LJ Daily Answers: 21 December 2009

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

1. Who is the governor of South Dakota?

"Dakota Fanning." - 6 of you

"Let's be honest, ever since Schwarzie became governor nobody remembers the other ones." - b_hulsmans

(Come on. Give poor Jesse "The Governor" Ventura some respect. -CV)

"Fargo South, Decoder" - i_calql8

"Wile E. Coyote, Supergenius." - primavera

"Did you know that the bison outnumber the people in South Dakota? Something to think about next time you're there." - kittycatness

(I dare say the rats outnumber the people in New York as well... -CV)

"South Dakota has enough residents to need a governor?" - jmthane, lins_arosa
"I thought they were a loose organization of city-states down there." - hylarn

(I thought they were an autonomous collective. -CV)

"This isn't going to turn into Where in the World is Carmen SanDiego is it? Because you really need to hire Rockapella if thats the case." - tarpo

"Rotates annually among Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Roosevelt. Standing point of contention: none of them ever travel to the capital." - florahart

(Except for the year that "North by Northwest" came out; then they all co-governed for equal screen time. -CV)

"William J. LePetomaine, thus explaining the world's shortest stretch of toll highway just outside of Wall Drug." - captainsblog

(+1, Blazing Saddles. -CV)

"I for one welcome our new insect overlords!" - thepikey

(I don't think he is a member of class insecta, but I'll check to make sure. -CV)

"Sadly if he's not a wrestler, gay, cheating on his wife or all of the above, I don't know him." - kristinmachina

"I don't know, but considering all the other shit the governors have gotten into, he's probably a crack-smoking, adulterous, gay pedophile. Sigh, fifty of the most prominent Americans and what, thirty of them are psychopaths? Palin, I'm looking at you, but not for long, because you make me want to throw up. A lot." - lots42

"M. Michael Rounds, that shifty bastard. Never trust a man who uses a first initial." - laughingacademy

(Maybe he's French, and it stands for "monsieur". Zut alors! -CV)

"Mike Rounds. Don't ask why I know this, as I'm from Maryland and he's nowhere near as hot as Sarah Palin." - japeningrish

Correct Answer: M. Michael Rounds



2. What film pits Matt Damon and Ed Norton against John Malkovich in a game of poker?

"my eyeballs read this question, What film pits Matt Damon against Ed Norton in a game of Machiavellian poker?" - florahart

"Fucking Hollywood remake of 'The Seventh Seal'." - puredeadthingy

"Damon was pretty miscast. There was no way he was gonna make a good Ralph Kramden." - kchasm

"Maaaaaaaaaatt Daaaaaaaaaaaaamon." - dk2022, squeegibo, lins_arosa

(+1, Team America. -CV)

"Ocean's 27" - neumeindil

"Good Hunting, Will" - etumukutenyak

"Fight Club 2: Electric Boogaloo." - babybokal

"'The Devil Went Down To NYC', starring John Malkovich as the Devil." - cholma

"Wouldn't. you. rather. play. a. nice. game. of. chess?" - etcet

"" - ifeedformula, spiralgirl1

"Celebrity Poker Showdown, the movie version" - germankitty

"Poker without Whil Whheaton? Fuggedaboudit!" - mandydax

"John Malkovich is scary. I wouldn't play 'Go Fish' against him, let alone poker." - demon_666

"I'd only be interested if it was a game of strip poker." - dragon_within, kristinmachina

Correct Answer: "Rounders"



3. Fun with lyrics! Name the song and the band:
I knew right from the beginning
That you would end up winning
I knew right from the start
You'd put an arrow through my heart

"You say 'Fun with lyrics' and like fools we still get our hopes up every time..." - demon_666

"that's a lousy psychic, (s)he knew there would be an arrow flying towards his heart, a normal person would DUCK." - b_hulsmans

"Ode to Legolas Thranduillion by the Third Orc from the Left" - neumeindil

"Up Yours, William Tell, by the Apples" - drbear

"'Archery--UR DOIN IT WRONG' by William Tell and the Overtures" - ifeedformula

"Shot through the heart! And you're to blame. You give love a bad name." - squeegibo, mandydax
"'Shot Through the Heart' by Jovi the Hutt or something, because I have a neighbor who plays it every chance he gets--on CD players and stereos and YouTube and Rock Band (or was it Guitar Hero? I can't tell those two apart but for their color scheme) to the point where you really want to strangle him but can't because his mother's watching. Damn, now I have that song stuck in my head." - kohikari

"You know, if Elmer Fudd sang that, it would totally be about knitting. 'Wound and Wound'" - etcet

Correct Answer: RATT, "Round and Round"

"Is this heavy metal or hair metal? I get confused." - nitasee

(You and me both. -CV)



4. In the book "Something Wicked This Way Comes", what device is used to make people older or younger?

"Time" - 11 of you

"The transmogrifier" - 8 of you

"Education; I started at age 5, next thing i know, I'm 21" - seferin

"KY Jelly" - dragon_within

"The wayback machine" - phrench_phried

"A DeLorean" - nitasee

"Botox" - drbear, lots42

"The Fake I.D. Machine" - kristinmachina

"The Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator" - lins_arosa

"A literary device known as a 'Maguffin'." - thepikey

"The Makepeopleyoungerorolderizer. Not the most inventive name, but it worked." - umbralcorax

"" - germankitty

"I got yelled at during recess when I was in 5th grade for yelling 'GOT YOUR SOUL!' while pushing the merry-go-round. I had to explain to the principal that I had just recently read a Ray Bradbury novel and it seemed like a fun game to play." - japeningrish

"trust Bradbury to make anything that seems awesome, so totally not. I still avoid the Zoo Tycoon games because of The Veldt (srsly, read it sometime, lions are bastards)." - corax_onyx

"A merry-go-round. Man, that story is so fifties it hurts." - hylarn

Correct Answer: A merry-go-round



5. If you could fight anybody at all, who would you want to fight?

"Not Your Mom, that's for sure! She can take any number of blows!" - thepikey

(Why do I never see this coming? -CV)

"Ghandi. Less chance of getting my ass kicked" - seferin

"Joe Lieberman, so I can knock his weaselly ass out of the Senate!" - jmthane, captainsblog

"In keeping with the theme, I choose Short Round. 'You call him DOCTOR JONES, lady!'" - cholma

"I've never been in a fight. Chuck Norris has never been in a fight. You call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?" - many_from_one

"Lincoln. Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger. Also, my ex for breaking up with me on my birthday." - japeningrish

"My breasts usually distract people well enough to avoid fights. Or they're the cause of them, but I'm not usually involved after that." - kittycatness

"I think a 2-on-1 wrestling match with Kate Beckinsale and Halle Berry..." - drbear

"Someone French. That way, they'd just surrender and I wouldn't have to risk getting injured." - mandydax

"Stephen Hawking. Max Cleland would probably kick my butt (figuratively speaking)." - phrench_phried

"I would battle Wonder Woman. She would smack me around, tie me up and make me tell the truth. I would be happy." - mattwolf

"I would find somebody named 'Delaw' and fight them solely for the purpose of the obvious pun." - kchasm

"I'd like to arm-wrestle Steve Jobs - winner gets 1/2 of his bank account and all the plans to all the future Apple projects." - tonycaselli

"When I was six I used to beat up my best friend regularly. He is now 6'2 and works out. Whoops." - babybokal

"I'm a lover, not a fighter." - rikchik, umbralcorax

"Particle Man." - darthparadox

"HITLER. He was in my dream last night, looking rather upset while someone was cutting up an onion" - severedscythe

"A baby in possession of a large stash of candy." - squeegibo

"I'll take you all on! ALL OF YOU!!! Sorry, Christmas will do that to a person..." - demon_666

"Whoever it is that controls the Right to Party. I have been told, repeatedly, that I gotta." - etcet




And our high-speed quiztravaganza comes to a stunning conclusion here, just before Christmas. Now you can slow down again, relax, and buy the mods presents. Nothing says holiday spirit like the gift of gin, I always say. Heh heh, holiday "spirit". I see what I did there.

Anyway, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Kickass Kwanzaa, Funky Festivus, Snazzy Solstice, and whatever other holidays you may or may not celebrate. In summary, we wish you well for the season, and into the New Year, and all that good stuff. Be merry! Eat pudding! Drink gin! Good wishes to all! And all that nicey-nicey stuff.

In summary, Rock On.

AL&CV&LL