LJ Daily Answers: 9 March 2009

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

"I have to tell you that for the past few days I've been thinking about the blatant false advertising that is Stoner's Pot Palace." - angelchicken

...My initial guess is, you're not in Amsterdam.



1. In the Imperial system of weights and measures, what is the unit of mass equivalent to fourteen pounds?

"This is the Alderan in honor of the initial test of the Death Star. Fourteen pounds was the average weight of the pieces of the planet that were left after being annihilated." - bassnote
"14 pounds? Isn't that a little light to be a Stormtrooper?" - cholma

"The fortpound." - many_from_one, majorsamfan

"Nicole Richie" - actuallyspatula

"Newborn Twins. Slightly more, if you count the chocolate sprinkles." - infintysquared

"An African Swallow which has been tied to a coconut. Because it's not a question of where he grips it, he's not going to be able to carry it without some help." - theredoormouse

(+1, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. -CV)

"Can't everyone just use metric and be happy with it!?" - jenny_1981

"I refuse to answer this question because the Imperial system is old and silly. America - THE REST OF THE WORLD IS METRIC! TIME TO CATCH UP!" - neyinka

(The stone is a unit used in England, not America. We're backward in a different way. -CV)

"A stone. So, when witches were stoned before being burned, they gained a lot of weight. That's why all modern cartoon witches are fat. For true!" - stagemanager

(And this week's gruyere Award for Logic Renunciation goes to... stagemanager! -CV)

"One stone, which never made any sense to me. Stones are different shapes and sizes! How can you get ONE STONE that is EXACTLY 14 pounds? And how do you declare that THIS IS THE STONE WE BASE SUCH MEASUREMENTS ON!" - cassildra

"Lets see, 14 pounds is the weight of a duck, and everyone knows that Ducks and small pebbles float, and pebbles are also known as 'Stones.' So I'll say 'A Stone.'" - rhiannonjk, mendeia

"A STOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE. Which is what I really still need to lose. Oh Christmas, why must you hang round my belly like a ball and chain?" - 4492

"A stone. I think this unit was developed to make people feel less fat. How could you feel fat of you only weighed 12 of something?" - marasca, its_what_we_are

Correct Answer: One stone



2. Dino and Baby Puss were the pets of which cartoon family?

(Number of people with the theme song stuck in their heads: 29. -CV)

"The Dalmer Family Carvel" - seferin

"Dino and Baby Puss sound like the names of characters in some really bad, low budge porn film." - ifeedformula at 10:18 pm and demon_666 at 10:19 pm.

"The cartoon italian mafia. They're hoping that Dino advances faster because nobody wants to kiss the ring of Don Baby Puss." - mattwolf

"It was a sad day indeed when they found Fred buried six inches deep in the rubble. Yes, the earth moved for Betty." - howeird

"Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest man in history! From the! Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree!" - many_from_one, imponderably, tears_of_nienna, yayworthy

"What would happen if Wilma Flintstone rubbed up against the Man of Steel?" - glamsith

(Ooooh, sparkly! -CV)

"" - cmzero

"I have to believe that Baby Puss : Flinstones :: Scrappy : Scooby Doo." - adalger

(No, you're thinking of the Great Gazoo, who is the personification of the shark that the show jumped. -CV)

"The Flintstones, right? Or was it the Jetsons? One of those two families has a daughter with the same name as me, and that's all I can remember..." - kohikari

(Henceforth, everyone may call kohikari "Pebbles". -CV)

"Im going to go with the gut instinct of the Flintstones. Sometimes my gut is right. Apart from when its telling my to just finish the tub of B&J when im on a diet" - meloglas

"It's really kind of hard to tell the difference between the pets and the appliances in that household, what with the dinosaur lawnmowers, hedgetrimmers, and lamps made of birds that light and blow out candles." - thepikey
"I wonder what the turnover rate was. 'Oh darn, we need a new telephone because the dishwasher ate it and left its dessicated carcass on the living room floor'" - uadlika

"I never understood this show. Why did Fred wear a tie but no shoes? Why did he wear a tie as a crane operator?! Why didn't Barney wear a tie OR shoes? Did ANYONE wear underwear? Who was Bamm-Bamm's father, and did Barney have ANY clue that the kid looked NOTHING like him?" - tony101

"I empathize with Fred some. A lot of nights, I have to pick the cat up and take him out of the bedroom so we can sleep. We can't have both him and the dog in the room while we sleep... We tried that once, I wound up with claw marks on my face." - umbralcorax

"The real question is why Fred AND George Jetson had their asses kicked by their pets." - bassnote

Correct Answer: The Flintstones

(For those of you who are wondering, Baby Puss is the cat-thing that Fred attempts to put outside during the closing credits. -CV)



3. Fun with lyrics! Name the band and the song:
In the heat with a blue jean girl
Burnin love comes once in a lifetime
She found me singing by the rail road track
Took me home, we danced by moonlight

"I think if Sting formed a band called The Goddamn Batman and released an album titled 'Your Mom' with a picture of Brazillian volleyball players on the cover, we could answer a good 60% of all questions. 70% if the song titles are 'Those Jerks in Pod Six' and a handful other pop-culture references. Actually, switch the band name and the album title. That way, it could read 'Your Mom is currently on tour of America, playing every night to packed crowds of 30,000 or more...'" - thepikey

"It isn't "fun with lyrics" when you *never* know what the song is and you always feel a bit silly and behind the times." - gigglingpixie

"You know, for a person who has 30 gigs of music on their computer, I recognize appallingly few of these song questions. " - adarraliselle

"TELL ME, TELL ME THERE IS A BAND CALLED "Rock, Paper, Scissors"! Or at least a Sting song called "Rock, paper, scissors"" - 4492

"I swear to god, when I first read those lyrics I could have sworn I saw the word cock in there. And then I realized - who the heck would sing a song about a male chicken?" - frequencyshift

(Maybe these guys? - TL)

"Is there any song that doesn't have a double entendre every line? Excepting Weird Al songs. Unless they have double entendres too. ...What would a Weird Al double entendre sound like? "I'd like to roll with the gangsters *winkwink*"?" - morgana006
"It's American. They have obsessions with blue jeans and railroads and sex." - puredeadthingy

"Rhyme And Meter are for Sissies by the Emo Boys." - judith_s

"Year 3000, by Busted. It's the best song ever and I might as well answer with it as you're not going to quote this." - yayworthy

"So this Blue Jean Girl. Now. I get the burning love, simple fix: drink more cranberry juice. BUT her bigger problem seems to be that she's meeting random guys who are singing on railroad tracks, which is not a place that a Blue Jean Girl should be hanging out, and she's taking them home with her. I see men singing by railroad tracks and I turn the other way, but thats just me. Further more she takes them home to dance in the moonlight? Isn't this something she could do while at the railroad tracks? Seems like a lot of unnecessary walking for Blue Jean Girl and her railroad track serenader." - kedda_nouvelle

"I'm not sure but I'm not surprised that the blue jeans led to burning love. I mean the friction burns alone... ouch." - faery_wing

"I'm not sure the name of the song, but can someone pass me blue jean girl's number?" - demon_666

""How I Got My STD," by the Hopeless Romantics." - lookingforwater

"I hope nobody answers "It's something from Twilight," because then I'd be forced to strangle you." - psychopompos

(Um.... - TL)

"My Hobo Years," by Edward Cullen, from the album "Ain't Got No Sparkle Without That Rock-Stupid Bint"" - etcet

"Sly and the Family Stone? The Rolling Stones? Stone Temple Pilots? Stönë? (OK, I made the last one up.)" - etumukutenyak

"The Rolling Stones, with their smash hit "Despite Everything Medical Science Says, We're Still Alive"." - billfl

"These guys?" - cmzero

"Journey. But what the hell does "Stone in Love" mean? More like "stoned while in love" or "so stoned I thought I was in love"" - nitasee

(Take it away! - TL)

"Runnin from the heat with a blue jean girl,
burnin doobies could cost me a lifetime,
Got the munchies by the railroad track
At a box of twinkies and freaked out in the moonlight." - joscelin

Correct Answer: Journey, "Stone in Love"



4. What artifact is rumored to give you "the gift of gab" should you kiss it?

"I would say chaosvizier's butt, but is it really an artifact?" - tweeti

(Rock hard, baby. -CV)

"An Oscar. Those fucking celebs certainly don't shut up after they kiss one." - selenityshiroi

(Full credit. -AL)

"Well my gran says that I was born with it so maybe I'M the artifact... " - meloglas

"It doesn't give you the gift of gab, it simply helps you rediscover it - just like Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn't, didn't already have. " - iambickilometer
"A Horse with No Name." " - blindgeoff

(+1, America. Yeah, I have their Greatest Hits CD. – LL)

"Pot. Which makes you stoned and has a link with the theme. Go me!" - gigglingpixie

"As opposed to the Baloney Stone, which only gives you the power of delicious cold cuts." = billfl
"The Baloney Stone gives you the gift of flab." - mendeia

"The same one it is rumoured that drunken Irishmen piss on all the time." - lots42

(Well, wouldn't you? Everyone hates tourists. -AL)

"The Blur-ney stone. Right next to it is the obelisk Whiskey dick. The Irish sure name their monuments right." - nticarnation1

"When I was a kid, I always wondered if the Blarney Stone was purple and liked to sing happy-if-annoying songs..." - nirejseki

"The Blarney Stone. My husband kissed that when he was a kid, and honestly, I don't think he's shut up since. He talks ALL the time, even during sex!" - star_bunnies

(Whoa. -AL)

"Don't believe it; it's the same thing Billy Teuston told me in tenth grade. It didn't work and it didn't make my hair shiny either. " - watergal

"The Kiss Me Kate Stone. It's little known brother was The Now Shut The Hell Up Stone. " - ____absolution

"I really wanna make a dick joke but I have a sneaking suspicion everyone and their mother will be making those. (Your mom jokes too for that matter.) " - theredoormouse

"The Blarney Stone! Holy crap! My unstoppable devouring of all those books about American-kids-who-move-to-Europe-and-ohmygod-aren't-they-weird-with-their-traditions-ha-ha-they're-funny-let's-say-loo-a-lot finally paid off. " - actuallyspatula, who used to be using_chemicals

"Kiss my grits, CV." - cholma

"The Blarney Stone. The gift of gab begins when the kisser immediately shouts "NOW PULL ME THE F**K UP OUT OF HERE!!!" " - i_calql8

"Blarney Stone. I asked the Irish girl in my office about it and she said "you have to lie on your back and kiss it upside down from beneath" (or that's what the pervey man said to her at the time). " - 7tree_hugger

"Knowing how many people kiss that thing, I'm guessing by now it's just "the gift of mono"." - darthparadox

"I waited in line for an hour and a half next to an annoying group of Italian schoolkids that I wanted to toss over a parapet, then lay down backwards to kiss a stone that is already covered in the spit of all that went before. My speech didn't improve, but I think it gave me herpes. Fuck you Blarney." - uadlika

Correct Answer: The Blarney Stone



5. Who played Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife in the movie "Total Recall"?

"Rachel was hotter" - billfl, cholma
"Sharon "I would have picked her over the brunette any day" Stone. " - cmzero

" YES, PLEASE. " - etcet

"*Smacks self in the head* My thought process just went as so - "Haaa! Err...Demi Rock!! Haaaahahaaa - Sharron STONE! Haaaa! That's totally a made up name. Man, I'm never going to get this one right ........................ .......................... ............................. ................................. ......................... ............waaaaaaa-iiiiiiiiit............... ......................... ..........Oh My GOD"" - 4492

""Total Recall" holds the distinction of being the worst adaptation of a Philip K. Dick story to hit the screen. It is the only reason "The Minority Report" can sleep at night. " - seekingferret

"I haven't seen an Arnie movie in ages. Actually, Kindergarten Cop was on Sky a few weeks back and I caught the last twenty minutes. Best twenty minutes of this year [/nostalgia]. " - selenityshiroi

(I can't decide between the "It's not a tumor!" or the "Boys have penises, girls have vaginas" quotes… - LL)

"The theme tells me it must've been Sharon Stone, but honestly that was the most inappropriate name ever for a movie so forgettable. The book by Piers Anthony was better, and that's saying something, 'cause PA writes pathetic drivel if your taste in literature is more advanced than, say, third grade. " - adalger

"Jamie Lee Curtis has NOTHING to do with this week's theme. Why do you toy with me so? ...What? She was in True Lies? Oh. Well, which one was Total Recall? The one on Mars?? Get out! Did I ever see that? " - stagemanager

Correct Answer: Sharon Stone



6. You've got one stone, and you can throw it at anything without repercussion. What do you target?

"Two birds, of course, metaphysics be damned! " - jered_cain, megolas, 4492, angelprojekt

"The Pope's hat. While he's wearing it, on the tvbox, so it falls right off his head. I've just always wanted to do that. " - lookingforwater

"I'd like to think that I'm above that so-oh, who am I kidding? The big fat head of my mother in law! " - mattwolf
"I've been married now for about 73 hours, and already I know that I would throw the stone at my mother in law! " - jenny_1981

(Has she asked about kids yet? Mine "waited" 24 hours. – LL)

(No, seriously. Congratulations on getting married! Woooo! Party thread in the comments! +1 for all who offer felicitations! - AL&CV&LL&TL)

"This one guy's car whose car alarm always goes off at 6AM. If I can break it, then the whole neighborhood would owe me brownies. " - psychopompos

(Thus converting stone into chocolate. +1. -AL)

"A window in the middle of the night, where my true love's dad waits with a shotgun and a bottle of moonshine... " - canuckdesz

"I wrote "my dad" but then he left the room and I decided that was cruel so deleted it. Then he walked back in, swore loudly and stormed out again so I'm going back to my original answer. " - gigglingpixie

"My college math teacher. She's teaching polynomials and conical segmentations and I just want to punch her in the face. There's no reason I should be taking this class if I completely calculus in high school. But you try telling that to my academics adviser. " - ____absolution

"The jerks in pod 6. " - sskipstress

"I find someone with a similar stone and we throw them at each other in an attempt to recreate a very primitive particle collider. " - billfl

"Someone's kidney. Ha ha!" - akiyasan

"Oh, decisions, decisions. Let's have a lottery. " - etumukutenyak

(Oh I see what you did there! – LL)

"" - zihuatanejo

(Holy crap, what is that thing? WHERE is that thing? I must throw a stone at it IMMEDIATELY. -AL)

"George Lucas for making the last 4 Star Wars flicks (incl. Clone War) and the 4th Indiana Jones, *plus an extra stone for taking Howard the Duck off his resume." - wiredwizard

"the car of whomever can get the ball rolling on kicking Sarah Palin out of being the governe of Alaska. The stone will have 'Kick Palin out for being a gibbering moron' note wrapped around it. Because Jesus God, that woman couldn't organize an orgy in a monkey whorehouse with a Bag of Infinite Bannanas. " - lots42

"That guy who's without sin. Time he got a little of his own medicine. " - cmzero

"I would throw it at a drum twice, and make my own re-percussion. " - spatialrift47

"The people at OkCupid for including my age in today's birthday spam. I get it, I'm over 30 and still single..way to make me feel like a loser on my birthday, @ssholes. " - alstaria

"My fifth grade teacher, Mr. Walker. That SOB traumatized me so much I repressed most of that whole year. I'd chuck it hard, too, for maximum concussive force. Might even set it on fire first just for kicks. " - kohikari



And there you have it! Sorry about the delay; got really ill today and decided that napping and feverish sweating was better than the intarwebs. What was I thinking? Anyway, everything should be back to normal tomorrow. Hasta la vista, and Rock On!

AL&CV&LL&TL

Comments

[spyderqueen.livejournal.com]

Who was Bamm-Bamm's father, and did Barney have ANY clue that the kid looked NOTHING like him?" - tony101

So you totally missed the part about Bamm Bamm being adopted after being left on the Rubble's doorstep?

yes, I know this shit. My knowledge of random trivia appalls even me.

[selenityshiroi.livejournal.com]

I'm impressed! I was quoted twice and you got my name wrong BOTH times!!!

