LJ Daily Answers: 1 August 2005

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"This may be my last LJDQ for a while. By the next one I'll be in Tokyo!" - marasca

Good luck with the teaching gig! Make sure you get your classrooms playing the ljdq to better hone their English skills. They'll need it!

"I can't focus enough on the question to answer due to my inability to look away from that icon. It's both sick and fascinating, in that "what kind of a day led to coming up with THAT?" way." - wolffepsyche, echoing many others' sentiments

"It looks like the violent theme you're using will only get you an M rating by the ESRB." - scifantasy

And that means controversy, which leads to ratings!

Yes, the theme this week was "things that resembled weapons", because... well, just because. Weapons are cool. End of story. And judging by the responses we got here, it looks like you all agree with us. As is proper. So, answers away!



1. What is the female reproductive organ of a flower called?

"Apparently Alice lied when she sang 'You can learn a lot of things from the flowers...'" - sweetpea86

"Something that the Holy Flower Church wants not to be taught in schools." - ntlespino

"thanks to this question, all I can think of is that scene from The Wall with the two flowers doing the nasty." - dark_goddess_

"Wait, plants have sex? Oh. Weird. Okay, well, if I were a girl flower, I'd call it my 'Special Secret Magic Flower Place of Happiness.'" - zihuatanejo
"what about the boy bits? are they any good? do they know what they are doing? does that bit just roll over and smoke a cigarette when it gets done??" - seolta

"I've been reading fanfic for two years now. I've seen het, slash, beastiality, BSDM, and what-have-you, but this is the first time I've seen plant smut. What's that called, anyway? Herbiality?" - wendynat

(No, that's when you have sex with VW Beetles. -CV)

"Her beckoning moist blossom, which yearned for his throbbing manhood..." - peaseblossom03

"Same as any female reproductive organ - a 'hoo-ha'. e.g., Demi Moore explaining that she won't wrestle in Creamed Corn '...while some Yahoo sticks niblets up my Hoo-Ha!'" - ladylyonesse

"A rootin', tootin', pollen shootin', gonad lootin', snatch." - csflick

"Georgia O'Keefe would let me get away with saying the flower, so we'll go with that." - thesumo

(Hey AL, is your name Georgia? 'cause mine sure isn't, if if neither of us are, then this guy's fucked. -CV)

"all I can think of are pictures of Georgia O'Keefe and pollen, being chased by horny bees." - kokopellinelli

(Oh, maybe it's her. -CV)

"The plantgina" - karenbear

"'your sticky pistol feeding into my stamen...' Stamen. Figures, over $18k wasted on my college education, and I know this answer, not from any biology classes, but from a Paula Cole song." - jamileigh17

(No credit for you, college, or Paula Cole. -CV)

"Flowers are disgusting. Not only do they spread their reproductive cells with no exclusivity, just giving it up to ANY old flower that comes along, but they use ANOTHER SPECIES to do it. They're whores that are into beastiality. Eww." - seraphic_slayer

"wussy men plants who can't stand up to their girlfriends are pistil whipped." - mcclintock

"The stamen are the boy parts, right? And the girl parts are the pistel or however it's spelled. And the fruit is basically a giant pregnant flower uterus. But that's gross." - lotusbiosm

"The ovary, same as in a person (no, not the pistil--trick question!). Great, now I have a mental image of a flower blooming in my innards. I'm going to spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what kind of flower it is, too. A rose? A pansy? One of those things that only blooms once every three years and smells like rotten meat?" - deza

(Not a trick question. The ovary is just part of the whole organ. -AL)

(Also, for your partner's sake, I hope you don't have Flower Number Three down there. -CV)

"It's either pestil or pestle. I forget which one's the one that grinds things and which is the one that is ground. (If you know what I mean. Giggidy-giggidy.)" - deltashade

"In the immortal words of Incubus...'And my pen is all pistola.'" - tofusquirrel

Correct Answer: Pistil

"thus allowing male flowers to say to female flowers 'is that a pistil in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?'" - drbear



2. A collection of books accepted as holy scripture, especially (but not exclusively) the books of the Bible, is referred to as what?

