LJ Daily Answers: 25 March 2005

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"I'm assuming the theme is bunnies, which is so clever of you. Tell me, how much work does go into deciding the themes?" - stormyskies

(Well, first off, we each have to consume a goodly quantity of hard liquor. angledge enjoys a fine scotch whisky, while I am more inclined towards a well-constructed gin and tonic. After that sinks in, we look for a topic that could conceivably cause physical harm to one or more of our contestants...

"I'm deathly allergic to bunnies. I dearly hope I do not die doing this quiz." - nekoama

...and there you have it. Bunnies = possible death, so we'll go with that. -CV)

It's almost Easter, in which the Easter Bunny was nailed to a cross and then rose again from a chocolate egg patch to bring candy to good little sinner bunnies everywhere. At least, I think that's how it goes. Anyway, in honor of the Easter Bunny's noble and selfless sacrifice, we dedicate this quiz to creatures of the lagomorphic persuasion. So grab your Cadbury's Creme Eggs and some Godiva Chocolate Liquor and read on!



1. Which novel features the not-quite-human characters Fiver, Bigwig, and General Woundwort?

"HRUDUDIL! HLAOROO! TINGLE TINGLE KOOLOO LIMPAH!" - amzrigh

(A brief consultation with Babel Fish tells me that you do not have the correct answer here. Better luck next time. -CV)

(A brief consultation with the book Watership Down tells me that the first two words make sense. But the rest is still incomprehensible, so here's your spiffington Award for Total Gibberish! -AL)

"Bigwig just reminds me of Fozziwig, which in turns makes me say things like, 'That's your speech? It was short...pointless... I loved it!'" - twilight_angel

(+1, A Muppet Christmas Carol. -CV)

"no doubt some kind of improbable childrens story with anthropomorphised animals given human motivations and behaving in communal ways completely against their natural instincts. man, i'd love to see a story like that where all the cute liddle animals suddenly revert back to what nature intended them to be. mm... bloodbath." - restriction

(Rent the movie. You'd be surprised at the bunny blood that ensues. -CV)

"Woundwort? Ah, that would be the Russian Voldemort." - kiffany

(Da, Comrade Potter, in Sowiet Hogvarts, spells cast you! -CV)

(Fuck, that made no sense. Yakov Smirnoff jokes are now officially verboten. -CV)

(Oh yeah, like that's going to last more than a week... -AL)

"I don't know, but I it makes me wonder what they named their children." - foxbodysleeper

"Top Gun, The Novel." - diimortales

(I'm assuming you are making reference to fighter pilot names. I'll have you know, it's not only fighter pilots that get fighter pilot names. My boss hands them out, too. In case you were wondering, I'm "Fish Stick". -AL)

"I'm guessing it has to do with small furry things. Wind In The Willows. What? Rats are so too small, cute and furry. They are an underepresented authority. *waves Rats Are People Too banner*" = puredeadthingy
"The fine novel "An American Tale: Fiver Goes West." Bigwig was the mean ol' cat and General Woundwort was the head mouse sherrif. Mice have feelings too! (And they apparently get neglected just like most children.)" - theworryrock

(Thank you both for standing up for the rights of lesser rodentia. -CV)

"Well. Kevin Bacon was in Animal House with John Belushi, who provided a voice for a rather inappropriate cartoon known as "Tarzoon, la honte de la jungle," whose title was quite obviously derived from the more famous Tarzan. In 1999, Nigel Hawthorne was in Disney's version of Tarzan. Hawthorne was, much earlier in his career, in A Night to Remember...which was about the Titanic, which was a really big Watership that went Down in the Atlantic!" - turgidnothings

(I'm afraid your stream of consciousness has suffered a drought. -CV)

"Watership Down. It's about bunnies." - too many LOST addicts in this crowd...

(Did someone say LOST?... -AL)

"I say Watership Down. All I know that it's a book with rabbits and possibly a ship. Pirate rabbits?" - vanbrosia

"Watership Down, the book I haven't seen hide nor hare of since eighth grade" - melster

"You know, there was a butcher in England, around the time the film came out, who put up a sign that read; 'Watership Down; you've read the book, seen the movie, now eat the cast!'" - littlemoose

"I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and say Watership Down. Cos, y'know, rabbits. That was the one with the rabbits, right? I can never remember... sometimes I confuse it with that Disney movie with cruise ship and the sea monster where people have to crawl around on the ceiling. They really should've called it 'Planet of the Bunnies' or something, because the words water, ship, and down really just imply sea monsters to me. Yes, I know it's a place. That doesn't stop me from getting confused." - nicomaureen

"I hope I'm not the only one around here who was traumatised as a child by accidentally tuning in halfway through the cartoon..." - tronella

(Nope... meet your new friends, bummerfly, litteststeph and lexsboo! -CV)

"My sister said, 'We're going to rent a cartoon movie about cute little bunnies.' And an eight-year-old me said, 'Yay! Bunnies!' And then we watched Watership Down and I have been traumatized ever since. And thank YOU so very much for bringing up old terrors." - bummerfly
"Watership Down that along with the horse getting sucked into the mud in the Neverending story gave me nightmares all throughout my childhood." - litteststeph
"Well the only two books that I know that are bunny-centric are Watership Down and The Velveteen Rabbit. So clearly it must be one of those two. I'm gonna go with Watership Down, for you at ljdq are evil, and prolly enjoy the sadness and weeping that the cartoon version caused me." - lexsboo

Correct Answer: Watership Down

"The source of all my bunny phobias. Did you know that they eat their young? Also, in art they used to represent hell and doom and stuff like that. Also, I once read a true story about a ghost bunny with red eyes and sharp claws, and she scratched the woman who used to own her, and she was growling and stuff. And then there was that damn scary bunny costume in Donny Darko. Oh, and the white rabbit from Holy Grail, too. Though I think he’s cuter than the others." - kokopellinelli

"Now if you’ll excuse me, I suddenly have a craving for Hossenfeffer." - neon_mongoose



2. Which animated character, formerly voiced by Mel Blanc, was voiced instead by Billy West in the film "Space Jam" due to Mel's being deceased at the time?

"Wait, Space Jam is a real movie? I thought that was a myth Hollywood created to scare me." - silent_r_infork

(Be afraid. Be very afraid. -CV)

"Why is it that I now have a weird tune that sounds a bit like 'Saturday Night' except only with the words Space Jam in it going round my head?" - lizzyrose89

"I can probably logic this one out. Last time I saw Billy West, he was playing Fry on "Futurama." Fry was in love with a girl with one really large eye. She got eye surgery, but he tried to talk her out of it. Everyone knows that carrots can keep you from needing eye surgery, so logically in "Space Jam" Billy West would be playing someone who was in love with that bunny chick, because she ate carrots. Everyone in that movie was in love with the bunny chick. I have not narrowed my list down at all. Damn." - tabbyclaw

(Once again, logic takes a back seat to quizlings. -AL)

"*immediately gets the song 'I believe I can fly' in her head* Oh god I can't answer this now, it burns! *writhes in agony*" - vanbrosia

"I'm still not sure why Michael Jordan was being punished by his agent." - ga_sunshine

(It came down to two very simple equations. Michael Jordan + Basketball = Oodles Of Money, and Michael Jordan + Baseball = Financial Drought. You do the math. -CV)

"Sounds like a Beatrix Potter book. Or porn. Or Beatrix Potter porn... eww... I just ruined my childhood. Again." - warrame

(Drink! -AL)

"Let's just be glad the poor man died before he could see WB rape his life's creation and the childhood of millions." - sanguinary
"I saw that 'modernized' bastardization they intend to make..... ::shudders:: Buzz Bunny indeed.... Inspires me with an urge to don a blond braided wig and a helmet and go 'Kill the (deformed) Waaabbbbbiiiitttt!'" - sethrak
"have you guys seen the Loonatics trailer? So. Wrong. Is 'spaz' somehow not incredibly un-PC in America?" - tronella
"have you seen the new looney toons, speaking of that? they're all spikey and black and pastel and WEIRD. And icky. And bad." - melster

(I agree with everyone here on the subject of the new Looney Toons. kokopellinelli graciously provided a sample picture of Loonatic Spaz, Buzz, and Duck.