+2 to you guys. If you're gonna fuck something up, fuck it up RIGHT! XDXDXD

Oooh!

[joscelin.livejournal.com]

I can haz Twinkie nao??? :)

[tarnera.livejournal.com]

What the...(*&*&%^&%, no quote AGAIN?

I'm a bit annoyed now...I think random weirdness is the way to go! Look out Tuesday...you are about to be random-ized...

[lady-lilith.livejournal.com]

This was going to be my comment, so at least you know you're not alone.

[many-from-one.livejournal.com]

Woo! Team many_from_one/yayworthy continues to tear up the field, with two quotes each. (Although one of them was the same one. Hmmm.)

Also, "But You Said No" was way better than "Year 3000".

[thepikey.livejournal.com]

Ohai jenny 1981, I haz a fellicitashun, let me show yu it!

(I can haz +1 naow?)

[tinamachina.livejournal.com]

Complete and utter fail on my part!

But this: ""It was a sad day indeed when they found Fred buried six inches deep in the rubble. Yes, the earth moved for Betty." - howeird"

...is PURE GOLD!

[psychopompos.livejournal.com]

Jesus might be jealous if I can turn stone into chocolate.

[ladyiapetus]

From one quotage last week to no quotage this week.


I knew it was too good to last.

[germankitty]

*sigh* I had a feeling there'd be no quotage for me today. A couple close calls, but "barely missed" is still not "right on target", correct?

[kagomeshuko.livejournal.com]

To kohikari:

I also had a 5th grade teacher named Mr. Walker. I went to school with his son from K-12. It's obvious we did not go to the same school, though. "My" Mr. Walker was awesome and always made the whole class laugh! We even had a pizza party that one girl organized and didn't end up having class the whole 2nd half of the day!

[kagomeshuko.livejournal.com]

To tony101:

You do know that BamBam was adopted, don't you? I wouldn't think Barney would suspect him to have any family resemblance.

[kagomeshuko.livejournal.com]

How did I miss this FIRST comment? Oi . . silly me, I put the same info later!

[severedscythe.livejournal.com]

Throw rocks at this thing

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1173/622413321_8c7ea22063.jpg
http://images.travelpod.com/users/waspey/3.1231302720.perth-bell-tower.jpg

I am not even kidding. There's a reason its called Richard's Erection. (AHAH DICKY'S FOLLY IS MY FAVOURITE NAME FOR ITTT)

[tonycaselli.livejournal.com]

Good God, I DID totally miss the part about Bamm Bamm being adopted after being left on the Rubble's doorstep.

PARTY THREAD

[uadlika.livejournal.com]

I second that felicitation! I wish you many years of peace with your mother-in-law. Or avoidance. Whichever you prefer.

[uadlika.livejournal.com]

Oh yay, LJDQ, you have returned to me! I was so worried! I hope you feel better soon chaosvizier!

Yay two quotages!

[tweeti.livejournal.com]

Sucking up gets me quoted again...I should be ashamed...but am not...still feels glowy...

jenny_1981 Congrats on marriage...I hope you're as happy as drbear and I!!

[lots42.livejournal.com]

(Has she asked about kids yet? Mine "waited" 24 hours. – LL)
---

Dude, too many moms don't even wait until the girl has -found- a guy.

P.S. To CV; I had napping and migraines and NO DAMNED VOICE. Which is ironic, given the Blarney stone answer. I still have no damned voice.

P.P.S. Jaime Lee Curtis was hotter.

[mistressjennfer.livejournal.com]

4. What artifact is rumored to give you "the gift of gab" should you kiss it?

I'm disappointed my "Joan Rivers" answer didn't get in. :(

Happy (Belated) Birthday alstaria, from a fellow over-30 apparent-spinster.

Re: PARTY THREAD

[mistressjennfer.livejournal.com]

THIRDED!!

[frequencyshift.livejournal.com]

Five weeks and going strong. *knocks on wood*

[amberdowny.livejournal.com]

Bamm Bamm was adopted? Srsly?

[demon-666.livejournal.com]

Meh...

Anyway, at least the links provided were of an improved quality today...