"I would say gosple, but that's one book isn't it? Well. The only other thing I can think of that is "a collection of books" is an enclycopedia set. So, gosplipedia?" - hellobigfish

"did you know that the Bible is the most shoplifted item in America? How's that for irony?" - poison_iva

"I now have Hercules music in my head. 'And that's the gospel truth!'" - alexmegami

"Does that include the Scientology pamphlets as well?" - dracothelizard

"The Fox News manifesto: now with added morality!" - jonem

"OMG GOD HATES ME BECAUSE HE DIDN'T MAKE JESUS/PETER CANON! I'M QUITTING THIS FANDOM, AND I AM TOTALLY NOT FINISHING REVELATIONS!" - latara
"Father + Son + Holy Spirit = OT3!!! OMGTHEIRLOVEISSOCANON!!!" - dark_goddess_
"I still think the New Testament's fan-fiction." - arib

(Can't agree with you there. Otherwise, there'd be a helluva lot more Peter-Paul-Mary three-way action, and not of the musical kind. Also, they would have had sex with Lazarus BEFORE raising him up again. -CV)

"The Franklin Mint Eternal Damnation Collection. Bound in rich faux-leather, the spine inscribed in the highest quality fake gilt. Enjoy your first book, Genesis, free for only the cost of shipping, and the other books will follow one per month for the low purchase price of $50 each. High quality for the moral high ground." - altoidsaddict

"a canon, which isn't the same as a cannon, which is responsible for the 1812 Overture being so damn cool. And a lot of holes." - harleenquinzell

"a canon isn't exclusively religious... you can have literary canons too." - ihateusernames

(As 453987121 Harry Potter fans have gleefully pointed out. -CV)

"Canon. Originally, this featured a second 'n' until the Council of Würms, where it was decided that spelling it like the military weapon put the wrong spin on Church authority by casting it in a martial light rather than one of 'you'll endanger your immortal sould if you don't.'" - wingedelf

"One-n canon, that's official
Two-n cannon fires a missile
I've never seen, nor do I plan on,
Seeing any three-n cannnon." - deltashade

Correct Answer: Canon



3. Which detective show's theme song has appeared in the film "The Blues Brothers" and the video game "Spy Hunter"?

"Is Spy Hunter about a guy who hunts spies, or is it about a guy who is a spy and a hunter at the same time? Or is it, like, a spy who likes deer hunting? Or a guy who likes spying on rabbits? Or maybe a hunter who in his spare time is a spy...Or does he like spying in his hunting gear? Those orange vests might make that a bit challenging, but it can’t be worse than those flashlights strapped to Sam Fisher’s head." - siinik

(You got nuthin'. -CV)

"Only thing I remember from Blues Brothers was Carrie Fisher was in it, probably a very stoned Carrie Fisher at that." - charliesmum

(Moooooooooom, why can't I get stoned like Princess Leia? -CV)

"I can be fairly certain it isn't Matlock." - nakedblueninja

"Sledgehammer, famous for saying the line, 'Trust me, I know what I'm doing' right before doing something completely dangerous and stupid. Or maybe he was more of a cop." - marasca
"I was so sad when that show went off the air. I am sure that I would not have been nearly as amused by it were I watching it today, but back then it was ubercool. And I was even old enough to stay up to watch it." - chrysoberyl

"I know it isn't Hawaii Five-Oh, because Hawaii is too beautiful to be a weapon of any kind. Although I bet they do have some pretty freaky poisonous fishes or something. But at least as you were lying on the sand writhing in your horribly painful final throes of death, you'd be like, 'Man, these beaches in Hawaii are awesome!'" - chlaal

"Miami Vice. Can you believe Don Johnson's outfits? The crooks could have seen him from ten miles away." - lots42

"I will say MacGyver, because it's all about the mullet. Plus, any guy that could get us off a desert island using only a matchbook, a coconut, and a casually placed stargate is all right in my book." - zanmistoffelees

"Magnum P.I. Because nothing says 'solving a crime' like loud Hawaiian shirts." - seraphic_slayer

(To be fair, "Magnum" does somewhat relate to the theme. 10% credit for whoever said that. 20% if you said "Beretta" instead. -CV)

"Dun-duh-dun-duh-dun BATMAN!" - akiyasan

"Shaft?! You're counting that as a weapon?! Only to a feminist reading bad romance novels. Call it a PENIS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MONTRESSOR!" - harleenquinzell
"If it's "Shaft", I should mention that it was also on the X-Files (Mulder sang it)." - soimpossible414

"Who's the smart moderator
That's a eating machine to all the pudding?
chaosvizier!
Ya damn right!

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but angledge,
chaosvizier!" - alliterator

(I'm a bad mother... -CV)

"SHUT YO' MOUTH!" - ajmcoqui

"Talk about straining the long rusted vaults of the brain. Even the gun in this answer is rusty." - cats_haven

"Peter Gunn – a kick-ass pep-band song. C’mon – you guys were in pep band, weren’t ya? Right – me neither." - slickrickt

Correct Answer: Peter Gunn



4. Which island was once inhabited by the Carib Indians until the French drove the last surviving natives to leap to their death from a precipice?

