LJ Daily Answers: 17 Oct 05

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"I can't answer any of these right now. Because of that first question, I have "In the Navy" by the Village People stuck in my head. Perhaps when I shake it out (and stop hating you, and I blame you chaosvizier, it must be your fault) I will be able to answer." - dv8dragonfly

Ah, the sweet taste of hate. It makes our week go by that much smoother.

Anyway, this week's theme was hurricanes, because we have no taste. Accept it.



1. What mighty navy was destroyed by a hurricane off the coast of Ireland while retreating from a failed invasion of England?

"NO ONE expects the Spanish Inq- omgwtfsinksink" - woap

Number of quizlings making Monty Python/Spanish Inquisition references: 9

"The great Scottish Navy. A lot of people got kilt in that storm." - dhud98
"You seriously can't call two angry drunk guys and a sack of potatoes a "mighty navy". Do your research, LJDQ. *tut*" - whitetower

"The only one of these I guessed right away. My history degree isn't completely useless! (Goes back to manning cash register.)" - stephe

"Can I request a math question?" - calankh
(You can *request* all you want... -C)
"I vote for more math and science questions, and fewer historical and military questions." - v827
(You can vote all you want... -C)

"Ah, one of those 'divine wind' stories, although the term divine wind just makes me think of a deity passing gas." - nike_victory

"Mighty? They fail to invade England, get pwned by a hurricane, and they're mighty??! Pssh, must be American logic." - sadasi

"They fell prey to one of the classic blunders! One of the most famous is never get involved in a naval war in Britain!" - cmzero

(+1, The Princess Bride.)

"The Old Navy, who were coming back from a fruitless search for the sleeveless fleece." - tofusquirrel

"Failed invasion of England: 250 gold
Going down in naval history as a bunch of losers: 60 gold
Sinking off the coast of Ireland because of a hurricane: 50 gold
giving the Vikings a bad name: priceless" - cats_haven

Correct Answer: The Spanish Armada

"I read that the survivors of the Armada washed up on Ireland's shores and the Irish wouldn't give them up to those dammed English (mainly to piss off the English, not as any altruistic feelings toward the Spanish), and from the descendants of these swarthy Spaniards come the 'Black Irish'. Arrr." - lovellama



2. The 1952 test of the first British atomic bomb was given what code name?

"The Brits have the bomb? Holy fuck, I guess we better stop calling them gap-toothed, limey, cricket-playing, Eastenders watching bastards." - lots42
"'British atomic bomb test,' that's a good one. Where did they test them, anyway? Wales?" - david_deacon

"Operation: I Got Your Cheerio Right 'Ere." - peaseblossom03

"An Atom-Smashing Good Time." - deltashade

"'Hey, Nigel old chap? What kind of name should we give to the old project?'
'Well, Carruthers, how about we name it after Something Tremendously Impressive and Nobly Great?'
'Jolly good idea! How about S.T.I.N.G then?'" - jonem

"Sort of topical at the moment, as the test was performed on October 3rd 1952, but we're about a week out! So yeah, it's topical and it's 'Hurricane'. It's therefore a 'Topical Storm'." - m31andy

(Aren't you glad it's one of those AL-free weeks right now? -CV)

"Trogdor." - profsparky

(I'm pretty sure The Burninator is not British. Although he could have been used when they were burninating all those mad cows. -CV)

"If it wasn't called 'Tempest in a Teacup,' I will be VERY disappointed." - stephe

"Maelstrom in a Teapot." - 3jane

(That good enough for you, stephe? -CV)

"The Westminster Project." - cmzero

"Bomb, Atomic Bomb. It likes its fissile material rapidly assembled into a critical mass, in which a chain reaction begins and grows exponentially, releasing tremendous amounts of energy, not stirred." - alliterator

Correct Answer: Operation Hurricane



3. What 2000 film, starring George Clooney, documents the travails of the ship “Andrea Gail”?

"That would be The Facts of Life: The Movie. Sadly never released to theaters it featured those perky girls having finally left school and making a living on a fishing Trawler. It was quite alot of fun until Tootie was pulled overboard by a rogue wave and they had to rely on the manly strength of Blair to save her." - tarpo

"Does anyone else get irritated by that weird head-bob thing Clooney does when he talks? He's like a life-sized bobblehead doll." - wendynat

"I think it was a bad porno featuring a portly actress named Andrea Gail. It was called 'Motion of the Ocean's Eleven.'" - alliesutherland

"I once met two women named Andrea and Gail and had my own Perfect Storm, if you know what I mean." - richcsigs

(-1, failure to provide detailed photographs and/or video footage. -AL&CV&C)

"Real life foreshadowing, a storm wipes out a ship with a name that is a homonym of a word meaning strong force winds." - stevenmallory04
"If you're going to name your ship Gail, what the hell do you think is going to happen to it anyway? Do you think that would have happened it it was the Andrea Light and Variable from the Southwest at 5 to 10 Knots?" - shrieking_ell

"what's so perfect about a storm that causes the death of Mark Wahlberg -- nevermind. Now I see it." - dorei

"Didn't bother to see it. Saw the storm first hand from the beaches of Massachusetts. Much more impressive than George Clooney and a load of expensive CGI." - darkeros

"I remember the tagline from the trailer, 'They didn't mean to be heroes'. What was so bloody heroic?? They got drunk, ignored the weather report, and sailed off after hours into a darkening sky and massive storm hoping to make a little overtime. In another universe they'd be Darwin Award nominees." - fmh

"I hated that film. I really want to know how it got greenlighted. 'Isn't Twister a movie about a storm?' 'Well, yes, but this one'll be on a boat. They'll be water. It's going to wash over the deck. It will rain up. We'll rent a big tank of water, soak the actors for a month straight...' 'Well, I don't know.' 'Clooney wants to do it.' 'Excellent. You can start next week, then?'" - calankh

"When my brother and I went to go see it, he didn't realize it was based on a true story, and also wasn't paying attention at the beginning with the plaque. He wasn't expecting the ending. I laughed all the way back to the car in the parking lot." - jacesan

Correct Answer: The Perfect Storm



4. A tropical cyclone, with maximum sustained winds exceeding 73 miles per hour and located in the northern Pacific Ocean, is known as what?

"Poncho weather. I got a free poncho today. I was pressing buttons on a vending machine and it gave me one. Aren't I special?" - crystalcazzie

(Where exactly are you where you can get a poncho out of a vending machine? -CV)

"Every time I hear about the Pacific Ocean, I think 'El Nino' with that ~ thing over the n. I remember my childhood days of old when Bill Nye used to say 'El Nino' with the ~ over the n, and I realize I really hate my childhood." - shadowkeeper

"The Mothra Effect." - barbarienne

"Do the Scorpions like to rock you like it?" - tofusquirrel

(Nope. They're more into Question #5. -CV)

"Typhoon: Gin, Anisette, Chapagne, and lime juice, chilled, and served over ice (wasn't sure if you knew this method of consuming the nectar of the Juniper)" - southbucki

(Hmmm... haven't tried that. I'll get back to you with the results. -CV)

"Railroad typhoon, he who cripples the most countries wins!" - mcclintock

"A typhoon. Not to be confused with a tycobb, which crashes into infielders, spikes up, with the sustained smell of liquor in the wind." - captainsblog

"Way back in '76 when I was living on Guam, Super Typhoon Pamela came over the island. I was crammed in my brother's closet with him and my mother of hours on end while my Dad was living it up in Japan, having flown the Navy's planes to safety there. Screw the dependants; just make sure those planes are ok!" - lovellama

Correct Answer: Typhoon



5. What 1975 Bob Dylan song was covered by Ani DiFranco in 2000?

"Who's Bob Dylan?" - kittycatness

"I may get stabbed in the back on a rainy day with a rusted harmonica for admitting this, but bob dylan=crap." - wolffepsyche

"Ahh Ani DiFranco.. One of those artists wrapped in critical light.. but still manages to do what so many Hurricanes do.. Suck and Blow at the same time" - tarpo

"'Bob Dylan...covered by Ani DeFranco' sounds like it belongs in bad folk slashfic." - stephe

(That thought froze up my brain. I will reboot it with whisky. brb -AL)

"MMMBop." - psychoticspy

(-1, Hanson. In fact, make that -2. -CV)

"How many songs must Ani DiFranco cover before you can kill her whole band?
Yes, and how many words must Bob Dylan garble before he can sprekamgahlrnd?
Yes, and how many crappy cop-outs can I give before I'm forever banned?
The answer, my friends, is floatin' in the gin.
The answer is floatin' in the gin." - deltashade

"Hurry, Cain, a song from the perspective of the soon-to-be-dead Abel." - alliterator

(+1, sacrelicious. -CV)

"Um. Hurricane something? Or is *this* the trick question of the bunch where it's nothing to do with hurricanes or tropical storms, but of something similar? Going with that assumption, my answer is 'Tamborine Man'. Because Tamborine Men just blow, man." - m31andy

"Goldfish have no memory, I guess their lives are much like mine. And the little plastic castle is a surprise every time." - calankh

(+1 for quoting one of my favorite Ani lines EVAR. -AL)

"I've never listened to DiFranco, to be honest. I thought you were supposed to be either a lesbian or a disaffected college student to listen to her music?" - dorei

(Neither classification is a prerequisite. -AL)

"....Will they even let you play Bob Dylan at the Lilith Fair?" - seraphic_slayer

(Depends on who's doing the cover. The Indigo Girls covered "Tangled Up In Blue", & I'm sure they can play whatever they want at Lilith Fair. -AL)

"Melissa Etheridge covered 'Lay Lady Lay,' is that close enough?" - southbucki

(See seraphic_slayer, another Dylan song that could be played at the Fair. -AL)

