LJ Daily Answers, 16 May 2005

[angledge.livejournal.com]

As we promised badgerbabe last week, this week's Answers are "guaranteed Harrison Ford-free." But because Hans & Ang are a pair of obnoxious smartasses, that promise led us to this week's theme: F(j)ords That Are Not Harrison Ford.

"don't think you've fooled me for second. I see your Harrison FORD obsession hasn't ended, it's just been cleverly disguised.
...
Okay, you, might've fooled me for a SECOND, but that's all." - badgerbabe

Let's see how clever is working out for us ....

1. In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, at what location along the Great River does the final battle between the armies of Aslan and the White Witch take place?

"The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is one creepy book. It totally traumatized me. To this day, I'm still afraid that if I step too deeply into my closet, it'll eat me." - weill

(Drink! -CV)

"All I remember from that book is that the witch fed the little boy Turkish delight, which is by no means a delightful treat. It's absolutely disgusting. Who thought, 'Hey, let's cover this hunk of red jelly stuff with chocolate! It'll be delightful!' They should be slapped." - i_am_that_is

"I read anything I could get my hands on, endlessly, which is why I can not only tell you that the Fords of Bruinen are the answer, but quote you sections of Puget's Sound as well." - marveen

(OMGWTFJRRTOLK0WNED! -CV)

(Quite a few of you mixed up Middle-Earth & Narnia. -1, inattentive Quiz question reading. -AL)

"Great events in books always take place at somewhere 'Great'. Great River, Great Plains, Great Corner of 7th & Main. It makes me wonder if these places were great before said momentous event, or if there's a 'Pretty nice, but not outstanding' river somewhere going 'Oh, c'mon, pick me! Please? I've got pointy rocks, especially good for killing bad guys on!'" - okuninushii

"The Great River Ford, just north of the Great River Corvette, but slightly south of the Great River Mitsubishi." - seregwen

"The White Castle. Where, in a rarely mentioned chapter, they engage in a burger eating contest to determine the true ruler of Narnia." - valueofaloonie

"Ah, all I remember of those books is my subsequent compulsion to go off to a church and paint over all the Jesuses (Jesii?) with giant lions. That would be so much cooler. I mean, who's going to cross a god that can take your head right off? And regularly eats its own young?" - nextian

"I bet it was CALVARY, go Jesus! You rise up like a righteous flying monkey! Except you're a lion, rawr! Go get 'em, tigerlion! Bear (oh my!) down on them and you turn that other cheek for them! Take that, biatch! Righteous smiting brought to you by Christ, Aslan, and C.S. Mother-fuckin' Lewis!" - diimmortales

"Is this a book question? Not to be picky, but according to imdb.com, the movie is still in post-production. How can I be expected to answer this??" - slickrickt

(imdb.com also says, in regards to this film, "Original Literary Source: C.S. Lewis. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Harpercollins Juvenile Books, Pg. 208, (BK), 0064409422". -CV)

(And the small print says, "Using imdb.com to answer LJDQ questions is WEB CHEATING and comes with a -50 penalty." -AL)

"AHA! My nerdity finally bears fruit! The Ford of Beruna!" - fragbert

(Nerdfruit would probably be a little bitter. -AL)

Correct Answer: The Ford of Beruna.

"Welcome to the Great River. Today, the river is 234 feet wide and 14 feet deep in the center of the river.

Do you want to:
a. Hire a ferry to take you across the Great River
b. Caulk the wagon and float it
c. Ford the river
d. Wait for conditions to improve.

You have decided to Ford the river.

Your wagon has capsized! You lost 56 pounds of food, an extra wagon wheel, three sets of clothing, and one spare wagon tongue. ANGLEDGE has drowned!" - xphilega

(+1 for supreme irony in your choice of which moderator to drown. -AL)


2. Who was the only person to serve as both Vice President and President of the United States without having been elected to either post?

"I'm just going to stand aside and count all the George W. jokes that follow." - drbear

(You know, about half of this week's answers made some half-hearted mention of Bush, but no-one followed through with a witty answer. -AL)

"Did Harrison Ford do it in a movie, or didn't they make that one?" - active_apathy

(Harrison Ford was President in Air Force One. He was also a President-To-Be in Patriot Games and Clear and Present Danger. -CV)

"Chevy Chase. I've seen all that historical footage of him falling over things, and some footage of that Gerald Ford guy making fun of him." - kenshardik

(+1, Saturday Night Live, back when it was actually funny. -CV)

"ME!!! I serve as both President and Vice-President of the LJDQ fanclub (Edmonton Chapter)" - trouble166

"That guy who came after JFK. You know that one. Lincoln, or Washington, or Eisenhower or something." - wingsister

(*headdesk* -AL&CV)

"Zaphod Beeblebrox" - Lots of you.

"I just want to say that there is no Soviet domination of the LJDQ and there never will be under a Ford administration." - captainsblog

((In Soviet Russia, LiveJournal quizzes you! -CV) Stop it. -AL)

"Again with the reading of further questions I now know the answer is Gerald Ford. What's worrying is I don't know if these quizzes are responsible for me knowing his first name or if I do still remember things from other places." - avron

(The LJDQ is responsible for Quizlings knowing stuff?! Maybe it really IS all about the learnin'! -CV&AL)

"We are the mediocre presidents!
You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents
There's Taylor, there's Tyler, there's Fillmore and there's Hayes
There's William Henry Harrison, 'I died in thirty days'
We are the adequate, forgettable,
Occasionally regrettable
Caretaker presidents of the USA!

But as I've just fallen over this week's theme like a boulder in the livingroom, I'd say Gerald Ford." - technoinfidel

"I think the answer is- *trips and falls* Oh, crap! *stands back up* Well, I was about to say Gerald Ford, since Spiro Agnew and Richard Nixon resigned." - drachechan

"In Barbara Walters' voice, he would've been Gewald Foahd?" - siobhan1214

"Proof that you need neither brains, nor personality, nor political acument to take office; you just need a massive scandal to clear out the top ranks. Jack Ryan used those lessons well..." - cmzero

Correct Answer: Gerald Ford.

"along with the misfortune of being named Gerald, was also most memorable for not being memorable" - mer314

"I have never liked the name Gerald. I think its the way it looks. Old bald chubby men should be named Gerald. It looks like an old bald chubby man name. And now watch, someone who reads the ljdq will be named Gerald and I will feel like an ass." - get2llamaschool

"You know, presidents should get new and fancy names when they get elected. Geraldo Florida... More memorable for the poor students who're supposed to memorise stuff like that." - norwegianne


3. And now, some original LJDQ poetry:
"Slartibartfast designed;
Norwegian Blue pined;
What feature of Norway
Is now on my mind?"

"Original, my ass. That was totally from Hamlet." - weill

"Wood. Isn't it good, Norwegian wood? Of course the best Norwegian Wood grows along the edges of the fiords. The middle of the fiords are filled with water that is generally so cold it would put an end to any wood that fell into it." - norwegianne darkeros

(Sorry 'bout that, folks. -AL&CV)

"Norway? More like Snorway!" - kittenbabe, profsparky

(I will not link to it. I will not link to it. -CV)

(Allow me! - AL)

"We have better ones here in NZ by the way. Not that I've really seen either theirs or ours, but the ones here in NZ are here so that makes them better." - avron

"Fjord! Alaska has them too. I will now proceed to tell you about glaciers. They carved these big deep troughs in the earth a long time ago, see? And then the glaciers melted and left the troughs behind. And if you are ever on a flat plain that once held a glacier, and you see random big rocks just sitting around, they're called glacial erratics and the glacier just dropped them as it receded, like it was laying eggs or something." - kokopellinelli

"No idea, but it's probably safe to say it isn't Georgia." - ladylyonesse

"Norwegian supermodel Natassia Malthe." - hitferret

(Fair enough. Full credit. -CV)

"IKEA!!!! Oh wait, that's Sweden. But still. IKEA!!!!" - puredeadthingy

(Granted, half my furniture is IKEA... -CV)

"Oh, fijords so deep blue
Carved like wrinkles on the Earths scrotum
Thank god, not my face" - corbaewench

"Here's my question for you: in a 'names that are funny and fun to say' contest, who would win, chaosvizier or Slartibartfast?" - chlaal

"The country is called Norway? I KNEW IT! My sister used to always tell me it was called Norwegia, you know because whatever is from there is Norwegian." - astria_nova

(Words fail me. -CV)

"Fjord is such a cool word. Fjord fjord fjord. FJORD. It's spelled eff-JORD, but pronounced FEE-YORD. Hooray!" - ospreydreams

Correct Answer: Fjords.


4. Which company utilized modern mass production techniques in the manufacture of its most popular low-cost product, the Model T?

