LJ Daily Answers: 12 December 2005

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"I procrastinate about everything except the ljdq. What does that say about me?" - darksky23

It says that we inspire you to new levels of responsibility. And that makes us feel good.

Because it's the holiday season, the theme is obviously money, because that's what Christmas is about. Money. And lots of it.

Ok, that's not what it's really about. It's about giving, and being good to one another, and good will towards men, and Jesus and Santa and reindeer and stuff. But let's face it, we'd all rather have money. Don't even try to deny it. Yes, you, there in the third row. I see the dollar signs flashing in your beady little eyes even as we speak. And so we bring to you The Currency Quiz.



1. Which baseball pitcher is credited with starting the tradition of covering their lips when discussing strategy on the pitcher's mound in 1993?

"I'm not going to whine about not knowing about sports ...." - trishalynn

(WELL THANK GOD. -AL&C&CV)

"I'm only familiar with baseball as an euphemism for homosexual intercourse." - fiftyeighthours

(Uhh ... I'm not touching that one. -C)

"Damn you and your sport questions! I have no choice but to make a dirty joke about covering your lips on the pitcher's mound!" - maggiebloome

(Fine by me. Go ahead, make the joke. *tap foot* Whenever you're ready... -C)

"Covering his lips with what? The catcher's?" - hellpaladin2183

"Monica Lewinsky? aw come on you know Bill had her wear a catchers mask at least once." - sestree

(-1 for that mental image. *shudder* -C)

"I always got upset at not being able to read the pitcher's lips after Schilling out $80 for a ticket." - buzz

"In communist Russia, strategies steal you!" - kestrel127

"It's not like they're giving out top secret military information. More like, 'OK, here's the plan. I'm going to pitch the ball over the plate. Got that? Good. Now here comes the really important part: you have to catch it! And I'm probably going to shake my money-maker before hand so don't get freaked out.'" - calico321

(+1 for the theme-appropriate pun. -C)

"I Don't Give a Darn! Wait, he's the shortstop." - unamundamour

(+1, Abbott and Costello. -C)

(Alternative explanations for the covering of lips:)
"Oh that pitcher wasn't discussing baseball strategy - he was discussing where the next orgy was going to be. Those professional baseball players sure do love them some smex!" - diefbaby
"Doc Gooden. He didn't want anyone to know about the drug deal going down." - richcsigs
"it had something to do with the tobacco juice running down his lips, not strategy..." - grayhawkfh
"Actually, it wasn't the Big Unit that started it, it was his catcher started covering his own mouth. Because, you know... randy johnson." - thepikey
"It's just after all that chewing tobacco and sunflower seeds his breath was kind of ripe. So he covered his mouth as a courtesy to the others who came out to the mound to talk with him." - pheltzer

(Are you kidding? There's no courtesy in baseball! -C)

"It took Major League Baseball until 1993 to discover lipreading? Holy hell, no wonder it's a laughingstock of a sport." - lots42
"The idea of putting one's hand over one's lips to discuss strategy didn't catch on in baseball until 1993?! Man, steroids really are bad for the brain." - peaseblossom03

"1993? Really? You mean they've been playing professional baseball for well over 100 years and then finally had this brilliant idea in 1993? How the hell does anyone even know that? Can they pinpoint the specific game that he started doing it in? When he did it, was it like some huge revelation to the baseball world? Do you think grizzled, old pitchers who lost critical Championship games shot themselves after realizing you could do that? Was some old man sitting in a rocker in Philadephia telling his wife that he's been saying they should've done that the whole time? I wonder if the commentators had anything to say about that. 'Would you look at that, Joe, Schilling is covering his lips, presumably to prevent the batter from reading them. What a novel idea!'" - leitch71

(Awesome rant. +1. -AL)

"I'll be damned if this isn't a naughty question." - fizrep

(I think you're damned anyway, but hey, whatever... -C)

"I'm not sure. With a few tweaks, however, the question becomes 'Which singer is credited with starting the tradition of not covering their tits when on national television.' to which I think everyone knows the answer." - the_zaniak

"Mick Jagger. He had to use a very large mitt." - drbear

"The shape of a pitcher's lips is very important in determining how well it pours. My parents used to have a juice pitcher that persistently dribbled down the side, and if I tried to get Curt with them about it they would point out that it only cost a Schilling." - sasscat

(I will refrain from beating you with the Anti-Pun Club at this time only because I know you currently have a broken leg. -AL)

Correct Answer: Curt Schilling



2. What flamboyant American poet, author of The Cantos, was brought up on treason charges after WWII but committed to an institution instead of facing trial?

"Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. (I'm still stuck on candy.)" - ginalin

(Aren't we all. -AL&CV&C)

"Y'know, last week, I knew EVERYthing. It's like I changed the channel from "Wheel of Fortune" to "Jeopardy"" - motown_deserter

"A flamboyant poet? Is this the opposite of a woe-is-me life-is-so-haaaaard poet? I know that worked a long time ago, but these days we just call them emo and tell them to STFU." - calico321
"You mean poets are flamboyant? I thought they were rather conservative, quiet types. Except those limerick writing guys. They seem to get around to quite a lot of restrooms." - unamundamour

"I thought the Brits had the lock on flamboyant poets" - marasca, puredeadthingy

"I hope he rotted in prison, damn poem-writing bastard!" - dracothelizard

(-1 for lack of reading comprehension. He didn't go to prison. -C)

"It's a good thing he was committed, he would have taken a Pounding in that trial." - buzz

"Excellent! Nothing feeds a poet's muse more than some good emo-filled institutionalized years." - wendynat

"Liberace" - dazeydevyne, richcsigs, kokopellinelli, crystalcazzie
"Bob Dole" - lyme
"Gonzo." - profsparky

"Hemingway?" - akiyasan, squeegibo
"Mark Twain." - lots42
(-1 for not knowing the difference between a poet and a novelist. -C)

"The greatest American poet was Bob Dylan." - dhud98

(-1 for speaking of Bob Dylan in the past tense. -C)

"Ezra £" - grapefruitzzz, renee12321

"Skiddeth bus
And splasheth us
Goddamn." - zihuatanejo

Correct Answer: Ezra Pound

"(or as he's known in Europe, Ezra Kilogram)" - drbear



3. By the time it is usually discovered, the skeleton of Echinarachnius parma is more commonly referred to as what?

(This one completely stumped you all. Numerous stabs in the dark:)

"Mummy?" - timydamonkey
"Crude oil." - trishalynn, sweetpea86
"Unleaded gasoline" - obsidianshadows
"French peanut butter" - coppertone
"Dust." - miss_katelynne & many others
"My mother-in-law's meatloaf" - sestree
"Sea cucumber." - jazzminarino
"brontosaurus?" - twilight_angel

(Some people tried to sound it out:)

"An arachnid is a spider. Parma is a town in Italy, giving its name to the delicious parma ham. Which leads me to ... Italian Spider-Ham bone. Um ..." - germankitty
"OK, I tried to look at the name for a clue, but all I ended up with was 'parmesan cheese.'" - pocketmouse
"Echinarachnius? Is that some kind of freaky spider/echidna hybrid MUTANT?! With eight legs and SPIKES?! I'm going to go hide under my bed now." - maggiebloome

(Summarizing the above answers... -AL)

"Spiky Cheese Spider." - peaseblossom03

(And a tiny minority actually knew the answer:)

"Sand dollars. They're purple and fuzzy in their live state, possibly making them cute enough for chaosvizier to eat." - soimpossible414

"I'm never letting chaosvizier into my kitchen." - sskipstress

(Wise. Very wise. -AL)

"generally hoarded by the Sand People" - the_zaniak

"You know, it's really hard to find these in one whole piece. And they're not even worth a dollar! When I was a kid, me and my sister would spend hours on the beach looking for these because we thought they were rare and worth something. Another childhood wasted, I guess." - fallendebre

"You know, I've learned the strippers don't really like have sand dollars put in their garters. They complain about the roughness and how it's not 'real' money." - hellpaladin2183

"Is it called the sand Euro in some countries?" - csflick

(Different subspecies. -AL)

"See, now sand dollars, there's a tradition for you. You go to the beach, you get one, you show your mom, she pretends to be excited, you bring it home, you forget about it, and twenty years later you find it in your cigar box of keepsakes and realize you're getting old and you'll never write the Great American Novel, then you get drunk. See? Traditional." - mightygodking

Correct Answer: Sand Dollar



4. In the epic fantasy series "The Wheel Of Time", the erstwhile Lord Of The Morning now speaks to which character?

(Best thing about this question? It unleashed TORRENTS of Robert Jordan hatred, in which we frolicked like fire elementals in a stream of fresh lava. Robert Jordan, how we hate you. -AL&CV)

"The Seneschal of Making Millions by Writing Series that Never End." - rikchik

"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA You're asking me to remember such detail? I can't even remember what number book they're up to (12, 14, 17?). He's probably one that died and was resurrected. Numerous times. Ohwait, THAT WOULD BE THE MAJORITY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THAT SERIES." - elaran

"I tried to read the first book. After I got halfway through it and nothing had happened yet I threw it away. Which was possibly a bad idea, since it belonged to my ex and he might want it back someday." - the_wanlorn

(I strongly believe you did your ex- a favor. Which, depending on how the breakup went, you might consider a bad idea. -AL)

"There is not enough time left before the END OF THE UNIVERSE for me to wade through those damn books." - pisica

"I never read that series. From what I've heard it's some 10 books about a guy named Rand brooding. I can't stand anyone being that emo for that long." - peaseblossom03

"Huh? Wha? Sorry, I fell asleep during the question. Wasn't it about the Wheel zzzzz...." - fizrep

"... I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it would imply that I read the steaming coils of crap that come out of the pen of Robert Jordan. Next question." - falar

(Absolutely correct. In fact, have a +1. -AL)

"WHO THE HELL CARES?!! THIS SERIES DRAGS ON FOREVER AND NOTHING FREAKING HAPPENS FOR HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF PAGES I AM SO PROFOUNDLY SICK OF THIS SERIES!!!" - thepikey

(Let it all out, man. We're here for you. -AL)

"Who the hell reads this series any more? I gave up on Rand "Grouchy-butt" Al-Thor and his trio of strong-willed women and the Aes Sedai and the Aiel and...bitter? Moi? Why should I be bitter, after spending moola on six books only to realize that this series _would never end_?? Besides, Jordan killed off the best character in book one (or was it book two? Do I even care any more?). Turns out Moraine was the luckiest one in the bunch, eh?" - etumukutenyak

(All right, all right. Finally moving on:)

"'Erstwhile?' 'Erstwhile?!' Who on earth uses that?" - kishuu_arashi
"I refuse to answer this question due to use of the word 'erstwhile.'" - unamundamore

"If a Lord speaks to a character, but no geeks read the book, does it matter?" - marasca

"Arghh. I've just a flashback to Lord Of The Dance. Out of my head, Flatley, you pretentious, over-primped poseur!" - jonem

"I know Lucifer is sometimes called Morningstar, so I'm guessing he speaks to all the souls he has control of. 'I'm sorry, what's that? Oh, it's hot? You're in agony? Can't stand the 24/7 N*Sync? Guess I'm going a good job then. Think I'll give myself a raise and go eat some babies.'" - fruitoftheloon

"The Duke of Coffee, but only with monosyllabic words. Jesus--it's too fucking early for conversation!" - sweetpea86

"My husband's Lord of the Morning tries to speak to me all the time, but since I'm the Mega-Bitch of the Morning it usually doesn't get to say a whole lot." - calico321

(*blinks* Well, I'd say that wins the TMI Award for this week. -AL)

Correct Answer: Rand Al-Thor



5. Which northern constellation includes the stars Vega and Sulafat and encompasses the Ring Nebula M57?

"Uranus" - miss_katelynne

(Yes, in every space question, someone always has to go there. -CV)

"Orion was always my favorite constellation" - marasca

(We'll be sure to keep that in mind when we do our "marasca's Favorite Things" quiz theme. -CV)

"A northern constellation with money in it... screw it, I'll just switch to Chinese constellations and say Xuan Wu, the Black Turtle of the North." - rikchik

"NCC-1701" - darkeros

(You'll find that the Enterprise was a Constitution-class starship, not a Constellation-class starship. But props for a good try. -CV)

"Is it the one that looks like boobs?" - kestrel127

(I'm clearly not looking at the same constellations you're looking at. And I'm jealous now. -CV)

"I read M57 as MST, and I really wanted to say the Satellite of Love!" - twilight_angel

(We'll save that question for the not-too-distant future. -CV)

"The Ring Nebula always looked more like an eye to me. When I was younger, I thought it must be Sauron." - coppertone

(+1, because you're right: -CV)

"I'd like Suzanne Vega's nebula to encompass my fat sula, ifyouknowwhatImean." - fizrep

"my inner geek says it's the Lyre. I forget the pretty Latin name." - jessicamariek

"Where is Lyra money? Do you mean Lira? Once, again, I have to point you to a dictionary. Y=/=i." - judith_s

(And I shall point you to our dear friend, Mr. Homonym. He lets us get away with stupid shit like that. He's cool. Not as cool as our Chinese colleague Pun Yat Sen, but still. -CV)

"Lyra, isn't that what Italians do when they see an attractive woman?" - buzz

(It's what they used to pay for an attractive woman too. -CV)

Correct Answer: Lyra



6. How much are you worth?

"Are you propositioning me? I accept." - shannon_sue

(Ladies and gentlemen, the line forms here. -CV)

"Hmmm well there are days my wife tells me I can be replaced with a cockroach... so what's that like negative 3 bucks?" - pheltzer

(Demon WP Roach Control: $12.95. There you go. -CV)

"2.5 monkeys." - undeadgoat

(Monkeys really should be a form of currency and/or barter. I want in on the monkey commoditites exchange. -CV)

"Black Market Parts Value: $7,856
According to my employer: $16/hr
According to my kid: $ He'll tell you after he opens his CHristmas presents" - dazeydevyne

"Yesterday, I was pricing myself at work. I put a good 10 or 11 $3.19 stickers on my finger." - droptheleash622

"Well, if you were to trade me for butter, you'd be able to baste a hell of a lot of turkeys. Or wrestle." - sweetpea86

"I would guess not much after AL reads all my puns." - buzz

"There is no price to be placed upon a single person. We are all worth nothing and everything." - cats_haven

(You may be correct. Unfortunately, metaphysics and philosophy are only worth about $5.99 in the Crappy Books aisle at Borders. -CV)

"I'd sell my soul for a cup of good coffee." - uncut_diamond

"And according to my lovely university, I'm worth a bit over $4,500 this semester." - kizoku

"if someone offered me a million dollars to sleep with them, I'd probably do it." - jtersesk

"I once told me dad that I wished I had all the money in the world. He explained to me that if I had it all no one else would use it as money and it would be worthless. Then he called me a dumbass and made me get back to math lessons." - fizrep

"Nowhere near as much as chlaal!" - the_wanlorn

(Technically true. She is currently worth 1.5 persons' worth. Maybe more. -CV)

*makes Six Million Dollar Man noises* - deltashade

Correct Answer: Well, why don't you all just click here and find out?



And there you have it. Go forth now and spend your hard-earned currency on frivolities. Or better yet, just send us money, because that would be cool. We like money. Except for lira; no one uses that crap anymore since they invented The Euro. Euros are good, though. Better than Yugos. Worth more, too. But that's irrelevant.

As always, go out and share the joyous joyfulness that is ljdq with everyone you know. Spreading joy is the reason for the season. And we're full of the stuff.

Thanks again to chlaal, who continues to help out as angledge works non-stop to save New Orleans from the forces of darkness, or something. And thanks to everyone who keeps on playing and bringing in the comedy. We love you all. Except the jerks in Pod Six.

Rock on!

AL&CV&C