LJ Daily Answers: 28 February 2011

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"Don't feel bad about the lateness. Just pretend you're only learning English for today. Tuesday and Thursday are 2 days that ALWAYS get mixed up by English learners. I should know, I teach them." - ANONYMOUS

Strangely, in French, I always mix up lundi and jeudi, for no good reason. And yet, in Spanish, the same two days lunes and jueves don't mix me up, because I know that "v" means Thursday. Logic: I'm doing it wrong.

"This week's quiz has really got me stumped, which is extremely unfortunate considering I think the theme has something to do with jumping and we can all imagine how hard that is to do without legs." - demon_666

Short week this week; my bad. But still, the answers must go on!



1. Whoopi Goldberg starred in what mid-80's musically-named comedy?

"Aha! Trick question. To give an answer would be to imply that Whoopi Goldberg had ever been funny. Nice try, LJDQ!" - mattwolf, lots42

"Have you seen The View lately? Oh Whoopi, how far you've fallen." - marasca

"A thousand poxes upon you, LJDQ, for getting that 'Makin' Whoopie' song stuck in my head. YOU TOTALLY MEANT TO DO THAT." - lisacharly

"It's either 'Sister Act' or 'Star Trek: the Next Generation'." - sticky9fingers

(To be fair, ST:TNG was pretty comedic at times. -CV)

"As opposed to the musically-themed 'Sister Act' not having a musically-named title?" - cholma

"Sister Act? Wait was that from the 80's or was that TV show? There were nuns somewhere." - akiyasan

"I'm pretty sure the correct answer is Ghost. After all, that pottery scene? Hilarious." - umbralcorax

"Howard the Duck" - wiredwizard

(That was more of a tragedy. -CV)

"Hollywood Ghost Squares, where every single person in the boxes was dead, except for Whoopi, who just suffered from a dying career." - frequencyshift

"Jumping Jack Flash, right up there with the commerical success of Hudson Hawk." - mcclintock

(I always felt that Hudson Hawk deserved more love. -CV)

Correct Answer: Jumpin' Jack Flash



2. What actor played "Ol' Lonely", the unneeded Maytag repairman, in commercials from 1988 to 2003?

"We don't get american commercials in little ol' Belgium" - b_hulsmans

(Which is for the better. Our commercials are boring, except for once a year when they actually try. -CV)

"Jesse White. By the way, did you know that 'Jesse' is the Scottish term for girly men?" - holmes221b

(That sure puts the Dukes of Hazzard's Uncle Jesse in a whole new light... -CV)

"Bruce Campbell turned the gig down due to the lack of explosions & zombies." - wiredwizard

"Jason Alexander" - seferin

"Don Knotts. Or Rickles. I always get them confused." - silk_knickers

"I know Adam Savage starred as a young tyke in the Charmin commercials. I don't understand why you couldn't squeeze the Charmin. It's not like it would squeak back at you." - akiyasan

"Same dude as before. He regenerates like a Time Lord, doomed to spend forever not fixing things." - mattwolf

(Guess those sonic screwdrivers really do fix things up right! -CV)

"I'll tell you what wasn't lonely: his right hand! Amirite?" - squeegibo

"Did you know that Maytag washers and dryers now have 'vibration control'? This can mean only one thing: they finally figured out what everyone else knows, and added a variable speed controller for proper vibes. Now you can really feel good about doing your laundry!" - etumukutenyak

"The irony being that a fireball once actually came out of my Maytag microwave. True facts! I mean, the fact that we put jawbreakers, newspaper and ball bearings in there probably helped, but I still blame Maytag." - lisacharly

"Now somehow in my mind I've managed to combine the Maytag commercials with Lassie. 'What's that, Ol' Lonely? Timmy's shorts need to be cleaned before supper? Quick! Off to the rescue!'" - frequencyshift

"Truth...it's quite possible I'm related to Gordon Jump." - n5iln

(Did your mother have carnal relations with a washing machine? -CV)

"I always think of WKRP in Cincinnati when I think of that guy. And I've just now realized those call letters could be pronounced CRAP. How appropriate!" - athousandsmiles

"WKRP in Cincinnati's General Manager. Radio's a bitch of a business, so it's always good to have a fallback job." - mcclintock

Correct Answer: Alexander Gordon Jump



3. The larvae of the moth Cydia deshaisiana are responsible for the creation of which objects?

"'creation of which objects' makes it sound like they are trapped in a sweat shop making nikes for little spoilt rich spider kids..." - b_hulsmans

(Hey, those spiders need EIGHT SHOES A POP. That sweat shop better get crackin'. -CV)

"Pyramids" - wiredwizard

"Vegans would object, I don't think anyone else cares" - seferin

(It's true. Nobody else cares about vegans. -CV)

"As forever immortalized in that Groucho Marx song, 'Cydia the Tattooed Ladybug'." - kristinmachina

"Why do I now have 'La Cucaracha' playing in my head?" - cholma

"...on a STEEK!" - n5iln

(+1, Jeff Dunham. -CV)

"Every hallucination attributed to eating the worm in a tequila bottle" - etcet

"The Singing Bush" - alfvaen

"If it's those damn tents in my trees, I hate them. Those things are gross." - squeegibo

"Something gross and sticky (that's not sexual)" - ionicaq

(So, nothing likethis, courtesy of cold_clarity... -CV)

"Really big cocoons" - thepikey

"Y'know, I'm currently rereading Silence of the Lambs, which has taught me that if I ever want to kill women for their skins so I can create a woman suit, don't shove a moth down the victims throat. You'll get caught." - frequencyshift

"Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick:" - germankitty

"Jumping beans, or jumping ropes, but I don't see moths using either of these objects, although it would make quite a cute work-out video!" - demon_666

"In elementary school, a teacher brought them in for class and we got to play with them until another student tried to eat one." - domestik_fucker

Correct Answer: Mexican Jumping Beans

"(you racist)" - marasca

("Latin American Jumping Beans" just doesn't have the same flair to it... -CV)



4. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the band:
Well can't you see me standing here,
I've got my back against the record machine
I ain't the worst that you've seen.
Oh can't you see what I mean?

(Yes, somehow I copied in the wrong lyrics the first time. That's why I usually do the quiz on Tuesdays; Thursdays mess with my brain something fierce. Strangely, the funnier answers dealt with the wrong lyrics. -CV)

"It says soccer, so it has to have vuvuzelas. OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!" - thepikey

"David Beckham, in his very (VERY) short-lived career as a singer." - etumukutenyak

"'Hopped Up Soccer Mom' by Van Helsing" - majorsamfan

"As long as he's not singing it to someone standing on a ledge." - n5iln

"'Drink Some More (I Ain't Cute Enough Yet)' by Lindsay Lohan." - jmthane

"I'm waiting for the young'uns to ask what a record machine is. Also, GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU HOOLIGANS!" - athousandsmiles, germankitty

"Ba Ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba bum. Excuse me, I now need to prefect my Van Halen hair. I just hope the store has enough mousse." - killabee886

(There hasn't been enough mousse since the 80's used it all up. -CV)

"Eddie on the keyboards must have been like Babe Ruth with a golf club. Sure, he hit it out of the park but...whut?" - kristinmachina

"Well, it definitely was Van Halen because it was David Lee Roth singing and David Lee Roth by himself sucks, and Van Halen without David Lee Roth sucks, and I actually like that song. I also remember a video with some guy on a ledge and people yelling 'Jump' with the chorus at him. Which I don't think was the official video? I don't know. I didn't have MTV. I was deprived!" - cjtremlett

"you know what's awful? it took a combination of my exposure to Glee and my guessing of the overall quiz theme to realize that the song is 'Jump'. moral: when Glee is your main source of musical knowledge, you may as well give up on life." - cold_clarity

"'Jump' by the Pointer Sisters" - drbear

Correct Answer: Van Halen, "Jump"



5. Johnny Depp played one of the lead characters in which 80's TV series?

(What, us use a topic again? Inconceivable! -CV)

"Johnny Deep was on TV?? Since when?" - sticky9fingers, jmthane

(Since before you were born, young ones. -CV)

"The A-Team" - wiredwizard

(Depp was the van. -CV)

"Saved By The Bell" - lots42

"Star Trek: Depp Space Nine" - i_calql8

(You don't want to know about the wormhole. -CV)

"Tammy Faye Bakker on The PTL Club. Wore almost as much eye makeup there as he did in 'Pirates of the Carribean.'" - drbear