"Microsoft." - nextian, dracothelizard

(Perhaps you're thinking of the Model TRS-80. Ah, the golden days... -CV)

"Ford, who offered the glorious color choices of Dark Black, Real Black, or just plain Black." - ladyisabella

"Also, did you know he used soybeans a lot in his cars, for fabrics and stuff? Or so my Silk soy milk container tells me." - i_am_that_is

"The Ford Motor Company. That paragon of industrialism and soul-destroying production line automation" - darkeros

"Harrison Ford Inc., producer of Millenium Falcons and Batmobiles." - kokopellinelli

"I thought that said 'the Mr T'. It's fuel efficient, foo'!" - meandstuff
"I'm now wondering what the world would be like if the Ford Motor Company turned their mass production techniques towards providing the world with a low-cost Mr. T instead. Better milage, and no jibba-jabber." - kenshardik
"Their original slogan was: 'I pity the fool who don’t buy my car!'" - slickrickt, tofusquirrel

"Model T's can be found at lowest cost on Sesame Street. Psst! Hey, buddy...ya wanna buy...a T? But it took Henry Ford to mass-produce motorized models of the letter T." - shadowflyer

"Model T > Car > Car Factory > Detroit > Detroit Tigers > Tony the Tiger, therefore Tony the Tiger is my answer. Really." - drachechan

"Björn Fjörd Mötör Cömpany. There -- I've just completed a Norwegian Scrabble Triple Word Score, and used up all the umlauts left on the Internet. So there." - thatliardesmond

"I live near Detroit. I think I knew the word 'Ford' in the womb." - okuninushii

"Ford Mortar Company." - marveen

(The T is for Tar. -CV)

"The East India T Company, of course!" - jerica

"I had to do a history report on the Model T in high school. Only, I didn't like history and my teacher was a really old nun who smelled funny and still believed in whacking deviant students with a ruler. In a way that makes no sense whatsoever, I managed to forever link the Model T with that scary nun and now I don't like Fords." - mer314

"you have to wonder what the designs were for Models A through S." - buzz

"The Ford Motor Company, who later produced the much less popular Edsel. (But we forgive them, because they also created the Mustang.)" - debvel

"model T's masses were not produced, Ms. Banks is all natural." - feste

Correct Answer: The Ford Motor Company.


5. Andrew Dice Clay took his vulgar comedy routine to the big screen in which 1990 box-office flop?

"Andrew Dice Clay stars in This Week's ljdq Theme! Coming this summer to a theater near you!" - silent_r_infork

"I think I'll go with the immortal 0words of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes on this one and say, 'Who cares?'" - i_am_that_is

(Fair enough. Apparently this movie did not leave a deep impression on the collective unconscious of the Quizlings. -AL)

"I wouldn't know, I only watch porn." - eridanusus

"I remember the title and the fact that Andrew Dice Clay was in it. I've repressed all memories of the rest." - chaobell

"Who would name their kid 'Dice' in the first place? I mean, unless they had a gambling addiction." - wingsister

"I'd try and make up a cunning and amusing answer based on pop culture of the time and my own witty viewpoint, but back in 1990 I was still drooling and sucking my thumb so I'm kind of at a loss." - dreamoflight

"I've never heard of it. Though, maybe I'm too young. Maybe too Norwegian? Maybe... well, maybe something else?" - norwegianne

"I think it's 'Dude! Where's My Car?', but I'm just guessing. It's the only Car movie I can think of other than the upcoming Pixar movie that isn't out in theaters yet." - ladyisabella

"I'm one of the few people who liked that movie. Then again, I also liked 'Hudson Hawk'. Maybe my house was built on a chemical dump or something." -kenshardik

"I don't even have to look this up. Ford Fairlane. A movie so risibly awful that it was banned in Cambodia. Ok, I made that last bit up, but it should have been banned in Cambodia!" - cheezdanish

(Actually, it was banned in Cambodia. -CV)

(Really? -AL)

(No, I'm just making crap up. -CV)

"Hickory Dickory Dock
Andrew Dice Had a Box Office Flop?
Don't Know What Made You Say
His Name In Here Today
Good Excuse For An F-bomb To Drop!" - ladylyonesse

"Hickory Dickory Dock
The bitch sucked Dice Clay's cock
Ford Fairlaine was as dead
As that session of head
Which is why it's for ljdq'ers to mock." - dorei

"Fjord Fjairljaine." - umbralcorax

Correct Answer: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane.


