LJ Daily Answers: 21 November 2005

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Because nothing says equal opportunity like following a penis quiz with a vagina quiz, here we go.



1. Back in the 60's, this orange-flavored drink was promoted by saying that astronauts drank it. What was it?

"Screwdrivers. The vodka helped them feel like they were floating, and was part of the training for the whole zero-gravity thing. At least that's how *I* feel after a couple of screwdrivers." - jennnlee

(Hey bartender! I think jennnlee needs a refill! -AL)

"Irn Bru! Made with real girders, you know." - jonem

"One easy to carry drink for the astronauts, one really gross drink for the rest of mankind." - charliesmum

"WTF d'ya mean by 'orange-flavored'? Are astronauts to good for the real thing? Do they leave the Earth and decide to never again sully their lips with fruit grown from good honest DIRT?! Damn astronauts, get the hell of ma lawn." - ashteth

"What is orange, furry, has prehensile toes, and says 'Just add water'? ... An orangu-TANG. *badum-tsss*" - babybokal

"Tang, the sickest stuff on earth when people drink it hot. I remember camping trips with church groups when I was younger, and the choices for night drinks were hot cocoa or hot Tang. I'm still in awe that people chose what tastes like steaming hot piss over hot chocolate." - dispassion

"Tang. I loved me some Tang when I was a kid. I haven't seen any Tang in a long while; if they're still making it, you know it's not as good as the Tang you used to get. Mmmmm, Tang." - lyzz13

(Read this with a dirty mind, like I did, & it's awesomely funny. -AL)

"Imagine the astronaut's disappointment when it tasted like oranges instead..." - elbiesee

"I haven't seen any Tang in Japan, but there's an orange flavored drink called Natchan. Add an s in front, and it too fits the theme." - marasca

"Tang. Which no power on Earth could ever convince me to drink. It probably scared away the moon men.
Moon Men: Gkfiewufnviej*beepbeep-taaaaaang*!
Translation: Great Sacred Luna, these barbarians have reduced oranges to powder and mingled them with foul additives! What else might they be capable of?? AIYEEEE!" - miladygrey

(LJDQ Fun Fact:)
"'Tang', named for the noise the metal lid made when it hit the side of your space helmet. I think I read that in Buzz Aldrin's biography. - sweetpea86

"It's Tang! Tang goes with ketchup, with milk, with caviar, with roast quail, with squid tentacles, with fried chicken fingers, with mashed potatoes, with bananas, with prune juice, with..." - ANONYMOUS

(We think it's safe to guess that our anonymous Quizling is not a chef. -CV&AL&C)

"OMG Tang is the nectar of the gods. Seriously I go through gallons of this stuff in the average week. I'm surprised my tongue and lips aren't permanently stained an unnatural shade of orange." - wolffepsyche

"I grew up on Tang. Now I'm orange. And I never get any Snatch! I blame NASA!!!" - greenmansgrove

"As Bob Hope said, Tang's for the memories." - dhud98

Correct Answer: Tang

"Which is now advertised as 'Be like a sailor on furlough. Get some Tang.'" - zihuatanejo



2. Brad Pitt stars as the almost incomprehensible boxer Mickey O'Neil in which Guy Ritchie film?

"The only Guy Ritchie film I know is Swept Away. I and I will hate you forever for reminding me of that movie. It was almost 2 hours of my life I will never see again. I could've spent that time doing LJDQ, or picking out bellybutton lint, and it would've been more fun & more productive." - judith_s

(-1 for damning LJDQ with faint praise. -C)

"Snatch! He's a baaaad mutha... SHUT YO MOUTH." - utforsker

"please, please, please, let it be Rocky VI. Brad Pitt getting punched by an old man would be hilarious." - ctakahara

"I got in so much trouble because of that movie. Mom: So, what are you doing? Me: Snatch. Mom: WHAT? Me: A bunch of the guys are getting it. Mom: WHAT? Me: ahhh.. . err . . movie?" - uncut_diamond

"Okay, you don't have a sports question. But you have a question about a movie about sports. I call shenanigans and refuse to answer on the grounds that it's still sports." - deltashade

"Ewww, Brad Pitt. And as a woman, I believe I am alone in that opinion." - profsparky

(You certainly don't have much in common with prettypinkkitty or jessicamariek...)

"Is he half-naked? Otherwise, I don't care." - jessicamariek

(prettypinkkitty, would you like to take this one?)

"He's like the perfect dude - takes his clothes off frequently and you don't need to understand him!" - prettypinkkitty

"Hey, isn't that Madonna's husband? There's a sort of logical progression from that to Brad Pitt being a woman, but I'm not able to bring it down to a level that regular humans can understand." - wendynat

(That's okay. I don't think any regular humans read LJDQ anyway. -C)

"Why would you name your child Guy?! Would you name it Gal? Boy? Girl? Lass? No!" - sometimespez
"Lazy people name their children 'Guy'." - sweetpea86
"How unorginal is the name Guy anyway. I mean it's just one step above Tarzan calling his son Boy, or what he called him later." - mcclintock

"Isn't Brad Pitt almost always incomprehensible due to the fact that he can't really act? Or is that just me?" - blackpoplars

(I believe we lack sufficient data to properly evaluate your acting skills. Your comprehensibility, on the other hand -- no comment. -C)

"Aren't we not supposed to talk about Fight Club?" - kizoku

(You are correct: we're not supposed to talk about it, because it's the wrong answer. But lots of you did anyway:)

"The first rule of Mickey Rourke movies is don't talk about Mickey Rourke movies, because nobody can understand you anyway." - drbear
"I'm sorry, but the first rule of Brad Pitt movies is that you don't talk about Brad Pitt movies." - cscottd
"The first rule of LJDQ: You do NOT talk about LJDQ!" - ANONYMOUS

(Wrong! You should talk about LJDQ at every possible opportunity. -C)

"Snatch. I can't hear that word without thinking about the line in Angel Heart; 'Is that your gun in her snatch?' That gets me thinking about the anime gun pr0n rape scene in Guy: Awakening the Demon. That gets me thinking about Legend of the Overfiend, and that just squicks me the hell out. It's all your fault my BF's not getting laid tonight, LJDQ!" - deza

(Dear deza's BF: Sorry 'bout that. Our bad. -AL&CV&C)

"Snatch. hee. I giggle every time I see the DVD at my work.
Me: Snatch *giggle*
Co-worker: What are you, 5?" - lyzz13

Correct Answer: Snatch



3. Who was the clever, although perhaps minimally clad, servant of the Lord Marquis de Carabas?

(I have to say, the best part about the answers to this question is that THIS is where most people figured out the theme. -AL)

"Puss in Boots...oh good lord..." - kittiekorn
"Puss- ah, I see where this is getting." - reenjalas
"Downhill. Fast." - nitasee
"...is this a sex quiz?" - doomgirl

"I think we should all have clever, although perhaps minimally clad servants. I propose that all mine be female." - hellpaladin2183

(A FINE suggestion. -AL&C&CV)

"Count De Money?" - utforsker

(De MonAY! -CV)

"Minimally clad? God, tell me it wasn't William Shatner." - wendynat

"Your mother. Oh wait, she's my servant. And fits quite well with the current theme!" - sporkninja

"Why is he minimally clad? Did he wash all his clothes with a red sock and feels he's too much of a man to wear pink? Is it even a man?" - crystalcazzie

"" - soimpossible414 & others

"A tale forever ruined for me and yet made somehow disturbingly attractive by one Mssr Banderas, damn his eyes. I don't want to be lusting after a tiny orange cat anymore than I want to be lusting after Marvin the Paranoid Android." - nextian

(Speaking for many, many, many of you:)

"From Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere? I don't remember him having a minimally clad servant." - richcsigs

(People, Neil Gaiman uses tons of literary references in his works. If he has a character with an unusual name, you can be sure it's referring to something. -AL)

"Puss in Boots? Although I'm now picturing him as a servant to the Marquis de Sade, and those boots are taking on frightening connotations..." - jonem

"And by the way, the titles Lord and Marquis are redundant. Every Marquis is a Lord, although every Lord wouldn't be a Marquis. It's sort of like a bad class based logic question." - wolffepsyche

(We hereby do confer upon thee the honourable rank of Geek Of The Week, and all negative ones associated with that rank. -AL&CV)

"Clever AND naked? Its gotta be me." - cerulgalactus

Correct Answer: Puss In Boots



4. Which Swedish car manufacturer also provides materials and components for aircraft, boats, and even the European Space Program?

