LJ Daily Answers: 10 October 2005

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"I've been in Japan for two months and I haven't seen a ninja or a monkey yet. I feel gypped." - marasca

That's ok, marasca, we've brought the ninjas to you! To follow up our pirate theme of two weeks ago, it was only logical to target the next cult favorite topic: ninjas and their ilk. And here's a free +1 to anyone who mentioned realultimatepower. Just because.



1. What was named by Cycle World Magazine as the "Best Superbike" for 2004 and 2005?

"whatever Lance Armstrong's been riding for the past 6 years." - tzeentch

"Cycling is considered exercising and therefore it and I are not on speaking terms." - lyme

"Certainly not mine. Apparently, crashing one's bicycle into a chainsaw does not improve the quality and/or overall functionality." - zanmistoffelees

(...of what, the chainsaw? -CV)

"Ass, Gas, or Grass! No one rides SUPERBIKE for free!" - sweetpea86

"If its not Street Hawk it has to be fixed.. Although.. Cy-kil might have a chance." - tarpo

(You were doing so well... -1 because the Go-Bots SUCKED. -CV)

"Do not use Kryptonite locks on this bike, please." - cmzero

(number of other Superman-related jokes: 29. -CV)

"The Human Torch's bike. Because any bike that can turn into a giant flying fireball is automatically the best bike ever. Unless that's not what you mean by Superbike. But damn, wouldn't that be sweet? Just riding it down the street and the cops start chasing you -- probably for burning something down -- and you just go 'Flame on!' and fly away like a pyromaniac ET." - deltashade
"the Batbike was way cooler." - whiski_sour

"The Tron bikes.... I mean, really, they left super-destructive laser lights behind them, and could make 90 degree turns... who cares if they were made before the new millenium? They're real I say!" - the_fallen_0ne

(Alas, they were all subject to the Y2K bug and broke down that fateful night. -CV)

"" - marseverlasting

"Martina Navratilova." - david_deacon
"Ellen DeGeneres." - footontheground, sskipstress
"NOT SAFE FOR WORK AND BOY DO WE MEAN IT" - akiyasan

(You four are naughty pandas. -CV)

"The Fisher Price Kawasaki Ninja Trike. Because toddlers need cool wheels when they're cruising the playground for chicks." - barbarienne

"The Kawasaki Ninja, which I wouldn't recommend for use during an assassination of your enemies because you can hear that sucker coming a mile away." - buzz

"The Kawasaki Ninja. I *so* want one of those some day. I mean, which woman doesn't appreciate several pounds of sexy steel vibrating between her legs at 200 miles an hour?" - damanique

"Can a bike cling to the ceiling? No. So it isn't a Ninja. They could so get done for false advertising." - benmiff

Correct Answer: Kawasaki Ninja ZX10R



2. When you pit four renaissance artists against an office machine, what comic book/cartoon/movie do you have?

"Well if an Espresso machine can be classified as an office machine... I guess you'd have 'Four Men and a Little Latte'" - pheltzer

"Leonardo da Vinci photocopying his ass and stapling it to the company bulletin board." - marseverlasting

"I immediately recall the scene from Office Space where they're beating the crap out of that printer. That was freaking awesome. I remember watching that movie with some friends, and they get to the part where they're hatching the scheme for taking the money out of the payroll. I turned to my then boyfriend and said, 'that sounds like the plot from Superman 3,' and then seconds later, the Michael Bolton dude said he got the idea from Superman 3. I then had three gaming geeks bowing down before me saying, 'we're not worthy!' Well, it was a nice feeling for me, anyway. But I'm a dork." - dorei

"it took me way too long to get that one. I stared at it for a few minutes trying to figure out if there'd ever been a cheesy 50's horror flick called 'Ninja Da Vinci vs. The Stapler'" - soimpossible414

"I dont get how the office machine...ohhhh, Shredder. Clever, LJDQ, very clever." - mrsnesbit

"On my Academic Decathalon team, we watched one of the movies so that we could learn the names of the artists, and every time one would come onscreen, we'd have to say the art we had been studying by that artist. IE - Donatello - St. Mark! Oh my God I can't believe I just admitted that." - zanmistoffelees

(And that, my friends, is how one earns -1 and a Geek Of The Week award. -CV)

"I used to wish I lived in a big city. I figured that I could walk down the street at night and if anyone tried to hurt me, all I would have to do was make sure I was near a manhole cover. Then the TMNT would pop out and kick ass." - kokopellinelli

"That is the show that taught me that peanut butter and ice cream is a valid pizza topping." - lustforlike

(Your heart just called. It says it hates you. -CV)

"I once found TMNT porn on the internet, seriously. Dude, like I didn't even know they had the equipment!" - ginalin

(I said it before and I'll say it again: This is why the internet is a bad thing. -CV)

"Didn't they change the name of that or something, in a bizarre bout of PC-ness?" - jess_strasbourg
"In certain countries this is a non-theme question, because they were known as 'Hero Turtles'." - bobjanova

(Correct, they were. However, the original material was always "Ninja Turtles". Changing the name does not change the original source. Also, what the hell is wrong with using the word "ninja"? -CV)

Correct Answer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"Bring out the Bangles, I have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themesong going through my head." - sskipstress



3. Which popular Estonian girl band first entered the Eurovision Song Contest 2004 with the song "Cool Vibes"?

"Ah, Eurovision. The passion. The skill. The excitement. The lack of subtitles." - active_apathy

"The Rolling Estonians." - pheltzer

"In Soviet Estonia, Girl Bands You!" - sasscat

"Uhm, Mr. CV? You didn't say Estonian pop music would be on the test..." - deltashade

(He didn't say it wouldn't be, either! -C)

"Sting." - puredeadthingy

"Popular? Eurovision?? I think you need to lay off the gin ..." - bobjanova
(Definitely the WRONG answer. -1. -C)

"I'm going to assume the answer is not TaTu, even though I think two girls kissing probably has the ability to draw attention away from the ninja. Maybe TaTu are ninjas! They use their make out session to distract the enemy then... SNEAK ATTACK!!!" - miss_katelynne

"I do like anything to do with women and cool vibes. But this is a family quiz and we don't need to get into that.." - tarpo

(I don't know WHERE you got the idea that this is a family quiz. See next answer. -AL&C&CV)

"By the way, most women I know don't like their vibes cool, if you know what I mean and I think you do." - drbear

(Oh, I do. I definitely do. -C)

"'Popular Estonian Girl Band' is, interestingly enough, the translation of their name from Estonain into English." - undeadgoat

"There really is a country called Estonia? I thought they just made that up for Encino Man." - whiski_sour, ladylyonesse
"Estonia is a real place? Are you kidding me? I thought it was just a made up place in the Dilbert cartoons." - footontheground, unithien_rerith

(*facepalm* -AL&C&CV)

"I admit I had never heard of Vanilla Ninja, but seeing their pictures, I do have to wonder how they taste." - feste

Correct Answer: Vanilla Ninja

"I prefer chocolate ninjas myself." - ginalin



4. What classic SEGA video game pitted Joe Musashi against the forces of "Zeed"?

"Son of Joe Musashi, kneel before ZEED!!!!" - fizrep, miss_katelynne

"There is no Zeed, only Zuul." - lustforlike, marasca

She called me a noble zeed. She thinks I'm a zeed." - unamundamour

"All your Base and Belong to Us" - uncut_diamond

"Joe versus Zeed Volcano" - wolffepsyche

"Pong." - puredeadthingy

"Doooooooood. Is that like gravity?" - undeadgoat

(+1 for the most random nonanswer of the week. -C)

"Joe Musashi? That's the lamest Japanese/American fusion name ever. It's like a Jewish American Indian named Tonto Horowitz." - arib

"Super Musashi Brothers." - sasscat

"The only SEGA game I know is the one with the little hedgehog. Or is he a porcupine? Is Joe Musashi a porcupine?" - medias_res, echoing everyone's belief that Sonic = SEGA.

Correct Answer: Shinobi

"I typed my answers in Word--it keeps trying to correct 'Shinobi' as 'shin bone.'" - deza



5. Boromir, The Professional and Olympic champion Katarina Witt co-star in which late 90's action thriller?

"Just tell me it's not Power Rangers." - active_apathy

(Okay. It's not Power Rangers. -C)

"I'm gonna blame you for giving me the image of Lord of the Rings action figures being sold with 'ninja fighting action'!" - nike_victory

(You should check out Aragorn's kung-fu action grip, if you know what I'm saying. -CV)

"Lord Of The Ice Rinks: Return Of The Professional" - tofusquirrel
"The Lord of the Ninja: The Fellowship of the Katana." - deltashade
"Lord Of The Rings 4: We Could Only Hire One Of The Original Guys" - lots42

"Jean Reno is so Manly He Makes Sean Bean Look Like He Should Be Wearing a Dress" - thepikey

"Walt Disney Presents: Ronin on Ice" - barbarienne

"The Lion, the Witt, and the Wardrobe" - mcclintock

"Ronin means 'lawless man.' Does this mean Lucy Lawless's dad automatically qualifies?" - deza

(No, because Lawless is actually Lucy's married name, and thus her dad's name was not Lawless. Uh, not that I'm a total "Xena" fangrrl or anything. Heck no. -C)

"He is a rough leader of men with a weakness for small men with rings, he is a possibly mentally retarded hitman who likes little girls, and She.. well she was a figure skater.. together THEY FIGHT CRIME! (on ice)" - tarpo

"Boromir in the olympics? What's his sport, preening?" - woap

"That is SO WEIRD. I JUST BOUGHT that movie. Why are you spying on my movie collection?!?!" - the_wanlorn

(I think a better question would be, why are YOU spying on the LJDQ?? -C)

Number of people berating us for not knowing the difference between a masterless samurai (ronin) and a ninja: 4. Sure, there's a hojillion movies with the word "ninja" in the title. But there aren't enough trick questions out there to trick people into using the word "ninja" when it's uncalled for. See? Trickery. It's the way of the ninja.

Correct Answer: Ronin



6. What's your secret ninja power?

"The first rule of ninja powers is don't talk about ninja powers." - pheltzer

"It's a secret. If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Although I could give you a hint and just beat you up real bad..." - lovellama

(OK, give us the hint & then you can TRY to beat up CV. I'll be watching over here with popcorn & a digital camera. -AL)

"You have the power of Fandango my son. Use it wisely." - chershey

(The best one is still "My happinessis a golden poem". -CV)

"I am a femininja." - puredeadthingy

"The ability to needlessly offend people with comments like #1, above. Sorry." - david_deacon

"How about the power to kill a yak? From 200 yeards away with mind bullets! That's telekinesis, Kyle!" - miss_katelynne
"I harness the power of the Chewbacca Defense." - richcsigs

(+1, South Park. -AL)

"Sleeping at will." - jaltok

"I can make chocolate vanish in mere seconds!" - kamalloy

"Double-talk & legalese" - wiredwizard

"I can turn into a room full of naked girls." - photosinensis

(*complete & total silence as all the mods contemplate this wondrous power* -C&AL&CV)

"In the confusion of a smoke bomb, I can remove your bra and you wouldn't even notice." - lyme

"The ability to attract people who want to hit my car, apparently...it's currently in the body shop after its fourth accident, none of which have been my fault. Who do I see to get RID of this ninja power?" - dslartoo

"I can deliver a Ninja burger like nobody's business." - mcclintock

(God bless 9th Level Games. ALL HAIL KING TORG!! -AL)

"Give me an epée and fencing gear and I'll kick your ass though. Or a sabre. I can TOTALLY work with a sabre. Hack and slash." - dracothelizard

"Fitting in the LJDQ between lectures. To the casual observer it may seem as if I have gone straight from one to the other, only those wise in the ways of the ninja will be able to tell that that is not so. And possibly everyone in my second lecture if I go in late." - crystalcazzie

"I'm a mom, so I can see things that happen behind my head...." - elbiesee
"I am the most feared of all ninjas, the ninja mom. I have top ninja interrogation skills, able to tell with a glance how much homework has been done, who shaved the dog, and who left the milk out on the counter to congeal." - dorei

(As a kid, I hated those ninja-mom powers. -AL)

Correct Answer: "Stealth answering of LJ Daily Quiz during work hours." - cmzero

(That's what the original Quiz was invented for - sapping corporate resources. -AL&CV)



And there you have it- all the ninjas that are fit to print. Now we vanish into a puff of smoke, only to reappear tomorrow with an all-new (ninja-free) set of questions. Who knows what treachery and mystery we'll weave into our next theme? No one knows! Not even that Shadow fellow! No one, I tell you!

Rock on,

AL&CV&C