CV)

"once I got wedged upside-down between a bunk bed and the wall in a cabin on a ferry. Cuz I uh...tried to climb down to the bottom bunk headfirst. Without the ladder. And then I got stuck and cried." - kokopellinelli

"I found out in Canada you can have easy access to not one but TWO channels of 24 hour a day hardcore porn..." - buzz

"Several years ago when I was in Rome, we saw the pope, were chased by gypsies, fined $50 by fake Italian police on the subway, and witnessed a bear being gang-raped in the local zoo. Seriously, the bears were lined up and taking turns." - hermione_like

"I played with a monkey! It doesn't involve rail, but still, I PLAYED WITH A MONKEY!! There was no monkey spankage involved.

I may or may not have been drunk off Sauza gold in that picture" - lynbug

(+1, monkey. -CV)

"When I went to Tahiti I remember the locals would play soccer all the time. Which was fine and all, except that they didn't wear underwear and you could always see their junk sticking out of their shorts. That and they had flying cockroaches. Not a good combination. You'd think they would have their junk packed away just in case the cockroaches went insane or something." - nunshavingfun

"On the way back from Disneyland, we had a tire blow out in the middle of the desert. My favorite ride in Disneyland was the Thunder Mountain Railroad (thus the relevance). This ride later killed somebody, so I guess I got off easy." - rachelkachel

"In the fall of 1978 I travelled from London to Venice by train. My companion and I decided to stop in Turin overnight. We found a cheap place to stay near the station, dropped our stuff off and went out for dinner and a walk around. We got jumped by a half dozen guys in jeans and black leather jackets who started pointing guns at us. I do not speak Italian. I had no clue what was going on. My companion did speak Italian and was able to ascertain that these were plain clothes cops. They thought we were mixed up with either the Bader-Meinhof gang or the Red Army Faction, one or other of which had kidnapped and shot the Lancia CEO that afternoon. Fortunately for us, we had our passports and train tickets with us and thus were able to prove we were not the terrorists they were looking for." - darkeros

"I eloped. Seriously. Went to visit a friend for a month, met a guy she set up on with on a blind date, got married. It's lasted 18 years. I highly recommend marrying almost total strangers. Eat my shorts, eHarmony.com!" - ginalin

"So I'm in Paraguay, right, and I go to this festival with all these people I just met. Everything--and this is something you have to understand about Paraguayan religious festivals--everything is on fire, seriously. Soccer balls, hanging effigies, the town drunk. There's a group of performers dressed up like women and the Pope and KKK members, and they're yelling something in the local indigenous language, which of course I don't understand. The most I ever learned to say was 'I'm hungry' and 'skinny dog' and 'sex,' although generally not at the same time. I definitely never learned how to say, 'Please stop chasing me with that flaming cow skull,' which turned out to be a problem." - __traicionera

"the best thing that happened to me on a train is that i got really really really drunk, stood up and knocked myself out on the over-hang thing above my head." - raspberryfix

"I have nothing else.. so I give you this..
" - jaebird



And there you have it, plane and simple.

Special shout out this week goes to chlaal, who has spent the past few months aiding and abetting our felonious quizmodding efforts while angledge was saving the world FEMA-style. Now AL has returned to her luxurious headquarters in San Francisco, and thus back to fully active duty, but we couldn't have handled things without chlaal's help. Muchissimas gracias, and feel free to name your new baby after whichever one of us is appropriate.

Tune in tomorrow for more quizzy goodness, and make sure you tell all your friends about the quiz so that they come by and play too. It's fun for the whole family! Come get some!

Rock on!

AL&CV

Comments

[pheltzer.livejournal.com]

Apparently my funny went on vacation this week. I wonder if it took a train... I hope it sends me a postcard from wherever it went. And not one of those "The weather is here... wish you were beautiful" cards either. I got slapped once because of that song.

[lovellama.livejournal.com]

The is an Agatha Christie book called 'The Adventure of the Christmas Pudding'. I saw the TV adaption from A&E this weekend. Suchet still pwns that role!!

[jaebird.livejournal.com]

I want to pet a monkey!!

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

'Have you read 'Murder on the Orient Local'? Takes forever."

Bwahahahahah.

Brilliant!

[sadasi.livejournal.com]

"Ah, Poirot. The most famous Belgian in the world. In fact the only famous Belgian in the world. Ever." - crystalcazzie

(Now now, that's not true. What about the inventor of the Belgian Waffle? -CV)

Ahem.



And there you have it, plane and simple
Oh no. No planes next week. Too many 'snakes on a plane' jokes, please for the love of God, nnnoooooooooo!

[pisica.livejournal.com]

My funny also went away. Hopefully it's sharing a hot weekend in Ibiza with your funny.

[ginalin.livejournal.com]

Everyone knows the most famous Belgian in the world is Jean Claude Van Damm!

I mean, any guy who can do the splits while suspended from two trees makes me want to go to Belgium like nobody's business.

Oh, and they have great chocolate there. So, if there isn't any gluteally blessed Eurotrash suspended from trees, I can at least have chocolate.
Win-win.

[jonem.livejournal.com]

Ta-da! (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0006168175/102-7218658-5798511?v=glance&n=283155)

Lovely cover.

[dv8dragonfly.livejournal.com]

"Fuck you, grandma! Where'd you get all those twenties, huh? Don't touch me grandpa, grandma's a cheating whore!" - unithien_rerith
Dane Cook (http://www.danecook.com/). I only know because I JUST heard that bit Saturday night.

[sadasi.livejournal.com]

oh blast.

[diefbaby.livejournal.com]

Special shout out this week goes to chlaal, who has spent the past few months aiding and abetting our felonious quizmodding efforts while angledge was saving the world FEMA-style.


Hey, another FEMA lackey! Huzzah! *is totally FEMA's bitch*

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Dammit, stupid Real Life interfering with my LJDQ-playing time. This would've been the perfect excuse to share my story of the Worst Pick-Up Line In The World, Ever!

Also:

Ten Little Indians/Hey, We Should Really Make This Title More PC/And Then There Were None.

Actually, Ten Little Indians was already a PC-ified version of that title. The book was originally called Ten Little Niggers. I actually own a copy of that version, and I always feel like I should try and hide it behind the other books when people visit.

[pheltzer.livejournal.com]

Wow.... not going to touch that with a ten foot pole

[ataralas.livejournal.com]

I was far too busy writing my thesis (see, you do all this research, and then they make you write it up. Who would have thought? The bastards!) this week to find my funny, but I just want to say that you guys made me weep with joy at the train theme! I, like deza's five year old, was/am obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine, and this has lead me to a life of taking three-day side trips to Wales for the sole purpose of seeing the world's first preservation steam railway.

Speaking of Thomas, I loved PBS's Shining Time Station as a kid, and only later in life did I realize how HI-FUCKING-STERICAL it was that George Carlin and Ringo Starr were the tiny little men that took you away to a special place through sparkly dust.

Oooh, and I did see a really awesome rack steam railway this summer in Switzerland. And all of the roundhouse crew had Really Awesome Facial Hair. Waxed moustaches are the shit.

Also, the Chicago Museum of Science&Industry has the BEST MODEL RAILWAY EVER. Seriously. It has little model dead bodies floating in the Chicago River. And Bigfoot. And kayakers. And corn. And an absolutely perfect replica of the Blue Line Chicago stop.

I'm going to stop now. Really.

[babybokal.livejournal.com]

I didn't think it was possible to forget to take a quiz. Apparently I was wrong.

__traicionera: You have Ukrainian cousins? Was that a strange trivia detail I just spaced?

[jaebird.livejournal.com]

:O
Oh please let me touch the monkey!!!

[germankitty]

*joins funny-less club*

My guess is, they're somewhere nice, sunny and warm. Probably Australia.

[pheltzer.livejournal.com]

Australia would be better... I don't think my funny knows Spanish.

[germankitty]

Or maybe our funnies were talking to us in Spanish (which sounds Greek to me, who is German, thus completing the Babel-like confusion) and that's why we were unable to channel understand them.

Ah, theories!

[deza.livejournal.com]

W00T! My funny returned, and brought a +1 for company!
*happy dance*

[ginalin.livejournal.com]

Boy, this game really brings out the "greed is good" in people. I got my kids a Monopoly game this last summer, thinking we'd all bond over this lovely game from my childhood.

My kids are all, "I'm going to throw you out in the street to die, you poor ass motherfucker!"
"Oh, Yeah, well, I'm gonna come back, break into your motel and crap in your basement!"

I quickly sent them back to the relative tranquility of Resident Evil 4 and Halo.

[deza.livejournal.com]

You and my son should get together. You can watch Thomas videos and have his older sister make you oatmeal.

Heh, when I put it that way, the kid's got a pretty decent life...

[amberdulen.livejournal.com]

"I have a Hercule Poirot book. It's called 'The Adventure of the Christmas Pudding', but sadly does not feature a murderous christmas pudding. Shame." - timydamonkey

(...I'm going to have to call shenanigans on this one. -CV)

I seriously think I read this. The major clue was the pudding, like its whereabouts, somebody hid a gem or something in it. And the maid did it...come on, timydamonkey, help me out here.

I am highly in favor of LJDG Monopoly. You would pass Go and collect pudding, and if you landed on the wrong spot you would Go To the Bar. The spots would be stuff like "Soviet Russia" and "Pod Six".

[mermaidkween.livejournal.com]

Yay, my funny's back. :)

Thanks for making my morning rock - it's been a shit 36 hours that may or may not have involved me and two and a half bottles of champagne...I'll leave it at that, you draw whatever conclusions you want.

[amberdulen.livejournal.com]

Tintin was Belgian?

Lame. Poirot could take him in a fair fight.