6. What kind of car do you drive?

"I am still sixteen, and have not completed Driver's Ed, see, because I'm taking it online, and it is so hard to focus on the moving pictures of cars without clicking away to go to see porn--I mean high-quality fanfic." - nextian

"My 'Cherry Bomb'. A 2001 Suzuki Swift hatchback. Bright red! I love being able to fit into those tiny spaces in crowded parking lots. It's also fun to watch the SUV drivers cry when they can't find a spot." - ladyisabella

"Dodge. It's not a brand name, it's a recommendation!" - darkeros

"I used to have a Firebird, but... well... lets not talk about that." - kittenbabe

"A red Ford Focus hatchback that I got on Valentine's day of last year, and the stupid dealership wouldn't let me bargan for upgrades." - teleute12

"My first car was a Dodge Daytona. The car's name was 'Efi'. It was right on the side of the car. Someone told me it stood for 'electronic fuel injection' but, come on, how silly is that?" - kenshardik

"Considering I live in the Washington, D.C. area, it'd be a misnomer to ask what car I 'drive'. It'd be much more accurate to ask, 'what car do you sit in on the beltway for a couple of hours trying to get to your destination?' To which I'd have to answer, 'one that is not nearly comfortable enough.'" - dorei

"I fly around using an umbrella, like Mary Poppins. Whee!" - drachechan

"The same kind of car that any self-respecting lesbian drives nowadays: a Subaru Legacy Outback station wagon. I love this car. It's red, it's roomy, it has heated seats (aka butt-warmers), it has a CD player, it gets me where I need to go. There is that minor detail about me not being a lesbian, but if the car gets me chicks anyway, I'm all for that." - chlaal

"No can drive. But if I could, I'd love a tank. Wouldn't that be AWESOME?" - eridanusus

"A rather ugly 1977 F-150. I call her Regan, because she has a tendency to twitch, shake, and act generally spastic. Then I have to explain very quickly that it's a reference to 'The Exorcist,' not the former President." - tabbyclaw

"Do you really want to let me drive a car? I do possess a New Jersey driver's license--with everything that implies. *grins maniacally*" - ataralas

(I'll see you on the GSP, challenger. -CV)

"Today while I was on the highway I almost got run off the road by the state police bomb squad van which had a flat and swerved across two lanes and ended up in the ditch. I have to admit, I didn't get out and check to make sure they were okay...but I was sorta expecting them to blow up. Hmmm...this is not an answer to your question, but it was car related. And really...who's got a cooler car than the bomb squad van?" - footontheground

"I used to drive a PT Cruiser, but I ran that into a pole. And I also used to drive a Pontiac Grand Prix, but I broke up with the guy that owned it. I am currently looking forward to getting a cherry red Mustang...and the boy who owns it." - astria_nova

(Any takers, male Quizlings? -AL)

"A four-door Saturn, which sometimes looks brown and sometimes looks purple, but the manufacturers claim: 'It's PLUM.' Why is everything named after food? Huh?" - crostfingrs

(I believe the color you're referring to is "plum mist". I know because my car was sold to me under the auspices of being of the color "plum mist". I have since wondered whether plums really are this color when they are pulverised into a fine mist. Facts remain elusive. -CV)

"I'm waiting for my flying car, promised to me by numerous media sources, including the Jetsons and a lot of 60's and 70's SF. I WANT MY FLYING CAR, DAMMIT." - basking_lizard

"I admit I've been slacking
so I turned to screen
to find what what I was lacking:
the Daily Quiz scene!

First came the Lord
then pimp-daddy G-Ford
And Norway asshored
that I would see a fjord.
Then a running board
with four wheels (I'm a Ford!)
Led to a movie that scored
on the cutting room floor(ed).

I must finish my list
Before I bust my spleen
And that's what I've missed
on the Daily Quiz scene.

Gee golly, this was a long reply, but I've missed you guys." - diimmortales

Correct Answer: Ahh, there's no one correct answer to this week's #6. Full credit to everyone who answered.

Well, it seems that our effort at poetry inspired lots of poetry from all of you. You imitative monkeys! So, watch carefully .... Ang is giving Hans a dollar .... now Hans is giving Ang a dollar .... Oh, just kidding. We would never exploit you all that way.

By the way, we now have just over 900 watchers. A while back, we said that when we get to 1,000 watchers, we are going to celebrate with an LJDQ Pub Crawl. This is going to happen some time this summer, people! Simultaneous pub crawls in San Francisco (with angledge) and New York City (with chaosvizier)! If you live too far away to attend either of them, feel free to try to arrange a local pub crawl with other Quizlings in your town/state/nation. We will post details of when & where as they become available.

Rock on,

AL&CV.

Comments

[catnip-martini.livejournal.com]

Damn, makes me wish I were over twenty-one, I'd offer a pub crawl in Colorado.

Cate

[kittenbabe.livejournal.com]

High fives profsparky for sharing an answer.

[tabbyclaw.livejournal.com]

I shall have to tell Regan she made it into the LJDQ. It might delight her enough that she'll consent to starting the first time for a day or two.

[xphilega.livejournal.com]

+1!!! Yay! Why was drowning AL supremely ironic?

[eridanusus.livejournal.com]

Real turkish delight is not covered in chocolate. I think it's covered in cornflour, actual, and it's delightfully delicious.

That said, I was beginning to think I'd imagined answering the quiz, then I came throuogh and got quoted for the half assed pron and explosion answers.

[eridanusus.livejournal.com]

Also, I can pub crawl in Christchurch, New Zealnad! Apart from the bit where my medication won't let me drink much, but hey, I don't need medication, right? Right?

[shigogouhou.livejournal.com]

And since when is an Oregon Trail reference not an immediate bonus point? I demand a rule change!

[ankhet.livejournal.com]

*cries* can't yall just not get to 1000 till next March? Cos then I can join you in the pubcrawl in SF! *sniffle*

[happybydefault.livejournal.com]

You know...I had a Saturn that I called purple and everyone else called red-brown. I don't remember it being called "Plum Mist" on the papers but then I was way too excited about getting my first car.

I should have paid less attention to the color and more to the mechanics of the car. The engine blew up on the way home from the dealership. Taught me an important lesson though. Never buy a car from a gun-toting man on a horse.

[ihateusernames.livejournal.com]

Ack! I was not aware of that Kenya cartoon, but am hopelessly addicted and obsessed with the badger toons on that website. So since you directed me to the website, I remembered how badly I needed to see the badger toon, and have been sitting here for half an hour with it playing in the background, because I seemingly cannot get enough of that damn song.

*sigh* As far as pub crawls go, I live near Chicago. Talk about being stuck-- pub crawls on opposite sides of the country and I'm in the Good Ol' Midwest: Smack Dab in the Middle. Don't worry, pub crawl or no, I'll drink to LJDQ on whatever day you pick. Hell, I'm doing it right now! Which is why I am rambling in a comment in your community. I'm going to go watch Star Wars now.

*badger badger badger badger badger badger badger...*
*dances*
(Yes, I dance to the badger cartoon...)

[active-apathy.livejournal.com]

w00t! Quoted!

Um..


*hides from badgerbabe*

[lyzz13.livejournal.com]

Swwet! I'm so there with the SF pub crawl. Especially if you end up at either Zietgiest or Palace Pigale (which for the longest time I didn't know the name of, but can recognize it from the shoe store next door.). Hell, I think I could lead and SF pub crawl, ending the night, like every good drunken night, at Sparky's.

[ckirkman.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahah... OREGON TRAIL RULES! Rock on xphilega

[trouble166.livejournal.com]

Come up to Canada. The "legal" age here is either 18 or 19 depending on which Province you are in.

[xphilega.livejournal.com]

http://www.classicgaming.com/rotw/otrail.shtml

you can still play!! well...kinda.

[shigogouhou.livejournal.com]

I much prefer the Windows version to the Apple. Better graphics and music. Plus I got to play sniper, refusing to count any non-head-shot kills during hunting.

Why can't you fish though? Someone please answer me that.

[palmer-kun.livejournal.com]

I second this demand!

That was an awesome reference!

[blunder-buss.livejournal.com]

Yeah! Granted, the game I played wasn't Oregon Trail, but it was similar!

[lots42.livejournal.com]

All I really remember of 'Ford Fairlane' is the ads in several comics I own, which show face shots of the actors. Al Bundy was in there and suprise, suprise, he played a down on his luck loser.

I hate unoriginallity.

Now you know and knowing is half the battle.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I always wasted all my ammo pointlessly slaughtering the wildlife.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

It may be legal to drink in Canada but they don't actually have any booze, it being Canada. The strongest drink available is a Diet Dr. Pepper mixed in with caffiene free Barq's Rootbeer.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Because fishing might lead to success. The only purpose of the Oregon Trail game was to watch all your friends and family die when the food supply dips below 'Enough for three thousands days'.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I never really cared what Red Turkish Delight was. All I really wanted to know was why the damn kid was accepting candy from strangers. Especially ones that lived in the back of the damn closet!

[trouble166.livejournal.com]

And American beer is like making love in a canoe. They are both fucking close to water.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I thought -my- medication wouldn't let me drink too much, then I discovered I could still moderately get drunk on my meds.

Fortunately, the taste of most alcohol (fermented rat piss and wet dog) prevents me from getting blotto.