"Not so much covered as assaulted, groped, mistreated and left with a lingering feeling of deep trauma. Much like some of Michael Jackson's houseguests, allegedly." - jonem

"It's a good thing people cover Bob Dylan songs. He's pretty good with the lyrics, but his voice sounds like he gargled with jacks in a drug-induced stupor." - sskipstress

"I'm not sure Ani DiFranco has the voice to cover anything by Bob Dylan. But I'll hazard a guess....... the sad tale of Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter." - darkeros

(Yeah, Bob & Ani are both suckers for a sad story. -AL)

Correct Answer: Hurricane



6. If you were transformed into a hurricane, what sort would you be? (dedicated to fizrep)

"If?? You've obviously never seen me at the buffet line." richcsigs

"The kind that fizzles out after half an hour. All that spinning looks like hard work! But I'd try to pick up a load of fish to dump on some farmhouse first." - psychoticspy

"1.5 ounces light rum
1.5 ounces dark rum
1 ounce orange juice
1 ounce fresh lime juice (NOT Rose's or RealLime)
1/4 cup passion fruit juice, or 1 tablespoon passion fruit syrup
1 teaspoon superfine sugar
1 teaspoon grenadine
Cherries with stems, and orange slice to garnish
Ice cubes
In a cocktail shaker, mix the rum, passion fruit juice or syrup, the other juices and the sugar until sugar is dissolved. Add the grenadine, and stir to combine, then add ice and shake. Half-fill a hurricane glass with ice, then strain drink into glass; add ice to fill. Garnish with orange slice and cherries." - shrieking_ell & several others. Bottoms up, you alcoholics.

"Beats the heck out of me, I'd never make it past the Virgin Islands." - david_deacon

"The gulf's had enough trauma. I'll be one that smacks North Korea around. Or France. France works. (No one ever picks Italy...)" - cmzero

(Hurricanes don't pick on Italy because they have trouble squeezing throught the Straits of Gibraltar. -AL)

"The kind that blunders around the ocean, gaining and losing strength, taunting Florida and the Carolinas with threats of massive destruction, defying all meteorologists' abilities to predict where I'll make landfall and what category I'll be, and ultimately veering east to crash into the north coast of Africa, causing millions of Moroccans to say, "What the fuck? We didn't see that coming!" Only they'd say it in Arabic or Bedouin or French." - barbarienne

"I'd be the kind that wipes red states off the map :D Even landlocked ones!" - woap

(A hurricane with a political agenda. Fair enough. -AL)

"I would be whatever hurricane the mods of ljdq want me to be, because whatever chaosvizier and angledge say, goes. I am merely a pawn in their plan for total domination." - jonem

(You are the wimpiest hurricane of all time. -AL)

"I'd like to be Hurricane Marvin, so after hitting landfall and losing strength I'd become a tropical depression. Eye the size of a planet and I barely got a mention on the Weather Channel. I hope I'm not upsetting you, making you evacuate. Fifteen minutes of fame and now I'm destined to make mud in a field of cows in Mecklenburg, New York. I hope I'm not upsetting the cows, either. I'm so depressed." - captainsblog

"I'd be a tropical depression. That way, I'd be an emo hurricane. Hey, I could call myself a hurrican't!" - alliterator

"I'd be a him-a-cane because of my penis." - prick eerrr, krick

"Instead of blowing, I'd suck." - drbear

"The totally wimpy sort. They'd be like, 'Looks like maybe a Category 4!' And I'd be all, 'Meh.' And they'd say, 'Or...maybe just a light drizzle.' And then I'd go to sleep." - kokopellinelli

"One full of sound and fury, but in the end, signifying nothing." - lovellama

(Hurricane Macbeth is in the hizzle. -CV)

"I would be a calm hurricane with a lot of inner strength, and would only cause devastation to those who deserved it. A sort of Zen hurricane, if you will." - buzz

"The kind that shoves TREES through OTHER TREES like they were TOOTHPICKS THROUGH MARSHMALLOWS. And picks up CARS and melds them with HOUSE SIDES and the ENTIRE EARTH WOULD BE DESTORYED and it would be GLORIOUS!! GLORIOUS I TELL YOU!! Especially with the overabundance of CAPS that would be used." - the_wanlorn

"I'd love to have that power. If someone's pissing you off? HURRICANE! If you want to be first in the queue? HURRICANE! If you want to be the only one at the park? HURRICANE!" - puredeadthingy

Correct Answer: "I already am a Hurricane... see I went to the University of Miami. Let's Go 'Canes!" - pheltzer



And there you have it. Our own Operation Hurricane draws to an end, settling down over Miami and spending its fury furiously. angledge continues her relief efforts in New Orleans, and reports that it is busy, and sad, and yet, on occasion, quite funny:


Thanks again to chlaal who continues to show support in the enforced absence of my partner. And tune in tomorrow when we begin a theme that's even more extra-special than our regular themes. Ooooooh, mysterious!

Rock on,

AL&CV&C