"Ok, I just got the theme, and I'm embarrassed to know you people. Everyone knows that that 'vOlvO is nowhere near equivalent to 'vUl-vA." - judith_s

(Apparently chaosvizier and I don't qualify as part of "everyone." -C)

"The Swedes make cars?" and "Europe has a space program?" - waaaaay too many of you, who are apparently not in touch with world affairs (or else are incurable wiseasses)
"Saab." - waaaaay too many of you, who apparently didn't catch on to the theme
"Ikea." - waaaaay too many of you, who not only didn't get the theme but apparently are unclear on the difference between "car manufacturer" and "furniture store."
"ABBA." - waaaaay too many of you, who not only didn't get the theme but apparently are under the impression that car manufacturing involves a lot of disco

"You forgot 18-wheelers! You've never seen an 18-wheeled vulva before?" - ctakahara

(Note to self: hang out with ctakahara more. -C)

"ABBA Motors, Inc. The cars come with a complimentary CD and pedals designed to accomodate platform heels." - jonem

"Europe has a space program? What do they do, go to the top of the Eiffel tower and jump up?" - lots42

"The Swedish remake of a well-known film was entitled "Düde, Where's My Vølvo?" The sequel of that was entitled 'Ooooooh, Where's My Clitoris?'" - david_deacon

"I have visions of the Swedish Chef building cars. And they're all pintos naturally, since they'd all explode. 'Eh, zee peentu! It is zee must merfeluoos cer ifer! Vhuups! Deed ve-a furget a pert? Nu metter! Crunk it up! Buum! Bork Bork Bork!'" - wolffepsyche

"I really want to make fun of the dialect, but I have Swedish friends who are bigger than me." - puredeadthingy

"Citroen. Because I like saying that. Citroen. (Can you put on the umlauts for me?)" - alexmegami

(No. Especially since Citroen isn't Swedish. But even aside from that, put on your own damn umlauts. Here, you can borrow some from jelymo:)

"Thë Svëdïsh mäkë cärs? Dü thëy cömë ünässëmblëd thrü Ikëä? PS: I lüvë ümläüts." - jelymo

"I roll." - crystalcazzie, rikchik

(+1 for ancient-language geekery. Your high-school Latin teachers must be so proud. -C)

"Acme. They also provide a wide array of affordable anti-roadrunner weaponry, by the way." - cscottd

"My ex's dad had a Volvo station wagon from the 60's. Thanks for reminding me of him. 'Cause, you know, baby elephant trunks are something I *want* to be thinking of at the moment." - rivetkitten

(And the spiffington Award for Total Gibberish this week goes to ... rivetkitten! -CV&C)

"What, does every company with a Saab story get their own LJDQ question now or something?" - drachechan

(-1 for the wrong answer, but +1 for punnage. Just count yourself lucky it wasn't angledge scoring this question. -C)

"WTF does Saab have to do with this week's theme? Unless maybe it's the noise chaosvizier makes when he contemplates his sex life after coming up with this..." - deza

(While I commend your bravery in dealing such a low blow to CV, in fairness I must point out that he didn't come up with this week's theme.... -C)

"despite the gynal sound of its name, its logo is the symbol for man. I wonder if their station wagons are gender confused. New for 2006: The Volvo Ru Paul." - zihuatanejo

Correct Answer: Volvo

"'Boxy, but safe' indeed." - feste



5. Which British musical artist's new single "King Under Of The Mountain" entered the UK charts as #4? (ed: Oops.)

"I'm old. I have no idea. The only British singer I can think of right now is Sting, so I'll go with that. Now, get off my lawn." - nitasee
"Sting? Is Sting a euphemism for a part of the female anatomy? It seems more masculine to me, but..." - soimpossible414

"Charlotte Church, who saw considerably less fame with her previous single, 'I'm Trying To Sing About Jesus, Please Quit Voting My Ass 'Rear Of The Year'.'" - ctakahara

(The clueless quizlings tune in with their wild guesses:)

"Elvis" - dhud98, guxx, drachechan
"Vanilla Ice" - uncut_diamond
"Prince Charles" - germankitty, jaebird
"Ozzy! *throws up the horns*" - thepikey
"I'm gonna guess Seal because he's British (right?) and married to Heidi Klum." - lotusbiosm
"I have no idea so I'm just going with the default - Robbie Williams." - sometimespez

"Hole aren't British, are they?" - barbarienne

(No, but props for sticking with the theme. -C)

"Bush. He's British isn't he? Probably not, but I've not heard anything about him in forever and it's about time for him to put something crappy out again." halo4

(+0.5 for getting the right euphemism, but the wrong person. -C)

"Dammit, now we're going to have Lord of the Rings fans crawling out of the woodwork. That's all we need." - alliterator

(How right you are, alas! Read on:)

"Dain, under the tutaledge of Thorin Oakenshield at Erebor." - renee12321
"Thorin Oakenshield" - profsparky, wendynat, cscottd, pride4u2, reenjalas, ooyoumasha

"The Swedish Chef. 'Chocolate.. und de Moose. Chocolate Moose.' Ok, so knowing you guys it's probably Sting, but whatever." - cloakedstoat

(Sweden was the previous question. Try to keep up. -C)

"OMG Get with the programme, Grandad. That, in musical terms, is ancient." - puredeadthingy

(And the wiseasses take issue with chaosvizier's mistyping of the song title:)

"Oh please, we all know he really wants to be a queen. I just wish he'd shut up and come out of the mountain, already." - mistyraven

"That song is about Jesus, isn't it? You know, his body being under the mountain in a cave or something, right? Except I thought the whole point was that the king disappeared. I don't know but I'm calling the ACLU, because I find this question offensive." - blackpoplars

"I thought Grieg was dead." - zihuatanejo
"No idea. But now I have 'Hall of the Mountain King' stuck in my head. Somehow I don't think Edvard Grieg is the right answer. He doesn't sound British." - jennnlee
"Edvard Grieg had a UK chart hit? No, wait, that's 'Hall of the Mountain King' ain't it. Sod." - ashteth

(+1 for classical-music geekery. -C)

Correct Answer: Kate Bush

"and I'm sure we'd love to be mountin' her, or...something." - sasscat



6. What's your favorite country? Why?

"Probably Italy. They drive crazy, eat well, and have Capri. You just can't beat Capri." - lakidaa

"Kenya. Because that's where I can see lions." - deltashade

(You're goddam right about that. -CV)

"The Isle of Lucy. Except their government got some 'splainin' to do." - drbear

"Guilder. No, wait, Florin. No, Guilder. Dammit, I can't choose! Oh, fine, then I'll just start a big war then." - alliterator

"I was trying to come up with a witty answer for this one, but my brain kept being invaded by that song (I think it's by Waylon Jennings' son), called 'Put the O back in Country'." - ANONYMOUS

(Amazingly enough, Canada wins this question. Followed closely by Ireland and Australia. -CV)

"Virgin Islands, because they don't share their tang with just anyone." - judith_s

"Thailand? Because the capital is Bangkok?" - jellyblob

"I'm just going to go with America. Specifically, where I'm from, Kentucky. Why? Because when you're in Northern Kentucky, you're never more than twenty minutes from Big Bone Lick and Beaver Lick. State parks, you perverts." - ctakahara

"Panama! The country that gave us both a stylish hat and a shortcut for big ships. Plus, it forms part of my favourite palindrome: 'A Man, A Plan, A Canal - Panama!'" - jonem

"Djibouti; cus you can shake, shake shake to it." - sometimespez, altoidsaddict

"Germany. Because they have children's books like this: Not Quite Safe For Work, And Yet Still Educational." - renee12321

"What do you call a tree full of naked women? A country." - stevesbabygirl



And there you have it. Tune in again tomorrow when we attempt to pull out of our decline into perversity. Huh huh, I said "pull out".

angledge once again takes this opportunity to deny any involvement with this week's quiz. chlaal takes this opportunity to gleefully jump up and down saying "IT WAS ME! ME, I TELL YOU!" chaosvizier takes this opportunity to pour another gin and tonic and put in another porno in his DVD player.

Rock On!

AL&CV&C