In contrast, diimmortales and nekoama both offered this HOLY CHRIST NOT EVEN REMOTELY SAFE FOR WORK concept of Buzz Bunny of the new Loonatics. Judge for yourself. -CV)

"I used to get Mel Blanc and Mel Brooks mixed up. Imagine my confusion that the guy who played the rabbi in Robin Hood: Men in Tights could be the same person who did the voice of Bugs Bunny. Of course, he wasn't. But that would have been weird." - jtersesk

"Mel wasn't really dead--his agent took him too literally when he said, 'Tell them I'm calling in dead,' at seven in the morning after he'd been out drinking with Taz all night." - shannon_sue

"Mel Blanc is actually allergic to carrots. Or was, rather, because he's dead. Man, if he was in hell, you can just imagine these carrots on legs chasing him everywhere yelling 'WHAT'S UP *NOW*, DOC?'" - eridanusus

"When has 'being deceased' ever stopped anyone from appearing in films? Bela Lugosi appeared all the way through Plan 9 From Outer Space even though he'd died before shooting started." - m31andy

"Deceased at the time? Did he come back? Ooer, nothing worse than an undead voice actor." - nicomaureen

"I like 'being deceased at the time.' Like he was just out of the office, and then he stopped being deceased and went back to work. Like Lazarus or Jesus or something." - lotusbiosm

(Excellent job at incorporating Easter into your answer. +1. Well, +0.5, because I don't think you meant for that to happen. And because I'm feeling extra mean today. -CV)

"damn bugs bunny was hawt as a chick bunny." - restriction
"I'll take Bugs in a dress over Lola any day!" - aliza250
"I'm waiting for America to outlaw all the cross-dressing Bugs cartoons. Think of the children, George W!" - _tumblweed

"that rabbit dude. . .i'm have 'roger rabbit' stuck in my head, but i'm pretty sure that was a different rabbit. Jessica rabbit? She was totally hot. I can't believe i can't remember this dudes name. .he was gray, and said 'what's up doc a lot'. Man, how many drugs have i been doing?" - lostreality

(Please, God, let her be fucking with me on this one. Please. -CV)

Correct Answer: Bugs Bunny (and Elmer Fudd, but he's not really relevant here)



3. "Run, Rabbit, Run" is the title of two different songs performed by which two musical artists?

(For those of you who said "Pink Floyd", you get half credit. The name of that song is "Breathe", although it does contain the lyrics "Run Rabbit Run". -CV)

"I don't know...but can I give a shout-out to my sister, head of Central Alabama House Rabbit Society? Off-topic and yet on-topic. Hi Karen!" - silent_r_infork

"David Hasslehoff and MacGyver" - lots42

"John Updike and Richard Adams?" - v827

"Barry White and Isaac Hayes. It's that sort of Rabbit, dontcha know. Rrawr!" - prettypinkkitty

"Hare-y Connick Junior and Hare-y Bellafonte" - umbralcorax
"I'm guessing they're hare bands of some kind." - ajmcoqui

((Ah, delicious punnery. -CV) HATE!!! -AL)

"knowing this quiz, it's sting and...uhm...sting singing in a higher pitched voice." - elpblonde
"Considering that this is the ljdq, I shall assume that the answer to one of them is Sting. For the other I will fall back to my default group, ABBA." - anna_sinistra

"The only "Run, rabbit, run" I can think of is a line from Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon.... which is now stuck in my head. But just that one line. DAMN YOU!" - ninchica7
"now I have to go through old LJDQ answers to find the one that says which song to start humming to get that damn song out of my head." - psychoticspy

(Remember, kids: The Bangles cures internal song looping! Try Manic Monday or Walk Like An Egyptian, and hurry; your brain can't take much more... -AL)

"I read that as 'Run, Rabbi, Run.' It was the b-side of Mott the Hoople's 'All the Young Jews.'" - nicomaureen
"I first read that as 'Run, Rabid Run', which is made funnier by the fact that a few minutes afterwards, Jack from Will and Grace got 'Rabbit Run' confused with 'Rabid Nun'." - kiffany
"I read that as Run, Rudolph, Run, and, that would be Chuck Berry and a bunch of other artists doing lame cover versions. *cough*Hanson*cough*" - norwegianne

"Walk Idiot Walk is by the Hives. I'm going to say that they did Run, Rabbit, Run as well." - gaaak

"if it'll earn me a point, I'm willing to sing it. In my swimsuit. Wearing rabbit ears." - littlemoose

(Feel free to email me an MPEG as proof. -CV)

Correct Answer: Eminem and Nirvana



4. In boxing, an illegal punch to the back of the head is called what?

"A donkeypunch." - jargon, foxbodysleeper, kiffany, ga_sunshine, theworryrock, diimmortales, midnight_emily, ninchica7

(Shame on all of you. And shame on me for not seeing that coming a mile away. -CV)

"PWNED!!1" - jelymo

"Pay-per-view ratings." - neon_mongoose

(Full credit. -CV)

"it's only illegal if you're caught!" - twilight_angel

"what's so cool about putting two guys in a ring and watching them beat the crap out of each other?" - uninhibitedmuse
"Sweaty, muscular men in shorts, indulging in homo-erotic grappling and grunting.... Excuse me. A cold shower beckons." - jonem

(And that's the way it is. -CV)

"Tanya Harding must do alot of those, no?" - baguette_fiend

"A rabbit punch, which is ironic, because rabbits are the pacifists of the animal world. In much the same way as the French are the pacifists of the human world, which is to say, when attacked they run away screaming like a little girl." - chlaal

Correct Answer: Rabbit Punch

"I doubt any boxing maneuver could be as effective as allowing your pants to fall down in the middle of a spar at a karate seminar" - fanboyextream

(That's enough out of you, mister. -CV)



5. Cheiloschisis (an oral facial cleft) is more commonly known as what?

"an std you get from giving a bunny a blowjob" - spam_with_wings

(And quite honestly, if you're sucking off a bunny, that's the least you deserve. -CV)

"Cheap way for Star Trek producers to save on makeup" - lots42

"A Cary Grant chin" - tabbyclaw

"A butt chin" - invalidcaracter, sexkittenb, imbruedgolgtha, _digitalangel, sweetjane_69

(South Park strikes again... -CV)

"E, G, B, D, F...These are the lines of the facial cleft!" - purple_roses

(Educational and musically delicious. Full credit. -CV)

"I keep reading that as Cheliosis and thinking to myself: what a horrible fate to grow up with a face like Chris Chelios." - hitferret

"A split lip from getting punched in the mouth after 'looking for Easter eggs' in someone else's 'garden'. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink." - gleefulfreak

"An 'oral facial cleft' sounds like an unholy mix between porn, Oreal cream, disfigurement, and ... more porn. Oh god, crazy mental images Round Two. It burns!" - vanbrosia
"Oral facial cleft? Like the cleft on a chin? See, those just make me think of John Travolta, which makes me think of either "Face/Off" or "Michael," hopefully not together. A psychopathic killer who got a new face/an FBI agent who got a new face and an angel on earth? Oh, boy, that's the worst mental image EVER. Thank you, LJDQ, now I have to wash my brain out!" - twilight_angel

(Double drink! -AL)

Correct Answer: Hare Lip

"Not to be confused with hair lip, a common ailment of middle-aged women." - aliza250
"not to be confused with hairy lip, which is Tomselleckitis." - soimpossible414



6. What are you doing this Easter/Passover/Solstice/Holy Week/long weekend/regular weekend?

(Or, better yet, forget that Passover thing, which is next month. Or that Solstice thing, because I meant Equinox. My bad. -CV)

"Finally getting to see my boyfriend after a month apart. We've got a hotel room and he's bring an assload of video games. Sex and video games: what more could a girl possibly want?" - ladynemo

(purple_roses has an idea... -CV)

"Masturbating. I got a great new Japanese vibrator recently and it needs a good test run." - purple_roses

(And this week's LJDQ TMI Award goes to... purple_roses! -CV)

"Sinning as much as possible because whatshisface died for all of them already" - imbruedgolgtha
"Finding all the posters of Jesus on a cross plastered around the city and drawing a speech bubble on them that says "brb"." - eridanusus
"Rolling back the rock I live behind. Good enough for Jesus - good enough for me!" - dv8dragonfly
"Celebrate Zombie Jesus Day! He is back from the dead to save our souls or eat our brains!" - midnight_emily

"This passover I will be waiting for the bread to rise. I have a whole week, that ought to be enough time." - ooyoumasha

(Jokes about the lack of leavening earn you the Geek of the Week Award. Have a -1 with a side serving of matzo bread. -AL)

"I'm considering going to bed on Friday and then rising again on the third day." - mrpyro

"Attempting to go get as fucked up as possible since it's Spring Break over here. All in homey J's name, of course." - sexkittenb

"Not taking any days off, because my college SUCKS. I'll be celebrating with my good friend amaretto. Amaretto & coke. Mmmmmmmm..." - ninchica7

(If you drink enough of them, you may see God. -AL)

"Homework. After that I think I might take a break to do some homework, then I'll get back to the homework, and after dinner I might wind down by doing some nice homework." - kiffany

"Studying for the DAT. Impending Test of Doom has sapped me of all funny." - anna_sinistra

(What, pray tell, is the DAT? -AL)

"Well, since my girlfriend and I are currently on opposite sides of the 49th parallel, I can't hunt for her easter egg (if you know what I mean)... I guess I'll be on AIM all night, feeling lonely." - cwtyger

(Are you, like, far apart on opposite sides of the 49th parallel? Because if she's just a few inches over the line, you might be able to reach. -AL)

"Doing yoga. I'll try to include Rabbit Pose:
- gleefulfreak

"Wishing it were over so that I can begin looking for all the hot Catholic girls that gave up sex for Lent." - foxbodysleeper

"I'm going hiking in the bush." - warrame
"Working overtime for extra money." - booster17

(Oh, is THAT what you call it? -CV)

"The same thing I do every night, Pinky: Try to take over the world!" - profsparky, fanboyextream, lots42, chlaal, neon_mongoose

(+1, Animaniacs. -CV)

"Staying as far away from my family as possible and eating creme eggs. Oh yeah, and making a 'weapon wall' to hang all my weapons on." - doomgirl

(doomgirl ... I think I love you. -AL)

"I'm making my own Easter Eggs! Take that, you commercialist corporate bastards! *gives finger*" - vanbrosia

"eating easter egg sandwiches. That's right. Cracking easter eggs with my forhead and putting the crumbled remains onto bread or hot cross buns and eating them. Note: cracking eggs with stuff in the centre isn't a good idea. It gets really messy." - caseypuffy

Correct Answer: "Chillaxin’ -- (Chillin’ x Relaxin’)" - modestlobster



Extra Credit: If you were to eat an Easter Bunny, where do you start: ears, feet, middle, or other?

"i dont get how bunnies tie into the whole easter thing, we should have children eating chocolate jesus' that are filled with strawberry jelly" - spam_with_wings

"According to Leviticus 11 God says I shouldn't eat hares or coneys (bunnies) so sorry, no Easter Bunny for me" - dracothelizard

"I don't eat bunnies. I'm a vegetarian, and besides, those Peep things are nasty. Lots of fun to microwave though." - chlaal

(Full credit for your hatred of peeps. -CV)

"If I actually think about eating a chocolate bunny, I start feeling guilty. Cuz, I mean, bunny." - amzrigh

"True story--at a rabbit convention, a couple with a small child asked my sister for recipes for cooking rabbits, and she told them she prefers to eat babies. The mother of the child nearly cried." - silent_r_infork

(Rabbit convention? That's a new one on me... -CV)

"Chocolate rabbit? Do people still make those? I get a chocolate computer every year. I carve “Windows” into the screen and smash it, which is therapeutic and keeps me from doing to my real computer. Mmmm, Windows XP is delicious." - neon_mongoose

"always start at the ears, but i leave the face for last, so his ears are first to go, then his feet and middle and finally the cutre little face, saving the little bunny nose for last!" - jenny_1981

"I always go for the jugular." - kokopellinelli

"The neck. Right after a good donkey punch. Shame on me [again]." - foxbodysleeper

"Are we talking a bunny or a person in a bunny suit? Because if it's the latter we'd have to start off somewhere very different indeed." - sweetjane_69

"You start with the gut; get at the fucking Cadbury Creme Eggs at the source!" - jargon

"Feet first, then they can't get away. Completely different from jelly babies where you bite the head off first and watch them run blindly into obstacles." - booster17

"It depends on whether it's solid chocolate or hollow. Solid bunnies go deaf, then parapeligic, then acephalic. They're the lucky ones. Hollow bunnies get put in a plastic bag (in order to not lose any of the chocolaty goodness) then smashed into easily edible fragments." - drewbeartx

"If it were real, I would make hossenpfeffer and probably start with the thigh. It's tasty and soft when properly braised.
But if it's chocolate, oh boy! I do not just bite the bunny. First, the bunny is delicately melted, feet first, in a double boiler until the little candy eyes are floating pitifully upon an ocaon of chocolate.
Then the melted bunny is used to dip oreos for later consumption. And when we get tired of that, we microwave Peeps until they explode. 37 seconds on high, baby!" - uninhibitedmuse

"The first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose. The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by the right . . . Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever." - anna_sinistra

(+1, The Princess Bride. Not featuring any Rabbits Of Unusual Size, though. -CV)



And that's all the bunniness we have time for without paying for the Playboy Channel. Hoppy Holiday weekend, thank you all again for your rabbit devotion to the quiz, and we'll see you hare next week, starting Tuesday with our brand spanking new schedule. Isn't it great? Sure it is!

Rock on,

AL&CV