LJ Daily Answers: 20 June 2005

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Well, just in case you didn't notice, this week's theme was One Thousand, in honour of our One Thousand Plus watchers. That would be all of you. Let's see how it went...



1. What the hell is this thing?


"I have no idea. I live in the middle of a cornfield. Any structures that are not barns, silos, combines, and houses are foreign to me. " - whiski_sour

"Well, because of all those spiky things it looks like it should be called Dome of a Thousand Stings. Bet you thought no one could work Sting in this week, didn't you." - dreamoflight

(Somehow, someone always manages. -CV)

"Oh my God ... it's full of stars!" - whitetower

(+1, 2001: A Space Odyssey. -CV)

"a giant upside down wok." - herdivineshadow, shino_hoshi

"It's several sets of giant bagpipes having an orgy! *eep*" - rowantree

"chaosvizier's ass under a microscope." - afterwards

(I beg to differ. My ass is considerably less spiky. -CV)

"I don't know, but I have a sudden urge to build a mountain out of my mashed potatoes." - sweetpea86

(+1, Close Encounters of the Third Kind. -AL)

"The Mothership. It's come to take MJ back to his home planet, now that he's no longer on trial and can travel." - dv8dragonfly

"That's the biodome isn't it? Specifically designed as a place to store stray Baldwins and Pauly Shore to keep them from mingling with the rest of society. Okay. Maybe it's not, but the idea of keeping stray Baldwins and Pauly Shore out of society is still a good idea!" - dataangel

"The WiggyDome, named after my sister-in-law's chihuahua/dachshund mix, Ludwig, whose head is remarkably dome-shaped, albeit without spikes and lights on the inside." - lusciousmango

"The New and Improved Legion of Doom Headquarters, to see the old headquarters, visit the campus of the University of West Virginia in Morganton, WV." - corax_onyx

"The red-headed bastard step-child of the Sydney Opera House and that golf-ball thingy [Epcote?]." - psychoticspy

"I have been staring at that pic all week and all I can think of is a giant udder. Woah. Wait! Is that a giant boob? With, er, oil rigs on it? Christ, I had no idea that breast feeding had become so technological." - angelchicken

"A giant pasty for the burlesque routine I have been working on..." - addisonwren

(That's quite a rack you've got there... -CV)

"Clearly that is the top of the Statue of Liberty's head, and whoever scalped her is going to be very, very sorry." - chlaal

(Biggest Cherokee ever. -CV)

"It looks like the improbable lovechild of a porcupine, a firefly, and a crab, to be honest." - marag

(We shall call it the Flabupine. -CV)

"You know, I don't think I want to know what has that many erections at once." - nike_victory

(You clearly have not watched enough Japanese Tentacle Porn. -CV)

"Holy shit, what did they do to the mommy alien from Batteries Not Included?" - fischyference19

"A stately pleasure-dome." - marasca

(+1 for what must be the most cultured and literate answer we've had in months. -CV)

"That thing looks like a huge tick turned upsidedown and trussed by Lilliputians! Which reminds me...SPOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!" - ladylyonesse

"The Death Star, Home Makeover Edition" - barwench23235

(Which fared better than Queer Eye For The Straight Sith Lord. "Now, Lord Vader, the black is nice for work, but I think for your gettogether on Cloud City, you might want something a bit brighter, maybe in blue or khakkkaaaacckkkk, gglllllccchhhhh... *thump*" -CV)

"It looks a lot like that parachute thing the teachers made us play with in P.E. I still don't understand how making a fort with your ass and sitting under it teaches you how to be physically fit. And, they say McDonald's is the leading cause of the obesity epidemic..." - katiemariie

"I’ve been sitting here looking at it for the past five minutes, but I just see spiky colored things, which probably shows how boring I am. If this were a Roschach test, I’d fail. 'You see nothing?? It means you *are* nothing! You want to sleep with your father, and your id is restless. That’ll be $200.'" - cefirus

"I was there, after the millenium, and all the British people were very embarrassed about it." - technoinfidel
"I object to your bringing up this monument of national shame in such a public manner." - grapefruitzzz
"Ahh, the Millenium Dome, how mocked are you. That, my dear is the centrepiece of our 2012 Olympic Bid." - __kali__
"When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a dome on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, lad, the strongest white elephant in all of England!" - jonem

Correct Answer: The Millennium Dome

"The Millenium Dome. But, more importantly, separated at engineering birth from another Millenium namesake? You make the call.
" - ckirkman



2. Which NFL record is shared by Curtis Martin and Barry Sanders?

"Incidentally, what *is* NFL?" - m31andy
"It is a sport, right?" - dracothelizard
"NFL is a gangsta rap record label, right? Stands for No Fuckin' Ladyboys." - karenbear
"No Fucking Lemmings" - puredeadthingy

"I don't know football. I just want to get to the penis part of question four." - astria_nova

"For the love of God, does every male under God’s blue sky have to obsess over yardage and field goals and rushing?" - cefirus

(Actually, I'm not very interested in sports at all. We just like well-rounded quizzes. Also, while I am male, angledge is not, and, oddly, is more of a sports fan than I am. Holy Gender Stereotype Reversals, Batman! -CV)

(This is the part of the Quiz where I get to say: GO EAGLES!!! -AL)

"Most goals in one game. No, wait, American Football... so, hole-in-ones... homeruns? What?" - honeycakehorse
"You Americans and your basketball." - lustforike
"NFL? I thought all the hockey got canceled this year." - deza

"i don't even know what sport NFL is... soccer? squash? however, last night csi was about hockey players, so i'll go with ice hockey." - therhythmthief

(Thank goodness television is around to answer all our questions. -CV)

"I have no idea, but did you know that David Boone (former Australian international cricket player) holds the record for the largest number of tinnies drunk on a single flight between Australia and England? Betcha didn't." - djs_specs

"I watch interesting sports, like hockey. It's not a real sport if you don't have grown men beating each other to death with large sticks." - soimpossible414

"I'm slightly more likely to know the atomic weight of gold than I am to know the answer to any sports question.
Uh, what is the atomic weight of gold, anyway?" - marag

"What's the matter Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?" - shadowkeeper, alliterator

(+1, Spaceballs. -CV)

"I would assume that it has something to do with throwing, running or catching. Or maybe scoring, but I think Wilt Chamberlain beats both of them at scoring." - chris1979

"The most-distance-run-to-keep-from-getting-squished-by-much-larger-men record." - roadparty

(I would have beaten them too, but I took the train this morning. -CV)

(*slow blink* Sometimes, even I don't understand you. -AL)

"Goofiest touchdown dance, including bits of the 'Macarena,' the 'Chicken,' and what looked like 'I've Got A Bee In My Underwear.'" - kokopellinelli

"Most cheerleaders banged during time outs" - marasca

"The record for the lowest neck-to-head ratio." - nolseygnu

"Most pies eaten in a single week." - shuyobob

(No, that was me. -CV)

"Most gratuitious fondling of a tight end?" - uncut_diamond
"The most bums slapped in a game." - nike_victory
"That is 1,000 tushies patted, not that many individual pats, a figure probably achieved in their first season." - feste
"Which one is the NFL? Is it the football? I don't like football. It's just a bunch of really large, built men slamming into each other over a ball and wearing silly uniforms and, and...Ass slapping. You know, maybe I do like football." - rhapsody_iv

"Number of times they broke a thousand yards in a season? Yeah that's it." - snowwy
"They share the record for Most Seasons, 1000 or More Yards Rushing..along with some(8) other guys" - kayklukk

(Close enough. Well, closer than everyone else except n51ln. -CV)

"1000 yards rushing in consecutive seasons." - n5iln

Correct Answer: They both rushed 1000 yards in each of their first ten seasons.



3. The Indians called the space between the St. Lawrence River and Lake Ontario "Manatoana", meaning "The Garden of the Great Spirit". What is this area called today?

"I thought they liked to be called Native Americans. Or was it American Indians? I lose track and avoid calling the group anything. Most people appreciate not being called names." - nike_victory

(I gave up on political correctness a looooooong time ago. -CV)

"stolen." - dawntreader90

"Bananafanafofana." - whitetower

"I don't even know the geography of my own country, let alone North America." - wingsister

(You and so many others. -CV)

"I can accurately spell Euclid, Cuyahoga, and Wapakoneta, but not Manato(a)ba. I'm so ashamed!" - jerica

(You might be thinking of the province of Manitoba. Which is nowhere nearby. But nice guess. -CV)

"Minnesota, the 'Land of A Thousand Lakes'" - snowwy

(You know, for a wrong answer, this one is pretty good. You and the handful of folks who said the same thing get jazz hands. -CV)

"It looks like Montana. I'm sure it's not, but the word definitely looks like Montana." - roadparty

"'The Garden of the Great Spirit?' Then it's definitely not anywhere in New Jersey. And don't give me that 'Garden State' crap. New Jersey is a blight. A pestilence. A plague. All due respect to the people that live there of course." - cheezdanish

(Due respect taken. I am suitably chastised. -CV)

"Paradise Lost" - linguafranca

"WEST SIIIIIIIIIDE!" - sweetpea86

"Beggar's Canyon" - atomichatred82

(+1, Star Wars: A New Hope. -CV)

"Survivor: We Ran Out Of Islands." - lots42

"Ginville. 'The Town of the Great Spirit'. Well you know, urbanisation just can't stop." - m31andy

(We'd move to Ginville. -AL&CV)

"It is called !!!! I know this from personal experience, having spent about 23 years living in the area." - jigawattica

"Truly the best accompaniment to lettuce yet devised. Apart from jam of course - but then, what doesn't taste better with jam?" - jonem

"The Thousand Islands, otherwise known as 'the real estate agent's nightmare.' 'Okay, so how much for just that island?'" - n5iln

"The Thousand Islands. True stories, when I was a kid we had a boat we kept up there -- I learned the difference between an 'island' and a 'shoal' is whether or not there's a woody plant (tree, bush, that sort of thing) living on the object in question. Oh, and Abby Hoffman hid out there while he was on the run -- he founded Save the River, an environmentalist activist group." - tall_man

"That would be the Mille Isles, or Thousand Islands, which is also the source of thousand island salad dressing, which is made from manitou squeezins." - feste

(You were doing great up until "manitou squeezins". -CV)

Correct Answer: The Thousand Islands

"Unless you live there. Then it's 'Land of 1000 foot mosquitos. And salad dressing'." - dataangel



4. What inaccurately named animal is best represented by the diplopod illacme plenipes?

(Number of Acme-Wile E. Coyote jokes: 21. -CV)

"illacme. Illacme verymuch." - maggiesox

(Illacyutu. -CV)

"My friend, Steve. He's been called by the wrong name all these years and didn't even realize until he found the papers in his parent's closet. If he hadn't needed his dad's ties from the 80s, he'd still think his name was Steve." - larinzia

"I'm gonna take a random stab and say Kimodo Dragon. Because it's not really a dragon. It doesn't breathe fire, to my knowledge." - thevioletangel

"the first inaccurately named animal that comes to mind is the jumbo shrimp" - chlaal, teenygozer, iankeith

"I'll go with the gut and spit out The Loch Ness Monster, which may be wrong but is still such a cool concept!" - ladylyonesse

"My general rule is that whenever asked about a weird-sounding animal, I say the answer is duck-billed platypus. Eventually it will be correct, won't it? Besides, I just like saying duck-billed platypus. Duck-billed platypus! Duck-billed platypus!" - marag

(16 others seem to have taken your theory to heart. -CV)

"I read that as 'What inaccurately named animal is best represented by the diplopod I lick me penis' and, um, yeah, dude, SO not mental images I EVER wanted thankyouverymuch." - smittenrosebud

"Well, -pod means it's something to do with feet, right? And diplo is ancient Greek for fucking huge, like in diplodocus, so it's something with really huge feet. Sperm whale?" - lustforlike

(And this week's winner of the gruyere Award for Logic Renunication is ... lustforlike!! -AL)

"Politics...let's break that down, shall we? First we have 'poli', meaning many. Then we have 'tics', small blood-sucking insects." - n5iln

(I forget where this quote comes from. -CV)

"The only thing that comes to mind when I read that was the image of some drunken cockney in a pub, hollering: 'I LACK ME PENISES!!!'" - atomichatred82

"Sometimes men come by the name of genius in the same way that certain insects come by the name of centipede--not because they have a hundred feet, but because most people can't count above fourteen. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg" - rikchik

"How do you know it's inaccurately named? You ever count its legs? Hmm... centipede hentai... you sick, sick little man." - lovellama

"Diplopod sounds like something rude. 'Nice shoes...want to diplopod?' Unless it actually means hedgehog, in which case the correct response would be 'You must be fucking joking.'" - puredeadthingy

"The more ambassadorial of the early carnivores, the diplopod first approached other dinosaurs in peace before eating their heads." - whitetower

"Once, we had this dinosaur video, and the narrator was British, so when he said 'diplodocus,' he pronounced it 'DIP-lo-DOH-cus,' instead of 'di-PLOD-icus.' I thought he was stupid. Then I realized that he was British." - kokopellinelli

"Helps to know latin. 'Pleni' is plenty and 'pes' is penis. This is the very poorly named creature the millipenis. Which, on further examination, was proven to have just one." - thurdl01

"I hate everything with more than 4 legs. The more legs it has, the more I hate it. You bastards, there are things crawling on me now. Thousands of things." - kayepants

"My cocker spaniel ate a centepede once. Got it halfway down his throat and then it bit him. He puked it back up, whole. The moral of the story is: Cocker spaniels are freaking DUMB." - cheezdanish

