LJ Daily Answers: 7 February 2011

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

What, a spider theme? After all the spiderpics and spidertales we've been having? Who'd have guessed?

Subtlety: We has none.



1. What was the first book featuring the character of Alex Cross?

"Am I going to be set upon by rabid fans if I claim that is probably the most bland gender-neutral-insert-every-anglo-saxon-person name ever? They're probably a detective or something." - vayshti

(Well, you got the detective part right... -CV)

"The Bible. 'Hi, I'm Alex, and I'll be your crucifix today.'" - kenshardik

"Somebody asked me last week, if Jesus had been hanged, would Christians wear a noose around their necks?" - love2loveher

(Isn't that really what necklaces are anyway? Just fragile garottes, waiting to claim our life force. -CV)

"Must be The Bible. Blessed are the Greeks and all that. What's it to you, big nose?!" - angeweeks

(+1, Monty Python's Life of Brian. -CV)

"No idea, but was it written by Spider Robinson?" - germankitty

(Nah, we used him in our previous spider-themed quiz. -CV)

"Read This Book or I'll Kill Off Alex Cross" - jamoche

"The white pages, right before Cross, Andrew but after Cross, Adrian" - b_hulsmans

"Cross to Bear. The bear won. No sequels." - mandydax

"Oh, back in the day I had a crush on Alex Cross! Until he had that baby with that lady and was all heroic to save her from evil clutches even though all hope was lost. That sort of undying love is SOOOO unsexy when its not directed at you." - demon_666

"Other names James Patterson considered for his popular detective: James Angry, Michael Enraged, Joseph Irked, Billy Furious." - seekingferret

(The Russian version, Igor Pistov, didn't fare much better. -CV)

"Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffett, eating her curds and whey; along came a spider, who sat down beside her and said, 'WHAT'S IN THE BOWL, BITCH?'" - etcet, cholma

(+1, Andrew Dice Clay. -CV)

"Along Came a Spyder, in which the bad guy cruises the streets of DC in a brand new Porsche 918" - etumukutenyak

(Two for the price of one! -CV)

Correct Answer: Along Came A Spider

"It's on my list of books to read once I get around to paying the $6.50 I owe the local public library in overdue fees." - holmes221b



2. Macrocheira kaempferi has the largest leg span of all arthropods; what is its common name?

"Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure" - seferin

"Dikembe Mutombo" - love2loveher

(He does not look quite as delicious as the correct answer. -CV)

"Leni Lamaison" - barbarienne

(Alas, we also used this one in our previous spider quiz. Recycling themes is srs bizness. -CV)

"Jesse Owens." - angeweeks

(And now for my next impression... -CV)

"Daddy Longlegs" - 8 of you
"The ones who are still single perfer to be known as the who'syourdaddy longlegs." - mattwolf

"That makes me think of an exchange between Rich Hall and Stephen Fry. Rich Hall kept asking if centipedes had claws, and Stephen kept answering 'no', then Rich asked, 'So, does that mean there is no such thing as Centi-Claws?'. Brilliant." - domestik_fucker

"Dale a tu cuerpo kaempferi, Macrocheira
Heeeey Macrocheira!" - vayshti

"WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?" - many_from_one

"SPI-DER (he is our hero!) SPI-DER (step on spider!) SPI-DER..." - etcet

(This was almost the "fun with lyrics" question. +1, TMBG. -CV)

"MOAR ISOPODS. ZUUL DEMANDS IT." - ntlespino

"Honey, I'm going to try to kill it with my shoe, if that fails I want you to take the kids and run, don't ask questions, don't check on me, and don't turn back. I love you." - killabee886

(You're going to need a helluva shoe. -CV)

"How do they build their webs under water?" - tweeti

(It's complicated, and the Navy hates it when one of their subs gets all stuck up in some underwater spider web. -CV)

"Oh geez, this just brought forward some very very bad porn images. I am now thinking of a spider crab sitting on a chair spreading its legs. Which takes me to Natalie Portman in 'Closer', which wasn't really bad or porn when you think about it." - demon_666

"Alaska King Crab. Don't you dare try to tell me those things aren't bugs." - schizospider

(Crabs are indeed bugs. Delicious tasty bugs. And you're half-right. -CV)

"When served steamed with a side of drawn butter and a generous portion of beer, I call it supper." - sskipstress

Correct Answer: Japanese Spider Crab



3. William Shatner played the lead role (but not the titular role) in which 1977 low budget horror film?

"Things I don't need to see: Shatner's titulars" - lisacharly

"i_calql8 should have counted the # of times y'all used the word titular." - tweeti

"Is it considered Google-cheating to ask Bill this via Twitter? Because the temptation to give him flashbacks by doing so is REALLY tempting." - etcet

(I guess that's not technically cheating, if he answers. -CV)

"It's ... inside ... the ... house." - drbear

"Shit My Starfleet Captain Says" - kristinmachina

"They're Evil Dead, Jim" - alfvaen

"A Shat in the Dark, co-starring Peter Sellers" - i_calql8

"Aren't all films from the 1970's low-budget?" - sticky9fingers

(You're one of those 'young people' I've heard about. People who never saw the original "Star Wars" in theaters. I've got my eye on you now. -CV)

"Did he sing? If not, it wasn't really horror." - jamoche

"As much as I hate and detest spiders, nothing can top the horror that was the full-frontal nude scene Shatner had in 'Big Bad Mama'. Even after 30 years I am still scrubbing my brain with bleach at the memory!" - germankitty

"INCUBUS! In which he parolis exclusively Esperanton. This is why I own a copy of the film; no regrets." - many_from_one, mandydax
"It has to piss off Zamenhof that more people speak Klingon than Esperanto. Talk about bedeviling." - seekingferret

"Twilight Zone: The Movie" - akiyasan
"THESE MOTHERFUCKING GREMLINS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE" - domestik_fucker

(Alas, no; that was "Twilight Zone: The Episode". -CV)

"Moby Dick: The Musical, wherein he delivered a spoken-word rendition of whalesong. Lyrics: 'Whoo. Whoo. Squeak-squeal...whoooooo.'" - barbarienne

"" - sskipstress

"this picture looks like he has a flaming Johnson for those spiders" - majorsamfan

"Kingdom of the Spiders! Slightly less enjoyable than White Commanche in which Shatner plays twin Indians brothers; definitely less enjoyable than Impulse in which Shatner is a womanizing killer obsessed with his mother, his pinkie, and leisure suits." - avenginglyyours

"'The Kingdom of the Spiders'. I wonder if it's anything like 'Snakes on a Plane'" - holmes221b

(If Mr. Shatner had stated, "Enough is... enough! I... have had it... with these... motherfucking spiders in... this motherfucking town," I would have that scene on perpetual replay on every computer I own. Forever. -CV)

Correct Answer: Kingdom of the Spiders



4. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the band:
We've got to die, we've got to live
We got to take what we can get
We sell ourselves for petty change
And when we die we rearrange

"There isn't enough Morrissey in LJDQ. I vote this as a lyric almost gloomy enough to be one of his." - vayshti

"If you're selling organs, you really should get more than 'petty change'. Go find someone a bit more desperate. But not too desperate, that's when you end up in a cliché tub." - natt_barn

"Zombie Hookers, by Alice Cooper" - jmthane, lots42

"Lovely Ladies- Les Miz" - wrestlingdog

"'Ch-ch-ch-changes', Morris Minor & The Majors" - alfvaen

"The Facts of Life theme song, sung by, let's say Sting." - squeegibo

"Suddenly I am glad Tom Waits named his character Small Change instead of Petty Change" - seekingferret

"I'd like to think my rate would be much higher than petty change, like 20 bucks and a cheeseburger type of rates." - killabee886, tweeti

"It has to be the Beatles, right? Chances are Paul wrote it, John hated it, George wept on his guitar and Ringo was not allowed in the room." - kristinmachina

"I want everyone to know that the only reason I know this is because I had a teacher whose last name was 'Weezer', and we somehow ended up listening to a lot of Weezer songs in her class." - holmes221b

Correct Answer: Weezer, "The Spider"



5. Porsche's model 550 and upcoming model 918 bear what name?

"I didn't realize you could name a bear VROOOOOM OH MY GOD IT'S SO SHINY." - lisacharly

(6 others made a bear joke. Nyuk nyuk I see what you think I did there. -CV)

"Cop-bait" - jmthane

"The Batmobile" - germankitty

"Driverhasahugepenis" - 7 of you

"Hornet (Green preferably)" - wiredwizard

"I'll take 'Cars I'll Never Afford' for $1000, Alex." - kristinmachina

"KITT" - many_from_one

"Oh, look! A Spyder! How rare these are! Be careful, their styng is poysonous..." - etumukutenyak

"Cars being called 'Spider' is scarily accurate if you've seen how fast Australian Huntsman Spiders move..." - demon_666

Correct Answer: "Spyder"



6. Sure it's a recycled theme, but we just couldn't resist this time. Tell us a story about you and bugs, for better or for worse. Or share pictures. Or just go wild. Your choice!

"I'll just go wild. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeesdnjfsdqjf ksqjdfklzeuif sdfvgjerot ezr,zef,efiygt. There, gone wild, sane again." - b_hulsmans

"I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a DVR with a cat on its back:
" - drbear

"Dragonflies used to scare the bejesus out of me. I don't care if my parents told me they didn't have stingers... because I KNEW BETTER. Big, loud, creepy looking bastids." - kenshardik

"I saw The Green Hornet last week & thought it was a hoot, does that count?" - wiredwizard

"They have come across the body of a tramp, which in itself is not so disturbing. Until it is turned over to reveal... ANTS! ANTS! ANTS!" - squeegibo

(Ants in Pants of Tramps? -CV)

"one day I was having CPR training in a big garden near a military base. I was moving my partner to a safety position when I noticed a spider had climbed on her shoulder, so I told her not to move, that I'd take it off. She jumped up, started slapping her arms and back, yelling: 'TAKE IT OFF TAKE IT OFF' Then she thought she saw the spider on the ground and started hitting it with the mannequin we were using for CPR training." - avenginglyyours

"All I can remember is being about 6 or 7 and waking up one night to see a teeny-tiny spider on my bedroom wall. Rather than shout downstairs for my Dad to come and rescue me, I went to all the trouble of finding a pencil and piece of paper and writing him a note telling him there was a spider and asking him if he could please come and get it. Then I went downstairs and posted it under the lounge room door, and went back to bed. Still not sure why. In the time it took me to do that, I could have served the spider with an eviction notice, helped him pack his bags, and called him a taxi." - angeweeks

"Snacking on some uncooked egg noodles that had been open for a while, when I noticed that there were small things that were not egg-noodle-colored in the bag. They looked kind of like brown rice. They were, in fact, baby cockroaches. I have no idea how many of them I'd eaten over the previous hour, idly noshing on them while reading a book.
(In case anyone is morbidly curious, an adult cockroach is about 50 calories and contains 9 grams of protein; which is to say, it's the same number of calories, but arguably healthier to consume, than an Oreo cookie.)" - etcet

(The word "arguably" is extremely key there. -CV)

"Well, when my son was in kindergarten, he ate an earthworn during recess. The panicked teachers called poison control. True story! We got the report form when he came home." - etumukutenyak

("Arguably" better than eating a cockroach. -CV)

"Did I mention it was A SPIDER?" - barbarienne

"You know those centipedes with the real long legs? Those are the only bugs I'm really scared of." - primavera

"Sweetums won't let me keep one of those glow-in-the-dark scorpions, but I think that would be awesome" - zihuatanejo

"Madagascar hissing cockroaches. As pets. Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot, over..." - n5iln

"I used to like riding over tent caterpillars on my bike, especially the one summer where we were plagued with them. I couldn't bare to actually touch them myself, though, that was too gross." - alfvaen

"I was roughing it in the DR, and I got bit by a tarantula. At least we think so. My ankle was softball sized and black, thus starting my loathing of the species." - raphsody606

"Did you know that I am a semi-professional lepidopterist? I don't think that you did! I've worked in a butterfly house for almost ten years. Cool story, me." - wrestlingdog

(Trufax: I love butterfly houses. I visited one near Niagara Falls once, and a huge-ass butterfly landed right on my nose. About a dozen people have pictures of this random guy with this enormous butterfly on his schnoz, obscuring a third of his face with its wingspan. None of these people are me. I was sad, because I know it must have been a hilarious picture. -CV)

"As the Year of the Hare started 4 days ago, see Bunny's opinion on this week's theme:
" - germankitty

Correct Answer: Even CV is not immune to the horrors of the arthropod menace.



And there you have it. With this, our second ever spiderquiz, we prey upon the base fears of our quizling population and savor their horror as if it were sweet candy. To paraphrase "Animal Farm", 'six legs bad, eight legs worser'. And oh, the worsening!

Anyway, tomorrow's theme will probably be much nicer, just because.

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL