LJ Daily Answers: 14 February 2011

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Happy Valentine's Day! We love all of you, except those jerks in Pod Six.

1. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the band:
You need my love baby, oh so bad
You're not the only one I've ever had
And you say you wanna set me free
Don't you know you'll be in misery

"'Hey Ma!' by Oedipus and the T-Rexes" - spiralgirl1

"Mall Muzak, by Mall Muzak All The Time on 109.9" - liseuse

"The Truth Serum Was A Good Idea, by the Firstdaters" - mattwolf

"The last time my Seekrit Crush with better musical taste than I allowed me to play my iPhone on Shuffle when she was with me in the car, I wound up having to scramble to pass by 'Let's Do It', 'All Day Long I Dream About Sex', and 'Can't Fight This Feeling' in quick succession. Thanks, but I'm gonna pass this one by, for fear my music library picks it up and tries to pass it on like an auditory STD of shame." - reticent_lass

(Come on now. Is there ever a wrong time for some REO Speedwagon? -CV)

"These lines are taken from the abusive boyfriend's handbook. Does someone die at the end of the song?" - killabee886

"Kiss My Beatles Guns N Jovi - This Song Is About Sex; Are You In The Mood Yet?" - drunken_hedghog

"I'm guessing it's a KISS song. I say, 'Fat Bottomed Girls.'" - kristinmachina

(Freddie Mercury is rolling in Gene Simmons' grave right now. -CV)

"No, 'misery' is being fourteen years old and dating an older guy with a Gene Simmons tongue and no sense of what jokes are appropriate to make to your girlfriend's mother. Get it right, Gene." - lisacharly

"My fiance is a fan of the band as long as they're in makeup. (Seriously - he returned the third Kissology volume because they were au naturel. Is Gene Simmons that ugly?)" - elbiesee

"The Starman, the Demon, the Spaceman, the Cat...it's a New Avengers casting call!" - n5iln

Correct Answer: KISS, "Calling Dr. Love"



2. Samuel L. Jackson and Geena Davis star in which 1996 action film?

(As with any question involving Mr. Jackson, the word "motherfucking" was used 23194 times. -CV)

"A League of Their Own II--'There's no motherfucking crying in motherfucking baseball!'" - kristinmachina, thepikey, drbear

"Serenity. (Seriously, how friggin' awesome would be if SLJ was in Serenity?)" - wrestlingdog

("I have had it with these motherfucking Reavers on my motherfucking spaceship!" -CV)

"MOTHER FUCKING GHOSTS IN MY MOTHER FUCKING ATTIC" - domestik_fucker

"Stop or My Mom Will Slice Your Throat And Show You Your Own Beating Heart" - lots42

(Many more people have seen this movie than I expected. -CV)

"I liked this movie in high school and thought she was cool and bad-ass. When she broke her daughter's arm I was on her side and thought the girl was a whiny little turd. Now that I'm not a teenager any more and I'm a mum, I'm horrified by my teenage self..." - demon_666

"I'M SICK OF THIS MUTHAFUCKIN' KISS BEING SO MUTHAFUCKIN' LONG. Seriously, what's wrong with a little peck?" - lisacharly

"The Long Muthafuckin' Deep Blue Pulp Kiss Goodnight" - cholma

"M-F'n Long Kiss Goodbye Before You Get On a Plane with Snakes" - majorsamfan

"I've had it with this motherfucking amnesia in these motherfucking spies!" - n5iln

"You made an assumption, and you know what happens when you make an assumption?" - zihuatanejo's hubby

(You make an ass out of you and umption. -CV)

"I woulda been here sooner, but I was busy thinking up that 'ham on rye' line." - barbarienne

(My favorite line is "I'm a CIA agent. I think I can get out of New Jersey." - "Others have tried and failed." -CV)

Correct Answer: The Long Kiss Goodnight



3. What river flows from Osceola County southward into Lake Okeechobee?

"I read that as 'Areola County' so now I'm going to take this opportunity to feel myself up. Thanks, LJDQ!" - lisacharly

"I, wait, what? The question started out using real words, then suddenly, you guys break out the moon speak. Not cool, ljdq. Not cool" - domestik_fucker

"'Okeechobee' is the sound your mom made all last night" - lots42

"Okeechobee doctah Jones!" - mattwolf

(-1, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Truly the failingest of Dr. Jones' escapades. -CV)

"With names that screwy, I'll say it goes under the Tallahassee Bridge" - thepikey

"Ocelot! I know that's not the right answer, but I just like saying 'ocelot'!" - lbmango

"This question sounds awfully familiar....like something off of a Social Studies test in middle school" - sticky9fingers

"I know it's somewhere in those alligator/crocodile places. Keep them there" - akiyasan

"Tam" - kristinmachina, wrestlingdog

(+1, Firefly. -CV)

"The Mrs. Ippi" - spiralgirl1

"Florida place names are almost as much fun as Finnish ones, only with fewer consonants and no umlauts!" - germankitty

"You mean the Caloosahatchee?" - etumukutenyak

"Lake Okeechobee?? Was that named by Fat Albert's Mush Mouth? 'Hey buh-baby, this buh-be the river where you Kissimmee.'" - cholma

"The Houston Astros used to train in Kissimmee, making them the Kissimmee Astros" - drbear

"The Kiss-Mee - excuse me, Xanth fan - Kissimmee River" - elbiesee, alfvaen

(That flows into Lake Ogrechobee, I think. -CV)

"Kissimmee River. You just have to love those Amerindians and their love of strange letter combinations" - holmes221b

