LJ Daily Answers, 20 February 2006
Feb. 20th, 2006 07:38 amLove! Love love love love love! If you want to, you can blame this theme on
Yecch, that thought is appalling. Here are the Answer in lieu of the brain bleach you really need.
1. In which Aerosmith song can one live it up when one is going down?
"Am I the only one who sings that song when alone in an elevator? Somehow, I doubt it." -
"Cheney's got a gun." -
(Ooooh, clever & political & timely! I'm even willing to overlook the pun. Good show! -AL)
"I dunno, the prospect of going down on a member of Aerosmith hardly qualifies as 'living it up' in my book, unless the Dude Looks Like a Lady. More like Crazy, mainly because I figure that they're so Jaded, their Sweet Emotions unable to be expressed due to the Bacon Biscuit Blues. Besides, Falling In Love (is hard on the knees)..." -
"For Christmas when I was 14, my parents bought Aerosmith tickets so I went to the show with them and my brother. This is when I discovered that cool parents means Awkward Moments. They got drunk and started making out. Right there. In public. And they left 'to get more drinks' when 'Love in an Elevator' started and my head exploded." -
(You ... don't happen to have a sibling who's 15 years younger than you, do you? -AL)
"I've never actually had love in an elevator, so I'd like to extend an open invitation to a LJDQette to rid me of this vertical virginity." -
(I'm telling your girlfriend. -AL)
"Steven Tyler scares the living daylights out of me. So does Mick Jagger, come to think of it. I guess scraggle-faced big-lipped classic rockers should be added to my list of phobias." -
(You & me both. - AL)
"Workin' like a dog on an answer (WHOA)
Workin' on the Daily Quiz (WHOA, YEAH)
Bein' right and bein' funny (WHOA)
Looks easier than it is (WHOA, YEAH)
Gotta get my answer right
It's a test that I've got to pass
If I don't get quoted by Monday night
Then kiss my sassafrass!" -
"What the hell is a 'sassafrass', anyway?" -
(Sassafrass is a kind of tree. But in this song, it's a sneaky way to say "ass" on the radio without bringing the FCC down on your head. -AL)
"I grew up in Marshfield, MA, home of Steven Tyler. One year he went to the community christmas house on the fairgrounds with his son, and the little old man working there thought he had come in to take a donation. He's really small and gross looking. And felt up my stepsister's pregnant belly last summer. She was starstruck. I've seen him buy toilet paper, I wasn't impressed." -
"Bit of advice kids--don't ever actually do this unless you know damn well that the elevator is NOT going anywhere. There are few things more embarrassing than having the doors pried open to reveal your in flagrante selves to the entire dorm. The firemen rescuing us were amused, though. One of them had a camera." -
"Love in One of Those Beamer Things from Star Trek" -
Correct Answer: "Love in An Elevator".
"Aaaaaaah it's stuck in my head noooooowwwwww" -
2. Name the actress and the movie:
"The reign of Christian terror is over. We're going back to our roots. We are porn again."
"Hahahaha! I wish!" -
(Somehow, your username makes your answer ten times funnier. -AL)
"I like the idea of being Porn Again." -
"I once had a huge porn collection but I was forced to give it up... but hallelujah, praise Hugh Heffner, I have seen the light, I have come back to Porn!!! Say Amen with me brothers and sisters... mostly the sisters though." -
"Cate Blanchett, upon viewing LOTR slashfic on the net." -
"How Porn Got Its Groove Back." -
"Well, with the clues of 'porn' and 'love', I'm going to guess Linda Lovelace for the actress, Then the 'we are porn again' reminds me of 'we are borg', so I'm thinking the movie is something like 'Star Trek, Deep Throat Nine.'" -
(Once again, the use of logic gets a Quizling nowhere. -AL)
"Good grief. WTF does Larry Flynt have to do with love? I've had stories published in Hustler before--trust me, there is no love involved. Bondage, underage sex, dominance issues but no love." -
(It's a two-part answer. The first part of the answer ties directly to the theme. The porn reference was just an added bonus, y'know? -AL)
"Did she really say Porn again? Did someone misspell that? Does it involve the pornographic bible? Can I watch the movie?" -
(Yes, no, no, sure what else is Netflix for? -AL)
"Whenever it's the end of a long night out and my hair is a little wild and my lipstick and eye make-up is a bit disheveled and smeared I call it my Courtney Love look. I don't know if she is the answer to this question, but it seemed like a good a time as any to share." -
Correct Answer: Courtney Love in The People vs. Larry Flynt.
3. What is the tennis terminology for a match's starting score of zero to zero?
"Anna Kournikova." -
(No, that's more like the finishing score. Rawr. -CV)
"Wuv, twue wuv." -
(+1, The Princess Bride. -AL)
"Love... exciting and new... come aboard, we're expecting you..." -
(+1, The Love Boat. -CV)
"Once a British guy in a gift shop called me "love". I was 14. I nearly swooned. Does that make me lame?" -
(Yup. -CV)
"how much love can there be between two sweaty people lobbing stuff at each other... wait, nevermind." -
"You know, I'm surprised Davis Love wasn't on this quiz." -
(Yeccch, golf. -AL)
"Do you know what 'endless love' is? Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis." -
(+1, personal foul. -CV)
"All you need is love, unless you're playing tennis. Then you're not getting anywhere." -
"L! is for the way you'll lose to me!
O! is for obnoxious victories!
V! is threats of violence always met by frightened silence!
E! is estimation of your athletic degradation!
LOVE! Is how our tennis match begins - (I) LOVE! To tally up my every win -
I am the best at playing tennis - my winning streak is close to Guiness -
LOVE! Watch out- my serve's got spin!" -
"Love all. Which I'm sure
(True. Unless you're one of those jerks in Pod Six. -CV)
"Or, as they say it down south, 'Love, y'all.'" -
Correct Answer: Love-all.
"Something which John McEnroe never understood; he was more like 'hate all -- especially the umpires'." -
(Tennis has umpires? -CV)
4. What is the full name of Springfield's local minister in the television show "The Simpsons"?
"Sometimes you feel like a nut... sometimes you don't... Almond Joy's got nuts... Mounds don't" -
(True. Irrelevant, but true. -CV)
"Stampy!" -
"Oral Roberts" -
(Huh huh, you said "oral". -CV)
"I saw Springfield and thought 'RICK!' and now my panties are on the ceiling fan." -
"all I can think about is last night's episode which featured Homer skiing down a mountain shouting, 'Stupid sexy Flanders!'" -
"it's weird how the simpsons is on at 6pm weekdays both in australia and in england." -
(... -CV)
"I think he has a geeky first name like Tibereus. Tibereous Lovejoy. Yay!" -
(Actually, you're thinking of Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the starship Enterprise. -CV)
"A few years ago, I got a fortune in a fortune cookie that said, 'Bad times go away and joy shall come in their place.' I always wondered if Joy was hot." -
(Maybe... -CV)
"Reverend Loveboys. He got transferred to Springfield from Boston, you see..." -
"I'd be that apathetic about religion, too, if I had to deal with Ned Flanders. The man's a spiritual chihuahua." -
"Reverend Timothy
"Arthur: What sort of man are you who can summon up brimstone and fire without flint or tinder?
Reverend Lovejoy: I...am a Reverend.
Arthur: By what name are you known?
Reverend Lovejoy: There are some who call me...Tim?" -
(+1, clever. -CV)
Correct Answer: Reverend Timothy Lovejoy.
5. Let's put James Earl Jones, George C. Scott, and the country music goodness of Slim Pickens together. Add one nuke. Apply two titles. What do you have?
"Dear Penthouse, I recently had an experience I just had to write and tell you about...." -
"I just misread 'apply two titles' as 'apply two titties.'" -
(I knew we'd get somebody. -CV)
"James Earl Jones is BANNED from my workplace... No love for Darth Vader!" -
(How can you ban James Earl Jones? Do you work at the Jedi Temple or something? -CV)
"Dr. Strangelove or something something bomb something" -
(Fairly good. You get +0.31. -CV)
"As much as I love The Lion King, I wish that it hadn't been created. Why? Because then James Earl Jones could have played the voice of Aslan." -
(Hey, there's nothing wrong with being typecast as a lion. He should have done both parts. -CV)
"This is the only Pink Panther movie I did not like. Peter Sellers was fine, but the other actors just did not make me believe they were French Gendarmes." -
"GENTLEMEN! You cannot fight in there, THIS IS THE WAR ROOM!" - Yes, all of you know who you are.
"for some reason I have a mental picture of a man with a cowboy hat riding past with his legs straddling a bomb. Please tell me I haven't gone insane and am now making crap up in my head and calling it real." -
(Tee hee hee... -CV)
"Wait...James Earl Jones was in 'Dr. Strangelove?' When did that happen?" -
(Sure he was. Check the scene where Peter Sellers reveals that he is his own father. Priceless. -CV)
"The first time I saw that movie was at a church lock-in where they also showed 'A Clockwork Orange' and 'Apocalpyse Now.' Since I kept leaving the TV room to do other things, for years I had this movie in my head that was a mixture of the three, a sort of 'Doctor Apocalpyse Orange.'" -
"Dr. Strangelove. When I first saw it, I read the title as 'Stanglove' and I was like, 'Idiots don't even know where to space, it's Stan Glove.'" Then I felt really stupid.
As I did just now, rereading this post, when 'Stanglove' became 'stag love' and I went 'Woah! Crazy animagus slash, anyone?'" -
(That's right, kids. Reading Is Fundamental. -CV)
Correct Answer: Dr. Strangelove, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb.
6. So, what's your opinion on Valentine's Day?
"I strongly believe that it occurs every 14 February." -
"cherry cordial Hershey's kisses are yummy!" -
"Mmmmm, chocolate-covered pity sex... " -
"Love is a many-splendored thing! Love is like oxygen! Love lifts us up where we belong! All you need is love!" -
(No more iTunes for you; you're cut off. -CV)
"It's redder than Communist China. The world looks like a tomato vomited. I only want to see that much blood watching CSI or reenacting the Crusades." -
"A day when we glorify people getting massacred. Kinda like Christinaty in a way." -
"everyone knows Feb. 15th is the real holiday, Half-Price Chocolate Day!" -
"
" - "Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If you have a Valentine's date,
I hope (s)he gives you herpes." -
(Ah,
"I was asked by a very obnoxious girl if I "had a Valentine." I laughed very loudly in her face. It wasn't till I got home that I realized I did have a Valentine: Gin." -
'I've been drunk since noon." -
"When I think about romance, the last thing I want to think about is a overweight flying toddler coming at me with a weapon." -
"I'm going to be the first ever female package master next year." -
(Attention all males: if you need your package mastered,
"I'm sure by now you've heard of the movement to make March 14th 'Steak and BJ day', as a means of evening the score for all the torture men supposedly put themselves through for women for Valentine's Day. I say, as a woman, you really don't have to put yourselves through the wringer. I'm sure I speak for most, if not all, women when I say we'd be perfectly happy with changing February 14th to 'Chocolate and Cunnilingus Day'. Forget roses, diamonds, cards, stuffed animals--forget all that stuff. Just bring some chocolate and your tongue and we'll all be happy." -
(So let it be written; so let it be done. -CV)
"The bitter chick in me despises its hearts and flower and pink. The single chick in me is glad she doesn't have to mess with all that crap. The fat chick in me counts down the hours until the candy goes on sale." -
Correct Answer: "Opinion? I'm married, I'm not allowed an opinion." -
And that's it for this week, folks. Hopefully you all got lots of chocolate on sale cheap last Wednesday & have slept off your sugar comas over the weekend. We'll see you tomorrow with a fresh batch of sweet tasty Quiz goodness!
Rock on,
AL&CV&C.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 07:49 am (UTC)"The emperor works behind Darth Vader, he doesn't actually stand in front...I say that in fear of getting hit with a lot of buckshot." --George Lucas, last week. No, I'm not kidding.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 07:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 07:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 07:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:05 am (UTC)Fine, you want proof?
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/391407p-331986c.html
Second headline, "For Lucas, the empire strikes out," second-to-last paragraph.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:06 am (UTC)http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/downloads/files/Bob%20Rivers%20-%20Cheney's%20Got%20a%20Gun.mp3
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:06 am (UTC)(No more iTunes for you; you're cut off. -CV)
Wasn't that a quote from Moulin Rouge, though? :P
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:25 am (UTC)Well..was he from Yorkshire? If so, yes. If, however, you were in Sheffield...good on you.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:54 am (UTC)This only proves that the internet is a bad influence. I am shamed.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:56 am (UTC)Hey, in the land of Christinaty, we do NOT massacre people. We give them ice cream.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 08:59 am (UTC)(thanks for the +1 anyway, even if it is only +1/3 (and probably +1/8 after taxes).
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 09:04 am (UTC)To
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 09:13 am (UTC)But then I felt ashamed and decided I had a lot more self-respect... >.>
no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 09:16 am (UTC)*goes off to find a Christian friend*