"I once saw a centipede, when my sister pulled it OUT OF THE COUCH when we were living in New Mexico. She used to stick her hands down in between the cushions when she was sitting on the sofa. One day she felt something a little odd, so she pulled it out to look at it. It ended up flying across the room, accompanied by my five year old sister's shrieks. My uncle caught it and put it in a coffee can. The sound of it's legs in the can has made me permanently freaked out by centipedes, as well as unable to drink coffee. And Jess never stuck her hands in the couch again." - dv8dragonfly

"When I was a little kid, I used to go to the SF Zoo all the time. We were members. Once a year, they'd have a Member's Night when you got to go to the zoo after closing time, and run pretty much amok, and get all close to the animals. When I went to the bug house, they had all these large bugs out for us to pet or hold. The terranchula was cute and fuzzy, the hissing cockroaches were scary, but the millipede scared me most of all. I'll tell you why: When I was holding the damned thing, it started crawling up my arm. That was ok, tickley, but ok. Until it decided to try and crawl up the arm of my shirt. Hear that screaming in the back of your head? Amplify it a billion times, and shove that all into a 7 year old girl. Somehow the millipede managed to survive its flight across the room, but I was asked to leave. Which was just fine with me." - lyzz13

(That story killed any desire I might ever have had to go to the SF Zoo. -AL)

"Why does something that can so easily be squashed need so many legs? Roaches only have six and they dodge death strikes much better than milipedes." - whiski_sour

"The Millipede--mild mannered vegetarian cousin of the innacurately named centipede." - corax_onyx

"I remember trying to squash them with my bike when I was a little kid. Then I'd always feel grossed out by the bug guts and sorry for the millipede, and swear never to do it again, but then I'd see another one and I'd try to run that one over, too." - dreamoflight

(Working through that guilt should keep your therapist employed for a few years. -AL)

Correct Answer: Millipede



5. What nickname was given to veteran horror film star Lon Chaney?

"I thought Lon was his nickname already... it's kinda sad if that were really his birth name... Short, unappealing... like a dwarven woman from those Dungeons and Dragons Games." - i_am_stillwater

"I'm guessing it isn't 'hot rod'. Heh, I said rod." - kayepants

"No I'm not Boris Karloff, you cheeky sods" - grapefruitzzz

"Count Chocula." - deltashade

"Considering I still can't think about The Exorcist without getting nightmares, this is so not my question. The way her head turned by 180°... gah." - honeycakehorse

"Contrary to popular belief, it's not 'man of 1000 faces' but the less family-friendly 'man of 1000 feces' because of his strange habit of not only picking up after his dog, but keeping the droppings and displaying them in tidy jars with little tags on them. One jar (bearing the tag 'Late Thursday in June after a supper of kibble mixed with beet juice') recently sold for $45,000.00 at Sothby's." - dataangel

"What could a horror film star have 1000 of? Socks. He's the man of a thousand socks." - sskipstress

"Did you know his real name was Leonidas? Man, I thought my family names were bad. Absalom Pentacost, Raine Verdery, and Myrtle Edna whimper before Leonidas. He is the bad name king, and they worship him with much abasing." - cefirus

(Excuse me, did you say Absalom Pentacost? That's much worse than Leonidas Chaney. No contest. -CV)

(Worst name in my family was my gran's - Alice Ernestine Riddle Ledgerwood. Another ancestress was Lurena Esther Morris McClarnan. Lurena? -AL)

"The Lon Ranger." - deesarrachi

"Spooky Mulder" - impulsezip

"Bite Me, It's Fun!" - akiyasan

"Lon 'Boris Karloff is a no-talent hack' Chaney" - miss_tress
"Lon 'Not Evil - that's an A in my name, not an E' Chaney" - hitferret

"Man of a Thousand Faces. Sorta like the hydra, in a way." - the_wanlorn

"He was known as the 'Man of 1,000 faces,' though he only appeared in 158 films according to the IMDB, so really he's a sesquicentioctoface." - tall_man

"The Man Of A Thousand Faces. Perhaps he could could spare one for Michael Jackson - god knows his scary face is wearing out." - jonem

"The man of a thousand faces. Which he used to great effect in his role as the Dodecahedron in The Phantom Tollbooth." - cheezdanish

"Shaft." - lots42

(The private Dick who gets all the Vice-Presidential nominations. And I can dig it. -CV)

Correct Answer: The Man Of A Thousand Faces

"I always wondered how that worked. Did he keep them in a box, ready to whip out, or did his head sort of spin until he had the correct one was selected? I would suspect the first one would be rather messy, but the second could get really nasty. Especially if the wind changed halfway through." - m31andy



6. If you suddenly had $1,000, what would you do with it? (Note: If you use some other barbaric form of currency, go here to find out how much you have and then answer.)

"Geeze, the dollar is weak. Weak I say. A bit like American beer." - m31andy

"$1000 US = $1,306.34 AU." - lord_of_evil

(Oops. Forgot to completely specify the currency. -AL)

"It's not what I would do with it. It's what the government would do with me for having it. Something having to do with lube, I'm guessing." - snowwy

(OK, fine. $1,000, USD, post-tax. Sheesh, you guys are a bunch of accountants! -AL)

"I could buy 240 dollars worth of puddin' (oh yeah) and still have a bunch of cash left for velvet leisure suits." - rikchik

"I'd go see Batman on IMAX many many more times. And get lots of popcorn." - kayepants

(That's right! Dream big, kayepants!!! -AL)

"Two words: Amazon Wishlist. With €830.91, I could finally place an order large enough to make the delivery guy swear at me the whole way from his truck to my door." - honeycakehorse

"$1000 is about £555, so I would either a) borrow another £111 from my sister (who always seems to have more money that I do) and try to buy my way into some satanic cult. Not that I'm a satanist, but I always thought it might be fun to mess with them by signing them up to a Jehovah's Witness mailing list, or something." - karenbear

"Send the dog to Germany for camp. Although I think that's going to cost more than that..." - lusciousmango

(... Excuse me? -AL)

"Why, to obtain a monkey butler, of course! It would bring me margaritas on a little tray, peel me grapes, and iron the morning paper for me. Oh, and naturally I'd have to buy it a fez, that goes without saying." - jonem

"Hey, this website is neat! It's like babelfish, for money! I'm a millionare in Japan! Whee!!" - christs_fool

"Once I saw the calculator I was lost. That's 109,380 yen, which is quite a nice number. It sounds like you could buy a lot with it. It's only 830 euros, though, which is more than I've ever had in my wallet but is quite a bit less than 1,000. 43,570 rupees sounds nice, as does 10,839 pesos. 1,014,500 wons is a very respectable amount. However, the best thing about that calculator is it taught me there are forms of currency called krones, ringgits, and bolivars. I mean, which would you rather have... the mundane '1000 dollars' or the exciting and foreign '2,144,600 bolivars'?" - dreamoflight

"I would pay CNN to never, EVER mention Michael Jackson again." - penprp

"I would pay the auto shop teacher a hundred bucks to make me a time machine out of a Pinto. Then, I would go back in time, place my $900 in a high-interest savings account. I would would bo back to the future, where my money would have matured into a small fortune. With my small fortune, I would buy all the pants in the world and burn them. Then, I would buy the Chicago Cubs and make them all wear dresses on the field." - katiemariie

(You certainly put a lot of thought into this answer. -AL)

(Well, except for the part with the Pinto... -CV)

"Buy a sofa. We didn't have room for ours in the truck when we moved, and we haven't been able to afford a replacement one since. Do you have any idea how bare a living room looks with just one chair and a tv in it? We have to use the children as footstools." - deza

"Put it in my savings. That Phillipino husband ain't gonna buy himself." - tisme

"I think... I would buy Switzerland. Because of chocolate, and also Roger Federer. And then Roger Federer could feed me chocolate. And if he didn't, I'd menace him with a Swiss Army knife, which I'd also own." - psychoticspy

"Fly to angledge's place and install bookshelves in the dark of night, not unlike a bibliofairy." - impulsezip

"I'd probably bribe generously donate it to my ljdq mods so they could buy liquor and pudding." - dorei
"I would donate it to the ljdq pudding fund. What? That doesn't officially exist? Guess I'm going shopping then!" - ciara_belle

(THAT'S IT. chaosvizier, we're getting a PayPal tip jar. -AL)

"OH! Indulge in the orgiest of food orgies at Whole Foods! That would be the best day *ever*!" - angelchicken

(And this week, it's the Ladies who have the Correct Answer:)

Correct Answer: "Half would go to the LJDQ Pub Crawl, and the rest to a vacation. Maybe all of it would go to a vacation TO an LJDQ Pub Crawl." - ladylyonesse
"Save it for the upcoming pub crawl!" - ladyisabella



And there you have it. Thanks again to everyone who played, and who keeps playing. You make it all worthwhile. Well, no. Gin and hookers make it all worthwhile. But you guys are pretty good too. Keep playing, tell your friends, tell your neighbors, and we'll see you again real soon!

Also, pub crawl, sometime the weekend of July 16th, give or take a day. Be ready!

Rock on,

AL&CV