"How can you get the funny from racial genocide??" - lovellama

(Just watch us. -CV)

"Wow, that sounds like a great tourist attraction: 'And here ladies and gentlemen is where are greed drove us to genocide, aren't we lovely.'" - invalidcaracter

"have you noticed? when someone 'falls', we call it the edge of a cliff, as if we want to make them look stupid... 'the idiot fell off the edge of a CLIFF!' yet when they are forced to jump, we say precipice, as if to make their death more worthwhile." - therhythmthief

"'Hey, that last indian woman just jumped off that cliff.'
'Oh. Jamaica?'
'No, she wanted to.'" - zihuatanejo

"Bikini Atoll? *Well, it has to do with weapons! Sorta.*" - penprp

(Fair enough. -CV)

"There was a theme park on Grand Island near where I grew up called Fantasy Island. It was right next to a beach called Beaver Island. I kid you not." - chrysoberyl

"I'm going to go with Cuba, since it is vaguely torpedo-shaped." - ajmcoqui

(And the gruyere Award for Logic Renunciation this week goes to... ajmcoqui! -CV)

"An island of people wussier than the French? Say it ain't so! Oh wait, you just did. Cool." - woap
"What did the French do, scare them off with their B.O?" - elbiesee
"What happened, the French were backing up and didn't notice the natives behind them?" - lots42

"My knowledge of the pirate era carib comes from Sid Meyer's Pirates! and really who wants to play a French pirate." - mcclintock

"Was it right after the soothsayer predicted 'Britain will get the 2012 Olympics?'" - puredeadthingy

"They DIED on that level? Come on. If you put two Blockers on either side of them, then make one of the others a Digger 'til it's about halfway down through the cliff and then change it to a Basher, they'll only fall a little ways and walk right to the door. But be safe and make the last three Floaters, or they might splat at the bottom of the hole." - princesskraehe

(You know, it's been centuries since I've played Lemmings. I forgot all about that until this question. -CV)

"Carribia, obviously, abode of such singers as Enya and the guy that sings the dutchie song." - alexmegami

"Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah,
here I am on island Grenada.
French are very entertaining,
and from the sky the natives they are raining." - sasscat

Correct Answer: Grenada



5. Whose musical repertoire includes the songs "E-Mail My Heart", "I'm A Slave 4 U", and "Bombastic Love"?

"One of these: Los Del Rio, Right Said Fred, Vanilla Ice, or Dexys Midnight Runners" - thepikey

(Oooh, LJDQ cross-referencing. Someone's paying attention! -CV)

"since when can anyone besides Prince use netspeak in songs?!" - profsparky

"BRiT|\|3Y0RZ 5P3/-\r5 " - skipstress

"Well, David Bowie has songs called 'Battle for Britian: The Letter', 'I'll Be Your Slave', and 'Slow Burn'. Does that count?" - ladyisabella

(Hmm, good question. Let's ask our good buddy Richard Dawson. Survey says?

XXX!

Well, Richard says no deal. Better luck next time there, Bowie. -CV)

"I hereby disqualify myself. I had to use Google to convince myself that there actually was a song called 'Email my Heart'." - nihilicious
"Someone seriously made a song called 'E-Mail My Heart'? Jeez, what these kids listen to these days. I remember back in my day, songs had a point, a meaning, and complex melodies! Now excuse me while I go listen to 'Walk Like an Egyptian' and 'Ev'rybody Wang Chung Tonight'." = peaseblossom03
"Did you know 'E-Mail My Heart' was originally titled 'FedEx My Liver'? I heard that on Casey Kasem's American Top 40, it was a long distance dedication...which is actually kind of creepy if you think about it." - sweetpea86
"'Email My Heart' was followed up by, 'I'm going to post in my LJ about how much you suck'. Good song." - latara

"Those are songs? I thought those were dating site pop-ups!" - zanmistoffelees

"The Antichrist." - uncut_diamond

(Some may say you are correct. -AL)

"Everyone's favorite cousin-ogling wild child, Britney Spears!" - tofusquirrel

(Eh? Britney's been ogling your cousin? Or was she ogling her OWN cousin? Fill us in on the gossip. -AL)

"That'll never work out if you're sick, the virus scanner will just refuse to send the e-mail with the attachment 'heart.exe' if it has a virus. And then you have to re-attach your heart to the e-mail, and that's just messy." - dracothelizard

(A valid point. -AL)

"What a lovely gesture. Ripping out your own heart, scanning it in and sending to your boyfriend. Who will break up with you the next week to go out with someone called Melanie, but hey." - puredeadthingy

(Ooooh, now that's bitter. -AL)

"*hides CD* It's my little (nonexistant) sister's! I swear!" - jamileigh17

(CV, did we ever set a maximum number of points that can be deducted at one time? -AL)

(Well, it's -50 for the ultimate crime of web cheating. I'd say being a Britney CD owner is worth at least -40. -CV)

"Britney '14 pound baby' Spears ... someone take away the food. Serously. That kid is going to be a cannonball with feet." - meepbitch

"TITTIE TITTIE ASS ASS TITTIE TITTIE ASS." - bnh

(Now, granted, pregnancy has altered her physical structure somewhat, but I'm pretty sure she does not currently have four breasts and three asses. marasca has provided evidence to support my theories. -CV)

"Britney Spears, the knocked up Princess of White-trash. Let me give you some advice, Brit: When you're pregnant, you simply cannot just keep wearing your old clothes. This

Is NOT maternity wear!" - marasca

"Britney Spears, whose use has been banned by the Geneva convention." - penprp
"I think those song titles are weapons in themselves." - kamalloy

"Does she even know what 'repertoire' means?" - hthottie

(Hard to say. Ms. Spears hasn't submitted her Quiz answers yet. -AL)

"All I can say about her is that I once danced as a back up singer for a Britney impersonator at a party. But I was dressed as Stevie Nicks." - technoinfidel

"doom on you for putting her songs in my head!" - elbiesee

Correct Answer: Britney Spears

"Hey, how come the LJDQ never includes questions about 18th-century classical music? That's my area of expertise dammit. I could so blow you away with the stories about Mozart and Haydn and that guy Gesualdo who murdered his wife and her lover. He was the Renaissance-era Bobby Brown, yo. Or maybe OJ." - chlaal



6. What is your weapon of choice?

"Christopher Walken, dancing around a hotel to a Fatboy Slim song." - 27 of you
"Insert generic Cowbell joke here." - latara

"a solid steel 45 pound sledgehammer. Great for opening doors and faces." - uncut_diamond

"Chainsaw. Although my pet biologist swears by claymores. The mines. You know, anti-personnel. Goodbye knees. That kinda thing." - benmiff

"The 'hanbo'. A stick about three feet long. Exactly the size of most canes. See I have back and joint problems, particularly knees. I figure I'll inevitably need a cane and thought it might be good to still know how to defend myself even with the limited mobility." - fmh

"An appointment. I just have this thing for huge metal balls with spikes on." - maggiebloome

(And this week's ljdq Non Sequitur Award goes to... maggiebloome! -CV)

"Duct tape. Always duct tape." - keoieid

"SPOON!" - ankhet

"A lemon wrapped around a large gold brick" - hemloche

"The Hoe of Destruction, from Ultima 7." - chaobell

(And people wonder why no one cared about Ultima after, say, #4. -CV)

"A lance, so that I can partake in the official state sport of jousting!" - kamalloy

(And you would be living in the state of... Camelot? -CV)

"The pen! It is mightier than the sword! And yet, I wouldn't choose it in a duel." - bnh
"In addition to being mightier than a sword, ink poisoning is far less gauche." - jonem

"Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again." - deza, kdlawler27, empressvesica, aliaspiral, rivetkitten

(+1, Monty Python's Flying Circus. -CV)

"A herring!" - wendynat

(+1, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. -CV)

"The ability to annoy people by acting like a pretentious French Ninja. YES, a FRENCH NINJA! They exist, I tell you!" - i_am_stillwater

(I call shenanigans. There are no french ninjas. -CV)

"Brains, because Knowledge is Power!! *cheesy grin*" - thesumo

(Thank you, Schoolhouse Rocky. -CV)

"" - danicia

"One of those nifty little poison arrow frogs. It looks far too cute to do any damage. They never suspect. I just go up to them and say, 'Hey, person I hate, want to see my poison arrow frog?' And then they go, 'Your what arrow frog now? Durr, okay!'" - szellem

"Giant Panda:
" - master_flea

"my weapon of choice is my feet (for running away) or, for preference, a fast car. When it comes down to fight or flight, give me flight every time, dude. It's not because I'm a pacifist, it's because I'm a pussy." - chlaal

"what I really want is one of those shoulder mounted, thought-controled, heat-seeking monstrosities that the Predator has in Alien vs. Predator." - lyzz13

"Pulse Rifle, with an under the barrel grenade launcher, and explosive caseless rounds. Cool digital readout of rounds left. Remember short bursts and stay frosty!" - mcclintock

(+1, Aliens. -CV)

"Well duh:
" - fizrep

Correct Answer: "I’m kind of partial to the F-bomb." - slickrickt

(Fuck yeah. -CV)

Thanks to everyone who played this week. And thanks to charliesmum, who has paid her webcheating debt to Quiz society by serving a term of one month as the LJDQ Mum. Go forth, & webcheat no more.

As for the rest of you .... get outside & get some fresh air for once! But be back by tomorrow - that's when the new Quiz will be ready.

Rock on,

AL&CV.