Correct Answer: Kissimmee River



4. Who served as United States Secretary of State to both President Nixon and President Ford?

"Not gonna lie- if it has nothing to do with Kennedy getting shot and Watergate, I know nothing about presidents in the 60's." - domestik_fucker

(How about the 70's, like the aforementioned gentlemen? -CV)

"What I know of Nixon I know from Futurama. As far as I know, he is a power hungry, big-chinned Dictator-head. With a dysfunctional robot body." - demon_666 and 5 others

"Beeblebrox" - akiyasan

(+1, HHGTTG. -CV)

"The hero of Canton, the man they call...Jayne" - i_calql8

(+1, Firefly. -CV)

"Maggie Gyllenhaal" - sskipstress

"Hosni Mubarak" - ntlespino

"Milo Bloom, cub reporter, who was later instrumental in running the ABSCAM investigation" - barbarienne

(+1, Bloom County. -CV)

"I was kind of hoping you were going for National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski instead of Kissinger, but a) he was batting for the other team belonged to the other party, and b) I dare the mods to come up with a theme that kind of name would fit into! *hides from the other quizlings*" - germankitty

(Up next week: Words With Way Too Many Z's And Other Fucked Up Consonants. -CV)

"Did you know that at one point during the Labour Government, there were serving cabinet members named Alistair Darling and Stephen Ladyman? If only Ed Balls had been in there, we'd have had the whole set." - drunken_hedghog

"Like the Vulcans said, 'Only Nixon could go to China.' This guy was obviously the one who scored the Romulan Ale." - etcet

(+1, Star Trek VI. -CV)

"Doctor Henry Killinger" - blindgeoff, mandydax

"wow, my spellcheck knows how to spell 'Kissinger'" - lbmango

"Henry Kissinger, how I'm missing ya, you're so chubby and so neat/With your funny clothes, and your squishy nose, you're like a German parakeet" - zihuatanejo's hubby, alfvaen, drbear

(+1, Monty Python. -CV)

Correct Answer: Henry Kissinger

"He should have gone into making love songs after he was done with the government" - holmes221b



5. In the Dark Horse comic book series "The Mask", who is the first character to use the mask?

"The Phantom of the Opera" - seferin, drbear
"V" - wrestlingdog

"Didn't he try it out first on the shapely, but homely neighbor lady next door. Originally they were gonna call the comic book series 'The Two-Bagger'" - dhud98

"Wong Ping Tao, to avoid Bird SARS" - mandydax

"Loki. Don't screw with me, I'm technically correct. The best kind of correct." - lots42

"Deadpool. Nobody could tell the difference, which is the only reason he gave it up--disappointment" - reticent_lass

"I recall Cameron Diaz being really cute in that movie" - cholma

(Probably only because she didn't smile or open that CREEPY GARGANTUAN MAW of hers. -CV)

"Normally, I'd say 'I'll take funny Jim Carrey movies for $1,000, Alex', but that topic wouldn't fill an entire Jeopardy category." - i_calql8

(+1, so very true. -CV)

"Some mean, abusive guy. I think I only read the first few pages of the first volume before I went, 'Fuck that guy. He's a douche'" - domestik_fucker

(Full credit. -CV)

"Casting Jim Carrey must have cut the SFX budget by 75%. I mean, have you seen his face?" - kristinmachina

Correct Answer: Stanley Ipkiss



6. Any plans for Valentine's Day?

"A date. Maybe an apple or a banana" - seferin

"Budgeting for half-priced candy the day after." - elbiesee

(V-Day, Easter, and Halloween: My three favorite day-after holidays. -CV)

"Pitch woo, get shot down, drink." - zihuatanejo's hubby
"Be irritated by woo, taunt woo-pitcher, drink" - zihuatanejo

"Big plans. I hope her plans are the same." - dhud98

"Looking for work, you insensitive clod!" - n5iln

"mainlining Vodka and Creme Eggs" - drunken_hedghog

"Pining. I've got that down to an art. A sad, pathetic art that hides in corners and peeks furtively over a textbook" - reticent_lass

(As long as you're not pining for the fjords, it's ok. -CV)

"Nah. If she doesn't get that she's my moon and stars after 20 years of marriage, then there's not much point in trying any further." - mattwolf

"probably a home cooked meal, but The Onion is reporting about a stoning of a disgustingly happy couple so we might swing by for that." - killabee886

"Make sure holmes221b doesn't break anything (or anyone) during her Valentine's Day candy sugar high." - sticky9fingers

"Work 8-4. Meet up with my parents to 'celebrate' my mother's birthday by listening to what a mistake I've made by being single at 29 years old and living in New York instead of Back Home where a Single woman belongs... Which reminds me, I need to buy more batteries for my vibrator..." - neumeindil

"I'm having my tonsils removed. This means I will never again play 'tonsil hockey' except in the most literal sense." - barbarienne

(You'll know there's a problem if your surgeon suddenly says "Hat trick!" -CV)



And there you have it. It's the day of love and romance and stuff, according to Hallmark. So go out and buy some heart-shaped chocolates and enjoy. Unless you're diabetic or chocollergic, in which case, don't do that. Rent some schmaltzy movie and mock the romantic woes of cinematic couples as they jump through hoops to stretch a pointless film up to 90 minutes or more. Wheee! Romcoms are silly!

We'll be back again tomorrow to return to our usual hateful ways. Love is, after all, not a one-day event, but a year-round cycle, and we're here to provide the yang to love's yin. Or something like that. I don't get to say Yin-Yang very often here, you know.

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL