LJ Daily Answers: 8 March 2010

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

1. What is the name of the only NFL team to lose 16 games in one season?

"I almost typed 'loins', but I figure the first question shouldn't turn it into That Kind of Quiz." - kittycatness

(Young lady, it's always That Kind of Quiz. -CV)

"You know they'll win the 17th and that somehow makes them state champs and it's all heartwarming and stuff." - woap

(And that's the problem with all sports movies ever made: you KNOW they're going to win the big one. -CV)

"Since when is losing 16 games in a season is bad?" - sushimustwrite

(Since seasons started having 15 games total. -CV)

"still better than actually hiring Michael Vick." - drunken_hedghog

"The Cougars. But then, the entire roster was made up of women in their mid-to-late 30s." - i_calql8

(I sure hope they didn't take those games lion down... -CV)

"The Replacements" - ntlespino

"Green Bay Packers? They eat a lot of cheese, which is kinda fatty, so that would make them slower right? And lose a lot of games?" - sticky9fingers

"I'd be shocked if the Buffalo Bills hadn't managed that one yet. Oh, for the glory days of Jim Kelly et al..." - distaff_exile

"Da Bears! *takes a big swig of beer*" - sharnjilraedan

"I want to say the Eagles, because they are the team of disappointment. They don't fit the team, but screw it; I'm saying Eagles anyway." - stgreyhounds

"Sounds like a stunt the Chicago Cubs would pull off in a game they don't even play." - thefannishwaldo, many_from_one

"Growing up in the Detroit area taught me that neither Lions nor Tigers are good at sports." - cholma

"Maybe next year the Lions willdo better than the auto industry..." - blindgeoff

(I don't think they qualify for a government bailout yet, but they might be close. -CV)

Correct Answer: The Detroit Lions

"Nobody in the city was surprised, you know - we'd been expecting it for a decade." - darthparadox



2. For the first of his Twelve Labors, what beast did Hercules have to kill and skin?

"I can kill and skin a potato!" - primavera

"The T-Rex, so people think Dinosaurs died a long tome ago" - seferin

"He had to put the Detroit Lions out of their misery" - cholma

"Scar" - 8 of you, who get half-credit for pointing out that Hercules was wearing Scar's pelt in Disney's "Hercules" movie. However, you all get -2 because "Hercules" SUCKED SO BAD. -CV)

"Twelve labors -> labor -> pregnancy -> birthday -> birth month -> birth stone -> astrology -> Pisces... Clearly it was a fish!" - acm28

"Doesn't killing a lion AND skinning a lion count as two Labors?" - iamraffiki

"On the first day of labors Hercules had to slay... A partridge in a pear tree!" - squeegibo

"The fatted calf... the golden lamb... the golden calf... Mooby!" - marasca

"The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal" - packbat, many_from_one

"His mother-in-law" - 8 others

"Why is it Hercules and not Himcules?" - angelprojekt

(Considering his behavior throughout 90% of his stories, the real question is why is it not Jerkules? -CV)

"Only in greece can you get a demi-god to make a fur coat for you." - b_hulsmans

(Actually, he made it for himself. Looked pretty snazzy too. -CV)

"" - cmzero

"At that point it was only only Ten Labors. He got an extra two for having help with the Hydra and getting clever with the stables. Whatever you might say about the Greek gods, you can't deny their dickery. " - hylarn

"The Knee-Me-In-The Loin" - blumsha

(Its signature attack was quite devastating. -CV)

"Skinning the lion was the easy part. But then he had to skin the scorpion, the fish, the bull, the ram... And how the hell does one even skin scales? And I don't want to know what 'skin the virgin' means." - slave_to_anime

Correct Answer: The Nemean Lion
More Correct Answer: "Λέων της Νεμέας." - drunken_hedghog

"Hercules' next labour was fending off the animal rights protesters." - lins_arosa



3. What popular Broadway musical features the songs "Chow Down", "I Just Can't Wait to Be King", and "They Live in You"?

"Henry VIII: The Musical" - 12 of you
"Sweeney Todd" - 8 of you

"They Live in You: the world's most cheerful song about tapeworms" - marasca and a dozen other parasitologists

"With titles like that, it ought to be 'Alien'." - jmthane, jhirat_dai, mandydax

(Except that they can't wait to be Queen. Aliens love them some big hot queenie action. -CV)

"Little Shop of Horrors" - sharnjilraedan, drbunsen

"Shoggoth on the Roof" - deza

(If I were an Old One, la da dee da dee da ia ia ia cthulhu fthagn! -CV)

"I think I saw a porno like that once." - secret_weapon

"Stomach Flu: The Musical!" - kchasm

"Hamlet for Furries" - zihuatanejo, many_from_one

(+1, surprising accuracy. -CV)

"The Lion King. Which is awesome, because they use ROLLERSKATES inside the costumes! ROLLERSKATES? Do you understand the awesome that exists on that stage?" - lizwinlove

(Xanadu. The prosecution rests. -CV)

"The original score was too realistic and songs such as 'I Just Can't Wait to be Another Forgotten Child Star' and 'Just Not Feelin' the Love tonight' were reworked for the final edit." - faery_wing

"Once, my friends and I decided we wanted to practice Spanish, so we were going to watch the Lion King in Spanish, but the DVD was only in English and French, so we watched it in French with Spanish subtitles with her roommate that only speaks Chinese. We sang along in English. It was epic. (And we are dorks who watch Disney movies on Friday nights instead of drinking, but hey, we didn't puke the next morning!)" - acm28

"The Lion King! Little-known fact: Rafiki is totally a female baboon. And kind of secretly awesome." - kittycatness

"The Lion King and I, with Chow-Yun-Fat as Kimba Simba and Julie Andrews as Anna..." - blindgeoff

"I never did and never will understand why Timon hung about with Pumba. Warthogs eat small mammals! Hakuna Matata my arse, if the hungry times come, Timon is supper!" - drunken_hedghog

"I used to cheer up my office manager (back when I had a Real Job, instead of working on a Masters degree) by singing "Hakuna Matata" at work. I even answered the phone as 'Hakuna Matata, $mywork! This is mathnerd' one morning because I was so into my routine." - mathnerd

Correct Answer: "The Lion King"

"Do you ever wonder about the Disney movies that haven't been turned into Broadway musicals? Tron, for example." - newbia

("The Black Hole" was also a Disney movie. -CV)



4. Who wields the Sword of Omens?

"THUNDERCATS HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" – everybody

"Damien" - everybody else

"Sir Terry Pratchett." - theninth, darthparadox

(He has to trade off half the year with Baron Neil Gaiman – LL)

"Teresias the blind prophet. It's also how he became blind; was playing too much with his sword." - sharnjilraedan

"King Peter the Magnificent, High King of Narnia, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion, Sir Peter Wolf's-Bane. Can you imagine putting that on your resume?" - kittycatness

"Sword of Omen: Binds when picked up, 39 – 74, DamageSpeed 1.90, (29.7 dps), +9 Strength, +4 Stamina, +3 Agility" - jinxedlioness

(I can't tell if I should give you a +1 or a -1 for WoW. We'll call it a draw. -CV)

"Cohen the Barbarian" - usmu

(+1, because that's old school. -CV)

"Look, it says right there. 'Sword of Omens'--Omens' sword. Ta." - kchasm

(Mr. Omens is not in right now, but if you'd like to leave a message... -CV)

"the only sword I was taught had to be pulled out of a stone by a 12-year-old brat." - killabee886

(close… - LL)

"A twelve year old kid in the body of a hyper-muscled cat-man. Like that isn't going to cause horrific psychological problems." - lots42

"Lion Ho, brother of Don" - seferin

"JESUS CHRIST IT'S LIONO! GET IN THE CAR!" - secret_weapon

(+1 'cause that's funny! - LL)

"Lion-O the reason there are so many furries out there today." - iamraffiki

"Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!" - thepikey, battleraven

(BE QUIET!! – LL)

"THERE'S A THUNDERCATS QUESTION! HAPPY TWO-WEEKS-EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!" - kristinmachina

Correct Answer: Lion-O of the Thundercats



5. Who succeeded Henry II as King of England?

"Henry III is the most logical answer." - gamerchick02 and five other logical, but wrong, quizlings
"His motto: dieth even hardereth" - usmu

"Henery the Eighth I am, I am!" - 9 illogical, and equally wrong, quizlings

"The Goddamn Batman. " - frequencyshift

"" - i_calql8

(+1, The Venture Brothers. -CV)

"Prince John the phony king of Eeeeeengland!" - ifeedformula and a lot of other Disney fans

"Richard the Lionhearted, who was actually a lion in Disney's portrayal of the story. I'm still trying to figure out why Prince John hung out with a snake." - houseofknaus

"Richard the Lion-hearted. Because apparently no human cadavers were available for transplant. " - kittycatness

(Yeah, and Richard the Baboon-hearted would not have flown so well. -CV)

"Richard the Lion-Hearted. His successors were John the Elephant-Legged, Edward the Chicken-Livered, and Henry the Horse...I'll leave that alone." - kristinmachina

"Richard the Lionheart, never to be confused with our own Dick the Chickenhawk. " - blindgeoff

"Lionheart succeeded King Henry the second after he found and wielded the Sword of Omens but not before he sang 'I Just Can't Wait to be King', narrowly avoided being skinned alive by Hercules and getting the Detroit to change their team name so he wouldn't have that blemish on his record. And he did it all in a day." - angelicmuse18

(...more or less. -CV)

Correct Answer: Richard the Lionheart

"which begs the question: what did he do with the rest of the lion?" - drunken_hedghog

(You know those lion-skin rugs? Yeah, there's half of him right there. The rest was used up at a bitchin' New Years Eve barbecue-and-kegger. OM NOM NOM. -CV)



6. What is the worst earworm you can think of? Bonus if it's related to this week's theme!

"I had there's a hole in my bucket stuck in my head for six weeks-three months." - severedscythe

"uuuuuuhhhhhh wee-moh-weh uh-wee-moh-weh uh-wee-moh-weh... IIIIIN the jungle... the MIIIIIIIGHTY JUNGLE... the LIIIIIIIION sleeps tonight..." - you know who you all are

"I don't know, but if you make a mixtape of earworms, does that make it a tapeworm?" - florahart

"Eye of the (Lion and) Tiger (and Bears, oh my!)" - iambickilometer

"Ewww. As a scientist when I read 'worst' and 'worm' together in a sentence...well, I immediately thought of human botfly larva, but if you're anywhere close to food, please don't google that." - pookykabuki

(That's right, don't google it. I'll save you the trouble by educating you on the horrors of the insect kingdom. -CV)

"MMMBOP BA DU BA DOP DA DOP DU BA DOP DU DOP BOP BA DU BA DU!!!" - undonebeauty

"♫ HEEEEEY MACARENA! ♫" - freezer818

"'I love you, you love me, we're a happy family.....' ICK! NOW ITS STUCK AGAIN DAMNIT!" - lizwinlove

"Puh puh puh poker face puh puh poker face! No bonus but hasn't Lady GaGa dressed as a lion at some point? If not, wait a while. It's only a matter of time before she does." - secret_weapon

"That bloody Umbrella song by Rihanna. It doubles its annoyance by sounding like it's echoing in your head, too. "umb-er-ella... ella... ella... a... a... a..." *goes off to listen to some death metal to drown it out*" - lins_arosa

"Really should have seen this coming." - gamerchick02, slave_to_anime

"Hey Jude ... don't make it bad ... take a sad song, and make it *not Hey Jude, please.*" - packbat

"A peanut sat on a railroad track, it's heart was all a-flutter. Along came a choo-choo train...Oops, peanut butter! My 6 yr old has been singing that all week. It's stuck now. On permanent loop." - mama_terra

"'Who let the dogs out!' If anything feline related is worse than that, I'll give up my pet cats and get a dog!" - demon_666

"The 1980s had something called 'Neue Deutsche Welle' ('German new wave') which was (among others) was responsible for '99 Red Balloons' and 'Rock Me Amadeus'. But nothing beat the ear-wormery of 'Da Da Da' or 'Ba-ba-bank robbery'!" - germankitty

"That song Elle Driver whistles in Kill Bill Vol. 1. Stuck in my head until it loses all meaning." - primavera

"This is the song that doesn't end.
Yes it goes on and on my friend..." - mistressjennfer, battleraven

"The kind they used in 'Wrath of Khan'. That scene scared the CRAP out of me as a kid." - kristinmachina, akiyasan, umbralcorax, jhirat_dai

("He put... crrreaturres... in our bodies..." -CV)

"As anyone who's ever been to Disneyworld can tell you, the worst earworm ever is the theme from 'It's a Small world.'" - ifeedformula, stgreyhounds, mistressjennfer, nitasee, deza, angelprojekt

"Remember, kids, whatever the earworm, humming The Bangles will remove it. But (say it with me) nothing will remove The Bangles." - many_from_one

Correct Answer: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", of course
Even Better Answer: Did nobody think of this song at all? Really? Well, too bad. You're all getting it now.



And there you have it. Of course we're not taking these jokes lion down. The lion must be drawn here, and we stand as a holy allionce against any who would resist. We're not lion about this. But we thank you, our loyal cliontele, for continuing to play and pass this quiz with flion colors. We're reliont on your boundless humor and creativity; if your minds do not alion correctly, we proceed bliondly, without direction or guidance.

Right. That paragraph should be sufficiently out of hand for everyone involved, so I'll stop here. Thanks for playing, and see you all tomorrow, same lion-time, same lion-channel.

Rock On!

AL&CV&LL