"Who's eating Gilbert Grape this week? (It was a wine show)" - seferin

"Is that the one with the pedophile police squad?" - seekingferret

"Nightmare On Jump Street" - alfvaen

"Some numbers Jump Street. 21? 42? 69?" - mcclintock

(69 Hump Street is the logical porn title transformation for this show. -CV)

"My God, that man has not aged one bit. How is he 47 years old? Must I trash hotel rooms and beat up paparazzi to look that good at that age? Because I'm totally willing." - athousandsmiles

"That's only because he couldn't persuade them to let him play all the characters in 21 Jump Street. Someday, Tim Burton will make a movie starring Johnny Depp, Johnny Depp and Johnny Depp. And it will just be him with the camera and Johnny in a bunch of different costumes and it will be utterly mad and fun and only appreciated by those of us who have loved the Depp/Burton combination since Edward Scissorhands." - cjtremlett

"Sometime in the mid-90's I started recording 21 Jump Street reruns because Peter DeLuise was on it, not knowing that Johnny Depp was on it. When I discovered this I dragged one of my friends over to show her the tape and when I was said 'look Johnny Depp!' and hit the pause button, I was instead pointing to a large black man. She has not forgotten that to this day, and it spawned a lot of 'oh look, Johnny Depp' sarcastic moments over the years." - ionicaq

"Oh 21 Jump Street. The role he wishes everyone would forget. Oh sure, he'll dress us in an orange wig, white eyelashes or have siccors for hands. But a normal person is where he draws the line." - killabee886

"What ever happened to Richard Greeko? Back in the day, I thought he was the cuter one (not that I'd throw either out of bed)." - marasca

Correct Answer: 21 Jump Street



6. What gets you hopping mad?

"When I get burned by a dealer selling me frogs which really have NO PSYCHADELIC EFFECT AT ALL. Oh, wait, it's starting to kick in. sjdfasoihtasoahdlfjafgha;fgajnkfcx,m" - thepikey

"The I, Robot movie. Fucking Will Smith." - seekingferret

"Those jerks in Pod Six" - kristinmachina

"Getting blamed for someone else's mistake when I'm not willingly taking on said blame." - sticky9fingers

"Justin Bieber, he has the bacon-y stench of Canada all over him and this invasion must stop." - killabee886

"When people make a right turn into the left-hand lane. Especially when I'm trying to make a left turn into that same lane." - alfvaen

"People who stand on escalators instead of walking. I mean, a lot of things make me angry, like child abuse and racism, but nothing quite makes me vein-poppingly, nostril-flaringly, fist-clenchingly, jaw-breakingly PISSED THE HELL OFF like people standing on escalators. Also, people with no sense of priorities really tick me off." - lisacharly

(True story, from four days ago: I'm coming down an escalator, and there's a homeless woman padded with clothes and carrying some bags taking up the whole escalator. No one else is on the escalator at all. I say "Excuse me." She says "There ain't room for that shit!" I pause, and try "Excuse me" again, because maybe I just startled her. Nope, "there ain't room for that shit!" I am suitably surprised, and she was clearly not budging. So I said "Excuse me" one more time, and as she turned to retort, giving me a little room to maneuver, I plowed through the side. She actually tried to stop me. Hmph. -CV)

"the sad continued lack of gin and pudding freely dispensed on street corners." - etumukutenyak

"Stupid people who insist on being stupid. Unless they make me laugh." - holmes221b

"When Frogger keeps getting run over by trucks. He's just trying to cross the street, people! Give him a break!" - cholma

(Frogger should use the pedestrian crossing zone. It's his own damn fault. -CV)

"Faulty trampolines" - marasca

(I hate when I only get the tramp part. Oh no, wait, that's good. -CV)

"Jumping Jesus on a pogo-stick!" - feste

(That jumping JC gets around... -CV)

"I think I hate society in general. It all went downhill after corporal punishment was banned. Not that I advocate that sort of thing, but some people really need a whack around the ears." - demon_666



And that's the way it is. This year is not a leap year, but next year will be, so we're warming up with a jumping theme. It's jumptastic. Not humptastic, which is different. Or rumptastic, which could be like humptastic, but maybe not quite lumptastic. If you don't like this joke, maybe you're chumptastic. Ok, it is a lame joke. Dumptastic, even.

Happy end of February, and welcome March, which comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. We would make lion and lamb themed quizzes, but we succeeded so hard at failing at that last year, so no.

Rock on!

AL&CV&LL

Comments

[ionicaq.livejournal.com]

OK, so I only answered the quiz to tell the 21 Jump Street story (because really, how often do you get to tell something like that) and I got a second quote as well! w00t! :D

Also, I do agree that Hudson Hawk deserves more love. Goofy film, and lots of fun to watch.

[germankitty]

Hmm, my answer to #3 somehow ended up quoted for question #4. (Not that I'm complaining, mind -- quotage is quotage!)

Oh, and athousandsmiles? *high-fives*

[i-calql8.livejournal.com]

Until Sandra Bernhard appears, then the Suck Factor increases exponentially. Fugly and unfunny--a deadly combination.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

It is a fun silly movie. I think it was too silly for its time; folks weren't ready for that level of uncontrolled goofiness.

"Buddy! Ball-ball!"
"He's GOT the ball-balls!"

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

She is a heinous fiend, true. She's got a more cavernous maw than Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts combined.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm old and senile, but I'm looking at your answers, and that is indeed what you put for #3, and #4 was an age comment, so... I think we're right? ;-)

[i-calql8.livejournal.com]

Pity quotage, but it was a quality pun, so it's okay. Gives the others a chance to shine, doncha know? :)

In other news, spring training has begun! Go Cubs!

In other other news, nice to see some Jeff Dunham +1 love.

In other other other news, bewbs.

[germankitty]

Well ... I'm pretty sure I left a link to a youtube clip of Mexican wrestlers to answer the Jumping Beans question, and the Jumpin' Jesus was supposed to refer to "Ol' Lonely" (because I'd never EVER heard of the things/persons in the ad). The age comment is where it belongs, with "Fun with Lyrics".

Oh well, never mind. :) As I said, quotage is quotage!

ETA: Okay, I messed up the numbers in my comment; I was about to correct 'em, but you were too fast. So -- my answer to #2 ended up at #3!

[n5iln.livejournal.com]

(Did your mother have carnal relations with a washing machine? -CV)

HOLY CRAP!

[holmes221b.livejournal.com]

I can tell that Harry still can't spell "Depp" correctly...

[lisacharly.livejournal.com]

Man I totally want to start a 'look, Johnny Depp!' trend.

Booyah, three! Now I can replace that Makin' Whoopie song with that incomprehensible Britney Spears single in celebration. I'm on a roll.

[many-from-one.livejournal.com]

Y'all wanna hear the Aztec Camera version of "Jump" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bzKzbucdnE). Starts off less rockin' than the original, ends up more rockin', not entirely sure where or how the transition happened.

(Although yes the Paul Anka swing version (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYIJvBmHaQo) is funnier.)

[ionicaq.livejournal.com]

Yanno, somehow I blocked out the memory of her being in that movie...

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Bewbs: Always newsworthy.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

It's ok, we won't judge you for being a top loader, if you know what I mean. And I hope you do, because I have no idea what I mean.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Is it merely a case of indepptitude?

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

The Bangles are still there for you. Even when you're Makin' Whoopie.

LOOK JOHNNY DEPP! HE'S RIGHT THERE!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

For a guy named Aztec Camera, he sure didn't have much itlan. That song needed more itlan. And maybe some live sacrifice and heart ripping.

[ionicaq.livejournal.com]

"I guess we see who wears the penis in this family."

[ejia-arath03.livejournal.com]

Depp was the van.

Obligatory "I'd ride him" comment.

[many-from-one.livejournal.com]

Now I'm just imagining a question about titular itlan and it's just confusing.

[neumeindil.livejournal.com]

Poor Deppth perception?

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a deppilitating condition.

[jmthane.livejournal.com]

Since before you were born, young ones. -CV

Actually, no. 21 Jump Street was not something I watched, so I wouldn't know Depp was in it. I was alive before Star Trek started. Hell, I was alive before Doctor Who started. I'll be eligible for AARP in a year and a half.

21 Jump Street? Not SF, so I didn't watch it.

GIVE ME SF OR GIVE ME DEATH!!!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Titulitlan, the Aztec Goddess of Bosoms, was probably a jaguar or leopard or something, only with a huge rack. Like, six or eight heaving bosoms there. Thanks to her, Aztec filmmakers always focused on the titular roles in their documentaries.

This might be the stupidest comment I've ever made. And that's saying a lot, believe me. ;-)